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DAMN!
So my little brother just got into StarCraft and no more than a week ago he couldn't even beat computers! He struggled so bad and I tried to teach him some of the basics so that he understands the game and how to beat those computers with no problem.
So he took it by heart and started practicing, I saw him everyday there just sitting staring at the monitor non-strop trying to beat the PCs.
Not long ago he came up to me saying "Look! I beat the computer!!!" as he proceeded to taking me by the hand to the computer and loading a replay called FINALLYWIN.rep.
In the replay I saw that he started out very well actually, and as I looked somewhere else waiting for the game to unfold he had already a massive army, I mean, HUGE, and proceeded to taking out not one, but THREE (YES, DAMN RIGHT, THREE)computers out in like no time.
I literally sat there wondering W T F, as he simply smiled at me and went on to doing something else somewhere.
I checked replay and he had an amazing APM, I have no idea how the hell he managed to get so high (around 280-300) but in it was in fact; unbelievable, I thought that wasn't him until I checked the player name, and as it turns out, it was no more and no less than he himself.
I went to him and asked what he was doing to be this good??? He simply looked at me and said "I've been playing on iccup" so I log on to icc and see his name and check that he has C- 20-0 stats. My jaw drops to the floor.
This time I literally run up to him, pick him up by the shoulders, and scream in his apathetic little face "HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING THIS?" and while he chuckled, he said "it's a secret!"
I didn't break his ass because he went running with mommy in time and she would yell in my face and throw a frying pan at me if I lay a single finger on him, so I went to his room again. As I checked the replay and his latest games, I just couldn't believe it, is he a StarCraft prodigy or something?
And while I looked down on the floor, I saw a half open box, and because of curiosity, decided to open it up as I've never seen it there before. And when I opened it, my mind suddenly became clear, I understood everything in an instant and got so enraged because of its simplicity and perfect logic that I just took the bow and threw it out the breaking window while screaming at the top of my lungs "W T F!!!!!!!???????"
But I mean, it is true, what he had in that box is indeed the great Protoss Secret, and I will not mind sharing it with you tonight my brothers. Here it is:
+ Show Spoiler +
  
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Aotearoa39261 Posts
to quote your sig
"epic fail"
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I don't get how this makes him good at macro
also wtf g
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i feel you man, i could play protoss with my DICK
... and that was the worst 1000th post ever
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oh wow..i totally did not see that coming. I mean, 1a2a3a jokes are pretty original
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... U were that guy who made the thread about wet dicks too right...
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wtf is the g for? gg? O.o
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On February 11 2009 09:32 Caller wrote:
I don't get how this makes him good at macro
also wtf g
probably for the gg
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Worst thread I've ever had the displeasure of clicking in my entire TL.net experience.
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United States6454 Posts
On February 11 2009 09:35 Ra.Xor.2 wrote:
... U were that guy who made the thread about wet dicks too right...
yeah but that one was funny
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Katowice25012 Posts
need a d key to make an army, bro
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United States24612 Posts
On February 11 2009 09:31 Plexa wrote:
to quote your sig
"epic fail"
First negative post I've ever seen Plexa make hahaha.
You should have made the story slightly more plausible prior to the joke...
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Wow, just alt+qq. Oh wait, you can't because you removed them. I also see that your brother is so good he only needs 3 hotkeys and no F-hotkeys. He also manually clicks icon to build except arbiters and gateways. Show this to Tasteless and tell him to add your segment on his keyboard guide.
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G for gateways?
wheres Z for zealots?
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Just typing 1a2a3a was getting old so he resorted to visual stimulation. This is not trolling, this is artistry.
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this was funny
in 2007. 1/5
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Whoa, clever punchline bro.
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On February 11 2009 09:37 Fontong wrote:Show nested quote +On February 11 2009 09:35 Ra.Xor.2 wrote:
... U were that guy who made the thread about wet dicks too right... yeah but that one was funny
Unintentionally so.
