I've never had a girlfriend

On October 02 2013 06:54 Shauni wrote:
girls are never worth it, trust me

On October 02 2013 07:24 IronManSC wrote:
It sounds to me like you are inclined from peer pressure to have a girlfriend because everyone else is dating and you feel like you're "falling behind." You're nearly 21 years old, you're still really young. What I've learned over the years is that you want to be at least somewhat settled first, but most importantly you want to be an independent man. That doesn't necessarily mean living on your own, but rather you make your own decisions with integrity and that you know what you're doing/pursuing in life. Focus on this first, because women love a guy who can take care of himself and keep himself busy, just like how men love a woman who can be independent.

The other thing is that high school and early college dating isn't generally the wisest path to go down. It works for some or many people, i'm sure, but for most not really. I dated 6 girls between sophomore year of high school and junior year of college, and none lasted longer than 8 months. Sweet girls, but they weren't for me. The maturity fluctuates a lot. It's not that you can't understand girls or vice versa at that level, it just means people are not really set in life, and to get involved in a relationship in those circumstances only adds to the stress. There's too much pressure from academics and other aspects of life and maturity that can conflict with your personal choices in a relationship. People still have growing up to do in the college life. The fact is, you won't understand women completely, be it 5 years of marriage or 30 years. Women won't understand men completely either.

The questions you need to ask yourself are can I take care of myself right now? and Do I know what I want to do in life?, and others like those. If you aren't fully confident in who you are or where you're headed in life (career-wise), then how are you going to know how to uphold a relationship with a woman who wants you to be that man? A woman is not the answer to your life. I would focus on yourself first and really get set in stone with finances and what career you may want before you make the decision to take care of a woman, but if you wallow up your self-esteem and wonder why girls don't like you or whatever, then you're going to have a tougher time maintaining a potentially good relationship down the road.

But, I am only speaking from particular experiences and people I know. Some do just fine if they date throughout college and get married afterwards. My only advice to you is to simply not worry about a relationship at this point and just focus on what you want to do in life. She'll come around naturally when the time is right.

On October 02 2013 07:25 ninazerg wrote:
21 is pretty young still. I don't think you should beat yourself up for that very reason.

I also don't know what a Fkk is.

On October 02 2013 06:54 Shauni wrote:
girls are never worth it, trust me

On October 02 2013 07:40 RedTail wrote:
I disagree with the sentiment that you have to get yourself fully good on what you want to do and then afterwards worry about romance. You can do both at the same time. If you forget about women and focus on career or just wait for one to come along it may not happen (or at least a lot longer than you want it to.)

The problem is that, looking into my relationships, I don't know what I did wrong. I've tried my luck with 4 girls in my life, and I succedeed with two. Well partially succedeed. I mean that I was able to achieve the "kiss" status (forgive me for the use of the words), but I wasn't able to push it further. With both.

On October 02 2013 06:23 JonIrenicus wrote:
The problem is that, looking into my relationships, I don't know what I did wrong.

**SNIP**

I'm a really kind guy, and I never lied to any girl. I was always someone who would willingly give his best if he could to the other girlfriend he was trying to meet.

On October 02 2013 06:54 Shauni wrote:
girls are never worth it, trust me

On October 02 2013 08:24 QuanticHawk wrote:

yeah just stick to smelling coats

On October 02 2013 07:26 v1dom wrote:


Nailed it.

On October 02 2013 08:26 Shauni wrote:


Nailed what? His post is just old fashioned and backwards. Have your finance and career set in stone before entering a relationship? I hope that's some kind of terrible joke.

On October 02 2013 08:41 IronManSC wrote:


I didn't say have your life all figured out first. I just said it's better to know who you are and what you're aiming for; an ambition to pursue something in life. A woman would much rather date this type of guy (even if he isn't 100% sure what he wants to do yet) than a guy who sits inside all day and applies online to jobs without having any ambition to learn something more.

I don't know if the OP has a career path figured out yet or what, but based on his lower self-esteem and confidence in pursuing women, according to how he worded it, I'd say he would be better off getting his priorities in line first (to an extent at least), before going woman hunting because that won't really solve anything, especially at the age of 20. He would likely be more desperate and clingy in trying to get a girl to like him and trying to play the game right. It appears he wants a girlfriend just so that he can have a girlfriend. It's not the right mindset to have.

