[Let's Play] Empire: Total War - Page 2

Sentenal

United States12398 Posts

June 20 2012 23:16 GMT

#21

Part 8

Gerenal WreakHavoc has sent out to crush yet another Polish Rebellion. These things seem to pop up like every couple of turns, and I'm getting tired of it. These Rebellions and riots keep burning down Warsaw's infrastructure, and is ending up costing me a fortune. Havoc knows this, and has set out on a new Campaign, one that will re-start the conquest of Poland.

Havoc meets marchs out with the bulk of his Eastern Army, to meet the rebel forces.

Across the field, the Rebels have gathered, and march to meet Havoc.

The Rebels quickly try and outflank Havoc's line with a cavalry charge, however, their flanking is caught by Havoc's Left Wing. This spells disaster for this cavalry unit, as musket fire blasts them to pieces.

Meanwhile, on the other flank, the rebels try again with a different cavalry regiment. However, Havoc has his flanks protected, and this cavalry regiment too is met with a rain of bullets, routing it.

Now it is just a text-book battle of defeating Militia with Line Infantry.

The enemy begins to get encircled, and Havoc positions his own cavalry at the enemy's rear, waiting for a chance to ride them down.

The encirclement and cavalry charge breaks the enemy, causing their entire lines to collapse. In the resulting pursuit, the Rebel General is killed in battle.

Havoc absolutely crushes the rebels.

Havos still has over 1000 men at his command, while the enemy is crushed. When Havoc finishes mopping them up, Havoc marchs on Lwow.

Its been a while since I've taken a look at how my Generals have grown after their battles, so lets take a look.

Before, Havoc was a "Soldier from Birth", "Happy Drinker", "Steady Under Fire", and "Prussian Junker". Kinda shitty, especially when he was supposed to replace General EchOne, who was an EXCELLENT 7 Star General. And Havoc has been shaping out quite nicely! Steady Under Fire and Prussian Junker are gone, replaced by "Brave Soldier", "Attacking General", and "Superior General". Hes 6 stars as well, fairly close to what Echo was. Havoc has become a very worth successor to Echo. And hes younger than Echo was when I first got him, so the sky is the limit with him.

Here is General Kaal. Apparently Kaal has gone into a slump since Echo's death. Where Kaal was a 7 Star General, he is now a 5 star. He is no longer the darling of the media, or a Petty Tyrant. He has gained the Steady Under Fire trait, however. And he is still a Superior General, so there is no-one questioning that he knows how to fight. Kaal needs to step his game up though, or these new-comers are just gonna surpass him, and maybe take away his title of "Supreme Commander of Prussian Forces" away from him.

Here is General Nagisama. He has grown nicely as well. He is now a 6 Star General. Nagi's biggest change is that he has become a Confident General. Let us hope that his confidence isn't misplaced...

And myself. I got some new dude following me around, but other than that, I'm just older. Meh.

So, back to the game. A Westphalian Army has invaded me, again. Nagisama prepares to ride out and meet them. The torched a farm on their way in, and they need to be dealt with before they do the same to that town. I have too many expenses already!

Meanwhile, my Assassin Spazer has inflitrated Polish territory, and assassinated a Catholic Priest. This is good. With the priest dead, pretty soon I can start spreading my superior Protestant beliefs into this area.

Havoc finally closes in on whats left over of the Rebel Forces he was chasing.

Auto-resolve, crush them. Havoc now just needs to wait for reinforcements before he proceeds to Lwow.

Meanwhile, there is a Polish army threatening my Gentlemen-learning-place-thing. General Kaal moves to crush them.

Auto-resolve, crushed them.

Before Nagisama marches on the Westphalian Invaders, I send an Envoy to my neighboring country of Hannover. Apparently some chick is in charge there, but whatever. I make a request for a Military Alliance with them. They are also neighbors with Westphalia. Should they join me in the war, perhaps Westphalia will leave me the fuck alone? Hannover accepts because I'm just so sexy.

Nagisama marches out to meet the Westphalian invaders. Even though I have a sizable advantage in just about every way I look at it, the game doesn't think my advantage is too much. But soon, battle will begin, and Nagisama will again attempt to force the Westphalians out of my territory.

So Nagisama arranges his forces. Its a clear day winter day. Snow all over the place, but there is no storm. A nice day to have a bloody battle where hundreds of people die!

