[Let's Play] Empire: Total War

Sentenal

United States12398 Posts

June 18 2012 06:14 GMT

As suggested by GMarshal, I'm going to be condensing my "Let's Play" of Empire: Total War into one topic here, so I don't flood the blogs section.

First off, I think I need to do something about my current chief Justice. Zeke is kinda a noob. At least he isn't as nooby as the guy for the Navy, but hes still pretty nooby. I need to bring in someone to dispense indiscriminate justice, and according to #tladt, Caller is a good choice for that. However, this was just a prelude to something that I have been dreading...

Austria declares war. Why? I have no fucking clue. Fuck them. Emperor Shauni of Austria must really hate me making Caller Chief Justice.

However, all isn't that bad in 1704. Warsaw may be in the shitter, and Austria may have declared war on me, but I had a daughter, Harem! She's really adorable.

And on a practically unrelated note, Crimean Khanate has been destroyed. I have no idea where that is, but someone out there is wiping countries off the map, like what I did to Saxony.

It has been half a year since General EchOne died, and his troops have finally raised up his successor. They chose WreakHavoc, who was Echo's most trusted aid and lieutenant. Looking at Havoc's traits, he isn't as good as Echo was, but he has potential. "Soldier from Birth", "A Happy Drinker", "Steady Under Fire", and "Prussian Junker" are his traits. Can he live up to his mentor?

In terms of income, I've been really poor lately. Having to replenish my troops during my conquest has cost me dearly. I'm in the positive, and money keeps coming in, but not nearly enough. I blame it all on my unfortunate autistic Lord Treasurer. Luckily, it looks like I have a great candidate to replace him with, so I fire my current one, and install Ecael as Lord Treasurer. With Caller as Chief Justice, and Ecael as my Lord Treasurer, things should start to get a little better as I secure my gains.

With Emperor Shauni having declared war, I need to do something quickly about the armies he has been gathering in Silesia. Silesia is within striking distance from almost any of my cities, and not all of them are well defended. General Kaal quickly moves in, in hopes of drawing the Austrians into the open field, rather than have one of my cities threatened.

However, it was not to be. The largest portion of the Austrian Army in Silesia, under General Emnjay, marched straight to Berlin, my capitol. At Berlin, there were barely any actual soldiers ready to defend her. About 300 Prussian Regulars were garrisoned there. Their commanding officer was simply that, a Regimental Officer who was appointed chief of the City Garrison by General Kaal, named Nagisama.

With the Austrian army marching on the city, Nagisama quickly ordered the conscription of every able-body man in the city, assembling a sizable force of Militia. However, Militia suck. They get routed really easily. All it would take would be a charge from a regiment of cavalry, or to square off against some Austrian regulars, and they would collapse. Nagisama also had no artillery support, and no horse. The battle indicator is tilted in Austria's favor. However, there are Reinforcements on the way from Dresden, but it will take time for them to arrive. Now, a lowly officer, who isn't even a General, is about to decide the fate of the Prussian Empire.

The Battle of Berlin

Nagisama musters his forces. It is Dawn when Emnjay attacks.

General Emnjay's forces make their advance, pushing up through a clearing to get to the city. Nagisama deploys his regulars in their way. While Militia suck and crumble at any attack, Prussian Regulars have their pride, and will stand and fight. And in the woods, Nagi deployed all his Militia. They know the area, and the trees will give them cover. The battle will rest on whether or not the Prussian Regulars can hold up against Emnjay's assault.

Emnjay charges his cavalry straight Prussian lines, however, musket fire mows them down, and quickly routes their charge.

With the Austria cavalry taken care of, both sides form up firing lines, and go at it.

The Prussian forces under Nagisama, with the weight of Prussia's future resting on their shoulders, rise to the challenge. They will not break!

Finally, reinforcements arrive! Victory is getting closer!

A badass regiment of Pikemen charge the Austrian South Flank. Let me repeat that. PIKE. MEN. These are dudes who fight with spears, not guns. Emnjay's forces have gotten too close to the treeline.

The Pikemen throw the Austrian forces into disarray, as they struggle to keep formation against this new assualt. The Prussian Regulars don't let up.

The Pikemen route a regiment of Austrian regulars, and the Militia of Nagisama's Right Wing move up, threatening to turn Austria's flank completely!

The beginning of the end. Most of the Austrians are in full retreat, while the Prussian lines hold.

The time to finish them off has arrived. All forces begin their advance.

This is a huge blob of units chasing Emnjay's army. Only cannons, and Emnjay's personal unit are left.

The cannons and Emnjay's units come under attack. It is only a matter of time before they break.

And they do. Unfortunately, the enemy General Emnjay, survives the battle. Without any horse to pursue, he is able to escape. However, his army is smashed, and he will be returning to Austria in shame.

Only 30 men survived the failed assault of Berlin on the Austrian side. However, Prussian forces took many loses as well, with each regiment of Riflemen being reduced to about 40% of their original strength. Nagisama's defense of Berlin earns him much fame. Maybe we will see more of this rising, talented officer, in years to come?

With Berlin secure, Kaal makes his move against Silesia. Number-wise, Kaal is even with the defending Austrians. However, they have no commanding General, not with Emnjay having been defeated and driven back into Austria. Kaal does have a great advantage. The equal numbers come from each of the Austrian units being separated in separate armies. If allowed to link together, they could be a problem, but if defeated each individually, then the battle will be much more simple.

The Battle of Silesia

Kaal assembles his forces, awaiting to strike the Austrians running to try and get back into the city.

The first group of Austrians attack, but Kaal's lines meet them.

Kaal's forces are sticking together, leaving little room for the Austrians to do anything.

Kaal's forces easily deal with the enemy.

With the first group finished, the 2nd army of Austrians advances, this time threatening to turn Kaal's flank. However, the Superior General reacts, and immediately reorganizes his lines, and gets ready to meet them.

Austrian cavalry charge Kaal's lines, while one of Kaal's slower units get brought into a melee between newly arrived forces, and remaining troops from before. However, Kaal's primary battle lines are still solid, despite these attacks.

The Austrian cavalry are routed, and the entire line reforms.

Meanwhile, another group of Austrian Horse tries to turn Kaal's flank, but Kaal's rear guard is ready, and catches them in a deadly crossfire.

Kaal's own Horse, which were in pursuit of routing enemy troops, is engaged by the 3rd and final Austrian army, and is routed.

Kaal brings up his lines, and engages the last regiments of the Austrian forces.

While the battlefield is disarray due to so many different formations of attacking units, Kaal divides his guys up, and his men fight several mini-battles at different parts of the battlefield. And eventually, the Austrians cannot hold, and their lines break.

Victory. The majority of Austrian troops in Silesia have been destroyed. King Sentenal hopes that it was most of Austria's strength, and the Battles of Berlin and Silesia will keep Austria from further actions for quiet a while.

Kaal's losses were few, especially compared to the Austrians. All that is left is to deal with the city itself, and the crucial area of Silesia will be under Prussian control.

After these victories, a new foe comes to the table. The tiny country of Westphalia declares war on me. I had to look around for where this tiny POS nation is, and its a single territory to my West, sharing a small border with Saxony. Why they want to pick a fight with me, I have no idea. I don't even want their country right now, since its surrounded on all sides by more threatening countries.

The situation in Poland got alot worse. A Polish rebellion has started. This actually is good, however. This gives me the chance to bring military action against the Polish people in Warsaw, while will counter-attack, at least somewhat, the stupid "Resistance to Foreign Occuptation" shit they have going on.

Btw Portugal got defeated

Finally, in Winter of 1704, Kaal besieges Silesia. With the Austrian forces in the area smashed, there isn't much other than militia in Kaal's path.

I don't really want to waste my time killing 4 groups of militia, so I demand their surrender. Silesia accepts my terms, and the city comes under my control.

The Austrians have been defeated, for now. Echo's victory in Warsaw has crushed the majority of Poland's army, but unrest remains. Now it will fall to Echo's successor, WreakHavoc, to supress this new Polish Rebellion, and keep the Eastern half of the Prussian Empire secure.

Gao Xi

Hong Kong5178 Posts

June 18 2012 06:20 GMT

Goddamn it nagi. Should've found a way to kill him

Emnjay808

United States10651 Posts

June 18 2012 06:38 GMT

Aww ya baby, Im on a horse ^_^

+ Show Spoiler +

ManicMarine

Australia409 Posts

June 18 2012 07:10 GMT

This is some cool Empire Total War action. Love the Total War series.

DannyJ

United States5110 Posts

June 18 2012 07:27 GMT

I didn't even like that game and this makes me want to play it.

GGTeMpLaR

United States7226 Posts

June 18 2012 07:58 GMT

Makes me want to play this game again so bad but my computer just runs Empire so slow ;/

Caller

Poland8075 Posts

June 18 2012 11:48 GMT

why the hell am i a bureaucrat

Nagisama

Canada4481 Posts

June 18 2012 19:15 GMT

On June 18 2012 15:38 Emnjay808 wrote:
Aww ya baby, Im on a horse ^_^

+ Show Spoiler +

Too bad you ran away from the fight like a coward! Face death with honor like a man!!

Sentenal

United States12398 Posts

June 18 2012 20:03 GMT

On June 18 2012 20:48 Caller wrote:
why the hell am i a bureaucrat

lol, well, I asked #tladt who was an "Honest", "Harsh Reputation", "Status Quo" "Agrarian" for my Chief Justice, and Uta suggested you. So I blame him. Also, as far as Generals go, there is a line.

Part 5

Last time, the invading Austrian forces were defeated, but a Polish Rebellion started in Warsaw. Just one thing after another. I need to get Warsaw under control, so I can continue my advance into Poland.

Look at that little bastard, just sitting there, ready to burn down the country side in the name of Independence. Its like they are the Zabi family or something. However, I have a problem. My Eastern Army is still damaged from the Battle of Warsaw. And due to my financial situation, its gonna take a little time to refill my ranks.

I don't really want to deal with Poland itself right now, so I offer them a peace treaty. Do I intend to honor it? Hell no. Poland took the life of Echo. But, in order to further the cause of crushing their entire country, it would be best to end fighting with the formally. For now.

Poland responds with a counter-offer to my simple peace treaty. LOOK AT THIS SHIT. WHAT THE FUCK. Its like they think they are winning or some shit! They want me to give up West Prussia, the territory I took at the start of the game!!! THEY DON'T EVEN ASK FOR WARSAW, THEIR FUCKING CAPITOL. This Polish leader is retarded.

My counter offer is much better. Instead of a simple peace treaty, we can have peace and them pay me for it. They reject it, however.

Meanwhile, Kaal has his forces mop up remaining Austrian troops still around. Just a cavalry unit left.

I don't want to waste my time, so I auto-resolve the battle, and they are destroyed.

Finally, Havoc meets the Rebel Polish in the Summer of 1705. This will be his first battle since Echo's death, and his first battle as General, period.

The weather isn't cooperating, and Havoc has his debut battle in a rain storm. Havoc is eager for glory, however, and gives zero fucks. As far as he is concerned, the rain will help wash the blood off his boots after he is done curb stomping them.

Visibility is poor, however, scouts reports the Rebels are marching on him.

The Rebels form a massive firing line. While they may be simple militia, they seem to have SOMEONE on their side who knows something of discipline.

Havoc responds in kind, forming his own firing lines. He plans to meet the enemy the second they emerge from the treeline.

In addition to his firing lines, Havoc sent a regiment of cavalry riding around both enemy flanks. Should the enemy be foolish enough to ignore the cavalry, when they engage Havoc's infantry, both regiments of cavalry would hit them in their flanks, which would completely crush them. However, the Polish notice them, and break their firing line up, sending a few units off after his cavalry. While it isn't the best situation he hoped for, Havoc still forced his enemy to split his forces.

The Southern Lines meet each other in battle, Havoc's Prussian Regulars engaging the Polish rebels. Havoc orders his Cavalry in on this side, hitting their flank.

This combination attack threatens to break the Polish's entire Left Wing.

And it works. The cavalry charge routes their vanguard regiment, but soon enough, Polish reserves come into play.

Elsewhere, with the Rebel's Left Wing broken and routing, the remaining forces break and run. The Rebel General is killed in battle.

Now it is just a matter of mopping up remaining troops.

Try as they might, you can't out run cavalry on foot. The rain let up finally.

Havoc's career as a General is off to a good start, marked with a decisive victory over the Polish Revolution.

Havoc's losses were tiny, especially compared to the rebels. For every 1 Prussian who died, they killed 5 rebels.

All thats left is to mop up whats left. Havoc leads them personally.

Auto-resolve battle, don't want to waste time. Havoc has successfully crushed the Polish Revolt.

Remember that one tiny newbie country that randomly declared war on me, Westphalia? Well, they might be noobs, but they have some balls. They have launched an invasion of Saxony, and have besieged the city of Dresden. Kaal is busy pacifying Silesia, and Havoc is far to the East, so the West is currently without a protector. King Sentenal, by royal decree, commissions a new General, as commander all armies in the West.

The young officer who defended Berlin from General Emnjay, Nagisama, is raised to the rank of General. While he is still without much experience, King Sentenal sees a bright future ahead of him. Not many people would be able to rise to the challenge to defend Berlin like he did. Nagi's traits kinda suck right now. "Born Soldier" is good, his others are just "A Happy Drinker", and "Prussian Junker". But with experience comes more traits. Do your best, Nagisama!

Nagisama marches South from Berlin, and engages the invading Westphalian army, lifting the siege of Dresden. The invading army isn't much, but neither is Nagisama's army, which is made up of the Regulars who bravely defended Berlin. Nagi's ambition only starts here, however. There are reinforcements near, from the city garrison, to reinforcements from Kaal's army in Silesia. In order to set make his own future, Nagisama resolves to smash the invaders before reinforcements arrive.

Nagisama's story is just beginning, and the Second Battle of Dresden is about to take place.

