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The PUA community - Page 22

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KoveN-
Profile Joined October 2004
Australia503 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-20 03:56:14
July 20 2011 03:54 GMT
#421
On July 20 2011 12:22 squattincassanova wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 20 2011 12:16 KoveN- wrote:
On July 20 2011 12:10 Blanke wrote:
I've tried using zoosk and match.com, buuut I really don't trust online dating, plus they always trick you into thinking its free at first, but in reality you have very little access to their website unless you pay them $30 a month just to chat and what not!

I have no idea what this couchsurfers nonsense is, but again, I doubt it exists in Saskatchewan.

Anyone who lives in places like L.A. or New York, where thousands of women are walking the streest or dancing in hundreds of night clubs, has NO excuse to be forever alone! (Try living in the prairies, where the horizon surrounds you, if you don't believe me.)


I've slept with many girls from internet dating and not paid a cent. Sign up to 2-3 free ones and message 50-100 girls a week.

Couchsurfers is worldwide.



And yeah, shotgun blasting a million messages and hoping a few will reply will make you an amazing pick up artist right? Cuz when you see that perfect 10 on the street walking away, you can magically clone her 1000 times and then send them all each a message. Maybe one of them will respond.


Again, not everyone has high hopes and dreams of becoming a "pickup artist". Most guys just wanna have sex with girls. Stop trying to convince them that they need to be a pickup artist to get laid alot. It's bullshit.

You don't meet 10's in clubs or bars beacuse real 10's rarely go to bars and clubs. They are doing dancing classes, they are at the Gym or doing boxing classes, they're playing beach volleyball on the weekends, they're in swimming classes etc etc.

They don't have time to spend going to nightclubs because they have lives. If you want real 10's you have to be a real 10 yourself and no 10 is going to want some guy who aspires to be a pickup artist as his main goal in life and spends all his time going out to bars, clubs and streets to "pickup women". They're going to think it's pathetic.
Earll
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
Norway847 Posts
July 20 2011 04:00 GMT
#422
On July 20 2011 12:54 KoveN- wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 20 2011 12:22 squattincassanova wrote:
On July 20 2011 12:16 KoveN- wrote:
On July 20 2011 12:10 Blanke wrote:
I've tried using zoosk and match.com, buuut I really don't trust online dating, plus they always trick you into thinking its free at first, but in reality you have very little access to their website unless you pay them $30 a month just to chat and what not!

I have no idea what this couchsurfers nonsense is, but again, I doubt it exists in Saskatchewan.

Anyone who lives in places like L.A. or New York, where thousands of women are walking the streest or dancing in hundreds of night clubs, has NO excuse to be forever alone! (Try living in the prairies, where the horizon surrounds you, if you don't believe me.)


I've slept with many girls from internet dating and not paid a cent. Sign up to 2-3 free ones and message 50-100 girls a week.

Couchsurfers is worldwide.



And yeah, shotgun blasting a million messages and hoping a few will reply will make you an amazing pick up artist right? Cuz when you see that perfect 10 on the street walking away, you can magically clone her 1000 times and then send them all each a message. Maybe one of them will respond.


Again, not everyone has high hopes and dreams of becoming a "pickup artist". Most guys just wanna have sex with girls. Stop trying to convince them that they need to be a pickup artist to get laid alot. It's bullshit.

You don't meet 10's in clubs or bars beacuse real 10's rarely go to bars and clubs. They are doing dancing classes, they are at the Gym or doing boxing classes, they're playing beach volleyball on the weekends, they're in swimming classes etc etc.

They don't have time to spend going to nightclubs because they have lives. If you want real 10's you have to be a real 10 yourself and no 10 is going to want some guy who aspires to be a pickup artist as his main goal in life and spends all his time going out to bars, clubs and streets to "pickup women". They're going to think it's pathetic.


I don't really see why but you seem to have some pretty twisted views on clubs\night life. Hoping maybe we can change your mind to give you another set of venues to go out and have fun. Not everything has to be about pick up as you said, and that goes for night clubs\bars\etc too.

I am pretty sure that 99.9% of """10's"""" have gone to a club\bar at some point in their life. Most of them probably several times. And I am even sure a decent amount of them go there reasonably often.
Wat
r.Evo
Profile Joined August 2006
Germany14080 Posts
July 20 2011 04:53 GMT
#423
On July 20 2011 12:17 squattincassanova wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 20 2011 10:53 KoveN- wrote:
On July 20 2011 09:38 squattincassanova wrote:
Stop watching videos. Go out and say "Hi" to 10 girls tonight. Just say "HI" and leave.


