I'm currently turning my life around 180° from total social-failure nerd to... well, a normal person. However, my hobbies so far don't really mesh with my new personality, aren't as fun as they used to be and - most importantly - are REALLY bad to bring up in conversation. You know, Magic the Gathering, League of Legends, Starcraft (Streams obviously as well) and the like.
Other things I do are by a large part of the population seen as "bad" or "evil" as well. See, I take a great interest in the marketing industry (and through that social psychology as well) which leads to a pretty good knowledge of decision processes, how to influence/convince people. Comes off extremely creepy and manipulative. So I prefer not to talk about that.
Which leaves me with... nothing to talk about and a bunch of hobbies I don't enjoy any more. Well except the marketing stuff, that's the most exciting thing in the world to me. Apart from pussy, obviously.
But see, I'm in a pinch. I live in a pretty rural area - only two somewhat acceptable bars within half an hour or so. I don't own a car, which is the biggest handicap considering where I live. Oh and I got next to no money, I'm still in a "training program" (no idea how to properly describe it in English, sorry) which basically earns me enough to cover rent and basic cost of living.
Now, obviously I want to do something new, experiencing something new, becoming good at something that I have never done before. Good stuff. But it is also somewhat important to me that I can talk about it, share it with people in a social setting. Oh and if it get's me girls, all the better. But that's not the point.
The obvious choice that springs to mind would be to learn an instrument. Specifically acoustic guitar, considering it's status as chick crack. But I don't know, I played an instrument for most of my childhood and teenage years and am not really keen going through the year-long process of getting "good". Decades even to get near mastery.
I already do sports, hitting the gym with a vengeance four times during the week. In my current bodily state, that is all I can handle.
What are your ideas? Any cool suggestions? Keep in mind I'm not from 'Murica, so some national favorites are most likely not doable here.
I'm not sure someone who turns his personality upside down to become a "normal person" can be considered a "normal person". The line of having confidence and standing by what you like seems much better to me.
What kinds of conversations are you talking about anyways? Talking about the sports you do should already be a fine topic for a bunch of people (especially those who prioritize sports, health and looks).
I picked up yo-yoing a couple years back and it is a bit of an obscure hobby, but one I've found has never been socially awkward and is actually a decent conversation starter. It isn't hard to get good enough to show off impressive tricks, and there are many different styles depending on what you think looks fun.
The past few years I was pretty much a shut-in. A few years back I suffered from depression. I just stayed in, isolated myself. After I got better, I was too scared of the world out there for ages. All these "What If's" in my head. My friends had moved on and/or away. I got new motivation now and am trying to get back to normal, if you will.
Conversations like when you are out, talking to some people wherever (bar, random other event, doesn't matter). You keep talking and then the topic "what do you do outside of XYZ" comes up. And I draw a blank. Not heavy discussion stuff, just light conversation. I have no problem that friends know that I am pretty nerdy. I still watch streams and play LoL/SC with friends on occasion. But I don't want it to be the center of my life, the "thing I do" anymore.
Similar to how I used to be the 160kg (~350 lb) fat guy. Not gonna be that anymore, already down 24kg (~53 lb) in 2 months.
I think it's great that you change your life to the better, that you're getting fit and don't want to be the lazy person anymore. However, if you enjoy something, there's nothing wrong with it. Don't do things for other people (or girls). Don't forget that you live this one life, and do the best you can to enjoy yourself and do what you want to do. Only pick things up that you're sure you will enjoy, and not on the factor of other people.
Learn a language, read literature, follow current affairs, study philosophy, practice a martial art, listen to music.
These are all popular, rewarding hobbies that you can talk to people about if you do it in the right way. But really, hobbies aren't very important. Being fun to hang around with is the main thing, regardless of interests.
About acoustic guitar - the best thing about it is it lets you play music with other people, which is incredibly cool.
You don't have to completely quit doing what your doing. When I decided to start being more social, I just cut back on League of Legends. I started working out, I also started some nerdy hobbies that were more outdoors (Melee, foam sword fighting). Honestly stop looking at yourself as a creeper because your not.
Edit: You could try learning music? Maybe started a local band with friends and play at local venues? I don't really enjoy it anymore but its something to think about thats has a social atmosphere you might like.
I don't think a forcefully changed or fake personality has ever done any good. You are who you are, better embrace your personality and have some confidence. If you genuinely take passion in new hobbies, then so be it, but don't force yourself to change to impress girls.
