• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EDT 10:42
CEST 16:42
KST 23:42
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
Team Liquid Map Contest #22 - The Finalists3[ASL21] Ro16 Preview Pt1: Fresh Flow9[ASL21] Ro24 Preview Pt2: News Flash10[ASL21] Ro24 Preview Pt1: New Chaos0Team Liquid Map Contest #22 - Presented by Monster Energy21
Community News
Weekly Cups (April 6-12): herO doubles, "Villains" prevail0MaNa leaves Team Liquid18$5,000 WardiTV TLMC tournament - Presented by Monster Energy5GSL CK: More events planned pending crowdfunding7Weekly Cups (Mar 30-Apr 5): herO, Clem, SHIN win0
StarCraft 2
General
Team Liquid Map Contest #22 - The Finalists Weekly Cups (April 6-12): herO doubles, "Villains" prevail MaNa leaves Team Liquid Blizzard Classic Cup @ BlizzCon 2026 - $100k prize pool Team Liquid Map Contest #22 - Presented by Monster Energy
Tourneys
2026 GSL Season 1 Qualifiers SEL Doubles (SC Evo Bimonthly) Sparkling Tuna Cup - Weekly Open Tournament $5,000 WardiTV TLMC tournament - Presented by Monster Energy RSL Revival: Season 5 - Qualifiers and Main Event
Strategy
Custom Maps
[D]RTS in all its shapes and glory <3 [A] Nemrods 1/4 players [M] (2) Frigid Storage
External Content
Mutation # 521 Memorable Boss The PondCast: SC2 News & Results Mutation # 520 Moving Fees Mutation # 519 Inner Power
Brood War
General
BGH Auto Balance -> http://bghmmr.eu/ A cwal.gg Extension - Easily keep track of anyone [ASL21] Ro16 Preview Pt1: Fresh Flow BW General Discussion ASL21 Strategy, Pimpest Plays Discussions
Tourneys
[ASL21] Ro24 Group F [ASL21] Ro16 Group B [ASL21] Ro16 Group A [Megathread] Daily Proleagues
Strategy
What's the deal with APM & what's its true value Any training maps people recommend? Fighting Spirit mining rates Muta micro map competition
Other Games
General Games
Battle Aces/David Kim RTS Megathread Nintendo Switch Thread Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread General RTS Discussion Thread Starcraft Tabletop Miniature Game
Dota 2
The Story of Wings Gaming Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
G2 just beat GenG in First stand
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
Vanilla Mini Mafia Mafia Game Mode Feedback/Ideas TL Mafia Community Thread Five o'clock TL Mafia
Community
General
US Politics Mega-thread European Politico-economics QA Mega-thread Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine Russo-Ukrainian War Thread Canadian Politics Mega-thread
Fan Clubs
The IdrA Fan Club
Media & Entertainment
[Req][Books] Good Fantasy/SciFi books [Manga] One Piece Movie Discussion!
Sports
2024 - 2026 Football Thread Formula 1 Discussion Cricket [SPORT] Tokyo Olympics 2021 Thread
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
[G] How to Block Livestream Ads
TL Community
The Automated Ban List
Blogs
Reappraising The Situation T…
TrAiDoS
lurker extra damage testi…
StaticNine
Broowar part 2
qwaykee
Funny Nicknames
LUCKY_NOOB
Iranian anarchists: organize…
XenOsky
ASL S21 English Commentary…
namkraft
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 3534 users

The Protoss Secret

Blogs > EsX_Raptor
Post a Reply
1 2 3 4 5 6 Next All
EsX_Raptor
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States2802 Posts
February 11 2009 00:27 GMT
#1
DAMN!

So my little brother just got into StarCraft and no more than a week ago he couldn't even beat computers! He struggled so bad and I tried to teach him some of the basics so that he understands the game and how to beat those computers with no problem.

So he took it by heart and started practicing, I saw him everyday there just sitting staring at the monitor non-strop trying to beat the PCs.

Not long ago he came up to me saying "Look! I beat the computer!!!" as he proceeded to taking me by the hand to the computer and loading a replay called FINALLYWIN.rep.

In the replay I saw that he started out very well actually, and as I looked somewhere else waiting for the game to unfold he had already a massive army, I mean, HUGE, and proceeded to taking out not one, but THREE (YES, DAMN RIGHT, THREE)computers out in like no time.

I literally sat there wondering W T F, as he simply smiled at me and went on to doing something else somewhere.

I checked replay and he had an amazing APM, I have no idea how the hell he managed to get so high (around 280-300) but in it was in fact; unbelievable, I thought that wasn't him until I checked the player name, and as it turns out, it was no more and no less than he himself.

