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Chasing my dream - Page 8

Blogs > BrTarolg
Post a Reply
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PeaNuT_T
Profile Joined October 2010
Sweden326 Posts
November 09 2011 19:46 GMT
#141
Your name is scarily close to "PRBarlog" the ssf4/mvc player.
iNcontrol, IdrA,Lz, Strifecro, Axslav, Machine, Demuslim! EG Fighting!!!~~
FinestHour
Profile Joined August 2010
United States18466 Posts
November 09 2011 20:31 GMT
#142
Good luck! What a great post thank you for sharing so much with us
thug life.                                                       MVP/ex-
bigbigmac
Profile Joined May 2011
Malaysia10 Posts
November 09 2011 21:01 GMT
#143
I didnt wanna read at first (tl;dr)

But then hey, I said why not give it a chance. And I never regretted reading this. Very very good read and inspiring at the same time. I feel that what you wrote is very real, not something that you can make it up over the night nor the week.

Hope you can keep us posted on how things are in, say, 5 years? Cheers to you and GL HF.
"CHILL GET OUT" - NaNiwa, TSL3
EricCartman
Profile Joined May 2011
Canada306 Posts
November 09 2011 21:05 GMT
#144
who is your brother?
synapse
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
China13814 Posts
November 09 2011 21:50 GMT
#145
Didn't you make the TL maplestory guild? <3
:)
BrTarolg
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
United Kingdom3574 Posts
November 10 2011 00:01 GMT
#146
Hi guys,

So this will be my last "wall of text" post in here, but i'm going to use this post to answer comments and questions people have made.
Firstly, i want to thank the absolutely incredible response i've had. I really never imagined anything like this - I wrote this mostly for myself, but I never imagined that the ideas would strike such a chord with so many people.
So first i will make a reply saying thanks for all the encouragement, TL is an amazing place full of amazing people. In a lot of ways this is going to be the last time i will be very active on TL, because i suspect work is going to absolutely consume me (and i'll be loving every moment of it). Not that i was that active on TL except spamming the ADT thread.

I won't be commenting on anything about "traders being evil" other than a few specific things, since i've covered most of that already.

On November 08 2011 11:54 nanaoei wrote:
I used to trade options and did alright at it (i was short lehman, yay) but the more i looked into it the more it looked like a circus held up by the statistical outliers that actually were successful in the markets. Still, there are people that are very successful doing this and i do still hold to the belief that if general macro-orientated (teehee) principles are held in high regard one can do reasonably well.

I hope that did not come across as negative, i wish the best of luck to to OP!

Theres all sorts of different prop trading, and all sorts of things work. There are some guys who sit with massive clips, and all they do is wait for a big piece of news all day and fire
There are come guys who scalp markets like the bund all day and become absolutely amazing at understanding all the flows, nuances, how the algos interact and all these other things
There is something called the "flipper" - in the old days there was a guy who would put in a HUGE stack of orders, to scare people and push the market price down, and then he would remove them straight away and reverse the trade the other way. Nowadays when this happens everyone knows its fake and it happens about 5 times a day, and there are people who make 2 ticks every time this happens, by buying into the flipper. 10 ticks a day can be a lot of money!

On November 08 2011 13:39 TBone- wrote:
Man I love this quote "All i wanted to do was find the one thing i could really be good at, and get good at it and make it my passion." Can I get your name or how you wish to be called so I can credit you when I melt some faces with this knowledge?

Just PM me

On November 08 2011 15:20 wbirdy wrote:
Great read OP, good luck. Your motivation to succeed reminds me of this video

Not the same, but its pretty damn inspiring.

Hehe i've seen this before. I did think of it, but only after i wrote the blog

On November 08 2011 15:25 l10f wrote:
I know you can do it man. I've respected you since day 1 of meeting you on TL. Mostly because of your accent, but still. Good luck dude!

Haha man, sorry for sucking you bros into maplestory Thanks though, seems a lot of people love the accent

On November 08 2011 15:46 frodoguy wrote:
i thought that bulge brackets look for really socially developed people, which doesnt seem to be you from reading the op. How exactly did you get the job there?

It depends. Firstly and foremost, practise. I've done countless numbers of interviews. In fact i used to charge people 100 dollars an hour to write their CV's and give them interview help/practise. To this day I still get nervous in some interviews and i still screw up sometimes.
Also, BB's are kings are recognising talent. I've seen all sorts of wierd people in there - if you have a talent and you can fit in a role, theres a job for you. You just have to convince the interviewer that you have the talent beyond just being outgoing smart teamworking etc.
For example, in a lot of my interviews, the first thing i start talking about is poker, my own trading. In particular, i talk about how much i've lost, how i got badly burned, and how i made lots of bad mistakes like averaging a lot. And then i tell them how i've been through all of that, and still managed to turn it around and make money in the long run

On November 08 2011 18:00 skipgamer wrote:
This hurts to read, really. That paragraph... I've been there, I've done that... I ended up in a deep dark depressed hole after about 5 years of working my absolute ass off (indie games) and getting nowhere, I lost friends, I alienated family, I ended up in a shit load (excuse my french) of debt.

And then in a strange twist of fate, everything I ever worked on was lost in a bushfire. It was the exact opposite of my dreams (which were just to make enough money off indie games to be able to continue making indie games )

You are right though, the key to success is working hard, I agree, but from what I've learnt, it is not the end all be all, and IT DOES HURT when shit goes pear-shaped after years of working hard. I can't imagine anything in life hurts (apart from loss of family) as much as admitting defeat when you have gone all in on life on something that doesn't work out.

I'm not saying you wont be successful, in fact from the things you have done, the people you know, your knowledge of your industry, I'm almost certain you will be. But be careful with the "all I need to do is work hard to be successful" mantra.

Always prepare for failure, but never expect it.
Good luck.


