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Today was an embarassing day for OakHill

Blogs > OakHill
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OakHill
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
United States168 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-06-23 21:42:24
June 23 2008 21:37 GMT
#1
Having the need to occupy his time over the summer, OakHill enlisted in a Biology class to fulfill one of his GFR requirements. The professor of the class was African American and yes, for this story that matters. OakHill didn't pay much attention in class because everyone knows Biology isn't important at all, and doing some stupid lab assignments isn't exactly hard for someone as intelligent and good-looking as OakHill. Later that day something unexpected happened... the professor showed up at OakHill's turf, the school gym (where our hero last benched 225 pounds using BSN's NO-Xplode™). He noticed OakHill at the water fountain and approached OakHill, saying "hey *OakHill's real name* and then extended his hand." "How's it going professor," OakHill said to him, extending his hand as well. As their hands touched, OakHill tried to grasp the professor's hand firmly but something was wrong. The professor was trying to interlock his fingers against OakHill's. "Oh no," OakHill realized, "he's trying to do the black handshake." OakHill fumbled, hard. It was too late at that point to do the handshake properly and OakHill knew it. Having grown up in the "ghetto" area of an middle-upper class suburban town nicknamed the "Ghetto Meadows" for having two of three African Americans living on each street, OakHill was no stranger to the black handshake. It was too late at that point to fix the handshake mess and he simply stood their in disbelief. Then the professor gave OakHill the look, THAT look. And OakHill grimaced, before saying quickly "See you in class," and leaving.

OakHill felt an emotion he had not felt in a long time. He felt human.

-OakHill

****
Titusmaster6
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
United States5937 Posts
June 23 2008 21:42 GMT
#2
LOL what?
Shorts down shorts up, BOOM, just like that.
NonY
Profile Blog Joined June 2007
8751 Posts
June 23 2008 21:43 GMT
#3
you have to take the offensive and give him a look before he can give you a look. just remember, you're always right.
"Fucking up is part of it. If you can't fail, you have to always win. And I don't think you can always win." Elliott Smith ---------- Yet no sudden rage darkened his face, and his eyes were calm as they studied her. Then he smiled. 'Witness.'
decafchicken
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
United States20164 Posts
June 23 2008 21:43 GMT
#4
i feel like im reading a comic book
how reasonable is it to eat off wood instead of your tummy?
geometryb
Profile Blog Joined November 2005
United States1249 Posts
June 23 2008 21:45 GMT
#5
this is a good blog post
Folca
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
2235 Posts
June 23 2008 21:48 GMT
#6
I dont understand the third person
Dea : one time when he was playing vs the comps he asked me "how do I make that flying unit that makes the other stuff invisible" and I reply "ur playing terran zomg"
Chill
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
Calgary25998 Posts
June 23 2008 21:53 GMT
#7
Hahaha FUCK I've been in this situation MANY times. Like this 40 year old asian guy I just met trying to give me the pound instead of shaking my hand? Who could have seen that coming? Jesus.
Moderator
BlasiuS
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
United States2405 Posts
June 23 2008 21:54 GMT
#8
It's because the story is copy+pasted from somewhere, and he just inserted 'OakHill' in place of the default name.
next week on Everybody Loves HypnoToad:
SixSongs
Profile Blog Joined March 2006
Poland1455 Posts
June 23 2008 21:54 GMT
#9
Is OakHill retarded?
The Prince of DroneS
NonY
Profile Blog Joined June 2007
8751 Posts
June 23 2008 21:55 GMT
#10
On June 24 2008 06:53 Chill wrote:
Hahaha FUCK I've been in this situation MANY times. Like this 40 year old asian guy I just met trying to give me the pound instead of shaking my hand? Who could have seen that coming? Jesus.


You better practice up for all the introductions at WWI.
"Fucking up is part of it. If you can't fail, you have to always win. And I don't think you can always win." Elliott Smith ---------- Yet no sudden rage darkened his face, and his eyes were calm as they studied her. Then he smiled. 'Witness.'
Wizard
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
Poland5055 Posts
June 23 2008 21:58 GMT
#11
OakHill's blogs keep on getting better and better. Will read again.

