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Yo these two girls are coming to my house tomorrow because my family is having a picnic and I decided I need to score with the ladies and what other way to look brootal than to smoke? I don't have any illegal substances and I don't have a blunt so I need help to organize materials so I can woo these two fine ladies into my bed.
I have in my possession some very fine Lipton decaffeinated naturally 105mg protective antioxidants naturally per serving 100% natural tea see back for details in my hand as we speak. I also have some matches straight from a box where I have to swipe what seems to be a color-coded surface to produce a flame. I however do not have that thing where I put my tea in to smoke. What household item can I use to put this brilliant idea together TL? These girls need to see me pimped out... not a lonely Starcraft player.
 
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is awesome32277 Posts
OMG are you serious LOL
Man you are not going to "look cool". Specially if you smoking tea. AND THEY WILL RELEASE ITS TEA SINCE IT FUCKING SMELLS LIKE IT.
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United States11393 Posts
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United States20661 Posts
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On July 05 2008 11:17 Falcynn wrote:
5/5
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United States43203 Posts
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Belgium9949 Posts
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1584 Posts
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LOL
Edit: I couldn't even hit the reply button i was laughing so hard.
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United States22883 Posts
LOL.
Lipton's All-Natural is where it's at, man.
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I actually wanna try hahaha
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This is why shock love faust <3
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United States24740 Posts
Gasoline has gone up in price but it smells good.
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I've heard smoking tea burns holes in your lungs but i don't know if it's true though
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On July 05 2008 12:07 reki- wrote:
I've heard smoking tea burns holes in your lungs but i don't know if it's true though
Epic first post
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United States43203 Posts
On July 05 2008 12:09 DamageControL wrote:Show nested quote +On July 05 2008 12:07 reki- wrote:
I've heard smoking tea burns holes in your lungs but i don't know if it's true though Epic first post
Man is from the Netherlands. Trust him when it comes to smoking tea.
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is awesome32277 Posts
i feel bad for going apeshit on you.
voted 5/5
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<3 Faust
It's simple really tear open the little tea packet and roll it up using some torn to size paper towel or toilet paper. Then light end on fire and smoke!
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I have in my possession some very fine Lipton decaffeinated naturally 105mg protective antioxidants naturally per serving 100% natural tea see back for details in my hand as we speak.
LOL
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when i was at archeological training camp, the local store ran outa cigarettes. So people been smoking tea everywhere, just to cease the cravings. Its nothing new. Another thing - u are going to smell it. So whole pretend-to-be-cool idea seems pretty dumb. And who is going to be impressed anyways. Its like - get a life or something.
edit: haha using toilet paper to smoke tea - thats some gourmet shit right there  U ever tried smoking anything with toilet paper( newspaper w/e)? Its gona tear your throat up
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On July 05 2008 12:36 Jonoman92 wrote:
<3 Faust
It's simple really tear open the little tea packet and roll it up using some torn to size paper towel or toilet paper. Then light end on fire and smoke!
I just got tea leaves all over my fucking bed.
I used school paper, I tore a small piece, put like half the shit from the tea bag in it (I cupped it in a cylinder), I closed it, and I held it up to place it up to my mouth to get the feeling and now I'm screwed.
Edit: Okay fuck this Arco your no help. I tried again and the tea leaves slid into my mouth. Tastes like shit. I'm done with your advice.
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Ah, first you need to learn how to roll a joint.
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Boil it and breathe the steam.
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LOL! forget trying to smoke tea out of toilet paper...i think that's only going to hurt your chances with the ladies...
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United States24740 Posts
Okay here is my advice:
1) Clean up the mess completely.
2) Get rid of that shit
3) Stop being an idiot
4) Come over to the awesome table
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ur actually serious?
omfg
this is amazing
there are way better ways to trick the girls into thinking ur cool
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wtf. last time i checked, starcraft is the fucking cooling shit ever. show them some vods and let them watch you play. they'll be all over you before you know it. 