Unfortunately this is the kind of advice you find in the PUA community. It's a common misconception in the community that Cold Approach is the only way to get better with girls or to increase your confidence. Blah Blah.


Look, if you can't even go up and say hi to a random girl, do you think you can be good with girls in general? Do you think even if you get a few lucky lays from online dating that you will change much? Its about the process and skill development, and not about just getting laid.

If you can't even say "Hi" to a girl. You will most definitely not be a PUA and you will most definitely fail with pickup. I'm not saying there aren't other options, but cold approach is fun, efficient, makes you grow balls, and make you learn how to generate attraction and hold girls attention quick. Its bread and butter and its core to pickup.

A guy who does well at cold approach in a club or during the day at a mall will do just fine at a speed dating place. A guy who ONLY does speed dating will fail miserably in other situations. In speed dating, the girl gives you a few minutes of her time. At a club, you got 5 seconds before you f*** up and she back turns your ass and you stand there looking like a retard.

In a club, you learn how to handle group dynamics, how to handle logistics, how to isolate, how to handle other guys and competition. All these tactical stuff that you dont get to do in a freaking speed dating site.


I think we got by now that you think cold approaches are the one and only tool for everyone.

The point both KoveN- and me make is that while people can be able to say "Hi" to a random girl on the streets they might think it's utterly and completely retarded to do so. - It's pretty much the same bullshit as all the "social pressure" (please, please don't get me started on those) exercises out there.

Stuff like "Say 'Hi' to 10 random girls!" is made for people who have serious social issues. I honestly don't mean that in a negative context, but this type of stuff helps people who can barely look someone in the eye while talking to him, because it's way out of their comfort zone.

If you are fine with talking to a female cashier or to random girls you're studying with, you're not the person those type of exercises will help improving quickly.


In a club, you learn how to handle group dynamics, how to handle logistics, how to isolate, how to handle other guys and competition. All these tactical stuff that you dont get to do in a freaking speed dating site.


A dating site gets you dates. Dates include real interaction with girls with real time to talk and without random routines you're pulling out of your ass. It gets you talking in a way where your brain actually has a chance to relax and focus.

The group dynamics you will find in a nightlife environment are among the easiest to handle out there. Why? Because they're very, very exposed. It's very easy to spot who goes along with who when people are in such an environment.


How to handle other guys and competition?

Just one, very simple question: HOW THE FUCK IS THERE ANY COMPETITION IN A FRIGGIN NIGHTCLUB JESUS CHRIST? (sry, had to =P)

98% of the guys in a club are
-slightly drunk
-staring at girls asses, sitting in their own group
-drunk
-talking about WoW and their new favorite pet
-standing on the dance floor with a drink in their hand, trying to go from one foot to the other in tune with the ryhthm and fuck up anyway
-talking about sports
-totally drunk
-talking about their bankaccounts
-randomly give girls drinks or hit their asses with theirs "by accident"
-....or simply all of the above.

The only "threats" out there are boyfriends (I'm not into girls in relationships out there, unless the dude sucks. Then she's mine and she didn't want him anyway.), brothers and her girlfriends. =P


There is one major thing you keep missing both about mine and about KoveN-'s posts. There is something beyond the phase of trying to be fucking awesome with every chick out there. Once you have things like a satisfying sex life, a confidence in your skill aka not needing a year to get something new going with a girl you suddenly lose all the pressure you had and the tryharding you did before that. Now that's attractive.

There's a reason girls are all over people when they're in a relationship or don't want one and are no where to be seen when they are actually looking for one.


I agree with you, randomly picking up girls, having lots of sex, keeping score and enjoying all that is fun. I'd say it's actually addictive since it's pretty much hunting and harvesting. - However, it's not satisfying in the long run for most people. Once you're past the point I stated above you stop caring about random sex with random girls because you realize it is easily available at all times (that's the #1 thing to learn from pickup imho).

Once you are past that point, it will reflect in everything you say and do in the presence of women. Women recognize the insane autonomy that attitude brings along. They are attracted to it because it incorperates everything the "PUA-community" correctly identified as attractive character traits.


And that is what's called "natural game". That's the point where you can be yourself and be successfull not only with women, but with any social interaction in your life.

