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On September 07 2009 22:06 nayumi wrote:
A father and a son went fishing. It was lunch time so the father pulled out a beer and started drinking. Wanting to try some, the son asked: "Dad, can I have a beer too?".
"Can your dick touch your asshole?", the father asked.
"No", the son replied.
"Then you're too young to drink beer", the father laughed.
On their way back home, the father lighted up his cigarette.
"I want some of that too", asked the son.
"Can your dick touch your asshole", the father repeated the same question.
"No ... but ..."
"Tch tch tch then you're still too young to smoke".
That night after supper, the son had his favorite chocolate cookies. Craving for some, the father asked "Boy, give me one of those".
"Can you dick touch your asshole, dad?", asked the son, giving his dad an innocent look.
"Of course son, I'm an adult"
"Then go fuck yourself", the son snapped and headed to his room.
Hahaha great stuff!
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On September 07 2009 22:09 mcneebs wrote:What did the leper say to the prostitute? + Show Spoiler +
Ewww, win.
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Please try to proofread the jokes you post since a lot of them have pretty bad typos that totally lose the essence of the joke.
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Bosnia-Herzegovina1437 Posts
On September 07 2009 20:44 meegrean wrote:
A cannibal dumped his girlfriend.
ROFL
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What do you call a rooster with insomnia?
+ Show Spoiler +A cock that stays up all night lollolololololol.
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On September 08 2009 01:53 mcJ wrote:What do you call a rooster with insomnia? + Show Spoiler +A cock that stays up all night lollolololololol.
I lol'd at this and the cannibal one. I feel ashamed I have nothing to contribute except these compliments.
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Ok Ok I got one
Two cowboys are drinking at a bar in a dusty old town in the American midwest. They're both quite manly and even a little arrogant, so they try to one-up each other by gloating their abilities.
The first cowboy smirks. "I can shoot five beer bottles with the same bullet. Bet you can't do that, kid." He then takes his pistol out of his holster and BANG! shoots one bullet that hits five nearby, unaligned beer bottles. He grins and stares at the other. "My name is Bill. Buffalo Bill."
The second cowboy says: "That's nothing. I can fuck five women at a time!" He then drops his pants, revealing five dicks. "My name is Bill. Cherno Bill."
not bad taste I hope ^^
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Haha, good times.. Anyway, I'm not even sure what catagory this is:
A man's sitting in the park. Suddenly he sees a small boy walking around looking like he has nothing to do. So he approaches the boy, and says "Hello there... Little boy". The boy looks at him, frightened. "My momma says I can't talk to strangers." He says, attempting to back off, but the man reaches into his pocket and takes out a toffifee "But I have.. Toffifee". He said with a smile, and the boy happily went home with him. Toffifee. For people that likes small nuts.
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Oh man I'm not sure I can pull this off without doing it in person, it's really the kind of joke that you use in the middle of a crowd so you can walk off afterward. Hopefully this works the way I want it to. Anyway, I apolgize in advance to any sensitive eskimo folk. Ok, here goes.
So, A baby seal walks into a club
+ Show Spoiler +
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On September 08 2009 02:09 merach wrote:Oh man I'm not sure I can pull this off without doing it in person, it's really the kind of joke that you use in the middle of a crowd so you can walk off afterward. Hopefully this works the way I want it to. Anyway, I apolgize in advance to any sensitive eskimo folk. Ok, here goes. So, A baby seal walks into a club + Show Spoiler +
Laughed so hard xD I am a bad person!
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On September 08 2009 02:14 Lovin wrote:Show nested quote +On September 08 2009 02:09 merach wrote:Oh man I'm not sure I can pull this off without doing it in person, it's really the kind of joke that you use in the middle of a crowd so you can walk off afterward. Hopefully this works the way I want it to. Anyway, I apolgize in advance to any sensitive eskimo folk. Ok, here goes. So, A baby seal walks into a club + Show Spoiler + Laughed so hard xD I am a bad person!
I'm confused...
