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warning: boring-ass "venting" blog ahead 
Once upon a time (yes, it's going to be one of those, now shush shush :O), I used to think I was pretty smart. This was probably pre-teen or thereabouts, but I'm pretty sure I thought I was the shit. There were lots of embarrassing and/or weird things about mini-me, and this was just one of them, but there you have it. My memory is horrible but to my knowledge I was a little fucking smartass lol. Well anyway, as I grew up, though, I thankfully lost more and more of overconfidence....but to the point that, where I am now, I have next to no confidence in myself whatsoever lol.
In addition to that, I really have little to no clue wtf I want to do with myself. It's the mini-pre-college existential crisis, if you will. I'm a CS/EE major at the moment (program has us do both & we decide on a focus as juniors--I'm leaning CS atm), interested in finance, but I literally have no experience coding or anything :| Never actually learned legit programming growing up sooo no idea how that's going to pan out. I've only been learning a little bit this summer. 
The thing is, I'm not particularly good at anything, don't really find myself drawn toward anything in particular. In my experience I'm pretty much okay at everything, but never right at the top; and I haven't found anything for which I have a huge passion. I know you're supposed to figure it out in college but I'm really not sure I will... not to mention trying classes in different fields can really suck when you're trying to balance your courseload and everything as it were. And what if you take a class in something that you might have liked otherwise, but the class happens to ruin it for you?? etc
Finally, in general I just feel flukey(?) oh and like college is going to kick my ass. I mean yes it happens to basically everyone and duh it's not going to be easy, but I can't imagine doing very well at all based on what I know about myself  Both in terms of how "smart" I am and how hard-working I am (not very much at all, for both). My study habits stink, I spend like all day aimlessly browsing the web online, and I can't just get by with genius or anything. <__<
So yeah. College really fucking scares me. No confidence, no idea what I want to do, no field I love/am good at, and generally I feel like a steamroller's gonna hit me in 2 weeks--that's when it'll start  I'm still excited, to be sure, but mostly scared. Oh yeah and obviously with studies, I'm super worried that I won't even have enough time to have fun, hang out, meet people, etc etc T___T
ok that's it thanks for reading 
  
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Most people who go to college are in the same boat you are believe it or not. Its supposed to introduce you to a bunch of fields you wouldn't normally see to make you more creative/better problem solver.
Plus there lots of cute girls 
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Where are you going? I'm studying CS right now and it's awesome. It's useful to know programming before you get there, but it really isn't necessary.
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dam it Aerisky, your going to Berkely, a good school wanted you/accepted you for your achievements. Your gonna learn a lot about yourself, and its ok if you have no clue what you want to study. You have an idea at the moment but there are sooooo many things that you have yet to experience that will shape who you become. I think the average undergrad changes 3 times before they graduate.
If you really need a pick-me-up. Go browse the craigslist classifieds, I reccomend the M4W and W4M section and be grateful that you will never be this desperate.
At least we will be going through this together my chinese home boi!
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Don't worry. I'm in a Software Engineering course and I started 1st year with zero programming experience, 66 on my CS midterm. After 2 years I'm easily near the top 20% of the class in coding. I'm still not godly anywhere, but decent everywhere for the most part. Don't sweat things so much, you have a lot of room to grow up over 4 years, and you really don't know what how your life is going to shape up year-after-year. College is really that big of a change, if you let it be. Just push yourself to study harder, work harder, play harder. Find other people that share the same values you do and grow up with them.
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If you don't really like anything in particular and aren't particularly great at anything in particular, study whatever makes you the most money. You'll either like it, hate it, or tolerate it. If you hate it, pick up the next best thing that makes you money. So on, so forth. You're already on a good path here with CS/EE. You think most CS/EE majors are really that passionate about what they're doing? Hah.
The "study what you're passionate about" works when you know what you're passionate about, and even then, it's not about innate passion but hard work. Passion for a field of study is artificial. People end up liking what they're good at, so if you work hard and become good at a certain field, then you'll like it because your success in that field will make you feel better about yourself. It's a positive feedback loop. You want to like CS/EE, and you're not terrible at it? Work hard, become good at it, and you'll probably like it.
Anyways, I think a lot of bright people are overconfident when they are young, but as they grow up, they learn to tone it back. That's good; you won't get hit by a hammer when you realize you're not the smartest person in your class (and hell, someone has to be in the bottom 25%, though since you are so worried about college, I'm sure you will make sure you are not in the bottom 25%). Humility's good for a person.
Two weeks left, go do something relaxing, and try not to worry too much. You'll have time enough to stress out and worry when school starts.
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dude college will be fine.
you will spend the first two weeks completely drunk and afterwards youll have a bunch of friends. Then youll notice its pretty much how school used to be, except that now results do count.
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On August 15 2013 05:08 Awesomedrifter wrote:Most people who go to college are in the same boat you are believe it or not. Its supposed to introduce you to a bunch of fields you wouldn't normally see to make you more creative/better problem solver. Plus there lots of cute girls
Yeah, I do hope it ends up that way >_< Also cute girls, I can dig that :D
On August 15 2013 05:22 jrkirby wrote:
Where are you going? I'm studying CS right now and it's awesome. It's useful to know programming before you get there, but it really isn't necessary.