Imho if you start with pickup, if you start working on improving yourself and the way you interact with other human beings that should be your goal.
"We don't make mistakes here, we call it happy little accidents." ~Bob Ross
esla_sol
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
United States756 Posts
July 20 2011 05:39 GMT
#424
ill throw in my 2 cents here

i noticed a while back i had a lot of success with women when i was vacationing. like all this crazy shit i never thought was possible would happen.

i got what the difference was- when you are on vacation, you are having fun. women on vacation, having fun. so i started only pursing women who were fun and lively and energetic. and with those people everything just happens so naturally. it also happened to be that most of the time the women tended to be older, or pretty girls who didnt know that they were pretty.

bars/whatever are really shady and dirty places. a lot of drugs and a lot of egos and whatever involved. not the best environment for nurturing yourself and exploring other people. it is also a lot easier to meet people when their defenses arent up constantly.

so yeah, just some thoughts.
squattincassanova
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States650 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-20 09:26:45
July 20 2011 09:26 GMT
#425
On July 20 2011 13:53 r.Evo wrote:
blah blah blah blah


Cold approach isn't the only thing you should do. Its the one of the things you have to do. Make sense?
http://www.youtube.com/squattincassanova (Pickup In-Field) Subscribe if you like!
me_viet
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Australia1350 Posts
July 20 2011 12:53 GMT
#426
so anyone here watches Keys to the VIP? Thoughts on it?
xarthaz
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
1704 Posts
July 20 2011 15:06 GMT
#427
+ Show Spoiler +
On July 20 2011 13:53 r.Evo wrote:
On July 20 2011 12:17 squattincassanova wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 20 2011 10:53 KoveN- wrote:
On July 20 2011 09:38 squattincassanova wrote:
Stop watching videos. Go out and say "Hi" to 10 girls tonight. Just say "HI" and leave.


Unfortunately this is the kind of advice you find in the PUA community. It's a common misconception in the community that Cold Approach is the only way to get better with girls or to increase your confidence. Blah Blah.


Look, if you can't even go up and say hi to a random girl, do you think you can be good with girls in general? Do you think even if you get a few lucky lays from online dating that you will change much? Its about the process and skill development, and not about just getting laid.

If you can't even say "Hi" to a girl. You will most definitely not be a PUA and you will most definitely fail with pickup. I'm not saying there aren't other options, but cold approach is fun, efficient, makes you grow balls, and make you learn how to generate attraction and hold girls attention quick. Its bread and butter and its core to pickup.

A guy who does well at cold approach in a club or during the day at a mall will do just fine at a speed dating place. A guy who ONLY does speed dating will fail miserably in other situations. In speed dating, the girl gives you a few minutes of her time. At a club, you got 5 seconds before you f*** up and she back turns your ass and you stand there looking like a retard.

In a club, you learn how to handle group dynamics, how to handle logistics, how to isolate, how to handle other guys and competition. All these tactical stuff that you dont get to do in a freaking speed dating site.


I think we got by now that you think cold approaches are the one and only tool for everyone.

The point both KoveN- and me make is that while people can be able to say "Hi" to a random girl on the streets they might think it's utterly and completely retarded to do so. - It's pretty much the same bullshit as all the "social pressure" (please, please don't get me started on those) exercises out there.

Stuff like "Say 'Hi' to 10 random girls!" is made for people who have serious social issues. I honestly don't mean that in a negative context, but this type of stuff helps people who can barely look someone in the eye while talking to him, because it's way out of their comfort zone.

If you are fine with talking to a female cashier or to random girls you're studying with, you're not the person those type of exercises will help improving quickly.


In a club, you learn how to handle group dynamics, how to handle logistics, how to isolate, how to handle other guys and competition. All these tactical stuff that you dont get to do in a freaking speed dating site.


A dating site gets you dates. Dates include real interaction with girls with real time to talk and without random routines you're pulling out of your ass. It gets you talking in a way where your brain actually has a chance to relax and focus.

The group dynamics you will find in a nightlife environment are among the easiest to handle out there. Why? Because they're very, very exposed. It's very easy to spot who goes along with who when people are in such an environment.


How to handle other guys and competition?

