|
Let me tell you about this girl. For anonymity’s sake I’m going to call her K. Imagine a name that is trendy, spelled dumbly, and quintessential white trash. Anyway I met her at work as a CNA. Basically the job is to give old guys with dementia meds and showers. Also the unit houses only males patients, and this is because they all have a history of inappropriate conduct with females.
Anyway K gives the best showers. I’ve seen her do it. These guys come into the shower smelling like shit and piss and who knows what else. There is feces caked onto the insides of their ass cheeks, cementing them shut. She gets in there, up in there, and sanitizes every nook and cranny of their delicate bodies. Under every flap of skin, inside every hole, she makes sure that shit is clean. Each anus hair is threaded through her gloved fingers to free them of lingering dingleberries. The penis and the scrotum are lifted, gently scraped, and finally dried. Yes, I have seen all this with my own eyes. Everyone can smell the difference after her showers and you know when someone has been showered by her.
Compare this to when I give someone a shower. I pretty much stand 3 feet away, set the showerhead on its highest power, and hose the guy down like an animal. If most of the shit is on the shower floor instead of on his skin, I call it good. But with K it’s like she has no shame regarding the human body. I don’t know why but for some reason that turns me on a lot.
Let me tell you more about K. She is short and fat. Not round like a buddha but curvy, the biggest curve being her belly, followed by tits, followed by her ass. And she talks a lot, a real social butterfly, you might say. I would not say she is dumb, but she does lack education and it shows. For example, she did not know the difference between conservative and liberal.
All my powers of observation told me that I wasn’t her type. It seemed like she went for the confident guys (what else is new), who talked a lot and always had something funny to say. I am not one of those guys. One day she leaked that she had a boyfriend through casual conversation. I find girls actually do this a lot. They find a way to bring up the fact that they have a boyfriend so organically, and I have to set there and smile like it didn’t affect me at all, pretending to still care about what they are saying. Anyway, her boyfriend figured something out about her car insurance, blah, blah, blah. As soon as she said “boyfriend” a piece of my heart instantaneously went black. Later I overheard her talking on the phone with him.
“Where are you going? Portland? Aww I would have lent you some money.”
What a scrub, right?
So what do I do??? Because I am pretty much thinking about her nonstop.
  
|
Be important to her.
Make her thing about YOU.
|
|
|
What in the world?
Some details may have been completely unnecessary for this blog... think about which one and perhaps edit it for the lucky souls who have not read this yet.
|
Dont hose old people down like animals zzz. They cant help the way they are and treating them that way is pretty damn bad. When you work a job like that you have to WANT to do it or you just end up being a cunt. (Not that you are, like 3 lines in a blog doesnt tell me about you lol)
Dont be those people 
Also, Do the above and you'll be more confident, garner her attention and win her over.
|
Next time a girl tells you she has a boyfriend, try something different. Just a suggestion. But all guys who aren't confident (including me) do the same thing. It's another filter.
|
" I would not say she is dumb, but she does lack education and it shows. For example, she did not know the difference between conservative and liberal."
Hahaha
|
Don`t put her on a pedestal or anything. It sounds like you`re in the wrong job if you think being a `carer` means hosing down old people like livestock.
|
I personally couldn't stand dating engineering girls and/or intellectual equals. Its way better to be the smart person in the relationship. Then you can say stuff like "NPR just did a study that couples that engages in ritual ball washing in the shower were 45% less at risk for ovarian cancer"
|
|
|
On September 05 2013 21:18 Pandemona wrote:Also props for doing the job you do, it can't be easy but im sure the families of the patients really do thank you. 
I doubt that considering he only cleans half-ass.
|
On September 05 2013 14:27 krndandaman wrote:
kinda off tangent, but the part about not knowing the difference between a conservative and liberal made me laugh.
because I didn't know the difference until last year (college freshman) and I was a pretty good highschool student. 3.6 UW GPA, 2320 SAT's for ex. I just didn't give two shits about politics haha
Same. I still don't remember which side conservatives vs liberals are on. I don't know "left side" vs "right side" either. And I would say that I'm pretty smart. I just didn't care about politics either. All I really know is republicans vs democrats.
|
You know, wanting to be in a relationship with someone generally means that you want to be happy.
That's why we like having sex, having someone to hold in our arms, having someone to talk with, having someone to kiss...etc.
So if you suddenly got happier it would likely help you to get over someone, that won't work for everyone but it will if you also get something to do... something to "occupy" your mind with.
Imagine the time a game you really likes comes out and you buy it, you are busy playing and enjoy the game thus you don't think of much more.
