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i've been pretty deppressed so here it goes.
+ Show Spoiler +i have a ton of acquaintances but i have no real good friends. the only people who hang out with me do it because they think "wow this guy's so pro at games" and don't really care about anything else. i'm a friendly guy who's pretty funny, sadly i'm socially awkward around chicks and not good looking. that's a fucking terrible combo if you're looking to have a life.
people say you're supposed to be proud of being a gamer, i'm not. i don't want to be recognized as a gamer guy, i want to be normal and hang out with friends. but hell, i'm not ever talked to other then "lets game yo" because they think it's too social for me and that i like staying home gaming all day. when you talk to people socially the best thing to do is connect, and that's all i can do. i'm actually pretty cool to talk to and i can make people laugh, but all i am is a gamer. during my birthday on facebook people are like "HBD BRO, GAME HARD!". fucking annoys the shit out of me. i game because i have nothing else to do. i've never turned down going outside with friends for gaming, i don't consider myself addicted. when you have nothing else to do with a computer what's an average teenager going to do
the only real friend who likes hanging out with me is gone this summer, so i've been doing nothing. look at the people who get picked on at school, they have friends because they can connect with other uncool people and they develop friendship they seem pretty happy. but i'm too unapproachable for them and i'm too nerdy for the average guy. i'm always inbetween shit. am i athletic? decently athletic, not good not bad. am i smart? not dumb not super smart. i don't think i've ever had a friend in my life who was my best friend ever. i talk to lots of people but i'm never their first choice.
and one thing that really irks me is how i was talking to my good buddy and some guy randomly invited me to go to some mall. my friend was like "LOL WTF YOU'RE ACTUALLY GOING OUTSIDE? HAHAHAHAHA". of course he was joking, but that really shows how fuckin pathetic i am. and earlier this year i was outside and i saw him he was like " LOL YOU HAVE A LIFE WITHOUT ME?" he usually isn't a dick and he's really cool but i think that speaks for itself.
i consider myself pretty smart but who knows, maybe it's just an illusion and i'm dumb as shit.
i think i fucked up the only chance i ever had with a girl, now she's moved on. i have a massive ego when i play games, i need to be good otherwise i'm mad. i lose a game of sc2? fucking dipshit 4gated me, i'm better then he is. i also think i'm better then people irl at certain things and i get mad easily. i guess i'm just not a good guy to hang around
i guess you can call me a guy w/o a life. i have like the least amount of friends on facebook, i'm unmotivated kinda and i haven't done anything this summer. one thing that really crawled into my brain is during this cruise that i was on for vacation. my cousin was there and we were playing some ball etc etc and then i wanted to go back and sleep since it was kinda late. he called me a "dud". i think that's when i realized how i really don't have a life.it may sound unreasonable but it really puts my summer in perspective now that i think about it. he said that i don't like to have fun, which is kind of true once i thought about it again. i didn't want to go on tours when we got off the cruise. i don't like travelling to other countries, i don't like visiting places, and if i were to choose between going camping and staying at home i would probably stay at home. am i lazy? unmotivated? not sure.
i'm also scrawny as shit, i'm 20 pounds below my healthy weight.
i'm not usually this depressed but when summer rolls around and people are doing stuff it really saddens me that i have nothing to do. when school rolls around hopefully i can do something again.
i'll probably read this again and be like "you're a fucking tard" but that's really how i feel atm, and i'm more then sure that this feeling will return sometime in the next 3 weeks.
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I've been lurking here for over a year
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On August 18 2010 10:20 idakeh wrote:i've been pretty deppressed so here it goes. + Show Spoiler +i have a ton of acquaintances but i have no real good friends. the only people who hang out with me do it because they think "wow this guy's so pro at games" and don't really care about anything else. i'm a friendly guy who's pretty funny, sadly i'm socially awkward around chicks and not good looking. that's a fucking terrible combo if you're looking to have a life.