KazeHydra

Japan2788 Posts

June 18 2012 21:00 GMT

#10

Nothing wrong with Nagisama being a happy drinker. Alcohol is humanity's friend. Can he abandon a friend?

Sentenal

United States12398 Posts

June 18 2012 21:11 GMT

#11

On an interesting note, Nagisama and Havoc are both Happy Drinkers. Maybe they can Mittermeyer/Reuenthal it up one day, should they link up.

Zeke50100

United States2220 Posts

June 18 2012 22:36 GMT

#12

There needs to be a timeline or something for each person.

Conquer the world, Sent. I believe in you!

Sentenal

United States12398 Posts

June 19 2012 00:32 GMT

#13

Part 6

Last time, Nagisama, newly appointed Prussian General, marched his forces from Berlin south, to lift the siege of Dresden. Nagisama intends to finish the battle quickly, with just his forces, before any reinforcements arrive to share in the glory.

The Second Battle of Dresden

Nagisama arrives, and organizes his troops. It is a cold winter, but thankfully there is no storm my vision or anything.

Nagi marches his units up to meet invaders. Half of his men march side by side down the city road, the other half take the outskirts. Nagisama's Regulars on the outskirts meet their enemy, and engage them.

With his flanks secured, Nagi deploys 3 firing lines to deal with the Westphalian Vanguard. Just going by simple numbers, the enemy should break soon.

And they do. Nagisama presses the attack, since reinforcements are getting closer, Nagisama presses his attack. He positions his cavalry to the side, ready to charge in when their lines waver in the slightest.

The remaining Westphalians hurry to form firing lines. However, both the regiments from the city, and the ones coming from the outskirts are converging at the same time, soon to catch them in a crossfire.

The Westphalians decide to divert all their attention on the regiment attacking from the city, before they are caught on two sides. Meanwhile, Nagisama's cavalry descend upon routing enemy infantry.

The Westphalians focus on Nagisama's forces in the city, however, their lines easily hold, and the rest of Nagi's forces arrive at their rear.

This crossfire breaks the enemy's lines, and Nagisama orders his cavalry in to chase down their remaining forces.

The resulting fighting claims the life of the enemy General, spelling an end to the Westphalian invasion.

That was easy, didn't even need all those reinforcements.

What a slaughter.

Following the victory at Dresden, Nagisama leads his men to hunt down and mop up remaining enemies.

Auto-resolve battle, ezpz

Meanwhile, back in the East, a small force of Polish Troops enter my territory. Havoc immediately deploys his army, and engages them in battle. However, this force was likely only meant as a raiding party, and not really worth of battle.

Auto-resolve, the tiny raiding force is crushed

With a new threat, however small, in the West, I'm now surrounded on 3 sides by enemies, not to mention rebellions inside. I send an envoy to Emperor Shauni, requesting a cease fire.

Surprisingly, he agrees! While this cease fire is nothing other than temporary, at least it gives me some time to focus on Poland and the rebels. Austria can be dealt with later.

Right after peace is declared, the Silesians rise up in a Rebellion. Probably because Austria signed a peace treaty with me, these rebels are not Austrian rebels, but local rebels. Since they are sorta close to the Austrian Border, General Kaal takes a "Lets see what they do", stance. Maybe they will go into Austria, and fuck with them!

However, they don't. Instead, the Rebels fortify their location. And as if in response to this, another rebellion breaks out in Warsaw. Two rebellions at the same time, I wish I had the option of just burning these cities to the ground, like in Civilization!!!

Since the Silesian Rebels aren't going anywhere, Kaal finally marches out to meet them. The Rebels are poorly trained Militia, so Kaal doesn't think much of their fighting strength. He marches with about 500 men, 3 regiments of Riflemen, and 2 regiments of cavalry. However, the enemy numbers almost twice Kaal's number. The coming battle will be a classic quality vs quanity battle.

Will General Kaal be able to crush these rebels without incident? Check back next time to find out.

Tiegrr

United States607 Posts

June 19 2012 01:48 GMT

#14

Well written. Enjoyed it since I'm a huge fan of the Total War series. Good luck!

cwalk

United States26 Posts

June 19 2012 02:10 GMT

#15

Normal difficulty is a bit too easy in my opinion.

Sentenal

United States12398 Posts

June 19 2012 16:22 GMT

#16

Part 7

Rebellions have popped up in both Warsaw and Silesia. General Kaal marches on the Rebel Encampment, to put down the uprising in Silesia. Kaal took a small force of Regulars and light conscripted cavalry (not the good kind of horse), and is greatly outnumbered. A battle of Quality vs Quantity is about to commence!

Kaal's forces are small and compact. He surveys the battlefield, looking to see the Rebel's Formation, and judge their intentions.

The Rebels are in a troublesome spot. To the East, the Rebels are set up in firing lines on a hill, and have dug in to withstand Kaal's assault.

Their defensive advantage is really something. Not only would Kaal have to attack up-hill at them, but they have also made make-shift barricades, to provide both cover, and protection from a frontal charge. This will be tricky.

Due to the sheer numbers of the enemy, Kaal spreads his firing line long and then, to prevent getting simply overun, should the enemy attack. He marches them just out of firing range, and waits. Kaal hopes the enemy will see his small force, and come down to meet him, leaving their defensive position.

General Kaal waits, but the enemy isn't falling for it. So, Kaal chooses a new strategy. He marches his forces north, swinging around to the Rebel's Right Wing. He doesn't need to fight them all at once, and if they are just going to sit there, Kaal will descend upon them on the side. Not only would this negate much of the enemy's size advantage, but hitting them from the side would also nullify much of their height and barricade advantage.

The enemy sees Kaal's movements. One enemy unit got caught by Kaal's riflemen and cavalry, but the others see the what Kaal is doing, and their Left Wing swings out to meet Kaal. However, this is just what Kaal wants, as in doing so, they are leaving much of their fortification behind.

The first enemy unit is routed. Kaal calls his cavarly back. The stage is set for an open-field battle.

Kaal spreads his forces out, and they meet. In my entire playthrough, this is probably the cleanest "two sides line up and shoot each other" battle I've had. This is a very text-book 1700-era battle.

Additionally to spreading his battle lines to meet the enemy, Kaal deploys his cavalry regiments to both of the enemy's flanks.

And battle commences. Prussian Regulars march up and meet the militia in battle. At the same time, Kaal orders in his cavalry, hitting both enemy flanks.

The cavarly take heavy losses, and are routed. However, they served their purpose. The enemy formation has been damaged, allowing Kaal's main force to sweep in on them.

Kaal is just sitting up on that hill, going "God damn I'm good", looking at the battlefield. Do you guys notice anything about the battle lines now, compared to the start of the battle?

Kaal's tactics have essentially gained himself the high-ground. The enemy, who started on top of a hill, behind a barricade, as been forced to the bottom of the hill, and is constantly getting forced back, due to the swift positioning and repositioning of Kaal's troops.

One by one, the Militia routes, giving Kaal better and better positioning on the enemy.

One of the enemy units magically stops routing somehow, and turns around to fight, seeing as how the unit that defeated them now has their flank exposed. But Kaal sees this, and quickly repositions them again, to get ready for their attack.

While Kaal keeps his flanks protected, the center of the enemy unit crumbles and is routed.

Much of the enemy force has been killed or routed. Rebel Silesians have to step over body after body in order to get at the Prussian force, all the while volley after volley rains on them.

Finally, the Rebel Army can no longer stand up to Kaal's forces, and they break and run. All that remains is one final regiment of reserves, who bravely march out to meet Kaal's lines.

These are brave men whom are about to die. And die they do. Kaal descends upon them on 3 sides, and crushes them.

Kaal wins, and the game calls it a close victory. I disagree that it was close, but whatever.

And now we see why it was a "close" victory. Its because that even after the battle, the remaining numbers of units still have Kaal as out-numbered. But Kaal only lost about 200 men, compared to the Rebel's 500.

Kaal's troops are tired from battle, and fewer in number. Kaal must pursue the enemy, however. He calls up reinforcements to pursue, 3 fresh, full manned reigments of Prussian Regulars. Now, not only does he have the quality advantage, but he has the quantity advantage.

Auto-resolve battle, the Silesian rebels are crushed without much of a fight.

Meanwhile, back in the East, General WreakHavoc is about to entered into a new battle with Polish rebels. His units are all rested and supplied, and reinforcements are near. It has been long enough, and Havoc intends to put these Polish bastards in their place. Thus is the first step of Havoc's first campaign. His goal: Lwow, Galicia. The Southern Polish Fortress. The source of the armies that have been plaguing MY FUCKING RESERACH HOUSES FOR LIKE THE PAST 6 YEARS FUCK THEM.

lee365

United States448 Posts

June 19 2012 16:49 GMT

#17

Why did my campaigns never go as smoothly as this. I remember being hated by almost every nation in the game besides the ottomans. T_T

Sentenal

United States12398 Posts

June 19 2012 17:15 GMT

#18

I think the secret is that you need to be a big ass army, with a country attached to it. Apparently my power in this playthrough is "terrifying", so practically everyone other than those insane Westphalians shit their pants at the thought of fighting me.

Nagisama

Canada4481 Posts

June 19 2012 17:28 GMT

#19

With such awesome generals, who wouldn't be shitting their pants!

Xinder

United States2269 Posts

June 20 2012 17:22 GMT

#20

This is awesome! Almost makes me want to buy total war and play it...almost. Sadly I suck at these types of games so I probably wont. lol. Well done though! Makes me feel like I'm participating in the campaign with you.

Sentenal

United States12398 Posts

June 20 2012 23:16 GMT

#21

Part 8

Gerenal WreakHavoc has sent out to crush yet another Polish Rebellion. These things seem to pop up like every couple of turns, and I'm getting tired of it. These Rebellions and riots keep burning down Warsaw's infrastructure, and is ending up costing me a fortune. Havoc knows this, and has set out on a new Campaign, one that will re-start the conquest of Poland.

Havoc meets marchs out with the bulk of his Eastern Army, to meet the rebel forces.

Across the field, the Rebels have gathered, and march to meet Havoc.

The Rebels quickly try and outflank Havoc's line with a cavalry charge, however, their flanking is caught by Havoc's Left Wing. This spells disaster for this cavalry unit, as musket fire blasts them to pieces.

Meanwhile, on the other flank, the rebels try again with a different cavalry regiment. However, Havoc has his flanks protected, and this cavalry regiment too is met with a rain of bullets, routing it.

Now it is just a text-book battle of defeating Militia with Line Infantry.

The enemy begins to get encircled, and Havoc positions his own cavalry at the enemy's rear, waiting for a chance to ride them down.

The encirclement and cavalry charge breaks the enemy, causing their entire lines to collapse. In the resulting pursuit, the Rebel General is killed in battle.

Havoc absolutely crushes the rebels.

Havos still has over 1000 men at his command, while the enemy is crushed. When Havoc finishes mopping them up, Havoc marchs on Lwow.

Its been a while since I've taken a look at how my Generals have grown after their battles, so lets take a look.

Before, Havoc was a "Soldier from Birth", "Happy Drinker", "Steady Under Fire", and "Prussian Junker". Kinda shitty, especially when he was supposed to replace General EchOne, who was an EXCELLENT 7 Star General. And Havoc has been shaping out quite nicely! Steady Under Fire and Prussian Junker are gone, replaced by "Brave Soldier", "Attacking General", and "Superior General". Hes 6 stars as well, fairly close to what Echo was. Havoc has become a very worth successor to Echo. And hes younger than Echo was when I first got him, so the sky is the limit with him.

Here is General Kaal. Apparently Kaal has gone into a slump since Echo's death. Where Kaal was a 7 Star General, he is now a 5 star. He is no longer the darling of the media, or a Petty Tyrant. He has gained the Steady Under Fire trait, however. And he is still a Superior General, so there is no-one questioning that he knows how to fight. Kaal needs to step his game up though, or these new-comers are just gonna surpass him, and maybe take away his title of "Supreme Commander of Prussian Forces" away from him.

Here is General Nagisama. He has grown nicely as well. He is now a 6 Star General. Nagi's biggest change is that he has become a Confident General. Let us hope that his confidence isn't misplaced...

And myself. I got some new dude following me around, but other than that, I'm just older. Meh.

So, back to the game. A Westphalian Army has invaded me, again. Nagisama prepares to ride out and meet them. The torched a farm on their way in, and they need to be dealt with before they do the same to that town. I have too many expenses already!

Meanwhile, my Assassin Spazer has inflitrated Polish territory, and assassinated a Catholic Priest. This is good. With the priest dead, pretty soon I can start spreading my superior Protestant beliefs into this area.

Havoc finally closes in on whats left over of the Rebel Forces he was chasing.

Auto-resolve, crush them. Havoc now just needs to wait for reinforcements before he proceeds to Lwow.

Meanwhile, there is a Polish army threatening my Gentlemen-learning-place-thing. General Kaal moves to crush them.

Auto-resolve, crushed them.

Before Nagisama marches on the Westphalian Invaders, I send an Envoy to my neighboring country of Hannover. Apparently some chick is in charge there, but whatever. I make a request for a Military Alliance with them. They are also neighbors with Westphalia. Should they join me in the war, perhaps Westphalia will leave me the fuck alone? Hannover accepts because I'm just so sexy.

Nagisama marches out to meet the Westphalian invaders. Even though I have a sizable advantage in just about every way I look at it, the game doesn't think my advantage is too much. But soon, battle will begin, and Nagisama will again attempt to force the Westphalians out of my territory.

So Nagisama arranges his forces. Its a clear day winter day. Snow all over the place, but there is no storm. A nice day to have a bloody battle where hundreds of people die!

The Westphalians begin their march.

Apparently my enemies are addicted to retarded cavalry charges. While this is a stupid thing to do in general, the computer didn't count on Nagisama still employing the Rosenritter in his army. The Rosenritter quickly rape and route the enemy cavalry unit.

