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Hello again, people of TL.
It is my third girl blog and I admit I have come to like this community, even if sometimes the comments are harsh. Nonetheless, they help shape a rational view on the subject.
After my girlfriend left me (see my previous blogs), I started no contact with her. I was hurt but I had a bit of dignity still, and chasing her after she is the one who broke up would have been stupid and stalkerish. So I promised myself to remain silent for at least 3-4 weeks. The last time we saw each others and we talked was on december 24, so it is almost 3 weeks in now. I thought she was over me, but lately things are not as easy and I have started to have some doubts. This is way I want your opinion, TL 
1) My ex is not seeing anyone since the breakup. I'm 100% sure: our town is small and I have my sources. I don't consider this to be significative: I'm not over her and I'm not dating anyone.
2) Even if she wanted to look like the tough one in the break up, the one who was fed up and therefore the break up was a relief for her, she is suffering too: I know this from her mother and her sister, and from a common friend of us.
3) Here we go to the juicest part, the one that made me write this blog: her facebook activity. First of all, she still has all our pictures on facebook. She doesn't keep any picture of her exes on facebook, so I would have expect her to delete them (even if not in the following days, at least in the following weeks). Second, she started posting things that seems addressed to me, and this looks big. Here are some examples:
-Three days ago she posted a part of a poem about love. The whole poem talks about the dangers of love, that even if love makes you suffer, you have to go for it or your life will be empty. She posted a part of the poem which was: 'And when it envelopes you, fall for him. Even if between its feathers, its sword may wound you.'
-Two days ago she posted this terribly sad song, where some lyrics were 'our love is one of a kind / if I'd fall, would you fall for me? If you want to check it out, the song is Ed Sheeran - Fall.
-Yesterday evening she posted Aerosmith - What could have been love - and commented 'it's a DRUG. a drug...' The lyrics of this song are incredibly meaningful. I'll paste just one stanza and you can check the rest out if you want.
I wake up and wonder how everything went wrong.
Am I the one to blame?
I gave up and left you for a nowhere-bound train.
Now that train has come and gone.
I close my eyes and see you lying in my bed.
And I'm still dreaming of that day.
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So, what are your thoughts on this TL? My view on the subject is that she may want to come back with me, but her pride and her lack of courage do not make her approach me right now. I could approach her, but since she left me I believe she should be the one to make the first move. Today I posted a song on my facebook that we used to like and talks about love and doing stuff. She should interpret this as 'a door is open, if you try'. I will maintain no contact for others 14 days. I hope she will contact me before that, otherwise I'll think about it... now I'm curios about your opinions, since you are not personally involved with this 
SoSexy
 
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What the fuck man.
The real question is do you want her back after she left you?
Answer that.
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Yeah I do, because I believe that she loves me and we can have a wonderful life together if she can fix her psychological problems. I want to be there, help her, be by her side.
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Go for it then man. Seeing the facts you have written...for me there's two likelihoods:
1) She is single and not looking, emotionally drained. She has not put her pics of you away because it helps warding off potential wooers, making it easier for her.
2) She is having doubts that dumping you was the right thing to do.
She might be between the two. Or of course she might actually be over you but just be being lazy about deleting your pics. Anyway...while they are still up...you should perhaps try to call her and tell her you thought you were good together and say you think she should reconsider. Ask her out on a fresh date and ask her to see if she likes it...if she doesn't say you will let her on her way.
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I would try. Wait a few more days like you said if you really want to, then go for it.
If you want her, what's left to lose?
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She's making sure she could get you back if she wants. Once you show an ounce of interest she's gonna dump you like a shit in the woods.
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I think I'll wait at least a week more and then I'll see, if she keeps posting sad stuff maybe she is really saying 'please come back, I don't have the guts to call you because I did something so shameful in leaving you.' Of course the best option would be for her to contact me before the end of january but hey, this is life changing and even if I have to go through hell at least I want to be sure I played all my cards perfectly.
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It's not stalkerish if you just ask her if [whatever reason she broke up with you] isn't a problem, and if she wants the get back together again.
It is stalkerish if you continue asking her, over and over, after she repeatedly says no.
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On January 11 2013 08:36 jrkirby wrote:
It's not stalkerish if you just ask her if [whatever reason she broke up with you] isn't a problem, and if she wants the get back together again.
It is stalkerish if you continue asking her, over and over, after she repeatedly says no.
It's a bit more complicated than this: if she comes back, I would ask her for some conditions, otherwise the story would fail again. She needs to visit a psychologist, and that's why this story bothers me: it's not 'I don't love you', it's 'I have a mess in my head, I never wanted to take care of it and it's easier to do like that instead of thinking'.