people say you're supposed to be proud of being a gamer, i'm not. i don't want to be recognized as a gamer guy, i want to be normal and hang out with friends. but hell, i'm not ever talked to other then "lets game yo" because they think it's too social for me and that i like staying home gaming all day. when you talk to people socially the best thing to do is connect, and that's all i can do. i'm actually pretty cool to talk to and i can make people laugh, but all i am is a gamer. during my birthday on facebook people are like "HBD BRO, GAME HARD!". fucking annoys the shit out of me. i game because i have nothing else to do. i've never turned down going outside with friends for gaming, i don't consider myself addicted. when you have nothing else to do with a computer what's an average teenager going to do
the only real friend who likes hanging out with me is gone this summer, so i've been doing nothing. look at the people who get picked on at school, they have friends because they can connect with other uncool people and they develop friendship they seem pretty happy. but i'm too unapproachable for them and i'm too nerdy for the average guy. i'm always inbetween shit. am i athletic? decently athletic, not good not bad. am i smart? not dumb not super smart. i don't think i've ever had a friend in my life who was my best friend ever. i talk to lots of people but i'm never their first choice.
and one thing that really irks me is how i was talking to my good buddy and some guy randomly invited me to go to some mall. my friend was like "LOL WTF YOU'RE ACTUALLY GOING OUTSIDE? HAHAHAHAHA". of course he was joking, but that really shows how fuckin pathetic i am. and earlier this year i was outside and i saw him he was like " LOL YOU HAVE A LIFE WITHOUT ME?" he usually isn't a dick and he's really cool but i think that speaks for itself.
i consider myself pretty smart but who knows, maybe it's just an illusion and i'm dumb as shit.
i think i fucked up the only chance i ever had with a girl, now she's moved on. i have a massive ego when i play games, i need to be good otherwise i'm mad. i lose a game of sc2? fucking dipshit 4gated me, i'm better then he is. i also think i'm better then people irl at certain things and i get mad easily. i guess i'm just not a good guy to hang around
i guess you can call me a guy w/o a life. i have like the least amount of friends on facebook, i'm unmotivated kinda and i haven't done anything this summer. one thing that really crawled into my brain is during this cruise that i was on for vacation. my cousin was there and we were playing some ball etc etc and then i wanted to go back and sleep since it was kinda late. he called me a "dud". i think that's when i realized how i really don't have a life.it may sound unreasonable but it really puts my summer in perspective now that i think about it. he said that i don't like to have fun, which is kind of true once i thought about it again. i didn't want to go on tours when we got off the cruise. i don't like travelling to other countries, i don't like visiting places, and if i were to choose between going camping and staying at home i would probably stay at home. am i lazy? unmotivated? not sure.
i'm also scrawny as shit, i'm 20 pounds below my healthy weight.
i'm not usually this depressed but when summer rolls around and people are doing stuff it really saddens me that i have nothing to do. when school rolls around hopefully i can do something again. i'll probably read this again and be like "you're a fucking tard" but that's really how i feel atm, and i'm more then sure that this feeling will return sometime in the next 3 weeks.
I'm 21 years old and my situation has essentially become this over time. I was fairly normal in high school. I hung out with friends, played guitar in a band, got laid and partied some.
I've grown into a reclusive gamer/musician with nothing left in my immediate area. Your anger at losing and having a massive ego are also traits I share. I study online for my MBA, and can't leave home until I'm able to find consistent work somewhere.
My friends have left my area of 3k people for cities with work and opportunity. The only ones left have become so completely consumed with drugs, sex and the slacker lifestyle that they no longer interest me at all. I have in fact pushed them away because I don't feel like humoring them while they talk, while secretly wishing I could never speak to them again.
I get warm and fuzzy when I get a notification on Facebook, because I know it's one of my friends in a faraway place. I would love to hang out with someone that remotely shared my interests. I would love to have an intelligent conversation. Inside I know that new experiences await and life offers much, yet I can't find anyone I'd like to share them with. Partying doesn't hold much appeal for me anymore, and there's nothing else to do for fun here.
Every day the world seems to grow more and more bleak. There is this fear inside me that soon I will forget what 'new' feels like, that my life will fade to redundancy. Perhaps it already has.