I went to him and asked what he was doing to be this good??? He simply looked at me and said "I've been playing on iccup" so I log on to icc and see his name and check that he has C- 20-0 stats. My jaw drops to the floor.

This time I literally run up to him, pick him up by the shoulders, and scream in his apathetic little face "HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING THIS?" and while he chuckled, he said "it's a secret!"

I didn't break his ass because he went running with mommy in time and she would yell in my face and throw a frying pan at me if I lay a single finger on him, so I went to his room again. As I checked the replay and his latest games, I just couldn't believe it, is he a StarCraft prodigy or something?

And while I looked down on the floor, I saw a half open box, and because of curiosity, decided to open it up as I've never seen it there before. And when I opened it, my mind suddenly became clear, I understood everything in an instant and got so enraged because of its simplicity and perfect logic that I just took the bow and threw it out the breaking window while screaming at the top of my lungs "W T F!!!!!!!???????"

But I mean, it is true, what he had in that box is indeed the great Protoss Secret, and I will not mind sharing it with you tonight my brothers. Here it is:

+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]
so simple yet so true...


*
Plexa
Profile Blog Joined October 2005
Aotearoa39261 Posts
February 11 2009 00:31 GMT
#2
to quote your sig
"epic fail"
Administrator~ Spirit will set you free ~
Caller
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
Poland8075 Posts
February 11 2009 00:32 GMT
#3
I don't get how this makes him good at macro

also wtf g
Watch me fail at Paradox: http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=397564
AcrossFiveJulys
Profile Blog Joined September 2005
United States3612 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-02-11 00:33:18
February 11 2009 00:32 GMT
#4
i feel you man, i could play protoss with my DICK

... and that was the worst 1000th post ever
shavingcream66
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States1219 Posts
February 11 2009 00:33 GMT
#5
oh wow..i totally did not see that coming. I mean, 1a2a3a jokes are pretty original
Ra.Xor.2
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
United States1784 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-02-11 00:36:41
February 11 2009 00:35 GMT
#6
... U were that guy who made the thread about wet dicks too right...
#1 Flash Fan
b3h47pte
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States1317 Posts
February 11 2009 00:35 GMT
#7
wtf is the g for? gg? O.o
chaoser
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States5541 Posts
February 11 2009 00:35 GMT
#8
On February 11 2009 09:32 Caller wrote:
I don't get how this makes him good at macro

also wtf g


probably for the gg
Haven't you heard? I'm not an ex-progamer. I'm not a poker player. I'm not an admin of the site. I'm mother fucking Rekrul.
koreasilver
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
9109 Posts
February 11 2009 00:37 GMT
#9
Worst thread I've ever had the displeasure of clicking in my entire TL.net experience.
Fontong
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
United States6454 Posts
February 11 2009 00:37 GMT
#10
On February 11 2009 09:35 Ra.Xor.2 wrote:
... U were that guy who made the thread about wet dicks too right...

yeah but that one was funny
[SECRET FONT] "Dragoon bunker"
Heyoka
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
Katowice25012 Posts
February 11 2009 00:38 GMT
#11
need a d key to make an army, bro
@RealHeyoka | ESL / DreamHack StarCraft Lead
micronesia
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States24768 Posts
February 11 2009 00:38 GMT
#12
On February 11 2009 09:31 Plexa wrote:
to quote your sig
"epic fail"

First negative post I've ever seen Plexa make hahaha.

You should have made the story slightly more plausible prior to the joke...
ModeratorThere are animal crackers for people and there are people crackers for animals.
deathgod6
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
United States5064 Posts
February 11 2009 00:41 GMT
#13
Wow, just alt+qq. Oh wait, you can't because you removed them. I also see that your brother is so good he only needs 3 hotkeys and no F-hotkeys. He also manually clicks icon to build except arbiters and gateways. Show this to Tasteless and tell him to add your segment on his keyboard guide.
4.0 GPA = A rank 5.0 GPA = Olympic --------- Bisu, Best, Fantasy. i ♥ oov. They can get in my BoxeR anyday.
s.a.y
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
Croatia3840 Posts
February 11 2009 00:41 GMT
#14
G for gateways?

wheres Z for zealots?
I am not good with quotes
Osmoses
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
Sweden5302 Posts
February 11 2009 00:42 GMT
#15
Just typing 1a2a3a was getting old so he resorted to visual stimulation. This is not trolling, this is artistry.
Excuse me hun, but what is your name? Vivian? I woke up next to you naked and, uh, did we, um?
Jonoman92
Profile Blog Joined September 2006
United States9108 Posts
February 11 2009 00:46 GMT
#16
Lool epic build-up...
daz
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
Canada643 Posts
February 11 2009 00:48 GMT
#17
this was funny











in 2007. 1/5
Some eat to remember, some smash to forget. 2009msl.com
3clipse
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
Canada2555 Posts
February 11 2009 00:49 GMT
#18
Whoa, clever punchline bro.
Ingenol
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States1328 Posts
February 11 2009 00:54 GMT
#19
On February 11 2009 09:37 Fontong wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 11 2009 09:35 Ra.Xor.2 wrote:
... U were that guy who made the thread about wet dicks too right...