When video games become the focal point of your life, which is common as hell for shut-ins, then there will literally be nothing to talk about with most people. It is hard to relate with others when all of your experiences center around trivial things. Yes they might make you happy, and you should proudly wear it like shining armor. However at the same time, you will be isolated for being extreme/weird --> sadness. It's not inherently wrong to play video games and try to be the best, but in our society it's basically a trap.
To the average person, someone trying to be the best musician or artist or even student will be inspiring/interesting but as soon as its some shut-in trying to be a progamer --> loser/dweeb status. You would need to be able to communicate enthusiasm and love for the game like day9 to reach out to an average joe, and that is something most people cannot do, simply because they are not nearly as expressive. Keep in mind I am talking about people who afraid of society like op, and so use video games as an outlet for happiness, which actually makes them sad(lol).
I think your approach to getting new hobbies is commendable and is the right way to go to become a better you. Good luck finding something you enjoy other than video games (nothing wrong with video games just don't make it 100% of your life like anything else).
Can't just do sports, need to FOLLOW sports. Once you get into the workforce, unless you are surrounded by complete nerds or something, you will end up with a whole bunch of managers and bosses who are massive fans of the local college football team or whatnot. Being able to discuss players and events helps get that promotion and bonus points! Make sure you take a deep breath before diving into his butthole though.
@biologymajor - I think its true that a life dedicated to something like video gaming can cause one's experiences to "centre around trivial things" which is bad for socializing. I don't agree that striving for improvement in videogames is less socially cool than music or painting. Gaming involves lots of time sitting in front of the screen (ie hurting eyes and posture, keeping one indoors) and one can sit in lazy positions and still do well (arguably). What i really mean is don't blame video games if you can't make it sound appealing to the person you're conversing with. you can adapt anything to fit their interests if you have a brain.
@Celial, sounds like you're fine with your hobbies and unsatisfied with your social life.. go with who you are, what you know and what you love. One thing i thnk people forget to remember is to get good platonic friendships and nurture those. True, they don't involve sex but two people are generally better for meeting new groups than one person is. You can cover eachother's weaknesses. SO yeah just take what friends you can get and go with that!
As someone who enjoys playing the accoustic guitar around other people just for music's sake.. please don't play guitar because its a "chick magnet" or whatever.. that just gives us all a bad name. hahaha im joking... but thats pretty bad man, but i know if you played it wouldn't be the real reason. I always like to suggest reading because that always seems to get me somewhere... well not always.. living life is better than reading but readings good too.
I can relate to your thought process here, but I think you're trying to find substitute problems rather than acknowledging you're currently not a very social person. There's no such things as "wrong" hobbies. Someone like Day[9] has very similar interest to yours yet he isn't a closed off "social failure nerd".
Trying to improve yourself by going to the gym and putting yourself out there is fine, but don't try to change who you are thinking it will get you real friends, because it will not. There's going to be people who dislike you because of your hobbies, but that's fine because if they're not able to see past that, you don't want these people as friends anyways. The biggest problem is probably accepting that it's fine to have nerdy hobbies and that trying to hide them probably makes you way more awkward than the hobbies themselves ever will.
If your personality has truly changed, your new self would know which hobbies appealed to him by now. Hobbies are a personal thing - essentially casual activities that you enjoy. While there is a possibility you could enjoy some of the new things suggested to you by random people, you may as well go and try doing random things on your own, and still be much more likely to find something you enjoy than any of us will.
If personal enjoyment isn't really the goal, then wouldn't the most logical course of action be to pick up on some of the hobbies and activities people you socialize with (or those you want to socialize with) do? Then you can not only talk to people about it, but do stuff with them.
I got a fortune last night (ate chinese) which said something like: don't try to become someone else; become better at being yourself. There's nothing wrong with picking up a new hobby if it interests you, but I wouldn't do it solely for the purpose of changing myself significantly.
On March 16 2013 19:08 alQahira wrote: How about photography? Easy to do anywhere. Alternatively some craft like wood carving or carpentry.
Be careful... this one can actually get very expensive in a hurry.
I'm currently turning my life around 180° from total social-failure nerd to... well, a normal person. However, my hobbies so far don't really mesh with my new personality, aren't as fun as they used to be and - most importantly - are REALLY bad to bring up in conversation. You know, Magic the Gathering, League of Legends, Starcraft (Streams obviously as well) and the like.
