• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EDT 01:20
CEST 07:20
KST 14:20
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
Team Liquid Map Contest #22: Results and Winners6Code S Season 2 (2026): RO4 and Finals Preview12TL.net Map Contest #22 - Voting & Ladder Map Selection7Code S Season 2 (2026) - RO8 Preview5[ASL21] Finals Preview: Two Legacies21
Community News
Douyu Cup 2026: $20,000 Legends Event (June 26-28)6[BSL22] Non-Korean Championship from 13 to 28 June3Weekly Cups (May 25-31): Clem doubles, 2v2 circuit heads toward finale0StarCraft II 5.0.16 PTR Patch Notes may 26th153Weekly Cups (May 18-24): MaxPax wins doubles0
StarCraft 2
General
High level ptr replays? where can I find them? StarCraft II 5.0.16 PTR Patch Notes may 26th Team Liquid Map Contest #22: Results and Winners TL Poll: How do you feel about the 5.0.16 PTR balance changes? TL.net Map Contest #22 - Voting & Ladder Map Selection
Tourneys
Maestros of The Game 2 announcement and schedule ! Sparkling Tuna Cup - Weekly Open Tournament Douyu Cup 2026: $20,000 Legends Event (June 26-28) Sea Duckling Open (Global, Bronze-Diamond) GSL Code S Season 2 (2026)
Strategy
[G] Having the right mentality to improve
Custom Maps
Dubai Escorts [D]RTS in all its shapes and glory <3
External Content
The PondCast: SC2 News & Results Mutation # 529 Opportunities Unleashed Mutation # 528 Infection Detected Welcome to the External Content forum
Brood War
General
BGH Auto Balance -> http://bghmmr.eu/ vespene.gg — BW replays in browser [BSL22] Non-Korean Championship from 13 to 28 June The Korean Terminology Thread Data needed
Tourneys
[ASL21] Grand Finals [BSL22] Grand Finals - Sunday 21:00 CEST [Megathread] Daily Proleagues Escore Tournament StarCraft Season 2
Strategy
Why doesn't anyone use restoration? Any training maps people recommend? Muta micro map competition [G] Hydra ZvZ: An Introduction
Other Games
General Games
Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread Nintendo Switch Thread PC Games Sales Thread ZeroSpace Megathread Summer Games Done Quick 2026!
Dota 2
Looking for a Dota Mentor Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
Vanilla Mini Mafia
Community
General
Trading/Investing Thread US Politics Mega-thread Russo-Ukrainian War Thread Canadian Politics Mega-thread Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine
Fan Clubs
The herO Fan Club!
Media & Entertainment
Movie Discussion! [Req][Books] Good Fantasy/SciFi books [TV/BOOK] *SPOILERS* Game of Thrones Discussion [Manga] One Piece
Sports
Cricket [SPORT] TeamLiquid Health and Fitness Initiative For 2023 2024 - 2026 Football Thread NBA General Discussion McBoner: A hockey love story
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread Facing Challenges in Mobile App Development
TL Community
The Automated Ban List
Blogs
How Streaming Impacts Game P…
TrAiDoS
An Exploration of th…
waywardstrategy
I'm an arrogant trash talke…
FlaShFTW
Gauntlet SC2: A Retrospectiv…
Ctone23
Why RTS gamers make better f…
gosubay
ASL S21 English Commentary…
namkraft
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 7923 users

The Protoss Secret

Blogs > EsX_Raptor
Post a Reply
1 2 3 4 5 6 Next All
EsX_Raptor
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States2802 Posts
February 11 2009 00:27 GMT
#1
DAMN!

So my little brother just got into StarCraft and no more than a week ago he couldn't even beat computers! He struggled so bad and I tried to teach him some of the basics so that he understands the game and how to beat those computers with no problem.

So he took it by heart and started practicing, I saw him everyday there just sitting staring at the monitor non-strop trying to beat the PCs.

Not long ago he came up to me saying "Look! I beat the computer!!!" as he proceeded to taking me by the hand to the computer and loading a replay called FINALLYWIN.rep.

In the replay I saw that he started out very well actually, and as I looked somewhere else waiting for the game to unfold he had already a massive army, I mean, HUGE, and proceeded to taking out not one, but THREE (YES, DAMN RIGHT, THREE)computers out in like no time.

I literally sat there wondering W T F, as he simply smiled at me and went on to doing something else somewhere.

