EPTI became aware of the insidious seed of ninazerg growing in my subconscious, (I say this not because ninazerg is bad or anything, but only figuratively and with colorful metaphor) but I became aware of the dread presence of ninazerg expanding and sluicing threatening to fill the romantic void of my lost romantic interest. You can see how it preys upon me. The conscious mind rendered helpless as the subliminal influences cause impossible and unpredictable ripples, drawing me ineluctably closer to the shipwreck of truly inflamed passion. It is as though someone has smashed my skull with a hammer and I have become a nanotech cyborg after an insidious Dr. Strangelove poured molten computing chips into the convulsing mass of my surviving brain, and then used an electromagnetic wireless router and the natural healing process to create a cybersynthetic brain (don't ban me chill). Yes indeed, beneath the surface runs some impossible current, indefinable and indefatigable, driving the human animal helplessly and against his will to the edge of endurance all to answer the demands of a four billion year old reproductive instinct, hewn and hewn again into the hard earth, like some impossible Grand Canyon who answers not to a rational, reasoning God, but instead to the shear need to flow, to match the current, to adapt to the unceasing and ever-changing demands of irrational nature.
Lo! I knew the end was nigh when helpman176 surfaced in the grudgematch thread saying, "To me this looks like YokoKano and Ninazerg are in some kind of extended pre-courtship phase..."
Alas, romance is reserved for the disenfranchised, the downtrodden, those unable to be motivated by the whirling surge of rampant sexuality belonging to the fortunate and sexually satisfied whose success and reproductive prowess can only manifest in an unchecked and uncontrollable egoism, a sort of mania, like the mead of the gods, the self-fueling fire of lust and lasciviousness, the delicious sauces which rise to the savoury top of the broth and sustain those fortunate few whose joy it is to partake in its consumption.
Ah! I know it too well! The pain, agony, suffering and heart-rending jealousy which comprises the lot of us great, the writhing masses whose desires are repressed but not in reality slaked, the ennui that seeks to steal our last remaining vitality and throw us handily down into the realm of the great unwashed -- this! The sad state of affairs to which we are fallen whose natural inclination, upbringing or state of existence has denied us entrance into the coveted company of promiscuous kings and queens. Ah, but surely they have their own problems!
Well it matters not about them because in some capacity they are to be blamed for their indulgences, which only a fool would suppose to take for himself were the opportunity ever to be offered. Ha! What nonsense and contradiction.
But leave off worrying about the great ones and those fortunate few whose talents have found them in such a position to be bartering with the sex we all desire, and what's more the confidence and easy-going persona which is truly only accessible to saints and the sexually satisfied. It is no wonder we toss their yoke, as it is not an easy one! But again I digress...
So let's face it.
I thought to myself after our second grudge match (which I won handily), surely I shall enliven the relationship between myself and this ninazerg creature by not showing up for our appointed brood war the following day. And thus I knew I had lost myself! How easily we succumb to the petty politics and manipulations even those of us who partake in the grand and eternal game. Indeed how should this happen, happen to me of all people, I who think of ninazerg as a hipster hippie, a female who raps poorly, and who plays BW like a molded bronzie. Ah and yet happen it did, or threatened to, but that I should be overtaken as some stick-in-the-mud, to wallow in the collective insanity of desire and concupiscence. It is not to be! No, ninazerg! You will not have me.
So thought I to myself, perhaps I shall destroy her once and for all. Be rid finally of this hindrance and pest, brave though may she be, this ninazerg shall not possess me, consciously or unconsciously, never willingly shall I again penetrate into the depths of that Shakespearean sepulcher and be housed there like some Romeo, eternally damned and forsaken.
No, it was time to dispense with ninazerg, and what better way than to force her to play SC2, to transform her into a contestant in LotV, to forever banish from her mind the joys she once knew in the blissful fields of blood where she sprang about in youth, perhaps brandishing a wind spinner or some noble parasol. No, indeed, the memories of Brood War would forever vanish from the mind of ninazerg, and SC2 would be the instrument of her destruction, and upon that ethereal shade I would play etude of her undoing.