Just one, very simple question: HOW THE FUCK IS THERE ANY COMPETITION IN A FRIGGIN NIGHTCLUB JESUS CHRIST? (sry, had to =P)

98% of the guys in a club are
-slightly drunk
-staring at girls asses, sitting in their own group
-drunk
-talking about WoW and their new favorite pet
-standing on the dance floor with a drink in their hand, trying to go from one foot to the other in tune with the ryhthm and fuck up anyway
-talking about sports
-totally drunk
-talking about their bankaccounts
-randomly give girls drinks or hit their asses with theirs "by accident"
-....or simply all of the above.

The only "threats" out there are boyfriends (I'm not into girls in relationships out there, unless the dude sucks. Then she's mine and she didn't want him anyway.), brothers and her girlfriends. =P


There is one major thing you keep missing both about mine and about KoveN-'s posts. There is something beyond the phase of trying to be fucking awesome with every chick out there. Once you have things like a satisfying sex life, a confidence in your skill aka not needing a year to get something new going with a girl you suddenly lose all the pressure you had and the tryharding you did before that. Now that's attractive.

There's a reason girls are all over people when they're in a relationship or don't want one and are no where to be seen when they are actually looking for one.


I agree with you, randomly picking up girls, having lots of sex, keeping score and enjoying all that is fun. I'd say it's actually addictive since it's pretty much hunting and harvesting. - However, it's not satisfying in the long run for most people. Once you're past the point I stated above you stop caring about random sex with random girls because you realize it is easily available at all times (that's the #1 thing to learn from pickup imho).

Once you are past that point, it will reflect in everything you say and do in the presence of women. Women recognize the insane autonomy that attitude brings along. They are attracted to it because it incorperates everything the "PUA-community" correctly identified as attractive character traits.


And that is what's called "natural game". That's the point where you can be yourself and be successfull not only with women, but with any social interaction in your life.

Imho if you start with pickup, if you start working on improving yourself and the way you interact with other human beings that should be your goal.
This has changed - in 90s clubbin was straight forward and the raving culture helped. but now everyone is armed with pua material, girls are used to getting opened so the bitch shield is higher than ever & cock blockers all around target, afc orbiters annoying any opener. and you need top notch game with solid bf destroyers, fast amog killers to even stand a chance. its a dog eat dog world in the club right now, survival of the fittest
Aah thats the stuff..
Xiphos
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Canada7507 Posts
July 20 2011 18:26 GMT
#428
On July 21 2011 00:06 xarthaz wrote:
Show nested quote +
+ Show Spoiler +
On July 20 2011 13:53 r.Evo wrote:
On July 20 2011 12:17 squattincassanova wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 20 2011 10:53 KoveN- wrote:
On July 20 2011 09:38 squattincassanova wrote:
Stop watching videos. Go out and say "Hi" to 10 girls tonight. Just say "HI" and leave.


Unfortunately this is the kind of advice you find in the PUA community. It's a common misconception in the community that Cold Approach is the only way to get better with girls or to increase your confidence. Blah Blah.


Look, if you can't even go up and say hi to a random girl, do you think you can be good with girls in general? Do you think even if you get a few lucky lays from online dating that you will change much? Its about the process and skill development, and not about just getting laid.

If you can't even say "Hi" to a girl. You will most definitely not be a PUA and you will most definitely fail with pickup. I'm not saying there aren't other options, but cold approach is fun, efficient, makes you grow balls, and make you learn how to generate attraction and hold girls attention quick. Its bread and butter and its core to pickup.

A guy who does well at cold approach in a club or during the day at a mall will do just fine at a speed dating place. A guy who ONLY does speed dating will fail miserably in other situations. In speed dating, the girl gives you a few minutes of her time. At a club, you got 5 seconds before you f*** up and she back turns your ass and you stand there looking like a retard.

In a club, you learn how to handle group dynamics, how to handle logistics, how to isolate, how to handle other guys and competition. All these tactical stuff that you dont get to do in a freaking speed dating site.


I think we got by now that you think cold approaches are the one and only tool for everyone.

The point both KoveN- and me make is that while people can be able to say "Hi" to a random girl on the streets they might think it's utterly and completely retarded to do so. - It's pretty much the same bullshit as all the "social pressure" (please, please don't get me started on those) exercises out there.

Stuff like "Say 'Hi' to 10 random girls!" is made for people who have serious social issues. I honestly don't mean that in a negative context, but this type of stuff helps people who can barely look someone in the eye while talking to him, because it's way out of their comfort zone.