The Westphalians begin their march.

Apparently my enemies are addicted to retarded cavalry charges. While this is a stupid thing to do in general, the computer didn't count on Nagisama still employing the Rosenritter in his army. The Rosenritter quickly rape and route the enemy cavalry unit.

So the battle lines are formed. Nagi sends his cavalry behind the enemy, getting ready for a flank.

THIS is how you are supposed to use horses! Take notes, computer!

So the Westphalian's Left Wing has been crushed, and their Right Wing is attacked my Nagi's Rosenritter.

The enemy is in a pretty bad position. The battle continues, while Nagisama's cavalry ride down routing enemies.

The Rosenritter finally route their enemy, and pull back, since fighting with spears vs guns is hard work. Nagisama orders his own unit to pursue the routing troops.

It doesn't take long for the rest of the enemy to break ranks and flee. The battle is all but over.

Heroic Victory. Nagisama defeats the Westphalians, and drives them out of Prussian territory.

They are defeated, and driven out. Its worth noting that the remainder of the enemy are driven INTO Hannover. Which, I'm sure, gets Hannover pissed at Westphalia.

In other news, Morocco is destroyed. War in Africa, I guess. Prussians don't give a fuck, though.

Havoc is met by reinforcements, and finally marches on Lwow itself. Lwow is a fortress, however. This will be a new sort of battle for my armies.

I demand they surrender, since they are mostly Firelock Armed Citizenry (which are horrible), but they refuse. Stupid bastards. Havoc will show them whats up.

As a note, I need to clarify something about earlier in my playthrough. Remember when Austria invaded, and attacked my capitol? Well, I said that I just had 3 Line Infantry and "Militia" that battle, right? Well, I was mistaken. While you can actually buy Militia, and Militia do indeed suck, there is a different level of "suck" in this game, and that is Firelock Armed Citizenry. They are even worse than militia. If you forced to use them, then God help you.

Nagisama

Canada4481 Posts

June 21 2012 15:52 GMT

#22

Fuck yeah!!! Rosenritter too good!!! Who cares if they're on horses!

Sentenal

United States12398 Posts

June 21 2012 17:45 GMT

#23

Part 9

The Siege of Lwow begins. This is a first for me, taking a castle. I position my cannons as close as possible. They can barely hit the closest wall, but that should be good enough.

Their infantry is on the walls, ready to defend against me. And these fuckers have cannons too, wtf the castle walls are shooting me!

Well thats okay, because my cannon shelling causes one portion of their castle walls to crumble on the North West end. Now, I have room to walk my dudes in.

They move some of their infantry down as well, forming up just inside the hole. Advancing through that little crack is gonna be a bloodbath.

Luckily, on the North East End, I have Spider Man on my team. He fires his webs up to the top of the wall, to begin his climb!

Spider-man~ Spider-man~ Radio Active Spider-man~

Yeah so all my dudes are just climbing up the walls. I only took a little token losses here or there from cannons and musket fire. Apparently, defenders are too retarded in this game to just mow down advancing infantry from on top of a wall.

So my dudes climb up the wall, and a huge melee battle begins up there.

Rather than send his men into a meat-grinder, Havoc chose to keep a regiment outside the hole he opened, and simply fire into it, and not let them get out. Additionally, he did the same at the front gate. The enemy general decides to send some militia out the hole to engage me, followed by his cavalry.

The same thing happens at the front gate, as militia units pour out to engage my troops.

Meanwhile, on the Castle Walls, my infantry have almost all made it up, and have pretty much claimed the walls for themselves.

Back at the hole I opened, the fight is still going on fiercely. I send my unit of Militia in as support for my Line Infantry.

The infantry that scaled the walls is now trying to make their way down. A unit of Polish infantry was trying to go up to stop them, and another melee breaks out.

The militia that sallied forth from the main gates are getting wiped out. Pretty soon, the main gate will be mine.

At the breach, the battle continues. Nothing much has changed there.

Finally, a regiment of infantry on the Wall make it down, and engage the Enemy General's unit. They just run around while I shoot at them.

The militia attacking at the gate have all fallen.

And the fighting at the breach is all but concluded, as the enemy units begin to route.

Heroic Victory. And I own it all to Spider Man.

The entire Enemy Garrison was crushed, and Lwow is now mine. Havoc's causalities were very light compared to the enemy.