Other things I do are by a large part of the population seen as "bad" or "evil" as well. See, I take a great interest in the marketing industry (and through that social psychology as well) which leads to a pretty good knowledge of decision processes, how to influence/convince people. Comes off extremely creepy and manipulative. So I prefer not to talk about that.
Which leaves me with... nothing to talk about and a bunch of hobbies I don't enjoy any more. Well except the marketing stuff, that's the most exciting thing in the world to me. Apart from pussy, obviously.
But see, I'm in a pinch. I live in a pretty rural area - only two somewhat acceptable bars within half an hour or so. I don't own a car, which is the biggest handicap considering where I live. Oh and I got next to no money, I'm still in a "training program" (no idea how to properly describe it in English, sorry) which basically earns me enough to cover rent and basic cost of living.
Now, obviously I want to do something new, experiencing something new, becoming good at something that I have never done before. Good stuff. But it is also somewhat important to me that I can talk about it, share it with people in a social setting. Oh and if it get's me girls, all the better. But that's not the point.
The obvious choice that springs to mind would be to learn an instrument. Specifically acoustic guitar, considering it's status as chick crack. But I don't know, I played an instrument for most of my childhood and teenage years and am not really keen going through the year-long process of getting "good". Decades even to get near mastery.
I already do sports, hitting the gym with a vengeance four times during the week. In my current bodily state, that is all I can handle.
What are your ideas? Any cool suggestions? Keep in mind I'm not from 'Murica, so some national favorites are most likely not doable here.
Thanks guys <3
Your guitar idea was spot on.
There's no more rewarding hobby than playing music. It's "better" than other arts, because it allows you to be more spontaneuos and it's easier to communicate via music than via, for instance, painting. It's exhausting at times, but that's the same kind of satisfying exhaustion you get when studying all day.
Just remember to pick up an instrument that is not the bass. It's an awesome instrument, you will be highly sought after when looking for a band and if you find one, you'll be an inextricable part of the music you guys make, but it's not pleasant as a solo-instrument to the uninitiated.
Maybe playing an instrument is more nerdy than more outdoorsy hobbies and might not help you with the ladies, but the confidence it lends you when you get decent makes you more appealing. If you connect with someone via music, it's as close to magic as it gets and playing on stage in front of people or simply jamming with a couple of dudes in a pot-soaked cellar is insanely fun.
If you really want something to do just to get the ladies:
Hit the gym daily, spend the rest of your free-time working on a car or a motor-cycle and follow a local sports team. Nothing says "man" like a ripped football-fan who loves beer and his motor-cycle. Most women look for a confident, good looking guy who exudes testostorone, if you're way into literature or arts you better be extraordinarily handsome or rich to get away with it.
If often find myself in your position, because I have lost a lot of friends due to moving a lot and not being that social myself. I know how much it sucks being alone and finding people who share your interests, and I applaud your effort to become more social. My only hobbies are books, music and a little SC2. I tried to get away from that by going to clubs more often, but I always find myself drawn back to Middle Earth, Westeros, old poems and histories. I love sports, but I find watching them almost as tedious as celebrity gossip or pop-culture, which throws a wrench into the gears of casual conversation, so I'm always curios to read how other nerds out there social issues.
This is a problem I've been examining myself in recent times. I really don't enjoy gaming much anymore.. it's become tedious and frustrating as I no longer have time to compete at the top of the game. I've also found going to the gym to be a major source of enjoyment, it's still solitary enough for the most part that you're comfortable but the confidence and sense of self improvement will work wonders for you in the long run.
On March 16 2013 23:11 biology]major wrote: When video games become the focal point of your life, which is common as hell for shut-ins, then there will literally be nothing to talk about with most people. It is hard to relate with others when all of your experiences center around trivial things. Yes they might make you happy, and you should proudly wear it like shining armor. However at the same time, you will be isolated for being extreme/weird --> sadness.
This is bullshit. Almost everyone centres their life around "trivial things". What could possibly be more trivial than TV, sports, shopping, celebrities, gadgets or any of the other myriad of mundane topics that people commonly use to make small talk? The difference is simply in the social acceptability of certain topics when you bring them up in conversations. Neuro-physicists probably don't have many interests in common with the average person either, but that doesn't mean that the work they do is unimportant or irrelevant, it just means that they also need to learn about other things outside their field(s) of interest in order to interact with mainstream society.
