i remember reading your older blog from back in 2010, and it's nice to see an update on how you're doing. life is tough, but the tougher life is, the stronger your character becomes. keep at it!

also, pictures make any blog better ^___^

Dagwon

Canada33 Posts

September 11 2013 18:04 GMT

#24

So... I've been wondering... do you think that being trans can be felt on a scale, much like someone can be "tall" whether they're 6' or 6'5"?

The reason I wonder is that I've always kinda felt like I should have been born male, always fit in better with the boys, and always imagined love as me being a male in love with a female (I've had both heterosexual and homosexual relationships as a girl, though, and ultimately consider myself pansexual). But... even with all of that, I don't feel any desire to undergo hormones or surgery. I feel almost like "oops, I should have a penis! But since I don't, oh well."
And, meaning no disrespect, I wonder if there aren't people farther on the "scale" than you; people who've always "known" they need to undergo a change... (And I really don't mean to imply that you're "not really transsexual" or anything like that, much like I wouldn't mean that you weren't tall just because there happens to be people taller than you).

I'm not totally hung up on whether or not I fit into the transsexual/gendered label, just curious

And... congratulations on the transformation! You look wonderful as a girl! I'm so glad you're feeling happier, too. (Does that sound creepy? lol)

P.S. I've chosen tall as my comparison/metaphor since it's something that's viewed as pretty neutral, not because I think it secretly has relevance to this topic XD

AnachronisticAnarchy

United States2957 Posts

September 11 2013 19:32 GMT

#25

Something delightfully, amazingly amusing about this blog: I may actually have transsexualism. Maybe. Also only if other trans people have extremely similar experiences to what you have had.
Fortunately for me, due to unusual circumstances, even if I became completely confident I was trans, actually acting on that information would be pointless. No need to go through the pain of the change. Learning that I am trans would be done solely for its own sake. It wouldn't be done in order to compensate for what I never knew I didn't have, due to the simple fact that I already have nothing.

shinosai

United States1577 Posts

September 11 2013 19:39 GMT

#26

On September 12 2013 03:04 Dagwon wrote:
So... I've been wondering... do you think that being trans can be felt on a scale, much like someone can be "tall" whether they're 6' or 6'5"?

The reason I wonder is that I've always kinda felt like I should have been born male, always fit in better with the boys, and always imagined love as me being a male in love with a female (I've had both heterosexual and homosexual relationships as a girl, though, and ultimately consider myself pansexual). But... even with all of that, I don't feel any desire to undergo hormones or surgery. I feel almost like "oops, I should have a penis! But since I don't, oh well."
And, meaning no disrespect, I wonder if there aren't people farther on the "scale" than you; people who've always "known" they need to undergo a change... (And I really don't mean to imply that you're "not really transsexual" or anything like that, much like I wouldn't mean that you weren't tall just because there happens to be people taller than you).

I'm not totally hung up on whether or not I fit into the transsexual/gendered label, just curious

Okay, well, the way I think of it is not being "more" trans, and the reason I avoid using that terminology, is that there was in the past a big problem with the whole "trannier than thou" kind of rhetoric that left a lot of people feeling a bit down. But anyways, I like to think of it like this:

Some people have a stronger need than others to transition. For me, the need to transition wasn't incredibly strong until I had actually started hormones. In the beginning I was like, eh, I could go either way. Once I started transitioning, I realized that I was in so much pain, but didn't *know* I was in pain because I'd never felt happiness, if that makes any sense. So yeah, some people literally feel like they're dying all the time because they haven't transitioned, and some people are like me, in that maybe they could go either way. If there was a scale, I'd probably be on the lower end I suppose.

shinosai

United States1577 Posts

September 11 2013 19:42 GMT

#27

On September 12 2013 04:32 AnachronisticAnarchy wrote:
Something delightfully, amazingly amusing about this blog: I may actually have transsexualism. Maybe. Also only if other trans people have extremely similar experiences to what you have had.
Fortunately for me, due to unusual circumstances, even if I became completely confident I was trans, actually acting on that information would be pointless. No need to go through the pain of the change. Learning that I am trans would be done solely for its own sake. It wouldn't be done in order to compensate for what I never knew I didn't have, due to the simple fact that I already have nothing.

I don't think transsexualism is something you have or haven't got. I just think that some people are happier or more comfortable as a girl or a boy, and it's not much more complicated than that. If it's not a big enough issue to act on then I wouldn't really call it transsexualism. Maybe gender curiosity? But in any case, if you really do want to be the opposite gender, many people have been where you are at (saying that change would be too painful to be worth it) only to come back in their mid 40s and 50s with deep regret.

If you don't feel strongly about it, I wouldn't do anything about it. But if the reason you're not doing it is because it's "too hard" you may have some regrets later in life.

AnachronisticAnarchy

United States2957 Posts

September 11 2013 20:23 GMT

#28

On September 12 2013 04:42 shinosai wrote:

Show nested quote +

I don't think transsexualism is something you have or haven't got. I just think that some people are happier or more comfortable as a girl or a boy, and it's not much more complicated than that. If it's not a big enough issue to act on then I wouldn't really call it transsexualism. Maybe gender curiosity? But in any case, if you really do want to be the opposite gender, many people have been where you are at (saying that change would be too painful to be worth it) only to come back in their mid 40s and 50s with deep regret.

If you don't feel strongly about it, I wouldn't do anything about it. But if the reason you're not doing it is because it's "too hard" you may have some regrets later in life.

Certainly isn't my reasoning. Like I said, the benefits are minimized or even outright nullified by my unique circumstances as well. Even if I was really high on the trans spectrum, there would be little reason to change. The positives would be almost nonexistent, and the negatives insurmountably large.

Just to clarify, my "unique circumstances" have nothing to do with any form of social pressure or the like; I'm not hesitant to act because I have a very religious family. It's all on me.