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This is going to be a short story about how I learned to stop being a b****, let go of my hate for other players, and met the guy who caused it all.
Back Story
I've been playing League of Legends since the first days of Closed Beta. I've made many friends in this time. It's been over 4 years, so most of them have come & gone, but some of them are still around. The problem is most of those guys that have been around that long & are still playing are now either Challenger/Diamond 1 super pros, work at Riot so it's awkward talking to them. The amount of people who write you off as a pro hoe for just knowing these people is astounding, but I won't be going into that in this blog.
1 Month Ago
So about a month ago I was playing solo queue & ran into a guy. He was really nice, played well, & was responsive so I added him after the game. We played on & off for a while in normals. At the time I was a complete b**** to most people no matter their rank. If they were low ranked I treated them bad for being low ranked and if they were higher ranked I told them I won't do ranked with them because I didn't want to be carried. I was in a huge downward spiral of losing most of my friends, isolating myself, and coming off like a total turd-sandwich in the process.
We'll call him Andrew. So me & Andrew(The guy I met) were playing normals together on a daily basis. We had really good synergy in-game & on voice comms. I could tell things were picking up between us, so I gave him my Skype and we start talking on Skype throughout the day.
Before I knew it, we were talking on Skype together almost all day every day. At work or school we'd be talking to each other. I really liked the way things were going and I've never been in an e-relationship before, so it was new & exciting. I think what attracted me to him the most was how he talked to me. Nearly every guy I've ever met would overly compliment my gameplay or wouldn't comment on it at all. Andrew isn't like that. He'd make fun of my bad plays in a joking way & I'd do the same back to him. It was great because he wasn't necessarily straight-up better than me, but he was 1 division higher than me, so playing with him was really fun since one game I'd be carrying and the next it'd be him. I play Jungle & ADC, so I've always broke the stereotype of the tee hee gurl gamur who plays nothing but support & the occasional mid who gets jungle babysat. Things were going great & we NEVER argued, which was surprising for me, because like I said, I've always been a bit of a b**** up until now.
Fast Forward To Now
We've been talking pretty much every single day since we've met, and play almost every day. Text each other & Skype whenever we can & we always play together, EVEN RANKED. This was something that was pretty big for me because it's hard to explain how it feels duo queueing with a guy as a girl. You're opening yourself up to the opportunity for them to go around & say they carried you or boosted you or any other horrible thing they decide on doing. For the first time in ever I trust someone enough to open up to them like that. Hell, I guess you could consider it e-sex. You're really opening yourself up & making yourself vulnerable to a guy like that when you take competitive play serious.
I also really think having someone to joke about how horrible I am/he is together with has really gave me a safe & healthy outlet to troll or goof around without coming off like a gigantic douche to everyone. I've also noticed people aren't perceiving me as overly threatening, aggressive, or whatever else you want to call it so I guess it's a good thing.
I will admit, I did have a small episode about a week ago. A girl asked my boyfriend to boost her. He's Diamond 1, so it's not a rare occurrence, but this time it was a girl asking him & it really set me off. She tried to play the "But we're such close friends" card, and I wasn't about to let that fly. Told her if she doesn't go jump down a well & stay far away I'll get her reset. Anyway, Andrew told me that they aren't really close friends at all and that they've only played together a few times before I said anything to her, so I don't feel too crazy for doing it. It was an obvious case of a girl just trying to get boosted.
The Future?
I'm not sure where I'm going from here. Obviously it's a good thing no matter how you look at it that I'm a more positive & happy person in general now, so what? I've never been in a situation like this before, so I'm not sure at all where things will go from here. It's completely unexplored territory to me and I'm excited to see where things will go, but I don't wanna screw things up. I guess I'll just keep acting the way I have been & hope things turn out well but I really don't wanna lose this. I'm more happy with the fact that with the introduction of him in my life I've became just a better person in general. Maybe I'll do an update in a month or two & see where we go from here, but as of right now things are going great and I plan on doing whatever it takes to keep it that way.
(Thanks to TL staff for fixing the spelling in my title.)
Also thanks to everyone for giving me feedback. I'll try to not be so OAG in the future, but in my defense he told me they weren't really friends in the first place. She was just wanting free boosting by flirting with him, and he thought it'd be funny for me to approach her because he knows I can run tread marks on her face in-game)
 
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Queuing for ranked LoL is akin to intercourse? Perhaps I am playing the wrong games.
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Bisutopia19302 Posts
"(S)He who cares the least wins."
