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3861 Posts
Maybe it's the beer I've been drinking tonight.
Maybe it was the company I kept.
We are 5 months into 2008. I shed something terrible in 2007 and begged that this year would be different, something completely uncertain. And so far, it sure is.
I started the year spending 2 months in Korea, followed by a month and a half in Europe. One month home and I leave for Korea again tomorrow evening. My summer is set for me, however, my fall and winter are clouded by possibilities of "what ifs". And I think I like it.
Had dinner with a few of my closest friends tonight. The five of us sat around our steaks and beers and just talked - about how far we've come in life, where we used to be, our college days, etc. (All mixed in with some wow talk and baseball and basketball playoff talk, of course). It made me sad to know that the people I love the most are the ones I don't see very much anymore. But at the same time, the idea of living back at home made me feel suffocated. I come back to Jersey every now and then, simply to see my friends. To be able to pick up where I've left off.
People say that home is where the heart is, but I've never had a "home". I've moved around tons of times, been to several different schools and never had a place to call my own.
And off I go again.
I wonder if I'll ever be satisfied with what I have in life. I realize that I will never be "happy" but that ultimately, I am searching for a sense of "content". Until then, I will keep moving...
"in a field i am the absence of field.
this is always the case.
wherever i am
i am what is missing.
when i walk i part the air and always
the air moves in to fill the spaces
where my body's been.
we all have reasons for moving.
i move to keep things whole."
-mark strand
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I've found that it's always heartwarming to see old friends and catch up with them. Especially when you're leading a new life all by yourself and alone, our closest friends are always there when we feel lonely and are in solitude. Change is always good, so don't be afraid to be always moving. 
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ah really sux to have no place to call "home", i guess thats what happens when u have to move so many times like its common in US society. Sadly it most likely will become the standard anywhere else too...
Apart from that I think you dont necessarily have to have a home as in location. A partner or a passion/hobby can also create the comfortable feeling many people get from being at "home".
Other than that I guess try to be thankful for things and you will see that you can easily be happy and content with your life.
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Maybe you should get married and have a family.
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happiness is not a destination
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if a starcraft player goes into a game knowing thinking hes gonna lose - he probably will.
Saying things like 'i know ill never be happy' are very bad/sad thing to hear. Endless possibilities stretch out before you, and i bet a good lot of them end with happiness..
take a deep breath, live in the moment, and everything else will fall into place
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I actually thought you were lucky doing all this travelling. Why does it feel like your home state is suffocating?
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Life is your career.
Tis my motto ^ ^
Fuck everything else.
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it's probably the beer and the company
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United States22883 Posts
If you don't mind me asking, why are you going to Purdue? Leaving West Lafayette was one of the best decisions I've ever made.
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3861 Posts
On May 13 2008 15:06 Jibba wrote:
If you don't mind me asking, why are you going to Purdue? Leaving West Lafayette was one of the best decisions I've ever made.
I quit Purdue back in December.
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Spenguin
Australia3316 Posts
Ohhh its lilsusie...hai
DW I do this with Scorpion's blogs a lot.
glhf
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United States22883 Posts
On May 13 2008 19:28 lilsusie wrote:Show nested quote +On May 13 2008 15:06 Jibba wrote:
If you don't mind me asking, why are you going to Purdue? Leaving West Lafayette was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I quit Purdue back in December.
Oh. I never really felt much attachment to home until I started being successful in my personal life. I guess before then, I was never proud when I came back so I wanted to leave as quickly as possible.
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Calgary25954 Posts
How do people go out drinking on Mondays? I'm quite jealous.
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3861 Posts
On May 13 2008 22:11 Chill wrote:
How do people go out drinking on Mondays? I'm quite jealous.
Sillyhead. It was cuz I'm leaving for Korea. I only get to see my friends 2 weeks at a time, maybe like 3 times a year 
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Well trade. I'll travel and you come back to Joisey and work and go to school full time for me =p
It's probably cuz youre home for so little time and youre trying to cram in so much shit in that small window. Just make sure you call/im friends more when youre away if you miss em~
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neverknowif you will be happy? just looking at your face makes me happy susie
when are you coming to england again  i want to show u south west england all farmers!!
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On May 18 2008 00:27 lod-mika wrote:neverknowif you will be happy? just looking at your face makes me happy susie when are you coming to england again i want to show u south west england all farmers!!
Your girlfriend is ugly
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EPT
