[Let's Play] Empire: Total War - Page 3

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Sentenal

United States12398 Posts

June 28 2012 14:05 GMT

#41

Part 13

General ZNF prepares to invade Courland. And this battle offers something new. A river and bridge.

A river and a bridge would have been interesting features for this map, except the inital enemy force isn't even in place to defend it. Their fortifications are on the other side of the river, on the far East side of the map, while I'm right next to the bridge on the West side.

The main threat of this battle is the enemy reinforcements.

With the main threat being sufficiently far away, it gives ZNF enough time to have his army cross the bridge. This thing would have been a bitch to cross if the enemy had bothered to defend it.

When my forces cross, we are met with their cavalry. ZNF hurries to form battle lines.

One regiment is hit by the cavalry, however, cavalry sucks in this game.

Several of ZNF's infantry regiments are extremely depleted, but they form up to meet the enemy anyway. However, they are all veterans, so hopefully that makes up for lack of numbers.

Rather than line up and shoot at me, the Courland army charges my lines and begins a melee.

This battle could be worse, if their front lines decided to shoot at me rather than charge me. They would have gotten a decent arc on my front lines, and caught them in a crossfire.

During all of the fighting, a stray bullet finds the enemy General, and kills him.

My lines hold, and the Courland army routes. ZNF will be the victor.

ZNF leads his own unit out, and flanks one of the last remaining infantry regiments. With this charge, combined with the beating they had taken, the enemy routes.

ZNF repeats the same move against another remaining infantry regiment. They route as well. ZNF's ego swells.

All that is left is to take out these cannons, and the battle is over.

Heroic Victory. Two heroic victories in a row. This, combined with his own madness, convinces ZNF that he is a warrior general, whom none can stand against. After all, look at the mountain of bodies he left at Riga, or his brave charges here.

ZNF marched on Riga with 1200 men under his command. Now, two battles later, that number is 300.

Only looking at his stack, and not how many men he actually has, ZNF besieges Jelgava, capitol of Courland. However, before he starts the attack, he sees that he barely has any men. So he continues the siege, and summons some reinforcements from Lithuania.

It is a grim day.

The city itself is mostly defended by Firelock Armed Citizens, however, they have reinforcements, the remnants of the army ZNF had just defeated, who are actual troops. Unfortunately, there is no way for ZNF to defeat one before they can link up.

The armed citizens man the walls, and get ready for ZNF's attack.

Armed citizens sit there while my cannons make their walls explode, sending them flying into the air to their death.

With their walls in pieces, they march out to meet my army.

Lines are formed, and ZNF's troops open fire.

This opening volley kills the enemy general!

Combined, all 9 of my Line Infantry Regiments add up to be about the numbers of 2 fresh regiments. However, clumped up, they are easily able to deal with Courland's numbers.

And the enemy begins to route.

Through one of the holes in the wall, the Courland Reinforcements finally enter the fight. Looking for blood, ZNF charges his own unit to help the Militia holding the line against them.

Little did ZNF know, there was one dude who was just chillin on the wall. The wall to either side of him is destroyed. The wall section he is standing on is technically destroyed too. So he will be up there for the rest of his life, until the day he dies. A lonely death, surrounded by the bodies of his comrades... He resolves that he will not die in vain! He takes up his rifle, points it down at the troops below him, and fires!

Awawawawawawa gomen nasai. And so ends ZNF's Happy Funtime Adventure... ZNF is killed heroically in battle. The gods of the game laugh. However, even with his death, this battle's outcome is decided. ZNF will have victory, even in death.

A heroic victory.

In one of his least costly victories ever, ZNF managed to die conquer Courland, at the cost of his own life. Yes, I meant to type the previous sentence like that.

And now this is the second time I've had a General die under my command. RIP, ZNF.

Courland has been conquered. Everything I wanted to do in the East is now finished, so I need to try and secure my Eastern Border.

This little map in the upper right shows what I need for my victory conditions. I've gone too far East! Practically everything I need is South West. But its okay, that's the direction I'm intending to go now.

Here is the prestige rankings for the Major nations. I'm winning. #2 is my ally, Great Britain. Then Spain. I should probably try to make friends with Spain too. Austria is in the top 10, but they are pretty weak compare to me. I'm the most militarily powerful country in the world, and also the most enlightened. However, my economy apparently sucks dick.

Diplomacy time! First, the Ottomans for some reason really like me. So I want to cement this relationship by forming a formal alliance with them. However, they are protecting those annoying Barbary States...

Meh, whatever, they are a world anyway. I'll ally with them so they will stop bugging me.

Peace is made, time to ally with the Ottomans!

I propose the alliance, and the Ottomans agree, and ally with me.

Meanwhile, I want to ally the Russians. Step one for this is trade, so I make a trade agreement with them.

FUCK YOU RUSSIA. Look at these bastards! No sooner than I make a trade deal with them, do they act like LOL IM GONNA DECLARE WAR ON U, PROBLEM? Fuck these guys. I DON'T WANT TO INVADE RUSSIA. I gotta go WEST, not EAST. Mark my words, Russia. When I have the rest of my objective points, I'm going to invade you. I'm going to crush you. Maybe I won't be alive when I finally do it, but my heir will do it. You are gonna get fucked.

