On September 21 2013 10:35 Fumanchu wrote:
Whatever you do in life, for the love of God never date someone from work.
Whatever you do in life, for the love of God never date someone from work.
Don't shit where you eat.
Blogs > Shauni |
Jerubaal
United States7675 Posts
On September 21 2013 10:35 Fumanchu wrote: Whatever you do in life, for the love of God never date someone from work. Don't shit where you eat. | ||
KwarK
United States40728 Posts
Let's begin. You describe this girl as "a now-defiant fish." What or whom is she defying? It is important to analyze your word usage here. Defiance typically denotes a resistance to some kind of power or authority. You have no power or authority over this woman. She is defying nothing by saying "I don't want anything to do with you." She is clearly communicating that she does not want to engage with you on any level that is not absolutely necessary ("At present, the only (non work related) things she will say are things like 'don't touch me' and 'don't look at me'."). To reiterate, this woman has communicated a boundary to you. When someone communicates boundaries to you, it is important that you respect those boundaries. I am not a licensed professional, but here is some information on respecting others' boundaries and why it is important. I think it would also be beneficial to you to read up on how to respond to someone who does not respect your personal boundaries so that there are not any questions remaining about why this woman is acting the way she is. On September 21 2013 07:51 Shauni wrote: I used to joke a bit with her, mostly innocent (beta) things and sometimes when she asked me (stupid) questions I wouldn't answer but just stare at her sheepishly. ... It was a bit tense at first, she'd try to change her hours so she wouldn't work with me/ Okay. When you are trying to make polite small talk/conversation with someone and they just stare and you, that's unnerving. "Um... did he not hear me? What is he thinking about? Oh god, he's just staring at me and not saying anything..." If it happens often enough, it's irritating. I think you're leaving something out of this part of the story, because it doesn't follow that the timeline goes from you staring at her to her trying to switch her hours to avoid you. That's fine, you don't have to tell us what the missing piece is, but you do need to identify it to yourself and think about why those actions caused her to feel unsafe or uncomfortable enough around you to avoid you like this. Apparently this annoyed her greatly and transformed her into a gigantic bitch (yet a kind bitch to everyone else). There is no reason you should call this woman a bitch for wishing to feel safe and comfortable in her work environment. There is nothing bitchy about that action. I'd comment on silly stuff like her fingernails being uneven or smell her jacket and she'd freak out at me. I did these stupid things mostly out of frustration of her emotionally dead state toward me Smelling someone's jacket is weird. I don't know what else to say about that one. She freaked out at you because you'd done it after she'd made attempts to distance herself from you because you were making her uncomfortable. The correct way to respond to a person being cold towards you is to give them the space they desire instead of acting out in order to receive more attention from them. You're a grown-ass man. Act like an adult, please. At present, the only (non work related) things she will say are things like "don't touch me" and "don't look at me". Please see the above section regarding personal boundaries. Again, she is communicating personal boundaries here. And at night, when we close the store, her boyfriend is waiting, coming up to kiss her and play with her hair as they slowly walk away... fully ignoring my existence. Yep. Fully ignoring your existence because she's stated that she does not want you to look at her, touch her, and that she does not want to be friends with you. I can almost sympathize with what acts jealously drives men to commit. Unagi is an amazing film I recently saw on this subject. Won't delve into film and art in a girl blog, but the synopsis is a man reflecting on his life and starting 'anew' after murdering his wife and her lover. Red flags everywhere. Jealous men commit acts of unspeakable brutality because they feel that they have the right to possess something that does not want to or cannot be possessed. A jealous man kills his ex-girlfriend's new partner because he feels that she belongs to him and has no free will of her own; essentially, he dehumanizes her in his mind. Not okay. Very, very not okay. This is also not-so-vaguely reminiscent of George Sodini, the Pennsylvania man who entered a health club and shot & killed three women before killing himself, citing a deep hatred for women and not having been laid since like 1990 or something. I tried to make a Skyrim model of her being...defiled. But those things are only