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Kicked out of school
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lisward
Singapore959 Posts
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UndoneJin
United States438 Posts
1. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and stop living in the past. The truth of the matter is that you have exactly 2 choices: keep living the way you are (and be miserable/die young) or start pushing forward with everything you have. It's not going to be easy, it's not going to be fun, there's no giant moment of release. It's a slow, steady process, and it will make your head spin. 2. Stop drinking - there's nothing more counterproductive in the world when you're suffering from depression. All alcohol does is makes you dwell on your negativity and fester it. I found weed, but maybe that's not for you. 3. If you need to get counseling, please do so. Having a person to relate your feelings to and get perspective you will never get from a forum or from your family is important. A simple truth - life doesn't get easier, you just get better at dealing with it. Stay strong! | ||
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mierin
United States4943 Posts
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Sprutking
Sweden18 Posts
I hope you'll get better and as to embrace the wise words of UndoneJin: Stay strong! | ||
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adwodon
United Kingdom592 Posts
On February 24 2013 05:54 mierin wrote: I really hate to be the guy that advises you to stop drinking and work out, but here's a personal story. The entire month of January and into early this month I was drinking literally at least a 12 pack a night just to pass out and to make it to work the next day. I was really severely depressed (gee wonder why). I finally got my shit together, started eating 3 meals a day, stopped drinking, and started working out (not really much at all really...just around 40 mins a night 4 days a week). Since then I haven't taken any meds, seen any doctors, etc. but feel a whole lot better. Try something like that out for a few weeks...at least for me I couldn't believe how much better I felt. It's pretty much true. I notice it myself when I work out and I'm more active my mood is generally improved. I haven't felt 'depressed' since I was a teenager though, if I could talk to myself back then I'd probably just give myself a slap and say stop being such a whiney bitch. Teens have a knack for melodrama, and it doesn't help that all teens are the same so you've got no real escape from it. If you just sit around all day feeling sorry for yourself you aren't going to get any friends for one, but secondly you will feel like shit, all the time. Just try not to get stuck in arrested development, put the fucking drink down, its idiotic. Go find a job or do something with your day, sit in a cafe and read, walk around a nice area. Just do something to clear your head. Eat properly, get some exercise and before you go to bed go through your day and spend a good 10 minutes clearing your mind of shit, it sounds really retarded but it does seriously help. To be honest though, getting kicked out of school isn't the end of the world, people recover from much worse, like having your house / family torn to pieces in war or spending years in prison. That's something you'll only learn with time though, failure is temporary, and once you've actually failed you'll realize its not so scary. Hell I almost got kicked out of school, I was asked to leave and I did, now I have a masters in physics and work as a software engineer so I really don't think it held me back, reality is it probably helped me a lot and allowed me to get my shit together. | ||
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Dfgj
Singapore5922 Posts
On February 24 2013 07:37 adwodon wrote: Hell I almost got kicked out of school, I was asked to leave and I did, now I have a masters in physics and work as a software engineer so I really don't think it held me back, reality is it probably helped me a lot and allowed me to get my shit together. Singapore does not view school the same way as the UK, then. The idea of not completing education is unheard of here. Anyways bro I know you already work out, or I hope so - get back into fencing, stop drinking, and get your work done. There's no real way that someone can just tell you to be motivated, but hopefully fear kicks you into gear. | ||
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ProV1
United States980 Posts