If you are fine with talking to a female cashier or to random girls you're studying with, you're not the person those type of exercises will help improving quickly.


In a club, you learn how to handle group dynamics, how to handle logistics, how to isolate, how to handle other guys and competition. All these tactical stuff that you dont get to do in a freaking speed dating site.


A dating site gets you dates. Dates include real interaction with girls with real time to talk and without random routines you're pulling out of your ass. It gets you talking in a way where your brain actually has a chance to relax and focus.

The group dynamics you will find in a nightlife environment are among the easiest to handle out there. Why? Because they're very, very exposed. It's very easy to spot who goes along with who when people are in such an environment.


How to handle other guys and competition?

Just one, very simple question: HOW THE FUCK IS THERE ANY COMPETITION IN A FRIGGIN NIGHTCLUB JESUS CHRIST? (sry, had to =P)

98% of the guys in a club are
-slightly drunk
-staring at girls asses, sitting in their own group
-drunk
-talking about WoW and their new favorite pet
-standing on the dance floor with a drink in their hand, trying to go from one foot to the other in tune with the ryhthm and fuck up anyway
-talking about sports
-totally drunk
-talking about their bankaccounts
-randomly give girls drinks or hit their asses with theirs "by accident"
-....or simply all of the above.

The only "threats" out there are boyfriends (I'm not into girls in relationships out there, unless the dude sucks. Then she's mine and she didn't want him anyway.), brothers and her girlfriends. =P


There is one major thing you keep missing both about mine and about KoveN-'s posts. There is something beyond the phase of trying to be fucking awesome with every chick out there. Once you have things like a satisfying sex life, a confidence in your skill aka not needing a year to get something new going with a girl you suddenly lose all the pressure you had and the tryharding you did before that. Now that's attractive.

There's a reason girls are all over people when they're in a relationship or don't want one and are no where to be seen when they are actually looking for one.


I agree with you, randomly picking up girls, having lots of sex, keeping score and enjoying all that is fun. I'd say it's actually addictive since it's pretty much hunting and harvesting. - However, it's not satisfying in the long run for most people. Once you're past the point I stated above you stop caring about random sex with random girls because you realize it is easily available at all times (that's the #1 thing to learn from pickup imho).

Once you are past that point, it will reflect in everything you say and do in the presence of women. Women recognize the insane autonomy that attitude brings along. They are attracted to it because it incorperates everything the "PUA-community" correctly identified as attractive character traits.


And that is what's called "natural game". That's the point where you can be yourself and be successfull not only with women, but with any social interaction in your life.

Imho if you start with pickup, if you start working on improving yourself and the way you interact with other human beings that should be your goal.
This has changed - in 90s clubbin was straight forward and the raving culture helped. but now everyone is armed with pua material, girls are used to getting opened so the bitch shield is higher than ever & cock blockers all around target, afc orbiters annoying any opener. and you need top notch game with solid bf destroyers, fast amog killers to even stand a chance. its a dog eat dog world in the club right now, survival of the fittest


For "bitches" or this so-called "shit testers" that PUA speaks off. If they say something like bitchy to you, just simply ask them "why are you being so rude" and let her explain (assuming that you haven't be a jerk to her just yet). If she can't explain it, it will embarrass the fuck out of her in public. Her bitch shield will be completely shut off. Say "God, what a bitch that you are." and walk away sounding mad but do it with style and rhythm. Then look around for another girl to hit on, the next girl would be very impress with the ballzy move by telling the previous girl off so your chance to fuck that night would greatly increase. If not, the previous girl will probably come back to talk to you and then yeah that would have been a great fuck too. As long as you do being mad with style and not crazy, you'll gain everybody's respect at a bar.

Otherwise, just memorize your opening lines and write down EVERY single thing that you can say to tell you off and find "counters" to her while gaining the ground. But that requires tons of memory work because I have been into situations that a girl gave out 9 shit tests before finally settling down.
2014 - ᕙ( •̀ل͜•́) ϡ Raise your bows brood warriors! ᕙ( •̀ل͜•́) ϡ
xarthaz
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
1704 Posts
July 20 2011 18:35 GMT
#429
applying logic to relations with women - not good.
inducing concept of liability in infancy of relation - counterproductive.
inducing scarcity mentality more efficient through appeal to emotions and speculation over future, rather than liability of woman.
asking questions instead of making statements - not good.
Aah thats the stuff..
Colbert
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Canada148 Posts
July 22 2011 03:55 GMT
#430
On July 20 2011 21:53 me_viet wrote:
so anyone here watches Keys to the VIP? Thoughts on it?


