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Hey guys, my name is Steven and my handle is Corazón. I am a longtime lurker on TL (about 1970+ of my posts have been in the mafia section) and I thought I would share a really long story with you. Perhaps I might add a TL;DR section, but for now it might be a very long story.
I know that a lot of people are getting back into high school, and some may be starting it for the first time. I like to tell stories and I thought I would share mine with the fine people here at TL and perhaps give some advice to others to take from this story about how to experience high school and how to feel about it afterwards.
Before I begin, I would like to preface this story with the statement that I regret absolutely nothing that happened in this story. Sure it will seem like a disappointing story, but I believe that everything happens for a reason. Some moments make me wish I could live them again and some moments make me want to facepalm and make fun of myself. Such is life, am I right? Also, this blog is going to be about 80% girl blog and 20% story blog.
Physically, I am average looking. I am very tall and skinny (started high school 6'0 and 145 lbs, graduated at 6'4 and 160 lbs. Not too much of a change). I am just the average skinny white guy with long hair. Not much to say in that department. I never cared about looks. I did not need girls surrounding me every second of my life. My favorite quote (I believe it is from The Twilight Zone) is "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder". I have never heard any truer of a statement. I see adult couples where both of them are not visually attractive to me, so I know that someone is going to like the way I look and all I have to do is be myself and control my acne (which has been a problem but it's looking way better now).
Now that I am not on a tangent anymore, let the story begin. The first few parts are going to be almost all girl blog-esque because I do not remember too much else about Freshman year.
So the first crush I had in high school was with a girl named Gemma (I'm using her real name because she is a girl that I have already talked about). I actually was surprised to see that I had basically told the whole story in a different blog, which I am just going to take an excerpt from:
"When I met Gemma, we were both in 8th grade (age 13) in PE class. I'm not sure what drew us together, but I really liked talking with her and spending time with her. Over time, my feelings for her grew until it because a full on crush. Summer came and went, and through the discovery of Facebook, we were able to keep in contact. During that summer, she introduced me to her friend Lauren. For whatever reason, Lauren developed feelings for me as well and started flirting with me. The socially awkward 9th grade version of me could not realize this and I unknowingly flirted back with her, thinking I was being friendly by returning all of the "<3" messages that she gave me.
One night, Gemma, Lauren, and I went to a football game at our high school with some other friends. In America, it's basically like a friday night social event. Lauren continued flirting with me and I continued unintentionally flirting back with her. I don't even remember my interactions with Gemma that night, but I do remember the Facebook message she sent to me (I had already told her I liked her or she had figured it out, I don't really remember). In her message, she basically said that she liked me, but she saw that I was flirting with Lauren and decided that I had already moved on. I tried to tell her that I did not mean to and that I had no clue what I was doing, but she would not have any of it. After a month or so of the silent treatment, we eventually returned back to normal, although my chances of dating her were over. It still makes me facepalm when I think about that situation.
I'd like to take a pause here to talk about the influence that liking Gemma had on my interests and personality. Before I liked Gemma, I used to message people messages like "hey whts up man, how r u doin 2day?". Gemma always used proper punctuation and whole words when she texted or messaged, so I decided to copy that style and actually look intelligent. Go me. In terms of bigger changes, Gemma introduced me to The Beatles and 60s music. Before this, I would just like top 40 crap and whatever they played on Radio Disney (basically a kids station with really bad music). I never liked "slow songs" as they would bore me. When I first started listening to The Beatles, I was a bit skeptical. However, once I heard "Here Comes The Sun", I was hooked. I would listen to only Beatles music for months at a time, and I tried to look up everything about them and about other bands around them, such as The Rolling Stones. It was then that I learned about the counterculture movement of the 60s/70s and their ideals of peace and love. These were things that Gemma tried to replicate and guide her life (She is a huge hippie. She truly belongs in the 60s). For once in my life, I had music I was passionate about and ideals that I would try to shape my life around. While I never became much of a hippie, I felt like I had found something I could follow and try to be. When I told Gemma about her influence on me, she was both surprised and happy to hear that she was the big influence on me. I would say that liking her was one of the best things that happened to me, even though our relationship did not go anywhere past friends."
After Gemma had friend-zoned me, I was moderately sad. I liked her a lot and was disappointed to find out that she did not reciprocate those feelings (or did she? continuation later in the blog). However, it only bothered me for about a month and I was fine after that.
The next few months consisted of me just going to school and being normal and doing classes and basically the typical high school things. I had three minor crushes that I basically lost interest in quickly after. Also, I went to Disney World (it's pretty cool, but not worth talking about really. Only so much fun a 13-year-old can have at Disney World).