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just ask em if they've ever seen a trouser snake
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ROFL
just give 'em alcohol.
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MAKE A CORNCOB PIPE = SOLUTION.
SMOKE TEA IN A PIPE = HUGE TURN ON FOR GIRLS.
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If you have a holy bible open at and take out the first page, dont just rip out a corner thats stupid. Then fold it in half and half and half and half till it is the desired size of your joint (1 fold is optimal), unfold it all the way and tear along the lines of one of your squares. Place the "material" in the newly made joint paper and roll it. If you dont know how to roll a J then your kinda screwed my friend since your first one is bound to have kinds of stuff that isnt smoke coming out of both ends, and you will look like stork without goon range. Good luck mate even though this might be late, you could possibly swoon them tomorrow or some crazy shit.
Btw this is a really bad idea in general and I highly doubt it will generate any fornication, by you any way.
On July 05 2008 13:05 SCC-Faust wrote:Here is my failed attempts. Any advice to fix this? + Show Spoiler +
omfg lawl lawllawlawllawl omfg. Sorry that was bad but this is so fucking hilarious dude, you have never rolled anything in your life. Here is a quick guide on how to roll your tea leave cigarette.
1. Take your paper (see guide) and fold it in half so there is a crease down the middle.
2.Place contents in crease evenly and pack it down LIGHTLY with your finger.
3. Pinch the corners of the paper at the top and gently roll it in your fingers, keep the paper straight damnit dont actually roll it yet.
4. Once the material reaches desired shape pinch the paper at the ends just above the material. Then use your thumbs to pull the front side down and push the top side up with your fingers.
5. Fold the corners in on the bottom side while keeping the top side straight. Then roll the material up like a dead body in a rug, most people know how to do that.
6. Lick the small edge that is left on the top side and firmly cement that mother fucker down. This is hard with bible paper and may take a few tries, but honestly ur probably fucked anyway.
Even if you manage to master this technique (which will be very hard since my guide is very limited) which takes years to master for most people. Do you really assume that smoking is a huge turn on for these here women? Come on dude most women think that shit is disgusting, i know i smoke a pack a day. Not to mention this conversation ensueing:
You: Hey ladies whats cracking!?
Girls: O hey whats up?
You: Not much just chilling about to smoke up this (insert what ever you thought up) to celebrate our kick ass country!
Girls: Of thats cool, I am not really that into smoking stuff but whatever.
You: Well shit dont you know that smoking is one of the coolest things you can do.
(You now light up your "school paper" joint/cigg)
You: See dont I look fucking cool?
Girl: What the fuck? Is that notebook paper?
You: Ah hell nah this is the latest blueberry stripe paper, its like that zebra gum shit but for older dudes.
Girl: What the fuck.....
You: Damn this shit is really good you sure you dont want some?
Girl: Let me see that....
(you then hand her your cig cuz otherwise your fucked)
Girl: This is not even (substance) this is fuckin tea leaves, are you retarded or something?
You: Uh... Fuck.... Yes? (Lack of better answer available)
(you now exit the scene as fast as possibe and 4 pool some unsuspecting "1v1 Only D- Im P" guy on iccup)
Gl anyway ill give you a 5/5 since this thread provided me so much entertainment.
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man up and go buy dank, smoking tea will just make those girls think you are a faggot
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I been seeing a lot of Sp1ralArch1tect on gg.net, thought the moderation here was better then that. The guy never ceased to amaze me.
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you realize he isnt a tl.net mod right? he just posts, and even if his post was dumb there are lots of stupid posts on tl, this blog for example
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HAHAHA
Man, Thank you for this.
5/5
Keep us updated on how this goes.
Edit: hmmm go buy rolling papers? or maybe since you don't know how to roll a joint, go get a cigarillo w/ the tip and squeeze the tobacco out and stuff it with the tea. You wouldn't have to "roll" it this way. lmao.
