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Hey TL, just a little college blog for you  .
Yesterday was bid day, today is today, and tomorrow I'll still be a not-so-proud member of the Gamma Delta Iota fraternity. It's not a totally bum deal, I have a lot of free time because of it, I'm progressing at learning how to play hockey and picking it up incredibly quickly, apparently. I should back up though.
Joining a fraternity isn't something I'd expect out of a majority of the teamliquiders I see on the forums, not because any of them couldn't survive the hazing or whatever, but because it just doesn't seem to be the style of the people who frequent this forum. When I got to college, I didn't think it would be mine either. I went to some of the rush events but had no formal idea of what rush actually is, I didn't submit a bid card, and I definitely had no idea that the different stereotypes about each of the fraternities on my campus were in large part only somewhat true.
In the south, being in a fraternity means a lot. It won't change your life, unless you happen to be at a big state school, then yes it can change your life. Other than that, it's more about brotherhood and fun. There are issues with it, and I won't downplay some of those. It's a huge time suck being a pledge, and there are all the issues with being a pledge in general. There's the issue that it could make my GPA fall, which would be awful considering I still have hard to hit goals for graduate school. Finally, being socially branded is something I have to accept for the brotherhood.
Now it's second semester and my #1 Fraternity choice chose not to take a pledge class. I was denied from my #2 choice, which pissed me off since I brought three friends with me, two of which didn't think they were going to rush before I made them come with me. Then I got denied out of the four of us. I was angry, and my day was shit that day, but they were my #2 and I don't really give a shit about losing out on my #2 when I'm very sure I'll get into my #1.
So where is this going? This going to ask you guys about any fraternity experiences you all may have had. I know I'm going to be a PIKE if I get their bid as a Sophomore first semester and I'm going to make my schedule easy so I can do that; if I don't get the bid, I'll just spend the extra time playing hockey so I can get good enough to play travel hockey in 4 years. I'd like to know if any of you have advice for me.
Before I end this, I'd like to make it clear I'm not joining a fraternity to meet girls. I'm doing it for the brotherhood. I'm not doing it to cover my alcohol expenses or for any shitty reason like that. I'm doing it for me and because I like the guys at my school's PIKE. Yes I love the party scene they throw, but that's a positive that isn't my #1, that's far from the top. I like the guys sober and that's a big thing for me. With that said, do you guys have any advice or stories to lay on me?
 
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Several frats asked me if I wanted to join considering I knew a lot of those guys and girls from the sororities but I like to march to the beat of my own drum and they were already my friends heh.
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United States97276 Posts
Do you have any friends that are already in Pike? If you have friends there already and go to their social events, hang out at their house more often and meet a lot more of the brothers it will make it a lot easier to get a bid if that's what you really want. Fraternities are still basically recruiting all the time even outside of rush. It'll also give you a good chance to figure out what you really think about the place imo. Another thing is a lot of sports are actually pretty similar to fraternities. I'm not exactly sure how it is at your school but here at GT a lot of the club sports teams still have an off campus house where a bunch of people live together and everyone pretty much hangs out there on the weekends. Hockey is actually one of the big ones that does that here. If you end up not joining a fraternity, you could always look into doing that or some other sort of club. It's still a pretty good way to meet people.
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On January 27 2014 03:37 StarStruck wrote:
Several frats asked me if I wanted to join considering I knew a lot of those guys and girls from the sororities but I like to march to the beat of my own drum and they were already my friends heh.
Yah, what's the point of joining a frat when you have all the benefits anyways? That was always my line of thinking
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On January 27 2014 03:41 Whatson wrote:Show nested quote +On January 27 2014 03:37 StarStruck wrote:
Several frats asked me if I wanted to join considering I knew a lot of those guys and girls from the sororities but I like to march to the beat of my own drum and they were already my friends heh. Yah, what's the point of joining a frat when you have all the benefits anyways? That was always my line of thinking
There's a lot that goes on behind the scenes. You can go to the parties, but from what I've seen, people meet a lot more people when they are in the fraternities. Between formals and swaps etc. I'm personally not single, so it's not the option of getting girls that makes me want to do this. Another thing fraternities give is alumni relations and the ability to get connection out which is good for a guy like me.