On February 24 2013 05:36 lisward wrote: I received a call last Friday, that I may be kicked out of school. What happened was that, I didn't turn up for one of my exams, and I was repeating that module. I took a medical leave that day, but I submitted the medical certificate late, and they may not let me sit for the exam, and you can't fail a module twice. Every fucking semester I keep thinking to myself that it'll get better but in truth it just keeps getting worse and worse, I can't find the motivation to do anything at all. I talked about this before in one of my previous blogs, the blog specifically on child abuse. I really have no one to talk to and I'm going to seek out professional help on Monday and if I really do get kicked out of school I think its the end for me. Sigh, I've been skipping classes like crazy this semester, because as of late I just wanted to fucking hide in a hole and run away from everyone. Everybody's all like, what the fuck is wrong with your attitude, but I just really can't be bothered, nothing seems to matter when you're unhappy all the fucking time. I just think about my whole life, like what I've accomplished, what happened, and its all just fucking regret and anger, things that I could never control, fear, unhappiness. The only reason I don't give up is in fear that maybe, like if I just end my life, I'll just wake up and have to fucking re-live it like some sort of cycle. As of recent I've been drinking a lot, wishing that I'll get drunk, but I never do, I just get more unhappy, well I'm writing this just after drinking, so yeah. Wish there was a way to get rid of this emptiness. How to fix all your problems: #1 get a good night's sleep #2 get off the computer/any other kind of like electronic stimulation like your smartphone, tv, other games #3 Excercise. Running, lifting, and all that shit. #4 Lay off the booze #5 Eat healthy #6 Talk to people. Talk to strangers if you have to. #7 Realize that every person in the world has difficult circumstances that they've been through, and you're not special. Don't act like a victim, there are people like 100000000x worse than you. #8 Know that as human beings, your body and brain tells you to conserve energy. All your brain cares about is fulfilling your basic needs. If you eat, sleep, and masturbate, then your body doesn't care whether or not you accomplish anything in life or what the f you're feeling. #9 Every person in this world, when they wake up every SINGLE morning, has this urge to relax, take a break from all their responsiblities, and just sit around on the computer or in front of the tv, etc, and do things that require little energy, aka they don't want to do things that are bothersome. Losers give in to this urge from their body. They don't have enough willpower to actually think clearly, and fight through this urge. Successful people on the other hand, have the willpower to say no to this urge, and fight, despite what their body tells them to do. #10 All people in the world are equal. #11 Nobody cares about you except you. People only care about themselves. #12 Life is a battle between you and yourself. You are your biggest enemy. Only you prevent yourself from accomplishing something, taking action, and going for what you want. #13 Goes along with #9. Most people in this world, unless they are on a confidence surge, when they wake up in the morning, feel negative. If you do all of the above, then throughout your day, as you accomplish steps #1-13, you will stop feeling negative and start to get more happy. Then you might get negative again the next day, but it's okay, because you will feel happy again when you go through steps #1-12 again. | ||
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r.Evo
Germany14080 Posts
Professional help is most likely your best option at this point. If possible, I recommend going with someone you trust to help out with second opinions about the guy. Also don't be afraid to switch to a different doctor if you don't feel comfortable / feel treated wrongly. Make sure to tell the guy that you've been drinking recently and, if possible, explore options that include taking a break for a certain timeframe to get back on track. Best of luck, would be cool if you'd share how things progressed when you feel like it. =) | ||
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Scarecrow
Korea (South)9172 Posts
On February 24 2013 07:37 adwodon wrote: I haven't felt 'depressed' since I was a teenager though, if I could talk to myself back then I'd probably just give myself a slap and say stop being such a whiney bitch. You have no fucking clue, clinical depression is another thing entirely. This is literally the worst advice you could give the OP. Kinda reminds me of the Korean approach to mental health and you can see how well that's working out. On February 24 2013 14:49 ProV1 wrote: How to fix all your problems: #6 Talk to people. Talk to strangers if you have to. #7 Don't act like a victim, there are people like 100000000x worse than you. #9 Losers give in to this urge from their body. They don't have enough willpower to actually think clearly, and fight through this urge. #11 Nobody cares about you except you. People only care about themselves. ^^More retarded advice. #1 Talk to professionals. #2 Telling someone their feelings aren't legitimate because there are kids starving in Africa is not helpful. #3 Telling someone who's suicidal that they're a loser... nice #4 Plenty of people care about you, use your support network. Family was huge for me. | ||
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Efekkt
United States68 Posts