briefly, shallowly easing my pain It's reassuring and encouraging to hear that this only brought you temporary relief. While I'm happy that you chose a safe and ultimately harmless environment in which to vent your frustrations, do not make a habit of this. I am not sure exactly what you mean by "...defiled" and I do not fully want to know, but whatever it was, acting out violence upon some kind of avatar for an actual person isn't healthy and it may lead you to dehumanize the person in your mind. Instead, consider picking up some more activities when you're feeling like defiling a Skyrim model. Pick up a couch-to-5k program, look into kayaking or rowing if you live near water, look for a crossfit class, perfect your deadlift form or pick up a used guitar and teach yourself to play. Hell, take yoga classes. That shit rules. Just channel your energy into something that ultimately improves your life by making you smarter, healthier, or just plain happier. Finally, you're right. Nothing in your post approaches love. You don't know what love is, unfortunately. I feel like you see women around you as not-quite-people who owe you things and who are bitches if they do not give you the attention you feel you deserve. You do not garner affection and love by overstepping or completely ignoring other people's boundaries or by making little Skyrim voodoo dolls and harming them. Hopefully you'll have a lot of personal development in your future and you can look back on this stage in your life and help others avoid the mistakes you made. Until then, please do not smell anyone else's jackets or employ any other attention-getting tactics when someone's not paying enough attention to you. Best wishes, good luck, safe travels, etc. e: I got so distracted reading about George Sodini that I completely skipped over this part: But a personality like a fish. Uh, what? What do you want with her in the first place if you don't even like her? Was this a creative writing exercise and I just missed the prompt? Yeesh. | ||
MountainDewJunkie
United States10340 Posts
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KwarK
United States40728 Posts
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dAPhREAk
Nauru12396 Posts
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lichter
1001 YEARS KESPAJAIL22271 Posts
On September 21 2013 13:58 dAPhREAk wrote: im picturing kwark with boobs while reading this. shit got real. (the) Freak. | ||
Azera
3800 Posts
On September 21 2013 13:58 dAPhREAk wrote: im picturing kwark with boobs while reading this. shit got real. | ||
babylon
8765 Posts
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TT1
Canada9925 Posts
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MaxField
United States2386 Posts
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Jaaaaasper
United States10225 Posts
On September 21 2013 14:34 MaxField wrote: I can't understand why she has not broken up with her boyfriend and asked you out yet. Please update when this happens! No hes has to do the asking out, it doesn't work that way. Just gotta ask her to dump her boyfriend for you and then take a big whiff of her coat. Thats sure to get results. | ||
SK.Testie
Canada11084 Posts
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rUiNati0n
United States1155 Posts
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KwarK
United States40728 Posts
On September 21 2013 14:56 rUiNati0n wrote: You should challenge the boyfriend to a race with the girl as the prize. Once she sees you beat her boyfriend she will be all over you. Did that guy ever update? | ||
lichter
1001 YEARS KESPAJAIL22271 Posts
On September 21 2013 14:56 rUiNati0n wrote: You should challenge the boyfriend to a race with the girl as the prize. Once she sees you beat her boyfriend she will be all over you. Reference: http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?topic_id=416447 On September 21 2013 15:01 KwarK wrote: Show nested quote + On September 21 2013 14:56 rUiNati0n wrote: You should challenge the boyfriend to a race with the girl as the prize. Once she sees you beat her boyfriend she will be all over you. Did that guy ever update? Nope | ||
Cool Cat
United States1644 Posts
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Chairman Ray
United States11903 Posts