Ahh thats tough man. One of the big skills required in trading is coming back from when you're down. Not only do you have to come back from a losing position, but you have to do better, and somehow make the future succeed. A lot of people struggle at this (and in poker especially) and give up easily. Somehow, in a game which is full of luck, you have to pull through and get past luck to get a better outcome in the end.
Absolutely I have to be prepared for the worst, and you're totally right. Realism and acceptance of realism is extremely important in anything to do with markets. It could go terribly!
In the long run, everybody gets the same cards, but some people end up with more than others.
I wish you the best of luck also, I hope it ends up well for you. Defeat can feel crushing, but you can rise up again to succeed!

On November 08 2011 19:44 phanto wrote:
the best way to work hard as a goal is to not tell anybody about it. telling people about your goals and your intentions will most likely squish them as you'll already feel a sort of accomplishment.. or something like that. I read something about that.

Perhaps so. I'd be lying if this whole thread didn't stroke my ego a little bit haha.

Throughout the years when i was younger i've always been vying for attention, because i felt like i had learned all these things yet nobody cared/noticed. I felt like my social awkwardness always got in the way, or that my personality just wasn't one that was likable.
Over the years i became more and more accepting of this, and began to realize and find things which I wanted to be successful in, on my own. Accepting one's insecurities is i feel, most of the battle in conquering it.

Slowly in my life, i started doing things more and more because i wanted to do it, and not because i wanted other people to like me for doing it. Still, some people motivation helps - its never 100% one way or the other. Probably the thing i most enjoyed just doing for myself was playing guitar, some old single player games (chrono trigger anyone?), reading some books. And trading.
Funny to say it, but trading i got into of my own accord. Yeah, its a cool and "sexy" way to make money, but it simply fits my personality so well, it's what i really want to do. I understand that most people just don't understand it, and kinda loathe it. But thats OK with me, cause i still wanna do it and love it.

On November 08 2011 20:20 blahz0r wrote:
Holy walls of text! Tell the story about the airline stock you were mentioning on IRC =\

Haha i love you man. I'm surprised more people didn't comment on the evil trader selling airlines on sept 11th but there you go lol

On November 08 2011 21:15 nibbles wrote:
Did I meet you at the Singapore TL meetup?
I'm glad you have a sure direction for your life

Yes you did! I was going to go to singapore this winter, but as you may have noticed, my plans have changed

On November 08 2011 22:01 Twistacles wrote:
How can you live with yourself?

I'm able to go to sleep at night because i sleep on a pile of money

On November 08 2011 22:10 MIsterToto wrote:
I'll just quote this bit, because it strucks me as the most biased, but before going into a a rant about your post, I'm gonna ask the OP: Have you ever read ANYTHING about non-neoclassical economic theory? Or any economic theory at all? Because you are talking some crazy shit, man.

lol

On November 08 2011 23:18 Deadeight wrote:
Even though I think you're a BM arsehole, I'm glad you've found something that will make you happy. Good luck.

wat? I'm bm cause of this thread, or did i cheese you on ladder/maplestory/something else?

On November 08 2011 23:36 Grovbolle wrote:
While reading the whole: "I'm going to be the scum whos gonna make my fortune from the next financial crisis and global recession." my internal music player in my head was playing, and the song was: "AMERICA, FUCK YEAH"

Great blog, hope you succeed. I love capitalism

hahaha that video is amazing lol. I'm British though, you guys still need to stop missing out half of the letters in the word doughnut

On November 08 2011 23:53 RQShatter wrote:
No offense to you but 90% of this feels fabricated.

I'll take your 10:1 odds and put 5k on it. Would you like an interest rate option with that?

On November 08 2011 23:55 Ingenol wrote:
Great post. Can you tell us more about how you will spend these 12 hours/day? I'm asking as someone who is just becoming interested in trading. How will you structure your time and learning? Thanks and good luck!

2-3 months of training first. Markets are open for about 11 hours (or active) - but you gotta spend 1/2 hour each end to get your head around what you've done during the day, and to prepare before hand.

On November 09 2011 00:49 zatic wrote:
You keep talking about the bleak economic prospect of the eurozone, and about a soon coming recession. Two questions about this: First of all a eurozone recession is pretty much what everyone expects within the next few months to a year - how is your knowledge helping you beat the market? And second, even if you have more insight - how is the general idea of coming recession (which seems very vague and not too time bound) helping you in day trading or short term transactions generally?

Well, for a start, not everyone expected certain things in the market. For a good amount of time, theres a heavy mispricing in the market. For example, its a 100% given now that Greece is gonna default. Last friday, me and a few of my friends started talking well - greece is gonna default - its a distraction, the next big one is italy, what happens if they cant payoff their debt anymore?
In a way, there is still a heavy mispricing in the market. Theres massive short interest in the markets, but markets havnt tanked. We are still sitting with EUstoxx around the 2300 level or so. Why is that?
My personal prediction is that the things that are priced in, that are obvious, will sort themselves out. Markets are gonna rally on it. But the fundamentals won't change, and we are still shaky. The EFSF isn't gonna work. A lot of people don't realize this - the only way to get out is if the ECB starts printing, and they de-facto said that they won't do this. Doesn't mean the rules wont change of course.
When the market is done rallying, something is gonna happen, something big, something we didn't expect. Something nobody could have predicted.
The bear market begins when the last bull has bought - when everyone is placated, everyone is thinking "ahh its all better now, we got through the crisis!" - then BAM, thats when its gonna tumble. Markets seem to be OK given that there is so much worry atm. When markets start placating, feeling safe, thats when i'll be worrying the most.

Secondly, Understanding things is part of the game. You HAVE to understand economics, fundamental ideas, and how the market thinks and feels in order to understand how different things will affect markets. If you understand how markets move, and why they move in a certain way - firstly you can understand what to do in certain times. You can understand that theres gonna be a selloff tomorrow, when nobody else knows. You can capture a long term market view and understand how it fits into a short term position. You can understand what everyone's woes and fears are.
Trading is an information war - the better your inductive reasoning and experience, the more clear and precise your information is going to be and the more edge you will have. Every last bit counts!
For example, i asked the question - if Greece defaults and exits the euro, whats going to happen to EURUSD? Is it going to rally? Is it going to tank?
And are you going to be there, on the screen, ready to make that decision, and take action when it happens? Or are you going to sit and stare?

