• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EST 15:20
CET 21:20
KST 05:20
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
[ASL22] Finals Preview: Sweet Victory!12[ASL22] Ro4 Preview: Mirror Mirror6[ASL22] Ro8 Preview: Within Reach5[ASL22] Ro8 Preview: In A Tizzy11[ASL22] Ro16 Preview: Holy Diver5
Community News
Weekly Cups (Oct 26 - Nov 1): MaxPax, herO, Solar win0Weekly Cups (October 19-25): Clem triples first in 5.0.175Evil Geniuses - shutting down23ISSL (IntoTheTV x SOOP SC2 League): Premier7Weekly Cups (October 12-18): 5.0.17 era begins1
StarCraft 2
General
[D] Hacker peak in sc2 ? No more SC2 streamers on team liquid? Liquibets sc2 season 30 Evil Geniuses - shutting down Weekly Cups (Oct 26 - Nov 1): MaxPax, herO, Solar win
Tourneys
SC4ALL: II Venue Change Announcement! Sparkling Tuna Cup - Weekly Open Tournament WardiTV Mondays ISSL (IntoTheTV x SOOP SC2 League): Premier Stellar Fest TWO the Moon (Dec 16-20)
Strategy
[H] ZvP Mid-Late Game: Stalkers Collossi HT
Custom Maps
[G] How to playtest arcade maps Starcraft 2 Advance [D] the control group Simple Questions/Answers
External Content
Mutation # 550 Graveyard Shift The PondCast: SC2 News & Results Mutation # 549 Endless Sparkles Mutation # 548 Shining Bright
Brood War
General
List of top players active on ShieldBattery Rollback Netcode in Brood War BGH Auto Balance -> http://bghmmr.eu/ sOs joins Best's team, Newcatsle University SC4ALL: II Venue Change Announcement!
Tourneys
[$1250] International ShieldBattery League [Megathread] Daily Proleagues Small VOD Thread 2.0 KCM Race Survival 2026 Season 4
Strategy
50,000-Word Terran Builds Memo 2026-10-22 Cliff Jump Revisited (1 in a 1000 strategy) Simple Questions, Simple Answers
Other Games
General Games
Stratus: Battle for the sky now on steam Early acc Path of Exile Nintendo Switch Thread Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread Deus Ex 3!?
Dota 2
Dota 2 Champions League Season 3 Begins April 25!
League of Legends
[TL LoL EUW IHs] Teemo shall perish
Heroes of the Storm
Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug
TL Mafia
TL Mafia Community Thread
Community
General
US Politics Mega-thread Trading/Investing Thread Dating: How's your luck? Artificial Intelligence Thread Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine
Fan Clubs
Fan Club Resource Thread Reynor Fan Club The Flash Fan Club
Media & Entertainment
Anime Discussion Thread Movie Discussion! [Manga] One Piece
Sports
Football (Soccer) Thread TeamLiquid Health and Fitness Initiative For 2023 MLB/Baseball 2023
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread
TL Community
Recent Gifted Posts
Blogs
Why I built Repalyzer (1.1.…
BlueStar
Innovate or Game Over?
TrAiDoS
ShieldBattery on Mac
Kraekkling
[ASL22] Ro4 Day1 Ticket Giv…
bITt.mAN
Can Bots Beat Pros?? Starcr…
namkraft
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 8992 users

The Protoss Secret

Blogs > EsX_Raptor
Post a Reply
1 2 3 4 5 6 Next All
EsX_Raptor
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States2802 Posts
February 11 2009 00:27 GMT
#1
DAMN!

So my little brother just got into StarCraft and no more than a week ago he couldn't even beat computers! He struggled so bad and I tried to teach him some of the basics so that he understands the game and how to beat those computers with no problem.

So he took it by heart and started practicing, I saw him everyday there just sitting staring at the monitor non-strop trying to beat the PCs.

Not long ago he came up to me saying "Look! I beat the computer!!!" as he proceeded to taking me by the hand to the computer and loading a replay called FINALLYWIN.rep.

In the replay I saw that he started out very well actually, and as I looked somewhere else waiting for the game to unfold he had already a massive army, I mean, HUGE, and proceeded to taking out not one, but THREE (YES, DAMN RIGHT, THREE)computers out in like no time.

I literally sat there wondering W T F, as he simply smiled at me and went on to doing something else somewhere.

