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I love how most guys here just criticize PUA community because they think, deep inside of themselves, that they'll never be able to pick up hot girls. Well, you are wrong, but yeah, keeping on thinking like that and just keeping safe on your comfort zone, fooling yourselves being close minded and thinking that you won't be able to do that or thinking that won't work and it's just a way of getting on people's money won't help you.
You know what? Yeah, it is a way of getting on people's money. Of course. But if you just use common sense it really works. You just have to find the right way to use this. I understand that it's hard to believe... until you see it. Suddenly you see someone doing it so easy, and your mind will change forever.
I discovered this 4 years ago. Thanks to this I had my first relationship and then I had lots of experiences with women than I could never had imagine.
I recommend you all Tyler Durden's/RSD Superconference and The Blueprint videos. Maybe the best material I found on PUA community (Maybe there's new things in the past 2 years, I don't know, because I didn't have the need of getting new material of this kind anymore).
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On July 19 2011 13:44 KoveN- wrote:How to get laid like a rockstar, with minimal effort and NO geeky studying that turns you into a freak weirdo: 1. Commit to a 90 day workout routine. Something like P90X for instance (google it). 2. Sign up for every single speed dating & singles event in your city for the next year. Tick yes to every single girl and once you get the results back write down why each particular girl might not have said yes to you and why. (this will increase your attractiveness and conversation skill over time.) 3. Sign up for www.couchsurfers.com and offer your couch to backpackers. I had 2 20 year old french girls stay with me for a week. 4. Get a subscription to a mens fashion magazine (like GQ etc.) 5. Start playing a physical team sport. Guys that play team sports are very good with girls for a reason. 6. Join a dance community. Ballroom, jive, swing, pretty much anything. (to meet girls and get comfortable touching them and being intimate. Something that is SO important and that 'club game' will not teach you.) 7. Find 3-5 real naturals and hang out with them. Do whatever it takes to becomes friends with them, wash their car, buy them dinner, whatever. They will pretty much hand you free pussy.
That list is fucking gold. Like, really fucking gold. No, I'm not trolling.
Only drawback, at least for me, back when I was a total pussy I wouldn't have dared to go do a speed-dating or even to take up dancing classes (even though I always wanted).
Though basicly I really have to say, the first few aspiring PUAs I met pretty much set a "Dude, you're not THAT bad with women after all."-attitude for me which, combined with some basic stuff, got the ball rolling.
#3, is just so good, why did I never think about that?
#5, I can eve tell you why. Team sports have a tendency to build the "classy" alpha-attributes (god I hate that word). People coming from team sports have a tendency to be loud, draw attention to themselves and in general have a type of orangutan presence that helps them get some easy lays.
Personally, I hate that type of behaviour. However, I found a local martial arts dojo that suited my needs and preferences exactly. Just find out what works for you.
#6, is also so fucking huge, you wouldn't believe it at first. If you have any trouble with kino-escalation (I sure had it), this will teach it. Also it teaches proper, subtle, AMOGing, building attraction without using random canned material and so much more. Do it, if you just slightly think you might enjoy it. Feel free to bring a girl you're just friends with, that will open all the other girls for you. ;D
#7, can't do more than praise you. That's the most fucking easy way to get quick lays. - You don't have to be the guy leading a group, being somewhere up the foodchain (and the best buddy of the leader always is) is enough.
Though, honestly, I really only started doing all this after I started caring about pickup in general. Pretty sure it was me being a pussy before I got some outside validation (important!) and simply not "screening" activities for how they might help in that area ('cause of "It never works for me with girls, I never get the one I want QQQQQQQ."-bullshit).
PS: I had quite some people PM me after my way too long posts a few pages back. I don't mind answering questions here and there, even to specific situations as long as you allow me to crosspost your PM without your name so others can learn from it, too. However please keep it properly formatted, in english (same reason as above, will do the german PMs I got so far over the next few days) and not about the most basic stuff (like "I'm her friend since 3 years, how do we have sex?" - no fun in answering that properly. =P)
TL is great 'cause people do that kind of thing, so don't be afraid. 
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So sad that you live in Germany, I would've loved to see you in action 
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On July 20 2011 00:56 Doler wrote:So sad that you live in Germany, I would've loved to see you in action
Don't get too excited. The ones that write 10 pages per post are super likely to be keyboard jockeys. All theory and in field they are complete duds.
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On July 19 2011 15:29 squattincassanova wrote:Show nested quote +On July 19 2011 15:24 Gifted.TempO wrote:
I lawl every time this thread is bumped. The community IMO is not that great. It's best to get into with maybe a friend or two. The important part of PUA is realizing that canned material and spouting lines and come-ons at a moment's notice is terrible execution of seduction fundamentals. Confidence is key and if you just learn how to be confident, funny. and unpredictable you will be fine. I highly suggest reading The Attraction Code by Vin DiCarlo. It's the best literature I've read on the subject of pick-up and will give you a more realistic view on relationships with not just your latest fling. but with everyone. Cheers. Vin DiCarlo is crap. All marketing BS. Nobody good uses canned openers. They are pure training wheels only. I have never used a single canned opener in my life.
uhh. What. The way I read this was "Spouting canned material is bad. You should check out this instead" then you say " That is crapped, using canned openers is bad." When he just said himself that he was against Canned openers.