So I have a genius idea that I will preach to you if you don't mind:
a) A thing that makes most mentally sane people unhappy is pealing of shit from the skin of 90 years old husks
b) A thing to keep you occupied is trying to find a job and trying to learn the job/meet the other workers/manage with a lesser income for the first few months of working the new job
So maybe, just maybe, you could try looking for a new job ?
You will be happier ( check )
It will get your mind of her ( check )
You will not see her so much if at all ( check )
Might be a bit extreme, but I can't see why this wouldn't help you a lot.
|
On September 05 2013 21:41 Epishade wrote:Show nested quote +On September 05 2013 14:27 krndandaman wrote:
kinda off tangent, but the part about not knowing the difference between a conservative and liberal made me laugh.
because I didn't know the difference until last year (college freshman) and I was a pretty good highschool student. 3.6 UW GPA, 2320 SAT's for ex. I just didn't give two shits about politics haha And I would say that I'm pretty smart.
Except far more people say that than actually are. Very few people assess themselves accurately and good luck finding ones that consider themselves 'pretty dumb' or average intellects who consider themselves average. Not knowing the difference between 'conservative' and 'liberal' might be more ignorance than a lack of intelligence but they often go hand in hand. If you're curious about the world, read and learn then you'll inevitably hear about this stuff.
|
i'm a girlblog fiend/ all drama queened
but today i gleaned/ that my mind needs cleaned
Yeah, usually i just want to talk drama but today i realized that uncomfortable shit is actually much more enlightening. Like in the back of my mind i know theres people out there who can't wipe their own ass *see "how do obese people wipe their ass" and old people who have history with women and can't shower but rarely do i think about these awkward thing.
OP, how'd you get that job? It's interesting at least. I'm job hunting right now.
Theres Jungian psychology and it theorizes that there are parts of the psyche that develop at different times in an effort to become more whole. Perhaps the man who wants the charismatic, unprudish girl of action, actually wants to develop these things in himself and that's why his mind is captivated.
I've been watching videos how to pick up girls and one advice i like is "be polarizing." wat it meansis take the risks to show her who you really are instead of trying to be that nice guy and then somehow weasel in later. By being yourself and being honest you will make more people dislike you but you will have fewer "maybes" to cloud ur mind. glgl hf
|
On September 05 2013 14:27 krndandaman wrote:
kinda off tangent, but the part about not knowing the difference between a conservative and liberal made me laugh.
because I didn't know the difference until last year (college freshman) and I was a pretty good highschool student. 3.6 UW GPA, 2320 SAT's for ex. I just didn't give two shits about politics haha
I didn't ever really see the two terms used in context until last year on reddit. Still, you can kinda guess what the two words mean by their sounds and you can be pretty sure what they mean when you hear them in context.
|
Just flirt with her a lot. She sounds pretty impulsive, if you play your cards right she'll probably sleep with you while her BF is out of town. Then you can get involved in some sick drama and end up regretting you ever met her. GLHF!
|
On September 05 2013 14:28 MaxField wrote:
What in the world?
Some details may have been completely unnecessary for this blog... think about which one and perhaps edit it for the lucky souls who have not read this yet.
too late =(
|
On September 05 2013 22:02 Scarecrow wrote:Show nested quote +On September 05 2013 21:41 Epishade wrote:On September 05 2013 14:27 krndandaman wrote:
kinda off tangent, but the part about not knowing the difference between a conservative and liberal made me laugh.
because I didn't know the difference until last year (college freshman) and I was a pretty good highschool student. 3.6 UW GPA, 2320 SAT's for ex. I just didn't give two shits about politics haha And I would say that I'm pretty smart. Except far more people say that than actually are. Very few people assess themselves accurately and good luck finding ones that consider themselves 'pretty dumb' or average intellects who consider themselves average. Not knowing the difference between 'conservative' and 'liberal' might be more ignorance than a lack of intelligence but they often go hand in hand. If you're curious about the world, read and learn then you'll inevitably hear about this stuff.
I realize that. I have always gotten good grades in school and have done well on tests as well. That's why I use the phrase "I would say". It implies I understand that, because I am biased, I may over-assess my intellect. I would never just flat out say "I'm smart" because it sounds arrogant. That implies that you are smart and have absolutely no way of being wrong, which is never the case. There's always a chance.