I checked replay and he had an amazing APM, I have no idea how the hell he managed to get so high (around 280-300) but in it was in fact; unbelievable, I thought that wasn't him until I checked the player name, and as it turns out, it was no more and no less than he himself.

I went to him and asked what he was doing to be this good??? He simply looked at me and said "I've been playing on iccup" so I log on to icc and see his name and check that he has C- 20-0 stats. My jaw drops to the floor.

This time I literally run up to him, pick him up by the shoulders, and scream in his apathetic little face "HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING THIS?" and while he chuckled, he said "it's a secret!"

I didn't break his ass because he went running with mommy in time and she would yell in my face and throw a frying pan at me if I lay a single finger on him, so I went to his room again. As I checked the replay and his latest games, I just couldn't believe it, is he a StarCraft prodigy or something?

And while I looked down on the floor, I saw a half open box, and because of curiosity, decided to open it up as I've never seen it there before. And when I opened it, my mind suddenly became clear, I understood everything in an instant and got so enraged because of its simplicity and perfect logic that I just took the bow and threw it out the breaking window while screaming at the top of my lungs "W T F!!!!!!!???????"

But I mean, it is true, what he had in that box is indeed the great Protoss Secret, and I will not mind sharing it with you tonight my brothers. Here it is:

+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]
so simple yet so true...


*
Plexa
Profile Blog Joined October 2005
Aotearoa39261 Posts
February 11 2009 00:31 GMT
#2
to quote your sig
"epic fail"
Administrator~ Spirit will set you free ~
Caller
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
Poland8075 Posts
February 11 2009 00:32 GMT
#3
I don't get how this makes him good at macro

also wtf g
Watch me fail at Paradox: http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=397564
AcrossFiveJulys
Profile Blog Joined September 2005
United States3612 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-02-11 00:33:18
February 11 2009 00:32 GMT
#4
i feel you man, i could play protoss with my DICK

... and that was the worst 1000th post ever
shavingcream66
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States1219 Posts
February 11 2009 00:33 GMT
#5
oh wow..i totally did not see that coming. I mean, 1a2a3a jokes are pretty original
Ra.Xor.2
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
United States1784 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-02-11 00:36:41
February 11 2009 00:35 GMT
#6
... U were that guy who made the thread about wet dicks too right...
#1 Flash Fan
b3h47pte
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States1317 Posts
February 11 2009 00:35 GMT
#7
wtf is the g for? gg? O.o
chaoser
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States5541 Posts
February 11 2009 00:35 GMT
#8
On February 11 2009 09:32 Caller wrote:
I don't get how this makes him good at macro

also wtf g


probably for the gg
Haven't you heard? I'm not an ex-progamer. I'm not a poker player. I'm not an admin of the site. I'm mother fucking Rekrul.
koreasilver
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
9109 Posts
February 11 2009 00:37 GMT
#9
Worst thread I've ever had the displeasure of clicking in my entire TL.net experience.
Fontong
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
United States6454 Posts
February 11 2009 00:37 GMT
#10
On February 11 2009 09:35 Ra.Xor.2 wrote:
... U were that guy who made the thread about wet dicks too right...

yeah but that one was funny
[SECRET FONT] "Dragoon bunker"
Heyoka
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
Katowice25012 Posts
February 11 2009 00:38 GMT
#11
need a d key to make an army, bro
@RealHeyoka | ESL / DreamHack StarCraft Lead
micronesia
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States24809 Posts
February 11 2009 00:38 GMT
#12
On February 11 2009 09:31 Plexa wrote:
to quote your sig
"epic fail"

First negative post I've ever seen Plexa make hahaha.

You should have made the story slightly more plausible prior to the joke...
ModeratorThere are animal crackers for people and there are people crackers for animals.
deathgod6
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
United States5064 Posts
February 11 2009 00:41 GMT
#13
Wow, just alt+qq. Oh wait, you can't because you removed them. I also see that your brother is so good he only needs 3 hotkeys and no F-hotkeys. He also manually clicks icon to build except arbiters and gateways. Show this to Tasteless and tell him to add your segment on his keyboard guide.
4.0 GPA = A rank 5.0 GPA = Olympic --------- Bisu, Best, Fantasy. i ♥ oov. They can get in my BoxeR anyday.
s.a.y
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
Croatia3840 Posts
February 11 2009 00:41 GMT
#14
G for gateways?

