• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EDT 00:40
CEST 06:40
KST 13:40
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
[ASL20] Ro24 Preview Pt1: Runway132v2 & SC: Evo Complete: Weekend Double Feature3Team Liquid Map Contest #21 - Presented by Monster Energy9uThermal's 2v2 Tour: $15,000 Main Event18Serral wins EWC 202549
Community News
Maestros of The Game—$20k event w/ live finals in Paris18Weekly Cups (Aug 11-17): MaxPax triples again!13Weekly Cups (Aug 4-10): MaxPax wins a triple6SC2's Safe House 2 - October 18 & 195Weekly Cups (Jul 28-Aug 3): herO doubles up6
StarCraft 2
General
What mix of new and old maps do you want in the next 1v1 ladder pool? (SC2) : Geoff 'iNcontroL' Robinson has passed away The GOAT ranking of GOAT rankings RSL Revival patreon money discussion thread Weekly Cups (Aug 11-17): MaxPax triples again!
Tourneys
Maestros of The Game—$20k event w/ live finals in Paris Sparkling Tuna Cup - Weekly Open Tournament Monday Nights Weeklies Master Swan Open (Global Bronze-Master 2) $5,100+ SEL Season 2 Championship (SC: Evo)
Strategy
Custom Maps
External Content
Mutation # 487 Think Fast Mutation # 486 Watch the Skies Mutation # 485 Death from Below Mutation # 484 Magnetic Pull
Brood War
General
Flash Announces (and Retracts) Hiatus From ASL BW General Discussion BW AKA finder tool Maps with Neutral Command Centers Victoria gamers
Tourneys
[ASL20] Ro24 Group C [Megathread] Daily Proleagues [ASL20] Ro24 Group A [ASL20] Ro24 Group B
Strategy
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Fighting Spirit mining rates [G] Mineral Boosting Muta micro map competition
Other Games
General Games
General RTS Discussion Thread Dawn of War IV Path of Exile Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread Nintendo Switch Thread
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
TL Mafia Community Thread Vanilla Mini Mafia
Community
General
Russo-Ukrainian War Thread US Politics Mega-thread Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine The year 2050 European Politico-economics QA Mega-thread
Fan Clubs
INnoVation Fan Club SKT1 Classic Fan Club!
Media & Entertainment
Anime Discussion Thread Movie Discussion! [Manga] One Piece [\m/] Heavy Metal Thread
Sports
2024 - 2026 Football Thread TeamLiquid Health and Fitness Initiative For 2023 Formula 1 Discussion
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
High temperatures on bridge(s) Gtx660 graphics card replacement Installation of Windows 10 suck at "just a moment"
TL Community
"World Leading Blockchain Asset Retrieval" The Automated Ban List TeamLiquid Team Shirt On Sale
Blogs
Breaking the Meta: Non-Stand…
TrAiDoS
INDEPENDIENTE LA CTM
XenOsky
[Girl blog} My fema…
artosisisthebest
Sharpening the Filtration…
frozenclaw
ASL S20 English Commentary…
namkraft
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 3175 users

The Hardest day of my Life

Blogs > {88}iNcontroL
Post a Reply
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Next All
iNcontroL *
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
USA29055 Posts
November 21 2008 19:10 GMT
#1
I awoke feeling solid. Nothing was out of order and everything was looking up. I had enjoyed a night of drinking with my buddies at a bar. Nothing exciting but fun enough.

I did have morningwood. But that is normal and fine. I didn't have any particularly erotic dream or any reason really to have this boner but what reason do we need? It was there and I was fine with that. An ample mark of fertility and virility. I was a king of some unimportant self-contained morning jungle. Sweet. Uninspired I decided it best to get back to sleep. It was 8am or so and I was at a buddies house.. no particular need to wake up. So with a stretch to get the stiffness out I closed my eyes and went back to sleep.. thinking all would be ok.

