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The Protoss Secret

Blogs > EsX_Raptor
Post a Reply
1 2 3 4 5 6 Next All
EsX_Raptor
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States2801 Posts
February 11 2009 00:27 GMT
#1
DAMN!

So my little brother just got into StarCraft and no more than a week ago he couldn't even beat computers! He struggled so bad and I tried to teach him some of the basics so that he understands the game and how to beat those computers with no problem.

So he took it by heart and started practicing, I saw him everyday there just sitting staring at the monitor non-strop trying to beat the PCs.

Not long ago he came up to me saying "Look! I beat the computer!!!" as he proceeded to taking me by the hand to the computer and loading a replay called FINALLYWIN.rep.

In the replay I saw that he started out very well actually, and as I looked somewhere else waiting for the game to unfold he had already a massive army, I mean, HUGE, and proceeded to taking out not one, but THREE (YES, DAMN RIGHT, THREE)computers out in like no time.

I literally sat there wondering W T F, as he simply smiled at me and went on to doing something else somewhere.

I checked replay and he had an amazing APM, I have no idea how the hell he managed to get so high (around 280-300) but in it was in fact; unbelievable, I thought that wasn't him until I checked the player name, and as it turns out, it was no more and no less than he himself.

I went to him and asked what he was doing to be this good??? He simply looked at me and said "I've been playing on iccup" so I log on to icc and see his name and check that he has C- 20-0 stats. My jaw drops to the floor.

This time I literally run up to him, pick him up by the shoulders, and scream in his apathetic little face "HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING THIS?" and while he chuckled, he said "it's a secret!"

I didn't break his ass because he went running with mommy in time and she would yell in my face and throw a frying pan at me if I lay a single finger on him, so I went to his room again. As I checked the replay and his latest games, I just couldn't believe it, is he a StarCraft prodigy or something?

And while I looked down on the floor, I saw a half open box, and because of curiosity, decided to open it up as I've never seen it there before. And when I opened it, my mind suddenly became clear, I understood everything in an instant and got so enraged because of its simplicity and perfect logic that I just took the bow and threw it out the breaking window while screaming at the top of my lungs "W T F!!!!!!!???????"

But I mean, it is true, what he had in that box is indeed the great Protoss Secret, and I will not mind sharing it with you tonight my brothers. Here it is:

+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]
so simple yet so true...


*
Plexa
Profile Blog Joined October 2005
Aotearoa39261 Posts
February 11 2009 00:31 GMT
#2
to quote your sig
"epic fail"
Administrator~ Spirit will set you free ~
Caller
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
Poland8075 Posts
February 11 2009 00:32 GMT
#3
I don't get how this makes him good at macro

also wtf g
Watch me fail at Paradox: http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=397564
AcrossFiveJulys
Profile Blog Joined September 2005
United States3612 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-02-11 00:33:18
February 11 2009 00:32 GMT
#4
i feel you man, i could play protoss with my DICK

... and that was the worst 1000th post ever
shavingcream66
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States1219 Posts
February 11 2009 00:33 GMT
#5
oh wow..i totally did not see that coming. I mean, 1a2a3a jokes are pretty original
Ra.Xor.2
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
United States1784 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-02-11 00:36:41
February 11 2009 00:35 GMT
#6
... U were that guy who made the thread about wet dicks too right...
#1 Flash Fan
b3h47pte
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States1317 Posts
February 11 2009 00:35 GMT
#7
wtf is the g for? gg? O.o
chaoser
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States5541 Posts
February 11 2009 00:35 GMT
#8
On February 11 2009 09:32 Caller wrote:
I don't get how this makes him good at macro

also wtf g


probably for the gg
Haven't you heard? I'm not an ex-progamer. I'm not a poker player. I'm not an admin of the site. I'm mother fucking Rekrul.
koreasilver
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
9109 Posts
February 11 2009 00:37 GMT
#9
Worst thread I've ever had the displeasure of clicking in my entire TL.net experience.
Fontong
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
United States6454 Posts
February 11 2009 00:37 GMT
#10
On February 11 2009 09:35 Ra.Xor.2 wrote:
... U were that guy who made the thread about wet dicks too right...

yeah but that one was funny
[SECRET FONT] "Dragoon bunker"
Heyoka
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
Katowice25012 Posts
February 11 2009 00:38 GMT
#11
need a d key to make an army, bro
@RealHeyoka | ESL / DreamHack StarCraft Lead
micronesia
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States24666 Posts
February 11 2009 00:38 GMT
#12
On February 11 2009 09:31 Plexa wrote:
to quote your sig
"epic fail"

First negative post I've ever seen Plexa make hahaha.

You should have made the story slightly more plausible prior to the joke...
ModeratorThere are animal crackers for people and there are people crackers for animals.
deathgod6
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
United States5064 Posts
February 11 2009 00:41 GMT
#13
Wow, just alt+qq. Oh wait, you can't because you removed them. I also see that your brother is so good he only needs 3 hotkeys and no F-hotkeys. He also manually clicks icon to build except arbiters and gateways. Show this to Tasteless and tell him to add your segment on his keyboard guide.
4.0 GPA = A rank 5.0 GPA = Olympic --------- Bisu, Best, Fantasy. i ♥ oov. They can get in my BoxeR anyday.
s.a.y
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
Croatia3840 Posts
February 11 2009 00:41 GMT
#14
G for gateways?

wheres Z for zealots?
I am not good with quotes
Osmoses
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
Sweden5302 Posts
February 11 2009 00:42 GMT
#15
Just typing 1a2a3a was getting old so he resorted to visual stimulation. This is not trolling, this is artistry.
Excuse me hun, but what is your name? Vivian? I woke up next to you naked and, uh, did we, um?
Jonoman92
Profile Blog Joined September 2006
United States9103 Posts
February 11 2009 00:46 GMT
#16
Lool epic build-up...
daz
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
Canada643 Posts
February 11 2009 00:48 GMT
#17
this was funny











in 2007. 1/5
Some eat to remember, some smash to forget. 2009msl.com
3clipse
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
Canada2555 Posts
February 11 2009 00:49 GMT
#18
Whoa, clever punchline bro.
Ingenol
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States1328 Posts
February 11 2009 00:54 GMT
#19
On February 11 2009 09:37 Fontong wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 11 2009 09:35 Ra.Xor.2 wrote:
... U were that guy who made the thread about wet dicks too right...

yeah but that one was funny

Unintentionally so.
Tensai176
Profile Blog Joined March 2007
Canada2061 Posts
February 11 2009 00:54 GMT
#20
I thought this was supposed to be a secret?

o_O
We see things they'll never see
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