This thread, and to be honest every thread\discussion about the "pickup community" (especially from people with limited experience of it, or who are in one way or another closeminded about it) feels so weird to me. People look at something that someone does in the 'pick up community' and thinks its all like that or is all bad or whatever. To put things in perspective, you tell someone you play SC2, and they go "Oh, starcraft 2? Yeah I don't like that. I just can't be bothered practicing 12 hours a day, whining about imbalance, and raging for every loss I have" Because some players are like that does not mean all are. Or that you have to be.
People are also way too hung up in the word\labeling of "PUA"\pickup artist. Which is just something some guy decided to call something he was doing many years ago, and what he did then (whoever coined that term first) probably has very little to do with what most people """in the community""" is doing now. What is the community\PUA supposed to be anyway? To me a "PUA" is anyone, who in whatever way, make a concious decision to try to improve their success with women. If someone listens to TL, and is told that the way to get a girl is to work out, and then they start working out for the purpose of getting girls, they are to some extent what I would consider a "PUA" (although I would never use that phrase as I hate it.)
Last but not least I'll say that (from my experience, and something I am sure is taught in some circles of "PUA") is that basically the core to all of this is being confident and comfortable with your sexuality and who you are. So you know what you want and you are not uncomfortable about showing it. There are tons of ways to do this. Working out can definetly help you out with your confidence, and so can buying fashionable clothes or whatever. But is working out or dressing well needed to get girls? Not at all. Working out and taking care of yourself is great and something I think everyone\anyone should do, but you should probably do it for your own benefits, not to get girls, as it is not needed.
Last but not least it is easy for some of you people to say that there is no need to learn this just go up to a girl and talk to her and be confident, first of all, that is a lot easier said than done for some people, secondly, Probably 80~90% of single males would not mind seeing an increase in their success with women, regardless of how sucessful they are at the moment.
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On July 20 2011 00:56 Doler wrote:So sad that you live in Germany, I would've loved to see you in action
tbh watching me in action would be rather boring. When I'm "on the hunt" I'm the guy everyone likes, who befriends most of the room and then randomly dissappears with someone. I'm pretty subtle and discrete in field. Everything else gets you a very bad reputation very soon when you "operate" in smaller areas.
High focus of mine is also on being remembered as "Oh, I had such a great time with that guy *gigglegiggle*", cause it's highly likely that a friend of hers will be my next target, without me even knowing that those two have a connection. I had some very weird moments due to "Wait.. I think I know someone who knows you..."-stuff.
On July 20 2011 01:05 squattincassanova wrote:Show nested quote +On July 20 2011 00:56 Doler wrote:So sad that you live in Germany, I would've loved to see you in action Don't get too excited. The ones that write 10 pages per post are super likely to be keyboard jockeys. All theory and in field they are complete duds.
...or they're past the point of defining their value in life by picking up chicks. Not that any "PUA" would ever do that. =P ... I had the times when I went out 3 nights a week and jerked off on my "stats" and "records". While I consider it important to have had a phase where I had lots of fun with girls I'm now at the point where I prefer the advantages of a stable relationship over random fucking around.
All the "Pickup" I do nowadays is picking up girls with my gf for threesomes, but that's about it. And honestly, I'd have never gotten to that point without my prior experience.
So, yes, besides the part above I'm a complete keyboard jokey nowadays who gives stuff back to communites he learned things from. =)
Besides that I'm coaching general communicational stuff in seminars, workshops and 1on1 coachings, but that's mostly going towards areas like public speaking, self-improvement, relationship stuff - basicly soft skills all around. I'm kinda used to analyzing talking/writing patterns and I think I learned that first during pickup.
Edit, how did I miss that post?
On July 20 2011 02:18 Earll wrote:
Last but not least I'll say that (from my experience, and something I am sure is taught in some circles of "PUA") is that basically the core to all of this is being confident and comfortable with your sexuality and who you are. So you know what you want and you are not uncomfortable about showing it.
That's kinda the weird part about stuff in this area. You can all reduce it to simple statements like that, however getting there is increibly huge for 98% of all people in this day in age.
"Be confident"
"Be comfortable with your sexuality"
"Be confident with who you are"
Those are so huge things for so many people (I'm obviously including both males and females here) and you definitly won't be getting there without working on it. It's kinda getting off-topic, but I consider the material offered by the pickup community in general is just a small piece overall towards those goals. However, what I admire about many people who start figuring PU out for themselves is the will to improve and the drive to take on unconventional means to do so.
Most people I met in "the scene" don't care how socially fucked up someone is, if he works on it and puts actually effort into it. I'd say that type of attitude is pretty damn good.
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r.Evo, post pictures or it didnt happen.
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On July 19 2011 07:03 Discretionary Duck wrote:Show nested quote +On July 19 2011 05:08 Talin wrote:On July 19 2011 04:45 whiteLotus wrote:On July 19 2011 03:52 TheGiz wrote:
This thread is seriously depressing.