On September 21 2013 13:18 KwarK wrote: Hello, this is KwarK's girlfriend. + Show Spoiler + I'm very concerned about you, Shauni. Nobody is saying it so I'm not sure if they're beating around the bush because they want to spare your feelings or if they're having too much fun at your expense, but it is important that you are told in a straightforward manner that you are extremely creepy. Just reading this post made me afraid for any women who find themselves near you. Let's begin. You describe this girl as "a now-defiant fish." What or whom is she defying? It is important to analyze your word usage here. Defiance typically denotes a resistance to some kind of power or authority. You have no power or authority over this woman. She is defying nothing by saying "I don't want anything to do with you." She is clearly communicating that she does not want to engage with you on any level that is not absolutely necessary ("At present, the only (non work related) things she will say are things like 'don't touch me' and 'don't look at me'."). To reiterate, this woman has communicated a boundary to you. When someone communicates boundaries to you, it is important that you respect those boundaries. I am not a licensed professional, but here is some information on respecting others' boundaries and why it is important. I think it would also be beneficial to you to read up on how to respond to someone who does not respect your personal boundaries so that there are not any questions remaining about why this woman is acting the way she is. On September 21 2013 07:51 Shauni wrote: I used to joke a bit with her, mostly innocent (beta) things and sometimes when she asked me (stupid) questions I wouldn't answer but just stare at her sheepishly. ... It was a bit tense at first, she'd try to change her hours so she wouldn't work with me/ Okay. When you are trying to make polite small talk/conversation with someone and they just stare and you, that's unnerving. "Um... did he not hear me? What is he thinking about? Oh god, he's just staring at me and not saying anything..." If it happens often enough, it's irritating. I think you're leaving something out of this part of the story, because it doesn't follow that the timeline goes from you staring at her to her trying to switch her hours to avoid you. That's fine, you don't have to tell us what the missing piece is, but you do need to identify it to yourself and think about why those actions caused her to feel unsafe or uncomfortable enough around you to avoid you like this. Apparently this annoyed her greatly and transformed her into a gigantic bitch (yet a kind bitch to everyone else). There is no reason you should call this woman a bitch for wishing to feel safe and comfortable in her work environment. There is nothing bitchy about that action. I'd comment on silly stuff like her fingernails being uneven or smell her jacket and she'd freak out at me. I did these stupid things mostly out of frustration of her emotionally dead state toward me Smelling someone's jacket is weird. I don't know what else to say about that one. She freaked out at you because you'd done it after she'd made attempts to distance herself from you because you were making her uncomfortable. The correct way to respond to a person being cold towards you is to give them the space they desire instead of acting out in order to receive more attention from them. You're a grown-ass man. Act like an adult, please. At present, the only (non work related) things she will say are things like "don't touch me" and "don't look at me". Please see the above section regarding personal boundaries. Again, she is communicating personal boundaries here. And at night, when we close the store, her boyfriend is waiting, coming up to kiss her and play with her hair as they slowly walk away... fully ignoring my existence. Yep. Fully ignoring your existence because she's stated that she does not want you to look at her, touch her, and that she does not want to be friends with you. I can almost sympathize with what acts jealously drives men to commit. Unagi is an amazing film I recently saw on this subject. Won't delve into film and art in a girl blog, but the synopsis is a man reflecting on his life and starting 'anew' after murdering his wife and her lover. Red flags everywhere. Jealous men commit acts of unspeakable brutality because they feel that they have the right to possess something that does not want to or cannot be possessed. A jealous man kills his ex-girlfriend's new partner because he feels that she belongs to him and has no free will of her own; essentially, he dehumanizes her in his mind. Not okay. Very, very not okay. This is also not-so-vaguely reminiscent of George Sodini, the Pennsylvania man who entered a health club and shot & killed three women before killing himself, citing a deep hatred for women and not having been laid since like 1990 or something. I tried to make a Skyrim model of her being...defiled. But those things are only briefly, shallowly easing my pain It's reassuring and encouraging to hear that this only brought you temporary relief. While I'm happy that you chose a safe and ultimately harmless environment in which to vent your frustrations, do not make a habit of this. I am not sure exactly what you mean by "...defiled" and I do not fully want to know, but whatever it was, acting out violence upon some kind of avatar for an actual person isn't healthy and it may lead you to dehumanize the person in your mind. Instead, consider picking up some more activities when you're feeling like defiling a Skyrim model. Pick up a couch-to-5k program, look into kayaking or rowing if you live near