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On January 11 2013 08:39 SoSexy wrote:Show nested quote +On January 11 2013 08:36 jrkirby wrote:
It's not stalkerish if you just ask her if [whatever reason she broke up with you] isn't a problem, and if she wants the get back together again.
It is stalkerish if you continue asking her, over and over, after she repeatedly says no. It's a bit more complicated than this: if she comes back, I would ask her for some conditions, otherwise the story would fail again. She needs to visit a psychologist, and that's why this story bothers me: it's not 'I don't love you', it's 'I have a mess in my head, I never wanted to take care of it and it's easier to do like that instead of thinking'.
Oh. You never really said why she broke up with you. This makes a bit more sense now.
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On January 11 2013 08:48 jrkirby wrote:Show nested quote +On January 11 2013 08:39 SoSexy wrote:On January 11 2013 08:36 jrkirby wrote:
It's not stalkerish if you just ask her if [whatever reason she broke up with you] isn't a problem, and if she wants the get back together again.
It is stalkerish if you continue asking her, over and over, after she repeatedly says no. It's a bit more complicated than this: if she comes back, I would ask her for some conditions, otherwise the story would fail again. She needs to visit a psychologist, and that's why this story bothers me: it's not 'I don't love you', it's 'I have a mess in my head, I never wanted to take care of it and it's easier to do like that instead of thinking'. Oh. You never really said why she broke up with you. This makes a bit more sense now.
I demand a blog to sustain my need for girl blogs from the girl blog gods to explain this matter/
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On January 11 2013 08:55 docvoc wrote:Show nested quote +On January 11 2013 08:48 jrkirby wrote:On January 11 2013 08:39 SoSexy wrote:On January 11 2013 08:36 jrkirby wrote:
It's not stalkerish if you just ask her if [whatever reason she broke up with you] isn't a problem, and if she wants the get back together again.
It is stalkerish if you continue asking her, over and over, after she repeatedly says no. It's a bit more complicated than this: if she comes back, I would ask her for some conditions, otherwise the story would fail again. She needs to visit a psychologist, and that's why this story bothers me: it's not 'I don't love you', it's 'I have a mess in my head, I never wanted to take care of it and it's easier to do like that instead of thinking'. Oh. You never really said why she broke up with you. This makes a bit more sense now. I demand a blog to sustain my need for girl blogs from the girl blog gods to explain this matter/
If you just check my blog, there are the other 2 parts!
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On January 11 2013 08:55 docvoc wrote:Show nested quote +On January 11 2013 08:48 jrkirby wrote:On January 11 2013 08:39 SoSexy wrote:On January 11 2013 08:36 jrkirby wrote:
It's not stalkerish if you just ask her if [whatever reason she broke up with you] isn't a problem, and if she wants the get back together again.
It is stalkerish if you continue asking her, over and over, after she repeatedly says no. It's a bit more complicated than this: if she comes back, I would ask her for some conditions, otherwise the story would fail again. She needs to visit a psychologist, and that's why this story bothers me: it's not 'I don't love you', it's 'I have a mess in my head, I never wanted to take care of it and it's easier to do like that instead of thinking'. Oh. You never really said why she broke up with you. This makes a bit more sense now. I demand a blog to sustain my need for girl blogs from the girl blog gods to explain this matter/
same...
imo if she havent contacted you this far, he is not going to, even if she actually wants to get back
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ah yes, your ex comparing you to heroin or some kind of other lovely drug that leaves you wasted, sad shell of your former self is some kind of subtle plea for you to take her back
maybe she's just trying going through her own method of getting over a judgemental, manipulative ex and you should carry on forward as well while trying to figure out why shit went south (hint: it has something to do with calling her a slut!)
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You don't know anything Hawk, and the fact that you keep insulting me every blog entry doesn't do you any honour.
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keep radio silence until she approaches you
after she sends you a message or text, or leaves you a voicemail or whatever, wait another two days.. then reply.. try to be a bit aloof and let her start chasing you
don't ever chase her
oh, and make it so she can't see anything on your facebook except your picture... not remove her (you can if you want, thought) but make it so that she can't see your wall
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On January 12 2013 02:42 LaSt)ChAnCe wrote:
keep radio silence until she approaches you
after she sends you a message or text, or leaves you a voicemail or whatever, wait another two days.. then reply.. try to be a bit aloof and let her start chasing you
don't ever chase her
oh, and make it so she can't see anything on your facebook except your picture... not remove her (you can if you want, thought) but make it so that she can't see your wall
What if she doesn't approach me because she is full of shame, but keeps leaving hints??
