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I only seem to write blogs late at night when I'm in some form of distress. 
My mom is 5'6"-5'7" and weighs 80 pounds. She is skeletal and has been for several years. She doesn't eat much; I think I eat more in one meal than she does the entire day. What she does eat, she inevitably throws up within the next few hours. She'll take two bites of a sandwich and then stop. When we urge her to eat more, she'll declare herself full or she'll complain about the food tasting bad.
When we go grocery shopping, we let her buy whatever foods she likes. No go. She doesn't eat much of even her own cooking. Take her to restaurants she likes? She still doesn't eat that much. Buy simple foods that shouldn't aggravate the stomach? If only that was the cure ... she eats like one spoonful of those small tubs of yogurt you can buy individually at the market before giving the rest to me. Happened twice this past week. Apparently they tasted bad. (I wanted to scream at her the second time it happened. It's one fucking small container of yogurt. Even if it tastes bad, can you not finish it?)
She constantly complains about stomach pain, migraines, and heart burn. My dad gives her medication, but she will feel ill if the pills are too large (apparently her throat is small and she says they get lodged in her esophagus and she can feel them stay there for an entire day?) and they don't stay down anyways, because obviously she doesn't take meds with food. She will get up in the middle of the night to vomit. She throws up in the morning too; I've woken up countless times throughout the years to the sound of vomiting coming from the restroom.
We've taken her to the doctor many times already over the past several years. She used to maintain that she had stomach ulcers and couldn't eat much or she'd feel like vomiting. The doctors say they can't find anything wrong with her stomach and have tentatively suggested a psychological issue. She thinks it's stress and anxiety. I have my suspicions that it's just a well-disguised eating disorder and have hinted to her my opinion. She simply snapped back at me, "Do you think I like being this way? I don't have the energy for anything!"
(The basis for my claim = boxes filled with laxatives my dad found in her closet a few months ago. He told me they were prescribed by a doctor, but fuck, you do not keep an entire box of laxatives in your goddamn closet, you keep it in the medicine cabinet.)
Anyways, she loses ~10-20 pounds every time she gets sick. She used to be a less-alarming 100 pounds last year, but she got sick over the winter and lost 20 pounds. She hasn't regained that weight yet. She was sent to the ER a few weeks ago (before I came home for the summer) due to low blood pressure.
Now, I understand TL's not a place for medical advice or diagnoses, but if anyone has had experience with a situation similar to this, let me know. Otherwise, thanks for reading. :/
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Way beyond anybody here. I'm sorry.
Therapy.
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It's a psychological issue. Therapy or she dies painfully and slowly.
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OP, as someone who has a mother with terminal illness, both mentally and physically, I can see a lot of her in your description of your mother. She might have this.
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Just from what you've written, I think you're right in that it is some kind of psychosis/eating disorder. My mom went through a similar, although much less damaging, phase years and years ago . She would basically only eat a baked potato and maybe some crackers for the entire day. She thought she was "cleansing" herself (she didn't do any of the vomiting, though). She was really into yoga and stuff like that at the time.
That lasted maybe 3-4 months, and she quit. She gets on weird food kicks every now and then (juicing, now she is on low sugar, but there are legitimate medical reasons for that), but has maintained a healthy weight the entire time.
I don't think there is anything physically wrong with your mom, it is all in her head, but that can be the hardest stuff to get over sometimes.
Hope she gets better.
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It definitely sounds like a psychological or eating disorder, but I have no proper degrees or credentials to make that call.
I'm glad she's gone to see doctors already. She's either going to be taking nutrients through her mouth or through tubes in the future, and hopefully she can find a way to still eat before she gets stuck in a hospital or worse
Good luck.
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It sounds like a serious psychological issue. She certainly needs help! Make her go to a therapy. At home, force her to eat stuff. Don't let any excuses slide by (If you are too young or don't feel like having enough authority, make your dad be thougher on her when she is supposed to eat)! Also, try to prevent the vomiting (scorn her, bring it up often, etc.). I also wonder if (medical) marihuana wouldn't help her appetite (and reduce pain).