I checked replay and he had an amazing APM, I have no idea how the hell he managed to get so high (around 280-300) but in it was in fact; unbelievable, I thought that wasn't him until I checked the player name, and as it turns out, it was no more and no less than he himself.

I went to him and asked what he was doing to be this good??? He simply looked at me and said "I've been playing on iccup" so I log on to icc and see his name and check that he has C- 20-0 stats. My jaw drops to the floor.

This time I literally run up to him, pick him up by the shoulders, and scream in his apathetic little face "HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING THIS?" and while he chuckled, he said "it's a secret!"

I didn't break his ass because he went running with mommy in time and she would yell in my face and throw a frying pan at me if I lay a single finger on him, so I went to his room again. As I checked the replay and his latest games, I just couldn't believe it, is he a StarCraft prodigy or something?

And while I looked down on the floor, I saw a half open box, and because of curiosity, decided to open it up as I've never seen it there before. And when I opened it, my mind suddenly became clear, I understood everything in an instant and got so enraged because of its simplicity and perfect logic that I just took the bow and threw it out the breaking window while screaming at the top of my lungs "W T F!!!!!!!???????"

But I mean, it is true, what he had in that box is indeed the great Protoss Secret, and I will not mind sharing it with you tonight my brothers. Here it is:

+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]
so simple yet so true...


*
Plexa
Profile Blog Joined October 2005
Aotearoa39261 Posts
February 11 2009 00:31 GMT
#2
to quote your sig
"epic fail"
Administrator~ Spirit will set you free ~
Caller
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
Poland8075 Posts
February 11 2009 00:32 GMT
#3
I don't get how this makes him good at macro

also wtf g
Watch me fail at Paradox: http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=397564
AcrossFiveJulys
Profile Blog Joined September 2005
United States3612 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-02-11 00:33:18
February 11 2009 00:32 GMT
#4
i feel you man, i could play protoss with my DICK

... and that was the worst 1000th post ever
shavingcream66
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States1219 Posts
February 11 2009 00:33 GMT
#5
oh wow..i totally did not see that coming. I mean, 1a2a3a jokes are pretty original
Ra.Xor.2
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
United States1784 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-02-11 00:36:41
February 11 2009 00:35 GMT
#6
... U were that guy who made the thread about wet dicks too right...
#1 Flash Fan
b3h47pte
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States1317 Posts
February 11 2009 00:35 GMT
#7
wtf is the g for? gg? O.o
chaoser
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States5541 Posts
February 11 2009 00:35 GMT
#8
On February 11 2009 09:32 Caller wrote:
I don't get how this makes him good at macro

also wtf g


probably for the gg
Haven't you heard? I'm not an ex-progamer. I'm not a poker player. I'm not an admin of the site. I'm mother fucking Rekrul.
koreasilver
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
9109 Posts
February 11 2009 00:37 GMT
#9
Worst thread I've ever had the displeasure of clicking in my entire TL.net experience.
Fontong
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
United States6454 Posts
February 11 2009 00:37 GMT
#10
On February 11 2009 09:35 Ra.Xor.2 wrote:
... U were that guy who made the thread about wet dicks too right...

yeah but that one was funny
[SECRET FONT] "Dragoon bunker"
Heyoka
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
Katowice25012 Posts
February 11 2009 00:38 GMT
#11
need a d key to make an army, bro
@RealHeyoka | ESL / DreamHack StarCraft Lead
micronesia
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States24777 Posts
February 11 2009 00:38 GMT
#12
On February 11 2009 09:31 Plexa wrote:
to quote your sig
"epic fail"

First negative post I've ever seen Plexa make hahaha.

You should have made the story slightly more plausible prior to the joke...
ModeratorThere are animal crackers for people and there are people crackers for animals.
deathgod6
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
United States5064 Posts
February 11 2009 00:41 GMT
#13
Wow, just alt+qq. Oh wait, you can't because you removed them. I also see that your brother is so good he only needs 3 hotkeys and no F-hotkeys. He also manually clicks icon to build except arbiters and gateways. Show this to Tasteless and tell him to add your segment on his keyboard guide.
4.0 GPA = A rank 5.0 GPA = Olympic --------- Bisu, Best, Fantasy. i ♥ oov. They can get in my BoxeR anyday.
s.a.y
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
Croatia3840 Posts
February 11 2009 00:41 GMT
#14
G for gateways?