TBone-

United States2309 Posts

June 28 2012 19:02 GMT

#42

I would really enjoy a stream of this. Actually, I don't think anyone streams total war games. I'd love to watch if you could.

Nagisama

Canada4481 Posts

June 28 2012 21:22 GMT

#43

poor znf, RIP.

EchOne

United States2906 Posts

June 28 2012 21:36 GMT

#44

Fucking guy stuck on a wall. He should've crumbled along with the stone.

Sentenal

United States12398 Posts

June 29 2012 15:44 GMT

#45

Part 14

Russia declared war on me, and sent in a small raiding party to burn my villages and farms. What dicks.

WreakHavoc marches out to meet them. There is a big difference in battle power, so I just auto-resolve.

Now just have to auto-resolve a mop-up battle, and this Russian army will be done for. Hopefully after this, Russia will just keep to themselves for a while.

Meanwhile, I'm going to be invading Austria soon. However, there is a problem with just outright declaring war on Austria. Austria is allied to Great Britain. If I just declare war on Austria, odds are Britain would cancel our alliance. So, I gotta get Austria to declare war on ME. To do so, I'm going to have to pick a fight with one of Austria's allies. I choose Bavaria. But thats still in a few turns. First I want to con them.

They go through alot of offers and counter-offers, but eventually settle on this. Alot better than I hoped! Gimme money!

Since my con went better than I hoped, I just declare war on them after they give me 600 gold. Time to invade Austria. My 3 Generals launch a massive invasion of Austria on all fronts.

Prague is the nearest to my borders, so Nagisama's is first. Nagisama, in the years Nagisama has been idle, his "Happy Drinker" trait turned to Drunken. Drunken is bad, like -2 moral or something. Oh well. The following is going to be one of the biggest battles I've fought.

But before I do, the game so far as been too easy, so lets crank the difficulty up as high as it can go.

Nagisama arranges his forces, and gets ready for battle.

The enemy has their fortifications set. The question is, will they just camp there, or will they come at Nagi?

They are on the move, swinging south, trying to get around me.

They try a cavalry charge, but like always, they get demolished because cavalry sucks in this game.

The cavalry attacks my lines, but they didn't pull off a flank. Also, someone forgot to tell the Austrians that Nagisama has the Rosenritter on his side.

Their fixed artillery is unable to move, so my units hit their cannons, and route them.

In the South, Nagisama forms battlelines, but the forces he sent after the artillery get attacked by more cavalry. However, the Rosenritter is there, so its k.

Meanwhile, my main line begins to meet the Austria forces. I make an attack on the last remaining artillery placement, this one which happens to be defended by their main force.

My guys from earlier finish with those cavalry units quickly due to the Rosenritter, so swing around and hit their flank.

The battle now will come down to who can not die the most.

In either a show of bravery, or a complete lack of confidence, the Austrians charge my Left Wing for a melee.

However, my lines hold, and repel the Austrians.

Meanwhile, the Rosenritter march across the field and engage the enemy on the West lines.

And the Rosenritter take the head of the Enemy General.

With much of their forces demolished, the remaining Austrian troops for a box formation, but nothing can save them.

The Austrians are in a complete route.

And Nagisama claims the first victory in the Austrian campaign, capturing the city of Prague.

Even with the difficulty cranked up to max, that was easy. Nagisama's army is still massive, and almost full strength.

Meanwhile, with my army being as large as it is, I need more income. I send an Envoy to the United Provinces (which I think is the Netherlands?), and arrange a trade deal. They are a major power, so this should be pretty good for the future.

WreakHavoc invades Transylvania, but his army is large, so they aren't able to besiege the city yet.

The same with Kaal, on his march to Hungary. Come Winter, both the cities, and the Austrian Capitol, will be under siege.

End turn, the United Provinces send me an envoy. They want a military alliance, and some other shit. Other shit, as in, things I don't want to give up/don't care for.

I counter-offer with just an alliance, and they agree.

Meanwhile, the last surviving Austrian General, Emnjay, takes a band of units and seemingly flees into the wilderness. What a coward. From what I can tell of Austria's remaining lands, is their other General, Prince something something, is dead. IDK if from battle, assassination, or natural causes, but he is nowhere to be found.

It is now Winter, 1720, and WreakHavoc has besieged Klausenburg, Transylvania.

Their battle strength was so tiny, I auto-resolved it and captured the city.

Kaal finally reaches Hungary, and besieges the city. However, Hungary and Vienna are right next to each other, and their close proximity allows one city to help defend the other. Kaal would be massively outnumbered if he charges the city now. Nagisama, however, is on the march again. If Nagisama is able to besiege Vienna at the same time, both cities will be locked in, and neither can help with each other's defense. So Kaal waits a bit for Nagi to march.

Nagisama finally reaches Vienna, and besieges the city. Now they are both locked in.

Without the aid of reinforcements, Kaal demands a surrender of Hungary.

They refuse. So, that means its time to assault the city. Hungary is one of the key cities of Austria, and if this city falls, then practically the entire country falls.