Obviously, none of my suggestions have much merit to them, but the mother of a friend of mine withered away to bulimia and it really sounds like you have to take action as fast as possible. A psychologist should probably be your top priority right now.
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This made me feel really sad
I hope things work out, OP. Your mom's in my prayers.
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My mom gave birth to me drunk. This year, she tried killing herself I don't know how many times, tried killing my dad, me, my sister, and my neighbords. She always went on a booze cruise to another state and amazingly came back alive. I can't get the image of my mom downing three bottles of liquor in thirty minutes then collapsing naked outside in the rain.
There's nothing you can really do. If she wants to be like this, let her know how much it hurts you then ignore her. Don't give her any attention. Don't give her shit.
(There really is nothing you can do. You can't force someone into therapy, you can't force food down their throat, you can't force them to do shit because it's against the law.)
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I hope there is something you will find that will help.
I really do think she has some form of eating disorder as well, but it may in turn be caused by other factors. You don't necessarily consciously control an eating disorder in the first place, and you can feel terrible and out of control with one, of course... This is really serious and probably way over us. Maybe contact some of those here with medical training such as UmbraeternuS or Snet, etc, but I can't help you out even though I wish I could.
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Yeah, a psychologist/therapist is pretty much our last remaining option. The problem is convincing my mom it's necessary. I just had a conversation with her and brought it up, and she said that she's trying to take care of herself, is already seeing a doctor to get her heart/kidneys/everything checked out (she'd been complaining about chest pain and breathing issues for a while, and doctors can't figure out the cause, but ofc severely underweight ppl are prone to chest pain and fatigue ...), that it's only lately that she's been doing so bad because she was sick and that she was doing better before I got home, that she'll take care of herself ... I got a little angry at her after that and said that it's always been like this and that she always gets a little better but then gets worse again, and it doesn't improve her condition, and if what she's always done hasn't been helping, then obviously it's time to look for a new option. :/
I'm not sure if I got through to her, but at least she admitted to her bad habit of eating the foods that "trigger" her vomiting when she feels better again, because she likes to eat them ... I'm going to create a light eating schedule for her that at least gets a non-paltry amount of calories into her system and try to have her follow it and talk to her again about therapy this weekend.
Thanks for your words, guys, and thanks for reading. I really appreciate it. One day I'll write a girl blog actual progamer slash fanfic happy blog unrelated to health/family problems. ;;
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Good to hear from you babylon. Wish you guys the best of luck, and godspeed. We'll keep her in our thoughts and prayers, and we wish her a timely recovery.
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Wow, I am so sorry. You must be going through hell.
Take this with a grain of salt (like all internet advice) but it's very clear that she has an extremely serious eating disorder. I've seen this way more then I would have liked and I don't know if you're going to like the answer you're going to get from me. But I can tell you this much, the only person that can begin curing the disease is your mother. And even if she admits she has a problem it is an extremely difficult, slow and frustrating recovery with many set backs. Eating disorders are most often a type of addiction. And unlike any other addiction you can't eliminate the source of the addiction (which is food). There are drugs out there that may work (increase appetite or reduce the urge to purge) but they mess with a peson's mood and personality and a lot of people will stop taking them because of it. If she's having esophagus and chest pains she is in an extremely dangerous situation. I hope you can get her help soon.
Good Luck.
PS
I'm not sure if I got through to her, but at least she admitted to her bad habit of eating the foods that "trigger" her vomiting when she feels better again, because she likes to eat them
This is pretty much the definition of the bulimia cycle of binging and purging. This has to be the first thing that you tell any psychiatrist that you deal with.
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tell her to smoke weed. im not even kidding, I have trouble eating in the morning due to no appetite and constantly vomit (nothing comes out but it makes this burp-like sound) if i don't eat anything.
smoke a couple bowls then eat, my stomach aches are gone afterwards and i feel a lot better... and high
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TLADT24920 Posts
I'm sorry to hear about your mother As mentioned, it definitely sounds like an eating disorder. Fixing up a light schedule sounds like a good idea and avoiding the triggers that she mentioned. She really needs to see a psychologist though imo if this has been going on for a long time. Good luck!