Here is the biggest gain that I got from this conquest, and it was an unexpected one. The simple capture of Lwow will more than double my income next turn. Due to all the unrest in Warsaw, I've been getting less than 1000 gold to spend per turn, and most of that was simply going to refill my army units. I didn't have nearly enough to simply rebuild infrastructure in Warsaw, let alone by new places. With almost 2k coming in, I will finally have enough money to invest in rebuilding!

Also I now have a Mistress, apparently.

Meanwhile, a small Polish invasion force heads towards East Prussia. They completely ignore an advanced force set up in town near the border, and strike at the city itself. This move in itself will likely be described by later historians as "The WORST Decision EVER! With such a small army, they strike at the city in the worst possible place, essentially surrounding THEMSELVES. Their only chance of victory is to quickly defeat one of my forces before they link up, but with such a tiny army... While I have no generals there, Zergneedsfood, the officer in command of the city garrison, readies his defenses.

ZNF readies his forces, and chooses to completely ignore manning the walls.

The Enemy Force chooses to attack the castle first, and begins marching. However, they only have two units of Line Infantry...

Meanwhile, the advanced force has already arrived as reinforcements, DIRECTLY at the enemy's rear.

ZNF finally decides to put some troops on the wall, and sends the rest out into the field to repel the enemy before they even arrive.

The battle lines are set, going to have two of my regiments against one of his. Won't be much of a fight.

Minewhile, reinforcements catch the enemy in the rear, and a slaughter beings.

Their attacking units don't fair much better.

Apparently Spider Man is part of their army too, and they begin to start scaling my walls. A regiment of infantry is waiting for them.

Reinforcements open fire on their cannons. Not much longer now till they are finished.

They spread out, and begin the extermination.

The Spidermen make their way up the wall, and engage ZNF's troops. But trickling up so slowly allows ZNF's men to deal with them easily.

The troops scaling the walls are defeated, and all the troops in the field have been crushed. ZNF wins a decisive victory.

ZNF only lost 21 troops, a fact that pissed him off. ZNF, for some insane reason, believes the quality of victory is only determined by how much blood is spent to gain it.

So a National Update that is relevant to me! Westphalia has fallen! Apparently, after Nagisama drove the last Westphalian Army out of Saxony, into Hannover's territory, relations in between their countries went into the shitter. And in the years since, Hannover invaded Westphalia, and conquered them. Thanks to my new allies, Western Prussia is currently secure, with only the threat of Austria lurking about!

An enemy Rake, probably Polish, was captured and executed. Clearly, hes not as talented at Raking as Spazer is.

Meanwhile, while Havoc is leading the expedition against Poland down in Lwow, a new Rebellion in Warsaw popped up. Kaal is in the region to fill the void left by Havoc, and engages the rebels.

Kaal has his units all lined up. Battle to begin shortly.

The enemy forms a massive battle line to match Kaal's and the two march to meet each other.

The two forces get ready to face off. Kaal deploys his cavalry to the enemy's rear, while at the same time leaving a unit to guard his own flank. This battle, I mistook their cool different looking Polish Infantry for some cavalry regiment, so protecting Kaal's flank was meaningless.

And the battle begins. Kaal orders his cavalry to attack both of their flanks.

The cavalry charge his them hard, putting the flow of battle squarely in Kaal's favor.

And now the routes begin. Line Infantry attacking from the front, and cavalry from behind is too much for them.

Meanwhile, Kaal's last cavalry unit engages the Rebel reserves.

Most of the Rebel Forces are broken, and the battle is almost done.

Kaal begins the encirclement.

The battle claims the life of the Rebel General. Kaal hopes that this will be the LAST of the Warsaw Rebels.

And Heroic Victory.

Barely any losses on Kaal's side, and the Rebel Army is crushed. Only mop-up operations will be required now.

Westphalia is no more, Austria is currently at peace with me, and my income is finally flowing in. All that is left is to invade the remaining Polish lands, and finish the war!

Kaal

Djibouti2514 Posts

June 22 2012 16:15 GMT

#24

I feel like I've been death flagged.

Sentenal

United States12398 Posts

June 22 2012 16:16 GMT

#25

Part 10

Last time, we had Kaal supressing a Polish Rebellion, and ZNF defending against a retardedly executed Polish Invasion.