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On July 05 2008 15:53 Sp1ralArch1tect wrote:If you have a holy bible open at and take out the first page, dont just rip out a corner thats stupid. Then fold it in half and half and half and half till it is the desired size of your joint (1 fold is optimal), unfold it all the way and tear along the lines of one of your squares. Place the "material" in the newly made joint paper and roll it. If you dont know how to roll a J then your kinda screwed my friend since your first one is bound to have kinds of stuff that isnt smoke coming out of both ends, and you will look like stork without goon range. Good luck mate even though this might be late, you could possibly swoon them tomorrow or some crazy shit. Btw this is a really bad idea in general and I highly doubt it will generate any fornication, by you any way. omfg lawl lawllawlawllawl omfg. Sorry that was bad but this is so fucking hilarious dude, you have never rolled anything in your life. Here is a quick guide on how to roll your tea leave cigarette. 1. Take your paper (see guide) and fold it in half so there is a crease down the middle. 2.Place contents in crease evenly and pack it down LIGHTLY with your finger. 3. Pinch the corners of the paper at the top and gently roll it in your fingers, keep the paper straight damnit dont actually roll it yet. 4. Once the material reaches desired shape pinch the paper at the ends just above the material. Then use your thumbs to pull the front side down and push the top side up with your fingers. 5. Fold the corners in on the bottom side while keeping the top side straight. Then roll the material up like a dead body in a rug, most people know how to do that. 6. Lick the small edge that is left on the top side and firmly cement that mother fucker down. This is hard with bible paper and may take a few tries, but honestly ur probably fucked anyway. Even if you manage to master this technique (which will be very hard since my guide is very limited) which takes years to master for most people. Do you really assume that smoking is a huge turn on for these here women? Come on dude most women think that shit is disgusting, i know i smoke a pack a day. Not to mention this conversation ensueing: You: Hey ladies whats cracking!? Girls: O hey whats up? You: Not much just chilling about to smoke up this (insert what ever you thought up) to celebrate our kick ass country! Girls: Of thats cool, I am not really that into smoking stuff but whatever. You: Well shit dont you know that smoking is one of the coolest things you can do. (You now light up your "school paper" joint/cigg) You: See dont I look fucking cool? Girl: What the fuck? Is that notebook paper? You: Ah hell nah this is the latest blueberry stripe paper, its like that zebra gum shit but for older dudes. Girl: What the fuck..... You: Damn this shit is really good you sure you dont want some? Girl: Let me see that.... (you then hand her your cig cuz otherwise your fucked) Girl: This is not even (substance) this is fuckin tea leaves, are you retarded or something? You: Uh... Fuck.... Yes? (Lack of better answer available) (you now exit the scene as fast as possibe and 4 pool some unsuspecting "1v1 Only D- Im P" guy on iccup) Gl anyway ill give you a 5/5 since this thread provided me so much entertainment.
LOL nice guide. OP+This and I'm still laughing.
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The OP's sig:
Any girls personal message me I'm really lonely.
Maybe the tea will help!
+ Show Spoiler +
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Wow this thread just keeps getting better and better. Trust me Faust, toilet paper tea joints are the answer.
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you need oregano, cinnamon and some bible pages.
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On July 05 2008 16:14 iakNab wrote:
Not.
I found my post informative and entertaining pertaining to this blog, I also found it superior to yours so what are you trying to say. I make a shitty post and I set a trend for all noobs like you to follow along?
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Spenguin
Australia3316 Posts
I wonder what is your motivation for this, surely it isn't just to "sleep" with two girls, although this isn't the way to do it. Good Luck.
+ Show Spoiler +
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I have in my possession some very fine Lipton decaffeinated naturally 105mg protective antioxidants naturally per serving 100% natural tea see back for details in my hand as we speak.
Lmaoooo, classic
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trolling way too obvious;
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...............why are there so many replies to this nonsense..