On November 09 2011 03:03 OgerGolg wrote:
Nice Post, and I like your attitude to chase your dream and all the hard work talk (its always the same talk, because everybody has to legitimatize his or her behaviour before his conscience or other people). Its a friendly way to handle things and a hard one for sure. but in generel I hope you and your kind of branch will crash. you wont crash, because you are needed (and have good allies). but the profession you're in is a *****, and even with passion the ***** isnt getting any better. sorry.

lol. I just thought this post was particularly funny

On November 09 2011 05:26 AnachronisticAnarchy wrote:
I'm going to try something new here and write my reply as I read.
You have Aspergers and lead a tough social life. I can definitely relate to that, considering I too have Aspergers and have a tough social life. Too bad I'm also a perfectionist or something, because I can recall dozens of past social errors and get embarassed with the recollection.
You are a baller. Steve freaking Arneil, anyone?
Seems you have the same quasi-perfectionist issues I have, along with the commitment ones. Annoying as hell, aren't they? You KNOW you want to be good at this, you know you should enjoy this, but you don't and you quit.
You are a baller at life. Taking control like a boss. Absolute awesome read. You gonna make an edition #2?

Steve Arneil is a man who i will never forget. He's a real baller. I remember how he pushed us and pushed us. In a private school where kids were coddled around, treated with political correctness etc, he comes in and forces us into shape to be the best we can.
On the very first day of training, my stance was slightly incorrect and we were all standing rock still. He sweeped me off the floor and i fell flat on my face. Then he picked me up, put me in the right stance, and said, "now you are strong" - He kicked me hard with his shin into my thigh, and it was on the verge of tears. But he patted my face and said "good - you see? Your stance is strong now. You took the pain, but you are still standing strong!"

On November 09 2011 06:08 cursor wrote:
"You" caused the housing bubble/crisis. Very true. The average, low to middle income house buyer caused the crash. That is very astute. Because, I know when I bought my house, I marched right in there and told them what my APR was going to be, what my maximum loan was, what the loan period was going to be and what my down payment was. If a bank didn't accept, then in true capitalist fashion, I went to another one that would accept my terms.

In case you cant tell, I'm bullshitting. I don't know if the OP has ever bought a house, but the banks are the ones that make the loans and it's up to the buyer to accept them. I would usually dismiss this as trolling, but you can tell this guy is 100% serious. People take mortgages based on what the bank offers. The offers from almost all banks are 95% similar based on your credit and your history. The Banks were making bullshit, speculative loans, and a lot of the crisis, as you correctly pointed out- was designed to benefit the very few.

You should really thank your lucky stars that Socialist America came to the rescue with 700 billion dollars for this mockery of a financial system, and that the old-boy Federal Reserve has, under the table, cranked out another 14 trillion over the last 10 years to whichever too-big-to-fail bank was failing at the time. Not to mention, that most banks already loan out at a 9 to 1 ratio or worse, especially BofA... this shit does not work, and will eventually collapse.

Not to digress, but really, all people can do is say yes or no- the banks make the loans. 95% of those Adjustable and Refinance loans should not have been made, period.

So a bunch of people took out a bunch of loans they couldn't afford, and then defaulted on them. I hope you don't take out a loan you cant afford!
But the key here is understanding the difference between insolvency and illiquidity. But thats alright, go socialist america!

On November 09 2011 06:24 Ripps wrote:
Interesting. I'm puzzled by people who say this is "inspiring" though.

Are you sure you're asking yourself the right questions?

I never heard you say that this is something you actually like doing. Is this really your dream? Is this something that will make your life better, or more fufilling? What is implicit in your concept of "success"? What do you really gain out of this undertaking? Is there something else that you'd rather be doing?

I just want to make sure that you're not doing this because its something you're "supposed" to do based on your schooling. You seem very cynical about the whole thing. That's not a very good place to start from.

Theres a few posts like this with a similar sentiment. Yes, i absolutely want to do this. Yes, i will maintain a work life balance.
I really, really do want to do this, and its the first time in my life im really grabbing the nettle with my bare hands.

Once i asked my dad how he managed to work such long hours and so hard in his life, and be so happy. He talked about a lot of things, but he said one thing in particular which struck a chord
"When you have little free time, you treasure it all the more. Now with your free time you value it, and truly pursue the things you want to do. The fact i only get to spend so little time with you makes the time i do spend with you all the more special"

On November 09 2011 07:25 Jedclark wrote:
I dislike this. You say frequently you're not in it for the money, and then say a few times, "I'm going to earn my big bonus", and the worst part was, "I'm going to be the scum whos gonna make my fortune from the next financial crisis and global recession."

That's pretty... horrific. That you're having thoughts of gaining money off others misfortune. I don't particularly know why this is getting applauded.

I said i won't be earning my big bonus . In fact, in my line of work, theres no bailout. If you lose your money, you lose your personal wealth. It's the most risky form of trading, and requires the most discipline.
But i like trading cause its fun. Its no surprise that many traders who have made their millions keep on going and going and going. Markets are the culmination of all the information in the world. Its exciting stuff!
Obviously, i said that with a little exaggeration.
You can take the other side of the trade - in 3 years time when this is all over, markets have bottomed out, and the last bear has sold. Everyone is shitting their pants and it feels like the great depression. And this is when i'm gonna buy. 2/3 of the worlds money is in bonds. When this money moves into stocks, you're going to see the biggest and greatest bull market this century. People are going to become insanely rich, and i'll probably retire lol

On November 09 2011 08:30 Bane_ wrote:
What it is about this particular endeavour that makes you feel like you'll be able to sustain your interest/commitment beyond that tipping point where you usually bail out and seek something new?