I again awoke a couple hours later and felt fine and well. Again I noticed that my dick was at full sail and scouring the winds for a connection flight. This didn't stroke me as odd.. 2 morningwoods can happen and probably have. I usually don't mark my memory with such things but surely it has happened. In any case it was time to wake up. The house was stirring and my buddies sisters were walking around and being loud.. a typical day in their house. For them maybe.

For me I was growing astonished at what was taking place betwixt my legs.

We had downloaded the latest Dexter episode the night before so we sat and began to watch it in his living room. I noticed that my sticky situation was not going to be sticky..it was going to be hard. At this point I was beginning to commit brain time to my boner. What the fuck is keeping him around for this long. Why the fuck hasn't he given up? I went to take a piss because often times I get morningwood and it simply goes away after a nice piss.

As I am sure many of you know pissing while fully hard is fucking difficult. And let me remove all doubt and clarify now: It wasn't a soft boner that was just kinda there.. this was a rager. Something reserved for situations when only a harpoon would deal the same kind of damage. I nearly break my dick getting it to aim down and take my piss. After a long and unenjoyable piss I exit the bathroom thinking "only a matter of time." My wood had other ideas apparently.

I sat and tried to take my mind off of it. As I watched Dexter I grew increasingly uncomfortable. We had gone 3 and nearly 4 hours of solid boner with no cause. I had taken the piss and I had given it it's time but it simply wouldn't get the fuck out of my way. This situation would be fine and well at home.. I'd blast it's load and say g'bye but here? My friend's house? What the fuck am I going to do. By now it was throbbing.. it hurt. I think the sustained blood in that area was angry and was letting me know. I kept readjusting myself on the couch. I thought about ugly people and things that would normally make a flagpole flaccid. None of them appeased the angry god in my pants.

Again I interrupted my Dexter episode thinking "maybe a shit is what you want? So I set to the task of shitting while having a giant boner. Again I pry my dick below the toilet seal (this time while sitting) which was painful enough but then while I am shitting my sealevel dick pisses between the toilet and the space where the lid closes. Great. I am making a mess. Not a terrible mess mind you. But one you'd still want to avoid. The forced shit over and the mess cleaned I begin to panic. It won't leave me alone.

I suffer through the end of the Dexter episode and briskly get up telling my friend I must take a shower. I get in the bathroom take off my clothes and set the water to hot. I get in and find myself talking to my cock. "Alright you son'f'bitch, time to go." I do what every man does every day. I jerk off. I jerk with vindictive fervor. The kind of stuff reserved for priests after a wedding. It took a long time because my dick was raw with sustained blood. I didn't enjoy it and I sure as hell know why. Afterwards I towel off and stand in the bathroom looking down at my still hard dick. What-the-fuck is wrong with you. I swear if penises could smile it'd have a fucking mustache covering it's shit eating grin. Why the mustache? Cause only annoying assholes grow those. And my dick was being an annoying asshole.

I stood in the bathroom naked. Looking down at my dick. Willing flaccidity. Finally I thought I began to see it deflate. And sure enough: Like the lineup SC2gg fielded, it went down. I remember my eye threatening an appropriate tear. I had finally gotten rid of my 4.5 hour boner without a cause. Nightmares of the cialis warning "for erections that last over 4 hours please consult a doctor immediately" flooded away in a white river of showered cum.

It was hard but I managed to shake the jerk free. Don't feel bad, he had it cumming.

****
Fontong
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
United States6454 Posts
November 21 2008 19:17 GMT
#2
LOL I thought this was going to be another complaining blog or something. omg So many great lines in this...
I thought about ugly people and things that would normally make a flagpole flaccid.