A few guys are good but most are pretty embarrassing. The "panel" is a joke, that's for sure.
Sometimes you win, Sometimes you learn
ShocK822
Profile Joined December 2010
United States18 Posts
July 22 2011 08:24 GMT
#431
I see no harm in this, women get magazines like cosmopolitan, why shouldn't men get a strategy guide?
Colbert
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Canada148 Posts
July 22 2011 21:53 GMT
#432
On July 22 2011 17:24 ShocK822 wrote:
I see no harm in this, women get magazines like cosmopolitan, why shouldn't men get a strategy guide?


This is exactly what I think. Girls start reading Cosmopolitan when they're 13...
Sometimes you win, Sometimes you learn
Maple Bass
Profile Joined July 2011
22 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-23 14:57:16
July 23 2011 12:20 GMT
#433
On July 20 2011 08:03 Blanke wrote:
It brings great concern to my heart when I realize I fit within the beta male category, a fate I refuse to accept given recent events in my life. Unfortunately, living in Saskatchewan offers little opportunity to remedy this dilemma, given our narrow population that mostly consists of cliques whom I do not connect with.

+ Show Spoiler +
Ironically, my unrelenting commitment to working out has yet to yield any results with women, and while I certainly agree with another poster whom stated that learning to dance is basically an instant-win, through my own experience i can vouch that slam poetry is even better.

Yes, you heard me, slam poetry. IMPROV in fact! Not that I am the least bit fluent in this craft, (for myself, improv is like throwing my brain at a brick wall over and over again, desperately searching for cracks to find an epiphany), but last weekend I met a man who is, and begrudgingly, i was utterly outclassed.

Maybe it's the conviction in doing slam poetry off the top of your head, but all the girls were lining up for him. Goes to show you that some hobbies were made superior to others. I'm 19 years old, grew up mostly writing and playing video games, and I think this summer has confirmed my suspicions that gaming is amongst the worst hobbies you can occupy yourself with when it comes to women. (I can confidently say that with conviction!)

In fact, if I was an expert at anything else at this point, I'd give up gaming altogether. I think many of us bullshit ourselves into thinking we'll meet that one perfect demographic of nerds, where we'll be accepted "for who we are" and meet the girl of our dreams. As I enter my second year of college in September, I am overcome by this sense of utter dread that my time to change is waning swiftly. (The fact that my friends complacently reassure me, saying "haha, of course you'll meet someone in college!" is not the least bit comforting!)

If I come across as a bitter and spiteful person, it is only because I am very, very angry with myself and the essential skills I never developed over the past decade. (I work in the prairies as a painter 9.5 hrs a day, 4-5 days a week, and I just spend all day pondering over the secret to hitting on women while I mull about my work.)

Your post has enlightened me of some of my weaknesses, most profoundly that dating in life is not Hollywood bullshit. (i.e. the nerdy nice guy does NOT happen to meet a women of his chemistry who falls for his personality, but instead lives a bitter life of loneliness before committing suicide in his mid 30 or 40's. How's that for a fairy tale?)

But that's just the thing, I wont allow myself to be the beta male, even if I fall short within this "attractions scale" of yours. No matter what it takes, I will rewire myself, I only ask for your help in the process. (i.e. Do you know of any videos I should definitely watch, proper approaches to day game since there's no nightclubs in my town, how to think quicker on your feet, etc.)

I thank you for the unmitigated truth; this is the only way to become stronger.


Jesus Christ people - this guy here has openly and honestly posted asking for help. If PUA stuff helped you in any way then stop debating over which methods are more effective and give him some advice instead.

First of all - good on you for admitting that you need help. And I understand what you're saying about being suicidal - it's a horrible feeling. My suggestion is that you check out David DeAngelo's free e-mailing list - it can be subscribed to at www.doubleyourdating.com. He sends about one e-mail a week and the e-mails have advice on how to say hello to a girl on a street and ask her out for a coffee without feeling shy or more importantly what not to say. If you can't afford to buy his E-book you can download the torrent from www.thepiratebay.org.