In my opinion, the OP should try to learn more about topics that he knows nothing about, or at least think of a few interesting things that he could contribute to a conversation about various topics. Even just being out and talking with people is good, because you can learn by example. Talkative, social people can bullshit about basically any topic you give them, even if they know nothing about it, because they have the basic skills to carry a conversation. Having one interesting hobby you can bring up is great, but most conversations are not going to be centred around you and what you do in your spare time, so you would do better by increasing your general knowledge and general conversation skills imo.
I'm currently turning my life around 180° from total social-failure nerd to... well, a normal person. However, my hobbies so far don't really mesh with my new personality, aren't as fun as they used to be and - most importantly - are REALLY bad to bring up in conversation. You know, Magic the Gathering, League of Legends, Starcraft (Streams obviously as well) and the like.
Other things I do are by a large part of the population seen as "bad" or "evil" as well. See, I take a great interest in the marketing industry (and through that social psychology as well) which leads to a pretty good knowledge of decision processes, how to influence/convince people. Comes off extremely creepy and manipulative. So I prefer not to talk about that.
Which leaves me with... nothing to talk about and a bunch of hobbies I don't enjoy any more. Well except the marketing stuff, that's the most exciting thing in the world to me. Apart from pussy, obviously.
But see, I'm in a pinch. I live in a pretty rural area - only two somewhat acceptable bars within half an hour or so. I don't own a car, which is the biggest handicap considering where I live. Oh and I got next to no money, I'm still in a "training program" (no idea how to properly describe it in English, sorry) which basically earns me enough to cover rent and basic cost of living.
Now, obviously I want to do something new, experiencing something new, becoming good at something that I have never done before. Good stuff. But it is also somewhat important to me that I can talk about it, share it with people in a social setting. Oh and if it get's me girls, all the better. But that's not the point.
The obvious choice that springs to mind would be to learn an instrument. Specifically acoustic guitar, considering it's status as chick crack. But I don't know, I played an instrument for most of my childhood and teenage years and am not really keen going through the year-long process of getting "good". Decades even to get near mastery.
I already do sports, hitting the gym with a vengeance four times during the week. In my current bodily state, that is all I can handle.
What are your ideas? Any cool suggestions? Keep in mind I'm not from 'Murica, so some national favorites are most likely not doable here.
Thanks guys <3
Just remember to pick up an instrument that is not the bass. It's an awesome instrument, you will be highly sought after when looking for a band and if you find one, you'll be an inextricable part of the music you guys make, but it's not pleasant as a solo-instrument to the uninitiated.
If by uninitiated, you mean someone who is just starting out, it doesn't really matter bass or guitar, I would just say pursue whatever he's more into or if admires a particular person or band to learn that instrument so it can get his interest in the door. The only time I would say don't pick up a certain instrument is drums, because that shit gets expensive and you can't exactly practice it whenever you want and be "quiet".
Your issue aren't your hobbies, your issue is how you frame them.
TCGs, League or SC aren't bad because of how many people play at least one of those nowadays. Sure, talking about in-depth strategy isn't the best option in most cases but it's not like you're forced to do that.
See, I take a great interest in the marketing industry (and through that social psychology as well) which leads to a pretty good knowledge of decision processes, how to influence/convince people. Comes off extremely creepy and manipulative. So I prefer not to talk about that.
Among other things I teach people on how to "manipulate themselves" (or sometimes others in the case of dating or couples councelling), it's also a topic I love talking about with random people, friends or even when it comes to dating. However, my framing is completely different from yours.
"You can not not communicate" -> "Communication always results in manipulation" -> "Knowing how to communicate properly helps everyone involved"
In such a context "manipulating" or "influencing" suddenly isn't an evil deed anymore - it's just a tool that you learned use and it, as tools tend to be like, can be used for any kind of purpose. The intent is what matters.
In general when it comes to "basics" of social skills it is much less about the content, but the emotion it conveys. If you see someone do something funny (e.g. a guy trying to approach a group of girls, burning horribly and not realizing what's wrong and trying again and again) and you point it out to others while being enthusiastic about it it's very rare that no one cares or doesn't like to listen. Think of content more like a train that you're using to bring emotion to the other person. In most cases it's that emotion that makes it interesting or not.