So the battle lines are formed. Nagi sends his cavalry behind the enemy, getting ready for a flank.

THIS is how you are supposed to use horses! Take notes, computer!

So the Westphalian's Left Wing has been crushed, and their Right Wing is attacked my Nagi's Rosenritter.

The enemy is in a pretty bad position. The battle continues, while Nagisama's cavalry ride down routing enemies.

The Rosenritter finally route their enemy, and pull back, since fighting with spears vs guns is hard work. Nagisama orders his own unit to pursue the routing troops.

It doesn't take long for the rest of the enemy to break ranks and flee. The battle is all but over.

Heroic Victory. Nagisama defeats the Westphalians, and drives them out of Prussian territory.

They are defeated, and driven out. Its worth noting that the remainder of the enemy are driven INTO Hannover. Which, I'm sure, gets Hannover pissed at Westphalia.

In other news, Morocco is destroyed. War in Africa, I guess. Prussians don't give a fuck, though.

Havoc is met by reinforcements, and finally marches on Lwow itself. Lwow is a fortress, however. This will be a new sort of battle for my armies.

I demand they surrender, since they are mostly Firelock Armed Citizenry (which are horrible), but they refuse. Stupid bastards. Havoc will show them whats up.

As a note, I need to clarify something about earlier in my playthrough. Remember when Austria invaded, and attacked my capitol? Well, I said that I just had 3 Line Infantry and "Militia" that battle, right? Well, I was mistaken. While you can actually buy Militia, and Militia do indeed suck, there is a different level of "suck" in this game, and that is Firelock Armed Citizenry. They are even worse than militia. If you forced to use them, then God help you.

Nagisama

Canada4481 Posts

June 21 2012 15:52 GMT

#22

Fuck yeah!!! Rosenritter too good!!! Who cares if they're on horses!

Sentenal

United States12398 Posts

June 21 2012 17:45 GMT

#23

Part 9

The Siege of Lwow begins. This is a first for me, taking a castle. I position my cannons as close as possible. They can barely hit the closest wall, but that should be good enough.

Their infantry is on the walls, ready to defend against me. And these fuckers have cannons too, wtf the castle walls are shooting me!

Well thats okay, because my cannon shelling causes one portion of their castle walls to crumble on the North West end. Now, I have room to walk my dudes in.

They move some of their infantry down as well, forming up just inside the hole. Advancing through that little crack is gonna be a bloodbath.

Luckily, on the North East End, I have Spider Man on my team. He fires his webs up to the top of the wall, to begin his climb!

Spider-man~ Spider-man~ Radio Active Spider-man~

Yeah so all my dudes are just climbing up the walls. I only took a little token losses here or there from cannons and musket fire. Apparently, defenders are too retarded in this game to just mow down advancing infantry from on top of a wall.

So my dudes climb up the wall, and a huge melee battle begins up there.

Rather than send his men into a meat-grinder, Havoc chose to keep a regiment outside the hole he opened, and simply fire into it, and not let them get out. Additionally, he did the same at the front gate. The enemy general decides to send some militia out the hole to engage me, followed by his cavalry.

The same thing happens at the front gate, as militia units pour out to engage my troops.

Meanwhile, on the Castle Walls, my infantry have almost all made it up, and have pretty much claimed the walls for themselves.

Back at the hole I opened, the fight is still going on fiercely. I send my unit of Militia in as support for my Line Infantry.

The infantry that scaled the walls is now trying to make their way down. A unit of Polish infantry was trying to go up to stop them, and another melee breaks out.

The militia that sallied forth from the main gates are getting wiped out. Pretty soon, the main gate will be mine.

At the breach, the battle continues. Nothing much has changed there.

Finally, a regiment of infantry on the Wall make it down, and engage the Enemy General's unit. They just run around while I shoot at them.

The militia attacking at the gate have all fallen.

And the fighting at the breach is all but concluded, as the enemy units begin to route.

Heroic Victory. And I own it all to Spider Man.

The entire Enemy Garrison was crushed, and Lwow is now mine. Havoc's causalities were very light compared to the enemy.

Here is the biggest gain that I got from this conquest, and it was an unexpected one. The simple capture of Lwow will more than double my income next turn. Due to all the unrest in Warsaw, I've been getting less than 1000 gold to spend per turn, and most of that was simply going to refill my army units. I didn't have nearly enough to simply rebuild infrastructure in Warsaw, let alone by new places. With almost 2k coming in, I will finally have enough money to invest in rebuilding!

Also I now have a Mistress, apparently.

Meanwhile, a small Polish invasion force heads towards East Prussia. They completely ignore an advanced force set up in town near the border, and strike at the city itself. This move in itself will likely be described by later historians as "The WORST Decision EVER! With such a small army, they strike at the city in the worst possible place, essentially surrounding THEMSELVES. Their only chance of victory is to quickly defeat one of my forces before they link up, but with such a tiny army... While I have no generals there, Zergneedsfood, the officer in command of the city garrison, readies his defenses.

ZNF readies his forces, and chooses to completely ignore manning the walls.

The Enemy Force chooses to attack the castle first, and begins marching. However, they only have two units of Line Infantry...

Meanwhile, the advanced force has already arrived as reinforcements, DIRECTLY at the enemy's rear.

ZNF finally decides to put some troops on the wall, and sends the rest out into the field to repel the enemy before they even arrive.

The battle lines are set, going to have two of my regiments against one of his. Won't be much of a fight.

Minewhile, reinforcements catch the enemy in the rear, and a slaughter beings.

Their attacking units don't fair much better.

Apparently Spider Man is part of their army too, and they begin to start scaling my walls. A regiment of infantry is waiting for them.

Reinforcements open fire on their cannons. Not much longer now till they are finished.

They spread out, and begin the extermination.

The Spidermen make their way up the wall, and engage ZNF's troops. But trickling up so slowly allows ZNF's men to deal with them easily.

The troops scaling the walls are defeated, and all the troops in the field have been crushed. ZNF wins a decisive victory.

ZNF only lost 21 troops, a fact that pissed him off. ZNF, for some insane reason, believes the quality of victory is only determined by how much blood is spent to gain it.

So a National Update that is relevant to me! Westphalia has fallen! Apparently, after Nagisama drove the last Westphalian Army out of Saxony, into Hannover's territory, relations in between their countries went into the shitter. And in the years since, Hannover invaded Westphalia, and conquered them. Thanks to my new allies, Western Prussia is currently secure, with only the threat of Austria lurking about!

An enemy Rake, probably Polish, was captured and executed. Clearly, hes not as talented at Raking as Spazer is.

Meanwhile, while Havoc is leading the expedition against Poland down in Lwow, a new Rebellion in Warsaw popped up. Kaal is in the region to fill the void left by Havoc, and engages the rebels.

Kaal has his units all lined up. Battle to begin shortly.

The enemy forms a massive battle line to match Kaal's and the two march to meet each other.

The two forces get ready to face off. Kaal deploys his cavalry to the enemy's rear, while at the same time leaving a unit to guard his own flank. This battle, I mistook their cool different looking Polish Infantry for some cavalry regiment, so protecting Kaal's flank was meaningless.

And the battle begins. Kaal orders his cavalry to attack both of their flanks.

The cavalry charge his them hard, putting the flow of battle squarely in Kaal's favor.

And now the routes begin. Line Infantry attacking from the front, and cavalry from behind is too much for them.

Meanwhile, Kaal's last cavalry unit engages the Rebel reserves.

Most of the Rebel Forces are broken, and the battle is almost done.

Kaal begins the encirclement.

The battle claims the life of the Rebel General. Kaal hopes that this will be the LAST of the Warsaw Rebels.

And Heroic Victory.

Barely any losses on Kaal's side, and the Rebel Army is crushed. Only mop-up operations will be required now.

Westphalia is no more, Austria is currently at peace with me, and my income is finally flowing in. All that is left is to invade the remaining Polish lands, and finish the war!

Kaal

Djibouti2508 Posts

June 22 2012 16:15 GMT

#24

I feel like I've been death flagged.

Sentenal

United States12398 Posts

June 22 2012 16:16 GMT

#25

Part 10

Last time, we had Kaal supressing a Polish Rebellion, and ZNF defending against a retardedly executed Polish Invasion.

I'm in the mood for more allies. So I see if Denmark wants to ally. However, Denmark is retarded (surprise surprise), and refuses my offer. Well, its gonna be annoying when I go to war with them later, since they will block my trade for a few turns, but fuck them.

I finally got a new Rake. The money I'm rolling in now has let me upgrade the shit I need in order to spawn more. Gaoxi is my first new Rake, however more will be coming. I give Gaoxi his first mission, to infiltrate Belarius.

Now a Rebellion springs up in Galacia. Havoc is stationed there, and will be able to crush it shortly. Thank God this place isn't a National Capitol, so this will likely be the only Rebellion I'll have to deal with here.

Meanwhile, the Polish Invade East Prussia! Again! And somehow, they make almost the EXACT same retarded mistake! They surround themselves! ZNF is eager to show them why this was a bad idea. AGAIN.

ZNF lines up his regiment, and gets ready to move out. Reinforcements should be showing up soon, directly at the enemy's rear. Should be a piece of cake.

And here the enemy is, and you can see my reinforcements showing up way at their rear.

And here they come. The enemy is surrounded by an army on either side, and they lack the strength to break through either.

But they try what they can. They send their cavalry to flank, but ZNF's Line Infantry are ready.

They charge anyway, but a frontal assault after taking a few volleys is gonna spell defeat for these horses.

Finally, the Reinforcements draw up battle lines at the rear of the enemy, and mow down the Polish Horse.

MMMmmmmmmm.... Polish Sandwich.........

Finally that first cavalry unit is routed, so this regiment can rejoin the lines.

And then they start shooting dudes in the back!

EZPZ, Polish are all routed.

More like pathetically easy victory.

Huh, ZNF lost more than I thought. Whatever. If this battle has taught ZNF anything, its that you should never respect cavalry, and it doesn't matter how many men you lose, as long as you win.

General Kaal runs in, and is all like sup, I'm mopping you. I skipped the Auto-Resolve screen this time, but they are dead.

General WreakHavoc marches on the Galacia Rebels. They have two cool infantry units, and alot of militia. Lets see how the battle goes.

Havoc readies his men.

The Rebels have to march up a big hill to get to me, but they are on their way.

Havoc's cannons shell the enemy as they march, demolishing some poor dude's house in the process.

And the Battle Lines meet.

And the "both sides shoot each other till one dies more than the other" contest begins.

Havoc deploys his Battle Lines with his Center kinda out there, but then both of the flanks form up to get a crossfire on the enemy.

Before long, the Rebel General is killed in battle.

Now it is just a matter of pursuing the enemy.

EZPZ

Now just a mop-up operation. Havoc's entire army couldn't reach them in one move, so what I did was move the army as much as I could, and then have Havoc's unit ride ahead and engage them. And then the rest of the army will join as Reinforcements. The trick works, and the Rebellion is crushed.

Meanwhile there is a small Polish unit in Warsaw that needs to be taken care of, and Kaal mimic's Havoc's tactics by riding ahead, and bringing the rest of his dudes are reinforcements. Tiny unit is crushed.

Meanwhile, Spazer infiltrates Lithuania, and goes to blow up shit.

And shit explodes! Spazer is pretty good at this killing people and blowing shit up thing.

The Ottoman Empire sends an Envoy, and they want to set up trade between our two nations. Its like the Ottomans want to ally and form the Central Powers, along with Austria, or something. But no, fuck Austria. Anyway, I accept the trade deal. More money is good.

This is the first of something that happens every fucking turn now. The Barbary States want peace. At first, I'm like OKAY GIMME GOLD AND SURE, but they refuse. I don't even know where the Barbary States are, and yet they have managed to be at war with the ENTIRE WORLD, save the Ottomans, who are their protector. But seriously, at war with the entire world, and they want peace with me?

ZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz Another Polish Rebellion.

I'm in need of another General, so I promote Zergneedsfood to General. General Kaal is in charge of the central region, Havoc is in charge of Southern Poland, in case of any invasion down there, so ZNF is charged with invading Lithuania, and conquering what is left of them. Soon, what will be known as "The Happy Funtime Adventures of ZNF" will be begin.

Meanwhile, Caller has demanded me to make him a General. Caller is crazy. He even has some crazy nut following him around everywhere. He wants a big stack of nothing but cavalry, and he wants to die in battle. Unfortunately for him, hes a good Chief Justice. I'm not crazy enough to dismiss him, not right now.

Unexpected, the Polish Rebels this time grow some balls, and Besiege Warsaw. Unfortunately for them, General Kaal is nearby, and able to ride to Warsaw's defense.

EchOne

United States2906 Posts

June 22 2012 16:19 GMT

#26

Fucking rebels. In my game I accidentally lost Warsaw to a routed Rebel Army because the pussies were still on the map and I couldn't run them down/fucking game didn't give me 1000 firelock armed citizens to hold the line for a flank.

Oh I think you can make Uhlan Lancers now. Those guys are pretty beast.

Sentenal

United States12398 Posts

June 22 2012 16:26 GMT

#27

On June 23 2012 01:19 EchOne wrote:
Fucking rebels. In my game I accidentally lost Warsaw to a routed Rebel Army because the pussies were still on the map and I couldn't run them down/fucking game didn't give me 1000 firelock armed citizens to hold the line for a flank.

Oh I think you can make Uhlan Lancers now. Those guys are pretty beast.

Uhlan Lancers? Are those cool Polish troops or something?

I've always made sure to keep a group of dudes in my cities, it would be humiliating if I lost Warsaw, only to recapture it and have the fucking Unrest go back up.

daemir

Finland8662 Posts

June 22 2012 16:28 GMT

#28

Insufficient Video Memory (4g ram, 1g vram, 64bit os)

gg, next title..

