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Chef's Tips!: Episode One -Peach Cake Thing

Blogs > Chef
Post a Reply
Chef
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
10810 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-11-09 00:14:22
November 08 2008 19:57 GMT
#1
Heyguys,ChefherebringingyouanotherChef'sTipsFirstPersonCookingblog!

+ Show Spoiler [Background music] +


It's the first day of rain in November, and as is Canadian tradition, I will not be wearing pants today. I'll spare you the photographic proof, as I suspect there are many people intolerant of my Canadian heritage.

I've decided to start doing a cooking blog thing. For our first kitchen concoction we're going to do something really, really fucking easy. Like... I'd say even your grandma could do it, but in this case, it's more appropriate to say even your father-who-burns-fucking-everything could do it if he just followed the really simple instructions... So awaaaay we go:

First off, you need the ingredients, right? Almost all of these you should always have stocked in your house... Or at least, in your mother's house. The only thing you might need to go out and buy is canned peaches (you can get just peaches if you want, but then you have to cut them, and I know you're too lazy for that).

Okay,

Ingredients

1 cup all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/8 teaspoon of salt
1/2 cup of unsalted butter
3/4 cup of sugar
2 large eggs
A can of peaches (preferably slices, but halves are okay too)
Some ground cinnamon

[image loading]

Delicious, delicious ingrendients. Note butter is already in one of the bowls.

Okay, so you've got your ingredients all set out, next you've got to prioritize your tasks. The very first thing you should do is get the butter out of the fridge. The warmer it gets, the easier it'll be to work with later, so just get that out of the way. Since the butter wasn't frozen like a rock this time, I just cut it into the large bowl right away.

One half cup of butter into the large bowl

[image loading]

AHHHHHHHGGG!

Before you put the left over butter away, you'll want to grease your 9 inch diameter pan with the butter. This will ensure your cake doesn't stick to the pan when you try to serve it later. You can either use the inside of the butter wrapper, or you can go nuts and just use the butter.

Grease the pan with butter.
[image loading]


[image loading]


[image loading]

GREEEASSSE IT! GREEEEASSSE IT YOU SLAVE BUTTER!

[image loading]

Don't do this. It's probably bad for your skin.

Okay, so you've got the butter done... Just put away what's left over and leave the butter in that bowl for a bit. We'll get back to it later.

Next you're going to want to mix the dry ingredients. These are: Flour, Baking powder, and salt. Put these all in the small bowl. Give the bowl a good shake to mix the ingredients.

1 cup of all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon of baking powder
1/8th teaspoon of salt


[image loading]

Flour is serious business

[image loading]

Baking powder is an intriguing element

[image loading]

Measure salt carefully, and look dangerous and sexy while doing it

[image loading]

Hah! Hah! Haaah!

+ Show Spoiler [MSN is fun... :)] +
[17:42] Jeff E: what's on your picture there?
[17:44] Jeff E: yo biaaatch!!!
[17:47] Ed: it's me, cooking in the kitchen
[17:48] Jeff E: wtf are you wearing?
[17:48] Ed: clothes, mostly
[17:48] Ed: maybe some soap suds
[17:48] Jeff E: (staring at the picture from different angles with squinty eyes)
[17:49] Jeff E: it looks like your wearing a bird costume
[17:52] Ed: that's just how I look on Saturdays
[17:53] *** "Jeff E" signed off at Sun Nov 02 17:53:48 2008.
[17:53] *** "Jeff E" signed on at Sun Nov 02 17:53:49 2008.
[17:54] Jeff E: hhmm. I guess I've never seen you on Saturday. Is that kind of like how you always used to look like giant pickle in space suit on wednesdays?
[17:55] Ed: that was before I had the operation, but yes
[17:58] Jeff E: I actually just got a magnifying glass to get a better look at that picture. Why a giant bird?
[17:58] Jeff E: dare I ask...
[18:00] Ed: why a hand, or a foot?
[18:00] Ed: I don't know jeff
[18:00] Ed: it's just evolution
[18:02] Jeff E: Hhmmm. Yes come to think of it I remember seing a picture of the evolution of man. It went: Monkey, man crouching, man slightly more erect, donkey, big hairy man, chicken, homo sapien.


[image loading]

Powder!

Alright, let's get back to the butter.

We need to pour sugar into the bowl with the butter... So just do it.

3/4 cup of sugar in large bowl

[image loading]

Looks kinda like milk, but believe me, that's sugar.

Alright, time to bring out the power tools... It's mother fucking blender time.

Blend butter until fluffy...

[image loading]

Light and fluffy! About as gay as you'll feel while cooking

Okay... Now you need to beat in the eggs... Make sure you don't get any shell into the mixture; if you have to, just crack the eggs beforehand into another bowl, so that you can fish out those shameful stray egg shells.

Beat in two eggs, one at a time

[image loading]

Creamy? I don't know

Now you want to add in your dry ingredients from your small bowl... That flour, baking powder, and salt thing. Blend them in until just combined... That means don't overdo it. Use picture for reference

Blend in dry ingredients

[image loading]

See?