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I thought this was supposed to be a secret?
o_O
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really not even remotely funny
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On February 11 2009 09:54 Tensai176 wrote:
I thought this was supposed to be a secret?
o_O
If it's been said one billion times already, I think it's safe to say it's no longer a secret.
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hey, i got the Terran and Zerg secret. it goes like this.....
ah fuck it , its too complicated.
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Great build-up/story. Fail punchline.
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thedeadhaji
39489 Posts
you need all the numbers, p, b, g, a, t, v, d, r, z, tab, shift, ctrl, at the very least ~_~
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thedeadhaji
39489 Posts
On February 11 2009 10:04 DaleKim25 wrote:
Great build-up/story. Fail punchline.
this
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at C+,
1a2a3a doesn't work against terrans anymore T_T
but yeah, maybe 1-2 years ago -______-.
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United States24612 Posts
On February 11 2009 10:06 thedeadhaji wrote:
you need all the numbers, p, b, g, a, t, v, d, r, z, tab, shift, ctrl, at the very least ~_~
Don't forget y
Btw do you really need tab? O.o
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lol, so many haters.
1a2a3a4a1a2a3a4a1a2a3a4a
We evolve yo.
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oh...people are still using this as an excuse for sucking?
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This is the only well done 1a2a3a joke I've ever seen...
The only reason this didn't get a warmer welcome as far as I can tell is because people hate Raptor.
Might be time for a new account buddy, and hold off on the wet dick threads.
As far as 1a2a3a jokes themselves, I'm a zerg player and was sick and fucking tired of them since I didn't laugh/rolled my eyes at the first one.
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I saw this coming before I even opened the thread.
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at least need a b key for build, v for advanced buildings, z d t k for units and p key for probes and pylons.
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*yawn* at least make the story believable first (and funny)
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On February 11 2009 09:59 TheFlashyOne wrote:
hey, i got the Terran and Zerg secret. it goes like this.....
ah fuck it , its too complicated.
hahahahaha
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On February 11 2009 10:31 xmShake wrote:
I saw this coming before I even opened the thread.
I thought i saw this coming before I opened the thread. When I started reading I though "Wait a minute maybe this isn't..." then i scrolled down and saw the pic.
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lol@ Tl bandwagon
I for one thought it was lawl
1a2a3a ez
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United States10774 Posts
i think plexa said it all
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I think the OP's story is good enough to win a starcraft 2 write a story about starcraft contest...
but seriously you should have known better, teamliquid is too elitist for this kind of shit.
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Hong Kong20321 Posts
loooooooool awesome hahahah i thoughti t was funny xd
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LOOOL@ the keyboard. 1a2a3a gg
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safe to say raptor is getting raped by protosses lol
get better, dont bitch.
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300 APM and he's able to mouse macro entirely? (no b, no z, no d) Wow your bro is REALLY fucking good
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Stop hatin'
I thought it was pretty funny because of the visual.
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Kau
Canada3500 Posts
Only problem was that there has been a cooler keyboard picture posted before somewhere.
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On February 11 2009 12:01 Kau wrote:
Only problem was that there has been a cooler keyboard picture posted before somewhere.
I remember seeing that around as well.
It had the same keyboard layout (the 1, 2, 3, a, g).
Sort of suspect the OP of stealing the idea.
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GET IT, CAUSE PROTOSS IS EASY! Hohohohoho!
Fail.
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On February 11 2009 12:21 Salv wrote:
GET IT, CAUSE PROTOSS IS EASY! Hohohohoho!
Win.
fixed
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I have to say, the build up to it was pretty good.
The ending could have been better. 
Nice try.
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Kentor
United States5784 Posts
you make the worst blogs.
and to people saying the build up was good:
the build up was stupid... as fuck
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dudes chill out =D
we're all one ^^ we're a big sc community and my only desire for it is to make it bound together and have fun and float on this huge storm of newer, better "GRAPIXZZ!!!" games.
of course im not saying it by heart xd ive played p and its not that easy!
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i already knew this secret. i just wanted to see how he would tell the joke, which was done pretty well.