Zergneedsfood

United States10671 Posts

June 22 2012 16:50 GMT

#29

So excited for the happy funtime adventures of ZNF. :D

CobaltBlu

United States919 Posts

June 22 2012 18:15 GMT

#30

This makes me want to reinstall Empire but the game seems a lot less epic when the computer sends endless streams of ninja militia who somehow evade all your forward troops and burn down all your infrastructure and siege your cities. Also, unrest from conquering places.

Still tempting.

Gao Xi

Hong Kong5178 Posts

June 22 2012 20:05 GMT

#31

Yay I finally get to go. Hopefully I don't die -_-

Spazer

Canada8029 Posts

June 23 2012 04:57 GMT

#32

Killing priests eh? He must've been a Terraist.

Sentenal

United States12398 Posts

June 24 2012 06:54 GMT

#33

Part 11

So these ballsy Polish Rebels have besieged Warsaw. Now the city's small garrison has to hold out until General Kaal's forces arrive.

Kaal's forces are showing up, but my Garrison is too small to fight the enemy alone, and the Rebels are on the move.

Rather than simply engage the enemy, by dudes are marching South West, away from the enemy, but looking to link up with Kaal's forces. Once linked up, this battle should be a piece of cake.

The enemy sends a regiment of cavalry running my guys down, which forces my forces to stop and form battle lines to defeat them. The Rebels also ran a infantry regiment after them. Thankfully, the threat of Kaal's main force kept the bulk of their army occupied.

The threat of Kaal's forces make the Rebels reorganize their guys, getting ready to meet my assault.

Their cavalry unit is still fighting, but not for long. With the enemy reorganized, they are now marching towards the spot where it seems like my forces will link up.

But Kaal's dudes get there first. The battle proper is about to start.

The Rebels make use of the cavalry, but without a proper flank, it won't do much.

The battle went rather smoothly. Kaal's superior forces simply crushed them.

My cavarly units relentless pursued the enemy, trying to eliminate as many as possible, to reduce how many I'd have to fight in mop-up operations.

During this fighting, the Rebel General is killed.

Decisive Victory.

So Warsaw held, and the Rebel Army was crushed, with only a few lingering units remaining.

I forgot to take the aftermath screenshot for this one, but I auto-resolve this, and Kaal finishes off the enemy.

Now for something new:

Apparently, some Austrian Gentlemen ran into one of my schools. IDK if hes hurting my research or what, but that guy needs to get fucked up. And to do it, this guy. Its time for a duel! And I get a cool cut-scene from it!

This is the Austrian Gentlemen. Apparently I have only about a 50% chance of winning. But thats okay.

Okay, backs together, take 10 steps, and shoot!

"Hey, why isn't my gun firing...?"
Famous last words. If any of you ever handle a loaded gun, learn from this man's example. NEVER look down the barrel of a loaded gun. The Austrian Gentlemen shoots himself in the face. lol, quiet a humorous cutscene.

The least I could do is bury the retard.

He has taught me a valuable lesson! Don't kill yourself, or you might die.

Meanwhile, I got a new Rake! Dullahan. I've really been getting alot of these dudes recently.

And on his first mission, Gaoxi is caught and executed by Polish forces. RIP! Go keep Echo company!

I should probably start calling them Lithuanian forces now, since the "Poland" part of Poland-Lithuania has been under my control for like 7 years now. Anyway, they manage to send an invading Army after Warsaw, and the city is besieged again. With Kaal having returned to Silesia, it falls upon my newest General, Zergneedsfood, to defend Warsaw.

Before ZNF actually heads out, I take a look at whats actually going on around Lithuania. Apparently, there was some rebellion north of them. As to who controlled this city originally, I have now idea. There was a Rebellion in Estonia, and the Rebellion won. Now these Rebels are fighting Poland, Courland, AND Russia. So their victory will be short lived.

ZNF marches to Warsaw from East Prussia, joins with garrison, and begins the battle. His march to Warsaw marks the beginning of "The Happy Funtime Adventures of ZNF". I have no idea why the game thinks this is an even battle. Maybe they think my new General is so terrible, that even with superior troops and numbers, he might lose? ZNF intents to show the game just whats up.

Its a snow storm, but ZNF has his guys ready. He has two regiments of Firelock Citizenry, and 3 Militia units. So, those Firelock Citizenry will be put to good use as bait/fodder.

ZNF advances, his Firelock Citizens out in front. The enemy is using fences set up in the farmland as cover. They needs to be taken care of.

So ZNF sends the poor citizens into a melee with the enemy, while he positions his real troops to shoot everything to death.

The rest of my forces advance through the treeline. They might have fences, but I have trees. Also numbers.

And here is the entire battlefield. The Firelock Noobs are getting demolished, but everyone else is ready to begin killing all the enemy.

My Firelock Citizenry have been routed, but so what. Thanks to them, I'm able to encircle the remaining Polish troops.

Only if you count Firelock Citizenry as actual units. This game just doesn't like ZNF.

The actual results of the battle show what really happened.

A new rake spawns, Ushio. Hopefully this guy isn't a noob who will get himself killed.

So people were asking me, "Where are all the enemy stacks?!!?" Well, apparently I absolutely crippled Poland, so they are unable to field any. But take a look at Austria. 3 decent sized stacks in this picture, and there is another army floating around as well. I guess when I finally take the fight to Austria, I'll have some real battles on my hand.

Meanwhile, Spazer wants to kill some Gentlemen.

And he succeeds! I need to be a bit more cautious with him, since the assassinate chance is so low, it can't work forever.

With a force of 1100 men, ZNF finally invades Lithuania. What fun adventures await him?

So the Battle begins. ZNF's guys spawn ride outside of town.

The inital group of enemies are directly East, but there is a much larger group a bit farther away.

Rather than face me in the streets, they await me outside of town, at the bottom of a hill.

Thats what I want to say, however, but the cavalry from the reinforcing enemy just rides into town and engages me. They don't pull off a flank, so they are as good as dead.

While my forces march to meet their main army, my rear guard engages another cavalry regiment. Since their entire purpose is to protect ZNF's flank, they repel this cavalry charge with ease.

ZNF has alot of dudes, and they form ranks, and the main fighting begins.

The enemy knows they can't survive a shooting contest, so they charge my lines, and begin a melee.

This proves unwise, and ZNF's forces beat them down in the melee as well. Their spirits broken, they run away like little girls.

The battle is practically over now. Just a few more units left to kill. ZNF's own cavalry unit is running down routing forces, which seems to be the only thing cavalry is good at in this game.

ZNF marches on the last of the enemy. They have some special cannon shell, and in one blast, takes down a good number of people. But even still, they don't last long.

And the game continues to hate ZNF, calling this a close victory.

ZNF defeated the Polish defending Lithuania. Now it is only a matter of taking the city itself.

Meanwhile, Spazer had himself a little scare. He was detected, but was able to escape capture/execution.

ZNF has besieged Vilnus, the capitol of Lithuania. It is defended by solely Firelock Armed Citizenry. God help them. ZNF will shortly begin his first ever siege of a walled city! It won't be much of a fight, but they refused to surrender. Probably should have just auto-resolved, but meh.

ManicMarine

Australia409 Posts

June 24 2012 08:03 GMT

#34

One thing that I always hated about Empire Total War is how shit the AI is, even on the hardest difficulty it doesn't do anything good lol. Nice Let's Play though, I've always had good fun having epic battles between Austria and Prussia.

Emnjay808

United States10651 Posts

June 24 2012 08:23 GMT

#35

Have ZNF lead the bayonet charge for that battle.

Surely nothing can go wrong.

EchOne

United States2906 Posts

June 24 2012 16:57 GMT

#36

ManicMarine at the recommendation of my good buddy kupon3ss I decided to explore this series of mods that allegedly makes the AI far less shit:

http://www.twcenter.net/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=1126

We'll see how that goes :>

Nagisama

Canada4481 Posts

June 24 2012 17:26 GMT

#37

I enjoy the AI being absolutely garbage. Makes me feel better. Although I still struggle with naval battles.

Sentenal

United States12398 Posts

June 25 2012 20:37 GMT

#38

Part 12

General ZNF has begun his adventures in Poland-Lithuania, and has now invaded the "Lithuania" part. And here stands his first siege. However, the city is defended entirely by firelock armed citizens. Shouldn't be much of a challenge.

ZNF tell his cannons to just shoot shit, so they shoot the big section of castle thats sticking out towards me.

ZNF's cannon fire destroys that useless section of castle, and his infantry are getting close to the walls themselves.

Spider Man time.

Siege warfare seems so silly in this game.

So my guys scale the wall, and now begin fighting the Firelock armed citizenry. I'll give them maybe 10-15 seconds before they route.

My guys are crawling all over their walls.

The General of Shit is killed.

The shitty firelock armed citizens are all practically dead, and the walls are mine.

Heroic Victory! Is what the game said, but again, it continues to troll Zergneedsfood, driving him farther and farther into madness... "Heroic Victory? Why not call my previous victories 'Heroic'!? This was a slaughter, not 'Heroic'! I'll show you heroic, game! Just you wait and see! I'll show you! Fuck being Spider Man! I will raise the flag of victory upon a mountain of corpses, friend and foe, and you will call me a HERO."

EZPZ.

Next, ZNF has marched on Minsk. I thought Minsk was a Russian city, but I guess not. The city is not walled, and is defended primarily by Firelock Armed Citizenry. Should not be much of a challenge. I need to hurry up and finish Poland, so I can fight Austria.

ZNF offers them to surrender, but its refused.

ZNF leads his forces into Minsk, and gets them ready for combat.

The enemy is positioned on the East side of town, and moves to meet my Prussian army.

And here come the obligatory "cavalry get raped by guns" part the computer always pulls.

Never even made it to my lines before routing.

And so Battle Lines are formed. However, they are mostly Firelock Armed Citizens, so they gonna get raped.

Some Infantry and cavalry try to turn my flank from the city, but ZNF has his flanks covered.

The enemy's front lines are breaking. Won't be long now till victory.

The Polish flanking forces get flanked themselves, while their front lines crumble and their armies flee.

ZNF's army starts bravely shooting the enemy in the back.

Elsewhere, ZNF's cavalry and infantry try and run down routing enemy units.

Heroic Victory. However, ZNF's descent into madness cannot be stopped by one victory such as this. No, ZNF believes himself to be called to a higher place, one where even more people are needlessly killed! A close battle, but so close that it will be called HEROIC. ZNF cares not for these small, tiny one sided victories that the game calls 'Heroic'.

The battle is over, and ZNF still has about 1000 men in his army. I take a turn to replenish his forces. Now I control all the territory that Poland-Lithunia originally had. Poland was the one who managed to capture that Rebel city I noticed a year or so back.

So here is my Prussian Empire. Its really huge right now, with Poland under my control. The red-arrows have been what my war-path has been up till now. The blue arrows are what I plan for the future. ZNF is to return to Lithunia, replenish his troops, and march on the last Polish stronghold. After that, hes to kill that newbie country of Courland.

As far as Russia goes, they are real big, fairly strong, and I don't want to fight them. Russia is too big to bother me to conquer them right now. I want Austria next. So, I need to make an alliance with Russia, which will hopefully secure my new, huge-ass border with them.

That leaves Austria as my big target. Generals Kaal and Nagisama are already in position to invade. Nagisama in Saxony, Kaal in Silesia. Nagisama's role will be to sweep through Prague, and besiege Vienna, the Austria Capitol. Kaal will descend upon Hungary, and keep their armies occupied while their capitol falls. General WreakHavoc in the East has his goal set on Transylvania. Getting is a question mark, though. I need to decide on my relations with the Ottomans before I make my move there. Either form an alliance, or march through them.

Well, Russia sends an Envoy, and they want to trade technology and shit. I agree to the terms. Should be good building blocks for a future alliance.

Meanwhile, Russia breaks off their alliance with Poland! Even better news! Although, Russia wasn't defending them in the first place, since I indirectly dragged Poland into war via Saxony.

Finally, in the Winter of 1716, General ZNF marches on Riga, Estonia. It is being defended by like 11 cavalry regiments, and just a few Infantry units.

And there it is. Riga. ZNF's unpleasant memories of the game taunting him at Lithuania being to taunt him. Not this time, he tells himself.

ZNF orders that the walls be shot to pieces. His cannons begin working, putting as many holes into the castle as possible.

Behind the castle walls, the Polish horse await.

The castle is filled with horses. Since horses can't man the walls, they are just waiting behind the walls.

And the first hole is blown into the wall. This draws out a regiment of cavalry, to charge across the field at me.

Frontal charges never work, however.

No sooner had one regiment been destroyed, than another comes charging out, just to meet the same fate.

Pretty soon, they will decide its probably a better idea to camp in the walls, than charge out at me.

And so, the Polish pitch a tent within their walls. My cannons have opened up two big holes, and the main gate is open. The real battle begins soon...

However, they are ready. I'm gonna have to force myself through 3 little bottlenecks. Maybe ZNF shouldn't have destroyed all the forward wall sections, so I could just climb the wall and shoot them?

Seems like a lot of dead bodies, right? Well, ZNF disagrees. "This is barely anything!"

The walls are in tatters and on fire, and ZNF's army finally reaches them. Now, time to storm the castle!

ZNF orders his men through the front gate, and through the holes! Let the battle begin for REALZ.

The enemy sends the majority of its cavalry to defend the Northern breach, but the Southern one allows my units in.

At the Southern Breach, they march over the corpses of the stupid bastards who stayed on the wall while it exploded, and get into firing lines.

The Northern Breach is a huge melee, just a big ass fight. ZNF's men are trying to push through, but the enemy isn't letting up.

And so the routes begin, INCLUDING my guys! ZNF's first Line Infantry unit took significant damage, and is routing. Same with a few Polish infantry units.

The castle is covered in corpses from this fight.

ZNF now has a total of 4 units routing, the most I've experienced this game.