I feel like i answered this already but to clarify-
This is me going all in. If i do this, theres no "out". I might fail, but really, failure isn't an option anymore. And this is exactly what i want to do, and what i've wanted to do for a long time. I've been taking the easy, safe, netted path for too long. This is my chance to dive into the jungle, where i really belong

On November 09 2011 09:55 fortheGG wrote:
It relates more to them getting bonuses(that the media point out whenever they can) when they get their gambles right and the taxpayer having to foot bills when they don't.

Prop traders never needed bailing out. In fact, when idiots (lol kweku) screw up, the bank takes a direct hit and nobody bails out (he wasn't a prop trader, but he fudged the system and tried to prop and failed)
When prop traders screw up, the company flat out loses money and you get fired

On November 09 2011 11:43 Gummy wrote:
5/5. When I read this, I heard you reading it in your beautiful British accent in my head. You are an inspiration, Vince!

You could even say that you're

*sunglasses*

a Vincepiration!

Hahahaha. I'll never forget our maplestory times. I don't believe how popular that thread became, it's crazy. I turned it into maplestory hardcore as a joke lol

On November 09 2011 12:39 .Aar wrote:
Great read.

Vincent, right? You always came across as a pretty thoughtful guy when I played Maple under you as my guild leader. I'm glad you've found some direction in life.

ps your accent is sexy

Its nice someone thought of me as THE GUILD LEADER. I'm pretty sure roffles just thought i was that guy leeching all the family exp so i could get the most double exp bonus :D
And everyone seems to love the accent haha. Tea and scones.. bro

On November 09 2011 22:10 Yenticha wrote:
just before you read my post: I do know about finance/trading, did my masters partly in this subject. I have many friends who work for banks, in quant positions etc.

I may be mistaken, but one big argument in favor of trading as "not a bad thing" is that there are people willing to buy and to sell. No one is being forced.

I don't see how this makes trading good. When some dictator gives money to mercenaries to kill civilians who are demonstrating, its an exchange "money vs service". And I think we can agree that neither the mercenaries or the dictator are "good" people.
I am *not* saying that trading is as bad. I am just saying that sometimes there are people willing to buy/sell for the wrong reasons. And there are also stupid people buying stupid things. This is why laws exist. So that the only rule in the world is not money (hopefully?).

Closer to the topic: when a friend of mine, being an engineer, works on some new missile, I dont tell him he's evil. I just wonder why he's not putting is skills into something more rewarding "ethically". It does feel good to do a job that is even slightly beneficial to society, and that does not starve or kill anyone. And traders are educated enough to be able to pick, if they wanted to, such a job.

Hey i also did partly a masters in the subject! I quit though, i didn't learn anything useful
When i was talking to the course director about my withdrawal he was like "Your CV is really important you know" - so what, you mean the course content doesn't actually help?

On November 10 2011 04:46 PeaNuT_T wrote:
Your name is scarily close to "PRBarlog" the ssf4/mvc player.

Oh haha thats not me. I've never really gone under any other nicks. I'd be really scared if people tried to dig up my entire life and judge me on it lol, but fortunately people arn't that stalkerish
Or maybe they are? I just have to hope that i've got enough integrity in life to not be too worried about it

On November 10 2011 06:05 EricCartman wrote:
who is your brother?

Glorat of course! http://glorat.net/
Hes now a tech guy in Morgan Stanley doing a lot of quant like work and specialises in calculating yield curves. Recently hes found a steady girlfriend (lucky him) and has started doing weights to try and get stronger than me (hahah good luck with that)

On November 10 2011 06:50 synapse wrote:
Didn't you make the TL maplestory guild? <3

Haha thats me. Am i still the guildleader on there? I wonder what happened to my account. I wonder why i don't have the password for the TL channel lol

---

Lastly, thanks guys. This will be my last wall of text post, for a very long time. I won't be very much active on TL anymore (even though i'm mostly a lurker anyway, and i only spam ADT) because i'll be focusing on work. Maybe in a few months, years or w/e time, i'll be able to post again to see how things have been going. I'll still be hanging around, and i might answer some more questions individually if they pop up

I didn't answer everything, in particular - thanks so much for your encouragement and support. TL really is an amazing place, i've made so many friends here, friends i trust so much, i'm willing to tell them the deepest, darkest secrets of my life, and expose my inner being. Here on TL i can really and truly be myself without having to hide behind any masks.

I'd like to remind you all that, this blog is just the story of one person in his stage of life. Each of you are special in your own way, and have your own stories to tell
When you post in the future, try to remember that behind each post, lies a real human being, someone with thoughts and feelings. Real people, with diverse personalities and backgrounds. Each with their own struggle in life, each with their own dreams, goals, successes and failures.

TL Hwaiting~! <3
StrinterN
Profile Joined April 2010
Denmark531 Posts
November 10 2011 00:09 GMT
#147
What a read!
Gl in life. :p
MORE GG, MORE SKILL! :D
Twitter: @Strintern Stream: http://www.twitch.tv/strintern
Yenticha
Profile Joined July 2010
257 Posts
November 10 2011 03:05 GMT
#148
ha, funny how people reacted mostly (only?) on the "did my masters" thing. Obviously its nothing like actually working in finance..bleh...

So basically, trading is bad, BUT, since many other jobs are also bad, its ok? I am *not* saying that an ethically questionable job is completely evil. I am just saying that traders are smart enough to have the *choice*.
The OP seems really smart. I actually really liked what you said at the end of your wall of text. It looks like you do understand the consequences of trading as it is done today, but see them through a very cynical eye... makes me sad, but whatever.

