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Korea (South)17174 Posts
Oh if they only knew how selfless I am. The countless numbers of girls I have talked up on any given night and had ready to come back to my place by 2 A.M. But I never did it because I felt obligated to pay and stay till the end to take care of my minions making sure their service is good and don't get bad mannered in any way and get home safely + have best chances w/ girls.
This sacrifice has cost me many beautiful women and instead caused me to have several wake ups 'oh god fuck fuck why did I drink until 7 am again ugh fuck fuck hangover fuck who is this fucking swamp donkey next to me NOOOOOOO I DID IT AGAIN NOOOO FUCK ok fuck it plan b. i'll go play starcraft till she leaves!!!'
Oh the prices I pay, for being the Lord of the Night.
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playing devil's advocate:
Arguably, theres no "doing things out of the goodness of your heart for the sake of being good." Because the act of kindness in itself makes you feel good and is in turn a type of reward. So its possible to say that people only do kind things just to feel good. So bad people are selfish and good people are selfish too, all that matters is the action and not the intentions.
Shoveling snow for your neighbor is a good thing, asking for money is just knowing your self worth. He/she also has the freedom to thank you in other ways rather than paying you. Or perhaps in giving you money they felt good about the act of giving itself. so maybe you did ANOTHER good thing by asking for cash.
On the opposite side of the coin, Hitler's actions could have been self justified by his intentions to "clean the human race." Thats good intentions but bad action. And congrats, his name is now used as an example for the world's most detestable human being. ever.
If you're always guessing at people's bad intentions, the world would look like a very beak place indeed. Look elsewhere at more beautiful things instead, or just stop giving a fuck about what other people are thinking.
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United States22883 Posts
If your goal is to get laid, being an asshole is the better route to go.
Most of the things I do are simply because they should be done, and I'm usually very cognizant of other people. I try to avoid attention and reward for it when possible, but I don't do it to a point where it's too detrimental to my own success; I can usually make both work.
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On January 28 2009 20:16 Chef wrote: What I believe now, is that 'selflessness' comes with an apathy toward life.
I think what you described after this definition is different to having apathy toward life. Perhaps, an ability to see past your own personal struggles and thoughts. Being apathetic toward life would mean you didn't give a shit if someone were struggling etc.
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Rekrul's first post on this is actually the first post from him that isn't about drinking and girls but the other ones do. However, all of them are good examples of his intentions. The reason why I posted this was because I was reading some bible study questions and it said something like how can you demonstrate pure love, without intentions? The point of this isn't religious really but I guess in reality there is almost no way to do things without a reward, be it some physical or mental type of thing.
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On January 29 2009 02:29 HamerD wrote:Show nested quote +On January 28 2009 20:16 Chef wrote: What I believe now, is that 'selflessness' comes with an apathy toward life. I think what you described after this definition is different to having apathy toward life. Perhaps, an ability to see past your own personal struggles and thoughts. Being apathetic toward life would mean you didn't give a shit if someone were struggling etc. Apathy to your own life. As in, one who doesn't care whether he or she lives or dies. Not apathy toward all living things.
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On January 29 2009 03:06 il0seonpurpose wrote: Rekrul's first post on this is actually the first post from him that isn't about drinking and girls but the other ones do. However, all of them are good examples of his intentions. The reason why I posted this was because I was reading some bible study questions and it said something like how can you demonstrate pure love, without intentions? The point of this isn't religious really but I guess in reality there is almost no way to do things without a reward, be it some physical or mental type of thing. I would tell the person who asked that question that all religious people (who believe in judgement and an afterlife) have no way of being selfless because everything they do is for their own afterlife. Religions ask a lot of stupid questions. If you want brownie points from whoever asked you the question, that is religious, just tell them something like what Ragnorak said "helping people when no one will know I did" type of thing. Or helping people without asking anything in return. It's an inaccurate answer, but it will make them happy As soon as helping someone makes you feel good, you can't say it was entirely for them. It was for both of you (and why shouldn't you do things for yourself?).
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Cayman Islands24199 Posts
that is too simplistic a view of theistic thought. heaven may be an incidental reward, not the instrumental end of all action. taking the goal of christianity as 'getting into heaven' would be missing out on a whole lot
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One book that addresses this is Kierkegaard's "Works of Love". I found the language to be very dense and headache inducing (maybe because of translation) but he really examines ruthlessly what it means to love others regardless of what they have to offer you. He says its a very difficult thing to do and I agree. Like you I find myself questioning feelings I may initially call "selfless". Like I'll find myself feeling really caring and generous toward some beautiful girl and I think, would I feel the same thing if her exterior were instead some ugly male? The answer is no, and I feel like a lot of the pain in my life is self inflicted because of this highly discriminating attitude.