Work out, dress well, and just say 'hello'. yeah and then be silent for 30mins till she says that she has something important to do lol, you gotta learn how to talk, what are they interested in, you cant be just like "hello, my name is derp i play sc2 im at diamond, and i listen to dubstep" lol You can "learn how to talk" OR you can just say whatever the fuck you want to say or feel like saying at any point in time. What makes option one better than option two? I know I'm much more comfortable with option two. Part of PUA training is reconditioning what we've been taught to say in the appropriate situations (e.g. being nice and polite), rather than saying whatever the fuck you feel like saying. Show nested quote +Imagine two men, one a beta with low dating market value and the other an alpha with high dating market value. By dating market value, I am referring to the aggregate of traits the men possess which either move them closer or further away from the general attractiveness standards. Some of these traits are beyond their power to remedy, such as stature and looks, while other traits, like humor and charm, reside in the gray area of innate attributes that are somewhat changeable through deliberate effort.
Their respective suite of traits means that Beta is attractive to 1 out of 1,000 women and Alpha is attractive to 1 out of 10 women. (The absolute number values are not important in this example; what matters is the relative disparity.) If both go to a club that has 100 women in attendance, 10 of those women will be attracted to Alpha while Beta would be lucky if his 1 out of 1,000 woman is even there.
If Beta and Alpha begin their careers of hitting on women it’s likely that Alpha would have banged 100 women before Beta even lost his virginity.
Over time, the repeated failures of Beta and the repeated successes of Alpha would mount. Both may have started their journeys to poon wide-eyed with optimism and hope, but after a few years it’s easy to picture what kinds of attitudes each would develop as a consequence of his dating market value. Alpha would embrace dating; he would see it as a playground full of excitement and fun and adventure and joy. Beta would dread the dating scene; he’d go to every date with a feeling of frustration, expecting the rejection that he had become accustomed to experiencing.
Success breeds success. A surfeit of pussy means Alpha would acquire discriminating taste in women. He would learn how to screen for what he wants and how to qualify women for the values he looks for in a mate. This, of course, would make him even more attractive to women. But poor Beta… he’d take what he could get. Beggars can’t be choosers. After many years of their divergent paths, Alpha would achieve great knowledge in the ways of women and romance while Beta would know next to nothing.
What do the unsympathetic beta-haters think would result from this illustration I’ve laid out? It’s simple. Alpha would be a very happy dude and Beta would be embittered. So for those whose advice to a loser in love is to “just be himself” around women remember that that is exactly what brought him to his miserable condition.
It brings great concern to my heart when I realize I fit within the beta male category, a fate I refuse to accept given recent events in my life. Unfortunately, living in Saskatchewan offers little opportunity to remedy this dilemma, given our narrow population that mostly consists of cliques whom I do not connect with.
Ironically, my unrelenting commitment to working out has yet to yield any results with women, and while I certainly agree with another poster whom stated that learning to dance is basically an instant-win, through my own experience i can vouch that slam poetry is even better.
Yes, you heard me, slam poetry. IMPROV in fact! Not that I am the least bit fluent in this craft, (for myself, improv is like throwing my brain at a brick wall over and over again, desperately searching for cracks to find an epiphany), but last weekend I met a man who is, and begrudgingly, i was utterly outclassed.
Maybe it's the conviction in doing slam poetry off the top of your head, but all the girls were lining up for him. Goes to show you that some hobbies were made superior to others. I'm 19 years old, grew up mostly writing and playing video games, and I think this summer has confirmed my suspicions that gaming is amongst the worst hobbies you can occupy yourself with when it comes to women. (I can confidently say that with conviction!)
In fact, if I was an expert at anything else at this point, I'd give up gaming altogether. I think many of us bullshit ourselves into thinking we'll meet that one perfect demographic of nerds, where we'll be accepted "for who we are" and meet the girl of our dreams. As I enter my second year of college in September, I am overcome by this sense of utter dread that my time to change is waning swiftly. (The fact that my friends complacently reassure me, saying "haha, of course you'll meet someone in college!" is not the least bit comforting!)
If I come across as a bitter and spiteful person, it is only because I am very, very angry with myself and the essential skills I never developed over the past decade. (I work in the prairies as a painter 9.5 hrs a day, 4-5 days a week, and I just spend all day pondering over the secret to hitting on women while I mull about my work.)
Your post has enlightened me of some of my weaknesses, most profoundly that dating in life is not Hollywood bullshit. (i.e. the nerdy nice guy does NOT happen to meet a women of his chemistry who falls for his personality, but instead lives a bitter life of loneliness before committing suicide in his mid 30 or 40's. How's that for a fairy tale?)
But that's just the thing, I wont allow myself to be the beta male, even if I fall short within this "attractions scale" of yours. No matter what it takes, I will rewire myself, I only ask for your help in the process. (i.e. Do you know of any videos I should definitely watch, proper approaches to day game since there's no nightclubs in my town, how to think quicker on your feet, etc.)
I thank you for the unmitigated truth; this is the only way to become stronger.
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On July 20 2011 08:03 Blanke wrote:Show nested quote +On July 19 2011 07:03 Discretionary Duck wrote:On July 19 2011 05:08 Talin wrote:On July 19 2011 04:45 whiteLotus wrote:On July 19 2011 03:52 TheGiz wrote:
This thread is seriously depressing.