Find things that are fun, have fun with them and try to gather people around you that you enjoy having fun with. Trying to make yourself more interesting to people who are randomly around you is asking to end in a disaster. Unless you're doing that for fun, of course. =P
Lots of valid points have been made that I have to think about.
On March 17 2013 02:22 r.Evo wrote: Think of content more like a train that you're using to bring emotion to the other person. In most cases it's that emotion that makes it interesting or not.
I'm currently turning my life around 180° from total social-failure nerd to... well, a normal person. However, my hobbies so far don't really mesh with my new personality, aren't as fun as they used to be and - most importantly - are REALLY bad to bring up in conversation. You know, Magic the Gathering, League of Legends, Starcraft (Streams obviously as well) and the like.
Other things I do are by a large part of the population seen as "bad" or "evil" as well. See, I take a great interest in the marketing industry (and through that social psychology as well) which leads to a pretty good knowledge of decision processes, how to influence/convince people. Comes off extremely creepy and manipulative. So I prefer not to talk about that.
Which leaves me with... nothing to talk about and a bunch of hobbies I don't enjoy any more. Well except the marketing stuff, that's the most exciting thing in the world to me. Apart from pussy, obviously.
But see, I'm in a pinch. I live in a pretty rural area - only two somewhat acceptable bars within half an hour or so. I don't own a car, which is the biggest handicap considering where I live. Oh and I got next to no money, I'm still in a "training program" (no idea how to properly describe it in English, sorry) which basically earns me enough to cover rent and basic cost of living.
Now, obviously I want to do something new, experiencing something new, becoming good at something that I have never done before. Good stuff. But it is also somewhat important to me that I can talk about it, share it with people in a social setting. Oh and if it get's me girls, all the better. But that's not the point.
The obvious choice that springs to mind would be to learn an instrument. Specifically acoustic guitar, considering it's status as chick crack. But I don't know, I played an instrument for most of my childhood and teenage years and am not really keen going through the year-long process of getting "good". Decades even to get near mastery.
I already do sports, hitting the gym with a vengeance four times during the week. In my current bodily state, that is all I can handle.
What are your ideas? Any cool suggestions? Keep in mind I'm not from 'Murica, so some national favorites are most likely not doable here.
Thanks guys <3
Just remember to pick up an instrument that is not the bass. It's an awesome instrument, you will be highly sought after when looking for a band and if you find one, you'll be an inextricable part of the music you guys make, but it's not pleasant as a solo-instrument to the uninitiated.
If by uninitiated, you mean someone who is just starting out, it doesn't really matter bass or guitar, I would just say pursue whatever he's more into or if admires a particular person or band to learn that instrument so it can get his interest in the door. The only time I would say don't pick up a certain instrument is drums, because that shit gets expensive and you can't exactly practice it whenever you want and be "quiet".
I imagine the bass is rather dull if you're not overly interested in music. I'll bet that people who only listen casually to whatever's on the radio will not recognize a single bass-riff you play to them. It also gets really, really dull to play if you don't have a drummer around. Don't get me wrong, I love the bass and it often makes or breaks the song, but I think it's an instrument only musicians or enthusiastic listeners can isolate and really enjoy.
On March 17 2013 02:22 r.Evo wrote: Think of content more like a train that you're using to bring emotion to the other person. In most cases it's that emotion that makes it interesting or not.
Interesting angle. Have to think a bout that.
emotion is everything. i love cubing with a passion which makes it fun for me even when i get crappy times. only way is to improve as well. find something you'll never master. always has that drive for you to always improve.
I'm all for improving yourself, but changing your hobbies to suit the eyes of others is just silly. Do what you enjoy, and be proud of the fact that you enjoy what you do. If someone scorns you for liking something that is in no way harmful to others, then they're not worth your time, imo. :D If you want to learn a new hobby because you're bored, then that's different, and there's some wonderful suggestions in this thread! Personally, I took up writing, and challenged myself to learn another language.
I'm currently turning my life around 180° from total social-failure nerd to... well, a normal person. However, my hobbies so far don't really mesh with my new personality, aren't as fun as they used to be and - most importantly - are REALLY bad to bring up in conversation. You know, Magic the Gathering, League of Legends, Starcraft (Streams obviously as well) and the like.
Other things I do are by a large part of the population seen as "bad" or "evil" as well. See, I take a great interest in the marketing industry (and through that social psychology as well) which leads to a pretty good knowledge of decision processes, how to influence/convince people. Comes off extremely creepy and manipulative. So I prefer not to talk about that.