But that's also why I said this in the last part of my post:

But, I am only speaking from particular experiences and people I know. Some do just fine if they date throughout college and get married afterwards. My only advice to you is to simply not worry about a relationship at this point and just focus on what you want to do in life. She'll come around naturally when the time is right.

On October 02 2013 08:45 Feartheguru wrote:
Why is Shauni of all people making fun of other peoples' advice....

On October 02 2013 08:41 IronManSC wrote:


I didn't say have your life all figured out first. I just said it's better to know who you are and what you're aiming for; an ambition to pursue something in life. A woman would much rather date this type of guy (even if he isn't 100% sure what he wants to do yet) than a guy who sits inside all day and applies online to jobs without having any ambition to learn something more.

I don't know if the OP has a career path figured out yet or what, but based on his lower self-esteem and confidence in pursuing women, according to how he worded it, I'd say he would be better off getting his priorities in line first (to an extent at least), before going woman hunting because that won't really solve anything, especially at the age of 20. He would likely be more desperate and clingy in trying to get a girl to like him and trying to play the game right. It appears he wants a girlfriend just so that he can have a girlfriend. It's not the right mindset to have.

But that's also why I said this in the last part of my post:

But, I am only speaking from particular experiences and people I know. Some do just fine if they date throughout college and get married afterwards. My only advice to you is to simply not worry about a relationship at this point and just focus on what you want to do in life. She'll come around naturally when the time is right.

On October 02 2013 08:26 Shauni wrote:


Nailed what? His post is just old fashioned and backwards. Have your finance and career set in stone before entering a relationship? I hope that's some kind of terrible joke.

On October 02 2013 09:19 MaxField wrote:


Completely agree with this guy (not the super long quote). Relationships need not be put on hold just because your life is not perfect, if so we would all be the last generation because rarely is anyone at that perfect level. Relationships can come at any time and any kinda trouble. Ya, even highschool losers have girlfriends, and I doubt most of them have anything in their life in order. Of course having more time to dedicate to your "girl" is never a bad thing, but don
t worry man, you can do it

On October 02 2013 12:42 Burrfoot wrote:
My go to advice for this type of blog:

Get on CL/match/whatever.

Message as many FAT chicks as possible, of all ethnicities - even those you aren't comfortable with. Chat them, up, go on a date, and get them alone somehow.

They will put out.

100% guaranteed.

Confidence boosted.

Then work on skinny ones.

On October 02 2013 06:54 Shauni wrote:
girls are never worth it, trust me

On October 02 2013 07:24 IronManSC wrote:
It sounds to me like you are inclined from peer pressure to have a girlfriend because everyone else is dating and you feel like you're "falling behind." You're nearly 21 years old, you're still really young. What I've learned over the years is that you want to be at least somewhat settled first, but most importantly you want to be an independent man. That doesn't necessarily mean living on your own, but rather you make your own decisions with integrity and that you know what you're doing/pursuing in life. Focus on this first, because women love a guy who can take care of himself and keep himself busy, just like how men love a woman who can be independent.

The other thing is that high school and early college dating isn't generally the wisest path to go down. It works for some or many people, i'm sure, but for most not really. I dated 6 girls between sophomore year of high school and junior year of college, and none lasted longer than 8 months. Sweet girls, but they weren't for me. The maturity fluctuates a lot. It's not that you can't understand girls or vice versa at that level, it just means people are not really set in life, and to get involved in a relationship in those circumstances only adds to the stress. There's too much pressure from academics and other aspects of life and maturity that can conflict with your personal choices in a relationship. People still have growing up to do in the college life. The fact is, you won't understand women completely, be it 5 years of marriage or 30 years. Women won't understand men completely either.

The questions you need to ask yourself are can I take care of myself right now? and Do I know what I want to do in life?, and others like those. If you aren't fully confident in who you are or where you're headed in life (career-wise), then how are you going to know how to uphold a relationship with a woman who wants you to be that man? A woman is not the answer to your life. I would focus on yourself first and really get set in stone with finances and what career you may want before you make the decision to take care of a woman, but if you wallow up your self-esteem and wonder why girls don't like you or whatever, then you're going to have a tougher time maintaining a potentially good relationship down the road.

But, I am only speaking from particular experiences and people I know. Some do just fine if they date throughout college and get married afterwards. My only advice to you is to simply not worry about a relationship at this point and just focus on what you want to do in life. She'll come around naturally when the time is right.

On October 02 2013 08:26 Shauni wrote:


Nailed what? His post is just old fashioned and backwards. Have your finance and career set in stone before entering a relationship? I hope that's some kind of terrible joke.