Work out, dress well, and just say 'hello'. yeah and then be silent for 30mins till she says that she has something important to do lol, you gotta learn how to talk, what are they interested in, you cant be just like "hello, my name is derp i play sc2 im at diamond, and i listen to dubstep" lol You can "learn how to talk" OR you can just say whatever the fuck you want to say or feel like saying at any point in time. What makes option one better than option two? I know I'm much more comfortable with option two. Part of PUA training is reconditioning what we've been taught to say in the appropriate situations (e.g. being nice and polite), rather than saying whatever the fuck you feel like saying. Imagine two men, one a beta with low dating market value and the other an alpha with high dating market value. By dating market value, I am referring to the aggregate of traits the men possess which either move them closer or further away from the general attractiveness standards. Some of these traits are beyond their power to remedy, such as stature and looks, while other traits, like humor and charm, reside in the gray area of innate attributes that are somewhat changeable through deliberate effort.
Their respective suite of traits means that Beta is attractive to 1 out of 1,000 women and Alpha is attractive to 1 out of 10 women. (The absolute number values are not important in this example; what matters is the relative disparity.) If both go to a club that has 100 women in attendance, 10 of those women will be attracted to Alpha while Beta would be lucky if his 1 out of 1,000 woman is even there.
If Beta and Alpha begin their careers of hitting on women it’s likely that Alpha would have banged 100 women before Beta even lost his virginity.
Over time, the repeated failures of Beta and the repeated successes of Alpha would mount. Both may have started their journeys to poon wide-eyed with optimism and hope, but after a few years it’s easy to picture what kinds of attitudes each would develop as a consequence of his dating market value. Alpha would embrace dating; he would see it as a playground full of excitement and fun and adventure and joy. Beta would dread the dating scene; he’d go to every date with a feeling of frustration, expecting the rejection that he had become accustomed to experiencing.
Success breeds success. A surfeit of pussy means Alpha would acquire discriminating taste in women. He would learn how to screen for what he wants and how to qualify women for the values he looks for in a mate. This, of course, would make him even more attractive to women. But poor Beta… he’d take what he could get. Beggars can’t be choosers. After many years of their divergent paths, Alpha would achieve great knowledge in the ways of women and romance while Beta would know next to nothing.
What do the unsympathetic beta-haters think would result from this illustration I’ve laid out? It’s simple. Alpha would be a very happy dude and Beta would be embittered. So for those whose advice to a loser in love is to “just be himself” around women remember that that is exactly what brought him to his miserable condition. It brings great concern to my heart when I realize I fit within the beta male category, a fate I refuse to accept given recent events in my life. Unfortunately, living in Saskatchewan offers little opportunity to remedy this dilemma, given our narrow population that mostly consists of cliques whom I do not connect with. Ironically, my unrelenting commitment to working out has yet to yield any results with women, and while I certainly agree with another poster whom stated that learning to dance is basically an instant-win, through my own experience i can vouch that slam poetry is even better. Yes, you heard me, slam poetry. IMPROV in fact! Not that I am the least bit fluent in this craft, (for myself, improv is like throwing my brain at a brick wall over and over again, desperately searching for cracks to find an epiphany), but last weekend I met a man who is, and begrudgingly, i was utterly outclassed. Maybe it's the conviction in doing slam poetry off the top of your head, but all the girls were lining up for him. Goes to show you that some hobbies were made superior to others. I'm 19 years old, grew up mostly writing and playing video games, and I think this summer has confirmed my suspicions that gaming is amongst the worst hobbies you can occupy yourself with when it comes to women. (I can confidently say that with conviction!) In fact, if I was an expert at anything else at this point, I'd give up gaming altogether. I think many of us bullshit ourselves into thinking we'll meet that one perfect demographic of nerds, where we'll be accepted "for who we are" and meet the girl of our dreams. As I enter my second year of college in September, I am overcome by this sense of utter dread that my time to change is waning swiftly. (The fact that my friends complacently reassure me, saying "haha, of course you'll meet someone in college!" is not the least bit comforting!) If I come across as a bitter and spiteful person, it is only because I am very, very angry with myself and the essential skills I never developed over the past decade. (I work in the prairies as a painter 9.5 hrs a day, 4-5 days a week, and I just spend all day pondering over the secret to hitting on women while I mull about my work.) Your post has enlightened me of some of my weaknesses, most profoundly that dating in life is not Hollywood bullshit. (i.e. the nerdy nice guy does NOT happen to meet a women of his chemistry who falls for his personality, but instead lives a bitter life of loneliness before committing suicide in his mid 30 or 40's. How's that for a fairy tale?) But that's just the thing, I wont allow myself to be the beta male, even if I fall short within this "attractions scale" of yours. No matter what it takes, I will rewire myself, I only ask for your help in the process. (i.e. Do you know of any videos I should definitely watch, proper approaches to day game since there's no nightclubs in my town, how to think quicker on your feet, etc.) I thank you for the unmitigated truth; this is the only way to become stronger.
Stop watching videos. Go out and say "Hi" to 10 girls tonight. Just say "HI" and leave.