It's great that things are turning positive for you but this is the point where you are walking on thin ice. Being needy or possessive especially in an eRelationship can make things go south very quickly. The best way to know if you have a man you can trust, is by trusting them and if they screw up it wasn't meant to be. No matter how hard you try, you can't prevent something you disagree with from happening by accusing him of a situation he hasn't even partaken in yet. And if he does choose to boost her rank and it truly bothers you afterward then let him know once and never bring it up again.
Things will always bother you. But if it's becomes something that constantly hurts your feelings after you mention it once then he's not meant for you. But a guy will respect his girl a 100 times more if she acts like those little things don't bother her. We are all jealous people, but the ones in relationships that are healthy and last are the ones who aren't gaurding the relationship 24/7 to make sure nothing goes wrong. So getting up in that girls face may sound funny but really can be unattractive in the guys eyes. You sound really sweet, so relax and just go with the flow. Everything will work out for your happiness.
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On October 12 2013 04:42 farvacola wrote:
Queuing for ranked LoL is akin to intercourse? Perhaps I am playing the wrong games.
I've always played games hyper-competitively so to me, putting myself in a position where a guy can say he is the entire reason I got to where I am puts me in a really vulnerable state. This definitely won't be the case for most people, and definitely not most girls since most just play "for fun". I play to win & improve, and that's about it. Seeing myself improve is fun to me. That's where I gain the most entertainment in eSports.
On October 12 2013 04:46 BisuDagger wrote:"(S)He who cares the least wins." It's great that things are turning positive for you but this is the point where you are walking on thin ice. Being needy or possessive especially in an eRelationship can make things go south very quickly. The best way to know if you have a man you can trust, is by trusting them and if they screw up it wasn't meant to be. .
Thanks for the advice. I actually did this in the past with locodoco. He got mad because I refused to "Skype" with him, so he got on stream & pretty much ruined my reputation. I guess I've been scared to trust anyone ever since. Having someone embarrass you in front of 3k+ people because you stopped talking kinda leaves a sour taste in your mouth.
On October 12 2013 04:46 BisuDagger wrote:No matter how hard you try, you can't prevent something you disagree with from happening by accusing him of a situation he hasn't even partaken in yet. And if he does choose to boost her rank and it truly bothers you afterward then let him know once and never bring it up again.
He actually was the one who told me. We had a good laugh about it and agreed she should be put in her place for even asking for it.
On October 12 2013 04:46 BisuDagger wrote:So getting up in that girls face may sound funny but really can be unattractive in the guys eyes. You sound really sweet, so relax and just go with the flow. Everything will work out for your happiness
Thanks for all this advice Bisu. I really do appreciate it. To give some context, he told me she asked him to boost her. I told her that I thought that's really pathetic since she knows we're seeing each other(kinda) & that I wanted to say something to her, but wouldn't to avoid causing anything. He said he thought it was cute that I was so protective of him, so I said something. I know you're right though. I'm a noob when it comes to these type of things & probably shouldn't have, but I couldn't resist. I'M WEAK. D: Teach me the ways
I think your quote couldn't be more dead on though. I've noticed since I care less about the game I've improved immensely in attitude & overall performance.
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On October 12 2013 04:34 Rainbow Cuddles wrote:
A girl asked my boyfriend to boost her. He's Diamond 1, so it's not a rare occurrence, but this time it was a girl asking him & it really set me off. She tried to play the "But we're such close friends" card, and I wasn't about to let that fly. Told her if she doesn't go jump down a well & stay far away I'll get her reset.
Can't say I run into this exact circumstance all that often, but just offhand this sounded a bit extreme. Like, if I was "Andrew" I might be a little weirded out that you went so far as to threaten someone who was a close friend of his (but of course maybe she was lying about that, who can tell). Maybe if she keeps asking you could join the boosting party with them as well so she doesn't have the chance to get all that close with him.
Also the first time I read that bit about queuing ranked with someone being so significant I scoffed a little, but upon reflection I think actually it's accurate. After all, a guy queuing ranked with another guy is no big deal but like you said if you're proud of your identity as a serious gamer as opposed to a kind of "gamer girl" who just leeches off guys, well, then the dynamics of who to queue ranked with and your relationship with that person are actually quite important.
Anyway, a big congratulations, it's quite rare in this world to find someone who makes you feel like a better person just by being with them. My advice? Don't stress about about what you're "supposed" to do. If he likes you as you are, and he likes the relationship for what it is, he's perfect. If he doesn't, you're not meant to be together.
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This is...all online, right?
And it's...happening over League of Legends, you say?
And you have...never met him face to face?
BisuDagger makes a great Dr. Phil. The virtual, gaming community sort of one.
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You definitely shouldn't have told that girl to jump down a well, but overall, it's not a big deal.