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On July 05 2008 20:27 Texas wrote:
trolling way too obvious;
Actually just the opposite, I was never joking in the first place.
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I'll post a video tonight explaining how to roll a joint! A tea joint at that!
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I had friends who smoked tea out of a bong... I passed cause I thought it was fucking stupid, but they seemed to be sort of enjoying it...
Just put your tea in boiling water, and let it steep for a bit. Then drink it, trust me, it's pretty good. Girls are into guys who drink their tea.
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LOL GO FOR THE MINT EACHNICEA FUCK THAT LIPTON PUSSY SHIT!
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Wow they never showed up. 
My mom is a dumb fat liar.
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She warned them ahead of time once she saw you scrambling to smoke tea.
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I laughed so hard for a long time reading the OP, then i read the OP a few more times due to the hilarity of the subject. I didn't know people actually smoked tea.
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what the fuck were you smoking when you came up with this idea?... oh wait...
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Just use the teabag dude, it's awesome ciggie paper. If you're hardcore you could smoke the whole bag at once, but there goes the day if you do, that shit'll fuck you right up.
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u gotta skate8152 Posts
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hahaha this shit ogt bumped
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In grade four to six me and a few friends used to go in my parents spice rack (grab like oregano) and then we took napkins and made fat blunts.
We'd smoke that shit on my roof. Good times.
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On December 01 2008 04:14 Showtime! wrote:
In grade four to six me and a few friends used to go in my parents spice rack (grab like oregano) and then we took napkins and made fat blunts.
We'd smoke that shit on my roof. Good times.
I used to sell oregano to kids who thought it was weed. Good times.
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On December 01 2008 06:06 Durak wrote:Show nested quote +On December 01 2008 04:14 Showtime! wrote:
In grade four to six me and a few friends used to go in my parents spice rack (grab like oregano) and then we took napkins and made fat blunts.
We'd smoke that shit on my roof. Good times. I used to sell oregano to kids who thought it was weed. Good times.
We sold a guy a can of horse shit once,he thought it was dip. After about 5 minutes of it in his mouth we told him D:
+ Show Spoiler +
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so I was looking for a "tea drinker's thread" similar to the "coffee drinker's thread" and other sorts and I stumbled upon this. Which, if I must say so my self... is comic genius, and I feel I would be doing a disservice to the "newer members" of the TL community if they were not able to see the hilarity of this thread[albeit it being 3 years old]. 5/5 from me definitely.
As for a tea drinker's thread I mentioned, I'll make one eventually.
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2nd Worst City in CA8938 Posts
Hahaha. I approve of this bump.
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Sounds addictive, procede with caution
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I thought this was a post by like some mid-life-crisis dad who really thought marijuana was still referred to as "tea" :|
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LOL hahahaha oh man, oh man....thanks so much for this bump LOL
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THANK YOU FOR BUMPING THIS
Almost fell out of my chair laughing.
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i got 9 varieties of tea I could "smoke" right now if I wanted to...
I got some of that
"ginger peach"
"passion fruit papaya"
"kiwi pear"
"bombegranate"
to name a few.
edit: maybe its just me, but I always talk about how much tea I drink etc and ppl always think I'm the biggest stoner ever. Does it really come across that way? I just like flavored water :X.
All of those are actually the tea flavors haha. except bombegranate, its pomegranate. I just read this thread fully a second time, so damn good.
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trolls like you make my day complete
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LOL this reminds me of my friend and I trying to sell tea as weed to some guy in our school when we were like 13.
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On June 14 2011 13:30 jello_biafra wrote:
LOL this reminds me of my friend and I trying to sell tea as weed to some guy in our school when we were like 13.
Haha my friends sold some stomach gas medicine to a guy saying it was eckys.
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hahahaha, i love bumps of threads like these. The TL forums have so much buried treasure
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Thanks for bumping the blog.
Ever since I read this blog for the first time, I've been a tea junkie ever since, dammit. Do not let more kids become tea smokers by bumping!!