What units are left finally break through, and form battle-lines inside the castle. THIS is what line infantry is good at, not trying to thread itself through tiny holes in the wall.

However, number of corpses it took in order to get where they are now is staggering. So many dead on both sides. This has easily been the bloodiest battle I've fought the entire game.

Prussian guns finally bring down the enemy General, and with him, Poland-Lithuania's future. It may have been a blood-bath, but its also the end of their country.

Heroic Victory! ZNF has done it! Not only did he give a bloodbath where he literally lost half of his army, but he got declared a Hero for it! ZNF has made his peace with the Gods of the game. ...Or so he thinks.

Sorry, I missed the screenshot of the post-battle stats. ZNF has like 600 guys left, and Poland has been completely destroyed! Now, just gotta take care of Courland, and turn my sights towards Austria.

I want Courland to declare war on me, rather than the other way around (for image purposes), so I threaten them to give me gold. They refuse, but don't declare war.

Meanwhile, in Austria, stacks. Hopefully they will give me a fun slugging match!

Russia sends an envoy, with a very odd offer. They want me to trade one of my Polish Territories for one of theirs, plus two of their technologies! Sounds like a great deal, doesn't it?

Until I look at WHERE their territory is that they are offering. Deep within the heart of Russia, practically as far away from me as I can possibly get. No way, fuck you Russia.

In more good news, War beings between Austria and France. Should make conquering Austria a bit easier.

I give up trying to get Courland to declare war on me, so I just declare on them. They are the protectorate of "Wurtemberg", which apparently is some really tiny country in the middle of Europe. IDK how they became a protectorate, but whatever.

So ZNF marches on Courland. They have an army stationed on a bridge, on the border of their country and Estonia. ZNF will have to take this bridge in order to march on the city itself. ZNF doesn't care to replenish his armies, and goes in with the 600 surviving troops he has.

Nagisama

Canada4481 Posts

June 26 2012 03:59 GMT

#39

Man, that cliffhanger with ZNF!!! Sure he has the current army advantage of 6:1, but those reinforcements... AGH what happens next?!

Zergneedsfood

United States10671 Posts

June 27 2012 01:29 GMT

#40

MY HEROIC RAMPAGE WILL NOT BE STOPPED! xDDDD

This is awesome.

Sentenal

United States12398 Posts

June 28 2012 14:05 GMT

#41

Part 13

General ZNF prepares to invade Courland. And this battle offers something new. A river and bridge.

A river and a bridge would have been interesting features for this map, except the inital enemy force isn't even in place to defend it. Their fortifications are on the other side of the river, on the far East side of the map, while I'm right next to the bridge on the West side.

The main threat of this battle is the enemy reinforcements.

With the main threat being sufficiently far away, it gives ZNF enough time to have his army cross the bridge. This thing would have been a bitch to cross if the enemy had bothered to defend it.

When my forces cross, we are met with their cavalry. ZNF hurries to form battle lines.

One regiment is hit by the cavalry, however, cavalry sucks in this game.

Several of ZNF's infantry regiments are extremely depleted, but they form up to meet the enemy anyway. However, they are all veterans, so hopefully that makes up for lack of numbers.

Rather than line up and shoot at me, the Courland army charges my lines and begins a melee.

This battle could be worse, if their front lines decided to shoot at me rather than charge me. They would have gotten a decent arc on my front lines, and caught them in a crossfire.

During all of the fighting, a stray bullet finds the enemy General, and kills him.

My lines hold, and the Courland army routes. ZNF will be the victor.

ZNF leads his own unit out, and flanks one of the last remaining infantry regiments. With this charge, combined with the beating they had taken, the enemy routes.

ZNF repeats the same move against another remaining infantry regiment. They route as well. ZNF's ego swells.

All that is left is to take out these cannons, and the battle is over.

Heroic Victory. Two heroic victories in a row. This, combined with his own madness, convinces ZNF that he is a warrior general, whom none can stand against. After all, look at the mountain of bodies he left at Riga, or his brave charges here.

ZNF marched on Riga with 1200 men under his command. Now, two battles later, that number is 300.

Only looking at his stack, and not how many men he actually has, ZNF besieges Jelgava, capitol of Courland. However, before he starts the attack, he sees that he barely has any men. So he continues the siege, and summons some reinforcements from Lithuania.

It is a grim day.

The city itself is mostly defended by Firelock Armed Citizens, however, they have reinforcements, the remnants of the army ZNF had just defeated, who are actual troops. Unfortunately, there is no way for ZNF to defeat one before they can link up.

The armed citizens man the walls, and get ready for ZNF's attack.

Armed citizens sit there while my cannons make their walls explode, sending them flying into the air to their death.

With their walls in pieces, they march out to meet my army.

Lines are formed, and ZNF's troops open fire.

This opening volley kills the enemy general!

Combined, all 9 of my Line Infantry Regiments add up to be about the numbers of 2 fresh regiments. However, clumped up, they are easily able to deal with Courland's numbers.

And the enemy begins to route.

Through one of the holes in the wall, the Courland Reinforcements finally enter the fight. Looking for blood, ZNF charges his own unit to help the Militia holding the line against them.

Little did ZNF know, there was one dude who was just chillin on the wall. The wall to either side of him is destroyed. The wall section he is standing on is technically destroyed too. So he will be up there for the rest of his life, until the day he dies. A lonely death, surrounded by the bodies of his comrades... He resolves that he will not die in vain! He takes up his rifle, points it down at the troops below him, and fires!

Awawawawawawa gomen nasai. And so ends ZNF's Happy Funtime Adventure... ZNF is killed heroically in battle. The gods of the game laugh. However, even with his death, this battle's outcome is decided. ZNF will have victory, even in death.

A heroic victory.

In one of his least costly victories ever, ZNF managed to die conquer Courland, at the cost of his own life. Yes, I meant to type the previous sentence like that.

And now this is the second time I've had a General die under my command. RIP, ZNF.

Courland has been conquered. Everything I wanted to do in the East is now finished, so I need to try and secure my Eastern Border.

This little map in the upper right shows what I need for my victory conditions. I've gone too far East! Practically everything I need is South West. But its okay, that's the direction I'm intending to go now.

Here is the prestige rankings for the Major nations. I'm winning. #2 is my ally, Great Britain. Then Spain. I should probably try to make friends with Spain too. Austria is in the top 10, but they are pretty weak compare to me. I'm the most militarily powerful country in the world, and also the most enlightened. However, my economy apparently sucks dick.

Diplomacy time! First, the Ottomans for some reason really like me. So I want to cement this relationship by forming a formal alliance with them. However, they are protecting those annoying Barbary States...

Meh, whatever, they are a world anyway. I'll ally with them so they will stop bugging me.

Peace is made, time to ally with the Ottomans!

I propose the alliance, and the Ottomans agree, and ally with me.

Meanwhile, I want to ally the Russians. Step one for this is trade, so I make a trade agreement with them.

FUCK YOU RUSSIA. Look at these bastards! No sooner than I make a trade deal with them, do they act like LOL IM GONNA DECLARE WAR ON U, PROBLEM? Fuck these guys. I DON'T WANT TO INVADE RUSSIA. I gotta go WEST, not EAST. Mark my words, Russia. When I have the rest of my objective points, I'm going to invade you. I'm going to crush you. Maybe I won't be alive when I finally do it, but my heir will do it. You are gonna get fucked.

TBone-

United States2309 Posts

June 28 2012 19:02 GMT

#42

I would really enjoy a stream of this. Actually, I don't think anyone streams total war games. I'd love to watch if you could.

Nagisama

Canada4481 Posts

June 28 2012 21:22 GMT

#43

poor znf, RIP.

EchOne

United States2906 Posts

June 28 2012 21:36 GMT

#44

Fucking guy stuck on a wall. He should've crumbled along with the stone.

Sentenal

United States12398 Posts

June 29 2012 15:44 GMT

#45

Part 14

Russia declared war on me, and sent in a small raiding party to burn my villages and farms. What dicks.

WreakHavoc marches out to meet them. There is a big difference in battle power, so I just auto-resolve.

Now just have to auto-resolve a mop-up battle, and this Russian army will be done for. Hopefully after this, Russia will just keep to themselves for a while.

Meanwhile, I'm going to be invading Austria soon. However, there is a problem with just outright declaring war on Austria. Austria is allied to Great Britain. If I just declare war on Austria, odds are Britain would cancel our alliance. So, I gotta get Austria to declare war on ME. To do so, I'm going to have to pick a fight with one of Austria's allies. I choose Bavaria. But thats still in a few turns. First I want to con them.

They go through alot of offers and counter-offers, but eventually settle on this. Alot better than I hoped! Gimme money!

Since my con went better than I hoped, I just declare war on them after they give me 600 gold. Time to invade Austria. My 3 Generals launch a massive invasion of Austria on all fronts.

Prague is the nearest to my borders, so Nagisama's is first. Nagisama, in the years Nagisama has been idle, his "Happy Drinker" trait turned to Drunken. Drunken is bad, like -2 moral or something. Oh well. The following is going to be one of the biggest battles I've fought.

But before I do, the game so far as been too easy, so lets crank the difficulty up as high as it can go.

Nagisama arranges his forces, and gets ready for battle.

The enemy has their fortifications set. The question is, will they just camp there, or will they come at Nagi?

They are on the move, swinging south, trying to get around me.

They try a cavalry charge, but like always, they get demolished because cavalry sucks in this game.

The cavalry attacks my lines, but they didn't pull off a flank. Also, someone forgot to tell the Austrians that Nagisama has the Rosenritter on his side.

Their fixed artillery is unable to move, so my units hit their cannons, and route them.

In the South, Nagisama forms battlelines, but the forces he sent after the artillery get attacked by more cavalry. However, the Rosenritter is there, so its k.

Meanwhile, my main line begins to meet the Austria forces. I make an attack on the last remaining artillery placement, this one which happens to be defended by their main force.

My guys from earlier finish with those cavalry units quickly due to the Rosenritter, so swing around and hit their flank.

The battle now will come down to who can not die the most.

In either a show of bravery, or a complete lack of confidence, the Austrians charge my Left Wing for a melee.

However, my lines hold, and repel the Austrians.

Meanwhile, the Rosenritter march across the field and engage the enemy on the West lines.

And the Rosenritter take the head of the Enemy General.

With much of their forces demolished, the remaining Austrian troops for a box formation, but nothing can save them.

The Austrians are in a complete route.

And Nagisama claims the first victory in the Austrian campaign, capturing the city of Prague.

Even with the difficulty cranked up to max, that was easy. Nagisama's army is still massive, and almost full strength.

Meanwhile, with my army being as large as it is, I need more income. I send an Envoy to the United Provinces (which I think is the Netherlands?), and arrange a trade deal. They are a major power, so this should be pretty good for the future.

WreakHavoc invades Transylvania, but his army is large, so they aren't able to besiege the city yet.

The same with Kaal, on his march to Hungary. Come Winter, both the cities, and the Austrian Capitol, will be under siege.

End turn, the United Provinces send me an envoy. They want a military alliance, and some other shit. Other shit, as in, things I don't want to give up/don't care for.

I counter-offer with just an alliance, and they agree.

Meanwhile, the last surviving Austrian General, Emnjay, takes a band of units and seemingly flees into the wilderness. What a coward. From what I can tell of Austria's remaining lands, is their other General, Prince something something, is dead. IDK if from battle, assassination, or natural causes, but he is nowhere to be found.

It is now Winter, 1720, and WreakHavoc has besieged Klausenburg, Transylvania.

Their battle strength was so tiny, I auto-resolved it and captured the city.

Kaal finally reaches Hungary, and besieges the city. However, Hungary and Vienna are right next to each other, and their close proximity allows one city to help defend the other. Kaal would be massively outnumbered if he charges the city now. Nagisama, however, is on the march again. If Nagisama is able to besiege Vienna at the same time, both cities will be locked in, and neither can help with each other's defense. So Kaal waits a bit for Nagi to march.

Nagisama finally reaches Vienna, and besieges the city. Now they are both locked in.

Without the aid of reinforcements, Kaal demands a surrender of Hungary.

They refuse. So, that means its time to assault the city. Hungary is one of the key cities of Austria, and if this city falls, then practically the entire country falls.

Kaal prepares his forces to storm the city.

The enemy is manning their walls, and ready themselves for Kaal's attack.

The enemy placed their artillery outside the walls so they could shell me, so Kaal orders his cavalry to run them down.

Hoping to blow up alot of the Austrian defenders, Kaal brings down a corner section of wall, however didn't get the results he wanted.

Spiderman time.

What wall?

In response to scaling the city's wall, the Austrians march their cavalry out of the gates, in order to stop me.

But it is too late, as my guys have reached the top of the walls, and engaged the enemy.

The battle is fully underway up top, and the cavalry that funneled through the gates are routed.

The Austrians are unable to hold, and being to route.

When the gates come under my control, Kaal orders his own cavalry to storm the city.

Cavalry on one side, and infantry streaming over the castle walls on the other seals the fate of the defenders.

There are only a few regiments of Austrians left, and they huddle in a Box Formation for cover.

But Kaal's troops on the city walls open fire on them, as my cavalry charges them. Kaal remarks that ZNF was a fool to shoot down all the walls at Riza, when he could have just done this and had an easy victory.

And the city falls. Hungary is now under Kaal's control.

Although the city fell, it was a costly battle. Kaal lost over half his forces in the attempt. But didn't lose as many as ZNF LOL.

Now Nagisama prepares to storm the Austrian Capitol of Vienna. With Kaal in control of Hungary, that frees him up to assist Nagisama. The city refuses to surrender. Nagisama orders the assault.

Kaal

Djibouti2508 Posts

July 01 2012 06:55 GMT

#46

After the successful campaign against Hungary, Kaal hears the news of ZNF's death. He holds a funeral in his honor, and makes a speech.