Wow hilarious read 5/5 for sure.
[SECRET FONT] "Dragoon bunker"
Heyoka
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
Katowice25012 Posts
November 21 2008 19:22 GMT
#3
I also shed a tear
@RealHeyoka | ESL / DreamHack StarCraft Lead
KreaGata
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States1702 Posts
November 21 2008 19:22 GMT
#4
I was expecting a compelling tale of perseverance and tenacity ultimately rewarded with victory. I was not let down.
the truest opportunists thrive in the maelstrom
Makhno
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
Sweden585 Posts
November 21 2008 19:27 GMT
#5
Sounds like a real battle took place, though I was expecting someone to reveal your condition to your friends the whole story through. I'm actually glad you got away with it, it would've been too painful to read about the reactions from your friends and those sisters, haha.

Anyways 5/5, gj man.
"If I think, everything is lost"
iNcontroL *
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
USA29055 Posts
November 21 2008 19:29 GMT
#6
I actually told him quite frankly "I jerked off in your shower. Here is why:.." I then told him of my battle. He laughed.
bioboyAT
Profile Joined July 2004
Austria1763 Posts
November 21 2008 19:30 GMT
#7
good job inc
Milchmann | DeadVessel: Milchmann pwns. I fail.
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32066 Posts
November 21 2008 19:31 GMT
#8
hahahhahh. Was there a walk of shame out of that bathroom?

You sure your friends didn't play a prank on you and spike a drink with a few viagra tabs?
PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
o3.power91
Profile Blog Joined November 2007
Bahrain5288 Posts
November 21 2008 19:31 GMT
#9
On November 22 2008 04:22 heyoka wrote:
I also shed a tear

ZeeTemplar
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
United States557 Posts
November 21 2008 19:32 GMT
#10
i am sorry you had endured such a trial D:

glad you flogged that monstrosity into submission
Jangbi storms!!!
Makhno
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
Sweden585 Posts
November 21 2008 19:33 GMT
#11
On November 22 2008 04:29 {88}iNcontroL wrote:
I actually told him quite frankly "I jerked off in your shower. Here is why:.." I then told him of my battle. He laughed.


Sounds like a good friend, some of my pals would never have passed on something like that, it would've been lame jokes for the next month or so until I flipped and killed them.
"If I think, everything is lost"
iNcontroL *
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
USA29055 Posts
November 21 2008 19:36 GMT
#12
On November 22 2008 04:31 Hawk wrote:
hahahhahh. Was there a walk of shame out of that bathroom?

You sure your friends didn't play a prank on you and spike a drink with a few viagra tabs?


Shame? Are you kidding me? I nearly gave everyone a hug. I was so fucking happy it was over.
iNCuBuS_
Profile Blog Joined August 2004
United States905 Posts
November 21 2008 19:40 GMT
#13
I was expecting a porno-esque ending involving one of his sisters (assuming they are of age and close in age to you).
Awesome read nonetheless!
iNcontroL *
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
USA29055 Posts
November 21 2008 19:43 GMT
#14
Sometimes you don't get what you expect. I wanted a simple case of morningwood and I got the termiboner. You wanted a porno session between me and my friend's two hot sisters.. common man.
clazziquai
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
6685 Posts
November 21 2008 19:48 GMT
#15
On November 22 2008 04:31 o3.power91 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 22 2008 04:22 heyoka wrote:
I also shed a tear


#1 Sea.Really Fan / #1 Nesh Fan / Terran Forever~
ulszz
Profile Blog Joined June 2007
Jamaica1787 Posts
November 21 2008 19:48 GMT
#16
hahahhahaha wtf hahha great

the last line was the best possible last line ever lol
everliving, everfaithful, eversure
gm.tOSS
Profile Joined September 2005
Germany898 Posts
November 21 2008 19:50 GMT
#17
haha nice read 4/5
HuK HuK HuK | ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | There is death in the hane.
RaGe
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
Belgium9947 Posts
November 21 2008 19:55 GMT
#18
Dunno if you know this, but morning wood is usually not created by erotic dreams, but is just your body testing your primary functions while you're a sleep. I think you average around 20 boners a night.

