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Why do I try so hard?
I let my friends borrow money when they're in need and they never pay me back...whenever I borrow money, I always pay back what I borrow.
Customers/people accidently overpay me without noticing (two 20's stuck together or some sort) and I always correct them...if I accidently overpay for something, I NEVER get back what I mistakenly spend (I know this because I keep track of what I spend).
I never steal, not even a small pack of gum from a local wawa I visit every day, yet people have stolen around $10,000 worth of stuff we own in just this summer.
And yet, I stick to my goody two-shoe morals like I'm bound by some force. I blindly trudge forward believing in the big balance of this universe, that not a single act passes by unseen, that retribution is always lurking around the corner.
Jeez, I'm so hopeless sometimes...
 
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GrandInquisitor
New York City13113 Posts
I'm not religious at all, but Matthew 6:1-4 is still inspiring:
"Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you."
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Well u and me are the same then. I believe that if I start behave good and treat ppl well they will follow. I mean, someone got to start doing it, so why not me? Very christian thoughts indeed, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
There is truth in that though. Keep up the morals and ppl will follow you 
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derren brown can help you in no time
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CA10828 Posts
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8751 Posts
Hmm well you should continue to do good things, but don't let others take advantage of you.
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United States37500 Posts
On August 22 2007 07:15 NonY[rC] wrote:
Hmm well you should continue to do good things, but don't let others take advantage of you.
Word. You obviously had a good upbringing, no shame in that, nor should you view it negatively.
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On August 22 2007 07:15 NonY[rC] wrote:
Hmm well you should continue to do good things, but don't let others take advantage of you.
Found this out the hard way as a kid
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Don't bother being immoral with little stuff like stealing gum or keeping someone's money if they overpay. Be immoral when it actually makes a big difference for you, i.e. if you find a suitcase full of money, KEEP IT :D
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I can relate to what you're saying. I'm the same way, but I try to not let it bother me.
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Looks like you need someone to confirm to you that it is worthy to be moral. I am that guy. I have a problem with morals... nothing major, but still, it's annoying as hell and I fucking hate myself at times.
If what you wrote is 100% true, I admire you. People like you inspire me. Don't ever lose your morality. You have nothing to lose. If you're religious, you get eternal life. If you're not, you'll earn the trust of people around you anyway, and things will generally be MUCH better for you. MOST IMPORTANTLY, you will be able to go to sleep at night at peace with yourself, without worries. I tell you that as a man who almost got involved with an organized crime network -.-
Secondly, stop letting people take advantage of you. Just put your foot in the fucking door way (Romanian expression, dunno if it makes sense translated). What I mean is stand your ground. If a friend asks you for some money, and you're 70% or more certain that you won't see them back, say NO. Say you can't. You don't have. Whatever. Your relationship with such a person would go WAY better and healthier once he or she stops exploiting you.
If you DO lend money, set an EXACT time and date for the repayment. By exact I mean Thursday at 2:35 PM, in front of the Mall, near the yellow trailer, August 22 2007. Seriously. Don't accept any excuses or shit - YOU are the honest one, stop fearing a confrontation with your 'friends'.
Other than that, KEEP YOU MORALS, it's the best thing a man can have these days. A real MAN. I admire you, gl
EDIT: People with lesser morals involuntarily percept your morality as a flaw, some sort of code you must follow in certain situations, which you cannot evade. Thus you become predictable, as in you'll never forget to repay a financial debt for example. They exploit you because they are lesser, but you can stop this without lowering your own beliefs and methods of thinking.
WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T LOWER YOURSELF TO THEIR LEVEL
I don't know how much sense this makes, but... gl with all
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On August 22 2007 07:15 NonY[rC] wrote:
Hmm well you should continue to do good things, but don't let others take advantage of you.
qft
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Keep doing what youre doing.
What you're doing is good, and you know that, so keep doing so.
More people should be like this.
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Fuck zil, that sucks balls.
But you sound like me; if I got all the money that I lent to my friends back I'd probably have somewhere along the lines of $3-4K. -_-;;;
I'm too easy to swindle T_T
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United States24723 Posts
What everyone else said pretty much sums up my feelings. Having the right mindset at life won't always benefit you from day to day, but in the long run the trend shows up. Like Nony was implying, don't let your friends borrow money from you and not pay you back. The more stuff like that happens the more it will keep happening. If you are honestly worried about the effect being fair with them will have on your friendship, you should evaluate that friendship.