Secondly - this is just from my experience - but do not expect instant results. Some people may be able to pull it off immediately after finding out about PUA-ry, but I've been reading the material on and off for almost three years now and still struggle at times to open to a woman. What results have been concrete, however, is my capacity to understand why I'm failing with women. Even if a girl does end up rejecting me, at least now I can point to the mistakes I made, rather than blaming it on life being unfair. This has helped immensely in 'curing' me of long depressive spells and made my focus shift to further self-improvement - 'cos at least now I know that the possibility of getting better is there.

Feel free to PM me or ask more questions in this thread if you want further help.
squattincassanova
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States650 Posts
July 24 2011 18:59 GMT
#434
On July 23 2011 21:20 Maple Bass wrote:
I've been reading the material on and off for almost three years now and still struggle at times to open to a woman.



On July 23 2011 21:20 Maple Bass wrote:
Feel free to PM me or ask more questions in this thread if you want further help.




Does not compute.
http://www.youtube.com/squattincassanova (Pickup In-Field) Subscribe if you like!
BestZergOnEast
Profile Joined November 2006
Canada358 Posts
July 24 2011 19:12 GMT
#435
PUA community has definitely improved my inner game, helped me deal with approach anxiety and general AFC behaviour. My gf just broke up with me couple days ago so I have been back to approaching women. So far just POF but I think I will focus more on direct or situation openers IRL. Have plans to go to AWESOME venue tonight, may try some day gaming over the next week. Haven't been with a really hot girl sexually in a long time, so this will be a great challenge. May start a journal.
ToxNub
Profile Joined June 2010
Canada805 Posts
July 24 2011 19:42 GMT
#436
I trainwrecked so hard last night I just thought I'd share.

So there's this girl here in the electronic music scene that I've seen around for 4-5 years. So we're not complete strangers. I've always thought she was cute, but a couple of years ago I made the mistake of staring at her openly (just wasn't paying attention), and she saw me. She's one of those girls that your eyes just find easy to rest on when you scan the room. I made no move, I was caught off guard. But then things spun out of control.

Since then, we see each others at parties about once a month. I try really hard to not be a creeper about this shit, but everytime I seem to happen to look in her direction, she notices, and I get even more self conscious about it. And almost as frequently, she is looking at me. We cannot stop looking at each other, and it is so fucking awkward. I figure she was checking to see if that creeper dude was still looking at her, and yup, I was. After so long, the pressure has built up far too much.

So, just for some background, I have an anxiety disorder. Which means I am petrified when I am not comfortable. I cannot speak, I cannot think, I want nothing more than to go home. I get shaky, I feel sick. I recently started undergoing treatment about 6 months ago, and vastly improved in every way. I started dating, getting laid again, and was feeling good. With my newly found confidence, I sent her a facebook message, hoping to clear the air. It read something like "Hey. How's it going? You may have noticed me looking at you. I really don't mean to, and I'm working on not being a creeper. How's your summer going?" or something. But no reply. Figuring I had completely fucking weirded her out, I forgot about it.

Until last night. She was opening at a show I wanted to see, so I went early so I could see her. (Total creeper style). Figuring I had nothing to lose, I tried to talk to her. Could not. get. words. out. Panic ensued. Was close to saying something to her like 5x, and then out of the blue she comes up and gives me a hug and calls me by name, "hey aaron". And I'm like WTF. I mumble some small talk, try to play it cool, more awkwardness. Then I'm sitting there, happy, but confused, and with no idea what to do now. Outside for a smoke, she walks by... again, cannot choke out any words. Just look at her. FFS. So angry at myself by this point, I work up the nerve to just walk up to her on the dance floor and say " Hey. How's your night going? Cool. I have to go, but do you want to hang out some time?" she replies. "Um. Sure. Just send me a facebook message, yo."

This is so gay. I can talk to most women just fine, but I don't know why this girl in particular just makes me freeze up.
BestZergOnEast
Profile Joined November 2006
Canada358 Posts
July 24 2011 20:01 GMT
#437
Cause you have oneitis. I mean, going to somewhere cause you know someone else will be there without having plans with them is a little creepy. But w/e. Follow through w/ her but initiate things w/ a ton of new girls, because A) things probably won't work out with her even though she is showing IOI (thats why u shotgun approach it) and B) if you are focusing too much on her u wont be able to game it at all, so u game some other girls so that u have them to all back on and you're not too focused on this girl.

basically, you have oneitis.
squattincassanova
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States650 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-24 21:47:38
July 24 2011 21:45 GMT
#438
You know how you get awesome? Open every set you see. Fat, old, hot, homeless men, goths, emos. No excuses, you don't need to find 10's to open to get better. Conversational skills improve from talking to anybody. Troll them if you have to for the lols.