Good luck!
Symbioth
Profile Joined October 2011
Poland103 Posts
November 10 2011 03:30 GMT
#149
I recently got an offer at a prop firm, one of the better ones. I start work next week. I'll be working 12 hours a day. No holidays (except maybe christmas/new years and some public holidays when markets are closed)
I've dropped out of uni to do this. I got a degree, i don't need a masters anymore
I'm not going to be a trader in a big bank, trying to get my big bonus every year
Probably, i won't make any money in my first year. For the next 12 months, i'm likely to be breakeven or worse, like a failed, skilless uni graduate.
,

For the first time, i am going to do something i REALLY want to do. I never wanted to work in a big bank. I never wanted to make vast sums of money (even though i will). I never wanted to do a degree, do a masters. All i wanted to do was find the one thing i could really be good at, and get good at it and make it my passion. All i wanted to do is trade.


Your real passion, as you put it, is being good at something.

The absolute key to success is working hard. You don't need talent, you don't need gifts, contacts or luck. You need to work hard, and work your damn ass off.

I'm going to work so hard, and why? Because i'm chasing my dream.


The key to success is energy wisely invested in correct places, in correct ways, in correct times with correct people, with correct understanding that brings you what you truly, deeply desire. If this is not in place, then no matter how much hard work you put into it, you will not achieve success or your success will be superficial, or you will come to realize that what you achieved and thought to be success is not success.

Imagine you achieve what you want to work so hard for - you are truly, indisputably good at it. Your dream is fulfilled. This is a place where you will have to face the question: why was this my dream ? Maybe you will be satisfied. What if you won't, however ? "Then I'll think about it" - yes.. but you will feel it, those massive amounts of effort and hard work that were simply misplaced, all those sacrifices.. just how would it feel to learn that they were misdirected ? That they didn't really bring you what you thought they would ?

I'm not saying this is necessarily the case with you but determining which goal or destination is best is far more important and should come before dedication to a goal or destination - and it is actually very rarely the case in a society because, by the social values, what matters is having a goal and success is achieving a goal. The equation is: hard work + achieving a goal = gratification.

Pretty much i've spent the whole of my life being insecure and looking for purpose. Heavily laden with autistic/aspergers tendencies and other socially awkward factors, life for me has been a continuous struggle of finding things which I think I could be good at, and quickly peaking or being frustrated at my inability to improve.

Pretty much most of my life social interactions suffered because these things were secondary compared to "getting good" at stuff. Whether that be academic, health, gaming or a whole bunch of other things.


I think pretty much everyone is insecure, the difference is in degrees rather than having it or not having it. It follows then, that everyone is looking for ways to deal with this insecurity. In most cases, this means self-imposed security of alignment to a general social value, like i.e hard work, achieving something etc that can lead one to being accepted and appreciated by others. What is missing in this approach is that it doesn't really deal with the cause of insecurity - it is yet another diversion.



ionize
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
Ireland399 Posts
November 10 2011 09:04 GMT
#150
Your blog entry was very inspirational and your comments were highly informative. 5/5
I just love video games, what's your excuse?
Chooser
Profile Joined May 2011
Australia25 Posts
November 10 2011 14:08 GMT
#151
What do you do when you have no passions, desires, aspirations and no motivation?

What do you choose to do?
'Ohm nom nom nom nom'
ThatBronyGuy
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
United States169 Posts
November 10 2011 16:52 GMT
#152
On November 10 2011 23:08 Chooser wrote:
What do you do when you have no passions, desires, aspirations and no motivation?

What do you choose to do?


That's pretty deep, and unfortunately, I think that's what a lot of people are going through right now in many places. I think what's going through people's minds is that there is no clear path to the future, and in many cases, people have to rely on themselves to come to some kind of conclusion as to how to proceed forward. It's scary though because there's no right way to think about it and with so many possibilities it causes paralysis in people's thinking and in the end they do nothing. So instead, people begin looking for others to make decisions for them and lead them.

When you ask yourself, "What gets me excited to wake up in the morning," what is your answer? If you don't have one, the one thing I suggest is just being open to everything around you, join some clubs, talk to everyone you can, be friendly / personable. That way you can find something that interests you.

But it's just like the OP has said, he has a passion and is going to pursue it. There's nothing worse, I think, in life than just going through the motions without goals or something to work for. I'm still trying to figure things out myself, but there's no rush . Just make the most of every moment and try your best.
WhiteDog
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
France8650 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-11-10 23:36:53
November 10 2011 23:29 GMT
#153
On November 09 2011 09:01 Sable42 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 09 2011 08:11 Tomazi wrote:
On November 09 2011 07:22 Sable42 wrote:
On November 09 2011 05:39 Tomazi wrote:
On November 08 2011 13:50 AcrossFiveJulys wrote:
On November 08 2011 13:16 reincremate wrote:
On November 08 2011 11:32 BrTarolg wrote:

So i'm chasing my dream. I'm putting everything aside to do it. I'll be sitting in front of a screen every day, for long hours, for the best years of my life.
Nobody is ever going to hear about me, i'm not gonna become famous. I'm not gonna contribute to society.
I'm going to be the scum whos gonna make my fortune from the next financial crisis and global recession.
And i'll be damned, i'm going to put my heart and soul into it. I'm going to work the hardest i've ever worked in my life. I'm going to work so hard its going to be more important than eating, more important than sleeping. The guys i know who work at these places sleep about 4 hours a night.

The absolute key to success is working hard. You don't need talent, you don't need gifts, contacts or luck. You need to work hard, and work your damn ass off.

I'm going to work so hard, and why? Because i'm chasing my dream.

What if I wrote a blog post with the exact same kind of cheesy hollywood chasing a dream crap except I said wanted to be a successful serial killer? Or something more innocuous but nonetheless unethical like world's greatest pickpocket? Or maybe something legal like the CEO of Monsanto or Nike or dictator of some country somewhere?
Would people find that endearing or inspirational?


The difference is he's calling himself "scum" for effect. Just because the guy is going to work for a company that makes smart investments doesn't mean he's going to steal everyone's money. FFS people.

OP, I don't see why you are so hard on yourself about everything. It's so much better to be optimistic about your abilities or else you form mental barriers.