And so it began.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/44ngroZ.jpg)
I spawned top left as ninazerg on [VOID] Coda LE against a Korean random. From our previous matches I knew ninazerg would execute some terribly unorthodox nonsense after a cookie-cutter opening, for instance 2-base Spire and then no Mutas ZvP. I didn't feel like scouting so nina's by-the-book tactics were right up my alley.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/HHagK9w.jpg)
No Zerg ever rushes on a two player map, out of respect for the beta. Wisely ninazerg's Terran opponent went CC-first, while ninazerg performed my patented double cancel hatch, pool, lord.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/dbXFcMz.jpg)
ninazerg plays like a huge turtle because she thinks she'll win if she ever gets to midgame. since she opened a verse zerg build, +1 carapace seemed like a winning argument. honestly i think despite all her talk ninazerg is in the top one-hundredth of the top one percentile of conservative players. my games against ninazerg were like tasteless vs artosis.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/26xdW5G.jpg)
ninazerg's korean opponent apparently thinks the game is already over. there is a complete lack of sanity in the korean's evaluation. you haven't automatically won by getting a fast CC down and then playing cookie cutter. this is what the korean's first attack looks like.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/RYZgeHZ.jpg)
the queen front is real. ninazerg has about 2,000 HP of transfuse here, and 2 armor queens. hm.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/xdc8mBb.jpg)
the korean wants to tilt and lose all terran's stuff to ninazerg's mordor style. he's forced back.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/fZ76MFp.jpg)
the third is equally defended, so when reinforcements arrive terran scans and attacks from a similar angle, this time focusing fire on the weakened spine crawler. desperate players make a lot of bad decisions, once the comeback fire is lost. transparency is the only realistic solution.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/FYEjE5o.jpg)
the korean terran refuses to retreat in the face of ninazerg's queens. in equal numbers, the queens decimate the korean's marines and hellions, unable to find dps to down a single queen even when the fire is focused.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/ZK6W4o6.jpg)
the queens force the retreat and terran double expands behind. interested in concealing his greedy strategy, the korean pressures the front and the transfuses begin again.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/JGOAuPy.jpg)
fireworks begin when WMs get under. momentary confusion and overhead cam shows stim fading. those weird rings in this screen shot are apparently omnidirectional and WM hits nothing? who knows.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/8hUyayK.jpg)
one badass queen has 8 kills to itself, and is probably the ring leader. it's easier at 1-1 vs naught. either way ninazerg's queens have definitely done work. yet fatually the finest hour is still ahead and the queens are joined by lurks.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/ugryfLS.jpg)
ninazerg nydus's into the kor's 5th base. YOU BETTER NOT DO IT NINAZERG, SCREAMS THE T. but things are looking up and ninazerg begins to unload her army...
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/p3KlY5n.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/FiyYA63.jpg)
lurkers reach the third with queens in hot pursuit. meanwhile the rocks are going down and terran is still trying to come around.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/2H4F4a7.jpg)
a forward nydus for creep spread turns into a lucky break for ninazerg. queens and lurkers pop through the generator just before it goes down. it's just enough for a home base defense. nina is spared the trouble of cleaning up.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/xdZljLH.jpg)
but black hawk down! now 8 queens and 2 lurkers will have to los alamos against more than 50 terran bio. this one could get hairy.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/x7XKk5h.jpg)
teeth rip from the ground and battle is joined. the lurkers pick off a few easy targets with the explosion of a widow mine and a few corpses.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/5zqFVI4.jpg)
two queens meet up and nina decides to force the issue.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/yIyqi0P.jpg)
the korean takes what looks to be a winning concave, but will nina really put up with this shit? she's drowning in transfuse and with only 2 lurks for dps the odds aren't in her favor.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/feELeeJ.jpg)
i just wanted to back up and include this lurker going ssj for no reason at all.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/Uo0ZrkW.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/LgZMJb1.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/sJTY47t.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/KOzUeBa.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/8qmFSBr.jpg)
4 queens and 2 lurkers survive. the korean has been slammed. can you guess how many kills the lurkers will have before the game is over? more than 90!
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/2Dkr4Mq.jpg)