On January 27 2014 03:38 Shellshock wrote:
Do you have any friends that are already in Pike? If you have friends there already and go to their social events, hang out at their house more often and meet a lot more of the brothers it will make it a lot easier to get a bid if that's what you really want. Fraternities are still basically recruiting all the time even outside of rush. It'll also give you a good chance to figure out what you really think about the place imo. Another thing is a lot of sports are actually pretty similar to fraternities. I'm not exactly sure how it is at your school but here at GT a lot of the club sports teams still have an off campus house where a bunch of people live together and everyone pretty much hangs out there on the weekends. Hockey is actually one of the big ones that does that here. If you end up not joining a fraternity, you could always look into doing that or some other sort of club. It's still a pretty good way to meet people.
I've been there pretty much all the time. They were the first rush event I went to and even when they are just hanging out and opening up the house I'm over there since I like the guys. In regards to what you said about living, the school has a restriction on living in the houses. I wish I could. I'll be in dorms with other students, I can choose to room with brothers, but that's about it unfortunately. I'd have to transfer to live in a house. Hockey here is a club sport and not NCAA, and the team is pretty small, though the community around it in the area is huge. It's kinda funny how a tiny little southern city could have such a hockey pull.
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United States97276 Posts
GPA shouldn't be a problem because that's mostly about just keeping yourself disciplined and going to class and studying imo. If you don't have a problem now you probably won't after joining. I guess the other thing you have to think about is what you would get out of joining. You said you already hang out with a lot of them and I know people that just hang out at fraternities and/or with the people without ever joining them. I guess you just have to evaluate how much the membership means to you and if that benefits of joining outweigh the cost.
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Frats are great for networking as I understand it ... but other than that, I'm not too sure of the benefits myself.
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My history teacher told me people who join frats and sororities have higher gpas due to access of previoud test materiL from other members in the group.
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dont you have to pay a 1000$ fee to join a frat/
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Something something finals clubs.
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On January 27 2014 05:34 Smurfett3 wrote:
dont you have to pay a 1000$ fee to join a frat/
Not exactly. It's about 1000 per year as a pledge, it goes down once I become an active because I don't need pledge insurance, etc. I will say that the costs of fraternities do vary, but there are also scholarships I could pursue if I really needed to.
On January 27 2014 05:19 MysteryMeat1 wrote:
My history teacher told me people who join frats and sororities have higher gpas due to access of previoud test materiL from other members in the group.
That usually has to do with them having test bank answers at larger schools where professors almost always use large-scale testing/grading methods. I go to a small school even though the former is what I like better. Basically that doesn't work since the professors hand grade the material with little TA help. It's possible they can help by explaining material to me, but the tacit kind of cheating he's talking about doesn't really exist here.
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My advice is to not join a frat/soror.... the people are cool, but I'd much rather learn to get to know people as me and develop a bond of brotherhood/deep friendship, not have them artificially created through manufactured 'intense experiences'.
but, you do you
edit: my freshman year, guys at a frat I liked tried to get me to join them, I declined but we ended up being friends naturally. Not with all of them, but quite a few
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Bisutopia19299 Posts
I hope your PIKE house is better then the ones at UCF in Orlando and UF in Gainesville Florida. Both of those shut down for rape and much worse  . But seeing as you are one of the quality posters on TL and have a protoss icon I know you will make good choices. So go for it and have a blast.
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I'm still trying to decide whether to join a fraternity or not. I'd appreciate a follow up blog sometime in the future.
On January 27 2014 05:19 MysteryMeat1 wrote:
My history teacher told me people who join frats and sororities have higher gpas due to access of previoud test materiL from other members in the group.
I think it could also be that going Greek gives you a network of older students that are likely to help you. Also, the costs of being Greek exclude poorer students, who in many cases don't do as well in school. There are lots of variables here.
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Why not AEPi docvoc?