Other people have always told me I'm pretty smart too because of how well I do in school. Honestly though, I think I just know how to act mature and use logic instead of emotion or urges to act on something. It's just that for topics that I pay no interest in, I have no interest in gathering information about them. I ignore when people talk about politics because both sides think they are right and the other is wrong without a doubt. As a result, I've never learned the correct terminology for that subject. But still, I probably should know which side is which by this age.
|
1) pretend you have dimensia
2) ask for a shower
3) do whatever feels right next
|
Holy cow TMI TMI TMI dude
Thank goodness my lunch hasn't arrived.
|
i have the same problem as the topic, but my problem is 'a bit' different :D
|
|
|
You have one option in this situation, you have to deliver better showers than K
|
On September 05 2013 17:10 hp.Shell wrote:
Next time a girl tells you she has a boyfriend, try something different. Just a suggestion. But all guys who aren't confident (including me) do the same thing. It's another filter.
huh like what?
On September 05 2013 22:25 Japhybaby wrote:
OP, how'd you get that job? It's interesting at least. I'm job hunting right now.
Look for jobs as crma or cna. A lot of places will train you. You make a few dollars more than minimum wage. There are a ton of people that the state has to just throw money at because they are a danger to themselves or others. There are an unlimited number of jobs for low skilled workers to deal with those people.
|
Creepiest girl blog ever written. Who writes a girl blog mostly about old dudes with dementia?
|
On September 06 2013 06:52 CecilSunkure wrote:
Creepiest girl blog ever written. Who writes a girl blog mostly about old dudes with dementia?
You should read more girl blogs.
|
|
|
shes so low down on the scale should be an easy pickup, just go for it i mean who the fuck else is she going to get at 3/10 at best maybe lower
|
give her some of ur kush
then become her kushmasta
flawless plan
|
On September 06 2013 06:52 CecilSunkure wrote:
Creepiest girl blog ever written. Who writes a girl blog mostly about old dudes with dementia?
thats our kush
|
On September 06 2013 06:59 sLideSC2 wrote:
shes so low down on the scale should be an easy pickup, just go for it i mean who the fuck else is she going to get at 3/10 at best maybe lower
like i said she has a boyfriend...her face is pretty
|
On September 06 2013 07:06 kushm4sta wrote:Show nested quote +On September 06 2013 06:59 sLideSC2 wrote:
shes so low down on the scale should be an easy pickup, just go for it i mean who the fuck else is she going to get at 3/10 at best maybe lower like i said she has a boyfriend...her face is pretty
Her boyfriend is in Portland and you're REALLY gonna pull that card out?
|
On September 06 2013 07:07 hp.Shell wrote:Show nested quote +On September 06 2013 07:06 kushm4sta wrote:On September 06 2013 06:59 sLideSC2 wrote:
shes so low down on the scale should be an easy pickup, just go for it i mean who the fuck else is she going to get at 3/10 at best maybe lower like i said she has a boyfriend...her face is pretty Her boyfriend is in Portland and you're REALLY gonna pull that card out?
no her boyfriend was driving down to portland for some reason (only heard 1 side of the conversation)
|
What's wrong with Portland? I drove down to Portland the other day, with the girl I love too
|
if you want this girl, you're gonna have to get used to tenderly loving and scrubbing crusty old man ass as if it were your own
i have faith that you wont shit this up op
|
I don't have any useful additional comment for you, but that post was well-written enough for me to keep reading. Cool story bro, in an honest way :D
|
I just want to say I love this blog, although I'm sorry I can't offer any advice because I'm kind of in the same situation and with even less hope for progress.
|
oh god some of these details sweet jesus whyyy T.T
|
On September 06 2013 07:53 Shauni wrote:
I just want to say I love this blog, although I'm sorry I can't offer any advice because I'm kind of in the same situation and with even less hope for progress.
youve got a shitty job too eh
|
5/5 best girl blog in awhile.
|
On September 06 2013 08:33 QuanticHawk wrote:Show nested quote +On September 06 2013 07:53 Shauni wrote:
I just want to say I love this blog, although I'm sorry I can't offer any advice because I'm kind of in the same situation and with even less hope for progress. youve got a shitty job too eh
I see what you did there
|
Germany2548 Posts
This blog has boundless entertainment potential. Just imagine Fakesteve coming in here doing ot MSpaint or sth. Mind blown.
|
so kush did you hit it? give us details. dont leave us hanging.
|
|
|
|
|
UPDATE: Her boyfriend was actually alpha as fuck dear lord. Anyway she got a better job and quit.
|
On January 06 2014 23:56 kushm4sta wrote:
UPDATE: Her boyfriend was actually alpha as fuck dear lord. Anyway she got a better job and quit.
now you will forever associate your unattainable love interests with hosing down filthy old men
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