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On September 07 2009 21:43 madnessman wrote:+ Show Spoiler +A little boy comes home from school. He says, "Dad, I got my first blowjob today."
The father goes, "That's great! How was it?"
He goes, "Tasted awful." aaaaah! i didn't see that one coming.
I see what you did there 
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On September 08 2009 02:22 selboN wrote:Show nested quote +On September 08 2009 02:14 Lovin wrote:On September 08 2009 02:09 merach wrote:Oh man I'm not sure I can pull this off without doing it in person, it's really the kind of joke that you use in the middle of a crowd so you can walk off afterward. Hopefully this works the way I want it to. Anyway, I apolgize in advance to any sensitive eskimo folk. Ok, here goes. So, A baby seal walks into a club + Show Spoiler + Laughed so hard xD I am a bad person! I'm confused... A baby seal got clubbed, that's it
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On September 08 2009 02:09 merach wrote:Oh man I'm not sure I can pull this off without doing it in person, it's really the kind of joke that you use in the middle of a crowd so you can walk off afterward. Hopefully this works the way I want it to. Anyway, I apolgize in advance to any sensitive eskimo folk. Ok, here goes. So, A baby seal walks into a club + Show Spoiler +
THAT IS SO FUNNY... ROFL
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On September 08 2009 02:33 Falcynn wrote:Show nested quote +On September 08 2009 02:22 selboN wrote:On September 08 2009 02:14 Lovin wrote:On September 08 2009 02:09 merach wrote:Oh man I'm not sure I can pull this off without doing it in person, it's really the kind of joke that you use in the middle of a crowd so you can walk off afterward. Hopefully this works the way I want it to. Anyway, I apolgize in advance to any sensitive eskimo folk. Ok, here goes. So, A baby seal walks into a club + Show Spoiler + Laughed so hard xD I am a bad person! I'm confused... A baby seal got clubbed, that's it
Thats really all it is, face to face what I always do is I look at the person with a really excited look on my face, my eyes saying "Man here comes the punch line it's so freaking good are you ready for this? Here it comes!" and then I sorta just walk away and do something else and let it sink in.
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A blond girl came home from school one day and said to her mommy "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, look at me! All the other kids in my class can only recite their ABC's to the letter D, but i can recite mine to the letter G! A, B, C, D, E, F, G!"
The mom said "Thats great honey...."
The girl said "Is it because I'm blond mommy?"
"Yes it's cause you're blond."
The next day, the girl came home from school and said to her mommy, "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, look at me! All the other kids in my class can only say their numbers up to 4, but i can say mine up to 8! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8!"
The mom said "That's great honey...."
"Is it because I'm blond mommy?"
"Yes it's cause you're blond."
The very next day, the girl came home from school and said, "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, look at me! All the other girls in my class have flat chests but i have these!"
She then proceeds to lift up her shirt and a pair of 26D's falls out.
The mom's all embarassed and says"....thats great honey"
"Is it cause I'm blond mommy?"
"No, it's cause you're 26."
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Gun Shop Owner: Hi, How can I help you?
Client: I am looking for a gun.
Owner: What kind of gun are you looking for?
Client: (pointing at the biggest handgun in the case): That one looks about right.
Owner: (very surprised): Why do you need a .44 magnum?
Client: It is for shooting at cans.
Owner: (pointing at a small handgun) Well, this is the perfect size for shooting at cans.
Client: (pointing again at the .44) Nah, I need this one.
Owner: OK, what kind of cans are you shooting at?
Client: Mexi-cans... Puerto Ri-cans... Afri-cans...
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Are " Your mom " jokes permitted?
As in , Your mom is so fat...etc etc etc
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The horse walks into an ice-cream shop. He goes: hello Miss, i would like one ice-cream. The counterwoman thinks "huh dumb horse, he doesn't understand" and replies: that will be 10 bucks, please...By the way not many horses coming to buy ice-cream here. And the horse says: nothing to wonder about, if it costs 10 fucking bucks.
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EPT