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
On January 29 2009 03:06 il0seonpurpose wrote: Rekrul's first post on this is actually the first post from him that isn't about drinking and girls but the other ones do. However, all of them are good examples of his intentions. The reason why I posted this was because I was reading some bible study questions and it said something like how can you demonstrate pure love, without intentions? The point of this isn't religious really but I guess in reality there is almost no way to do things without a reward, be it some physical or mental type of thing.
what are my intentions
i could talk about other things but thats just no fun LOL
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Rekrul do you share how you are not really having fun in those night clubs in real life with your friends? Cause if i am your friend and I know you are not having fun, rather, simply fulfilling your duty as a friend so that I can have fun as you watching over me, I would rather drag you off somewhere else where both you and me can have fun together. like poker or starcraft for example.
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I used to tell myself that I didn't give a shit about what people thought of me, but I later realized that I wasn't being honest with myself. The only way to remedy the way my life had been running, was to pretty much just be totally blunt with everyone in my life. This stemmed from my detest towards people that act one way around one group of people and totally different around another.
I'll hold a door for pretty much anybody, because that's just what society/my parents taught me was the right thing to do. Something as simple as that doesn't really make me think too much, because I would act no differently if a hot girl was walking through the door then if a fat chick was. What am i gonna do, slam it in her face? Like some other people mentioned here, I think much of what we do as humans is to just maintain... sort of an equilibrium. If you try and convince yourself that you're only holding doors for people for your own personal gain, and you STOP holding doors for the people that you normally would, you'll disrupt that sense of normalcy, which might lead to strange looks, or even more complicated shit that you probably would rather not be involved in anyways.
Also, the fact that most of us HAVE been brought up to show common courtesy to one another, is one of the main reasons why discussions like this will probably never change how you act. To elaborate, if you read this thread and decide to completely alter your lifestyle, all the friendships and relationships that you've built are going to falter because of a change that you're making, of which you aren't even sure of the desired outcome. Thus, most of us continue to hold doors for people, simply because it's what we're used to, and it would be even more difficult to explain to someone why you suddenly started slamming the door in their face. It's almost like... you try and make a change in your life to make yourself more honest, but somehow, that change has a negative affect on all those around you, making you out to be a selfish bastard. Fuck.
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
On January 29 2009 05:13 rei wrote: Rekrul do you share how you are not really having fun in those night clubs in real life with your friends? Cause if i am your friend and I know you are not having fun, rather, simply fulfilling your duty as a friend so that I can have fun as you watching over me, I would rather drag you off somewhere else where both you and me can have fun together. like poker or starcraft for example.
lol...........
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actually Rekrul is just being a bro. A really good bro, JUMPING ON THE GRENADE FOR HIS BRO'S. God damn what a hero.
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On January 28 2009 19:19 HamerD wrote: Cool, I've been thinking about this almost all my life lol. The basic and most important premise is that most of life is about engaging with life and playing the game of life. Most of reality is about playing ball, if you want to get much out of it.
There are a lot of irritatingly base things that people do without realising how base they are, and trying to dress them up as the actions of a higher being; where other species in the animal kingdom have been doing them for millions of years.
As to your basic concept it seems to be dissecting selfishness and selflessness. In my opinion, unless you are insane, you will never do an act without an intended positive outcome. All rational, unencumbered people do what they intend. Whether the outcome benefits anyone else depends on what sort of a person you are.
If you are a 'selfless' person per se, you will probably derive some sort of satisfaction and sense of pride from helping people (but there are endless reasons); and the cost of a small service in exchange for the personal reward of these feelings will always seem like a good proposition. Contrarily, if you are a 'selfish' person, these actions yield you very little enjoyment (but there are endless possible reasons too).
The issue is very complex in morality. Each situation calls for a separate analysis. Depending on the person, their moralities and personal boundaries of altruism can be very flexible; changing from person to person (ie attractive girls being treated differently to fat ones; or personalities they like different to ones they don't).
Essentially, all humans are self-serving, but because not all humans enjoy the same things, you can't all group them together into the same category of self-serving.
More after classes ^^
I like what you said.
But...you seem to be saying it basically depends on how cynical you are, no?
haha.
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