I'm in the mood for more allies. So I see if Denmark wants to ally. However, Denmark is retarded (surprise surprise), and refuses my offer. Well, its gonna be annoying when I go to war with them later, since they will block my trade for a few turns, but fuck them.

I finally got a new Rake. The money I'm rolling in now has let me upgrade the shit I need in order to spawn more. Gaoxi is my first new Rake, however more will be coming. I give Gaoxi his first mission, to infiltrate Belarius.

Now a Rebellion springs up in Galacia. Havoc is stationed there, and will be able to crush it shortly. Thank God this place isn't a National Capitol, so this will likely be the only Rebellion I'll have to deal with here.

Meanwhile, the Polish Invade East Prussia! Again! And somehow, they make almost the EXACT same retarded mistake! They surround themselves! ZNF is eager to show them why this was a bad idea. AGAIN.

ZNF lines up his regiment, and gets ready to move out. Reinforcements should be showing up soon, directly at the enemy's rear. Should be a piece of cake.

And here the enemy is, and you can see my reinforcements showing up way at their rear.

And here they come. The enemy is surrounded by an army on either side, and they lack the strength to break through either.

But they try what they can. They send their cavalry to flank, but ZNF's Line Infantry are ready.

They charge anyway, but a frontal assault after taking a few volleys is gonna spell defeat for these horses.

Finally, the Reinforcements draw up battle lines at the rear of the enemy, and mow down the Polish Horse.

MMMmmmmmmm.... Polish Sandwich.........

Finally that first cavalry unit is routed, so this regiment can rejoin the lines.

And then they start shooting dudes in the back!

EZPZ, Polish are all routed.

More like pathetically easy victory.

Huh, ZNF lost more than I thought. Whatever. If this battle has taught ZNF anything, its that you should never respect cavalry, and it doesn't matter how many men you lose, as long as you win.

General Kaal runs in, and is all like sup, I'm mopping you. I skipped the Auto-Resolve screen this time, but they are dead.

General WreakHavoc marches on the Galacia Rebels. They have two cool infantry units, and alot of militia. Lets see how the battle goes.

Havoc readies his men.

The Rebels have to march up a big hill to get to me, but they are on their way.

Havoc's cannons shell the enemy as they march, demolishing some poor dude's house in the process.

And the Battle Lines meet.

And the "both sides shoot each other till one dies more than the other" contest begins.

Havoc deploys his Battle Lines with his Center kinda out there, but then both of the flanks form up to get a crossfire on the enemy.

Before long, the Rebel General is killed in battle.

Now it is just a matter of pursuing the enemy.

EZPZ

Now just a mop-up operation. Havoc's entire army couldn't reach them in one move, so what I did was move the army as much as I could, and then have Havoc's unit ride ahead and engage them. And then the rest of the army will join as Reinforcements. The trick works, and the Rebellion is crushed.

Meanwhile there is a small Polish unit in Warsaw that needs to be taken care of, and Kaal mimic's Havoc's tactics by riding ahead, and bringing the rest of his dudes are reinforcements. Tiny unit is crushed.

Meanwhile, Spazer infiltrates Lithuania, and goes to blow up shit.

And shit explodes! Spazer is pretty good at this killing people and blowing shit up thing.

The Ottoman Empire sends an Envoy, and they want to set up trade between our two nations. Its like the Ottomans want to ally and form the Central Powers, along with Austria, or something. But no, fuck Austria. Anyway, I accept the trade deal. More money is good.

This is the first of something that happens every fucking turn now. The Barbary States want peace. At first, I'm like OKAY GIMME GOLD AND SURE, but they refuse. I don't even know where the Barbary States are, and yet they have managed to be at war with the ENTIRE WORLD, save the Ottomans, who are their protector. But seriously, at war with the entire world, and they want peace with me?

ZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz Another Polish Rebellion.

I'm in need of another General, so I promote Zergneedsfood to General. General Kaal is in charge of the central region, Havoc is in charge of Southern Poland, in case of any invasion down there, so ZNF is charged with invading Lithuania, and conquering what is left of them. Soon, what will be known as "The Happy Funtime Adventures of ZNF" will be begin.

Meanwhile, Caller has demanded me to make him a General. Caller is crazy. He even has some crazy nut following him around everywhere. He wants a big stack of nothing but cavalry, and he wants to die in battle. Unfortunately for him, hes a good Chief Justice. I'm not crazy enough to dismiss him, not right now.