water, look for a crossfit class, perfect your deadlift form or pick up a used guitar and teach yourself to play. Hell, take yoga classes. That shit rules. Just channel your energy into something that ultimately improves your life by making you smarter, healthier, or just plain happier. Finally, you're right. Nothing in your post approaches love. You don't know what love is, unfortunately. I feel like you see women around you as not-quite-people who owe you things and who are bitches if they do not give you the attention you feel you deserve. You do not garner affection and love by overstepping or completely ignoring other people's boundaries or by making little Skyrim voodoo dolls and harming them. Hopefully you'll have a lot of personal development in your future and you can look back on this stage in your life and help others avoid the mistakes you made. Until then, please do not smell anyone else's jackets or employ any other attention-getting tactics when someone's not paying enough attention to you. Best wishes, good luck, safe travels, etc. e: I got so distracted reading about George Sodini that I completely skipped over this part: But a personality like a fish. Uh, what? What do you want with her in the first place if you don't even like her? Was this a creative writing exercise and I just missed the prompt? Yeesh. Hi Kwark's girlfriend. What happens when you two get into an argument? How does arguments even work with Kwark? | ||
DefMatrixUltra
Canada1992 Posts
On September 21 2013 16:50 Chairman Ray wrote: Show nested quote + On September 21 2013 13:18 KwarK wrote: Hello, this is KwarK's girlfriend. + Show Spoiler + I'm very concerned about you, Shauni. Nobody is saying it so I'm not sure if they're beating around the bush because they want to spare your feelings or if they're having too much fun at your expense, but it is important that you are told in a straightforward manner that you are extremely creepy. Just reading this post made me afraid for any women who find themselves near you. Let's begin. You describe this girl as "a now-defiant fish." What or whom is she defying? It is important to analyze your word usage here. Defiance typically denotes a resistance to some kind of power or authority. You have no power or authority over this woman. She is defying nothing by saying "I don't want anything to do with you." She is clearly communicating that she does not want to engage with you on any level that is not absolutely necessary ("At present, the only (non work related) things she will say are things like 'don't touch me' and 'don't look at me'."). To reiterate, this woman has communicated a boundary to you. When someone communicates boundaries to you, it is important that you respect those boundaries. I am not a licensed professional, but here is some information on respecting others' boundaries and why it is important. I think it would also be beneficial to you to read up on how to respond to someone who does not respect your personal boundaries so that there are not any questions remaining about why this woman is acting the way she is. On September 21 2013 07:51 Shauni wrote: I used to joke a bit with her, mostly innocent (beta) things and sometimes when she asked me (stupid) questions I wouldn't answer but just stare at her sheepishly. ... It was a bit tense at first, she'd try to change her hours so she wouldn't work with me/ Okay. When you are trying to make polite small talk/conversation with someone and they just stare and you, that's unnerving. "Um... did he not hear me? What is he thinking about? Oh god, he's just staring at me and not saying anything..." If it happens often enough, it's irritating. I think you're leaving something out of this part of the story, because it doesn't follow that the timeline goes from you staring at her to her trying to switch her hours to avoid you. That's fine, you don't have to tell us what the missing piece is, but you do need to identify it to yourself and think about why those actions caused her to feel unsafe or uncomfortable enough around you to avoid you like this. Apparently this annoyed her greatly and transformed her into a gigantic bitch (yet a kind bitch to everyone else). There is no reason you should call this woman a bitch for wishing to feel safe and comfortable in her work environment. There is nothing bitchy about that action. I'd comment on silly stuff like her fingernails being uneven or smell her jacket and she'd freak out at me. I did these stupid things mostly out of frustration of her emotionally dead state toward me Smelling someone's jacket is weird. I don't know what else to say about that one. She freaked out at you because you'd done it after she'd made attempts to distance herself from you because you were making her uncomfortable. The correct way to respond to a person being cold towards you is to give them the space they desire instead of acting out in order to receive more attention from them. You're a grown-ass man. Act