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On July 20 2011 09:38 squattincassanova wrote:
Stop watching videos. Go out and say "Hi" to 10 girls tonight. Just say "HI" and leave.
Unfortunately this is the kind of advice you find in the PUA community. It's a common misconception in the community that Cold Approach is the only way to get better with girls or to increase your confidence.
It's actually the worst.
Consider 2 guys learning to be better with women:
Guy A is the typical PUA community guy, he goes out night after night to clubs and bars, cold approaching every girl in sight as his only way of meeting girls.
Guy B signs up to internet dating and messages 100 girls for a date. Signs up for couchsurfing.com and starts attending backpackers events. Starts playing a team sport, joins a gym or starts doing a form of martial arts. Joins a dance community with a style he thinks he might like, like salsa.
I know which guy I'd rather be.
Cold Approach should be one of the many tools in your arsenal, not the only tool.
The problem with learning with Cold Approach alone is that you can only get so far. Extracting a girl from a club is incredibly difficult for a beginner so it will take months, in some cases years for you to be able to take a girl home from learning by Cold Approach alone.
Sure, you can go say "Hi" to 10 girls but it's not really going to help him much. His time would be much better spent signing up for an internet dating account, creating a killer profile and asking a few girls in his area for a date.
The only time a guy should be doing cold approach is when he is already having sex.
It's incredibly hard to do club game when you're not already getting regular sex. Once you are having regular sex, harder places to meet women like the street, clubs and bars become a hell of a lot easier.
The problem is the community guys won't take this advice. Why? Because they don't get validation from it.
Like I said before, the whole reason why the PUA community guys go out to clubs and bars every night of the week is because they are actually seeking validation. Not sex with females.
I knew a PUA guy who while he was having sex with a girl was texting his mates how he's in bed with her about to have sex.
I knew another one that was preparing his Lay Report in his head while he was having sex with a girl so he could post it the next day.
For me personally, I'd rather enjoy the moment I have with a beautiful girl, enjoying her body, smell, voice, whatever than be thinking how cool everyones gonna think I am because I got some girl in my bed.
Anyway I kinda went into a bit of a rant. Hope it makes sense.
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On July 20 2011 10:53 KoveN- wrote:Show nested quote +On July 20 2011 09:38 squattincassanova wrote:
Stop watching videos. Go out and say "Hi" to 10 girls tonight. Just say "HI" and leave.
Unfortunately this is the kind of advice you find in the PUA community. It's a common misconception in the community that Cold Approach is the only way to get better with girls or to increase your confidence. It's actually the worst. Consider 2 guys learning to be better with women: Guy A is the typical PUA community guy, he goes out night after night to clubs and bars, cold approaching every girl in sight as his only way of meeting girls. Guy B signs up to internet dating and messages 100 girls for a date. Signs up for couchsurfing.com and starts attending backpackers events. Starts playing a team sport, joins a gym or starts doing a form of martial arts. Joins a dance community with a style he thinks he might like, like salsa. I know which guy I'd rather be. Cold Approach should be one of the many tools in your arsenal, not the only tool. The problem with learning with Cold Approach alone is that you can only get so far. Extracting a girl from a club is incredibly difficult for a beginner so it will take months, in some cases years for you to be able to take a girl home from learning by Cold Approach alone. Sure, you can go say "Hi" to 10 girls but it's not really going to help him much. His time would be much better spent signing up for an internet dating account, creating a killer profile and asking a few girls in his area for a date. The only time a guy should be doing cold approach is when he is already having sex. It's incredibly hard to do club game when you're not already getting regular sex. Once you are having regular sex, harder places to meet women like the street, clubs and bars become a hell of a lot easier. The problem is the community guys won't take this advice. Why? Because they don't get validation from it. Like I said before, the whole reason why the PUA community guys go out to clubs and bars every night of the week is because they are actually seeking validation. Not sex with females. I knew a PUA guy who while he was having sex with a girl was texting his mates how he's in bed with her about to have sex. I knew another one that was preparing his Lay Report in his head while he was having sex with a girl so he could post it the next day. For me personally, I'd rather enjoy the moment I have with a beautiful girl, enjoying her body, smell, voice, whatever than be thinking how cool everyones gonna think I am because I got some girl in my bed. Anyway I kinda went into a bit of a rant. Hope it makes sense.
Cold approach has nothing to do with it being in a night club. It means you do not know her from before. If you approach her at a couchsurfing event or a dancing event or whatever its still a cold approach (I guess you could call it a luke warm approach if you are like in the same dance class or something but whatever.) And 'warm~ish' approaches are pretty much the same, they can be slightly easier since you have more of a reason to talk to whoever you talk to, but its pretty much the same deal. The difference is that if you do not do cold approach, you are limiting yourself to whoever you get introduced to\whoever is already in your social circle. There is nothing stopping you from both going out to clubs and joining whatever groups clubs classes or other communities you want to.
The reason why nightclubs are in some ways the best venue is because there are so many of them, you can just show up and go in, and there is 'always' 'a lot' of (hot) girls there, so you won't have lack of options, and if you crash and burn with someone it does not really matter at all.