I notice myself steering away from people in general over time as I've grown old enough to recognize the signs that they're generally worthless and am worried it may become this impassable wall if not kept in check. Over the last couple years, I have become a misanthrope.
You're not alone.
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In 6th grade the "cool" thing to do was trip people. Me and my buddy Justin were the "popular" kids, so we did this on a daily basis. We were so cool that we had not remorse tripping Timmy. Timmy was handy capped and had a condition where his wrists were stuck in a position where they were bent down (think of how you hands look while riding a high handlebar motorcycle). We tripped Timmy because he couldn't catch him self from falling due to this handy cap (easy prey).
At the end of the school year Timmy invited both me and Justin to his birthday party.
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On August 18 2010 10:20 idakeh wrote:i've been pretty deppressed so here it goes. + Show Spoiler +i have a ton of acquaintances but i have no real good friends. the only people who hang out with me do it because they think "wow this guy's so pro at games" and don't really care about anything else. i'm a friendly guy who's pretty funny, sadly i'm socially awkward around chicks and not good looking. that's a fucking terrible combo if you're looking to have a life.
people say you're supposed to be proud of being a gamer, i'm not. i don't want to be recognized as a gamer guy, i want to be normal and hang out with friends. but hell, i'm not ever talked to other then "lets game yo" because they think it's too social for me and that i like staying home gaming all day. when you talk to people socially the best thing to do is connect, and that's all i can do. i'm actually pretty cool to talk to and i can make people laugh, but all i am is a gamer. during my birthday on facebook people are like "HBD BRO, GAME HARD!". fucking annoys the shit out of me. i game because i have nothing else to do. i've never turned down going outside with friends for gaming, i don't consider myself addicted. when you have nothing else to do with a computer what's an average teenager going to do
the only real friend who likes hanging out with me is gone this summer, so i've been doing nothing. look at the people who get picked on at school, they have friends because they can connect with other uncool people and they develop friendship they seem pretty happy. but i'm too unapproachable for them and i'm too nerdy for the average guy. i'm always inbetween shit. am i athletic? decently athletic, not good not bad. am i smart? not dumb not super smart. i don't think i've ever had a friend in my life who was my best friend ever. i talk to lots of people but i'm never their first choice.
and one thing that really irks me is how i was talking to my good buddy and some guy randomly invited me to go to some mall. my friend was like "LOL WTF YOU'RE ACTUALLY GOING OUTSIDE? HAHAHAHAHA". of course he was joking, but that really shows how fuckin pathetic i am. and earlier this year i was outside and i saw him he was like " LOL YOU HAVE A LIFE WITHOUT ME?" he usually isn't a dick and he's really cool but i think that speaks for itself.
i consider myself pretty smart but who knows, maybe it's just an illusion and i'm dumb as shit.
i think i fucked up the only chance i ever had with a girl, now she's moved on. i have a massive ego when i play games, i need to be good otherwise i'm mad. i lose a game of sc2? fucking dipshit 4gated me, i'm better then he is. i also think i'm better then people irl at certain things and i get mad easily. i guess i'm just not a good guy to hang around
i guess you can call me a guy w/o a life. i have like the least amount of friends on facebook, i'm unmotivated kinda and i haven't done anything this summer. one thing that really crawled into my brain is during this cruise that i was on for vacation. my cousin was there and we were playing some ball etc etc and then i wanted to go back and sleep since it was kinda late. he called me a "dud". i think that's when i realized how i really don't have a life.it may sound unreasonable but it really puts my summer in perspective now that i think about it. he said that i don't like to have fun, which is kind of true once i thought about it again. i didn't want to go on tours when we got off the cruise. i don't like travelling to other countries, i don't like visiting places, and if i were to choose between going camping and staying at home i would probably stay at home. am i lazy? unmotivated? not sure.
i'm also scrawny as shit, i'm 20 pounds below my healthy weight.
i'm not usually this depressed but when summer rolls around and people are doing stuff it really saddens me that i have nothing to do. when school rolls around hopefully i can do something again. i'll probably read this again and be like "you're a fucking tard" but that's really how i feel atm, and i'm more then sure that this feeling will return sometime in the next 3 weeks.
