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this was written a few days ago
I will say it was one of the saddest things to see in my entire life.
She was lying on the hospital bed, smaller then I’ve ever seen her before. A few nights ago she fell down and broke her hip, and we recently found out it was due to a stroke. The doctors haven’t been able to tell whether it was a major or minor stroke, but she can’t see. She’s been losing her memory for years now, and because of the stroke, she couldn’t see.
She was just lying there on the her bed, and my great grandfather was sitting in his wheelchair just holding her hand. I went to say hi to her, and she looked in the complete wrong direction, and said “Who’s there?!” It was really sad.
Then, every so often she’d say, “Carly (my great grandfather) I want to sit up.” He had to sit there and say “I know you do, but you can’t.” or “I want to help you, but I can’t.” or “I know you do, but the doctor won’t let you.” My great grandfather is a great man. He has never been one to sit there and do nothing. Now, between his age and her condition, he had to sit there, and tell the woman that he’s been married to for over 60 years (I think) that he can’t do anything to help her.
This was really hard on my dad, and my grandmother as well. She has been the most amazing thing for her mother. My dad was an accident baby, while his mother was 16. My great grandmother was a second mother, and they both had to lie there, and basically watch her die, and not be able to do anything about it. On the way to the hospital, my dad said that he wasn’t stressed about her. He said that she had a wonderful life, and she was going to be visited by all her family. On the way out, his girlfriend went to rub his back and he told her to stop, because he was about to cry.
It was seriously the saddest thing I’ve ever seen, and whatever happens, happens, I guess. Don’t waste your life, folks. It’s precious.
Today:
I found out from my father today that she has two weeks tops left to live. For her sake, I really hope it doesn't take that long. She's been miserable and suffering for years. I think most of my family feels the same way but it doesn't make this any less harder on anyone. Especially since my great grandfather will not last long without her. They've been married since before dust (60 or 70 yearsish.) They're both around 92.
So. it is what it is.
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Sorry for your situation. Focusing on the positives is certainly one of the best ways I've found to cope with death.
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I've been in this situation too many times lately with family members much younger.
It's a really tough thing, try and remember her the way she was and not how she is now.
It's her time to go.
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That's what happens to us all eventually. 92 is actually how old my great grandmother was when she died about 10 years ago. Sounds like she's had the chance to live a long and good life with a good partner, not much more you can ask for in this world
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FREEAGLELAND26780 Posts
My condolences...
Rejoice in her life, fear not her death. Just try to spend what time you can with her, and know that she's lived a long, happy life.
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aw cmon. the ppl are together for like 70 years. this is fuckin miracle. just the fact they they are both alive and together. realize this.
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Polemos,
I feel for the situation you are in, brother. Stay strong for your family, your great-grandfather, and your great-grandmother. They seem like absolutely special people, as well as the rest of you're family. Don't hesitate to send me a PM to vent if you need.
Stay strong.
~Jitsu
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Your great grandmother has touched many people's lives.
Her actions have changed the lives, sometimes in small ways, of those she has interacted with.
Those lives are different now because of her, and like stones thrown into a pond, endless ripples of change are spreading.
The world is different now, because she existed.
In a way, her legacy is timeless.
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i lost my grandpa recently also.... it was incredibly sad. i still cant believe hes actually gone....its crazy. i miss him alot now that he's gone.... second piece of advice that should go in op: cherish the time u spend with your grandparents and all loved ones, because once theyre gone, theyre gone. i wish i wouldve spend more time with my grandpa. good luck.
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I'm not terribly depressed or anything. I know she had a wonderful life, but it's just sad. I know it's her time, and I'm really hoping it's sooner than two weeks. She doesn't deserve to be miserable.
I would spend more time with her but I left Florida on Saturday to go back home to Maine. I'm glad I got to see her before I left, though. I hope my family down there will be okay, though. My dad was taking it pretty hard. Nothin to do but to stay strong for them if nothing else (:
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Hehe - I have 6 or 7 I think and I know most of them (:
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Damn :/
I hope your greatgrand father coped with the news reasonably :S.
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Aye, I know that feeling. I'm a nurse so it's an everyday thing for me
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I know how you feel. When my paternal grandmother passed away (the others passed away while I was still a toddler), I felt sad, because my dad was devastated and cried in the rain for hours but I felt ashamed that I didn't feel anything more than shedding a few tears. I just wasn't as emotionally connected since she lived on the other side of the world. But for my dad, he cried because she was a widowed mother who raised him and 5 other siblings alone and he couldn't even be by her side during her final moments.
It took the passing of my oldest uncle to finally realize what kind of pain and sadness you're feeling at the moment. I guess that's one of the drawbacks that growing up has. You realize that life is temporary. It depressed me for the longest time ever, but I came out of it cherishing every relationship I have more than before.
All in all, my condolences. Cherish the final moments, and fill her remaining days with happiness that she's blessed to be surrounded by loved ones. She'll be in a better place.
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I'll live my life to the fullest. thanks!
han gin there!!
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