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On July 20 2011 11:15 Earll wrote:
Cold approach has nothing to do with it being in a night club. It means you do not know her from before. If you approach her at a couchsurfing event or a dancing event or whatever its still a cold approach (I guess you could call it a luke warm approach if you are like in the same dance class or something but whatever.) And 'warm~ish' approaches are pretty much the same, they can be slightly easier since you have more of a reason to talk to whoever you talk to, but its pretty much the same deal. The difference is that if you do not do cold approach, you are limiting yourself to whoever you get introduced to\whoever is already in your social circle. There is nothing stopping you from both going out to clubs and joining whatever groups clubs classes or other communities you want to.
The reason why nightclubs are in some ways the best venue is because there are so many of them, you can just show up and go in, and there is 'always' 'a lot' of (hot) girls there, so you won't have lack of options, and if you crash and burn with someone it does not really matter at all.
Yes you are correct, cold approach does not specifically mean clubs.
The pickup community will advise you to go to clubs, bars and the street. You will be hard pressed to find a pickup community that tells you to start dancing, meet backpackers, use newspaper classifides, get a part time job in a bar or womens fashion store, start doing a form of Yoga like Bikram, etc.
Clubs, bars and the street, those are the 3 core places every single pickup community will send you to. You just proved my point by saying "nightclubs are the best".
Nightclubs are the worst.
You are under the common misconception that you need to "crash and burn" in order to get good with women. Why would you do that to yourself?
I never went through any "crash and burning", you know why? Because I didn't step foot in clubs/bars/street to meet women and I know I had more sex than all the guys that did learn in those places.
I would hear stories from the PUA guys like they're the shit because they got 10 numbers in one night, then I'd ask them how many they had sex with and the answer would always be 0.
Another guy told me it took him 3 months of going out 5 nights a week to get his first phone number. He must not have had much else going on in his life to able to make that kind of a time commitment.
The reason I say these places are better is because they are easier to meet and have sex with women.
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I've tried using zoosk and match.com, buuut I really don't trust online dating, plus they always trick you into thinking its free at first, but in reality you have very little access to their website unless you pay them $30 a month just to chat and what not!
I have no idea what this couchsurfers nonsense is, but again, I doubt it exists in Saskatchewan.
Anyone who lives in places like L.A. or New York, where thousands of women are walking the streest or dancing in hundreds of night clubs, has NO excuse to be forever alone! (Try living in the prairies, where the horizon surrounds you, if you don't believe me.)
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On July 20 2011 12:10 Blanke wrote:
I've tried using zoosk and match.com, buuut I really don't trust online dating, plus they always trick you into thinking its free at first, but in reality you have very little access to their website unless you pay them $30 a month just to chat and what not!
I have no idea what this couchsurfers nonsense is, but again, I doubt it exists in Saskatchewan.
Anyone who lives in places like L.A. or New York, where thousands of women are walking the streest or dancing in hundreds of night clubs, has NO excuse to be forever alone! (Try living in the prairies, where the horizon surrounds you, if you don't believe me.)
I've slept with many girls from internet dating and not paid a cent. Sign up to 2-3 free ones and message 50-100 girls a week.
Couchsurfers is worldwide.
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On July 20 2011 10:53 KoveN- wrote:Show nested quote +On July 20 2011 09:38 squattincassanova wrote:
Stop watching videos. Go out and say "Hi" to 10 girls tonight. Just say "HI" and leave.
Unfortunately this is the kind of advice you find in the PUA community. It's a common misconception in the community that Cold Approach is the only way to get better with girls or to increase your confidence. Blah Blah
Look, if you can't even go up and say hi to a random girl, do you think you can be good with girls in general? Do you think even if you get a few lucky lays from online dating that you will change much? Its about the process and skill development, and not about just getting laid.
If you can't even say "Hi" to a girl. You will most definitely not be a PUA and you will most definitely fail with pickup. I'm not saying there aren't other options, but cold approach is fun, efficient, makes you grow balls, and make you learn how to generate attraction and hold girls attention quick. Its bread and butter and its core to pickup.
A guy who does well at cold approach in a club or during the day at a mall will do just fine at a speed dating place. A guy who ONLY does speed dating will fail miserably in other situations. In speed dating, the girl gives you a few minutes of her time. At a club, you got 5 seconds before you f*** up and she back turns your ass and you stand there looking like a retard.
In a club, you learn how to handle group dynamics, how to handle logistics, how to isolate, how to handle other guys and competition. All these tactical stuff that you dont get to do in a freaking speed dating site.
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On July 20 2011 12:16 KoveN- wrote:Show nested quote +On July 20 2011 12:10 Blanke wrote:
I've tried using zoosk and match.com, buuut I really don't trust online dating, plus they always trick you into thinking its free at first, but in reality you have very little access to their website unless you pay them $30 a month just to chat and what not!
I have no idea what this couchsurfers nonsense is, but again, I doubt it exists in Saskatchewan.
Anyone who lives in places like L.A. or New York, where thousands of women are walking the streest or dancing in hundreds of night clubs, has NO excuse to be forever alone! (Try living in the prairies, where the horizon surrounds you, if you don't believe me.) I've slept with many girls from internet dating and not paid a cent. Sign up to 2-3 free ones and message 50-100 girls a week. Couchsurfers is worldwide.