Which leaves me with... nothing to talk about and a bunch of hobbies I don't enjoy any more. Well except the marketing stuff, that's the most exciting thing in the world to me. Apart from pussy, obviously.
But see, I'm in a pinch. I live in a pretty rural area - only two somewhat acceptable bars within half an hour or so. I don't own a car, which is the biggest handicap considering where I live. Oh and I got next to no money, I'm still in a "training program" (no idea how to properly describe it in English, sorry) which basically earns me enough to cover rent and basic cost of living.
Now, obviously I want to do something new, experiencing something new, becoming good at something that I have never done before. Good stuff. But it is also somewhat important to me that I can talk about it, share it with people in a social setting. Oh and if it get's me girls, all the better. But that's not the point.
The obvious choice that springs to mind would be to learn an instrument. Specifically acoustic guitar, considering it's status as chick crack. But I don't know, I played an instrument for most of my childhood and teenage years and am not really keen going through the year-long process of getting "good". Decades even to get near mastery.
I already do sports, hitting the gym with a vengeance four times during the week. In my current bodily state, that is all I can handle.
What are your ideas? Any cool suggestions? Keep in mind I'm not from 'Murica, so some national favorites are most likely not doable here.
Thanks guys <3
Just remember to pick up an instrument that is not the bass. It's an awesome instrument, you will be highly sought after when looking for a band and if you find one, you'll be an inextricable part of the music you guys make, but it's not pleasant as a solo-instrument to the uninitiated.
If by uninitiated, you mean someone who is just starting out, it doesn't really matter bass or guitar, I would just say pursue whatever he's more into or if admires a particular person or band to learn that instrument so it can get his interest in the door. The only time I would say don't pick up a certain instrument is drums, because that shit gets expensive and you can't exactly practice it whenever you want and be "quiet".
I imagine the bass is rather dull if you're not overly interested in music. I'll bet that people who only listen casually to whatever's on the radio will not recognize a single bass-riff you play to them. It also gets really, really dull to play if you don't have a drummer around. Don't get me wrong, I love the bass and it often makes or breaks the song, but I think it's an instrument only musicians or enthusiastic listeners can isolate and really enjoy.
"What does that large guitar do?" (actual quote)
Or you could just play schism. Casual people would pick that up. Or you could suprise people and play guitar lines like Under the Bridge intro on bass. Or learn to slap or tap. Plucking roots or chugging power chords is equally boring.
But I don't want to side track this, I just don't like you implying casual people are too dumb to recognize something interesting on bass because it didn't happen on the radio but are suddenly drawn to a guitar because it has two more strings. Is that really the kind of person you want to befriend anyway?
EDIT: My point is, pick bass or guitar. Don't pick one because you think people will think your boring. That's just as wrong as quitting video games because you think people will think you're nerdy.
Is this a serious post? I can't see how you could keep a conversation going when you're talking about your bonsai hobby. I like it and I wish I had the patience to do it myself, but it seems like an even worse smalltalk topic than games.
Any sport you are good at at a recreational level that you like
skateboarding, longboarding, biking, etc.
language learning
social work groups, like volunteering
political work groups
fine arts done in groups
cooking/entertaining
drug use
Non-Social
yoyo, all types of cool tricks, I.E. card tricks/parlor tricks.
video games not including lans and team play
other things you can think of like the social ones done in a home environment alone
lone arts, or all the things I mentioned up in social in a non-social environment
Pick 2-3, I suggest 2 social + 1 non-social and then get really good at those things, don't be all over the place or you won't know anyone. It takes time and putting in the hours to get really good at hobbies.
For the chicks I would focus more on the singing aspect instead of just playing guitar. It's fun to plunk around once in a while but unless you're singing words that mean something (they can be any words nowadays -.-) then a lot of them don't really see the point in listening.
Okay, stay motivated, get ripped, try to spend as much time talking to people or being near other people as humanly possible all day long, that's the fastest way to improving socially. Lots of experience.
Edit: Also reading good nonfiction books is good for you if you want to project more of a charming / intellectual personality rather than douchebaggery in order to get chicks. Watch The Count of Monte Cristo, that got me started (I've only seen the 2002 version though). I remember reading Wealth and Nations and just having a knowledge bomb dropped on my head. It's like, yeah science and math is great but that isn't all there is in terms of new knowledge. And really read the good books first, you need foundations.
