• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EST 11:37
CET 17:37
KST 01:37
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
Rongyi Cup S3 - Preview & Info3herO wins SC2 All-Star Invitational14SC2 All-Star Invitational: Tournament Preview5RSL Revival - 2025 Season Finals Preview8RSL Season 3 - Playoffs Preview0
Community News
Weekly Cups (Jan 12-18): herO, MaxPax, Solar win0BSL Season 2025 - Full Overview and Conclusion8Weekly Cups (Jan 5-11): Clem wins big offline, Trigger upsets4$21,000 Rongyi Cup Season 3 announced (Jan 22-Feb 7)25Weekly Cups (Dec 29-Jan 4): Protoss rolls, 2v2 returns7
StarCraft 2
General
herO wins SC2 All-Star Invitational PhD study /w SC2 - help with a survey! Oliveira Would Have Returned If EWC Continued StarCraft 2 not at the Esports World Cup 2026 [Short Story] The Last GSL
Tourneys
$21,000 Rongyi Cup Season 3 announced (Jan 22-Feb 7) OSC Season 13 World Championship $70 Prize Pool Ladder Legends Academy Weekly Open! SC2 All-Star Invitational: Jan 17-18 Sparkling Tuna Cup - Weekly Open Tournament
Strategy
Simple Questions Simple Answers
Custom Maps
[A] Starcraft Sound Mod
External Content
Mutation # 510 Safety Violation Mutation # 509 Doomsday Report Mutation # 508 Violent Night Mutation # 507 Well Trained
Brood War
General
Which foreign pros are considered the best? [ASL21] Potential Map Candidates Gypsy to Korea BGH Auto Balance -> http://bghmmr.eu/ Fantasy's Q&A video
Tourneys
[Megathread] Daily Proleagues Azhi's Colosseum - Season 2 Small VOD Thread 2.0 [BSL21] Non-Korean Championship - Starts Jan 10
Strategy
Current Meta Simple Questions, Simple Answers Soma's 9 hatch build from ASL Game 2 Game Theory for Starcraft
Other Games
General Games
Beyond All Reason Nintendo Switch Thread Battle Aces/David Kim RTS Megathread Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread Awesome Games Done Quick 2026!
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
Lost love spell caster in Spain +27 74 116 2667
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
Vanilla Mini Mafia Mafia Game Mode Feedback/Ideas
Community
General
Russo-Ukrainian War Thread US Politics Mega-thread Canadian Politics Mega-thread European Politico-economics QA Mega-thread NASA and the Private Sector
Fan Clubs
The herO Fan Club! The IdrA Fan Club
Media & Entertainment
Anime Discussion Thread [Manga] One Piece
Sports
2024 - 2026 Football Thread
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread
TL Community
The Automated Ban List
Blogs
How Esports Advertising Shap…
TrAiDoS
My 2025 Magic: The Gathering…
DARKING
Life Update and thoughts.
FuDDx
How do archons sleep?
8882
James Bond movies ranking - pa…
Topin
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 1420 users

The Hardest day of my Life

Blogs > {88}iNcontroL
Post a Reply
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Next All
iNcontroL *
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
USA29055 Posts
November 21 2008 19:10 GMT
#1
I awoke feeling solid. Nothing was out of order and everything was looking up. I had enjoyed a night of drinking with my buddies at a bar. Nothing exciting but fun enough.

I did have morningwood. But that is normal and fine. I didn't have any particularly erotic dream or any reason really to have this boner but what reason do we need? It was there and I was fine with that. An ample mark of fertility and virility. I was a king of some unimportant self-contained morning jungle. Sweet. Uninspired I decided it best to get back to sleep. It was 8am or so and I was at a buddies house.. no particular need to wake up. So with a stretch to get the stiffness out I closed my eyes and went back to sleep.. thinking all would be ok.

I again awoke a couple hours later and felt fine and well. Again I noticed that my dick was at full sail and scouring the winds for a connection flight. This didn't stroke me as odd.. 2 morningwoods can happen and probably have. I usually don't mark my memory with such things but surely it has happened. In any case it was time to wake up. The house was stirring and my buddies sisters were walking around and being loud.. a typical day in their house. For them maybe.

For me I was growing astonished at what was taking place betwixt my legs.

We had downloaded the latest Dexter episode the night before so we sat and began to watch it in his living room. I noticed that my sticky situation was not going to be sticky..it was going to be hard. At this point I was beginning to commit brain time to my boner. What the fuck is keeping him around for this long. Why the fuck hasn't he given up? I went to take a piss because often times I get morningwood and it simply goes away after a nice piss.

As I am sure many of you know pissing while fully hard is fucking difficult. And let me remove all doubt and clarify now: It wasn't a soft boner that was just kinda there.. this was a rager. Something reserved for situations when only a harpoon would deal the same kind of damage. I nearly break my dick getting it to aim down and take my piss. After a long and unenjoyable piss I exit the bathroom thinking "only a matter of time." My wood had other ideas apparently.