His passion is for an industry that contributes nothing to society. It is, in effect, stealing from people. Just with no face to blame. Commercial banking is actually better. Trading is making money from money because fuck everyone else.

I am proud that my career path will be beneficial for humanity...


In what way are traders stealing money. All they're doing is buying and selling, more or less the same as a trader on ebay. The only difference is the market they trade in is harder for people to understand, and thus is seen by society to be simply fabricating money.

On November 09 2011 06:58 Tomazi wrote:
If the people needing liquidity were doing something worthwhile, society will (would) help make it happen.


Do you think the stock market would work as well as it does to value companies if there were no liquidity in the market. You'd have to wait days between trades, as only those wanting to hold long-term would be buying, which in turn raises the question of who would you be buying from. Imagine if you wanted a loan from a bank, and they told you that instead of just giving you the loan themselves (providing liquidity in the market of savings/loans) that you would have to personally find somebody who was willing to lend you that money. Do you not see how this is inefficient and incredibly backwards?

Liquidity in the markets is worthwhile, and society has evidently made it happen.

And to the OP, great blog, really inspiring.


Within this capitalist system, you are right.

Except the trading and ebay analogy, it's very flawed even in this system. The end result on ebay is that some consumer gets what they want, even if the guy selling is just trading his way up. Financial trading is mostly with theoretical money.


But that is the whole point of the analogy, which you appear to be missing. Trading financial securities is pretty much the same as trading physical goods. Just because the good is more of an abstract idea and not tangible does not mean you are not matching up willing buyers and sellers. Nobody is being forced to buy or sell these securities.

Show nested quote +
On November 09 2011 08:54 WhiteDog wrote:
Why trader ? lol Your dream is to be the "scum"... There is something off with that. Your dream is making money, I'd say it's a shitty dream...


I'm guessing you don't really understand how the financial system work, and are just going along with the stereotypical view that people have at the moment thanks to the media and governments using traders and banks as scapegoats.

Listen, I know well how the finance work. Don't try to play me on that.
But you, did you read his post? He is saying he want to be a "scum", all he wants is to make money. A work is for money, a passion and a vocation doesn't care about that for me, and, as some people said in this thread, he will come to understand it one day or another.
It is a shitty dream in my opinion, and my opinion's arguments are absolute on my opinion.
"every time WhiteDog overuses the word "seriously" in a comment I can make an observation on his fragile emotional state." MoltkeWarding
KazeHydra
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Japan2788 Posts
November 10 2011 23:45 GMT
#154
On November 11 2011 08:29 WhiteDog wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 09 2011 09:01 Sable42 wrote:
On November 09 2011 08:11 Tomazi wrote:
On November 09 2011 07:22 Sable42 wrote:
On November 09 2011 05:39 Tomazi wrote:
On November 08 2011 13:50 AcrossFiveJulys wrote:
On November 08 2011 13:16 reincremate wrote:
On November 08 2011 11:32 BrTarolg wrote:

So i'm chasing my dream. I'm putting everything aside to do it. I'll be sitting in front of a screen every day, for long hours, for the best years of my life.
Nobody is ever going to hear about me, i'm not gonna become famous. I'm not gonna contribute to society.
I'm going to be the scum whos gonna make my fortune from the next financial crisis and global recession.
And i'll be damned, i'm going to put my heart and soul into it. I'm going to work the hardest i've ever worked in my life. I'm going to work so hard its going to be more important than eating, more important than sleeping. The guys i know who work at these places sleep about 4 hours a night.

The absolute key to success is working hard. You don't need talent, you don't need gifts, contacts or luck. You need to work hard, and work your damn ass off.

I'm going to work so hard, and why? Because i'm chasing my dream.

What if I wrote a blog post with the exact same kind of cheesy hollywood chasing a dream crap except I said wanted to be a successful serial killer? Or something more innocuous but nonetheless unethical like world's greatest pickpocket? Or maybe something legal like the CEO of Monsanto or Nike or dictator of some country somewhere?
Would people find that endearing or inspirational?


The difference is he's calling himself "scum" for effect. Just because the guy is going to work for a company that makes smart investments doesn't mean he's going to steal everyone's money. FFS people.

OP, I don't see why you are so hard on yourself about everything. It's so much better to be optimistic about your abilities or else you form mental barriers.



His passion is for an industry that contributes nothing to society. It is, in effect, stealing from people. Just with no face to blame. Commercial banking is actually better. Trading is making money from money because fuck everyone else.

I am proud that my career path will be beneficial for humanity...


In what way are traders stealing money. All they're doing is buying and selling, more or less the same as a trader on ebay. The only difference is the market they trade in is harder for people to understand, and thus is seen by society to be simply fabricating money.

On November 09 2011 06:58 Tomazi wrote:
If the people needing liquidity were doing something worthwhile, society will (would) help make it happen.


Do you think the stock market would work as well as it does to value companies if there were no liquidity in the market. You'd have to wait days between trades, as only those wanting to hold long-term would be buying, which in turn raises the question of who would you be buying from. Imagine if you wanted a loan from a bank, and they told you that instead of just giving you the loan themselves (providing liquidity in the market of savings/loans) that you would have to personally find somebody who was willing to lend you that money. Do you not see how this is inefficient and incredibly backwards?

Liquidity in the markets is worthwhile, and society has evidently made it happen.

And to the OP, great blog, really inspiring.


Within this capitalist system, you are right.

Except the trading and ebay analogy, it's very flawed even in this system. The end result on ebay is that some consumer gets what they want, even if the guy selling is just trading his way up. Financial trading is mostly with theoretical money.


But that is the whole point of the analogy, which you appear to be missing. Trading financial securities is pretty much the same as trading physical goods. Just because the good is more of an abstract idea and not tangible does not mean you are not matching up willing buyers and sellers. Nobody is being forced to buy or sell these securities.