Being a normal person doesn't mean giving up the things that make you happy. What a waste of a fucking life.
Just work on your social skills. If you have good social skills and you come across as a chill guy, you can sell a group of people on rolling around in dog shit.
go out and talk to girls, as a hobby. is what i'm doing now. biggest challenge i ever faced. and dont tell me you cant do this in your area. how did your ancestors meet their mates?
shit, i need to make this post bigger, cause these 1liners usually get overlooked. blalbalbla
blvlvalblalb bla bla bl al balba lb albalb a ablba a
check out some good stuff on youtube, like
or anything by RSD tyler (youtube).
if you can, get RSD blueprint (DVD program), cause i'm not sure how much sense the manwhore speech or free RSD material will make to you. i do think they'll still make quite some sense though.
i dont know any other good free material, cause i stopped searching after having seen blueprint.
edit: actually... "simple pickup" on youtube is genius too. if their explanations and infield footage + manwhore + some free rsd stuff make complete sense to you, you can probably forget about blueprint.
TV shows are a good way to have something to talk about with most people. I never really watched much TV before, but started watching a couple more shows, and it's almost always something you can chat about with others.
On March 17 2013 10:27 beg wrote: go out and talk to girls, as a hobby. is what i'm doing now. biggest challenge i ever faced. and dont tell me you cant do this in your area. how did your ancestors meet their mates?
shit, i need to make this post bigger, cause these 1liners usually get overlooked. blalbalbla
blvlvalblalb bla bla bl al balba lb albalb a ablba a
if you can, get RSD blueprint (DVD program), cause i'm not sure how much sense the manwhore speech or free RSD material will make to you. i do think they'll still make quite some sense though.
i dont know any other good free material, cause i stopped searching after having seen blueprint.
edit: actually... "simple pickup" on youtube is genius too. if their explanations and infield footage + manwhore + some free rsd stuff make complete sense to you, you can probably forget about blueprint.
RSD, and other similiar pickup material is some terrible advice for people like OP. First you get your own life together before you go out and try to impress girls.
You guys are all nerds, he wants something that he can talk about/show off without being a nerd and get girls, and you suggest yoyoing and rubicks cubing ...
Go learn breakdancing (preferably called bboying/breaking)
You don't need to spend a single penny to learn it and you can practice anywhere, in your own room, or flatten a bunch of cardboard boxes with duct tape and make a makeshift d-floor to practice on outside.
Spend a year practicing a few hours everyday and you will be able to rock up in a club, start dancing, and girls will throw themselves at you. You did say you lived in a rural area though so I dunno as much about this part, but you can still break anywhere and you don't have to carry anything with you to do it.
I suggest learning powermoves/freezes from the beginning as well as footwork, even though everyone suggests learning footwork in the beginning. Powermoves become more bothersome to learn the better you get, so its better to learn from the get go.
It will also make you super fucking fit. Your gym strength should help a lot with it too.
Acoustic guitar (enough for girls to like), actually doesn't take that long. To master, it is one of the hardest instruments when you get to fingerstyle (I've spent about 8 years guitar w' 2 years fingerstyle), but country stuff is fine and attractive and would only take you a few months. Guitar actually stops being that much more attractive from then on, once you get technical, they care more about the music than your skill. Acoustic guitars cost money though, which seemed to be one of your requirements.
Like the above post, id suggest dancing. When i was in middle school i felt similar to OP. i started dancing for stupid reasons (thought girls would like it). Ten years later, dancing is a huge part of my life and helped me in terms of fitness, confidence, creativity, and focus.
Every guy plays guitar. If u do it, do it right. Give it your all, whatever it is you want to do.
Dancing is a good point. Totally forgot about that. I can't move for shit. That goes on the list!
I actually was forced to take standard ballroom dancing classes by my parents when I was a teen, I forgot how awesome that was after the first few awkward lessons.
And again, I fully intend to play the occasional game when my online friends are up for it and watch streams. I simply want to move my focus to other cool things. I'm not going to do stuff I don't like just for the sake of social acceptance. But I believe that some things that I might find fun and what society think is acceptable do overlap.
Edit: Went to that bboy site, watched some "basic toprock tutorials". Goddamit, just three simple step combinations and it looks so goddamn good :D
EPT