Kaal prepares his forces to storm the city.

The enemy is manning their walls, and ready themselves for Kaal's attack.

The enemy placed their artillery outside the walls so they could shell me, so Kaal orders his cavalry to run them down.

Hoping to blow up alot of the Austrian defenders, Kaal brings down a corner section of wall, however didn't get the results he wanted.

Spiderman time.

What wall?

In response to scaling the city's wall, the Austrians march their cavalry out of the gates, in order to stop me.

But it is too late, as my guys have reached the top of the walls, and engaged the enemy.

The battle is fully underway up top, and the cavalry that funneled through the gates are routed.

The Austrians are unable to hold, and being to route.

When the gates come under my control, Kaal orders his own cavalry to storm the city.

Cavalry on one side, and infantry streaming over the castle walls on the other seals the fate of the defenders.

There are only a few regiments of Austrians left, and they huddle in a Box Formation for cover.

But Kaal's troops on the city walls open fire on them, as my cavalry charges them. Kaal remarks that ZNF was a fool to shoot down all the walls at Riza, when he could have just done this and had an easy victory.

And the city falls. Hungary is now under Kaal's control.

Although the city fell, it was a costly battle. Kaal lost over half his forces in the attempt. But didn't lose as many as ZNF LOL.

Now Nagisama prepares to storm the Austrian Capitol of Vienna. With Kaal in control of Hungary, that frees him up to assist Nagisama. The city refuses to surrender. Nagisama orders the assault.

Kaal

Djibouti2514 Posts

July 01 2012 06:55 GMT

#46

After the successful campaign against Hungary, Kaal hears the news of ZNF's death. He holds a funeral in his honor, and makes a speech.

[image loading]

We have lost a hero to our glorious and noble cause, but does this foreshadow our defeat? No. It is a new beginning. Compared to the rest of Europe the military resources of Prussia is less than one thirtieth of theirs. Despite this major difference, how is it that we have been able to fight the fight for so long? It is because our goal in this war is a righteous one. Never forget the times when the rest of Europe has trampled us! We, the blessed children of God almighty, have had a long and arduous struggle to achieve glory for our great nation.My beloved brother, ZergNeedsFood, was sacrificed. WHY!? Our fight is sacred, our cause divine. The war is at a stalemate. Perhaps many of you have become complacent.

Europe has polluted our most cherished systems for merely the sake of their own greed! We must send them a message, but not composed of words. We have wasted too much time with words. We need action now. The Earth elite must be taught a strong lesson for their evil corruption. This is only the beginning of our war. We have been putting more and more money into our efforts towards making our military stronger than ever. The rest of Europe has done the same.

Many of your fathers and brothers have perished valiantly in the face of a contemptible enemy. We must never forget what Europe has done to our people! These Brave men have shown us these virtues through their own valiant sacrifice. By focusing our anger and sorrow, we are finally in a position where victory is within our grasp, and once again, our most cherished nation will flourish. Victory is the greatest tribute we can pay those who sacrifice their lives for us! Rise, our people, Rise! Take your sorrow, and turn it into anger! Prussia thirsts for the strength of its people! SIEG PRUSSIA!!! SIEG PRUSSIA!!! SIEG PRUSSIA!!!

Zergneedsfood

United States10671 Posts

July 02 2012 02:08 GMT

#47

YEAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*goes back in grave*

Sentenal

United States12398 Posts

July 02 2012 21:41 GMT

#48

lol Kaal

Part 15

Hungary has fallen, and Nagisama has besieged Vienna, capitol of Austria. Nagisama's forces are ready to storm the city. Kaal has troops positioned to assist as well, arriving as reinforcements. It is winter, and in the middle of a rain storm.

The Austrians gather on their walls, and prepare to repel the invaders.

And so the march begins. Nagi's army moves towards the city walls. Kaal's forces are already arriving in the East, and they begin their march as well.

Nagi orders his cavalry to run down the Austrian artillery, who are setup outside of their walls.

When Nagi's forces get close to the gate, the Austrian cavalry comes out to greet them, but horses suck, so they get raped.

And so the both Nagi and Kaal's forces begin scaling the walls, on both ends. Nagi's men meet the majority of the Austrian defenders.

The castle grounds are swarming with enemies, and they rush up the stairs to reinforce their men who have been losing the walls.

They are routed and defeated, however.

With the stairs being held, Nagi's troops take firing positions, and rain death upon those below them.

A new fresh lot of Austrians rush up to defeat them, crawling over the bodies of the dead, but are again repelled.

During all of this fighting, the Austrian General is killed.

With the walls secure, Nagi and Kaal's forces surround whats left of the enemy, and catch them in a cross-fire.

Nagi has won the battle. The total amount of troops in the battle numbered about 2000 on the Prussian side, the most I've been able to have in a single battle thus far. With this victory, Austria has almost been completely captured. Emperor Shauni was able to escape, fleeing to their last stronghold. Vienna itself will be in termoil for a long time because LOL 30 UNREST CUZ FOREIGN OCCUPATION, so both Nagi and Kaal will have to deal with that for a while, while replenishing enough troops to finish the job. Havoc for the meantime remains in Transylvania, ready to march East or West, depending on who needs help.