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On February 11 2009 12:36 SayaSP wrote:
Sup Salv
Sup.
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United States17042 Posts
I was waiting for something more epic than that. like a special micro ring stolen from boxer or something
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I got a smile from this but as you can see Protoss players have a special hatred for people that mock them and stuff
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It had potential, but you should have added like 5 more pages to give it more of a "better nate than lever" feel.
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On February 11 2009 10:56 CharlieMurphy wrote:
i feel cheated
yea i know
apparently you needed more in your blog then "FUCK PROTOSS"
good enough for me though
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God that was so terrible. I hate you.
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You guys are too harsh, I give it an A for effort.
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this could be true.. just click everyhting else.. and only uses the hotkey 123 a and g g for saying gg and building gateway. other buildings and units just use mouse click. this could really increases your apm. i tried it. my apm shot up from 150 to 300 and i started owning in iccup. it also makes my mouse speed faster because i have to concentrate on less hotkeys.
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LOL I actually find this bitterly funny....
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On February 11 2009 18:24 KingofHearts wrote:
this could be true.. just click everyhting else.. and only uses the hotkey 123 a and g g for saying gg and building gateway. other buildings and units just use mouse click. this could really increases your apm. i tried it. my apm shot up from 150 to 300 and i started owning in iccup. it also makes my mouse speed faster because i have to concentrate on less hotkeys.
haha
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On February 11 2009 18:24 KingofHearts wrote:
this could be true.. just click everyhting else.. and only uses the hotkey 123 a and g g for saying gg and building gateway. other buildings and units just use mouse click. this could really increases your apm. i tried it. my apm shot up from 150 to 300 and i started owning in iccup. it also makes my mouse speed faster because i have to concentrate on less hotkeys.
lol funny joke.
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You dont need to group actually, mass select then attack moving is the way a protoss kicks ass
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1\10 for making me read it.
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On February 11 2009 14:55 Divinek wrote:
God that was so terrible. I hate you.
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Not as bad as others make it out to be but lame at the same time.
4/10
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Wow, poor OP, guess this blog is a couple months too late, as it wasn't a bad effort at all
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United States47024 Posts
This blog at fail.
Everyone knows that any EZ mode protoss keyboard needs the "T" key.
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On February 12 2009 07:00 TheYango wrote:
This blog at fail.
Everyone knows that any EZ mode protoss keyboard needs the "T" key.
it actually needs the 'K" key if you're aiming for a shorter game
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It made me rofl. Old punch line, but funny build up. I like the throw out the window part...
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On February 12 2009 12:22 SCC-Faust wrote:
What is the G for?
gg. or g-string
edit: not g string its J string lmao...
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There is no enter key. How the hell are you going to "gg"?
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It's "g" for good obv! Oh wait that's "d"...
And the picture doesn't go far enough over to tell if there is an enter key or not but dunno why a protoss player would want to communicate with other, lesser beings.
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I really thought this was going to make my day... only that it didn't.
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On February 12 2009 12:29 SCC-Faust wrote:
There is no enter key. How the hell are you going to "gg"?
you can't see the enter button obviously
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outdated 
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rofl
i dont know why people are flaming this
this is genius
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Northern Ireland22208 Posts
Shit damn that's where I'm going wrong
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Awesome this was pretty awesome I laughed
What's with all the flames... -_-
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No need for the G key just at the end of a game type "AA"
Edit: Oops saw this in Pony Expresss sory guys =(.
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lol i had a feeling it would be 1a2a3a joke
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I believed you until I saw that keyboard.
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rofllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
5/5
1a2a3a is old, but i still laughed.
nice work.
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I know people who just hotkey their gateways only and spam those... is that worse?
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Wow. Fail. Not funny at all.
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United States10774 Posts
lol did you really bump this to say that :/
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I enjoyed this the second time around just as much as the first.
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EPT![[image loading]](http://img147.imageshack.us/img147/9105/snapshot20090210cs2.jpg)