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http://www.youtube.com/squattincassanova (Pickup In-Field) Subscribe if you like!
Sotamursu
Profile Joined June 2010
Finland612 Posts
July 25 2011 14:42 GMT
#439
On July 25 2011 04:42 ToxNub wrote:
+ Show Spoiler +
I trainwrecked so hard last night I just thought I'd share.

So there's this girl here in the electronic music scene that I've seen around for 4-5 years. So we're not complete strangers. I've always thought she was cute, but a couple of years ago I made the mistake of staring at her openly (just wasn't paying attention), and she saw me. She's one of those girls that your eyes just find easy to rest on when you scan the room. I made no move, I was caught off guard. But then things spun out of control.

Since then, we see each others at parties about once a month. I try really hard to not be a creeper about this shit, but everytime I seem to happen to look in her direction, she notices, and I get even more self conscious about it. And almost as frequently, she is looking at me. We cannot stop looking at each other, and it is so fucking awkward. I figure she was checking to see if that creeper dude was still looking at her, and yup, I was. After so long, the pressure has built up far too much.

So, just for some background, I have an anxiety disorder. Which means I am petrified when I am not comfortable. I cannot speak, I cannot think, I want nothing more than to go home. I get shaky, I feel sick. I recently started undergoing treatment about 6 months ago, and vastly improved in every way. I started dating, getting laid again, and was feeling good. With my newly found confidence, I sent her a facebook message, hoping to clear the air. It read something like "Hey. How's it going? You may have noticed me looking at you. I really don't mean to, and I'm working on not being a creeper. How's your summer going?" or something. But no reply. Figuring I had completely fucking weirded her out, I forgot about it.

Until last night. She was opening at a show I wanted to see, so I went early so I could see her. (Total creeper style). Figuring I had nothing to lose, I tried to talk to her. Could not. get. words. out. Panic ensued. Was close to saying something to her like 5x, and then out of the blue she comes up and gives me a hug and calls me by name, "hey aaron". And I'm like WTF. I mumble some small talk, try to play it cool, more awkwardness. Then I'm sitting there, happy, but confused, and with no idea what to do now. Outside for a smoke, she walks by... again, cannot choke out any words. Just look at her. FFS. So angry at myself by this point, I work up the nerve to just walk up to her on the dance floor and say " Hey. How's your night going? Cool. I have to go, but do you want to hang out some time?" she replies. "Um. Sure. Just send me a facebook message, yo."

This is so gay. I can talk to most women just fine, but I don't know why this girl in particular just makes me freeze up.

Oh god, did you actually call yourself a creeper?
couches
Profile Joined November 2010
618 Posts
July 25 2011 15:46 GMT
#440
On July 20 2011 14:39 esla_sol wrote:
ill throw in my 2 cents here

i noticed a while back i had a lot of success with women when i was vacationing. like all this crazy shit i never thought was possible would happen.

i got what the difference was- when you are on vacation, you are having fun. women on vacation, having fun. so i started only pursing women who were fun and lively and energetic. and with those people everything just happens so naturally. it also happened to be that most of the time the women tended to be older, or pretty girls who didnt know that they were pretty.

bars/whatever are really shady and dirty places. a lot of drugs and a lot of egos and whatever involved. not the best environment for nurturing yourself and exploring other people. it is also a lot easier to meet people when their defenses arent up constantly.

so yeah, just some thoughts.

It's cause you are out of your comfort zone so you feel more able to take risks with seemingly less to lose. You're not in your routine mode so it makes you feel like you can get away with more. I felt this way when I vacationed out of the country for a month.

Back home in the bars and places I frequent I wouldn't dare "game" or whatever pua terms it is. All the spots I visit I am there regularly, people know me, I play gigs at these places. I know who the regulars are and who is new. I still make connections, even with women I've known for years but never much more than on a first name basis. I don't go to my spots with the intent of finding a lay. I go there because I want to see friends and have a good time, support whatever band is there that night because I know when I'm playing there they do the same for me.

But when I was on vacation I was like, fuck it whatever. I'll not be back here for years so if I make an ass out of myself it doesn't matter. It worked pretty well. It made me feel guilty because of how easy it was and I know I wouldn't act like that at home.
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