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On January 12 2013 02:35 SoSexy wrote:
You don't know anything Hawk, and the fact that you keep insulting me every blog entry doesn't do you any honour.
i'm only going off of stuff you yourself have written in your blogs, which is what makes you seem like a judgemental, hypocritical narcassist:
Judging her for having been with other dudes before (or as you eloquently stated: 'I don't like your slutty past')
You've only slept with virgins in the past, which is why this bothers you
You have two blogs dwelling on the fact that she's has sex while not being in a relationship and other past relationships, as if that is any of your business as long as she isn't giving you a disease or still seeing anyone
You've dreamt of killing her ex boyfriends, while simultaneously judging her for not having any contact with any of her exes
You assume that she was used/was a whore because she doesn't talk to exes
You dismissed any criticisms of you she has and focus on how bad she was, justifying anything you've done because of that
Now you claim she has a psychological problem (what, exactly?), and would need to see a quack if you were to take her back (ignoring that you should be the one going to a doctor to fix the above mental issues)
all shit you said.
besides, this thread is for advice, and mine is to stop stalking this chick and go get your head on straight because you got some major hang ups
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Hawk, I did mistake and I never said I did not. However, I believe that people change (for the better, in this case). Do you know anyone who behaves perfectly in every situation? I don't, because that one would be God or a beast. I had my issues, which I resolved. My ex had some issues too, deriving from the divorce of her parents and a bad ex boyfriend (not me): this is not stuff I'm making up, she used to go to a psychologist. I did my mistakes, sure: my problem was the past, my ex's problem was jealousy. She was even jealous of her mother, and I can't even remember how many times she slapped me because according to her I was 'being flirty with her mom or her sister'. I love her, and all I want is to help her clear her head and be happy with her. If I knew 100% sure that she is ok and she doesn't want to be with me, I would accept it: but she is not (this is said by her friend and her family.) The feeling of someone you love going to waste is too much for me to handle, I want to be near her. Hope this cleared some issues... I'm not a 'monster' or anything bad, I had my insecurities which I finally resolved. I hope she does that too.
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Why do you have to set terms in a relationship? Maybe you should giver her some terms back that you can fix so she doesnt feel 100% freaked out about seeing a psychologist
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They can, on rare occasion, but people do not change in a 2 month period on their own after they got dumped as you claim to have. That's about as cliche as you can possibly get. you don't go from creepy insecure and freakishly jealous to normal in eight weeks.
and her jealousy shit was almost assuredly tied to the insecurity she had from you judging her constantly
leave the poor girl alone and actually go fix yourself instead of pretending to be fixed to get her back
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On January 12 2013 02:45 SoSexy wrote:Show nested quote +On January 12 2013 02:42 LaSt)ChAnCe wrote:
keep radio silence until she approaches you
after she sends you a message or text, or leaves you a voicemail or whatever, wait another two days.. then reply.. try to be a bit aloof and let her start chasing you
don't ever chase her
oh, and make it so she can't see anything on your facebook except your picture... not remove her (you can if you want, thought) but make it so that she can't see your wall What if she doesn't approach me because she is full of shame, but keeps leaving hints??
then she doesn't care enough and isn't worth your time (if she's leaving hints and you go after them, you're chasing.. and you don't wanna do that)
make sure to talk to other girls on their fb walls... don't put your dick on the table, but be at least a little flirty... even if she can't see your wall, your shit will show up in her feed..
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For you people who followed me, it's 'officially' over. I don't feel like writing ten pages to explain everything, but everything ended with a fight (verbal fight of course) and bad things were told by both side. Have luck with your relationships everyone - I sure did not.
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On January 19 2013 02:32 SoSexy wrote:
For you people who followed me, it's 'officially' over. I don't feel like writing ten pages to explain everything, but everything ended with a fight (verbal fight of course) and bad things were told by both side. Have luck with your relationships everyone - I sure did not.
it happens sometimes man. give it time, theres other girls out there.
on another note : screw relationships be happy by yourself.
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On January 19 2013 02:32 SoSexy wrote:
For you people who followed me, it's 'officially' over. I don't feel like writing ten pages to explain everything, but everything ended with a fight (verbal fight of course) and bad things were told by both side. Have luck with your relationships everyone - I sure did not.
I feel for you. I dated a girl whose parents divorced, and she had a fatalistic outlook on relationships. She broke up with me twice, both a year apart. Both times it felt like she was frustrated that the relationship hadn't failed yet so decided that she would make it fail. Both times it felt like she regretted it (and she certainly did the first time, I decided she was too much trouble the second time so I'll never know for sure if she actually regrets leaving me). Sometimes there is nothing you can do to stay with a girl like that, and honestly you're better off finding someone who is more stable.
Now is your chance to grow as a person. If you do it now, you'll be prepared for the next girl.
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Dam, I'm late to this one. Better luck in the future.
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EPT