[image loading]

We have lost a hero to our glorious and noble cause, but does this foreshadow our defeat? No. It is a new beginning. Compared to the rest of Europe the military resources of Prussia is less than one thirtieth of theirs. Despite this major difference, how is it that we have been able to fight the fight for so long? It is because our goal in this war is a righteous one. Never forget the times when the rest of Europe has trampled us! We, the blessed children of God almighty, have had a long and arduous struggle to achieve glory for our great nation.My beloved brother, ZergNeedsFood, was sacrificed. WHY!? Our fight is sacred, our cause divine. The war is at a stalemate. Perhaps many of you have become complacent.

Europe has polluted our most cherished systems for merely the sake of their own greed! We must send them a message, but not composed of words. We have wasted too much time with words. We need action now. The Earth elite must be taught a strong lesson for their evil corruption. This is only the beginning of our war. We have been putting more and more money into our efforts towards making our military stronger than ever. The rest of Europe has done the same.

Many of your fathers and brothers have perished valiantly in the face of a contemptible enemy. We must never forget what Europe has done to our people! These Brave men have shown us these virtues through their own valiant sacrifice. By focusing our anger and sorrow, we are finally in a position where victory is within our grasp, and once again, our most cherished nation will flourish. Victory is the greatest tribute we can pay those who sacrifice their lives for us! Rise, our people, Rise! Take your sorrow, and turn it into anger! Prussia thirsts for the strength of its people! SIEG PRUSSIA!!! SIEG PRUSSIA!!! SIEG PRUSSIA!!!

Zergneedsfood

United States10671 Posts

July 02 2012 02:08 GMT

#47

YEAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*goes back in grave*

Sentenal

United States12398 Posts

July 02 2012 21:41 GMT

#48

lol Kaal

Part 15

Hungary has fallen, and Nagisama has besieged Vienna, capitol of Austria. Nagisama's forces are ready to storm the city. Kaal has troops positioned to assist as well, arriving as reinforcements. It is winter, and in the middle of a rain storm.

The Austrians gather on their walls, and prepare to repel the invaders.

And so the march begins. Nagi's army moves towards the city walls. Kaal's forces are already arriving in the East, and they begin their march as well.

Nagi orders his cavalry to run down the Austrian artillery, who are setup outside of their walls.

When Nagi's forces get close to the gate, the Austrian cavalry comes out to greet them, but horses suck, so they get raped.

And so the both Nagi and Kaal's forces begin scaling the walls, on both ends. Nagi's men meet the majority of the Austrian defenders.

The castle grounds are swarming with enemies, and they rush up the stairs to reinforce their men who have been losing the walls.

They are routed and defeated, however.

With the stairs being held, Nagi's troops take firing positions, and rain death upon those below them.

A new fresh lot of Austrians rush up to defeat them, crawling over the bodies of the dead, but are again repelled.

During all of this fighting, the Austrian General is killed.

With the walls secure, Nagi and Kaal's forces surround whats left of the enemy, and catch them in a cross-fire.

Nagi has won the battle. The total amount of troops in the battle numbered about 2000 on the Prussian side, the most I've been able to have in a single battle thus far. With this victory, Austria has almost been completely captured. Emperor Shauni was able to escape, fleeing to their last stronghold. Vienna itself will be in termoil for a long time because LOL 30 UNREST CUZ FOREIGN OCCUPATION, so both Nagi and Kaal will have to deal with that for a while, while replenishing enough troops to finish the job. Havoc for the meantime remains in Transylvania, ready to march East or West, depending on who needs help.

Right now, I'm having some money issues. With much of Vienna's infastructure in flame, and me having tons of armies, I'm barely breaking even, and not generating enough money to repair Vienna's shit. Repairing Vienna's shit will make me rich, but I need money in order to do that. So, I become a Democrat, lower taxes on the poor so they won't get pissed, and tax the evil rich!

I need monies, so I send an Envoy to Spain, and ask for trade. They agree.

I do the same to Denmark, and they also agree.

Then I send an envoy to some country in India, and setup another trade agreement. These new trade deals, plus raised taxes on the evil rich, will help me get enough money to repair Vienna. Then I can change the taxes back to what they were.

Then, Randomly, Venice declares war on me. WHY. FUCK YOU VENICE.

General Emnjay, rather than defend his own lands, choose to lead a small army into Poland. He lacks the forces to capture any city. So he has decided just to become a raider, and has been running around the country-side, burning villages, farms, and tons of stuff. And with most of Prussia's armies away, there is only militia to stop him. A young man steps up to the plate to defeat him. He is EchoTwo, son of the war hero, EchOne. It has been over 15 years since his father has died, giving his life for Prussia. Now his son wishes to follow his father, fighting for the glory of Prussia. With only a shitty group of Militia, EchoTwo confronts Emnjay. Numbers are clearly in EchoTwo's favor, but Echo's numbers are also just shitty Militia.

EchoTwo's forces get ready to march.

Emnjay's forces are on the defensive, setup on top of a hill. The enemy is advancing, but Emnjay apparently is able to resist his urge to run away.

"I gotta be brave!" Emnjay tells himself. "Afterall, I have a mustashe and a hat."

And so the battle begins. The front lines begin exchanging fire, while Echo makes use of his superior numbers, and begins to encircle the enemy.

Emnjay is completely surrounded. Even against lesser militia, can his forces win if surrounded? No. Emnjay's horse unit begins to run away, to get away from the fighting. The militia however swarm his horse unit and begin a melee.

And Emnjay is killed! EchoTwo has succeeded where Nagisama failed nearly a decade ago.

With their general dead, and the fact that they are surrounded, the enemy breaks and attempts to flee.

And EchoTwo wins his first battle!

Echo only lost about 50 militia men against the enemy. Not only was it his first victory, he barely lost any men on his side!

It begins. The first of many rebellions in Austria.

Meanwhile, Spazer inflitrates a Catholic Church. His mission: Kill all the Terraist.

And Spazer succeeds at brutally stabbing to death the first priest.

Kaal marches on the Austria rebel army. With this difference in strength, its hardly even a battle, so autoresolve.

And they are crushed.

Spazer goes to assassinate his next target. I didn't catch the screen, but he failed this time.

Nagi marches on another Rebel Austria army. Again, huge difference in battle power. Auto-resolve.

Nagisama wins! However, Nagisama gained the trait "Rumors of Cowardice" from this battle, while Kaal gained the trait "Hero of the Army"! Nagi can handle being called a drunkard, but not drunk coward! He declares that he will prove these rumors false! Nagisama has to pursue the remaining enemy, and whip them out.

Spazer attempts to murder the priest again.

After this one is murdered, I discovered that I can just dismantle the Catholic Church since I own the region. Spazer won't get to stab the last remaining priest to death :<

Nagisama tracks down the remaining enemy, and engages them. Auto-resolve.

Again! Must kill the last 16 people!

The nation ~~rejoices~~mourns for at the death of my Chief Justice. Caller has died of old age, never once being allowed to suicide an army of cavalry. He took the grudge to his death, insisting that because you can do it in Shogun 2, you can do it in this game.

EchOne

United States2906 Posts

July 02 2012 22:03 GMT

#49

I would give a funeral speech for Caller but I'm too busy counseling my son as a ghost.

Kaal

Djibouti2508 Posts

July 03 2012 02:47 GMT

#50

I never liked that asshole.

Emnjay808

United States10651 Posts

July 03 2012 04:42 GMT

#51

Mfw mustache and hat...

I didnt even go out in a glorious way, I started to run. T_T

Bluelightz

Indonesia2463 Posts

July 03 2012 04:53 GMT

#52

On July 03 2012 13:42 Emnjay808 wrote:
Mfw mustache and hat...

I didnt even go out in a glorious way, I started to run. T_T

Don't worry..... all the blame lies in the mysterious being called the..... "AI"

Anyway, nice taking the city C=

Sentenal

United States12398 Posts

July 05 2012 13:27 GMT

#53

Part 16

One of my fears is beginning to be realized. Russia, who just randomly declared war on me, has finally started getting active on my border. This army isn't enough to really capture any cities, but I've let mostly militia over in the Poland to defend it. If they come with a bigger stack, I might be in for some trouble.

Intending to prove he is no coward, Nagisama marches on the last Austrian city in Croatia. With Emnjay having marched off to his doom in the Polish wilderness, and their other General having died at some point, Emperor Shauni had no choice but to promote a new General. This time he brings out the True Keeper of Lolis, Ferrose, to defend the city and his life. Nagi may have been in too much of a rush to attack the city, as he is vastly outnumbered, and the city is walled. So Nagi simply besieges the city, while I prepare to send him some reinforcements.

Looks like I remembered wrong. This church is in the process of burning down, but it wasn't instant. Spazer gets a chance to kill the last Catholic Priest at it, before the place is dismantled.

And it worked! Spazer bathed in the blood of this last catholic priest. Now he can't wait until the way to Rome is open, so he can take a shot at the Pope.

Ferrose has no intention of letting Nagi sit around and wait for reinforcements. While I'll have some people to send Nagi at the start of my next turn, Ferrose attacks out to break the siege.

Nagisama's army is encamped on a hill outside the city. A fence has been setup on the hill, allowing for some defenses for his troops.

Ferrose starts marching his troops out from in and around the city.

Nagi gets his army setup in their defenses, but Ferrose threatens to completely surround him. Nagi's army is mostly line infantry, and many of his regiments have been smashed and only have 20 or so men in them now. On the other than, the enemy has many full units, except they are all lower quality units like cavalry, or firelock citizens.

One of Nagi's strong regiments is his Rosenritter, so the cavalry won't be much of a problem at all. Ferrose's Cavalry moves to flank Nagi's positions, but Nagi responds by having the Rosenritter defend that flank.

The Rosenritter slaughters the enemy cavalry, while the Austrian rifles close in on his position.

While one regiment of horse is getting raped, Ferrose launches a frontal assualt on a weak part of his line.

A huge melee begins there, but the Rosenritter also join that fight.

The enemy Cavalry have been routed, but now the next test arrives. Now it will come to guns.

And so the battle begins. Not wanting to just sit back and shoot me with firelock citizenry, my lines are swarmed into a melee.

After a fight, the Firelock citizens show their quality, and flee from battle. Now all that is left is to chase them down.

All of Nagisama's cavalry spring to action, and begin running down routing enemy troops.

Since Ferrose lead the charge out of the city, winning this battle doesn't mean I've taken it. Afterwards, remaining troops will gather back in the city walls. Nagi pursues them to kill as many as he possibly can before the battle is finished.

And a Decisive Victory.

Nagi lost around 20% of his forces in that battle, while Ferrose lost nearly 80%. I won't even need to wait for reinforcements to take the city now.

Meanwhile, Vienna has come under siege. The army is from some tiny Germany country, Wurtemberg, that declared war against a while back. They were the ones who were the random protectors of Courland. WreakHavoc is marching West, so he and Kaal will be able to handle them.

Also, one of my rakes, Ushio, was executed. It appears that not all of my rakes can be as good as Spazer.

Nagisama now gets ready to storm Zagreb. After the last battle, the tables have turned. Should be a very easy battle. Ferrose refuses to surrender.

Its a blizzard out, but Nagisama doesn't care. This battle is gonna be ezpz.

The tiny amount of troops remaining man the walls, and get as ready as they can be.

Nagi shoots a hole in their wall.

And their troops try to attack out to push me back.

However, Nagi's troops kill alot of them, so they route.

They hold for a little bit at their bottleneck where Nagi shot a hole in their wall, but with the Gate mine, I'm able to surround them. The Rosenritter move around their flanks, and seals Ferrose's defeat.

And Nagi wins a Heroic Victory.

Nagi has finally crushed Austria. And in the final battle, lost very few troops in doing so.

And now Austria has been completely destroyed. One of the great European Powers, destroyed by me in my quest to destroy Europe. Will the be the last? No, fuck that. Nagisama had Emperor Shauni captured and beheaded, and then sent his decapitated head back to me in Berlin. As for Ferrose, who survived combat twice, I guess Nagisama just took pity on a fellow pedophile, and allowed him to live.

Havoc finally arrives, and engages the army from Wurtemberg that besieged Vienna. They are lead by iky43210. iky43210 has been quoted as saying "wtf do people need legs for? half the time they don't even use them. And why do they need heads? That just makes for increased air resistance." Due to this strange philosophy of his, his army is almost entirely cannons.

Havoc, who is a bro, just engages and auto-resolves against these noobs. Barely any of them survive.

With the Wurtemberg army taken care of, Havoc marches on a new Austrian rebel army.

With both Kaal and Nagi in reinforcement range, this battle is too far in my favor, so I just auto-resolve, and the rebels are crushed.

Nagisama engages iky43210's army, and gets ready to wipe it out. All that is left is his own unit and some cannons. Not even a proper battle.

Although he lost more people than he killed, Nagisama crushed the the Wurtemberg army.

Meanwhile, in Poland, a Russian army is getting a little too close to my cities. A Militia leader named Elem the Black marches on one of their armies.

Auto-resolve, and Elem wins and repels them.

An Ottoman army enters Croatia, and looks like they are heading towards Venice. It would be cool if they took out Venice for me.

And now a legit Russian stack appears. While not the size of the armies that fought in the Austrian War, this Russian stack poses a serious threat to my cities in the East. Russia cannot be ignored, and now that Austria has been captured, I can't devote all of my Generals to that area anymore. I order Kaal to bring me the Russian Tzar's head, and Kaal begins his long march East. Now time to show Napoleon and Hitler how its done, in invading Russia.

The Russian army finally arrives and besieges my city in Belarus. Defended by militia and some firelock citizens, this looks to be a hard battle. These units all suck. Going to have to make sure my flanks are really secure. If there is one thing cavalry is good at in this game, other than chasing routing troops, its making shitty units like militia and firelock citizens route. Elem will have a true test coming up. Can he hold the city?

