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[Let's Play] Empire: Total War, #tladt edition

Blogs > Sentenal
Post a Reply
Sentenal
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
United States12398 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-06-17 08:15:12
June 17 2012 07:52 GMT
#1
I'm bored. And I've never actually played a campaign in this game out to its conclusion before. So, I've decided to attempt a "Let's Play" for Empire: Total War. I've never done one of these before, so bear with me. Lots of Screenshots are included.

[image loading]


Empire Total War, set in 1700, where you pick a country in Europe, or the Americas, or like... India or something. And then you battle it out! This game, in case you don't know, has both a management aspect to it, similar to the Civilization Series, and then a tactical aspect of it, when you fight your battles and control your units. I'm going to be doing the Grand Campaign. What nation do I want? There are a ton, but you know what? I'm going with Prussia.
[image loading]

Why Prussia? Well let me tell you why. Eventually, Space Prussians are going to conquer the entire Galaxy. So that means that before Space Prussians can conquer the galaxy, they gotta conquer Europe first! So thats the plan.

I have no idea how hard this game is, so I'm not going to touch the difficulty settings. Playing on Normal, on a Long Campaign.

Okay, here is my country:
[image loading]

Prussia. I have two territories, except they are split. Why? I got no idea why Prussia is split. WTF History, this doesn't make sense. Poland-Lithuania controls the territory of "West Prussia", which divides my land. Fuck those guys.

[image loading]
Here is my ruler. Sentenal I, King of Prussia. Look at that sexy hair oh my god, Europe is just begging to get raped! I'm an "Enlightened Despot", "I correspond with the Learned", "Believer in Name Only", and "Obessive".... Shit, sounds like I'm a <insert derogatory slur here>. WELL I DON'T GIVE A FUCK, CUZ I GOT THESE TWO SEXY BASTARDS TO WORK FOR ME:

[image loading]
General Kaal, who commands my army in Berlin. Kaal is a sexy 24 year old who wears a wig to make him look twice that age. He is a "Riding Master", a "Prussian Officer", "Darling of the Gutter Press" (lolwtf), a "Superior General", and a "Petty Tyrant". Hes a Superior General. Kaal is gonna fuck some people up pretty soon.

My other general is:
[image loading]
General EchOne. The first to answer my call for a General in #tladt, Echo is a bro. Note that he looks exactly like Kaal, except hes like double Kaal's age. This is because Echo is such a badass, that Kaal wants to be like him. Check this dude's traits out: "Brave Soldier", "Attacking General", "Superior General", "Little Sergent", and "Drillmaster". Echo is stationed in East Prussia, so with my current game plan, the work ahead of him seems alot tougher than the work I have planned for General Kaal.

So, lets get the game going! First turn, mostly uneventful. Majority of money spend on buying new dudes with guns in both cities. King Sentenal has his eyes set on Saxony, the territory directly to the south of Berlin. It will be General Kaal's first campaign, and I need his army to be a full strength.
[image loading]

End of the first turn arrives, and I get an envoy:
[image loading]

Some rich dude wants to trade with me. Ok, IDK where that country even is.

I also get an Envoy from Great Britian:
[image loading]

They want to trade, AND give me money for agreeing to it! Fuck yeah, thanks Britian. Free money is always good.


Another un-eventful turn passes, and General Kaal's army is at reasonable strength. Time to make my move.
[image loading]

FUCK YOU SAXONY. They are allied with Poland-Lithuania. That is the bigger cause for concern here. But not really since fuck those guys. Once I invade Saxony, West Prussia is going to be in danger, but also it gives me the excuse to invade East Prussia. So lets do this.

I declare war, and Kaal besieges Dresden. Forces are equally matched, number wise, so I continue the siege of the city.

Meanwhile:
[image loading]
General EchOne has invaded West Prussia. The Attacker General lives up to his name. And just look at the difference in battle strength here! Fuck putting up a siege, just gonna rape these dudes.

Battle of West Prussia

Deployment:
[image loading]
As you can see, its a cold winter, and its in the middle of a storm. But EchOne doesn't give a fuck. He arranges all his forces out in one big ass long line.

[image loading]
"MARCH FORWARD" he yells, so they all march forward, through the tree-lines, towards the tiny Polish army. The cannons are shelling them, and they form up together, maybe to try and break through my line?

[image loading]
But no, they are already getting en-circled. This is going to be a slaughter.

[image loading]
In a show of COMPLETELY unnecessary badassery, Echo orders his Cavalry to just attack, charging straight into Polish.

[image loading]
But it worked. The cavalry charged has routed each enemy group! The battle is all but won, all thats left is to run them down.

[image loading]
Victory! But you know what, I think these guys need to die more. Continue the battle! IDK why this is an option, but maybe if I kill them all, then Poland won't be able to use them against me in the future.

[image loading]
STOP RUNNING AWAY YOU LITTLE BASTARDS

[image loading]
Okay, I don't even know what the fuck happened here. Apparently one of my Cannon units got routed. Maybe they routed themselves or something. The enemy was never even close to these guys!!!

[image loading]
The Enemy General is killed while trying to flee. Echo has shown this dude the power of true courage. "You cannot expect to win a battle by running!" he says, mounting the enemy general's head on a spike.

[image loading]
Decisive Victory. This wasn't even much of a battle.

With how easy this battle was, I wonder if I should increase the difficulty? Or if its even possible after the game has started. Well, I guess the next few battles will tell if I should or not. Echo DID after all, follow the "Yang Wenli Guide to certain victory":
[image loading]]

[image loading]
Echo only lost 24 men, while killing all 240 enemy soldiers. West Prussia is now mine, and Prussia is now one, continuous country.


But whats going on back at Dresden? Its almost 1702, and decisive battle for Saxony is just on the horizon... Tune back in when I can upload more pictures!

****
"Apparently, Sentenal is a paragon of friendship and tolerance. " - Ech0ne
Zergneedsfood
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
United States10671 Posts
June 17 2012 13:55 GMT
#2
I WANT TO BE AN AGENT! :D
/人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\ Make a contract with me and join TLADT | Onodera isn't actually a girl, she's just a doormat you walk over to get to the girl. - Numy 2015
BLinD-RawR
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
ALLEYCAT BLUES50119 Posts
June 17 2012 14:40 GMT
#3
LPs always net a 5/5 from me.
Brood War EICWoo Jung Ho, never forget.| Twitter: @BLinDRawR
TL+ Member
EchOne
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
United States2906 Posts
June 17 2012 17:12 GMT
#4
Fuck yeah cavalry charges. I have the biggest grin on my face right now.
面白くない世の中, 面白くすればいいさ
Thratur
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Canada917 Posts
June 17 2012 20:03 GMT
#5
I want to be an enemy general! One with a big stack!
GMarshal
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States22154 Posts
June 17 2012 20:49 GMT
#6
I love lets plays!
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