On February 24 2013 18:41 r.Evo wrote: If someone is telling you that he can't properly function in his normal daily life it's not about "feeling a bit sad" and "just go work out a little bit". Jesus, TL. Professional help is most likely your best option at this point. If possible, I recommend going with someone you trust to help out with second opinions about the guy. Also don't be afraid to switch to a different doctor if you don't feel comfortable / feel treated wrongly. Make sure to tell the guy that you've been drinking recently and, if possible, explore options that include taking a break for a certain timeframe to get back on track. Best of luck, would be cool if you'd share how things progressed when you feel like it. =) Yes professional help is what he needs, but giving him other advice in addition to that isn't bad advice. A good psychologist will be able to help him, but he will only get out of this if he is willing to make changes in his life which means taking steps you may have never taken. Just talking to more/random people will make you feel better, including the psychologist but this is something that will take time and a healthy lifestyle. 1. Stop drinking 2. Get a psychologist that you feel comfortable with and just start talking (just open up and talk, this is the hardiest part but if your psychologist doesn't hear the worst of it they cannot help you), good psychologists may be hard to get an appointment with, don't let this discourage you and if you don't like your psychologist (after you've given them a chance) go ahead and find another 3. Start taking small steps to improve all aspects of your lifestyle, train yourself to eat nutritional foods and to skip out of foods you crave but know to be lacking in any nutrition 4. Talk to anyone, start with normal everyday small talk interactions and then move into forcing yourself into situations where you will need to talk more like volunteering, clubs, or work 5. Pay attention to yourself, find what motivates you even if only for a second, find what puts a spark on happiness in you, find what things in school feel the most rewarding to you and put in any extra effort you have into those 6. Create a future you want, stop boding on the past | ||
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Kaeru
Sweden552 Posts
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JOJOsc2news
3000 Posts
Every single step described in the post by Efekkt is excellent advice! I assume your sleeping habits might be affected by your current situation too so there is one thing I would add. Make sure that you sleep well. Don't go to bed too late and therefore wake up late in the day - feeling numb (which might be nice because you can block out the situation you are finding yourself in). Don't go to bed with a movie running - don't watch until you can't keep your eyes open just to avoid facing your own thoughts/fears/doubts before falling asleep. Try to get into a good sleeping rhythm, especially now when you are skipping so many classes. It's easy to get into a really fucked up sleeping pattern. Sleep keeps you healthy, physically and mentally. | ||
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lisward
Singapore959 Posts
On February 25 2013 00:28 JOJOsc2news wrote: Definitely go see a counsellor/psychologist. Sometimes it's just enough to talk to them and to tell them about how you feel right now. I don't think you will be kicked out, especially not in the situation you are in at the moment. That shouldn't be a relief though - it should be motivation to come out of that slump. All I can tell you is to go talk to someone. It really helps. Sometimes a change of scenery is what you need to gain perspective. Every single step described in the post by Efekkt is excellent advice! I assume your sleeping habits might be affected by your current situation too so there is one thing I would add. Make sure that you sleep well. Don't go to bed too late and therefore wake up late in the day - feeling numb (which might be nice because you can block out the situation you are finding yourself in). Don't go to bed with a movie running - don't watch until you can't keep your eyes open just to avoid facing your own thoughts/fears/doubts before falling asleep. Try to get into a good sleeping rhythm, especially now when you are skipping so many classes. It's easy to get into a really fucked up sleeping pattern. Sleep keeps you healthy, physically and mentally. Holy crap I always sleep with something on, usually a Starcraft stream, or Destiny's stream. And yeah I sleep from 2-5am. People keep telling me that I should man up and just move on, but its just not so simple, I can't just flick a switch and then be okay, it doesn't work that way. And for family and all, if you've read my blogs you'd know largely that my family is a big cause of this, so its really hard to talk to family, and I have tried a few times, only to really regret doing so. The only person who I'm really close to is my ex, but I don't bother telling her this kind of stuff because she'll just think I'm a pussy and give her another reason to loathe me. | ||