EchOne

United States2906 Posts

July 05 2012 15:36 GMT

#54

LOL iky's mass cannons. You don't need legs and heads in war, just guns! A whole fuckton of really big guns!

KazeHydra

Japan2788 Posts

July 05 2012 16:07 GMT

#55

On July 06 2012 00:36 EchOne wrote:
LOL iky's mass cannons. You don't need legs and heads in war, just guns! A whole fuckton of really big guns!

LOL but if the guns are too big, they just make for bigger targets. A strange philosophy indeed.

Spazer

Canada8029 Posts

July 06 2012 03:04 GMT

#56

Blood for the Blood God

Bring it, Pope.

Sentenal

United States12398 Posts

July 06 2012 15:29 GMT

#57

Part 17

Elem readies his absolute shit units in the city. The enemy is far superior to his guys, and if he wants to stand a chance, he is going to need a very good defense, with no holes for the enemy to flank.

Elem sends some regiments of troops to garrison some buildings in the middle of town. Others, he has them line each street, to prevent anyone from getting through.

And then the cavalry comes. And thanks to Empire: Total War AI, the troops in the buildings make their horses bug the fuck out!

So they all sit there while Elem's dudes shoot them.

Meanwhile, their infantry approaches. The main test of this battle is about to start.

Both sides shoot each other alot, but thankfully, with superior positioning, Elem is able to turn the enemy.

And then the next wave comes.

However, at this point, it looks like it will be a simple matter of numbers. Elem's forces begin to encircle the remaining Russian troops.

And now the Russians flee. The battle is won.

Heroic Victory.

Elem lost a good deal of troops, but this battle could have gone 100x worse. Elem was saved due to the AI bugging out at those garrisoned buildings. A cavalry charge while fending off infantry is a good way to route militia and firelock citizens, and the buildings saved me from that.

With their main army broken, the Russians resort to simply pillaging the country side, lighting buildings on fire and burning crops.

In response to these new Hostilities, my plans against Russia are being intensified. General Kaal is already leading his army East for the Russian Invasion. Russia is really, really fucking big, so it is un-wise to have him do it alone. So, I commission two new Generals, and give them charge of their own armies, for the invasion of Russia.

The first is EchoTwo. He was a young man when his father died 20 years ago, but now has grown up. EchoTwo lead a militia band in the defeat of Emnjay, and now has been promoted to General. Beginning as a 6 Star General, his career looks bright. He is a Confident General from the beginning, and a Soldier from Birth, largely due to his Father's influence. Also hes a Prussian Junker, whatever the fuck that is. I think its a positive trait, though.

The next is Elem the Black. Elem's recent victory over the Russians at Minsk gained him some fame, and was decided to give him command of the sweep of Northern Russia. While he lacks the raw talent and training as Echo, he still seems better qualified for the job than ZNF was, as he starts as a 4 Star General. He is a happy drinker (positive trait), which his men like. Elem needs to stay busy, however, or he may fall like Nagisama has, and become Drunken (negative trait). Also, he is a Prussian Junker, which again, I have no clue what that is. Oh yeah, Elem is also black.

Kaal's long march East is hindered. A rebellion sprang up in Transylvania. Kaal moves to crush it.

Auto-resolve, get crushed.

All that remains is to mop-up.

And they are finished off.

Meanwhile, back in Vienna, another rebellion beings. I really hate capturing capitols.

Before I can actually invade Russia, something needs to be done about all these raiding parties in Poland. So Elem marches out with his militia, and engages one band.

Auto-resolve, punting them away.

EchoTwo receives the punt, and gets ready to finish them off.

And they are finished.

Meanwhile, Nagisama marches on the Austrian rebels.

And he crushes this rebellion. Hopefully, after crushing rebellions year after year, Nagisama will stop being a drunkard.

Meanwhile, Havoc finally launches his new campaign to the West. He invades Bavaria with all his strength. However, there are two big stacks at Munich. There is the Bavarian Garrison, along with a Wurtemberg army.

Meanwhile, in AMERICA, some Indians get raped and forced onto reservations in order to make millions of dollars on casinos.

An Army from Venice invades, and occupies on of my Austrian Ports. Nagisama responds, and marches on their forces.

Their tiny army is unable to stand up to Nagisama's strength, and is driven out. Nagisama really wants to invade Venice at this point, and put an end to them, however the threat of Rebellion in Austria is too much, and he is ordered to continue protecting the area.

Havoc finally besieges Munich. However, the difference in numbers is huge. Havoc's forces number 1300, which is a respectable army size, but the enemy in total is over 2000. Rather than risk an attack on the city, Havoc resorts to a different tactic. He encamps his army outside the city, and begins tactics to try and lure the enemy out.

And it works. The enemy garrison is drawn out, and will attack Havoc. Now if Havoc can simply defeat them outside their walls, he can take the city at his leisure.

Havoc readies his men on a hill just outside of town. He has them setup in a huge defensive line, with every flank guarded. Behind them Havoc has his artillery ready, and will finally make good use of some cannister rounds or whatever that spread shot it.

And here comes the Baravians. They are the less threatening force, composed of mostly firelock citizens, but also some regulars among their troops.

Arriving as reinforcements, the Wurtemberg army arrives. They are almost all line infantry, with some cavalry mixed in. They are the big fish, in terms of enemies at least.

And the enemy closes in. The Wurtemberg cavalry is the first, but with no openings in Havoc's defenses, they are shot to pieces.

The battle proper beings. The Baravians form battle lines, and engage Havoc's infantry. However, Havoc's Line Infantry rape their shit, while his spread shot artillery literally blows holes in their lines.

The Baravians are almost at their limit, but as they reach it, Wurtemberg's army gets close.

Not being able to hold the line, the Baravians route.

More Wurtemberg cavalry run to their doom, looking for holes, but only finding bullets.

Havoc orders his own cavalry in, chasing down the routing Baravians. He himself helps lead the chase.

The Wurtemberg army arrives. Part 2 of the battle is about to begin.

Wurtemberg charges my lines, hoping to break me.

But Havoc's army is an army full of Veterans, with superior defenses, and a great general. They easily throw the enemy back.

Look at these cowards run!

Meanwhile, some horses just pass by my dudes and not a single fuck was given.

With both enemy armies in shambles, Havoc's forces begin their march, to finish them off.

Heroic Victory.

In one of his biggest victories ever, Havoc defeated both armies, killing 1600 men out of 2200, while only losing 300 of his own. Munich is as good as mine now, Havoc simply needs to storm it, and take care of the few surviving men.

Havoc gets ready to storm the city. He demands a surrender, but they refuse.

The snow has already started fallen, now that preparations for attack have been finish. Havoc gets his forces ready.

He shoots a hole in the wall, and positions his men to go through. He has his men play it safe, and rather than filter through a tiny hole, to stand there and exchange fire with the other side first.

After opening up another hole in the wall, Havoc sends troops through it, looking to encircle all the defending enemies on the inside.

Havocs troops are in, and form battle lines. The city is all but captured.

Meanwhile, a cool group of 5 dudes stand around and watch Havoc take the city.

Perhaps they are drunk, but they get the idea in their head that they should go and stop me from capturing the city. I have the capture circle, and they just need to hold that! So they run and run!

But they don't make it. Heroic Victory. Havoc is so amused by this drunken band of dudes that he has them beheaded, and sticks their heads on a spike on the city gates.

Munich is captured, and with very little loss of life on my end.

And the yearly Austrian rebellion.

Meanwhile, back in Poland, Elem finally is getting a proper army around him. He gathers together his troops, and takes care of a Russian raiding party.

And, just like last time, Echo is there to finish the deal. Echo also is forming his own army around him now. Soon, both Echo and Elem will have the strength to help with the invasion of Russia. Kaal's army is now in Poland, and close to making his first move.

Kaal finally invades the Ukraine, and besieges Kiev. The city is barely defended at all. Kaal demands their surrender, lest he burn the city and kill everyone inside it.

They shit their pants, and surrender. And thus, the conquest of Russia begins.

The Russian Line Infantry that was just outside of town is caught in the ass by Kaal's army. Apparently they didn't expect the city to just surrender.

And they are defeated. With the capture of Kiev, the incursions into Poland should probably stop soon. Kaal will get ready to march on Moscow, with all the strength of his army. EchoTwo will be charged with sweeping the south of Russia, and driving the Russians out of all the areas around the Black Sea. Elem is ordered to sweep their north, going through St. Petersberg and the lands bordering Sweden. While it is important to capture each city, King Sentenal tells them their objective is NOT the conquest of Russia, but the Destruction of Russia's government. These bitches will pay for refusing my friendship, and randomly declaring war on me.

EchOne

United States2906 Posts

July 06 2012 16:17 GMT

#58

Rofl Five Guys.

Sentenal

United States12398 Posts

July 09 2012 20:15 GMT

#59

Part 18

Okay, so last time Havoc was leading the invasion of the Lesser German states in the West, Kaal and my two new generals were invading Russia, and Nagisama was in charge of keeping Austria under control. Austria rebels all the fucking time, so Nagi keeps having to fight these guys.

And just auto-resolve these battles. Its a really annoying mechanic in this game.

Nagi was unable to kill them all, and can't catch up, so gonna have to finish them in winter.

Die.

And they die.

Except not really!!! Still alive!!! Fuck these guys! They die for realz this time.

EchoTwo has finally started his march towards Russia. Both he and Elem have about 900 men under their command. Echo was able to intercept a Russian raiding party on his march. With this, hopefully it will be the last Russian raiding party that is able to make it into Poland.

Havoc, meanwhile, is mopping up troops around Munich. The Bavarians are broken, their capitol is lost. Their only remaining territory is the Rhineland, which they took from Hannover, who conquered it decades ago.

Kaal's march has brought him straight to Moscow. The Russian army here is really weak. Almost entirely firelock citizens. Kaal pauses to wonder what the fuck such a big, weak country like this is doing, picking a fight with Prussia, when they can't even defend their capitol. Auto-resolve, and Moscow falls.

Meanwhile, the Mughal Empire is destroyed. They were some Indian country. We were trading partners I think, so I'm gonna have to find someone new soon.

I send an Envoy to Sweden for trade. They agree.

Finally, Elem the Black arrives at St. Petersburg. His sweep of North Russia is about to begin. Numbers wise, Elem is outnumbered, but half of their dudes are firelock armed citizens. Should be ok.

Elem demands their surrender, but they refuse.

The Russians take positions on the opposite side of the city to the West. Elem takes position on the East.

The Russians start running around, moving towards the South.

Elem's Line Infantry move that way as well, while he sends his militia units through the city to attack the Russian cannons.

The Russian cannons get caught alone, and are fucked.

Meanwhile, Elem's line infantry units catch some Russian horse in the field.

The Russians are very disorderly, and Elem's infantry begin to pound them.

There are infantry to the main line's rear, but Elem has his reserves take care of them. The Russian main lines begins to weaken, and break, as Militia units finally come up on their rear.

With an attack from two sides, the Russians won't last much longer.

And the Russians start to flee.

During the fighting, the Russian General is killed.

Heroic Victory. St. Petersburg is now mine.

Elem the Black lost only about 200 men, compared to all 1k people on the Russian side. A good victory for the start of his conquest.

Meanwhile, in the South, in Crimea, EchoTwo's army is met by a Russian army of equal strength. Seems the Russians intended to start a counter attack from the South. Maybe this is their last strong city?

Echo readies his troops. The Russians will be coming soon. He places his new horse cannon dude in the center. Maybe since I can actually move them now, cannons will become useful in battle! So far I've only been able to make use of them on the defensive, or in sieges.

Russian AI suicides their cavalry.

While the main Russian lines march up, whats left of their cavalry run around and try for a flank. Echo reorganizes his troops to respond.

They hold them off, and the line battles begin.

Meanwhile, Echo puts his cavalry into play, sending them to chase down routing troops. Gotta kill as many of them as possible, to make the eventual siege of Crimea's capitol easier.

And the Russians break before Echo's army.

With only their cannons left, who were firing these cool "we burst into big ass flames and do no damage" shells, the remaining Russians are mopped up. Heroic Victory for EchoTwo.

Most of the Russian army lay dead, and Echo still has most of his army. The march continues.

Echo catches the remnants of the army he just defeated, and wipes them out.

Meanwhile, Kaal is trying to get Moscow under control. While the goal of this invasion is the destruction of Russia's government, that also involves not letting them take back control of Moscow. Kaal will stay in this area for another year or so, to get things in order. Kaal marches out to defeat a small Russian army.

A rebellion in Muscovy. This is where Moscow is. Also one in Austria. I really hate national capitols.

EchoTwo finally reaches the regional capitol of Crimea, somereallylongweirdassnamethatimnotgonnatype. And EchoTwo begins his first siege! Echo's army is much more powerful, so this shouldn't be tough.

Echo demands a surrender, but they refuse. Time to storm the city.

Echo deploys his forces North of the city. This area may be Russian, but certainly doesn't look it. Echo laughs at Havoc's misfortune, of having to sweep Northern Russia's cold wilderness, while he gets flat grasslands.

Even cities down here look different than what I expect. This looks like it would fit better in the middle east.

Echo opens fire with his cannons. The battle begins.

Through a side gate, the Russians send out their cavalry.

Echo sends his own spear cavalry after them, and routes them easily.

Apparently this was the general's bodyguard unit, and they are fucked.

Meanwhile, Echo's infantry have closed in on the city, and are spider-manning up the walls.

The Russians sneak yet another cavalry unit out, this time they are going straight for Echo's bodyguard unit! Defend yourself, EchoTwo!

Echo's unit is directly attacked, and his Lancer Cavalry are slow in getting there.

But Echo's unit wins, and routes the enemy cavalry! EchoTwo resolves not to meet his end as early as his Father did.

Meanwhile, on the walls, the melee is growing. Prussian Infantry are growing in numbers on the wall, and the Russians are beginning to get overwhelmed.