Unexpected, the Polish Rebels this time grow some balls, and Besiege Warsaw. Unfortunately for them, General Kaal is nearby, and able to ride to Warsaw's defense.

EchOne

United States2906 Posts

June 22 2012 16:19 GMT

#26

Fucking rebels. In my game I accidentally lost Warsaw to a routed Rebel Army because the pussies were still on the map and I couldn't run them down/fucking game didn't give me 1000 firelock armed citizens to hold the line for a flank.

Oh I think you can make Uhlan Lancers now. Those guys are pretty beast.

Sentenal

United States12398 Posts

June 22 2012 16:26 GMT

#27

On June 23 2012 01:19 EchOne wrote:
Fucking rebels. In my game I accidentally lost Warsaw to a routed Rebel Army because the pussies were still on the map and I couldn't run them down/fucking game didn't give me 1000 firelock armed citizens to hold the line for a flank.

Oh I think you can make Uhlan Lancers now. Those guys are pretty beast.

Uhlan Lancers? Are those cool Polish troops or something?

I've always made sure to keep a group of dudes in my cities, it would be humiliating if I lost Warsaw, only to recapture it and have the fucking Unrest go back up.

daemir

Finland8662 Posts

June 22 2012 16:28 GMT

#28

Insufficient Video Memory (4g ram, 1g vram, 64bit os)

gg, next title..

Zergneedsfood

United States10671 Posts

June 22 2012 16:50 GMT

#29

So excited for the happy funtime adventures of ZNF. :D

CobaltBlu

United States919 Posts

June 22 2012 18:15 GMT

#30

This makes me want to reinstall Empire but the game seems a lot less epic when the computer sends endless streams of ninja militia who somehow evade all your forward troops and burn down all your infrastructure and siege your cities. Also, unrest from conquering places.

Still tempting.

Gao Xi

Hong Kong5178 Posts

June 22 2012 20:05 GMT

#31

Yay I finally get to go. Hopefully I don't die -_-

Spazer

Canada8031 Posts

June 23 2012 04:57 GMT

#32

Killing priests eh? He must've been a Terraist.

Sentenal

United States12398 Posts

June 24 2012 06:54 GMT

#33

Part 11

So these ballsy Polish Rebels have besieged Warsaw. Now the city's small garrison has to hold out until General Kaal's forces arrive.

Kaal's forces are showing up, but my Garrison is too small to fight the enemy alone, and the Rebels are on the move.

Rather than simply engage the enemy, by dudes are marching South West, away from the enemy, but looking to link up with Kaal's forces. Once linked up, this battle should be a piece of cake.

The enemy sends a regiment of cavalry running my guys down, which forces my forces to stop and form battle lines to defeat them. The Rebels also ran a infantry regiment after them. Thankfully, the threat of Kaal's main force kept the bulk of their army occupied.

The threat of Kaal's forces make the Rebels reorganize their guys, getting ready to meet my assault.

Their cavalry unit is still fighting, but not for long. With the enemy reorganized, they are now marching towards the spot where it seems like my forces will link up.

But Kaal's dudes get there first. The battle proper is about to start.

The Rebels make use of the cavalry, but without a proper flank, it won't do much.

The battle went rather smoothly. Kaal's superior forces simply crushed them.

My cavarly units relentless pursued the enemy, trying to eliminate as many as possible, to reduce how many I'd have to fight in mop-up operations.

During this fighting, the Rebel General is killed.

Decisive Victory.

So Warsaw held, and the Rebel Army was crushed, with only a few lingering units remaining.

I forgot to take the aftermath screenshot for this one, but I auto-resolve this, and Kaal finishes off the enemy.

Now for something new:

Apparently, some Austrian Gentlemen ran into one of my schools. IDK if hes hurting my research or what, but that guy needs to get fucked up. And to do it, this guy. Its time for a duel! And I get a cool cut-scene from it!

This is the Austrian Gentlemen. Apparently I have only about a 50% chance of winning. But thats okay.

Okay, backs together, take 10 steps, and shoot!

"Hey, why isn't my gun firing...?"
Famous last words. If any of you ever handle a loaded gun, learn from this man's example. NEVER look down the barrel of a loaded gun. The Austrian Gentlemen shoots himself in the face. lol, quiet a humorous cutscene.

The least I could do is bury the retard.

He has taught me a valuable lesson! Don't kill yourself, or you might die.