Any sites you'd recommend for the rest of us, then?
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On July 20 2011 12:16 KoveN- wrote:Show nested quote +On July 20 2011 12:10 Blanke wrote:
I've tried using zoosk and match.com, buuut I really don't trust online dating, plus they always trick you into thinking its free at first, but in reality you have very little access to their website unless you pay them $30 a month just to chat and what not!
I have no idea what this couchsurfers nonsense is, but again, I doubt it exists in Saskatchewan.
Anyone who lives in places like L.A. or New York, where thousands of women are walking the streest or dancing in hundreds of night clubs, has NO excuse to be forever alone! (Try living in the prairies, where the horizon surrounds you, if you don't believe me.) I've slept with many girls from internet dating and not paid a cent. Sign up to 2-3 free ones and message 50-100 girls a week. Couchsurfers is worldwide.
And yeah, shotgun blasting a million messages and hoping a few will reply will make you an amazing pick up artist right? Cuz when you see that perfect 10 on the street walking away, you can magically clone her 1000 times and then send them all each a message. Maybe one of them will respond.
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On July 20 2011 11:42 KoveN- wrote:Show nested quote +On July 20 2011 11:15 Earll wrote:
Cold approach has nothing to do with it being in a night club. It means you do not know her from before. If you approach her at a couchsurfing event or a dancing event or whatever its still a cold approach (I guess you could call it a luke warm approach if you are like in the same dance class or something but whatever.) And 'warm~ish' approaches are pretty much the same, they can be slightly easier since you have more of a reason to talk to whoever you talk to, but its pretty much the same deal. The difference is that if you do not do cold approach, you are limiting yourself to whoever you get introduced to\whoever is already in your social circle. There is nothing stopping you from both going out to clubs and joining whatever groups clubs classes or other communities you want to.
The reason why nightclubs are in some ways the best venue is because there are so many of them, you can just show up and go in, and there is 'always' 'a lot' of (hot) girls there, so you won't have lack of options, and if you crash and burn with someone it does not really matter at all.
Yes you are correct, cold approach does not specifically mean clubs. The pickup community will advise you to go to clubs, bars and the street. You will be hard pressed to find a pickup community that tells you to start dancing, meet backpackers, use newspaper classifides, get a part time job in a bar or womens fashion store, start doing a form of Yoga like Bikram, etc. Clubs, bars and the street, those are the 3 core places every single pickup community will send you to. You just proved my point by saying "nightclubs are the best". Nightclubs are the worst. You are under the common misconception that you need to "crash and burn" in order to get good with women. Why would you do that to yourself? I never went through any "crash and burning", you know why? Because I didn't step foot in clubs/bars/street to meet women and I know I had more sex than all the guys that did learn in those places. I would hear stories from the PUA guys like they're the shit because they got 10 numbers in one night, then I'd ask them how many they had sex with and the answer would always be 0. Another guy told me it took him 3 months of going out 5 nights a week to get his first phone number. He must not have had much else going on in his life to able to make that kind of a time commitment. The reason I say these places are better is because they are easier to meet and have sex with women.
I will not be hard pressed to do this, every single pick up community I have been in touch with ( which to be fair is pretty limited experience) would advice you to, if you want to, get into such events to get a more social lifestyle. I do not think you should do it purely for picking up girls though, because that is (in my opinion) trying too hard for something which is not that hard. Getting a part time job in a womens fashion store to meet girls? And as a sidenote I see you mention meeting backpackers\going to couchsurfing meetings as an example. From my experience (And ive been to a reasonable amount of couchsurfing meetings) they are usually held in some sort of bar\whatever place, which to me goes under 'night life game' I guess, and goes under "club" game so to speak.
((As a sidenote and a member of Couchsurfing, I don't think you should use Couchsurfing solely as a tool for pikcup, since that is not what that site is about, you can go to a dating site for that. If you approach a girl in a neutral place she always just has the opportunity to walk away\say no or whatever, but when a girl is staying at your place and no strings are supposed to be attached she is in somewhat of a vulnerable spot. Obviously if shit goes down shit goes down but you know. I just felt like throwing this in here seeing how some people think it seems like a great idea to join Couchsurfing to get girls to stay at their place then pick them up.))
You seem to hung up on labeling these things. It doesn't matter if its in a nightclub or in a coffeeshop or at a day-spa or in a gym or whatever. Its an interaction between a man and a woman, and it is to some extent the same no matter where you are. There are slight nuances like how in night game it can be slightly easier to get physical than in day game, but at the end of the day it is all the same.
I didn't prove your point by saying Nightclubs/nightlife venues are best. They are simply the most versatile ,easiest to get into, and most convinient places. The girls generally are no harder or easier to pick up than anywhere else, it just happens that there are a lot of girls there. That is all. If you sign up for a dance class and there are say 10 girls there, 5 have boyfriends 3 are ..eh. not your type, and you try your luck with the last 2 but it doesn't click well\whatever it does not work out. Do you quit it and sign up for a new dance class? ((I am not saying don't go to whateverclass or that you can't pick up there. Just that it is not as convinient as a nightclub simply because of the lack of volume and accessibility, since nightclubs in any decently sized city basically has an unlimited amount of girls.))
