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Japan: Day 7, Part 2

Blogs > DJEtterStyle
Post a Reply
DJEtterStyle
Profile Blog Joined October 2003
United States2766 Posts
December 29 2008 02:27 GMT
#1
A few innings into the baseball game between Yokohama and Hiroshima, I concluded that the Japanese know how to play ball. And it was the kind of baseball I love. After a single to opposite field, the next batter would dutifully bunt the runner into scoring position—or the team would attempt a stolen base. Even after tapping an easy ground ball to the shortstop, players sprinted towards first base, not slowing down until the umpire called them out. These were players with an appreciation for and understanding of the game. To them, baseball was about more than home runs and strikeouts. It was about shifting the outfield ever so slightly before an outside pitch, fouling off enough pitches to earn a walk, and much more.

[image loading]

Hiroshima before the game.

[image loading]

The stadium.

The fans were rabid. In the United States, the common chant of “DE-FENSE” tends to start strong and fade to nothing after a minute or two. “The Wave” might last a couple of revolutions around the stadium. But the Japanese fans had intricate, synchronized cheers that did not stop until the end of the inning. Foot stomps, thigh slaps, claps, shouts, fist pumps—these cheers were not simple affairs. A brass band in left field led the proceedings. As with the fans, their dedication and stamina was incredible. Surely, I thought, they will stop playing with such enthusiasm after a half hour or so. If anything, they seemed louder and more determined as the innings wore on.

[image loading]

The stadium.

To me, a baseball game is not complete without an ice-cold lager. I was prepared to open my wallet; in the United States, a tiny plastic cup of beer at a baseball game can cost as much as $7. I flagged down an extremely fit young man who was carrying at least five gallons of beer in an insulated backpack. 32 ounces of draft beer set me back a cool $6.50—quite refreshing.

I was especially excited for the seventh inning stretch. I doubted anything could be as hilarious as 20,000 Japanese fans singing “Take Me out to the Ball Game.” I was wrong. Something could indeed be more hilarious.

When the seventh inning arrived, at least half of the fans in the stadium inflated—and there is no other way to describe them—four-foot-long, penis-shaped balloons. With bulbous tips. I was left speechless as I gazed out upon a veritable sea of flesh-colored schlongs being held at rapt attention. Suddenly, the crowd let their balloons fly. Try, if you can, to imagine 10,000 penises simultaneously rising through the air, going flaccid, and falling back to earth. I wanted nothing more than to turn to a friend and ask, “Am I losing my mind, or did that honestly just happen?”

After the game, I went for a walk around the city. Still feeling a bit too timid to visit a bar, I checked out an internet cafe nestled amongst the neon. $10 netted me a private cubicle for three hours. The cubicle had a locking door, a modern computer, a Playstation 2, a small desk with a reading lamp, and a comfortable bean bag chair. All-I-could-drink beverages, everything from coffee to Slurpees, and a library of manga were just a few feet away. After all the walking, sightseeing, and yes, drinking, I needed a bit of downtime. The internet cafe was perfect. I nestled into the bean bag and tried to figure out where to go next.

*****
Manifesto7
Profile Blog Joined November 2002
Osaka27159 Posts
December 29 2008 02:33 GMT
#2
I was especially excited for the seventh inning stretch. I doubted anything could be as hilarious as 20,000 Japanese fans singing “Take Me out to the Ball Game.” I was wrong. Something could indeed be more hilarious.

When the seventh inning arrived, at least half of the fans in the stadium inflated—and there is no other way to describe them—four-foot-long, penis-shaped balloons. With bulbous tips. I was left speechless as I gazed out upon a veritable sea of flesh-colored schlongs being held at rapt attention. Suddenly, the crowd let their balloons fly. Try, if you can, to imagine 10,000 penises simultaneously rising through the air, going flaccid, and falling back to earth. I wanted nothing more than to turn to a friend and ask, “Am I losing my mind, or did that honestly just happen?”


Yep. Nothing like a 10,000 person condom bukkake to get everyone excited for the last couple innings. I still think it is the most hilarious thing ever.

Glad you had such a good time, I'm enjoying each installment.
ModeratorGodfather
GTR
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
51543 Posts
December 29 2008 02:35 GMT
#3
Aren't those 'penis shaped balloons' those thundersticks they use at PL/OSL/MSL finals?
Commentator
DJEtterStyle
Profile Blog Joined October 2003
United States2766 Posts
December 29 2008 02:39 GMT
#4
On December 29 2008 11:35 GTR-2-Go wrote:
Aren't those 'penis shaped balloons' those thundersticks they use at PL/OSL/MSL finals?

No, these weren't sealed, and the material was lighter. They were designed, as far as I could tell, to fly gracefully upward with a certain odd degree of festive cheer.
PanoRaMa
Profile Blog Joined June 2003
United States5069 Posts
December 29 2008 02:45 GMT
#5
the return of the BEST BLOG ON TEAM LIQUID
DJEtterStyle
Profile Blog Joined October 2003
United States2766 Posts
December 29 2008 03:06 GMT
#6
On December 29 2008 11:45 PanoRaMa wrote:
the return of the BEST BLOG ON TEAM LIQUID

Stay tuned. In approximately seven years, when I get up to Day 15, Panorama is the star. He... he showed me how to win stuffed hamsters on the UFO Catcher machines in Tokyo. I'll never forget... not ever...
H
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
New Zealand6138 Posts
December 29 2008 03:06 GMT
#7
On December 29 2008 11:45 PanoRaMa wrote:
the return of the BEST BLOG ON TEAM LIQUID


word

very good read (as per usual)
[iHs]HCO | のヮの | pachi & plexa ownz | RIP _
ilovezil
Profile Blog Joined August 2006
United States4143 Posts
December 30 2008 21:49 GMT
#8
EpicJapanQuestEtterStyle.

Loving this series, keep them coming!
Fishball
Profile Joined December 2005
Canada4788 Posts
December 31 2008 00:57 GMT
#9
Where are the pictures of the penis balloons?!
靈魂交響曲
FakeSteve[TPR]
Profile Blog Joined July 2003
Valhalla18444 Posts
December 31 2008 02:28 GMT
#10
imposter
Moderatormy tatsu loops r fuckin nice
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