Right now, I'm having some money issues. With much of Vienna's infastructure in flame, and me having tons of armies, I'm barely breaking even, and not generating enough money to repair Vienna's shit. Repairing Vienna's shit will make me rich, but I need money in order to do that. So, I become a Democrat, lower taxes on the poor so they won't get pissed, and tax the evil rich!

I need monies, so I send an Envoy to Spain, and ask for trade. They agree.

I do the same to Denmark, and they also agree.

Then I send an envoy to some country in India, and setup another trade agreement. These new trade deals, plus raised taxes on the evil rich, will help me get enough money to repair Vienna. Then I can change the taxes back to what they were.

Then, Randomly, Venice declares war on me. WHY. FUCK YOU VENICE.

General Emnjay, rather than defend his own lands, choose to lead a small army into Poland. He lacks the forces to capture any city. So he has decided just to become a raider, and has been running around the country-side, burning villages, farms, and tons of stuff. And with most of Prussia's armies away, there is only militia to stop him. A young man steps up to the plate to defeat him. He is EchoTwo, son of the war hero, EchOne. It has been over 15 years since his father has died, giving his life for Prussia. Now his son wishes to follow his father, fighting for the glory of Prussia. With only a shitty group of Militia, EchoTwo confronts Emnjay. Numbers are clearly in EchoTwo's favor, but Echo's numbers are also just shitty Militia.

EchoTwo's forces get ready to march.

Emnjay's forces are on the defensive, setup on top of a hill. The enemy is advancing, but Emnjay apparently is able to resist his urge to run away.

"I gotta be brave!" Emnjay tells himself. "Afterall, I have a mustashe and a hat."

And so the battle begins. The front lines begin exchanging fire, while Echo makes use of his superior numbers, and begins to encircle the enemy.

Emnjay is completely surrounded. Even against lesser militia, can his forces win if surrounded? No. Emnjay's horse unit begins to run away, to get away from the fighting. The militia however swarm his horse unit and begin a melee.

And Emnjay is killed! EchoTwo has succeeded where Nagisama failed nearly a decade ago.

With their general dead, and the fact that they are surrounded, the enemy breaks and attempts to flee.

And EchoTwo wins his first battle!

Echo only lost about 50 militia men against the enemy. Not only was it his first victory, he barely lost any men on his side!

It begins. The first of many rebellions in Austria.

Meanwhile, Spazer inflitrates a Catholic Church. His mission: Kill all the Terraist.

And Spazer succeeds at brutally stabbing to death the first priest.

Kaal marches on the Austria rebel army. With this difference in strength, its hardly even a battle, so autoresolve.

And they are crushed.

Spazer goes to assassinate his next target. I didn't catch the screen, but he failed this time.

Nagi marches on another Rebel Austria army. Again, huge difference in battle power. Auto-resolve.

Nagisama wins! However, Nagisama gained the trait "Rumors of Cowardice" from this battle, while Kaal gained the trait "Hero of the Army"! Nagi can handle being called a drunkard, but not drunk coward! He declares that he will prove these rumors false! Nagisama has to pursue the remaining enemy, and whip them out.

Spazer attempts to murder the priest again.

After this one is murdered, I discovered that I can just dismantle the Catholic Church since I own the region. Spazer won't get to stab the last remaining priest to death :<

Nagisama tracks down the remaining enemy, and engages them. Auto-resolve.

Again! Must kill the last 16 people!

The nation ~~rejoices~~mourns for at the death of my Chief Justice. Caller has died of old age, never once being allowed to suicide an army of cavalry. He took the grudge to his death, insisting that because you can do it in Shogun 2, you can do it in this game.

EchOne

United States2906 Posts

July 02 2012 22:03 GMT

#49

I would give a funeral speech for Caller but I'm too busy counseling my son as a ghost.

Kaal

Djibouti2514 Posts

July 03 2012 02:47 GMT

#50

I never liked that asshole.

Emnjay808

United States10655 Posts

July 03 2012 04:42 GMT

#51

Mfw mustache and hat...

I didnt even go out in a glorious way, I started to run. T_T

Bluelightz

Indonesia2463 Posts

July 03 2012 04:53 GMT

#52

On July 03 2012 13:42 Emnjay808 wrote:
Mfw mustache and hat...

I didnt even go out in a glorious way, I started to run. T_T

Don't worry..... all the blame lies in the mysterious being called the..... "AI"

Anyway, nice taking the city C=

Sentenal

United States12398 Posts

July 05 2012 13:27 GMT

#53

Part 16

One of my fears is beginning to be realized. Russia, who just randomly declared war on me, has finally started getting active on my border. This army isn't enough to really capture any cities, but I've let mostly militia over in the Poland to defend it. If they come with a bigger stack, I might be in for some trouble.

Intending to prove he is no coward, Nagisama marches on the last Austrian city in Croatia. With Emnjay having marched off to his doom in the Polish wilderness, and their other General having died at some point, Emperor Shauni had no choice but to promote a new General. This time he brings out the True Keeper of Lolis, Ferrose, to defend the city and his life. Nagi may have been in too much of a rush to attack the city, as he is vastly outnumbered, and the city is walled. So Nagi simply besieges the city, while I prepare to send him some reinforcements.