yeah but that one was funny

Unintentionally so.
Tensai176
Profile Blog Joined March 2007
Canada2061 Posts
February 11 2009 00:54 GMT
#20
I thought this was supposed to be a secret?

o_O
We see things they'll never see
1 2 3 4 5 6 Next All
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
GSL
12:00
GSL CK #3: Rogue vs SHIN
CranKy Ducklings SOOP74
herO (Afreeca)56
LiquipediaDiscussion
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
LamboSC2 327
Hui .231
herO (Afreeca) 56
Codebar 30
Rex 16
StarCraft: Brood War
Calm 6644
Bisu 3686
Jaedong 1534
Horang2 1274
Mini 517
BeSt 444
Stork 400
Larva 353
Hyuk 284
Soma 281
[ Show more ]
firebathero 269
PianO 269
Light 211
ZerO 186
Rush 108
Pusan 80
Aegong 67
Sea.KH 66
Hyun 65
Killer 55
[sc1f]eonzerg 52
Sharp 40
Movie 39
Shinee 36
Hm[arnc] 29
ToSsGirL 29
sorry 21
soO 20
zelot 18
Rock 16
Sexy 15
Terrorterran 12
GoRush 9
ivOry 7
Dota 2
Gorgc6966
qojqva1774
syndereN267
BananaSlamJamma124
Counter-Strike
olofmeister5749
fl0m5539
byalli457
Super Smash Bros
Mew2King106
Other Games
Liquid`RaSZi1541
B2W.Neo1014
hiko802
Beastyqt463
DeMusliM301
Lowko282
XaKoH 205
QueenE110
ArmadaUGS84
ZerO(Twitch)8
Organizations
Other Games
BasetradeTV347
Counter-Strike
PGL153
StarCraft: Brood War
Kim Chul Min (afreeca) 10
StarCraft 2
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
sctven
[ Show 14 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• Adnapsc2 5
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• Migwel
• sooper7s
StarCraft: Brood War
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
Dota 2
• lizZardDota255
League of Legends
• Nemesis3364
• TFBlade2012
Upcoming Events
PiGosaur Cup
9h 18m
CranKy Ducklings
18h 18m
Kung Fu Cup
21h 18m
Replay Cast
1d 9h
The PondCast
1d 19h
WardiTV Map Contest Tou…
1d 20h
Replay Cast
2 days
Escore
2 days
WardiTV Map Contest Tou…
2 days
Korean StarCraft League
3 days
[ Show More ]
CranKy Ducklings
3 days
WardiTV Map Contest Tou…
3 days
IPSL
4 days
WolFix vs nOmaD
dxtr13 vs Razz
BSL
4 days
Sparkling Tuna Cup
4 days
WardiTV Map Contest Tou…
4 days
Ladder Legends
5 days
BSL
5 days
IPSL
5 days
JDConan vs TBD
Aegong vs rasowy
Replay Cast
5 days
Replay Cast
5 days
Wardi Open
5 days
Afreeca Starleague
5 days
Bisu vs Ample
Jaedong vs Flash
Monday Night Weeklies
6 days
RSL Revival
6 days
Afreeca Starleague
6 days
Barracks vs Leta
Royal vs Light
WardiTV Map Contest Tou…
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Escore Tournament S2: W2
RSL Revival: Season 4
NationLESS Cup

Ongoing

BSL Season 22
ASL Season 21
CSL 2026 SPRING (S20)
IPSL Spring 2026
StarCraft2 Community Team League 2026 Spring
Nations Cup 2026
PGL Bucharest 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 1
BLAST Open Spring 2026
ESL Pro League S23 Finals
ESL Pro League S23 Stage 1&2
PGL Cluj-Napoca 2026
IEM Kraków 2026

Upcoming

Escore Tournament S2: W3
Acropolis #4
BSL 22 Non-Korean Championship
CSLAN 4
Kung Fu Cup 2026 Grand Finals
HSC XXIX
uThermal 2v2 2026 Main Event
RSL Revival: Season 5
WardiTV TLMC #16
IEM Cologne Major 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 2
CS Asia Championships 2026
Asian Champions League 2026
IEM Atlanta 2026
PGL Astana 2026
BLAST Rivals Spring 2026
CCT Season 3 Global Finals
IEM Rio 2026
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2026 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.