-Wizard
sAviOr[gm] ~ want to watch good replays? read my blog: http://www.teamliquid.net/blog/wizard
Chill
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
Calgary25998 Posts
June 23 2008 22:00 GMT
#12
On June 24 2008 06:55 NonY[rC] wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 24 2008 06:53 Chill wrote:
Hahaha FUCK I've been in this situation MANY times. Like this 40 year old asian guy I just met trying to give me the pound instead of shaking my hand? Who could have seen that coming? Jesus.


You better practice up for all the introductions at WWI.

I've been training all my life for my introduction with el Puerto Ricañ.
Moderator
Chef
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
10810 Posts
June 23 2008 22:04 GMT
#13
Hahaha FUCK I've been in this situation MANY times. Like this 40 year old asian guy I just met trying to give me the pound instead of shaking my hand? Who could have seen that coming? Jesus.

Just cover their hand and say "Paper covers rock, bitch." I heard it from a standup comedian once, and they always give the best advice

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/awkwardness-survival-guide.php
LEGEND!! LEGEND!!
Reflex
Profile Joined March 2007
Canada703 Posts
June 23 2008 22:04 GMT
#14
On June 24 2008 06:58 Wizard wrote:
OakHill's blogs keep on getting better and better. Will read again.

-Wizard


I must agree, OakHill has quite a knack for story telling.

-Reflex
Narrator
Profile Blog Joined June 2004
United States868 Posts
June 23 2008 22:05 GMT
#15
On June 24 2008 06:58 Wizard wrote:
OakHill's blogs keep on getting better and better. Will read again.

-Wizard

Man these blog posts are great. OakHill is my new hero.

Keep up the great blogs! =D
Raithed
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
China7078 Posts
June 23 2008 22:07 GMT
#16
what.
Folca
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
2235 Posts
June 23 2008 22:08 GMT
#17
On June 24 2008 06:54 AlabasterFilth wrote:
It's because the story is copy+pasted from somewhere, and he just inserted 'OakHill' in place of the default name.

sounds very possible
Dea : one time when he was playing vs the comps he asked me "how do I make that flying unit that makes the other stuff invisible" and I reply "ur playing terran zomg"
Ryot
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
Canada316 Posts
June 23 2008 22:12 GMT
#18
These Oakhill blogs have been surprisingly entertaining, I hope they're original content though.
OakHill
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
United States168 Posts
June 23 2008 22:15 GMT
#19
On June 24 2008 06:54 AlabasterFilth wrote:
It's because the story is copy+pasted from somewhere, and he just inserted 'OakHill' in place of the default name.


http://www.battle.net/forums/thread.aspx?fn=sc2-general&t=1388556&p=1&#post1388556

If you are referring to this.. you are misunderstanding me. I've made a thread joke about this "concept" before because it actually has happened to me before (anything I blog about has happened to me) and I felt like talking about it again since I consider the whole situation funny and relatable. If I use someone else's material I will cite them, as seen here:

http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?id=73242

OakHill has a very distinct (and poor) writing style. Thanks for the comments of course.
kidd
Profile Blog Joined November 2002
United States2848 Posts
June 23 2008 22:16 GMT
#20
hahaha so great, but not long enough.

Need more stories and more details rofl.
Hi
Kennelie
Profile Joined December 2007
United States2296 Posts
June 23 2008 22:19 GMT
#21
LOL I can kinda feel on this b/c I believe about 2 years ago I met some new friends and they had there own handshake and I believed they wanted me to start doing there handshake...Which felled miserably and I just said "nah im not down with that"....Which I really wasnt....Im fine with just a slap to the hand and thats about it....No time for "coolness"
ya had ya shot kid!
Manifesto7
Profile Blog Joined November 2002
Osaka27174 Posts
June 23 2008 22:44 GMT
#22
You become bewildered when faced with an "ethnic" handshake.

It is the fear of all suburbanites: when presented with a fist, an open palm, or any other nonstandard handshake, we freeze up, unable to react. We know that we must act quickly to avoid looking hopelessly square, or worse yet, racist. What do we do?

The most important factor when faced with an "academic" handshake is reaction time. No matter what your response is, slapping a fist or tickling a palm is infinitely better than just tentatively extending your trembling hand and hoping the other party takes the initiative to guide you through the process.

All handshakes are, at their core, tests to measure the machismo and charisma of an opponent; a nonstandard handshake goes above all that, and becomes a test of confidence and will. The slightest hesitation values your opponent's hand above your own. When faced with an unfamiliar handshake, take action, any action, as quickly as possible. Don't think, just shoot out your hand and slap whatever's in front of you.