I was like this for most of my life up until recently. It really sucks. Try starting up random conversations on facebook or something, it's a good way to make new friends.
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On August 18 2010 12:11 Plair E wrote:
In 6th grade the "cool" thing to do was trip people. Me and my buddy Justin were the "popular" kids, so we did this on a daily basis. We were so cool that we had not remorse tripping Timmy. Timmy was handy capped and had a condition where his wrists were stuck in a position where they were bent down (think of how you hands look while riding a high handlebar motorcycle). We tripped Timmy because he couldn't catch him self from falling due to this handy cap (easy prey).
At the end of the school year Timmy invited both me and Justin to his birthday party.
Wow
Thats awful
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I dislike celebrating holidays, I find everyday I'm still alive a good enough reason to celebrate and take it easy.
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Most people don't know that I have a penis.
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On August 18 2010 12:11 Plair E wrote:
In 6th grade the "cool" thing to do was trip people. Me and my buddy Justin were the "popular" kids, so we did this on a daily basis. We were so cool that we had not remorse tripping Timmy. Timmy was handy capped and had a condition where his wrists were stuck in a position where they were bent down (think of how you hands look while riding a high handlebar motorcycle). We tripped Timmy because he couldn't catch him self from falling due to this handy cap (easy prey).
At the end of the school year Timmy invited both me and Justin to his birthday party.
on a similar note, early on in my school life I used to get bullied by people like you used to be.
later on in my school life, I regularly hunted and mauled people like you used to be (much easier to do in Bangladesh without repercussions)
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My name is Cofo, and I run yellow lights.
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On August 18 2010 10:20 idakeh wrote:i've been pretty deppressed so here it goes. + Show Spoiler +i have a ton of acquaintances but i have no real good friends. the only people who hang out with me do it because they think "wow this guy's so pro at games" and don't really care about anything else. i'm a friendly guy who's pretty funny, sadly i'm socially awkward around chicks and not good looking. that's a fucking terrible combo if you're looking to have a life.
people say you're supposed to be proud of being a gamer, i'm not. i don't want to be recognized as a gamer guy, i want to be normal and hang out with friends. but hell, i'm not ever talked to other then "lets game yo" because they think it's too social for me and that i like staying home gaming all day. when you talk to people socially the best thing to do is connect, and that's all i can do. i'm actually pretty cool to talk to and i can make people laugh, but all i am is a gamer. during my birthday on facebook people are like "HBD BRO, GAME HARD!". fucking annoys the shit out of me. i game because i have nothing else to do. i've never turned down going outside with friends for gaming, i don't consider myself addicted. when you have nothing else to do with a computer what's an average teenager going to do
the only real friend who likes hanging out with me is gone this summer, so i've been doing nothing. look at the people who get picked on at school, they have friends because they can connect with other uncool people and they develop friendship they seem pretty happy. but i'm too unapproachable for them and i'm too nerdy for the average guy. i'm always inbetween shit. am i athletic? decently athletic, not good not bad. am i smart? not dumb not super smart. i don't think i've ever had a friend in my life who was my best friend ever. i talk to lots of people but i'm never their first choice.
and one thing that really irks me is how i was talking to my good buddy and some guy randomly invited me to go to some mall. my friend was like "LOL WTF YOU'RE ACTUALLY GOING OUTSIDE? HAHAHAHAHA". of course he was joking, but that really shows how fuckin pathetic i am. and earlier this year i was outside and i saw him he was like " LOL YOU HAVE A LIFE WITHOUT ME?" he usually isn't a dick and he's really cool but i think that speaks for itself.
i consider myself pretty smart but who knows, maybe it's just an illusion and i'm dumb as shit.