like an adult, please. At present, the only (non work related) things she will say are things like "don't touch me" and "don't look at me". Please see the above section regarding personal boundaries. Again, she is communicating personal boundaries here. And at night, when we close the store, her boyfriend is waiting, coming up to kiss her and play with her hair as they slowly walk away... fully ignoring my existence. Yep. Fully ignoring your existence because she's stated that she does not want you to look at her, touch her, and that she does not want to be friends with you. I can almost sympathize with what acts jealously drives men to commit. Unagi is an amazing film I recently saw on this subject. Won't delve into film and art in a girl blog, but the synopsis is a man reflecting on his life and starting 'anew' after murdering his wife and her lover. Red flags everywhere. Jealous men commit acts of unspeakable brutality because they feel that they have the right to possess something that does not want to or cannot be possessed. A jealous man kills his ex-girlfriend's new partner because he feels that she belongs to him and has no free will of her own; essentially, he dehumanizes her in his mind. Not okay. Very, very not okay. This is also not-so-vaguely reminiscent of George Sodini, the Pennsylvania man who entered a health club and shot & killed three women before killing himself, citing a deep hatred for women and not having been laid since like 1990 or something. I tried to make a Skyrim model of her being...defiled. But those things are only briefly, shallowly easing my pain It's reassuring and encouraging to hear that this only brought you temporary relief. While I'm happy that you chose a safe and ultimately harmless environment in which to vent your frustrations, do not make a habit of this. I am not sure exactly what you mean by "...defiled" and I do not fully want to know, but whatever it was, acting out violence upon some kind of avatar for an actual person isn't healthy and it may lead you to dehumanize the person in your mind. Instead, consider picking up some more activities when you're feeling like defiling a Skyrim model. Pick up a couch-to-5k program, look into kayaking or rowing if you live near water, look for a crossfit class, perfect your deadlift form or pick up a used guitar and teach yourself to play. Hell, take yoga classes. That shit rules. Just channel your energy into something that ultimately improves your life by making you smarter, healthier, or just plain happier. Finally, you're right. Nothing in your post approaches love. You don't know what love is, unfortunately. I feel like you see women around you as not-quite-people who owe you things and who are bitches if they do not give you the attention you feel you deserve. You do not garner affection and love by overstepping or completely ignoring other people's boundaries or by making little Skyrim voodoo dolls and harming them. Hopefully you'll have a lot of personal development in your future and you can look back on this stage in your life and help others avoid the mistakes you made. Until then, please do not smell anyone else's jackets or employ any other attention-getting tactics when someone's not paying enough attention to you. Best wishes, good luck, safe travels, etc. e: I got so distracted reading about George Sodini that I completely skipped over this part: But a personality like a fish. Uh, what? What do you want with her in the first place if you don't even like her? Was this a creative writing exercise and I just missed the prompt? Yeesh. Hi Kwark's girlfriend. What happens when you two get into an argument? How does arguments even work with Kwark? Here's how arguments with KwarK go, from my experience. Let's say there is disagreement over point A. There are two possibilities: 1) KwarK is right about point A. In this case, he states that he is right over and over, referencing the data at hand and perhaps demonstrating using a sophisticated but silly analogy. Also you are literally the dumbest person he has ever had a disagreement with. 2) KwarK is wrong about point A. This case is much more complex. KwarK's end goal is to be right. He knows he is right about point C and wants to make use of his giant vault of rightness. His plan is to open the vault of rightness at C and have the contents spill out so that B and A become drenched with the odor of his rightness. KwarK constructs an extremely clever counterpoint to your argument about A that does not address A at all but addresses B. At this point, you are being baited to respond to B. Once you do, the trap is sprung! KwarK pulls out C, something he knows he is right about (refer to 1). You just got dunked. --------------------------- In order to successfully argue with KwarK, you need to 1) Be right about A. 2) Don't get baited into talking about B. The More You Know *rainbow shit* | ||
BlitzerSC
Italy8800 Posts
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