Looks like I remembered wrong. This church is in the process of burning down, but it wasn't instant. Spazer gets a chance to kill the last Catholic Priest at it, before the place is dismantled.

And it worked! Spazer bathed in the blood of this last catholic priest. Now he can't wait until the way to Rome is open, so he can take a shot at the Pope.

Ferrose has no intention of letting Nagi sit around and wait for reinforcements. While I'll have some people to send Nagi at the start of my next turn, Ferrose attacks out to break the siege.

Nagisama's army is encamped on a hill outside the city. A fence has been setup on the hill, allowing for some defenses for his troops.

Ferrose starts marching his troops out from in and around the city.

Nagi gets his army setup in their defenses, but Ferrose threatens to completely surround him. Nagi's army is mostly line infantry, and many of his regiments have been smashed and only have 20 or so men in them now. On the other than, the enemy has many full units, except they are all lower quality units like cavalry, or firelock citizens.

One of Nagi's strong regiments is his Rosenritter, so the cavalry won't be much of a problem at all. Ferrose's Cavalry moves to flank Nagi's positions, but Nagi responds by having the Rosenritter defend that flank.

The Rosenritter slaughters the enemy cavalry, while the Austrian rifles close in on his position.

While one regiment of horse is getting raped, Ferrose launches a frontal assualt on a weak part of his line.

A huge melee begins there, but the Rosenritter also join that fight.

The enemy Cavalry have been routed, but now the next test arrives. Now it will come to guns.

And so the battle begins. Not wanting to just sit back and shoot me with firelock citizenry, my lines are swarmed into a melee.

After a fight, the Firelock citizens show their quality, and flee from battle. Now all that is left is to chase them down.

All of Nagisama's cavalry spring to action, and begin running down routing enemy troops.

Since Ferrose lead the charge out of the city, winning this battle doesn't mean I've taken it. Afterwards, remaining troops will gather back in the city walls. Nagi pursues them to kill as many as he possibly can before the battle is finished.

And a Decisive Victory.

Nagi lost around 20% of his forces in that battle, while Ferrose lost nearly 80%. I won't even need to wait for reinforcements to take the city now.

Meanwhile, Vienna has come under siege. The army is from some tiny Germany country, Wurtemberg, that declared war against a while back. They were the ones who were the random protectors of Courland. WreakHavoc is marching West, so he and Kaal will be able to handle them.

Also, one of my rakes, Ushio, was executed. It appears that not all of my rakes can be as good as Spazer.

Nagisama now gets ready to storm Zagreb. After the last battle, the tables have turned. Should be a very easy battle. Ferrose refuses to surrender.

Its a blizzard out, but Nagisama doesn't care. This battle is gonna be ezpz.

The tiny amount of troops remaining man the walls, and get as ready as they can be.

Nagi shoots a hole in their wall.

And their troops try to attack out to push me back.

However, Nagi's troops kill alot of them, so they route.

They hold for a little bit at their bottleneck where Nagi shot a hole in their wall, but with the Gate mine, I'm able to surround them. The Rosenritter move around their flanks, and seals Ferrose's defeat.

And Nagi wins a Heroic Victory.

Nagi has finally crushed Austria. And in the final battle, lost very few troops in doing so.

And now Austria has been completely destroyed. One of the great European Powers, destroyed by me in my quest to destroy Europe. Will the be the last? No, fuck that. Nagisama had Emperor Shauni captured and beheaded, and then sent his decapitated head back to me in Berlin. As for Ferrose, who survived combat twice, I guess Nagisama just took pity on a fellow pedophile, and allowed him to live.

Havoc finally arrives, and engages the army from Wurtemberg that besieged Vienna. They are lead by iky43210. iky43210 has been quoted as saying "wtf do people need legs for? half the time they don't even use them. And why do they need heads? That just makes for increased air resistance." Due to this strange philosophy of his, his army is almost entirely cannons.

Havoc, who is a bro, just engages and auto-resolves against these noobs. Barely any of them survive.

With the Wurtemberg army taken care of, Havoc marches on a new Austrian rebel army.

With both Kaal and Nagi in reinforcement range, this battle is too far in my favor, so I just auto-resolve, and the rebels are crushed.

Nagisama engages iky43210's army, and gets ready to wipe it out. All that is left is his own unit and some cannons. Not even a proper battle.

Although he lost more people than he killed, Nagisama crushed the the Wurtemberg army.

Meanwhile, in Poland, a Russian army is getting a little too close to my cities. A Militia leader named Elem the Black marches on one of their armies.

Auto-resolve, and Elem wins and repels them.

An Ottoman army enters Croatia, and looks like they are heading towards Venice. It would be cool if they took out Venice for me.

And now a legit Russian stack appears. While not the size of the armies that fought in the Austrian War, this Russian stack poses a serious threat to my cities in the East. Russia cannot be ignored, and now that Austria has been captured, I can't devote all of my Generals to that area anymore. I order Kaal to bring me the Russian Tzar's head, and Kaal begins his long march East. Now time to show Napoleon and Hitler how its done, in invading Russia.

