I wrapped up my Computer Science Degree this December. I was pretty stressed out, I was worried about passing 2 of my classes, which I somehow managed to do, so I did manage to graduate.
Through November and December I had a worsening tooth infection, which I ignored because of school workload. My mother had cancer during all of my fall semester. Each month saw another glimmer of hope being taken away; worsening conditions and elimination of treatment options. I knew early on what the likely outcome of the cancer would be.
The day after graduating I flew across the country to see my parents. They live out in the countryside in Oregon, the little house out in the mountains that I grew up in. It seemed big as a kid, now it seems tiny.
My mother was able to spend time with me for a week. We watched TV shows, went out to a dinner, got to watch my nephew unwrap presents on Christmas. 8 days after arriving I returned to my wife and our apartment in Maryland. I brought her a late christmas gift, a nasty cold that my nephew gave pretty much everyone.
Life has only became more challenging since then. The sickness was a pain in the ass, and the toothache got worse. It actually became insane. Eventually a doctor prescribed penicillin, which has made it much better. I will have the tooth extracted soon.
A couple weeks ago my wife started having scary symptoms. Her legs would suddenly stop working in the evening; she'd get random weakness to the point where she couldn't walk or even stand. Fatigue. Pain(a problem she's often dealt with). Migraines. Blurry vision. We've gone to the doctor. Now she's gotten an MRI and we will go to the neurologist appointment tomorrow.
My sister called 3 days ago. My mom was denied her last treatment option (a liver transplant). She will be passing soon, likely within a couple weeks. My sister is a naturopathic doctor, she's an exceptional human being and she is going to live-in with them until my mom passes.
My mom isn't really all there mentally anymore. I reached out to my sister and told her to message me the next time mom was having a good day, if there was one. I managed to get a phone call in while my mom was lucid on Saturday. It was very difficult. What I told her was the truth, and I know she heard me, and I think it helped. She couldn't really speak much, but the last thing I did hear before I got off the phone was her saying "I raised a good son.".
It's hard for my dad. They've been married for almost 40 years. I called him today, I gave him advice. He was thankful. He is grieving and scared.
I couldn't sleep last night. I'm scared too. I couldn't sleep because I am worried about my wife. I'm so scared that there is something seriously wrong with her. She doesn't deserve that, she deserves so much more, she's had to deal with a lot. I love her so much. I can't imagine how difficult it would be to try to go back to living alone. It feels like I just met her but it's actually been 7 years somehow.
But this is life. Life is about teaching us that none of this belongs to us. We've gotta take it in stride, and just appreciate what is happening regardless. I hope I can continue to do that no matter what the future holds.