There are melees all over it, especially on the stairs of the wall.

Prussian units successfully surround their defenders, and take control of the gate.

Surrounded, it is only a matter of time before the wall is completely Echo's.

Elsewhere, infantry on top of the wall take up firing positions, and being killing those below them.

With the Walls and Gates under my control, Echo's men march into the castle, form firing lines, and begin shooting the remaining enemies.

Somehow, that was a close victory. Whatever.

Crimea is now mine! After all of these battles, EchoTwo's strenght is about half of what it was originally, so he will take a short break to replenish his numbers, and then continue his march. Half of Russia is now mine. This is how Hitler should have done it. Russia too ez.

Nagisama

Canada4481 Posts

July 12 2012 17:20 GMT

#60

I appear to have lost 1 unit of my Rosenritter, sad.

YODA_

593 Posts

July 12 2012 18:38 GMT

#61

Why do you never, ever, ever lose a battle? Kind of makes it not very exciting. I understand the AI can be pretty terrible, I used to play Rome, and pulled off some ludicrous victories, but I also played very slowly and only engaged when I had an advantage. Even still I would lose occasionally to getting caught out, or by having a random army show up on a flank declare war, and then start sieging some city.

Nagisama

Canada4481 Posts

July 12 2012 19:36 GMT

#62

On July 13 2012 03:38 YODA_ wrote:
Why do you never, ever, ever lose a battle? Kind of makes it not very exciting. I understand the AI can be pretty terrible, I used to play Rome, and pulled off some ludicrous victories, but I also played very slowly and only engaged when I had an advantage. Even still I would lose occasionally to getting caught out, or by having a random army show up on a flank declare war, and then start sieging some city.

Computer AI is pretty terrible. Only time I've lost vs the AI is when we're even numbers, and I'm attacking a fortified city, and I decide to autoresolve. However, if you decide to do the actual battle, it's really hard to lose.

Sentenal

United States12398 Posts

July 12 2012 19:44 GMT

#63

I think its probably because I didn't set the Campaign difficulty high enough when I started the game. I didn't know how hard the game was at the time, and just left it on normal. I'm able to change the battle difficulty, but not the overall campaign difficulty. Thus, I haven't had computers randomly declaring war on me and invading with giant stacks all that much. From what I understand now, Empire is infamous within the Total War franchise for having really bad AI. Thus far, when I've had a country randomly declared war on me, and attack, look at what strength they attacked with, and what I had around. Austria attacked Berlin without warning early on, but I had plenty of units around to deal with that. Poland invaded East Prussia, but literally surrounded themselves TWICE. Russia attacked Minsk without warning, and that battle SHOULD have been hard, but then they tried to invade a house with cavalry, and wasted like half their battle strength.

In my current save, I've lost some cities, but honestly the only reason I lost them was because I didn't care enough to keep them. Right now, unless there is some random amphibious invasion, the only places that would randomly declare war on me and invade are the Ottomans, Sweden, or France. The Ottomans and Swedes could do some damage, but I have a good relationship with them. The French would have to go through one of my 9 Star Generals, and I don't think that would work out for them.

KazeHydra

Japan2788 Posts

July 13 2012 04:48 GMT

#64

On July 13 2012 04:36 Nagisama wrote:

Show nested quote +

Don't lie Nagi, this is obviously just a result of commanding the Rosenritter.

Nagisama

Canada4481 Posts

July 13 2012 04:53 GMT

#65

On July 13 2012 13:48 KazeHydra wrote:

Show nested quote +

Don't lie Nagi, this is obviously just a result of commanding the Rosenritter.

I'm sad, I appear to have lost a regiment of my Rosenritter from the latest screenshots. That and my army takes a ton of casualties...

Sentenal

United States12398 Posts

July 13 2012 14:21 GMT

#66

Nagi, both of your Rosenritter regiments are alive, but I think I left them garrisoning some cities due to losses they took. I should probably make them rejoin a proper army...

Part 19

Russia is being invaded, yet somehow a Russian raiding party made their way into Poland. I don't have any proper armies around to deal with it, but my city garrisons will do.

Down in the South, a fleet from Venice has blockaded one of my ports. This is limiting my trade, and pissing me off. Looks like they just have 1 unit, but 1 unit of ships of the same class of mine can't beat them. So I've spent some time the past year building a tiny fleet nearby. I finally sail my fleet, and fight my first naval battle of the game! Although, Nagisama said naval battles suck so I'll just let the computer handle this.

WHAT THE FUCK, FUCK BOATS. THEY HAVE ONE FUCKING UNIT HOW TEH HELL DID THEY WIN FUCK YOU VENICE I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL BURN YOUR CITY DOWN AND KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU JUST YOU WATCH.
So. Boats are really dumb. But I know a way to free my port. I just have to sack Venice.

Meanwhile, a Roman Bishop Priest guy has wanted up into Germany. Spazer immediately goes after the Catholic Priest, and tries to murder him. However, it fails. This pisses off Spazer greatly.

Nagisama meanwhile marches on some Austrian rebels. Nagisama, look. Both of your Rosenritter regiments are alive and well. Its just one is split up from the other.

Meanwhile, I try and setup some trade, this time with the tiny country of Savoy. IDK where they are, but I want them to give me money. However, these little SOBs kept trying to give me counter-offers, asking for my money, asking for my technology, asking for RANDOM ASS POLISH CITIES, for shit like Militiary passage... And NO trade. So, after repeated counter-offers, I tell them to fuck themselves.

Now I send an envoy to the Barbary States. While in the past they were annoying, and my people hated them, thats different now. Might as well trade, right? They agree.

I send an Envoy to Denmark, and request trade with them. Perhaps under the influence of their secret ruler Dingotrold, they immediately tell me to fuck myself. Is that so? I won't forget this.

So I try the French. Maybe they will shit themselves at my terrifying power, and agree to trade. Now, this seems like it should be an important thing to remember, but I don't actually remember if they agree or not. At the very last, I don't hate them like I do Denmark, so maybe they did...?

Some boats from Venice hunt down my last boat. Fuck boats.

Back in Russia, Kaal is leading his army around, dealing with Russian rebels.

EchoTwo's army has regained a bit of its strength, so he continues his expedition against Russia. Hes at Cherkassk. Echo immediately hates the name of this place. He demands their surrender.

And surrender they do. That will make things a big easier for me.

Meanwhile, Kaal engages another Russian Rebel army.

Having replenished much of his strength, WreakHavoc is on the march again, going towards Wurremburg. They have an army of about 1000 men in my territory. Havoc engages their army.

Havoc's units are full and ready.

The enemy has setup a long line of defensive fortifications to the East.

Havoc begins his attack. He orders his troops to spread out and form lines. The enemy is coming to meet him, and with his numbers, he can afford to spread out his guys for longer firing lines.

Wurremburg decided to leave one of their cannon units undefended, so Havoc orders his cavalry to run them down.

Meanwhile, on the Southern part of the battle, lines are being formed, and the real battle is about to begin.

And my dudes start shooting them in their face.

On the northern part of their lines, they turned some units to go after my cavalry that attacked their cannons. But when they do this, my line infantry catch them on their sides.

With my lines fully formed, the enemy begins to break.

While they are collapsing on the South, their Northern dudes have grouped, and begin putting up a fight.

But its not much longer until they run too.

Heroic Victory.

Was a pretty crushing victory. Barely any of them survive.

Spazer, meanwhile, continues his war against that Catholic Priest. Turn after turn, he tries to assassinate him, but this must be some anti-assassination priest.

Havoc occupies a town in Wurremburg, before pressing onwards. However, a Wurremburg army comes to engage him. While this army itself isn't threatening, they are getting reinforcements from their main army, so Havoc will be outnumbered slightly.

Havoc chooses the tactic he used when he took Munich. He readies his forces on a hill, and prepares to defend against the enemy.

The enemy army is here, but is setup, and ready to march, as reinforcements continue to arrive.

And they have arrived in mass. They form lines, and get ready to march on Havoc's position.

However, Havoc's troops give zero fucks. They have a 9 star general leading them, and they got a shit load of moral.

And so the battle begins.

They direct most of the strength towards the Northern part of my lines, which is wise. Havoc's cannons setup at his center blast holes into the enemy attacking there with his cool cannister shells.

However, Havoc is able to get a better angle on them at the North.

Meanwhile, the enemy attempts a flank, however Havoc deployed a rear guard just in case this happened.

In a last ditch effort to break me, the Wurremburg army charges Havoc's lines.

It doesn't work, and Havoc's veteran army sends most of them routing.

Their final regiments stand firm, but against Havoc's numbers, it won't be long before they flee.

And now they begin to shit their pants and run away.

Heroic victory.

Havoc won! After these two battles, his strength is less than half of what it was at the beginning, but Wurremburg is almost on its knees. This victory will drive out most of the defenders from their capitol, which will make conquering the city much easier.

Nagisama

Canada4481 Posts

July 20 2012 15:25 GMT

#67

Oh good, both my Rosenritter units are strong and well then :D.

Sentenal

United States12398 Posts

July 23 2012 20:06 GMT

#68

Part 20

Its been a while, sry. I blame #tladt for not posting for not posting in this thread for a week to keep me going.

Havoc is fighting in Wurremburg, and I have 3 Generals conquering Russia. Nagisama is left in Austria, to deal with rebellions. Thats the current state of affairs. However, while Nagisama is in Austria to deal with Rebellions, a new Rebellion in Crimea has no close General. EchoTwo has moved on to the next city, leaving only some militia behind to defend it.

Anyway, Nagisama goes and puts down the Austria Rebellion.

Surprisingly, the rebels in Crimea aren't Russian! Apparently, Russia conquered Crimea sometime in the past, and I came in as liberators... Or so I would like to think, but they see me as 2nd Invaders, and see a chance to restore their country. The Militia in the city hastily make ready for the coming siege, as they have both quality and numbers on me.

Meanwhile, in Wurremburg, while Havoc was giving his army a break, a tiny force attacks, with some Baravia assistance. Even with all this, it wasn't much of a battle, so Havoc easily defeats them.

Kupon3ss, the leader EchoTwo left behind to organize the militia in Crimea, has readied as many units as he can. He recruited another militia unit, giving him at least comparable numbers to the rebels.

Kupo puts most of his forces on the walls, while he deploys another unit right before the front gate, behind defensive anti-bullet... things.

The enemy starts marching, but then Kupo realizes something. They have no cannons. They are mostly on horseback. This battle won't be hard afterall. Kupo thinks "These retards must be related to Caller, otherwise why would they use such a shitty unit type?"

The enemy is closing in on the guards below the wall. The militia open fire, and the men on the wall prepare to shoot them as well.

Rather than futily sitting there and having a shooting match, the Crimeas charge the gate guards, and try to break them. The melee has the guards at a disadvantage, but 3 groups of milita on the wall keep shooting at them, providing great support.

When they are defeated, Kupo wins a Decisive Victory, since there is no way horses can spiderman over walls.

The Rebels took a big blow, and Kupo only lost 15 men.

Meanwhile, Kaal continues his march. He reachs the city of Kazan, in Tatariya. We have now reached the point of Russia that no one outside of Russia knows about. Kaal has a massive advantage here, and demands a surrender. They accept.

Shortly after their surrender, Kaal launches an attack on a Russian army that was trying to pass through. They are easily crushed.

Meanwhile, Havoc gets ready to finish off Wurremburg. Their city is defended entirely by Firelock Armed Citizens. This won't be much of a battle.

Havoc gets his forces ready to march.

There are tons of dudes on the wall, but they all suck. Havoc allows his cannons to continue to shoot holes into the wall before advancing any farther.

Cannon fire causes a section of wall to explode, killing all the retards who just stood on top of it.

The Wall is breached. My forces begin their assault. One group scaled the section on wall thats like... Poking out, and crossed the bridge to the main part. The rest begin to attack the breach in the wall. In the fighting, the enemy commander is killed.

Havoc's men have taken the wall, and begin shooting the people below them.

Lots of Prussian dudes are inside now. Battle almost over.

The last Wurremburg defends guard the city's capture point, but before Prussian Line Infantry, they won't last long.

Heroic Victory.

Havoc wins, and Wurremburg is now mine! All that is left is for Havoc to replenish his troops, and finish off Baravia.

Ooooooh, it was Wurttemburg. Silly Europeans, and their country names.

Crimea rebels are on the move again. While they have learned their lesson, and are not assaulting the city, Kupon3ss has the option of marching out to intercept them. While he has increased the number of his troops, he only has two line infantry regiments now, so decide to remain in the city walls.

Rebellions! I think that one of these is Moscow, and the other is another random Russian city. Austria didn't rebel, thank God. Looks like Nagisama is free to march pretty soon!

EchoTwo continues his march. He attacks the city of Astrakham, located in the middle of nowhere.

Echo offers a surrender to them, but they refuse his mercy. Battle, starto.

Uhh, this place looks like it would fit more in the middle east than Russia.

Land is mostly flat. Will be a mostly straight forward fight. Echo marches his units toward the enemy.

They have cannons, but so does Echo. Anyway, Echo's forces lineup, and start doing their thing.

Unable to hold the line, the Russians begin to flee.

Few are left to fight, the battle is almost over.

Heroic victory.

And Echo has succeeded in country random Russian city in the middle of nowhere. Not much left of Russia. I think about 3 cities left.

Kaal continues to march, Echo has one more city in his sights, and Elem's long, long march through the North Russian Wilderness will soon be coming to a close. However, in quick march to completely destroy the Russian Empire, many cities have been left undefended, with rebellions popping up. Meanwhile, Nagisama prepares to march on Venice. In a drunken stupor, Nagisama, says that he will leave the Rosenritter in Austria, in case they decide to rise up again.

EchOne

United States2906 Posts

July 23 2012 22:52 GMT

#69

I see I've reached the Caspian Sea. The ends of the earth are but too small for the mighty Prussian Empire!

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