The Russian army finally arrives and besieges my city in Belarus. Defended by militia and some firelock citizens, this looks to be a hard battle. These units all suck. Going to have to make sure my flanks are really secure. If there is one thing cavalry is good at in this game, other than chasing routing troops, its making shitty units like militia and firelock citizens route. Elem will have a true test coming up. Can he hold the city?

EchOne

United States2906 Posts

July 05 2012 15:36 GMT

#54

LOL iky's mass cannons. You don't need legs and heads in war, just guns! A whole fuckton of really big guns!

KazeHydra

Japan2788 Posts

July 05 2012 16:07 GMT

#55

On July 06 2012 00:36 EchOne wrote:
LOL iky's mass cannons. You don't need legs and heads in war, just guns! A whole fuckton of really big guns!

LOL but if the guns are too big, they just make for bigger targets. A strange philosophy indeed.

Spazer

Canada8031 Posts

July 06 2012 03:04 GMT

#56

Blood for the Blood God

Bring it, Pope.

Sentenal

United States12398 Posts

July 06 2012 15:29 GMT

#57

Part 17

Elem readies his absolute shit units in the city. The enemy is far superior to his guys, and if he wants to stand a chance, he is going to need a very good defense, with no holes for the enemy to flank.

Elem sends some regiments of troops to garrison some buildings in the middle of town. Others, he has them line each street, to prevent anyone from getting through.

And then the cavalry comes. And thanks to Empire: Total War AI, the troops in the buildings make their horses bug the fuck out!

So they all sit there while Elem's dudes shoot them.

Meanwhile, their infantry approaches. The main test of this battle is about to start.

Both sides shoot each other alot, but thankfully, with superior positioning, Elem is able to turn the enemy.

And then the next wave comes.

However, at this point, it looks like it will be a simple matter of numbers. Elem's forces begin to encircle the remaining Russian troops.

And now the Russians flee. The battle is won.

Heroic Victory.

Elem lost a good deal of troops, but this battle could have gone 100x worse. Elem was saved due to the AI bugging out at those garrisoned buildings. A cavalry charge while fending off infantry is a good way to route militia and firelock citizens, and the buildings saved me from that.

With their main army broken, the Russians resort to simply pillaging the country side, lighting buildings on fire and burning crops.

In response to these new Hostilities, my plans against Russia are being intensified. General Kaal is already leading his army East for the Russian Invasion. Russia is really, really fucking big, so it is un-wise to have him do it alone. So, I commission two new Generals, and give them charge of their own armies, for the invasion of Russia.

The first is EchoTwo. He was a young man when his father died 20 years ago, but now has grown up. EchoTwo lead a militia band in the defeat of Emnjay, and now has been promoted to General. Beginning as a 6 Star General, his career looks bright. He is a Confident General from the beginning, and a Soldier from Birth, largely due to his Father's influence. Also hes a Prussian Junker, whatever the fuck that is. I think its a positive trait, though.

The next is Elem the Black. Elem's recent victory over the Russians at Minsk gained him some fame, and was decided to give him command of the sweep of Northern Russia. While he lacks the raw talent and training as Echo, he still seems better qualified for the job than ZNF was, as he starts as a 4 Star General. He is a happy drinker (positive trait), which his men like. Elem needs to stay busy, however, or he may fall like Nagisama has, and become Drunken (negative trait). Also, he is a Prussian Junker, which again, I have no clue what that is. Oh yeah, Elem is also black.

Kaal's long march East is hindered. A rebellion sprang up in Transylvania. Kaal moves to crush it.

Auto-resolve, get crushed.

All that remains is to mop-up.

And they are finished off.

Meanwhile, back in Vienna, another rebellion beings. I really hate capturing capitols.

Before I can actually invade Russia, something needs to be done about all these raiding parties in Poland. So Elem marches out with his militia, and engages one band.

Auto-resolve, punting them away.

EchoTwo receives the punt, and gets ready to finish them off.

And they are finished.

Meanwhile, Nagisama marches on the Austrian rebels.

And he crushes this rebellion. Hopefully, after crushing rebellions year after year, Nagisama will stop being a drunkard.

Meanwhile, Havoc finally launches his new campaign to the West. He invades Bavaria with all his strength. However, there are two big stacks at Munich. There is the Bavarian Garrison, along with a Wurtemberg army.

Meanwhile, in AMERICA, some Indians get raped and forced onto reservations in order to make millions of dollars on casinos.

An Army from Venice invades, and occupies on of my Austrian Ports. Nagisama responds, and marches on their forces.

Their tiny army is unable to stand up to Nagisama's strength, and is driven out. Nagisama really wants to invade Venice at this point, and put an end to them, however the threat of Rebellion in Austria is too much, and he is ordered to continue protecting the area.

Havoc finally besieges Munich. However, the difference in numbers is huge. Havoc's forces number 1300, which is a respectable army size, but the enemy in total is over 2000. Rather than risk an attack on the city, Havoc resorts to a different tactic. He encamps his army outside the city, and begins tactics to try and lure the enemy out.