wheres Z for zealots?
I am not good with quotes
Osmoses
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
Sweden5302 Posts
February 11 2009 00:42 GMT
#15
Just typing 1a2a3a was getting old so he resorted to visual stimulation. This is not trolling, this is artistry.
Excuse me hun, but what is your name? Vivian? I woke up next to you naked and, uh, did we, um?
Jonoman92
Profile Blog Joined September 2006
United States9110 Posts
February 11 2009 00:46 GMT
#16
Lool epic build-up...
daz
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
Canada643 Posts
February 11 2009 00:48 GMT
#17
this was funny











in 2007. 1/5
Some eat to remember, some smash to forget. 2009msl.com
3clipse
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
Canada2555 Posts
February 11 2009 00:49 GMT
#18
Whoa, clever punchline bro.
Ingenol
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States1328 Posts
February 11 2009 00:54 GMT
#19
On February 11 2009 09:37 Fontong wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 11 2009 09:35 Ra.Xor.2 wrote:
... U were that guy who made the thread about wet dicks too right...

yeah but that one was funny

Unintentionally so.
Tensai176
Profile Blog Joined March 2007
Canada2061 Posts
February 11 2009 00:54 GMT
#20
I thought this was supposed to be a secret?

o_O
We see things they'll never see
1 2 3 4 5 6 Next All
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
Replay Cast
00:00
Code For Giants Cup #31 / LATAM #7
Liquipedia
PSISTORM Gaming Misc
23:00
FSL s11 TeamLeague: PTB vs POG
Liquipedia
The PiG Daily
21:25
Best Games of SC
Maru vs herO
Reynor vs Classic
Maru vs Classic
Reynor vs Maru
PiGStarcraft524
LiquipediaDiscussion
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
RuFF_SC2 145
ProTech76
PiLiPiLi 36
StarCraft: Brood War
Sea 3589
Mind 567
Leta 206
ZergMaN 32
ajuk12(nOOB) 19
Dota 2
XaKoH 421
LuMiX1
League of Legends
JimRising 763
Counter-Strike
Stewie2K683
Super Smash Bros
Mew2King47
Other Games
C9.Mang0604
PiGStarcraft524
monkeys_forever212
ViBE162
Organizations
Other Games
gamesdonequick889
BasetradeTV140
StarCraft 2
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
[ Show 14 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• Berry_CruncH164
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• Migwel
• sooper7s
StarCraft: Brood War
• Diggity9
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
League of Legends
• Stunt454
• Jankos187
Upcoming Events
CranKy Ducklings
4h 40m
uThermal 2v2 Circuit
9h 40m
BSL22 NKC (BSL vs China)
13h 40m
eOnzErG vs Mihu
Messiah vs XuanXuan
Jaystar vs TerrOr
Dewalt vs Bonyth
eOnzErG vs XuanXuan
Mihu vs TerrOr
Messiah vs Bonyth
Sparkling Tuna Cup
1d 4h
uThermal 2v2 Circuit
1d 9h
BSL22 NKC (BSL vs China)
1d 13h
Jaystar vs Dewalt
eOnzErG vs TerrOr
XuanXuan vs Bonyth
Mihu vs Dewalt
Messiah vs Jaystar
eOnzErG vs Bonyth
TerrOr vs Dewalt
Wardi Open
2 days
OSC
2 days
Replay Cast
4 days
The PondCast
5 days
[ Show More ]
Replay Cast
5 days
OSC
5 days
CranKy Ducklings
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Acropolis #4 - GSB
2026 GSL S2
Heroes Pulsing #1

Ongoing

IPSL Spring 2026
KCM Race Survival 2026 Season 2
Acropolis #4
CSCL: Masked Kings S4
YSL S3
BSL 22 Non-Korean Championship
SCTL 2026 Spring
Maestros of the Game 2
WardiTV Spring 2026
uThermal 2v2 2026 Main Event
Murky Cup 2026
Heroes Pulsing #2
IEM Cologne Major 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 2
CS Asia Championships 2026
Asian Champions League 2026
IEM Atlanta 2026
PGL Astana 2026
BLAST Rivals Spring 2026
IEM Rio 2026
PGL Bucharest 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 1

Upcoming

CSLAN 4
Blizzard Classic Cup 2026
Kung Fu Cup 2026 Grand Finals
CranK Gathers Season 4: BW vs SC2 Team League
HSC XXIX
Douyu Cup 2026
Heroes Pulsing #3
BLAST Open Fall 2026
Esports World Cup 2026
BLAST Bounty Summer 2026
BLAST Bounty Summer Qual
Stake Ranked Episode 3
XSE Pro League 2026
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2026 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.