I sat and tried to take my mind off of it. As I watched Dexter I grew increasingly uncomfortable. We had gone 3 and nearly 4 hours of solid boner with no cause. I had taken the piss and I had given it it's time but it simply wouldn't get the fuck out of my way. This situation would be fine and well at home.. I'd blast it's load and say g'bye but here? My friend's house? What the fuck am I going to do. By now it was throbbing.. it hurt. I think the sustained blood in that area was angry and was letting me know. I kept readjusting myself on the couch. I thought about ugly people and things that would normally make a flagpole flaccid. None of them appeased the angry god in my pants.

Again I interrupted my Dexter episode thinking "maybe a shit is what you want? So I set to the task of shitting while having a giant boner. Again I pry my dick below the toilet seal (this time while sitting) which was painful enough but then while I am shitting my sealevel dick pisses between the toilet and the space where the lid closes. Great. I am making a mess. Not a terrible mess mind you. But one you'd still want to avoid. The forced shit over and the mess cleaned I begin to panic. It won't leave me alone.

I suffer through the end of the Dexter episode and briskly get up telling my friend I must take a shower. I get in the bathroom take off my clothes and set the water to hot. I get in and find myself talking to my cock. "Alright you son'f'bitch, time to go." I do what every man does every day. I jerk off. I jerk with vindictive fervor. The kind of stuff reserved for priests after a wedding. It took a long time because my dick was raw with sustained blood. I didn't enjoy it and I sure as hell know why. Afterwards I towel off and stand in the bathroom looking down at my still hard dick. What-the-fuck is wrong with you. I swear if penises could smile it'd have a fucking mustache covering it's shit eating grin. Why the mustache? Cause only annoying assholes grow those. And my dick was being an annoying asshole.

I stood in the bathroom naked. Looking down at my dick. Willing flaccidity. Finally I thought I began to see it deflate. And sure enough: Like the lineup SC2gg fielded, it went down. I remember my eye threatening an appropriate tear. I had finally gotten rid of my 4.5 hour boner without a cause. Nightmares of the cialis warning "for erections that last over 4 hours please consult a doctor immediately" flooded away in a white river of showered cum.

It was hard but I managed to shake the jerk free. Don't feel bad, he had it cumming.

****
Fontong
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
United States6454 Posts
November 21 2008 19:17 GMT
#2
LOL I thought this was going to be another complaining blog or something. omg So many great lines in this...
I thought about ugly people and things that would normally make a flagpole flaccid.

Wow hilarious read 5/5 for sure.
[SECRET FONT] "Dragoon bunker"
Heyoka
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
Katowice25012 Posts
November 21 2008 19:22 GMT
#3
I also shed a tear
@RealHeyoka | ESL / DreamHack StarCraft Lead
KreaGata
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States1702 Posts
November 21 2008 19:22 GMT
#4
I was expecting a compelling tale of perseverance and tenacity ultimately rewarded with victory. I was not let down.
the truest opportunists thrive in the maelstrom
Makhno
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
Sweden585 Posts
November 21 2008 19:27 GMT
#5
Sounds like a real battle took place, though I was expecting someone to reveal your condition to your friends the whole story through. I'm actually glad you got away with it, it would've been too painful to read about the reactions from your friends and those sisters, haha.

Anyways 5/5, gj man.
"If I think, everything is lost"
iNcontroL *
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
USA29055 Posts
November 21 2008 19:29 GMT
#6
I actually told him quite frankly "I jerked off in your shower. Here is why:.." I then told him of my battle. He laughed.
bioboyAT
Profile Joined July 2004
Austria1763 Posts
November 21 2008 19:30 GMT
#7
good job inc
Milchmann | DeadVessel: Milchmann pwns. I fail.
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32113 Posts
November 21 2008 19:31 GMT
#8
hahahhahh. Was there a walk of shame out of that bathroom?

You sure your friends didn't play a prank on you and spike a drink with a few viagra tabs?
PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
o3.power91
Profile Blog Joined November 2007
Bahrain5288 Posts
November 21 2008 19:31 GMT
#9
On November 22 2008 04:22 heyoka wrote:
I also shed a tear

ZeeTemplar
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
United States557 Posts
November 21 2008 19:32 GMT
#10
i am sorry you had endured such a trial D:

glad you flogged that monstrosity into submission
Jangbi storms!!!
Makhno
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
Sweden585 Posts
November 21 2008 19:33 GMT
#11
On November 22 2008 04:29 {88}iNcontroL wrote:
I actually told him quite frankly "I jerked off in your shower. Here is why:.." I then told him of my battle. He laughed.


Sounds like a good friend, some of my pals would never have passed on something like that, it would've been lame jokes for the next month or so until I flipped and killed them.
"If I think, everything is lost"
iNcontroL *
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
USA29055 Posts
November 21 2008 19:36 GMT
#12
On November 22 2008 04:31 Hawk wrote:
hahahhahh. Was there a walk of shame out of that bathroom?