But what you described.. it must be something else.. something from outside of this world. This truly is the most raging boner I have ever heard of, and I don't doubt someone slipped you a pill of some shit, maybe even the night before.
Moderatorsometimes I get intimidated by the size of my right testicle
SirGlinG
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
Sweden933 Posts
November 21 2008 19:55 GMT
#19
Wow GJ! This gave me a hard on! oh snap...
Not my chair. Not my problem. That's what I say
Kennigit *
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
Canada19447 Posts
November 21 2008 20:01 GMT
#20
5/5 for blog title alone.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Next All
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
Korean StarCraft League
03:00
Week 79
CranKy Ducklings151
HKG_Chickenman39
davetesta36
IntoTheiNu 28
Liquipedia
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
Nina 282
RuFF_SC2 115
StarCraft: Brood War
Sea 2327
ggaemo 930
Leta 201
Sexy 106
Dota 2
monkeys_forever823
NeuroSwarm102
LuMiX0
League of Legends
JimRising 681
Counter-Strike
Stewie2K380
C9.Mang0372
Super Smash Bros
amsayoshi58
Other Games
summit1g7667
shahzam768
singsing306
ViBE242
Trikslyr34
Organizations
Other Games
gamesdonequick920
BasetradeTV31
StarCraft 2
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
sctven
[ Show 14 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• Berry_CruncH88
• Sammyuel 21
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• Migwel
• sooper7s
StarCraft: Brood War
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
League of Legends
• Lourlo767
• Stunt272
Upcoming Events
CranKy Ducklings
5h 20m
SC Evo League
7h 20m
WardiTV Summer Champion…
8h 20m
Classic vs Percival
Spirit vs NightMare
CSO Cup
11h 20m
[BSL 2025] Weekly
13h 20m
Sparkling Tuna Cup
1d 5h
SC Evo League
1d 7h
Replay Cast
1d 19h
Afreeca Starleague
2 days
Queen vs HyuN
EffOrt vs Calm
Wardi Open
2 days
[ Show More ]
RotterdaM Event
2 days
Replay Cast
2 days
Afreeca Starleague
3 days
Rush vs TBD
Jaedong vs Mong
Afreeca Starleague
4 days
herO vs TBD
Royal vs Barracks
Replay Cast
4 days
The PondCast
5 days
Replay Cast
5 days
LiuLi Cup
6 days
Cosmonarchy
6 days
OyAji vs Sziky
Sziky vs WolFix
WolFix vs OyAji
BSL Team Wars
6 days
Team Hawk vs Team Dewalt
BSL Team Wars
6 days
Team Hawk vs Team Bonyth
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Jiahua Invitational
uThermal 2v2 Main Event
HCC Europe

Ongoing

Copa Latinoamericana 4
BSL 20 Team Wars
KCM Race Survival 2025 Season 3
BSL 21 Qualifiers
ASL Season 20
CSL Season 18: Qualifier 1
Acropolis #4 - TS1
CSLAN 3
SEL Season 2 Championship
WardiTV Summer 2025
Esports World Cup 2025
BLAST Bounty Fall 2025
BLAST Bounty Fall Qual
IEM Cologne 2025
FISSURE Playground #1
BLAST.tv Austin Major 2025

Upcoming

CSL Season 18: Qualifier 2
CSL 2025 AUTUMN (S18)
LASL Season 20
BSL Season 21
BSL 21 Team A
Chzzk MurlocKing SC1 vs SC2 Cup #2
RSL Revival: Season 2
Maestros of the Game
EC S1
Sisters' Call Cup
IEM Chengdu 2025
PGL Masters Bucharest 2025
Thunderpick World Champ.
MESA Nomadic Masters Fall
CS Asia Championships 2025
Roobet Cup 2025
ESL Pro League S22
StarSeries Fall 2025
FISSURE Playground #2
BLAST Open Fall 2025
BLAST Open Fall Qual
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2025 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.