The next year, I started school again and I had my first honors and AP class. Every student who took Honors English was required to take AP European History. The classes were rotated with each other (English one day, History the next) and I had the same classmates for both classes. Needless to say, seeing the same people every day meant that we were able to bond well. There was one girl I met in that class that would shake my world and turn it upside down. I'm going to call her Rémy. She was a very short, dark-skinned girl (5'2) with very pretty eyes and the cutest smile that simply made my heart melt every time I saw it. I was completely infatuated with her. Seeing her would make my day and make my heart skip a beat. I honesty cannot remember many of our interactions when I liked her, but it is here when my first biggest flaw hurt me so badly: I cannot read other people to save my life. I had no clue whether this girl liked me or not. On the advice of my friend ("Yeah I think she likes you, she's just really shy" even though he did not know whether she liked me or not) I decided to tell her. Not in person, but over text. If you don't read any other parts of my blog, read this: DONT EVER TELL A GIRL YOU LIKE HER OR ASK HER OUT OVER TEXT. It's not a good idea.
She told me she didn't like me. Friend-zoned again.
(I'm going to break this into parts because I can tell it is getting really long and there is so much more I want to say. Part 2 (of probably 3 parts) will be out soon)
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Wait, do you actually think friend-zoning is a thing still, or did you just believe in it when you were this age?
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On September 17 2013 09:01 Chocolate wrote: Wait, do you actually think friend-zoning is a thing still, or did you just believe in it when you were this age? I think it still exists. I like a girl but she doesn't like me in that way. If she thinks of me as someone she would be friends with but would never date, it's basically friend-zoning.
I'm not sure where you are going with this but if you are going somewhere, I'd love a little enlightenment.
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On September 17 2013 11:11 cDgCorazon wrote:Show nested quote +On September 17 2013 09:01 Chocolate wrote: Wait, do you actually think friend-zoning is a thing still, or did you just believe in it when you were this age? I think it still exists. I like a girl but she doesn't like me in that way. If she thinks of me as someone she would be friends with but would never date, it's basically friend-zoning. I'm not sure where you are going with this but if you are going somewhere, I'd love a little enlightenment. na nigga thats just you being clingy/not givng up
User was warned for this post
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On September 17 2013 11:48 sLideSC2 wrote:Show nested quote +On September 17 2013 11:11 cDgCorazon wrote:On September 17 2013 09:01 Chocolate wrote: Wait, do you actually think friend-zoning is a thing still, or did you just believe in it when you were this age? I think it still exists. I like a girl but she doesn't like me in that way. If she thinks of me as someone she would be friends with but would never date, it's basically friend-zoning. I'm not sure where you are going with this but if you are going somewhere, I'd love a little enlightenment. na nigga thats just you being clingy/not givng up Friendzone=no escape
How am I being clingy?
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On September 17 2013 11:50 cDgCorazon wrote:Show nested quote +On September 17 2013 11:48 sLideSC2 wrote:On September 17 2013 11:11 cDgCorazon wrote:On September 17 2013 09:01 Chocolate wrote: Wait, do you actually think friend-zoning is a thing still, or did you just believe in it when you were this age? I think it still exists. I like a girl but she doesn't like me in that way. If she thinks of me as someone she would be friends with but would never date, it's basically friend-zoning. I'm not sure where you are going with this but if you are going somewhere, I'd love a little enlightenment. na nigga thats just you being clingy/not givng up Friendzone=no escape How am I being clingy? Ehh, not to sound like a douche or anything but really there is no such thing as "friend-zoning." If a girl wants to be your friend but nothing more then you're just that, a friend. Saying you're friend-zoned is like saying "I like her but she doesnt like me in the same way therefore it's not fair and it's friend-zoning." But really all it is is her wanting you to be a friend and thats all. Now, the reason why people think friend-zoning is a thing is because a person still has feelings (on a deeper level) for another person and since they still want to be with that person while the person you have feelings for just wants to stay friends, they look at it as a whole new thing instead of looking at what it really is, which is just the fact that you're friends and nothing more. If someone says they've been friend-zoned it just sounds like they're putting guilt on the person they like for not liking them the same way in return. It's not the persons fault, they just don't like you in the way that you like them. That doesn't mean you've been "friend-zoned" it just means they don't like you in the same way! That's how the world works with relationships. Just because a person that doesn't like you is a friend of yours, it doesn't take the situation to a whole new level where it's like "I've been friend-zoned and it's not fair" because it's people's choice who they like and don't like.
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United States744 Posts
I'm currently experiencing the typical romance stories similar to this in high school and I'm intrigued to hear about your story and possibly learn from your mistakes. I think almost everyone has a story like this, and while I think it would be ridiculous for everyone to share, it can actually be quite interesting and I can relate. Will definitely read Parts 2 and 3. All I can say is that if I am correct in predicting where this is going, I hope you learned from your mistakes and are better at handling relationships now.
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It's never fun to be denied dude, I can sympathize, but try to use the word-friendzone about 0 times. The more I hear that word, the more it makes me question the motives of people who say the word.
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being in the "friend zone" just means you're too wimpy for her to want to bang you
you can get out of it
physical and atheletic power is an attractive quality; you should go to the gym while you're still young and can grow more quickly
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I never get denied.