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Oh yeah, i remember this thread..
priceless. I wonder did the OP score with the ladies..
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How did I miss this lol
I am laughing so hard right now. This is pure gold.
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I can't believe this thread got revived............................ lol still makes me laugh though.
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Next up: Help me snort MSG.
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hahahaha oh god this is brilliant
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On November 30 2008 21:37 Lamentations wrote:
what the fuck were you smoking when you came up with this idea?... oh wait...
hahhahahahahaha
I shouldn't be able to type in, cause of short breath.
Thank you mate
And thank you Teamliquid for awesome topics
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And this must be in a rulebook or something:
On July 05 2008 15:53 SpiralArchitect wrote:If you have a holy bible open at and take out the first page, dont just rip out a corner thats stupid. Then fold it in half and half and half and half till it is the desired size of your joint (1 fold is optimal), unfold it all the way and tear along the lines of one of your squares. Place the "material" in the newly made joint paper and roll it. If you dont know how to roll a J then your kinda screwed my friend since your first one is bound to have kinds of stuff that isnt smoke coming out of both ends, and you will look like stork without goon range. Good luck mate even though this might be late, you could possibly swoon them tomorrow or some crazy shit. Btw this is a really bad idea in general and I highly doubt it will generate any fornication, by you any way. omfg lawl lawllawlawllawl omfg. Sorry that was bad but this is so fucking hilarious dude, you have never rolled anything in your life. Here is a quick guide on how to roll your tea leave cigarette. 1. Take your paper (see guide) and fold it in half so there is a crease down the middle. 2.Place contents in crease evenly and pack it down LIGHTLY with your finger. 3. Pinch the corners of the paper at the top and gently roll it in your fingers, keep the paper straight damnit dont actually roll it yet. 4. Once the material reaches desired shape pinch the paper at the ends just above the material. Then use your thumbs to pull the front side down and push the top side up with your fingers. 5. Fold the corners in on the bottom side while keeping the top side straight. Then roll the material up like a dead body in a rug, most people know how to do that. 6. Lick the small edge that is left on the top side and firmly cement that mother fucker down. This is hard with bible paper and may take a few tries, but honestly ur probably fucked anyway. Even if you manage to master this technique (which will be very hard since my guide is very limited) which takes years to master for most people. Do you really assume that smoking is a huge turn on for these here women? Come on dude most women think that shit is disgusting, i know i smoke a pack a day. Not to mention this conversation ensueing: You: Hey ladies whats cracking!? Girls: O hey whats up? You: Not much just chilling about to smoke up this (insert what ever you thought up) to celebrate our kick ass country! Girls: Of thats cool, I am not really that into smoking stuff but whatever. You: Well shit dont you know that smoking is one of the coolest things you can do. (You now light up your "school paper" joint/cigg) You: See dont I look fucking cool? Girl: What the fuck? Is that notebook paper? You: Ah hell nah this is the latest blueberry stripe paper, its like that zebra gum shit but for older dudes. Girl: What the fuck..... You: Damn this shit is really good you sure you dont want some? Girl: Let me see that.... (you then hand her your cig cuz otherwise your fucked) Girl: This is not even (substance) this is fuckin tea leaves, are you retarded or something? You: Uh... Fuck.... Yes? (Lack of better answer available) (you now exit the scene as fast as possibe and 4 pool some unsuspecting "1v1 Only D- Im P" guy on iccup) Gl anyway ill give you a 5/5 since this thread provided me so much entertainment.
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lolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
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On July 06 2008 01:04 Chef wrote:
I had friends who smoked tea out of a bong... I passed cause I thought it was fucking stupid, but they seemed to be sort of enjoying it...
Just put your tea in boiling water, and let it steep for a bit. Then drink it, trust me, it's pretty good. Girls are into guys who drink their tea.
Chef is the only one not fucking with him lol.
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