i think i fucked up the only chance i ever had with a girl, now she's moved on. i have a massive ego when i play games, i need to be good otherwise i'm mad. i lose a game of sc2? fucking dipshit 4gated me, i'm better then he is. i also think i'm better then people irl at certain things and i get mad easily. i guess i'm just not a good guy to hang around
i guess you can call me a guy w/o a life. i have like the least amount of friends on facebook, i'm unmotivated kinda and i haven't done anything this summer. one thing that really crawled into my brain is during this cruise that i was on for vacation. my cousin was there and we were playing some ball etc etc and then i wanted to go back and sleep since it was kinda late. he called me a "dud". i think that's when i realized how i really don't have a life.it may sound unreasonable but it really puts my summer in perspective now that i think about it. he said that i don't like to have fun, which is kind of true once i thought about it again. i didn't want to go on tours when we got off the cruise. i don't like travelling to other countries, i don't like visiting places, and if i were to choose between going camping and staying at home i would probably stay at home. am i lazy? unmotivated? not sure.
i'm also scrawny as shit, i'm 20 pounds below my healthy weight.
i'm not usually this depressed but when summer rolls around and people are doing stuff it really saddens me that i have nothing to do. when school rolls around hopefully i can do something again. i'll probably read this again and be like "you're a fucking tard" but that's really how i feel atm, and i'm more then sure that this feeling will return sometime in the next 3 weeks.
I'm 19 and my life looks exactly like yours.
Basically after graduating I pushed every former classmate away from me in my own volition,but still I'm unable to find a reasonable meaning for it.
And by classmates I really mean a group of 5 selected guys I used to hang out with. Under their point of view we "were friends",under mine we were still classmates.
During school I used to go out with these fellas sometimes,but now I really feel like that "good time" we spent together was totally wasted,because they really didn't share anything with me,including lifestyle,interests,and whatnot.
That's why I've never had a true friendship with them,not because I was some asshol-ish backstabber,but because they were naturally different from what I am/was.
Well,I don't even know what a true friendship means anyway,never had one. But just by a wild guess I can clearly state that,for me,they were just "cool people",nothing else.
This summer has meant only mass gaming for me. I wake up at random hours and start gaming till I feel sleepy,with some biobreaks in between.
I don't feel like starting new relationships,I'm just too butthurt about the past, people I used to know where just a nuisance to me,always disturbing me when I wanted to relax a bit to invite me to some party of sorts (basically I relax all time,that's my ideal lifestyle,super lazy).
I hate getting out of my goddamn gaming room,let alone my house,it's like a friendly warm womb,and I want to brutally murder people that invade it,relatives included.
Lots of them during holidays came over to my place to ,you know,congratulate for my really good results in the graduation exam(got max going ,like,2 days a week to school,cuz it felt boring for me) ,and to give me some presents for the feat.
I didn't care one bit. I purposely slept all day to avoid them.
Interestingly enough,I went to 2 different cruise trips this year,one with my family (7 days of laying on the bed watching tv and browsing the net,while the others were enjoying the rest) and another one recently with my classmates. Well,unexpectedly I attended to activities,parties,went offshore and so on,but the whole ordeal felt like a chore.
At this age,I've still to date or kiss a girl. I tryed once with some smart girl I knew,got refused istantly,never gave thought to love interests again. I felt so bad that I got in this mindset that's not really worth the effort. Everytime I feel alone,I just masturbate to my former female classmates, then happily get back to my pc/xbox.
Lonelyness is just like a curable illness,I cure it with fapping.
And the worst thing of all,is that I don't really give a fucking shit. I just spend my whole days in gaming,without a second thought.And I enjoy it,a lot.
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I pee in the Shower 
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Well, this is my second post in this thread, so let's be a tad more serious.
I've lurked on forums for years and years, never to make a post. It took more months to finally start making posts that weren't 3 paragraphs long, though I still do it sometimes.
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On August 19 2010 00:43 bjornkavist wrote:I pee in the Shower
I do that too,every two weeks. Having showers takes time away from gaming. Eau de toilette works just as good.
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I recommended someone to GosuGamers instead of TeamLiquid. 
+ Show Spoiler +Don't worry, it was so he could get WC3 stuff. Not SC stuff. I'd never betray my beloved TeamLiquid!!!
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i read all the twilight books
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I sniff my finger after i wipe.