You seem too hung up in the nightlife scene being bad for whatever reason.If you don't like it then don't go I guess. But its just the same as anywhere else. You can meet the girl at 9am at the gym, 11am at work, 5pm at the dancing class, or 8pm at a bar in a couchsurfing meeting, or at 11pm at a night club. Its still the same girl, its still you, and you are still interacting with each other. It does not matter.
The reason why you never went through any "crash and burning" (depending on definition of a crash and burn I guess.) is because a) you did not\have not cold approached that much, or b) because you don't push your boundaries enough. You don't need to do either of these things to get laid or get a girlfriend, but if you are partially into this to get better at it, not just to get a girlfriend, then you need to push yourself some or you will just stay at the same level.
on a somewhat related note I also am of the humble opinion that if you want to improve a lot in this area it helps a lot to focus on it a certain amount, like devoting some time to it. Just floating along in your life and flirting with a girl every now and then when she comes across your path will only takes you so far in how comfortable you are with yourself in different scenarios. I don't think you are going to feel fully comfortable walking up to a (hot+ female) complete stranger on the street with the intent of 'picking her up' whatever that might mean, if you have not done it a decent amount of times before. So even though doing the other suggestions you come with are great both for expanding your social circle and meeting girls for lays of girlfriends or whatever you can't really "sarge"(I dont like that term  ) in the same way in a dance class as you can in a less restricted environment.
fuck these walls of texts I write. Tl:dr = It does not matter where you meet\approach a girl. Night club = many girls+No level of entry\commitment\membership\fee required. Many 'easily accessible' girls = good.
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On July 20 2011 12:19 Blanke wrote:Show nested quote +On July 20 2011 12:16 KoveN- wrote:On July 20 2011 12:10 Blanke wrote:
I've tried using zoosk and match.com, buuut I really don't trust online dating, plus they always trick you into thinking its free at first, but in reality you have very little access to their website unless you pay them $30 a month just to chat and what not!
I have no idea what this couchsurfers nonsense is, but again, I doubt it exists in Saskatchewan.
Anyone who lives in places like L.A. or New York, where thousands of women are walking the streest or dancing in hundreds of night clubs, has NO excuse to be forever alone! (Try living in the prairies, where the horizon surrounds you, if you don't believe me.) I've slept with many girls from internet dating and not paid a cent. Sign up to 2-3 free ones and message 50-100 girls a week. Couchsurfers is worldwide. Any sites you'd recommend for the rest of us, then?
I believe plenty of fish and Okcupid are the 2 largest free dating sites. (Might be wrong but whatever.)
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On July 20 2011 12:17 squattincassanova wrote:Show nested quote +On July 20 2011 10:53 KoveN- wrote:On July 20 2011 09:38 squattincassanova wrote:
Stop watching videos. Go out and say "Hi" to 10 girls tonight. Just say "HI" and leave.
Unfortunately this is the kind of advice you find in the PUA community. It's a common misconception in the community that Cold Approach is the only way to get better with girls or to increase your confidence. Blah Blah Look, if you can't even go up and say hi to a random girl, do you think you can be good with girls in general? Do you think even if you get a few lucky lays from online dating that you will change much? Its about the process and skill development, and not about just getting laid. If you can't even say "Hi" to a girl. You will most definitely not be a PUA and you will most definitely fail with pickup. I'm not saying there aren't other options, but cold approach is fun, efficient, makes you grow balls, and make you learn how to generate attraction and hold girls attention quick. Its bread and butter and its core to pickup. A guy who does well at cold approach in a club or during the day at a mall will do just fine at a speed dating place. A guy who ONLY does speed dating will fail miserably in other situations. In speed dating, the girl gives you a few minutes of her time. At a club, you got 5 seconds before you f*** up and she back turns your ass and you stand there looking like a retard. In a club, you learn how to handle group dynamics, how to handle logistics, how to isolate, how to handle other guys and competition. All these tactical stuff that you dont get to do in a freaking speed dating site.
Haha
Yes, having sex and spending time alone in a bedroom with a girl will make you better 100x faster than going out to clubs and bars and getting rejected by girls. I know this because it's what I was doing at the same time these PUA wannabes were doing their thing.
Sure, if you aspire to be some PUA guy who goes around all night and day trying to pickup chicks then hey, good for you. Hope it makes you happy.
For me personally though I prefer to put my meeting women on autopilot. Spend maybe a couple hours a week messaging girls online, doing hobbies that I enjoy like dancing and bikram yoga, go to speed dating once a month etc.
That way I incorporate meeting women into my life, without having to go out to a club (a place I do not really enjoy) just so I can meet women.
The idea behind going speed dating and all these other events is to go on dates.
Going on dates is how you get good. Really good.
If you wanna get really good with girls, ignore these pickup "guru" guys, start going on alot of dates and make sure you take your date back to your place after, every single time.
Going on 2-3 dates a week vs going out to a club 5 nights a week? There is just no contest.
Firstly for people with a life outside of meeting women it's much less of a time commitment and you're going to have alot more sex, plain and simple.
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EPT
