The PUA community - Page 22

On July 20 2011 13:53 r.Evo wrote:


I think we got by now that you think cold approaches are the one and only tool for everyone.

The point both KoveN- and me make is that while people can be able to say "Hi" to a random girl on the streets they might think it's utterly and completely retarded to do so. - It's pretty much the same bullshit as all the "social pressure" (please, please don't get me started on those) exercises out there.

Stuff like "Say 'Hi' to 10 random girls!" is made for people who have serious social issues. I honestly don't mean that in a negative context, but this type of stuff helps people who can barely look someone in the eye while talking to him, because it's way out of their comfort zone.

If you are fine with talking to a female cashier or to random girls you're studying with, you're not the person those type of exercises will help improving quickly.




A dating site gets you dates. Dates include real interaction with girls with real time to talk and without random routines you're pulling out of your ass. It gets you talking in a way where your brain actually has a chance to relax and focus.

The group dynamics you will find in a nightlife environment are among the easiest to handle out there. Why? Because they're very, very exposed. It's very easy to spot who goes along with who when people are in such an environment.


How to handle other guys and competition?

Just one, very simple question: HOW THE FUCK IS THERE ANY COMPETITION IN A FRIGGIN NIGHTCLUB JESUS CHRIST? (sry, had to =P)

98% of the guys in a club are
-slightly drunk
-staring at girls asses, sitting in their own group
-drunk
-talking about WoW and their new favorite pet
-standing on the dance floor with a drink in their hand, trying to go from one foot to the other in tune with the ryhthm and fuck up anyway
-talking about sports
-totally drunk
-talking about their bankaccounts
-randomly give girls drinks or hit their asses with theirs "by accident"
-....or simply all of the above.

The only "threats" out there are boyfriends (I'm not into girls in relationships out there, unless the dude sucks. Then she's mine and she didn't want him anyway.), brothers and her girlfriends. =P


There is one major thing you keep missing both about mine and about KoveN-'s posts. There is something beyond the phase of trying to be fucking awesome with every chick out there. Once you have things like a satisfying sex life, a confidence in your skill aka not needing a year to get something new going with a girl you suddenly lose all the pressure you had and the tryharding you did before that. Now that's attractive.

There's a reason girls are all over people when they're in a relationship or don't want one and are no where to be seen when they are actually looking for one.


I agree with you, randomly picking up girls, having lots of sex, keeping score and enjoying all that is fun. I'd say it's actually addictive since it's pretty much hunting and harvesting. - However, it's not satisfying in the long run for most people. Once you're past the point I stated above you stop caring about random sex with random girls because you realize it is easily available at all times (that's the #1 thing to learn from pickup imho).

Once you are past that point, it will reflect in everything you say and do in the presence of women. Women recognize the insane autonomy that attitude brings along. They are attracted to it because it incorperates everything the "PUA-community" correctly identified as attractive character traits.


And that is what's called "natural game". That's the point where you can be yourself and be successfull not only with women, but with any social interaction in your life.

Imho if you start with pickup, if you start working on improving yourself and the way you interact with other human beings that should be your goal.

Ironically, my unrelenting commitment to working out has yet to yield any results with women, and while I certainly agree with another poster whom stated that learning to dance is basically an instant-win, through my own experience i can vouch that slam poetry is even better.

Yes, you heard me, slam poetry. IMPROV in fact! Not that I am the least bit fluent in this craft, (for myself, improv is like throwing my brain at a brick wall over and over again, desperately searching for cracks to find an epiphany), but last weekend I met a man who is, and begrudgingly, i was utterly outclassed.

Maybe it's the conviction in doing slam poetry off the top of your head, but all the girls were lining up for him. Goes to show you that some hobbies were made superior to others. I'm 19 years old, grew up mostly writing and playing video games, and I think this summer has confirmed my suspicions that gaming is amongst the worst hobbies you can occupy yourself with when it comes to women. (I can confidently say that with conviction!)

In fact, if I was an expert at anything else at this point, I'd give up gaming altogether. I think many of us bullshit ourselves into thinking we'll meet that one perfect demographic of nerds, where we'll be accepted "for who we are" and meet the girl of our dreams. As I enter my second year of college in September, I am overcome by this sense of utter dread that my time to change is waning swiftly. (The fact that my friends complacently reassure me, saying "haha, of course you'll meet someone in college!" is not the least bit comforting!)

If I come across as a bitter and spiteful person, it is only because I am very, very angry with myself and the essential skills I never developed over the past decade. (I work in the prairies as a painter 9.5 hrs a day, 4-5 days a week, and I just spend all day pondering over the secret to hitting on women while I mull about my work.)

Your post has enlightened me of some of my weaknesses, most profoundly that dating in life is not Hollywood bullshit. (i.e. the nerdy nice guy does NOT happen to meet a women of his chemistry who falls for his personality, but instead lives a bitter life of loneliness before committing suicide in his mid 30 or 40's. How's that for a fairy tale?)

But that's just the thing, I wont allow myself to be the beta male, even if I fall short within this "attractions scale" of yours. No matter what it takes, I will rewire myself, I only ask for your help in the process. (i.e. Do you know of any videos I should definitely watch, proper approaches to day game since there's no nightclubs in my town, how to think quicker on your feet, etc.)

I thank you for the unmitigated truth; this is the only way to become stronger.

I trainwrecked so hard last night I just thought I'd share.

So there's this girl here in the electronic music scene that I've seen around for 4-5 years. So we're not complete strangers. I've always thought she was cute, but a couple of years ago I made the mistake of staring at her openly (just wasn't paying attention), and she saw me. She's one of those girls that your eyes just find easy to rest on when you scan the room. I made no move, I was caught off guard. But then things spun out of control.

Since then, we see each others at parties about once a month. I try really hard to not be a creeper about this shit, but everytime I seem to happen to look in her direction, she notices, and I get even more self conscious about it. And almost as frequently, she is looking at me. We cannot stop looking at each other, and it is so fucking awkward. I figure she was checking to see if that creeper dude was still looking at her, and yup, I was. After so long, the pressure has built up far too much.

So, just for some background, I have an anxiety disorder. Which means I am petrified when I am not comfortable. I cannot speak, I cannot think, I want nothing more than to go home. I get shaky, I feel sick. I recently started undergoing treatment about 6 months ago, and vastly improved in every way. I started dating, getting laid again, and was feeling good. With my newly found confidence, I sent her a facebook message, hoping to clear the air. It read something like "Hey. How's it going? You may have noticed me looking at you. I really don't mean to, and I'm working on not being a creeper. How's your summer going?" or something. But no reply. Figuring I had completely fucking weirded her out, I forgot about it.

Until last night. She was opening at a show I wanted to see, so I went early so I could see her. (Total creeper style). Figuring I had nothing to lose, I tried to talk to her. Could not. get. words. out. Panic ensued. Was close to saying something to her like 5x, and then out of the blue she comes up and gives me a hug and calls me by name, "hey aaron". And I'm like WTF. I mumble some small talk, try to play it cool, more awkwardness. Then I'm sitting there, happy, but confused, and with no idea what to do now. Outside for a smoke, she walks by... again, cannot choke out any words. Just look at her. FFS. So angry at myself by this point, I work up the nerve to just walk up to her on the dance floor and say " Hey. How's your night going? Cool. I have to go, but do you want to hang out some time?" she replies. "Um. Sure. Just send me a facebook message, yo."

This is so gay. I can talk to most women just fine, but I don't know why this girl in particular just makes me freeze up.