And it works. The enemy garrison is drawn out, and will attack Havoc. Now if Havoc can simply defeat them outside their walls, he can take the city at his leisure.

Havoc readies his men on a hill just outside of town. He has them setup in a huge defensive line, with every flank guarded. Behind them Havoc has his artillery ready, and will finally make good use of some cannister rounds or whatever that spread shot it.

And here comes the Baravians. They are the less threatening force, composed of mostly firelock citizens, but also some regulars among their troops.

Arriving as reinforcements, the Wurtemberg army arrives. They are almost all line infantry, with some cavalry mixed in. They are the big fish, in terms of enemies at least.

And the enemy closes in. The Wurtemberg cavalry is the first, but with no openings in Havoc's defenses, they are shot to pieces.

The battle proper beings. The Baravians form battle lines, and engage Havoc's infantry. However, Havoc's Line Infantry rape their shit, while his spread shot artillery literally blows holes in their lines.

The Baravians are almost at their limit, but as they reach it, Wurtemberg's army gets close.

Not being able to hold the line, the Baravians route.

More Wurtemberg cavalry run to their doom, looking for holes, but only finding bullets.

Havoc orders his own cavalry in, chasing down the routing Baravians. He himself helps lead the chase.

The Wurtemberg army arrives. Part 2 of the battle is about to begin.

Wurtemberg charges my lines, hoping to break me.

But Havoc's army is an army full of Veterans, with superior defenses, and a great general. They easily throw the enemy back.

Look at these cowards run!

Meanwhile, some horses just pass by my dudes and not a single fuck was given.

With both enemy armies in shambles, Havoc's forces begin their march, to finish them off.

Heroic Victory.

In one of his biggest victories ever, Havoc defeated both armies, killing 1600 men out of 2200, while only losing 300 of his own. Munich is as good as mine now, Havoc simply needs to storm it, and take care of the few surviving men.

Havoc gets ready to storm the city. He demands a surrender, but they refuse.

The snow has already started fallen, now that preparations for attack have been finish. Havoc gets his forces ready.

He shoots a hole in the wall, and positions his men to go through. He has his men play it safe, and rather than filter through a tiny hole, to stand there and exchange fire with the other side first.

After opening up another hole in the wall, Havoc sends troops through it, looking to encircle all the defending enemies on the inside.

Havocs troops are in, and form battle lines. The city is all but captured.

Meanwhile, a cool group of 5 dudes stand around and watch Havoc take the city.

Perhaps they are drunk, but they get the idea in their head that they should go and stop me from capturing the city. I have the capture circle, and they just need to hold that! So they run and run!

But they don't make it. Heroic Victory. Havoc is so amused by this drunken band of dudes that he has them beheaded, and sticks their heads on a spike on the city gates.

Munich is captured, and with very little loss of life on my end.

And the yearly Austrian rebellion.

Meanwhile, back in Poland, Elem finally is getting a proper army around him. He gathers together his troops, and takes care of a Russian raiding party.

And, just like last time, Echo is there to finish the deal. Echo also is forming his own army around him now. Soon, both Echo and Elem will have the strength to help with the invasion of Russia. Kaal's army is now in Poland, and close to making his first move.

Kaal finally invades the Ukraine, and besieges Kiev. The city is barely defended at all. Kaal demands their surrender, lest he burn the city and kill everyone inside it.

They shit their pants, and surrender. And thus, the conquest of Russia begins.

The Russian Line Infantry that was just outside of town is caught in the ass by Kaal's army. Apparently they didn't expect the city to just surrender.

And they are defeated. With the capture of Kiev, the incursions into Poland should probably stop soon. Kaal will get ready to march on Moscow, with all the strength of his army. EchoTwo will be charged with sweeping the south of Russia, and driving the Russians out of all the areas around the Black Sea. Elem is ordered to sweep their north, going through St. Petersberg and the lands bordering Sweden. While it is important to capture each city, King Sentenal tells them their objective is NOT the conquest of Russia, but the Destruction of Russia's government. These bitches will pay for refusing my friendship, and randomly declaring war on me.

EchOne

United States2906 Posts

July 06 2012 16:17 GMT

#58

Rofl Five Guys.

Sentenal

United States12398 Posts

July 09 2012 20:15 GMT

#59

Part 18

Okay, so last time Havoc was leading the invasion of the Lesser German states in the West, Kaal and my two new generals were invading Russia, and Nagisama was in charge of keeping Austria under control. Austria rebels all the fucking time, so Nagi keeps having to fight these guys.

And just auto-resolve these battles. Its a really annoying mechanic in this game.

Nagi was unable to kill them all, and can't catch up, so gonna have to finish them in winter.

Die.

And they die.

Except not really!!! Still alive!!! Fuck these guys! They die for realz this time.

EchoTwo has finally started his march towards Russia. Both he and Elem have about 900 men under their command. Echo was able to intercept a Russian raiding party on his march. With this, hopefully it will be the last Russian raiding party that is able to make it into Poland.

Havoc, meanwhile, is mopping up troops around Munich. The Bavarians are broken, their capitol is lost. Their only remaining territory is the Rhineland, which they took from Hannover, who conquered it decades ago.