On November 09 2011 08:54 WhiteDog wrote:
Why trader ? lol Your dream is to be the "scum"... There is something off with that. Your dream is making money, I'd say it's a shitty dream...


I'm guessing you don't really understand how the financial system work, and are just going along with the stereotypical view that people have at the moment thanks to the media and governments using traders and banks as scapegoats.

Listen, I know well how the finance work. Don't try to play me on that.
But you, did you read his post? He is saying he want to be a "scum", all he wants is to make money. A work is for money, a passion and a vocation doesn't care about that for me, and, as some people said in this thread, he will come to understand it one day or another.
It is a shitty dream in my opinion, and my opinion's arguments are absolute on my opinion.

quoting out of context at its best. let's say someone was passionate about starcraft and wanted to reach code S by being the "scum who steals ladder points." then someone responds as so:
"He is saying he wants to be 'scum' all he wants is ladder points. A passion for starcraft doesn't care about ladder points and he will understand that one day. It's a shitty dream in my opinion."

Yeah, you guys have a point about how his passion isn't admirable or anything but it's not like he thinks it is. You're focusing way too much on his choice of words and not actually bothering to consider what he means when he says that.
"Because I know this promise that won’t disappear will turn even a cause of tears into strength. You taught me that if I can believe, there is nothing that cannot come true." - Nana Mizuki (Yakusoku) 17:36 ils kaze got me into nana 17:36 ils by his blog
Reptilia
Profile Joined June 2010
Chile913 Posts
November 11 2011 00:41 GMT
#155
i wish i was passionated about something like you are.
Good luck!
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources
BrTarolg
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
United Kingdom3574 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-11-11 00:59:02
November 11 2011 00:57 GMT
#156
On November 11 2011 08:29 WhiteDog wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 09 2011 09:01 Sable42 wrote:
On November 09 2011 08:11 Tomazi wrote:
On November 09 2011 07:22 Sable42 wrote:
On November 09 2011 05:39 Tomazi wrote:
On November 08 2011 13:50 AcrossFiveJulys wrote:
On November 08 2011 13:16 reincremate wrote:
On November 08 2011 11:32 BrTarolg wrote:

So i'm chasing my dream. I'm putting everything aside to do it. I'll be sitting in front of a screen every day, for long hours, for the best years of my life.
Nobody is ever going to hear about me, i'm not gonna become famous. I'm not gonna contribute to society.
I'm going to be the scum whos gonna make my fortune from the next financial crisis and global recession.
And i'll be damned, i'm going to put my heart and soul into it. I'm going to work the hardest i've ever worked in my life. I'm going to work so hard its going to be more important than eating, more important than sleeping. The guys i know who work at these places sleep about 4 hours a night.

The absolute key to success is working hard. You don't need talent, you don't need gifts, contacts or luck. You need to work hard, and work your damn ass off.

I'm going to work so hard, and why? Because i'm chasing my dream.

What if I wrote a blog post with the exact same kind of cheesy hollywood chasing a dream crap except I said wanted to be a successful serial killer? Or something more innocuous but nonetheless unethical like world's greatest pickpocket? Or maybe something legal like the CEO of Monsanto or Nike or dictator of some country somewhere?
Would people find that endearing or inspirational?


The difference is he's calling himself "scum" for effect. Just because the guy is going to work for a company that makes smart investments doesn't mean he's going to steal everyone's money. FFS people.

OP, I don't see why you are so hard on yourself about everything. It's so much better to be optimistic about your abilities or else you form mental barriers.



His passion is for an industry that contributes nothing to society. It is, in effect, stealing from people. Just with no face to blame. Commercial banking is actually better. Trading is making money from money because fuck everyone else.

I am proud that my career path will be beneficial for humanity...


In what way are traders stealing money. All they're doing is buying and selling, more or less the same as a trader on ebay. The only difference is the market they trade in is harder for people to understand, and thus is seen by society to be simply fabricating money.

On November 09 2011 06:58 Tomazi wrote:
If the people needing liquidity were doing something worthwhile, society will (would) help make it happen.


Do you think the stock market would work as well as it does to value companies if there were no liquidity in the market. You'd have to wait days between trades, as only those wanting to hold long-term would be buying, which in turn raises the question of who would you be buying from. Imagine if you wanted a loan from a bank, and they told you that instead of just giving you the loan themselves (providing liquidity in the market of savings/loans) that you would have to personally find somebody who was willing to lend you that money. Do you not see how this is inefficient and incredibly backwards?

Liquidity in the markets is worthwhile, and society has evidently made it happen.

And to the OP, great blog, really inspiring.


Within this capitalist system, you are right.

Except the trading and ebay analogy, it's very flawed even in this system. The end result on ebay is that some consumer gets what they want, even if the guy selling is just trading his way up. Financial trading is mostly with theoretical money.


But that is the whole point of the analogy, which you appear to be missing. Trading financial securities is pretty much the same as trading physical goods. Just because the good is more of an abstract idea and not tangible does not mean you are not matching up willing buyers and sellers. Nobody is being forced to buy or sell these securities.

On November 09 2011 08:54 WhiteDog wrote:
Why trader ? lol Your dream is to be the "scum"... There is something off with that. Your dream is making money, I'd say it's a shitty dream...


I'm guessing you don't really understand how the financial system work, and are just going along with the stereotypical view that people have at the moment thanks to the media and governments using traders and banks as scapegoats.

Listen, I know well how the finance work. Don't try to play me on that.
But you, did you read his post? He is saying he want to be a "scum", all he wants is to make money. A work is for money, a passion and a vocation doesn't care about that for me, and, as some people said in this thread, he will come to understand it one day or another.
It is a shitty dream in my opinion, and my opinion's arguments are absolute on my opinion.