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YoruWaAkeru
41 Posts
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Subversive
Australia2229 Posts
On February 24 2013 18:41 r.Evo wrote: If someone is telling you that he can't properly function in his normal daily life it's not about "feeling a bit sad" and "just go work out a little bit". Jesus, TL. Professional help is most likely your best option at this point. If possible, I recommend going with someone you trust to help out with second opinions about the guy. Also don't be afraid to switch to a different doctor if you don't feel comfortable / feel treated wrongly. Make sure to tell the guy that you've been drinking recently and, if possible, explore options that include taking a break for a certain timeframe to get back on track. Best of luck, would be cool if you'd share how things progressed when you feel like it. =) Everyone r.Evo said. And everything Scarecrow said later. The rest of the advice here is mostly useless bullshit. They're minor things that will help someone who is sad or going through a tough time, but not someone with serious depression - which it sounds like you have. I can only reiterate how important it is to seek professional help and to find a health-care professional who you trust. As r.Evo says, don't be afraid to switch doctors if you're not getting anything out of it. It can take time to find someone who can really help you. Going through depression is a horrible thing and is only magnified when those around you don't understand what you're going through, or worse, think you're malingering. From what I've heard Singapore is pretty intense in it's attitude towards study, so that must be an additional burden at the moment. Taking a break from study might be a good idea, if that's feasible. You're not going to always feel like this, even if it seems like that now. | ||
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Scarecrow
Korea (South)9172 Posts
On February 25 2013 01:00 YoruWaAkeru wrote: The opporunity is still there but instead of getting better and improve your life, you just sit there waiting for the change. + Show Spoiler + http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oy0Lj7RkjkU&list=UU1d28mrBqCQliL_N48tZZiw&index=45 Surprisingly, inspirational youtube videos don't cure depression nor does telling the person to stop sitting around being sad. This thread mostly reads like a top 10 list of things not to say to a depressed person. | ||
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JOJOsc2news
3000 Posts
On February 25 2013 01:45 Scarecrow wrote: Surprisingly, inspirational youtube videos don't cure depression nor does telling the person to stop sitting around being sad. This thread reads like a top 10 list of things not to say to a depressed person. Indeed. There is good advice in here though and that's what matters. Seeking professional help is step number one. | ||
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Recognizable
Netherlands1552 Posts
On February 25 2013 01:00 YoruWaAkeru wrote: The opporunity is still there but instead of getting better and improve your life, you just sit there waiting for the change. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oy0Lj7RkjkU&list=UU1d28mrBqCQliL_N48tZZiw&index=45 Do these videos actually help? Are there people truly unmotivated and suddenly change their life after watching one of these videos? | ||
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lisward
Singapore959 Posts
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Azera
3800 Posts
On February 25 2013 03:04 Recognizable wrote: Do these videos actually help? Are there people truly unmotivated and suddenly change their life after watching one of these videos? Yes, they do. the most inspirational video that i came across on TL: Also relevant to the blog in a way. Chin-up buddy. | ||
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ETisME
12348 Posts
A few years ago, I had to restart my uni study because of some visa issues and had to go study somewhere else. My dad bombed me all the time, I was under lots of stress since I was afraid no uni will take me up. I was in my home town, jobless and not studying. Eventually a uni picked me up and this time I make sure I am happy and cheerful and experience this uni life so much that the previous down time was nothing but a small price to pay for this. Sure I skip class and get depressed at results, both leading to my poor GPA but I figure that it is more important for myself to remain emotionally positive and happy, while also not affecting my classmate's group assignments etc. I took up some responsibility in university, try to develop some skills that are not found in books. Don't let people take a pity on you, be confident, know your strength and weakness. And BE POSITIVE. There is no truth, only perception. The world is how you perceive it to be. | ||
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Clbull
United Kingdom1439 Posts