Now put dat shit in der 9 inch pan, Dantone! Then spread it fine.

[image loading]

OOOOO! FREAK THAT BITCH OUT, DANTONE!

Okay. Now is a good time to set that oven to start preheating... You want it to be at 350, but if you have a normal oven, that's going to take awhile, so just do it now.

Preheat oven to 350

[image loading]

350 F

Okay... While that's heating up, you should get on the peaches now... Basically you just want to spread them over your mix thing, maybe make a cool design. I only had peach halves around, so it looks pretty boring and dumb, but it'll still tastes good... After you put those all around, sprinkle the ground cinnamon over it. It kinda doesn't look that good in this picture, but believe me, it smells good.

Top with peaches and cinnamon

[image loading]

Don't worry... the peach juice is a good thing

Okay... You're basically done. If the oven isn't 350 yet, start putting shit away, and just pop in the pan when it is. It's a good idea to put a tray under the pan, in case it overflows for some dumb reason. While you wait for it to cook... Go masturbate or something. That's what I usually do.

Put in oven for 40 minutes, or until a fork pressed into it comes out dry

[image loading]

Delicious

Enjoy, but believe me, after about the 3rd time you make this, you'll be sick of it. That's why you will need to read my next Chef's Tips! for more cooking adventure!

Cheers, I'm off to make a White Russian...

***
LEGEND!! LEGEND!!
statix
Profile Blog Joined October 2004
United States1760 Posts
November 08 2008 20:02 GMT
#2
you need [/img] at the end of that last pic
SCC-Caliban
alffla
Profile Blog Joined November 2005
Hong Kong20321 Posts
November 08 2008 20:02 GMT
#3
wow aewaomse ahhah what do u call this?!

pEACHES I LIKEeeeee
Graphicssavior[gm] : What is a “yawn” rape ;; Masumune - It was the year of the pig for those fucking defilers. Chill - A clinic you say? okum: SC without Korean yelling is like porn without sex. konamix: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY!
statix
Profile Blog Joined October 2004
United States1760 Posts
November 08 2008 20:04 GMT
#4
there you go...damn that looks pretty good
SCC-Caliban
Mikilatov
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
United States3897 Posts
November 08 2008 20:05 GMT
#5
Jesus christ. That's like. Final edit material. rofl. =P
♥ I used to lasso the shit out of your tournaments =( ♥ | Much is my hero. | zizi yO~ | Be Nice, TL.
Elvin_vn
Profile Blog Joined March 2004
Vietnam2038 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-11-08 20:12:24
November 08 2008 20:05 GMT
#6
omg looking at that last pic makes me go HUNGRY

5/5 !!!!!!!!!!

+ Show Spoiler +

[image loading]

LOL
do not agrue with idiots, they will pull you down to their level and beat you with their experiences
Heyoka
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
Katowice25012 Posts
November 08 2008 20:16 GMT
#7
I'm going to draw faces on all my butter from now on
@RealHeyoka | ESL / DreamHack StarCraft Lead
Empyrean
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
16978 Posts
November 08 2008 20:17 GMT
#8
I love reading cooking blogs/watching cooking shows, so this is just super cool

Also.

"While you wait for it to cook... Go masturbate or something. That's what I usually do."

lulz
Moderator
-slo.m1ke-
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
Slovenia352 Posts
November 08 2008 20:18 GMT
#9
i thought u gonna make cookies _:<
Chef
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
10810 Posts
November 08 2008 20:20 GMT
#10
[image loading]


Num, num. I feel like such a baller drinking from my "G" glass.
LEGEND!! LEGEND!!
MuShu
Profile Joined March 2005
United States3223 Posts
November 08 2008 20:21 GMT
#11
Lol, mapmaking -> cooking?
Fontong
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
United States6454 Posts
November 08 2008 20:26 GMT
#12
Lawl shit, this is huge. Btw, my dad is such a better cook than my mom so I don't think that stereotype works out.

Gotta try this in my dorm lol.
[SECRET FONT] "Dragoon bunker"
zulu_nation8
Profile Blog Joined May 2005
China26351 Posts
November 08 2008 20:28 GMT
#13
can you teach me how to oven grill various meats?
micronesia
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States24666 Posts
November 08 2008 20:42 GMT
#14
I'm not making this because I don't want to get fat. Screw you.
ModeratorThere are animal crackers for people and there are people crackers for animals.
Chef
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
10810 Posts
November 09 2008 00:10 GMT
#15
Don't worry, Chef's Tips! episode two will have a much healthier, yet equally delicious, cooking challenge.
LEGEND!! LEGEND!!
food
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States1951 Posts
November 09 2008 00:15 GMT
#16
lets cook something complex next time
Can someone ban this guy please? FA?
BlackJack
Profile Blog Joined June 2003
United States10438 Posts
November 09 2008 00:27 GMT
#17
you should have sliced into it and taken more pics
Insane Lane
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
United States397 Posts
November 09 2008 05:02 GMT
#18
Is this how you make pies in general? Just like... put in apples for instance instead of peaches?
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