Meanwhile, I got a new Rake! Dullahan. I've really been getting alot of these dudes recently.

And on his first mission, Gaoxi is caught and executed by Polish forces. RIP! Go keep Echo company!

I should probably start calling them Lithuanian forces now, since the "Poland" part of Poland-Lithuania has been under my control for like 7 years now. Anyway, they manage to send an invading Army after Warsaw, and the city is besieged again. With Kaal having returned to Silesia, it falls upon my newest General, Zergneedsfood, to defend Warsaw.

Before ZNF actually heads out, I take a look at whats actually going on around Lithuania. Apparently, there was some rebellion north of them. As to who controlled this city originally, I have now idea. There was a Rebellion in Estonia, and the Rebellion won. Now these Rebels are fighting Poland, Courland, AND Russia. So their victory will be short lived.

ZNF marches to Warsaw from East Prussia, joins with garrison, and begins the battle. His march to Warsaw marks the beginning of "The Happy Funtime Adventures of ZNF". I have no idea why the game thinks this is an even battle. Maybe they think my new General is so terrible, that even with superior troops and numbers, he might lose? ZNF intents to show the game just whats up.

Its a snow storm, but ZNF has his guys ready. He has two regiments of Firelock Citizenry, and 3 Militia units. So, those Firelock Citizenry will be put to good use as bait/fodder.

ZNF advances, his Firelock Citizens out in front. The enemy is using fences set up in the farmland as cover. They needs to be taken care of.

So ZNF sends the poor citizens into a melee with the enemy, while he positions his real troops to shoot everything to death.

The rest of my forces advance through the treeline. They might have fences, but I have trees. Also numbers.

And here is the entire battlefield. The Firelock Noobs are getting demolished, but everyone else is ready to begin killing all the enemy.

My Firelock Citizenry have been routed, but so what. Thanks to them, I'm able to encircle the remaining Polish troops.

Only if you count Firelock Citizenry as actual units. This game just doesn't like ZNF.

The actual results of the battle show what really happened.

A new rake spawns, Ushio. Hopefully this guy isn't a noob who will get himself killed.

So people were asking me, "Where are all the enemy stacks?!!?" Well, apparently I absolutely crippled Poland, so they are unable to field any. But take a look at Austria. 3 decent sized stacks in this picture, and there is another army floating around as well. I guess when I finally take the fight to Austria, I'll have some real battles on my hand.

Meanwhile, Spazer wants to kill some Gentlemen.

And he succeeds! I need to be a bit more cautious with him, since the assassinate chance is so low, it can't work forever.

With a force of 1100 men, ZNF finally invades Lithuania. What fun adventures await him?

So the Battle begins. ZNF's guys spawn ride outside of town.

The inital group of enemies are directly East, but there is a much larger group a bit farther away.

Rather than face me in the streets, they await me outside of town, at the bottom of a hill.

Thats what I want to say, however, but the cavalry from the reinforcing enemy just rides into town and engages me. They don't pull off a flank, so they are as good as dead.

While my forces march to meet their main army, my rear guard engages another cavalry regiment. Since their entire purpose is to protect ZNF's flank, they repel this cavalry charge with ease.

ZNF has alot of dudes, and they form ranks, and the main fighting begins.

The enemy knows they can't survive a shooting contest, so they charge my lines, and begin a melee.

This proves unwise, and ZNF's forces beat them down in the melee as well. Their spirits broken, they run away like little girls.

The battle is practically over now. Just a few more units left to kill. ZNF's own cavalry unit is running down routing forces, which seems to be the only thing cavalry is good at in this game.

ZNF marches on the last of the enemy. They have some special cannon shell, and in one blast, takes down a good number of people. But even still, they don't last long.

And the game continues to hate ZNF, calling this a close victory.

ZNF defeated the Polish defending Lithuania. Now it is only a matter of taking the city itself.

Meanwhile, Spazer had himself a little scare. He was detected, but was able to escape capture/execution.

ZNF has besieged Vilnus, the capitol of Lithuania. It is defended by solely Firelock Armed Citizenry. God help them. ZNF will shortly begin his first ever siege of a walled city! It won't be much of a fight, but they refused to surrender. Probably should have just auto-resolved, but meh.