From that early link.
ModeratorGodfather
._.
Profile Blog Joined November 2007
1133 Posts
June 23 2008 22:44 GMT
#23
LOL I love black people!

/Not

They're OK :/

5/5
:D
Viledica
Profile Joined May 2008
Canada361 Posts
June 23 2008 22:48 GMT
#24
I narrated that to my vent server.
Good stuff, please write more. lol
micronesia
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States24777 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-06-23 22:57:27
June 23 2008 22:57 GMT
#25
Interesting how being good looking makes biology labs easy XD
ModeratorThere are animal crackers for people and there are people crackers for animals.
Mastermind
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Canada7096 Posts
June 23 2008 22:57 GMT
#26
lol
These keep getting better. Keep it up. NeoStorm actually comes here everyday looking for a new Oakhill blog.

-NeoStorm
Falcynn
Profile Blog Joined June 2005
United States3597 Posts
June 23 2008 23:33 GMT
#27
haha, Falcynn's really starting to love your blogs.

-Falcynn
Demoninja
Profile Blog Joined April 2007
United States1190 Posts
June 23 2008 23:36 GMT
#28
Epic. I was gonna just post that but it seems like spam so I'm typing more. This all is irrelevant so if you wasted your time to read this sorry.
Motiva
Profile Joined November 2007
United States1774 Posts
June 23 2008 23:48 GMT
#29
5/5
FragKrag
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
United States11565 Posts
June 23 2008 23:53 GMT
#30
FragKrag heard that OakHill is stealing from 4Chan.

-FragKrag
*TL CJ Entusman #40* "like scissors does anything to paper except MAKE IT MORE NUMEROUS" -paper
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32141 Posts
June 23 2008 23:54 GMT
#31
hahahahhaahha
PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
MiniRoman
Profile Blog Joined September 2003
Canada3953 Posts
June 23 2008 23:59 GMT
#32
On June 24 2008 06:53 Chill wrote:
Hahaha FUCK I've been in this situation MANY times. Like this 40 year old asian guy I just met trying to give me the pound instead of shaking my hand? Who could have seen that coming? Jesus.


Just put your hand over his and be like "Paper covers rock bitch"






(Ya I stole the joke, fuck u all)
Nak Allstar.
Falcynn
Profile Blog Joined June 2005
United States3597 Posts
June 23 2008 23:59 GMT
#33
On June 24 2008 08:53 FragKrag wrote:
FragKrag heard that OakHill is stealing from 4Chan.

-FragKrag
Is that true? Falcynn's going to be pretty pissed at being deceived like this.

-Falcynn
OakHill
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
United States168 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-06-24 04:30:18
June 24 2008 04:28 GMT
#34
On June 24 2008 08:53 FragKrag wrote:
FragKrag heard that OakHill is stealing from 4Chan.

-FragKrag


OakHill heard that you keep spamming all his blog posts because no one visits yours.

And you're banned for trying to compare OakHill's blog to a LolCat shit hole.

-OakHill
clazziquai
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
6685 Posts
June 24 2008 04:37 GMT
#35
5 stars
#1 Sea.Really Fan / #1 Nesh Fan / Terran Forever~
avilo
Profile Blog Joined November 2007
United States4100 Posts
June 24 2008 06:17 GMT
#36
avilo was entertained lol nice
Sup
Nazarene
Profile Blog Joined October 2005
Denmark996 Posts
June 24 2008 08:45 GMT
#37
hahahaa, I love your blogs. I require more
DeadVessel
Profile Blog Joined April 2006
United States6269 Posts
June 24 2008 09:46 GMT
#38
OakHill is hilarious.
thedeadhaji *
Profile Blog Joined January 2006
39489 Posts
June 24 2008 10:40 GMT
#39
ahahah OakHill blogs are a regular stop for me on TL.net now ^^
Romance_us
Profile Joined March 2006
Seychelles1806 Posts
June 24 2008 14:38 GMT
#40
On June 24 2008 13:28 OakHill wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 24 2008 08:53 FragKrag wrote:
FragKrag heard that OakHill is stealing from 4Chan.

-FragKrag


OakHill heard that you keep spamming all his blog posts because no one visits yours.

And you're banned for trying to compare OakHill's blog to a LolCat shit hole.