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I feel the need to unite everyone around me by making them hate me. After all, humans appearantly lack the ability of peace but have the ability to join up and fight against a common enemy. However I still play zerg and I don't feel like race switching.
I listen to racist music yet I don't feel the need to make some people feel bad about themselves just because they were born that way. However I don't hold back when some people actually live up to their steriotype and manages to severly cross my path and is being a dick to me.
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On August 18 2010 10:20 idakeh wrote:i've been pretty deppressed so here it goes. + Show Spoiler +i have a ton of acquaintances but i have no real good friends. the only people who hang out with me do it because they think "wow this guy's so pro at games" and don't really care about anything else. i'm a friendly guy who's pretty funny, sadly i'm socially awkward around chicks and not good looking. that's a fucking terrible combo if you're looking to have a life.
people say you're supposed to be proud of being a gamer, i'm not. i don't want to be recognized as a gamer guy, i want to be normal and hang out with friends. but hell, i'm not ever talked to other then "lets game yo" because they think it's too social for me and that i like staying home gaming all day. when you talk to people socially the best thing to do is connect, and that's all i can do. i'm actually pretty cool to talk to and i can make people laugh, but all i am is a gamer. during my birthday on facebook people are like "HBD BRO, GAME HARD!". fucking annoys the shit out of me. i game because i have nothing else to do. i've never turned down going outside with friends for gaming, i don't consider myself addicted. when you have nothing else to do with a computer what's an average teenager going to do
the only real friend who likes hanging out with me is gone this summer, so i've been doing nothing. look at the people who get picked on at school, they have friends because they can connect with other uncool people and they develop friendship they seem pretty happy. but i'm too unapproachable for them and i'm too nerdy for the average guy. i'm always inbetween shit. am i athletic? decently athletic, not good not bad. am i smart? not dumb not super smart. i don't think i've ever had a friend in my life who was my best friend ever. i talk to lots of people but i'm never their first choice.
and one thing that really irks me is how i was talking to my good buddy and some guy randomly invited me to go to some mall. my friend was like "LOL WTF YOU'RE ACTUALLY GOING OUTSIDE? HAHAHAHAHA". of course he was joking, but that really shows how fuckin pathetic i am. and earlier this year i was outside and i saw him he was like " LOL YOU HAVE A LIFE WITHOUT ME?" he usually isn't a dick and he's really cool but i think that speaks for itself.
i consider myself pretty smart but who knows, maybe it's just an illusion and i'm dumb as shit.
i think i fucked up the only chance i ever had with a girl, now she's moved on. i have a massive ego when i play games, i need to be good otherwise i'm mad. i lose a game of sc2? fucking dipshit 4gated me, i'm better then he is. i also think i'm better then people irl at certain things and i get mad easily. i guess i'm just not a good guy to hang around
i guess you can call me a guy w/o a life. i have like the least amount of friends on facebook, i'm unmotivated kinda and i haven't done anything this summer. one thing that really crawled into my brain is during this cruise that i was on for vacation. my cousin was there and we were playing some ball etc etc and then i wanted to go back and sleep since it was kinda late. he called me a "dud". i think that's when i realized how i really don't have a life.it may sound unreasonable but it really puts my summer in perspective now that i think about it. he said that i don't like to have fun, which is kind of true once i thought about it again. i didn't want to go on tours when we got off the cruise. i don't like travelling to other countries, i don't like visiting places, and if i were to choose between going camping and staying at home i would probably stay at home. am i lazy? unmotivated? not sure.
i'm also scrawny as shit, i'm 20 pounds below my healthy weight.
i'm not usually this depressed but when summer rolls around and people are doing stuff it really saddens me that i have nothing to do. when school rolls around hopefully i can do something again. i'll probably read this again and be like "you're a fucking tard" but that's really how i feel atm, and i'm more then sure that this feeling will return sometime in the next 3 weeks.
A lot of students struggle with a life like this. High school is incredibly harsh to many - people make some random opinion about you when you're very young and it never changes over the years, sticking you in a social clique that you don't like and leaving you with little to enjoy during high school. The thing you can look forward to is college because many grow out of that.
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EPT