You sure your friends didn't play a prank on you and spike a drink with a few viagra tabs?


Shame? Are you kidding me? I nearly gave everyone a hug. I was so fucking happy it was over.
iNCuBuS_
Profile Blog Joined August 2004
United States905 Posts
November 21 2008 19:40 GMT
#13
I was expecting a porno-esque ending involving one of his sisters (assuming they are of age and close in age to you).
Awesome read nonetheless!
iNcontroL *
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
USA29055 Posts
November 21 2008 19:43 GMT
#14
Sometimes you don't get what you expect. I wanted a simple case of morningwood and I got the termiboner. You wanted a porno session between me and my friend's two hot sisters.. common man.
clazziquai
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
6685 Posts
November 21 2008 19:48 GMT
#15
On November 22 2008 04:31 o3.power91 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 22 2008 04:22 heyoka wrote:
I also shed a tear


#1 Sea.Really Fan / #1 Nesh Fan / Terran Forever~
ulszz
Profile Blog Joined June 2007
Jamaica1787 Posts
November 21 2008 19:48 GMT
#16
hahahhahaha wtf hahha great

the last line was the best possible last line ever lol
everliving, everfaithful, eversure
gm.tOSS
Profile Joined September 2005
Germany898 Posts
November 21 2008 19:50 GMT
#17
haha nice read 4/5
HuK HuK HuK | ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | There is death in the hane.
RaGe
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
Belgium9949 Posts
November 21 2008 19:55 GMT
#18
Dunno if you know this, but morning wood is usually not created by erotic dreams, but is just your body testing your primary functions while you're a sleep. I think you average around 20 boners a night.

But what you described.. it must be something else.. something from outside of this world. This truly is the most raging boner I have ever heard of, and I don't doubt someone slipped you a pill of some shit, maybe even the night before.
Moderatorsometimes I get intimidated by the size of my right testicle
SirGlinG
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
Sweden933 Posts
November 21 2008 19:55 GMT
#19
Wow GJ! This gave me a hard on! oh snap...
Not my chair. Not my problem. That's what I say
Kennigit *
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
Canada19447 Posts
November 21 2008 20:01 GMT
#20
5/5 for blog title alone.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Next All
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
Wardi Open
14:00
#71
WardiTV5016
TKL 152
Rex128
Liquipedia
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
TKL 152
Rex 128
MindelVK 26
StarCraft: Brood War
Rain 3099
Calm 1773
Shuttle 464
ggaemo 325
BeSt 315
Hyuk 310
Mini 263
Light 247
firebathero 211
Soulkey 151
[ Show more ]
Snow 124
actioN 121
Barracks 94
Mind 86
Rush 86
Zeus 62
yabsab 39
Free 38
Shinee 35
Yoon 29
Rock 24
Terrorterran 19
soO 17
ajuk12(nOOB) 17
Dota 2
Gorgc6897
singsing2761
qojqva2546
Dendi753
420jenkins664
syndereN376
Counter-Strike
kennyS3581
byalli1751
fl0m1519
ptr_tv41
Super Smash Bros
Mew2King55
Other Games
hiko974
Grubby599
ceh9338
Hui .287
crisheroes276
Harstem181
QueenE99
Chillindude15
Organizations
StarCraft 2
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
sctven
[ Show 14 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• poizon28 18
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• Migwel
• sooper7s
StarCraft: Brood War
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
Dota 2
• WagamamaTV446
League of Legends
• Jankos2536
• TFBlade1687
Upcoming Events
Monday Night Weeklies
23m
OSC
7h 23m
Replay Cast
16h 23m
RongYI Cup
18h 23m
Clem vs TriGGeR
Maru vs Creator
WardiTV Invitational
21h 23m
Replay Cast
1d 16h
RongYI Cup
1d 18h
herO vs Solar
WardiTV Invitational
1d 21h
The PondCast
2 days
HomeStory Cup
3 days
[ Show More ]
Korean StarCraft League
4 days
HomeStory Cup
4 days
Replay Cast
5 days
HomeStory Cup
5 days
Replay Cast
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

BSL 21 Non-Korean Championship
OSC Championship Season 13
Underdog Cup #3

Ongoing

CSL 2025 WINTER (S19)
KCM Race Survival 2026 Season 1
Acropolis #4 - TS4
Rongyi Cup S3
BLAST Bounty Winter 2026
BLAST Bounty Winter Qual
eXTREMESLAND 2025
SL Budapest Major 2025
ESL Impact League Season 8
BLAST Rivals Fall 2025

Upcoming

Escore Tournament S1: W6
Escore Tournament S1: W7
Acropolis #4
IPSL Spring 2026
uThermal 2v2 2026 Main Event
Bellum Gens Elite Stara Zagora 2026
HSC XXVIII
Nations Cup 2026
PGL Bucharest 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 1
BLAST Open Spring 2026
ESL Pro League Season 23
ESL Pro League Season 23
PGL Cluj-Napoca 2026
IEM Kraków 2026
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2026 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.