Ah nice! I hope I end up enjoying it too, I'm going to UC Berkeley :X
On August 15 2013 05:34 MysteryMeat1 wrote:
dam it Aerisky, your going to Berkely, a good school wanted you/accepted you for your achievements. Your gonna learn a lot about yourself, and its ok if you have no clue what you want to study. You have an idea at the moment but there are sooooo many things that you have yet to experience that will shape who you become. I think the average undergrad changes 3 times before they graduate.
If you really need a pick-me-up. Go browse the craigslist classifieds, I reccomend the M4W and W4M section and be grateful that you will never be this desperate.
At least we will be going through this together my chinese home boi!
Hmm...gotcha. Yeah I'll try to keep that in mind as I go on. It does feel good to get that off my chest though haha, so I feel better already ~_~ but LOL I remember you mentioning that M4W and W4M sections idea on cl ;__;
Yeahh college gonna be funfun I hope :O
On August 15 2013 05:38 Blisse wrote:
Don't worry. I'm in a Software Engineering course and I started 1st year with zero programming experience, 66 on my CS midterm. After 2 years I'm easily near the top 20% of the class in coding. I'm still not godly anywhere, but decent everywhere for the most part. Don't sweat things so much, you have a lot of room to grow up over 4 years, and you really don't know what how your life is going to shape up year-after-year. College is really that big of a change, if you let it be. Just push yourself to study harder, work harder, play harder. Find other people that share the same values you do and grow up with them.
Holy fuck lol, nicee. I'm a bit worried about the pushing myself part, but I've come...somewhat of a ways in terms of getting to work, I guess. Will have to work on working for sure <_> thanks
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United States10328 Posts
spend less time on TL and more time working and you'll do fine 
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On August 15 2013 05:45 babylon wrote:If you don't really like anything in particular and aren't particularly great at anything in particular, study whatever makes you the most money. You'll either like it, hate it, or tolerate it. If you hate it, pick up the next best thing that makes you money. So on, so forth. You're already on a good path here with CS/EE. You think most CS/EE majors are really that passionate about what they're doing? Hah. The "study what you're passionate about" works when you know what you're passionate about, and even then, it's not about innate passion but hard work. Passion for a field of study is artificial. People end up liking what they're good at, so if you work hard and become good at a certain field, then you'll like it because your success in that field will make you feel better about yourself. It's a positive feedback loop. You want to like CS/EE, and you're not terrible at it? Work hard, become good at it, and you'll probably like it. Anyways, I think a lot of bright people are overconfident when they are young, but as they grow up, they learn to tone it back. That's good; you won't get hit by a hammer when you realize you're not the smartest person in your class (and hell, someone has to be in the bottom 25%, though since you are so worried about college, I'm sure you will make sure you are not in the bottom 25%). Humility's good for a person. Two weeks left, go do something relaxing, and try not to worry too much. You'll have time enough to stress out and worry when school starts.
Wow I never knew that's how it worked for a lot of people :O hm. And yeah one of my pet peeves is people who are just clearly lacking in humility 
Thanks for all the advice, will just have to plug away and try to relaxxx T.T
On August 15 2013 05:58 Kevin_Sorbo wrote:
dude college will be fine.
you will spend the first two weeks completely drunk and afterwards youll have a bunch of friends. Then youll notice its pretty much how school used to be, except that now results do count.
LOL interesting way of putting it :D welcome week should be a blast lol
On August 15 2013 06:02 ]343[ wrote:spend less time on TL and more time working and you'll do fine
Ahaha but it's sooo hard D':
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you're no different than any other kid entering college. Just stick to gen ed classes at first, take a few electives in stuff that interests you. you don't really have to declare until the end of your second year.
unless you are receiving scholarship money, don't be afraid to take off a semester or two to go travel, work a bit in some fields that interest you. it is drilled from early on that you go to college right away, but delaying for a bit is good for a lot of people
you'll be fine man. gl!
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Ah gotcha. Yeah I definitely want to travel but I'm not sure yet whether it could be study/research abroad or whether I'd actually have to take a semester off entirely in order to travel, probably the latter though. Last time I won't be working full-time and all, so yeah...just wanna have fun too :X thanks!!
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I'm saying don't bother taking courses for your major until you absolutely have to. Do your general credits, take electives in stuff that interests you... if two years from now you are genuinely unsure of what to do, consider taking a leave and working for a bit in a field that interests you. Or travel for a few months and think about it. Delaying for a year or so >>> studying something you're gonna hate 2 years into your career
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Hong Kong9179 Posts
find alcohol. things get better afterwards.
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On August 15 2013 06:02 ]343[ wrote:spend less time on TL and more time working and you'll do fine
Why can't we get paid for our time on TL? Say 1 cent per 100 posts.
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Work hard, you'll be fine. You should only be worried if you're a lazy dude
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QuanticHawk: Ahh okay, that makes sense for sure. Would be silly to get a degree for the sake of it and end up with something you don't want to do at all yeah.
itsjustatank: LOL :O
CecilSunkure: Well, uh, about that.... :|
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This is the longest post I have ever seen Aerisky write.
The big difference between high school and college/the real world is effort vs focus. In high school, it was basically whoever put the most effort into their work wins. In college, nobody will be impressed by you getting straight As; what they want to see is that you have defined interests and goals and that you are working towards those goals.
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well, about 96% of people that are going to college in september are having the exact same thoughts as you right now and would describe themselves the same way
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Oh yeah: Programming projects are like 10 times as impressive to most companies as great grades.
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EPT