On October 02 2013 08:07 U_G_L_Y wrote:
Watch your replays, bro

Nice guys finish last. Your insecurity, your willingness to do whatever it takes, is exactly your problem.

You need confidence. I don't know how to help you acquire it, but that is what you lack.

Edit: Here's a suggestion to get rid of your pussy attitude:
Lift weights at least twice a week for a year. Like, do a real program, don't just half ass it;
12 sets of 10 reps for chest exercises (Bench press and flies, if you don't have a spotter, use a machine)
6 sets of 10 curls, (no swinging your back!)
6 sets of 10 triceps exercises (cable pulldowns, chair dips, overhead extensions, etc)

Do these with enough weight that you fail on or very near the 10th rep of each set. Drink a protein shake with 60g protein and 5 g creatine every day. If you are fat, stop drinking soda and eating cookies. If you are scrawny, eat until you are ready to puke, 5 times a day.

This will give you the confidence you lack. You will realize that you are an awesome person, and with that knowledge, you will have no problems getting girls.

If you want to stay in Gold league and continue to not make workers and get supply blocked because you aren't dedicated to achieving your goal, that's fine too.

On October 02 2013 22:01 Heat_023 wrote:

Facepalm. You compare relationships or even life to the skills of a game. Life is no game, it has no static primary objective unless you set one. But in your case, even though you might be in the diamond league of "having big arms, having money and -getting- girls (but not keeping them)", I fully expect you to be a silver leaguer in "having a significant life, being in a loving relationship, having a creative existence". In fact you probably got demoted there once you figured out that confidence should be based on creatine intake, and that your main goal was to attract a sad girl looking for a douchebag.

To the op I will only say this : chill out, know yourself and love

On October 02 2013 22:01 Heat_023 wrote:

Facepalm. You compare relationships or even life to the skills of a game. Life is no game, it has no static primary objective unless you set one. But in your case, even though you might be in the diamond league of "having big arms, having money and -getting- girls (but not keeping them)", I fully expect you to be a silver leaguer in "having a significant life, being in a loving relationship, having a creative existence". In fact you probably got demoted there once you figured out that confidence should be based on creatine intake, and that your main goal was to attract a sad girl looking for a douchebag.

To the op I will only say this : chill out, know yourself and love

On October 03 2013 02:31 U_G_L_Y wrote:

The OP stated his objective, and I told him how to achieve it.

I am married 10 years in June, and you are right, success in a relationship requires different behaviors than successfully initiating a relationship. I but almost no girl will respect someone that doesn't respect themselves, and you cannot love someone that you don't respect.

On October 03 2013 02:58 beachbeachy wrote:


That is simply not true. Ever heard of unconditional love? I understand where you're coming from and I guess I'm just arguing semantics, but I would have worded that differently.

On October 03 2013 02:31 U_G_L_Y wrote:
The OP stated his objective, and I told him how to achieve it.

I am married 10 years in June, and you are right, success in a relationship requires different behaviors than successfully initiating a relationship. I but almost no girl will respect someone that doesn't respect themselves, and you cannot love someone that you don't respect.

On October 03 2013 03:08 LaNague wrote:
i would advice against forcing a relationship just because you feel like you need to get a girlfriend now.
After a few months you will get very annoyed.


You will probably know it yourself when you meet a good fit.

On October 03 2013 05:10 Heat_023 wrote:

Sorry for being mean, and thank you for the intelligent response.

I feel like people pressure themselves too much. A relationship, in my experience, shouldn't be seen as achievements to unlock nor should one consider a girlfriend a goal to reach

On October 05 2013 01:11 EngrishTeacher wrote:
His choice of diction and just overall wording really made me lol.

It's ok bro, my advice for you is to stop thinking about sex and it will happen. When you try too hard girls get turned off, trust me on this one.

On October 02 2013 06:23 JonIrenicus wrote:
The problem is that, looking into my relationships, I don't know what I did wrong. I've tried my luck with 4 girls in my life, and I succedeed with two. Well partially succedeed. I mean that I was able to achieve the "kiss" status (forgive me for the use of the words), but I wasn't able to push it further. With both.

On October 06 2013 00:58 MountainDewJunkie wrote:
I was going to defend you but

I can't tell if you mean to imply that "further" mean sexual progression over the other progressions of an actual relationship. If you adhere to the former, I think I found your problem.