ManicMarine

Australia409 Posts

June 24 2012 08:03 GMT

#34

One thing that I always hated about Empire Total War is how shit the AI is, even on the hardest difficulty it doesn't do anything good lol. Nice Let's Play though, I've always had good fun having epic battles between Austria and Prussia.

Emnjay808

United States10655 Posts

June 24 2012 08:23 GMT

#35

Have ZNF lead the bayonet charge for that battle.

Surely nothing can go wrong.

EchOne

United States2906 Posts

June 24 2012 16:57 GMT

#36

ManicMarine at the recommendation of my good buddy kupon3ss I decided to explore this series of mods that allegedly makes the AI far less shit:

http://www.twcenter.net/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=1126

We'll see how that goes :>

Nagisama

Canada4481 Posts

June 24 2012 17:26 GMT

#37

I enjoy the AI being absolutely garbage. Makes me feel better. Although I still struggle with naval battles.

Sentenal

United States12398 Posts

June 25 2012 20:37 GMT

#38

Part 12

General ZNF has begun his adventures in Poland-Lithuania, and has now invaded the "Lithuania" part. And here stands his first siege. However, the city is defended entirely by firelock armed citizens. Shouldn't be much of a challenge.

ZNF tell his cannons to just shoot shit, so they shoot the big section of castle thats sticking out towards me.

ZNF's cannon fire destroys that useless section of castle, and his infantry are getting close to the walls themselves.

Spider Man time.

Siege warfare seems so silly in this game.

So my guys scale the wall, and now begin fighting the Firelock armed citizenry. I'll give them maybe 10-15 seconds before they route.

My guys are crawling all over their walls.

The General of Shit is killed.

The shitty firelock armed citizens are all practically dead, and the walls are mine.

Heroic Victory! Is what the game said, but again, it continues to troll Zergneedsfood, driving him farther and farther into madness... "Heroic Victory? Why not call my previous victories 'Heroic'!? This was a slaughter, not 'Heroic'! I'll show you heroic, game! Just you wait and see! I'll show you! Fuck being Spider Man! I will raise the flag of victory upon a mountain of corpses, friend and foe, and you will call me a HERO."

EZPZ.

Next, ZNF has marched on Minsk. I thought Minsk was a Russian city, but I guess not. The city is not walled, and is defended primarily by Firelock Armed Citizenry. Should not be much of a challenge. I need to hurry up and finish Poland, so I can fight Austria.

ZNF offers them to surrender, but its refused.

ZNF leads his forces into Minsk, and gets them ready for combat.

The enemy is positioned on the East side of town, and moves to meet my Prussian army.

And here come the obligatory "cavalry get raped by guns" part the computer always pulls.

Never even made it to my lines before routing.

And so Battle Lines are formed. However, they are mostly Firelock Armed Citizens, so they gonna get raped.

Some Infantry and cavalry try to turn my flank from the city, but ZNF has his flanks covered.

The enemy's front lines are breaking. Won't be long now till victory.

The Polish flanking forces get flanked themselves, while their front lines crumble and their armies flee.

ZNF's army starts bravely shooting the enemy in the back.

Elsewhere, ZNF's cavalry and infantry try and run down routing enemy units.

Heroic Victory. However, ZNF's descent into madness cannot be stopped by one victory such as this. No, ZNF believes himself to be called to a higher place, one where even more people are needlessly killed! A close battle, but so close that it will be called HEROIC. ZNF cares not for these small, tiny one sided victories that the game calls 'Heroic'.

The battle is over, and ZNF still has about 1000 men in his army. I take a turn to replenish his forces. Now I control all the territory that Poland-Lithunia originally had. Poland was the one who managed to capture that Rebel city I noticed a year or so back.

So here is my Prussian Empire. Its really huge right now, with Poland under my control. The red-arrows have been what my war-path has been up till now. The blue arrows are what I plan for the future. ZNF is to return to Lithunia, replenish his troops, and march on the last Polish stronghold. After that, hes to kill that newbie country of Courland.

As far as Russia goes, they are real big, fairly strong, and I don't want to fight them. Russia is too big to bother me to conquer them right now. I want Austria next. So, I need to make an alliance with Russia, which will hopefully secure my new, huge-ass border with them.

That leaves Austria as my big target. Generals Kaal and Nagisama are already in position to invade. Nagisama in Saxony, Kaal in Silesia. Nagisama's role will be to sweep through Prague, and besiege Vienna, the Austria Capitol. Kaal will descend upon Hungary, and keep their armies occupied while their capitol falls. General WreakHavoc in the East has his goal set on Transylvania. Getting is a question mark, though. I need to decide on my relations with the Ottomans before I make my move there. Either form an alliance, or march through them.