-OakHill


5 stars for this, and this alone.
Notes and feelings, numbers and reason. The ultimate equilibrium.
Jonoman92
Profile Blog Joined September 2006
United States9109 Posts
June 24 2008 16:01 GMT
#41
Oakhill is my leader!!!

#1 blog on TL


#1 blog on the internet!!!
Steelflight-Rx
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States1389 Posts
June 09 2010 07:02 GMT
#42
i just wanted to say, i miss you oak hill.
yubee wrote: you know? it's a great night you should all smile no matter what harddships, because grass grows and the sky is blue and it's a good life.
Draconizard
Profile Joined October 2008
628 Posts
June 09 2010 07:05 GMT
#43
Did he not resurrect himself as PokePill, or is that someone else?
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32141 Posts
June 09 2010 14:03 GMT
#44
these blogs were always fun
PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
Frits
Profile Joined March 2003
11782 Posts
June 09 2010 14:05 GMT
#45
haha this is so recognizable
jello_biafra
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
United Kingdom6642 Posts
June 09 2010 14:07 GMT
#46
On June 09 2010 16:05 Draconizard wrote:
Did he not resurrect himself as PokePill, or is that someone else?

Pretty sure he did yes, may have been banned on that account to though lol.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions | aka Probert[PaiN] @ iccup / godlikeparagon @ twitch | my BW stream: http://www.teamliquid.net/video/streams/jello_biafra
PokePill
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
United States1048 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-06-10 22:09:31
June 10 2010 21:18 GMT
#47
Hey guys,

Thanks for the support. I would love to post like like I used to but the moderators don't like that kind of attention whoring posting, and rules are rules, so I've kind of kept it low key and become a generic poster. I have lots of ideas for funny threads but end up posting them on other forums (not talking about bnet forum threads) instead, and for that I apologize. I'll try to post one or two here in the next few months.
blabber
Profile Blog Joined June 2007
United States4448 Posts
June 10 2010 21:23 GMT
#48
On June 11 2010 06:18 PokePill wrote:
Hey guys,

Thanks for the support. I would love to post like like I used to but the moderators don't like that kind of attention whoring posting, and rules are rules, so I've kind of kept it low key and become a generic poster. I have lots of ideas for funny threads but end up posting them on other forums instead, and for that I apologize. I'll try to post one or two here in the next few months.



Chill definitely seemed to enjoy this blog...
blabberrrrr
iNcontroL *
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
USA29055 Posts
June 10 2010 21:25 GMT
#49
such funny threads include his trolling of the blizzard forums where he says the machine v whitera games were fixed.

Clearly we are missing out on such a funny talent.
PokePill
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
United States1048 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-06-10 22:24:32
June 10 2010 21:50 GMT
#50
On June 11 2010 06:25 {88}iNcontroL wrote:
such funny threads include his trolling of the blizzard forums where he says the machine v whitera games were fixed.

Clearly we are missing out on such a funny talent.


Calm down, I'm not an assimilator.

And I'm convinced they are fixed, it's just not worth the effort to prove since it would take so much effort analyzing every game in great depth when I don't have a problem with what you guys did since it's good for the game.
Tom Phoenix
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
1114 Posts
June 11 2010 22:43 GMT
#51
On June 11 2010 06:50 PokePill wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 11 2010 06:25 {88}iNcontroL wrote:
such funny threads include his trolling of the blizzard forums where he says the machine v whitera games were fixed.

Clearly we are missing out on such a funny talent.


Calm down, I'm not an assimilator.

And I'm convinced they are fixed, it's just not worth the effort to prove since it would take so much effort analyzing every game in great depth when I don't have a problem with what you guys did since it's good for the game.


Still, don't you think that is a preety serious accusation to be throwing around? Pointing a finger at someone and claiming they rigged their matches is no light matter and you shouldn't be suprised when people do not treat it off-hand, especially in light of the recent match-fixing scandal in Korea.

If you are not willing to actually defend your stance, what is the point of bringing up the issue in the first place? Without providing any substance to your claim, you merely end up looking like a troll who is accusing a pair of well-known and respectable players for it's own sake.

If you honestly have reasons to believe the matches were fixed, present them. Otherwise, nothing you say will hold any merit.
You and your "5 years of competitive RTS experience" can take a hike. - FrozenArbiter
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