But that's just because I can tell when there is no point in asking.
Girls may sometimes be slightly difficult to understand because their thought processes are just different from men's, but that doesn't mean that everything they do is some kind of hard to get hint. Just try to "step outside" of the situation for a moment and wonder if her behavior is the behavior of a person that likes you. It's not that difficult.
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On September 17 2013 15:13 docvoc wrote: It's never fun to be denied dude, I can sympathize, but try to use the word-friendzone about 0 times. The more I hear that word, the more it makes me question the motives of people who say the word. ^^
I had a big banana grin reading about your "unintentional flirting", what did end up happening to Lauren?
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You've already lost if you're writing about it.
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On September 17 2013 12:30 lubu42 wrote:Show nested quote +On September 17 2013 11:50 cDgCorazon wrote:On September 17 2013 11:48 sLideSC2 wrote:On September 17 2013 11:11 cDgCorazon wrote:On September 17 2013 09:01 Chocolate wrote: Wait, do you actually think friend-zoning is a thing still, or did you just believe in it when you were this age?
I think it still exists. I like a girl but she doesn't like me in that way. If she thinks of me as someone she would be friends with but would never date, it's basically friend-zoning. I'm not sure where you are going with this but if you are going somewhere, I'd love a little enlightenment. na nigga thats just you being clingy/not givng up Friendzone=no escape How am I being clingy? Ehh, not to sound like a douche or anything but really there is no such thing as "friend-zoning." If a girl wants to be your friend but nothing more then you're just that, a friend. Saying you're friend-zoned is like saying "I like her but she doesnt like me in the same way therefore it's not fair and it's friend-zoning." But really all it is is her wanting you to be a friend and thats all. Now, the reason why people think friend-zoning is a thing is because a person still has feelings (on a deeper level) for another person and since they still want to be with that person while the person you have feelings for just wants to stay friends, they look at it as a whole new thing instead of looking at what it really is, which is just the fact that you're friends and nothing more. If someone says they've been friend-zoned it just sounds like they're putting guilt on the person they like for not liking them the same way in return. It's not the persons fault, they just don't like you in the way that you like them. That doesn't mean you've been "friend-zoned" it just means they don't like you in the same way! That's how the world works with relationships. Just because a person that doesn't like you is a friend of yours, it doesn't take the situation to a whole new level where it's like "I've been friend-zoned and it's not fair" because it's people's choice who they like and don't like. You seem to be misinformed about what the "friend-zone" actually is.
Refer to a couple post down of yours.
In regards to the OP: I would ask yourself why do you caring about this particular situation. At your age you still still most likely looking at relationships as a game, or as something that you just or should 'do'. That is a cancerous mindset that the majority of the population has.
You are concerned with being 'friend-zoned' and also a wanting a relationship?. While these two are not completely mutually exclusive, one does not necessarily entail the other. Understand if you actually want a relationship (true friendship, shared interests, caring, companionship) that anything sexual isn't necessary to obtain that. Likewise, if you are seeking casual sex, there are plenty like minded individuals that do not want a relationship or emotional attachment.
Figure out/decide what you want and go after it. Also a side note, you sound far too young (at least mentally) to be remotely worried about true relationships.
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He's quoting it
I actually was surprised to see that I had basically told the whole story in a different blog, which I am just going to take an excerpt from:
--repeated material--
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Oh I only skimmed it and got the sickest déjà vu ever which confused me.
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I knew the story sounded very similar, then I looked at the date and noticed it was written today and I was left thoroughly confused. Thanks kollin
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On September 17 2013 23:58 [UoN]Sentinel wrote:Show nested quote +On September 17 2013 15:13 docvoc wrote: It's never fun to be denied dude, I can sympathize, but try to use the word-friendzone about 0 times. The more I hear that word, the more it makes me question the motives of people who say the word. ^^ I had a big banana grin reading about your "unintentional flirting", what did end up happening to Lauren? We were friends throughout High School (although we had a couple of fights where we stopped talking for months at a time) but I feel like we are starting to drift apart, and I'm not too concerned with trying to bring us back. Sometimes you need to let friends go.
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Friend zone is basically because there was possibly a moment or a few that you had the opportunity to make a move and you chickened out, were oblivious to it, or just didn't pursue it and she moved on. The only way to get out of the friend zone is to ask her out on a date, like a legit 1 on 1 thing where you flirt, kino each other, and get a kiss if that is a fail just move on and forget about her. And/or, maybe a few months later call her up or she will call you up and want to date and this time do it right.
I have purposefully friend zoned myself a couple of times for a number of reasons. I know how to get out of it if I want to but there are reasons why I let them friend zone me.
PS- I recently discovered something between friendzone and gf, it's called 'rolldog' or 'roll dawg'. This is a term of endearment a girl will give a guy when he is semi in the friend zone and do friend zoney shit and possibly turn into NSA type of hookup(s) for drunken nights out.
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