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On January 27 2014 06:34 Chocolate wrote:I'm still trying to decide whether to join a fraternity or not. I'd appreciate a follow up blog sometime in the future. Show nested quote +On January 27 2014 05:19 MysteryMeat1 wrote:
My history teacher told me people who join frats and sororities have higher gpas due to access of previoud test materiL from other members in the group. I think it could also be that going Greek gives you a network of older students that are likely to help you. Also, the costs of being Greek exclude poorer students, who in many cases don't do as well in school. There are lots of variables here.
docvoc already mentioned the usual reason. A lot of frats have test banks, where students just keep previous tests and pass them down to whoever needs 'em in addition to helping each other with work and such.
Some frats also have GPA reqs.
I don't necessarily think that poorer students do worse than rich/middle-class students in university. You can easily argue that the fact they got into university in the first place while being poor says good things about their work ethic.
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Docvoc, are you enjoying college as a whole? I remember you talking about how you didn't go to your first choice because of a dumb decision to go to a school cause of your gf at the time, but I never found out if you ended up being happy with your decision in the end.
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I joined a fraternity for 2 years, but dropped out because the dues were too high, the meetings were a waste of time, and i had a different perspective than most of the members. All they wanted to do every weekend, and even weekday was to drink and party. I didn't do any of that and there fore was not very close to them.
I didn't regret joining because It was cool to be in part of the rituals and stuff, plus i was curious to see what it was all about.
But at the end of the day, fraternities are not for me.
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Oh I think I know where you go to school. Would you say it's egalitarian, or elitist? I ask because I'm fine in social situations, but my interests are a bit different from what you would expect of stereotypical fratbros (science/research rather than lacrosse). I know the university probably has a lot of people like me, but are they the kind of people that join fraternities? There's a pretty high chance that I'll be attending the same school as you by Fall.
NVM you go to a different school but they're both pretty similar so I'd still like to know.
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Please don't join Pike, at my school they were the date-rape frat. Their sister sorority DPhie does have a lot of 10/10 girls though.
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On January 27 2014 09:05 MtlGuitarist97 wrote:
Docvoc, are you enjoying college as a whole? I remember you talking about how you didn't go to your first choice because of a dumb decision to go to a school cause of your gf at the time, but I never found out if you ended up being happy with your decision in the end.
I actually am. I went through a really low low. Worst depression of my life by far early on in the semester. I matured a lot since then. One of the things I changed was my outlook. Instead of me just unluckily being at a school I felt I could do better than, I took where I'm at as an opportunity. It's a long story, but in the end I'd say that Rhodes is a good place for me, even if I feel like it's not what I want in a college, the people I know here, make it not boring. If it gets boring I will leave, when it's not fun anymore, I'll go, but for now I'll just let it ride. I'm having a good time, I'm generally well liked, I excel at the academics, and there is no reason to make my life hard at this level because I know I want to go to graduate school. Plus, if I ever got so restless I didn't want to be in college, I could just go abroad for a year and take classes at different universities abroad that I just wouldn't transfer the credits back. I'm pretty happy where I am right now honestly.
On January 27 2014 09:48 iamho wrote:
Please don't join Pike, at my school they were the date-rape frat. Their sister sorority DPhie does have a lot of 10/10 girls though.
That's what I was afraid of at my school, but that ended up being the SAE here. The pikes here are awesome and though they haze kinda hard, it's worth it imo. The Sororities here don't really buddy up with fraternities too too much, but I see a lot of Deltas and other local university sorority girls at their parties so it's usually pretty well spread out. I'm not in it for the girls though, it's the guys that I really like at Pike honestly.
Also, WoS, we don't have an AEPi at Rhodes haha.
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In my experience frats are really different depending on what school you are at. Im here at West Chester (pennsylvania) and every.single.frat.bro. here is a scumbag that I hope gets hit by a car. I dont know what it is with this area, but you are either in a frat or you HATE the frats here. That simple.
Ive visited friends at Virginia tech and Penn state, and I thought they were really cool. not only were the guys in the frats cool, but they have designated drivers, people to buy you alcohol, and cool stuff like that to enhance the college experience. but here, being in a frat is like a license to act like a douchebag at every turn.
Theres not a single perk to being in a frat here. the people that join them here are the kinds of people that will happily wait 3 hours in line to get into the nightclub just to be seen at the nightclub. its just a money and time drain as far as I can tell.