You know, i was in a chat with some prop guys and I said "hey did you hear that rumor about an explosion somewhere"
And then he said "i hope France explodes, then i can make 10 ticks on this trade"

All i could think was "lol"

edit: btw i'm serious this is actually a convo i had earlier in the week
gronnelg
Profile Joined December 2010
Norway354 Posts
November 11 2011 11:15 GMT
#157
Very interesting read!
I hope it will work out for you!
Gl hf dd2f
Lulzez || My stream: http://www.twitch.tv/gronnelg
WhiteDog
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
France8650 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-11-11 15:12:17
November 11 2011 15:08 GMT
#158
On November 11 2011 09:57 BrTarolg wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 11 2011 08:29 WhiteDog wrote:
On November 09 2011 09:01 Sable42 wrote:
On November 09 2011 08:11 Tomazi wrote:
On November 09 2011 07:22 Sable42 wrote:
On November 09 2011 05:39 Tomazi wrote:
On November 08 2011 13:50 AcrossFiveJulys wrote:
On November 08 2011 13:16 reincremate wrote:
On November 08 2011 11:32 BrTarolg wrote:

So i'm chasing my dream. I'm putting everything aside to do it. I'll be sitting in front of a screen every day, for long hours, for the best years of my life.
Nobody is ever going to hear about me, i'm not gonna become famous. I'm not gonna contribute to society.
I'm going to be the scum whos gonna make my fortune from the next financial crisis and global recession.
And i'll be damned, i'm going to put my heart and soul into it. I'm going to work the hardest i've ever worked in my life. I'm going to work so hard its going to be more important than eating, more important than sleeping. The guys i know who work at these places sleep about 4 hours a night.

The absolute key to success is working hard. You don't need talent, you don't need gifts, contacts or luck. You need to work hard, and work your damn ass off.

I'm going to work so hard, and why? Because i'm chasing my dream.

What if I wrote a blog post with the exact same kind of cheesy hollywood chasing a dream crap except I said wanted to be a successful serial killer? Or something more innocuous but nonetheless unethical like world's greatest pickpocket? Or maybe something legal like the CEO of Monsanto or Nike or dictator of some country somewhere?
Would people find that endearing or inspirational?


The difference is he's calling himself "scum" for effect. Just because the guy is going to work for a company that makes smart investments doesn't mean he's going to steal everyone's money. FFS people.

OP, I don't see why you are so hard on yourself about everything. It's so much better to be optimistic about your abilities or else you form mental barriers.



His passion is for an industry that contributes nothing to society. It is, in effect, stealing from people. Just with no face to blame. Commercial banking is actually better. Trading is making money from money because fuck everyone else.

I am proud that my career path will be beneficial for humanity...


In what way are traders stealing money. All they're doing is buying and selling, more or less the same as a trader on ebay. The only difference is the market they trade in is harder for people to understand, and thus is seen by society to be simply fabricating money.

On November 09 2011 06:58 Tomazi wrote:
If the people needing liquidity were doing something worthwhile, society will (would) help make it happen.


Do you think the stock market would work as well as it does to value companies if there were no liquidity in the market. You'd have to wait days between trades, as only those wanting to hold long-term would be buying, which in turn raises the question of who would you be buying from. Imagine if you wanted a loan from a bank, and they told you that instead of just giving you the loan themselves (providing liquidity in the market of savings/loans) that you would have to personally find somebody who was willing to lend you that money. Do you not see how this is inefficient and incredibly backwards?

Liquidity in the markets is worthwhile, and society has evidently made it happen.

And to the OP, great blog, really inspiring.


Within this capitalist system, you are right.

Except the trading and ebay analogy, it's very flawed even in this system. The end result on ebay is that some consumer gets what they want, even if the guy selling is just trading his way up. Financial trading is mostly with theoretical money.


But that is the whole point of the analogy, which you appear to be missing. Trading financial securities is pretty much the same as trading physical goods. Just because the good is more of an abstract idea and not tangible does not mean you are not matching up willing buyers and sellers. Nobody is being forced to buy or sell these securities.

On November 09 2011 08:54 WhiteDog wrote:
Why trader ? lol Your dream is to be the "scum"... There is something off with that. Your dream is making money, I'd say it's a shitty dream...


I'm guessing you don't really understand how the financial system work, and are just going along with the stereotypical view that people have at the moment thanks to the media and governments using traders and banks as scapegoats.

Listen, I know well how the finance work. Don't try to play me on that.
But you, did you read his post? He is saying he want to be a "scum", all he wants is to make money. A work is for money, a passion and a vocation doesn't care about that for me, and, as some people said in this thread, he will come to understand it one day or another.
It is a shitty dream in my opinion, and my opinion's arguments are absolute on my opinion.


You know, i was in a chat with some prop guys and I said "hey did you hear that rumor about an explosion somewhere"
And then he said "i hope France explodes, then i can make 10 ticks on this trade"

All i could think was "lol"

edit: btw i'm serious this is actually a convo i had earlier in the week

That's exactly why finance is the worst... The guy saying "stealing the ladder point" is somehow comparable to making money out of a financial crisis is actually making fun of all the guys that lost their jobs due to the crisis.

I'm sure you are a nice guy by the way, I'm not judging you. And in a way I am cheering for you because having a dream is a good thing/ but your "dream" is not something I will applaud you for.
"every time WhiteDog overuses the word "seriously" in a comment I can make an observation on his fragile emotional state." MoltkeWarding
braebot
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Canada64 Posts
November 12 2011 00:37 GMT
#159
I love TL for these posts . I think I speak for everyone when i say that we all have doubts in ourselves, and reading posts like these make me feel more secure about myself. this site definitely the one place I know I can go to if I need words of encouragement or a sense of direction.

cheers to you brother, great read, keep givin'er
EatThePath
Profile Blog Joined September 2009
United States3943 Posts
November 13 2011 04:47 GMT
#160
Ardent human endeavor is inherently captivating. But people who pursue something for self fulfillment without a higher ideal are just more automatons, even if they are impressive compared to those with even less direction and awareness.

For everyone reading, please aim higher.
Comprehensive strategic intention: DNE
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