Kaal's march has brought him straight to Moscow. The Russian army here is really weak. Almost entirely firelock citizens. Kaal pauses to wonder what the fuck such a big, weak country like this is doing, picking a fight with Prussia, when they can't even defend their capitol. Auto-resolve, and Moscow falls.

Meanwhile, the Mughal Empire is destroyed. They were some Indian country. We were trading partners I think, so I'm gonna have to find someone new soon.

I send an Envoy to Sweden for trade. They agree.

Finally, Elem the Black arrives at St. Petersburg. His sweep of North Russia is about to begin. Numbers wise, Elem is outnumbered, but half of their dudes are firelock armed citizens. Should be ok.

Elem demands their surrender, but they refuse.

The Russians take positions on the opposite side of the city to the West. Elem takes position on the East.

The Russians start running around, moving towards the South.

Elem's Line Infantry move that way as well, while he sends his militia units through the city to attack the Russian cannons.

The Russian cannons get caught alone, and are fucked.

Meanwhile, Elem's line infantry units catch some Russian horse in the field.

The Russians are very disorderly, and Elem's infantry begin to pound them.

There are infantry to the main line's rear, but Elem has his reserves take care of them. The Russian main lines begins to weaken, and break, as Militia units finally come up on their rear.

With an attack from two sides, the Russians won't last much longer.

And the Russians start to flee.

During the fighting, the Russian General is killed.

Heroic Victory. St. Petersburg is now mine.

Elem the Black lost only about 200 men, compared to all 1k people on the Russian side. A good victory for the start of his conquest.

Meanwhile, in the South, in Crimea, EchoTwo's army is met by a Russian army of equal strength. Seems the Russians intended to start a counter attack from the South. Maybe this is their last strong city?

Echo readies his troops. The Russians will be coming soon. He places his new horse cannon dude in the center. Maybe since I can actually move them now, cannons will become useful in battle! So far I've only been able to make use of them on the defensive, or in sieges.

Russian AI suicides their cavalry.

While the main Russian lines march up, whats left of their cavalry run around and try for a flank. Echo reorganizes his troops to respond.

They hold them off, and the line battles begin.

Meanwhile, Echo puts his cavalry into play, sending them to chase down routing troops. Gotta kill as many of them as possible, to make the eventual siege of Crimea's capitol easier.

And the Russians break before Echo's army.

With only their cannons left, who were firing these cool "we burst into big ass flames and do no damage" shells, the remaining Russians are mopped up. Heroic Victory for EchoTwo.

Most of the Russian army lay dead, and Echo still has most of his army. The march continues.

Echo catches the remnants of the army he just defeated, and wipes them out.

Meanwhile, Kaal is trying to get Moscow under control. While the goal of this invasion is the destruction of Russia's government, that also involves not letting them take back control of Moscow. Kaal will stay in this area for another year or so, to get things in order. Kaal marches out to defeat a small Russian army.

A rebellion in Muscovy. This is where Moscow is. Also one in Austria. I really hate national capitols.

EchoTwo finally reaches the regional capitol of Crimea, somereallylongweirdassnamethatimnotgonnatype. And EchoTwo begins his first siege! Echo's army is much more powerful, so this shouldn't be tough.

Echo demands a surrender, but they refuse. Time to storm the city.

Echo deploys his forces North of the city. This area may be Russian, but certainly doesn't look it. Echo laughs at Havoc's misfortune, of having to sweep Northern Russia's cold wilderness, while he gets flat grasslands.

Even cities down here look different than what I expect. This looks like it would fit better in the middle east.

Echo opens fire with his cannons. The battle begins.

Through a side gate, the Russians send out their cavalry.

Echo sends his own spear cavalry after them, and routes them easily.

Apparently this was the general's bodyguard unit, and they are fucked.

Meanwhile, Echo's infantry have closed in on the city, and are spider-manning up the walls.

The Russians sneak yet another cavalry unit out, this time they are going straight for Echo's bodyguard unit! Defend yourself, EchoTwo!

Echo's unit is directly attacked, and his Lancer Cavalry are slow in getting there.

But Echo's unit wins, and routes the enemy cavalry! EchoTwo resolves not to meet his end as early as his Father did.

Meanwhile, on the walls, the melee is growing. Prussian Infantry are growing in numbers on the wall, and the Russians are beginning to get overwhelmed.

There are melees all over it, especially on the stairs of the wall.

Prussian units successfully surround their defenders, and take control of the gate.

Surrounded, it is only a matter of time before the wall is completely Echo's.

Elsewhere, infantry on top of the wall take up firing positions, and being killing those below them.

With the Walls and Gates under my control, Echo's men march into the castle, form firing lines, and begin shooting the remaining enemies.

Somehow, that was a close victory. Whatever.

Crimea is now mine! After all of these battles, EchoTwo's strenght is about half of what it was originally, so he will take a short break to replenish his numbers, and then continue his march. Half of Russia is now mine. This is how Hitler should have done it. Russia too ez.

Nagisama

Canada4481 Posts

July 12 2012 17:20 GMT

#60

I appear to have lost 1 unit of my Rosenritter, sad.

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