Andrew told you that some girl was asking him to boost her, most likely because he was fishing for some hint of protectiveness or jealousy. When your partner shows some hints of being a little protective of you without directly showing it, it's very attractive. But it's very easy to cross the line where you are becoming restrictive of him, and that's really bad. Overall, it's good to be trusting of him, even if you push your comfort zone a bit. A good relationship is built upon some uncertainty.
By the sound of it, it looks like you two are getting along great. It's wonderful to find someone that you can really connect with. Is this strictly an e-relationship, or do you plan on meeting up at some point?
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On October 12 2013 05:10 Chairman Ray wrote:
You definitely shouldn't have told that girl to jump down a well, but overall, it's not a big deal.
Andrew told you that some girl was asking him to boost her, most likely because he was fishing for some hint of protectiveness or jealousy. When your partner shows some hints of being a little protective of you without directly showing it, it's very attractive. But it's very easy to cross the line where you are becoming restrictive of him, and that's really bad. Overall, it's good to be trusting of him, even if you push your comfort zone a bit. A good relationship is built upon some uncertainty.
By the sound of it, it looks like you two are getting along great. It's wonderful to find someone that you can really connect with. Is this strictly an e-relationship, or do you plan on meeting up at some point?
tell dat bitch to BACK OFF
every girl got a friend who is like "ya ill go shopping with her but I won't let her duo q 1 game with my bf"
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On October 12 2013 04:34 Rainbow Cuddles wrote:
b****
What does this mean!? I DON'T UNDERSTAND
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Straight outta Johto18973 Posts
Good to hear you're enjoying League. Although comparing duo-queueing with sex is uh, a bit over the top. Also telling your friend to jump down a well also seems a bit extreme.
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On October 12 2013 05:00 jubil wrote:
Can't say I run into this exact circumstance all that often, but just offhand this sounded a bit extreme. Like, if I was "Andrew" I might be a little weirded out that you went so far as to threaten someone who was a close friend of his (but of course maybe she was lying about that, who can tell).
I guess I should have clarified that he told me that he laughed really hard when she said that. They've talked like 2 times and played 1 game together. Sorry I'm a bad story teller. ;_;
On October 12 2013 05:00 jubil wrote:
Anyway, a big congratulations, it's quite rare in this world to find someone who makes you feel like a better person just by being with them. My advice? Don't stress about about what you're "supposed" to do. If he likes you as you are, and he likes the relationship for what it is, he's perfect. If he doesn't, you're not meant to be together.
Thanks for the advice! I've been trying to just go with the flow as much as possible
On October 12 2013 05:10 Chairman Ray wrote:
When your partner shows some hints of being a little protective of you without directly showing it, it's very attractive. But it's very easy to cross the line where you are becoming restrictive of him, and that's really bad. Overall, it's good to be trusting of him, even if you push your comfort zone a bit. A good relationship is built upon some uncertainty.
I'll take that into consideration & not be so.. uh... crazy I guess. I'm glad I wrote this blog thinking on it now.
On October 12 2013 05:10 Chairman Ray wrote:
By the sound of it, it looks like you two are getting along great. It's wonderful to find someone that you can really connect with. Is this strictly an e-relationship, or do you plan on meeting up at some point?
I'm not sure yet. We probably won't meet IRL since he lives pretty far away & there's an age gap  I really wish we could though, I'm just not sure how well it'd work. I really enjoy things how they are right now though.
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LoL and girlboy blog. Dream really do come true!
On October 12 2013 05:21 ninazerg wrote:What does this mean!? I DON'T UNDERSTAND
N*nazerg + Show Spoiler + *s a *o*al b**ch
Would you like to buy a vowel?
As far as e-relationships go, I like playing LoL with girls but it's nowhere as good as like going on a date or actually being near them. You should see him soon if you want the relationship to grow. Also doesn't seem like he knows he's in a relationship. Does he?
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so...you guys are together....in a e-relationship?
Or he is just a guy friend that made you a better person?
Also so how does the touchy stuff and kissing work through skype? Is there a /kiss command or something?
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Given that you will never meet irl and there's an age gap, you are definitely putting a very unhealthy amount of emotional investment into this. There's no such thing as an e-relationship where you exclusively play LoL with each other and are not allowed to duo queue with other people. There's only one way it could end, and that is when one of you finds a real relationship and the other one won't be able to accept it. You say you enjoy things how they are right now, but I think that might be because this is the closest you've ever been to a tangible relationship. I think you should start considering him as a close friend, but the exclusivity bit is pushing it a bit too far.
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On October 12 2013 06:18 Smurfett3 wrote:
so...you guys are together....in a e-relationship?