On February 24 2013 05:36 lisward wrote: I received a call last Friday, that I may be kicked out of school. What happened was that, I didn't turn up for one of my exams, and I was repeating that module. I took a medical leave that day, but I submitted the medical certificate late, and they may not let me sit for the exam, and you can't fail a module twice. Every fucking semester I keep thinking to myself that it'll get better but in truth it just keeps getting worse and worse, I can't find the motivation to do anything at all. I talked about this before in one of my previous blogs, the blog specifically on child abuse. I really have no one to talk to and I'm going to seek out professional help on Monday and if I really do get kicked out of school I think its the end for me. Sigh, I've been skipping classes like crazy this semester, because as of late I just wanted to fucking hide in a hole and run away from everyone. Everybody's all like, what the fuck is wrong with your attitude, but I just really can't be bothered, nothing seems to matter when you're unhappy all the fucking time. I just think about my whole life, like what I've accomplished, what happened, and its all just fucking regret and anger, things that I could never control, fear, unhappiness. The only reason I don't give up is in fear that maybe, like if I just end my life, I'll just wake up and have to fucking re-live it like some sort of cycle. As of recent I've been drinking a lot, wishing that I'll get drunk, but I never do, I just get more unhappy, well I'm writing this just after drinking, so yeah. Wish there was a way to get rid of this emptiness. If you get kicked out, sue your school. | ||
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Mothra
United States1448 Posts
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vaL4r
Germany240 Posts
+ Show Spoiler [have a virtual one] + ![[image loading]](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbjjf1KDuG1r09h75o1_250.gif) I don't think so either Recognizable: On February 25 2013 03:04 Recognizable wrote: Do these videos actually help? Are there people truly unmotivated and suddenly change their life after watching one of these videos? | ||
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lisward
Singapore959 Posts
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r.Evo
Germany14080 Posts
On February 26 2013 16:06 lisward wrote: Psychiatrist said I had Dysthymia and she wanted to wait a week before decided which course of treatment to take, be it therapy or medication. If you feel comfortable and in good hands with her and the way she treats you so far then by all means roll with it, she can offer you more help than any single one of us here. gl. =) | ||
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Game
3191 Posts
On February 25 2013 03:04 Recognizable wrote: Do these videos actually help? Are there people truly unmotivated and suddenly change their life after watching one of these videos? I see them and they play as a motivational thought when I backtrack in my mind about what I'm doing, and what I'm doing it for. While I have I guess a regular amount of motivation to graduate from college since my mother was the first in the entire family to do so, they do directly change my life. | ||
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Lysenko
Iceland2128 Posts
Let me tell you that it's a blow from which you can recover. In my case, I motivated myself to put effort into the goal of getting back into Harvey Mudd and finishing, and when I returned, my grades were significantly better. College comes at a difficult time for a lot of people and it's worth understanding that you may be in a very different position in a year or two if you don't lose hope. So, talk to your doctors, family, friends, stay connected, do your best to find a sensible next step, and keep on going. Life is long and there's room to make mistakes and still succeed. You're not a broken person for being unmotivated or depressed, it's just one of life's challenges. I wish you all the best! | ||
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Subversive
Australia2229 Posts
On February 26 2013 16:06 lisward wrote: Psychiatrist said I had Dysthymia and she wanted to wait a week before decided which course of treatment to take, be it therapy or medication. I would have thought it sounded more serious than that, but good luck with whatever you decide to do. A combination of the two is often most effective. On February 26 2013 17:26 Game wrote: I see them and they play as a motivational thought when I backtrack in my mind about what I'm doing, and what I'm doing it for. While I have I guess a regular amount of motivation to graduate from college since my mother was the first in the entire family to do so, they do directly change my life. This thread isn't about you. | ||
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Game
3191 Posts
On February 27 2013 02:16 Subversive wrote: I would have thought it sounded more serious than that, but good luck with whatever you decide to do. A combination of the two is often most effective. This thread isn't about you. Nor is it about you. | ||
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