Well, Russia sends an Envoy, and they want to trade technology and shit. I agree to the terms. Should be good building blocks for a future alliance.

Meanwhile, Russia breaks off their alliance with Poland! Even better news! Although, Russia wasn't defending them in the first place, since I indirectly dragged Poland into war via Saxony.

Finally, in the Winter of 1716, General ZNF marches on Riga, Estonia. It is being defended by like 11 cavalry regiments, and just a few Infantry units.

And there it is. Riga. ZNF's unpleasant memories of the game taunting him at Lithuania being to taunt him. Not this time, he tells himself.

ZNF orders that the walls be shot to pieces. His cannons begin working, putting as many holes into the castle as possible.

Behind the castle walls, the Polish horse await.

The castle is filled with horses. Since horses can't man the walls, they are just waiting behind the walls.

And the first hole is blown into the wall. This draws out a regiment of cavalry, to charge across the field at me.

Frontal charges never work, however.

No sooner had one regiment been destroyed, than another comes charging out, just to meet the same fate.

Pretty soon, they will decide its probably a better idea to camp in the walls, than charge out at me.

And so, the Polish pitch a tent within their walls. My cannons have opened up two big holes, and the main gate is open. The real battle begins soon...

However, they are ready. I'm gonna have to force myself through 3 little bottlenecks. Maybe ZNF shouldn't have destroyed all the forward wall sections, so I could just climb the wall and shoot them?

Seems like a lot of dead bodies, right? Well, ZNF disagrees. "This is barely anything!"

The walls are in tatters and on fire, and ZNF's army finally reaches them. Now, time to storm the castle!

ZNF orders his men through the front gate, and through the holes! Let the battle begin for REALZ.

The enemy sends the majority of its cavalry to defend the Northern breach, but the Southern one allows my units in.

At the Southern Breach, they march over the corpses of the stupid bastards who stayed on the wall while it exploded, and get into firing lines.

The Northern Breach is a huge melee, just a big ass fight. ZNF's men are trying to push through, but the enemy isn't letting up.

And so the routes begin, INCLUDING my guys! ZNF's first Line Infantry unit took significant damage, and is routing. Same with a few Polish infantry units.

The castle is covered in corpses from this fight.

ZNF now has a total of 4 units routing, the most I've experienced this game.

What units are left finally break through, and form battle-lines inside the castle. THIS is what line infantry is good at, not trying to thread itself through tiny holes in the wall.

However, number of corpses it took in order to get where they are now is staggering. So many dead on both sides. This has easily been the bloodiest battle I've fought the entire game.

Prussian guns finally bring down the enemy General, and with him, Poland-Lithuania's future. It may have been a blood-bath, but its also the end of their country.

Heroic Victory! ZNF has done it! Not only did he give a bloodbath where he literally lost half of his army, but he got declared a Hero for it! ZNF has made his peace with the Gods of the game. ...Or so he thinks.

Sorry, I missed the screenshot of the post-battle stats. ZNF has like 600 guys left, and Poland has been completely destroyed! Now, just gotta take care of Courland, and turn my sights towards Austria.

I want Courland to declare war on me, rather than the other way around (for image purposes), so I threaten them to give me gold. They refuse, but don't declare war.

Meanwhile, in Austria, stacks. Hopefully they will give me a fun slugging match!

Russia sends an envoy, with a very odd offer. They want me to trade one of my Polish Territories for one of theirs, plus two of their technologies! Sounds like a great deal, doesn't it?

Until I look at WHERE their territory is that they are offering. Deep within the heart of Russia, practically as far away from me as I can possibly get. No way, fuck you Russia.

In more good news, War beings between Austria and France. Should make conquering Austria a bit easier.

I give up trying to get Courland to declare war on me, so I just declare on them. They are the protectorate of "Wurtemberg", which apparently is some really tiny country in the middle of Europe. IDK how they became a protectorate, but whatever.

So ZNF marches on Courland. They have an army stationed on a bridge, on the border of their country and Estonia. ZNF will have to take this bridge in order to march on the city itself. ZNF doesn't care to replenish his armies, and goes in with the 600 surviving troops he has.