Anyway thats my frat ramble, good luck with yours
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West coast fraternity man here. I would say absolutely join if you are sure you like the guys, which it seems you do. I'm already an alumnus of my fraternity and was in it all four years of college. Like you, I had no idea what the fuck fraternities were about, but joined because I wanted friends outside of my major. Best decision ever, even before I graudated I realized what a great decision it was to take that initial leap of faith, accept my bid, and join a brotherhood. Two years after college, I can honestly tell you that I still keep in constant contact with lots of guys from my chapter and it's been extremely exicting to see my best friends get married, get into graduate programs, get real jobs, and be part of it all. Although real life keeps me busy during the weekdays, I still have a very fun schedule for most weekends. Plus, with social media nowadays, it's easy to keep in touch.
Job opportunities aside, being in a fraternity also gives you some options to stay involved with your school through your chapter. I really like interacting with and meeting new college students, so I decided to stay on as my chapters scholarship advisor.
Of course, results are not typical, and the biggest reasons your experience will either be good or bad are 1. the quality of the men in your fraternity and 2. your own effort and attitude.
GLHF
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I'm really glad you're doing good, and not in a pit anymore.
It's a long story, but in the end I'd say that Rhodes is a good place for me, even if I feel like it's not what I want in a college, the people I know here, make it not boring. If it gets boring I will leave, when it's not fun anymore, I'll go, but for now I'll just let it ride. I'm having a good time, I'm generally well liked, I excel at the academics, and there is no reason to make my life hard at this level because I know I want to go to graduate school.
I've got to say it though. I know I don't have a good read, I don't know everything about the situation, but please keep this in mind:If its a question with College, or no College, College is a big deal, regardless of where you go. You're empowered to get a good job (plus the whole, y'know, broadening intellectual horizons), either your parents are paying for it, or your future self (through loans). Either way, it isn't free.
Undergraduate subject matter isn't super hard, or important. What matters is that you learn to whup yourself enough to grind, and get the work done, no matter what it is, no matter how hard it is. You learn to discipline yourself to complete it. It's a painful experience, but think of how empowered you become, if you learn to overcome just about any adversity. This is your academy, get the most from your training.
Fun. Good Time. Generally Well Liked. Without these, it'll be a miserable and terribly painful experience, probably unbearable. But that's not the whole goal either, that's not what it's about. Whenever I really need to feel motivated to do my work, I imagine my dream is to become a BW progamer. But before glory, OSL, mainstage, and SKT house, I've got to win courage. I've got to fucking win courage. In that mindset, I'd put absolutely ALL my effort into training to the best of my ability. Playing BW as a job would be great fun, a good time, and hopefully I'd be well liked. But I'd really regret it if I pulled out immediately, if for a period those things weren't true of my experience. Even progamers lose fun at some point. That's why it's important to not base your perseverance on your current emotional state, because your feels are transitory, temperamental from day to day. Stick through it even when it's not fun or a good time. Yeah it sucks practicing BW all day, yeah courage is impossibly hard, but you've got to dream. Emotional stability and health are essential, but don't waste your life pursuing them past 'enough'. Work hard and do well, that's what you're there for. By doing so, you'll be much better setup for life, than if I pull out now.
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I joined my brotherhood on a whim more or less. From my experience it is all about what you make of it and I believe my participation changed me as a person for the better. I have several friends that I anticipate will be a lifelong friends who I met via my fraternity that I would not have met otherwise. For all the crap that fraternities get in social media (some of it rightly so), there are thousands more experiences and events helping to shape peoples lives for the better (both inside and outside the fraternity) as a direct result of fraternity actions in the USA. It is not just a vehicle for personal development but is also one for community development. Do not be afraid to be yourself to the fraternity or leave if necessary -- at the end of the day it must be the right fit for you.
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I would have never pegged you for a frat guy haha.
They're alright and vary a ton school to school. At my school, most were toolbags. I ended up bsing frats about wanting to join my second semseter because I was working a lot when I first got there. So i ended up at all the parties. Fun while it lasted, but most of them sucked. The frats at other nearby schools were better. FWIW, Pike was rapey guidos by me but your mileage varies
Hockey rules and you should join the hockey threats and root for the rangers. what position are you playing??
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