Or he is just a guy friend that made you a better person?
I guess we're kinda in an e-relationship or something. It's funny because I've always thought they were kinda silly, but now that I'm in this position I can see why it's such a not so horrible choice. I know he sees me as more than a friend & I do as well.
On October 12 2013 06:20 Chairman Ray wrote:
Given that you will never meet irl and there's an age gap, you are definitely putting a very unhealthy amount of emotional investment into this. There's no such thing as an e-relationship where you exclusively play LoL with each other and are not allowed to duo queue with other people. There's only one way it could end, and that is when one of you finds a real relationship and the other one won't be able to accept it. You say you enjoy things how they are right now, but I think that might be because this is the closest you've ever been to a tangible relationship. I think you should start considering him as a close friend, but the exclusivity bit is pushing it a bit too far.
I definitely see where you're coming from. I don't think I'm too invested in this honestly. If he meets someone IRL, that's fine. I obviously realize that's a very likely ending to everything, and I'm OK with that. As always, Real Life > e-Life. Whichever option he decides to take things, I'm fine with.I'm fully aware of how far things can & can't go given how it's online and respect that boundary. Not gonna lie though if I got ditched for another girl in an e-relationship, I'd unleash the rage of a thousand Nestea's.
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@Chairman, kind of harsh brotha, they might work out, slim chances, but it seems possible. #believe # ScumbagRay #MoarBelieve
@Rainbow Cuddles, One Question you should ask yourself, and ask Andrew, is: "Is this relationship going to be/already is serious?" And if so, Do both of you believe you 2 will last? And even though dreaming this and wondering this too far is bad, think about maybe meeting one day =)
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I'm just going to make a wild stab in the dark, but.... I don't think you have a firm understanding of what intercourse is nor how LoL could possibly compare to it.
As intercourse is a dialogue between two+ people, so is sexual intercourse a dialogue between two+ people's states / behaviours. Duo-queuing doesn't exactly imitate that. Nor does it presuppose intellectual, physical or sexual maturity. Thus, while I applaud you for having an open mind about having fun while meeting this... "Andrew" on the internet, I'm getting the jealous stalker vibe a little too heavily from your posts.
Not gonna lie though, if I got ditched for some girl online, I'd unleash the rage of a thousand Nestea's.
Most importantly, I would say, you should make certain that you understand the position you are in and what you hope to gain from it. You, too, could be that girl online.
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On October 12 2013 06:28 ToasterBoy wrote:
@Rainbow Cuddles, One Question you should ask yourself, and ask Andrew, is: "Is this relationship going to be/already is serious?" And if so, Do both of you believe you 2 will last? And even though dreaming this and wondering this too far is bad, think about maybe meeting one day =)
Taking into consideration it's online & how long we've been talking, I'd say yeah it's really serious. We never ever argue, get along great, and enjoy playing with each other. I push myself to keep up with his play so there is no conflict in that sense, our personalities get along great, and overall things seem great(For now). I know eventually we'll have something to deal with, but as things stand now I don't see us really breaking us. Worst case scenario we'd stay in-game friends because our playstyles & in-game personalities are really compatible. lol
On October 12 2013 06:38 Serpest wrote:
I'm just going to make a wild stab in the dark, but.... I don't think you have a firm understanding of what intercourse is nor how LoL could possibly compare to it.
I've had sex more times than I can count with at least 40+ people(about a 50/50 split guys/girls). Yeah, a bit whorey, but still. You're making a lot of assumptions in your post. You're also a guy, so sex in general is a way different experience for you. You can read up on the mental differences here.
tl;dr - It's about totally surrendering yourself to someone for women. Playing ranked with a guy is like that for me, because I'm putting a lot of trust in a guy to do that. He could turn around & start bragging about how he carries me in solo queue or whatever. It can very easily ruin a girls reputation in an esports community.
On October 12 2013 06:38 Serpest wrote:Most importantly, I would say, you should make certain that you understand the position you are in and what you hope to gain from it. You, too, could be that girl online.
That's a good point, but I'm 100% positive I'd never steal someones SO. If I found out he ditched someone for me, I'd put him on ignore immediately.
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i don't see how a relationship can be serious if u get insecure over ur boyfriend playing a video game with another person
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On October 12 2013 07:02 vlaric wrote:
i don't see how a relationship can be serious if u get insecure over ur boyfriend playing a video game with another person
My blog was nothing about him playing with another person? A girl tried using him by faking being so close to him to get boosted. She was putting him in a situation where he could get banned/reset for her personal gain. No bueno.
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EPT![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/I4D5yQm.jpg)