wheres Z for zealots?
I am not good with quotes
Osmoses
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
Sweden5302 Posts
February 11 2009 00:42 GMT
#15
Just typing 1a2a3a was getting old so he resorted to visual stimulation. This is not trolling, this is artistry.
Excuse me hun, but what is your name? Vivian? I woke up next to you naked and, uh, did we, um?
Jonoman92
Profile Blog Joined September 2006
United States9111 Posts
February 11 2009 00:46 GMT
#16
Lool epic build-up...
daz
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
Canada643 Posts
February 11 2009 00:48 GMT
#17
this was funny











in 2007. 1/5
Some eat to remember, some smash to forget. 2009msl.com
3clipse
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
Canada2555 Posts
February 11 2009 00:49 GMT
#18
Whoa, clever punchline bro.
Ingenol
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States1328 Posts
February 11 2009 00:54 GMT
#19
On February 11 2009 09:37 Fontong wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 11 2009 09:35 Ra.Xor.2 wrote:
... U were that guy who made the thread about wet dicks too right...

yeah but that one was funny

Unintentionally so.
Tensai176
Profile Blog Joined March 2007
Canada2061 Posts
February 11 2009 00:54 GMT
#20
I thought this was supposed to be a secret?

o_O
We see things they'll never see
1 2 3 4 5 6 Next All
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
PSISTORM Gaming Misc
02:00
FSL season 12 opener: HM vs ST
Liquipedia
AI Arena Tournament
02:00
RO4
IntoTheTV X SOOP
20:00
Premier - Quarterfinals
TaKeTV 430
LiquipediaDiscussion
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
EmSc Tv 16
EnDerr 7
StarCraft: Brood War
Dewaltoss 182
ZZZero.O 54
Hyun 52
Dota 2
420jenkins349
Heroes of the Storm
Grubby2844
Liquid`Hasu387
Other Games
tarik_tv6401
B2W.Neo1657
FrodaN675
PiGStarcraft288
Fuzer 246
Pyrionflax111
XaKoH 100
NeuroSwarm90
Mew2King55
Railgan27
Chillindude24
Organizations
Other Games
EGCTV1094
gamesdonequick595
BasetradeTV158
Counter-Strike
PGL84
StarCraft 2
EmSc Tv 16
EmSc2Tv 16
[ Show 16 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• StrangeGG 84
• printf 69
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• Migwel
StarCraft: Brood War
• Pr0nogo 4
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
League of Legends
• Nemesis2291
• Jankos1782
Other Games
• imaqtpie970
• WagamamaTV392
• Shiphtur387
Upcoming Events
IntoTheTV X SOOP
14h 40m
IPSL
20h 40m
Azhi_Dahaki vs ggnore13
Double vs WIZARD
Replay Cast
1d 2h
Replay Cast
2 days
Sparkling Tuna Cup
2 days
WardiTV Invitational
2 days
YoungYakov vs Lambo
SHIN vs TBD
Percival vs Shameless
Solar vs TBD
PiGosaur Cup
3 days
The PondCast
4 days
KCM Race Survival
4 days
WardiTV Invitational
4 days
[ Show More ]
CranKy Ducklings
6 days
IPSL
6 days
TerrOr vs IJ_Terran
rasowy vs Hazorath
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Proleague 2026-11-05
Blizzard Classic Cup 2026
HCC Season 3

Ongoing

Acropolis #5
KCM Race Survival 2026 Season 4
International ShieldBattery League
BSL Season 23
IPSL Winter 2026-27
Calamity Cup Div. A Season 8
IEM Beijing 2026
PGL Masters Bucharest 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 5
1win Private Club #2
Thunderpick World Champ. '26
ESL Pro League Season 24
Stake Ranked Episode 4
1win Private Club #1
Logitech G Play Connect 2026
SL StarSeries Fall 2026
FISSURE Playground #3
BLAST Open Fall 2026

Upcoming

Sector 951
SC4ALL II: Brood War
BSL 23: Non-Korean Championship
HSC XXX
Stellar Fest 2: Lunar Cup
SC4ALL II: StarCraft II
Kung Fu Cup 2026 Grand Finals
RSL Offline Finals
Underdog Cup 2026 Div 2-3
PGL Bucharest 2027
BLAST Bounty Winter 2027
eXTREMESLAND 2026
PGL Major Singapore 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 6
BLAST Rivals Fall 2026
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2026 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.