On August 22 2007 08:26 minus_human wrote:
You have nothing to lose. If you're religious, you get eternal life. If you're not, you'll earn the trust of people around you anyway, and things will generally be MUCH better for you.
I agree with your post but I just have to point out a couple of problems I have with that since I see these things said often. Whether or not you're religious doesn't affect whether or not your beliefs are the truth. Also, because you judge yourself to be a moral person doesn't necessarily dictate whether or not you are going to get eternal life from a religious standpoint. That part about earning the trust of people around you, however, is very similar to what I was saying.
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On August 22 2007 07:15 NonY[rC] wrote:
Hmm well you should continue to do good things, but don't let others take advantage of you.
cant say it any better. sorry man, but dont let it get you down 
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On August 22 2007 09:47 micronesia wrote:What everyone else said pretty much sums up my feelings. Having the right mindset at life won't always benefit you from day to day, but in the long run the trend shows up. Like Nony was implying, don't let your friends borrow money from you and not pay you back. The more stuff like that happens the more it will keep happening. If you are honestly worried about the effect being fair with them will have on your friendship, you should evaluate that friendship. Show nested quote +On August 22 2007 08:26 minus_human wrote:
You have nothing to lose. If you're religious, you get eternal life. If you're not, you'll earn the trust of people around you anyway, and things will generally be MUCH better for you. I agree with your post but I just have to point out a couple of problems I have with that since I see these things said often. Whether or not you're religious doesn't affect whether or not your beliefs are the truth. Also, because you judge yourself to be a moral person doesn't necessarily dictate whether or not you are going to get eternal life from a religious standpoint. That part about earning the trust of people around you, however, is very similar to what I was saying.
Yes I agree with that, but morals DO go hand in hand with religion. I was making a most natural assumption that if he (or any normal person) considers himself "moral", it usually is, if not the same thing, very close to the religious morals. Differences may occur of course, and my statement is still just an assumption. What he believes to be moral may not be so moral from a religious standpoint, but isn't he doing his best? Perhaps we should eliminate the religious part in considering his morals. Religion may get rigid at times, you know. Comparing yourself to the society you live it, its demands and rewards, is usually easier to grasp than religion IMO. At least because it leaves less room for interpretation and different perception to intelligent people.
Btw ilovezil, how religious ARE you? I'm curious 
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your morals shouldnt be based on how others treat you, keep going .
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On August 22 2007 06:50 GrandInquisitor wrote:
I'm not religious at all, but Matthew 6:1-4 is still inspiring:
"Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you."
Amen
so what do you wanna do, go stealing and break your morals? keep them up and be a good person, God bless
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these are just little stuff you do to be a good person. You'll face real tests of your morals that are harder than paying your friends back their money.
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and your friends not paying you back and customers stealing stuff doesn't have anything to do with your upkeeping of basic adult responsibilities. The solution to those problems might be forcing your friends to pay you back and get tighter security, and not don't ever lend money again and start stealing yourself.
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Big thanks to everyone's comments; I appreciate each reply in earnest.
To minus_human:
In regards to whether or not I am as virtuous as you have expected, I will not claim that I certainly am. Yes, I do try to live as morally upright as I can, but as a human being, I'm sure that even what I've written in my OP is biased or somehow skewed. I can honestly claim, however, that I don't followed the "eye for an eye" doctrine. I do not take what's mine even if others take my own possessions, for example, and I always mind any actions I take that would disturb my conscience.
How religious am I?
If you were to hang around me these days, you would think I'm just a normal American guy, working to make a living. I don't exactly try hard to show my religious side, although I do believe in God, and in Jesus Christ as my savior. To sum up an otherwise epic story of my life, I've had experiences that gave root to a firm belief in an all powerful and all knowing being. Also, I did grow up in a Christian/conservative environment which probably contributed to shaping who I am today. I might post an entry in my blog sometime in the future regarding details, but to put it short, yes I am a believer in God.
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Keep up the good stuff man, we need as many people like you as we can.
As for your troubles, I actually think it's immoral if you're too lenient with people. Of course you probably can't make them become more conscientious of people around them (anyways that's a different story) but you can certainly give them "extrinsic" motivations to be better borrowers, for example. What I mean by this is that you should punish them softly for not paying back (e.g. say "if you don't pay this back, I will not lend money to you next time"). I know it's hard when you care about people and are sensitive to their needs, and they come to you with a desperate look on their face and all that, but if you don't punish them for acting badly they will probably never change their behavior.
Same thing with the stealing, get somewhat tighter security.
If you're like me, punishing people for devious actions will not please you. On a gut-level you'll probably prefer to give them what they want because if not they will make you feel guilty. But you have to stand firm and show them your compassion has limits (like a parent who loves his child but also knows that he must discipline his child or else he won't learn properly).
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iloveilovezil
keep it up & don't get downnn :}
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what kind of friends do u all have? mine always pay me back and of course i always pay them back...and if not ...well theres a good chance we wont be good friends for much longer. dunno maybe its a thing with bulgarians (me obviously being one) but in our country people that dont return debts are not regarded as good people.
my 2 cents
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the world needs people like you to keep it from falling apart. haha obviously an exaggeration, but people like you remind me that the virtuous, softer side of humanity is still alive in these times of self-interest and profit.
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well nobody could steal from wawa...they are amazing. i wish i had one.
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On August 22 2007 06:50 GrandInquisitor wrote:
I'm not religious at all, but Matthew 6:1-4 is still inspiring:
"Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you."
Excellent verse.
In other words, if there is no God, you're a sucker. ^^
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Physician
United States4146 Posts
your OP reminded me of an old Sufi story that though it touches another issue it is one aspect related..
A thief entered the house of a Sufi, and found nothing there. As he was leaving, the Sufi saw the thief’s disappointment and thus threw him the blanket in which he was sleeping, so that he would not go away empty-handed.
was the Sufi just naive and stupid? or was he wise and noble?
You claim that are your morals are stupid.. but are they really stupid? I think not. Anyway,
minus_human put it best.
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Russian Federation4235 Posts
Dunno, I've read the replies in this thread and they seem somewhat wrong to me. I think you are in danger of falling in a trap. Watched Dogville? You can be a righteous person, but there's a trick there that if you assume yourself being "righteous among the wrong", you're falling into the greatest sin - arrogance. As soon as you start the "omg, I don't steal and I don't kill and hit people, but life is so hard that way" drama, you somehow try to elevate yourself over the cruel unjust world and claim to be somehow better than other people. Sit down and answer yourself why you are doing all this? "Because it's the right thing" is not a satisfactory answer. Right or wrong shift like desert sands every day you live and every place you go. Try to find another valid reason. I've found a logical reasoning for myself some time ago and could try to explain it here.
Essentially, a set of rules concerning "what should be done" and "what shouldn't" can define a man's behavior in almost any situation. The point is that a man that has that set of rules is stronger than a man who doesn't. Strictly defines priorities make a man ten times stronger, because he doesn't take time to doubt. It's much like SC and IntoTheRainbow - what do you do when your reaver tech is spotted and terran turrets up and positions his tanks? Right, you load a shuttle and fly in to kill. Rainbow has done that and the reason he's been so successful is simple - confidence. He's doing it no matter what and that is the sole fact that makes him strong. He has his priorities set. Now, going back to the topic, a set of priorities involving "do not steal", "do not kill" and (for me) "survival, whether my own or that of my relatives/close friends overrides all rules" is being chosen in cold blood just for the reason it's the one most compartible with life. Steal and get jailed, fail your family. Kill and risk getting killed leaving your children without a father. When your priorities are set over your family, you can't afford it. All simple. Just logic. The same thing with trust. You don't place your trust in people because "trusting people is good" only to find "how wrong you were" when you're being betrayed. You place trust in people fully realizing the risks you take because trusting your friends seemingly blindly makes you stronger. And I, for myself, want to be a strong person. A man who doesn't doubt can sometimes do things way beyond "average human potential".
Find out why you're doing this and don't whine. Noone forces you to be good anyway, so it's either your choice which is plain stupid to whine upon, or you didn't really choose it and all your goodness is crap. People might have other reasons for it - christians, for example, do that because they are awarded an eternal afterlife of happiness, even though I consider that somewhat naive.
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haven't read all comments, but i want to say that i was quite amused when i found out that generally, people that have 'lower' standards than 'righteous' people look down at them because of envy or disdain of not being able themselves to be sustain such standard.
oh well, i am sure that in spanish that makes sense
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If your friends can just not pay you back and you don't do anything about it, you don't have a healthy relationship with them. They're taking advantage of you. Don't let that happen, a friendship is never real if it involves one friend continually treading on the other.
Otherwise, keep it up.
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On August 30 2007 15:29 HeadBangaa wrote:Show nested quote +On August 22 2007 06:50 GrandInquisitor wrote:
I'm not religious at all, but Matthew 6:1-4 is still inspiring:
"Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you." Excellent verse. In other words, if there is no God, you're a sucker. ^^ youre missing the point
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EPT