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in my opinion its defnitelly an eating disorder and its all psychological.i hope she gets better soon man,i feel for your worries!
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Im pretty sure her symptoms are resulting from lack of diet and from vomiting
they seem pretty similar to bulimic symptoms. (Your mother has them because she throws up= same symptoms as bulimia)
+ Show Spoiler +
Weight gain
Abdominal pain, bloating
Swelling of the hands and feet
Chronic sore throat, hoarseness
Broken blood vessels in the eyes
Swollen cheeks and salivary glands
Weakness and dizziness
Tooth decay and mouth sores
Acid reflux or ulcers
Ruptured stomach or esophagus
Loss of menstrual periods
Chronic constipation from laxative abuse
as said from others its probably a psychological thing...
keep strong man!
EDIT- to clarify my point ^^
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I can't imagine the hell she's living in. Get professional help for her immediately. Nothing about food is right in her head, and she needs help.
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On September 07 2012 14:00 babylon wrote:
Yeah, a psychologist/therapist is pretty much our last remaining option.
Do this immediately. Not only is this unhealthy behaviour but it's actually dangerous. Eating disorders do lasting damage to the body if not treated and are potentially lethal. If your mother doesn't go herself your family should make sure she does.
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I'm a doctor, and I can tell you this is way beyond anything anyone can do here on TL.
Dude... An eating disorder that gets to that point is a serious issue. Don't wait any longer. Get her professional help. Therapy by a psychiatryst and support from you guys will be her only way out. I just hope you can find the strength within you to stay cool and keep being there for her.
Stay strong, mate... She needs you.
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She said she ate more this morning and @ lunchtime. Unfortunately it's difficult for me to monitor anything she eats before dinner because she's at work at that time, and she eats a miniscule amount for dinner. (If she eats past 6:00, she will throw up sometime during the night.) I can only make a plan and hope she keeps to it and hope she doesn't lie to me about what she's eating (whether intentionally or unintentionally, the other day she told me she ate a sandwich when she only ate 1/4 of one ...). I'm trying to encourage her to go seek out her company's EAP to get a referral from them for professional treatment.
Other than that it's hard to determine who to go to. Searching the internet just throws up a bunch of individual webpages and a list of possible therapists/nutritionists/dieticians/psychologists/counselors in the area (some of whom are more into alternative medicine than anything else afaik). I'm hoping she can just get a trusted referral from her company. Otherwise it feels like I'll be picking names out of a hat and hoping they work, but I suspect any licensed professional treatment is better than none at this point.
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From what I've learned in psych class (College level stuff) It sounds like annorexia nervosa, you should take her to a psychologist to check it out, I am not a credible source. I'm sorry you have to deal with this, its time she sees a therapist.
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I'm getting a little fed up with trying to convince her to see a therapist.
Last week, she said that she's too busy, that it's too expensive, that she'll go in October. Then she turns around and says today that she wants to visit me in Chicago this month when I go back (right before school starts) to have a little vacation, and I'm just like, "With the plane ticket there and back, you can go to 2-3 therapy sessions. Also, what happened to being too busy?"
I know I hurt her by saying that, but seriously? What the hell? Are you too "busy" to take care of yourself or aren't you? Is it too expensive to take care of yourself or isn't it? 
(She did hit 86 lbs yesterday though, so that is an improvement. I think she is eating a little bit more.
It is just super-weird to me that she spends so much time looking at food magazines at the store and reading recipes or watching the food channel -- I swear, the food channel is always on when she's watching TV -- but not eating asdfsjk;df;asdf)
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On September 12 2012 02:45 babylon wrote:I'm getting a little fed up with trying to convince her to see a therapist. Last week, she said that she's too busy, that it's too expensive, that she'll go in October. Then she turns around and says today that she wants to visit me in Chicago this month when I go back (right before school starts) to have a little vacation, and I'm just like, "With the plane ticket there and back, you can go to 2-3 therapy sessions. Also, what happened to being too busy?" I know I hurt her by saying that, but seriously? What the hell? Are you too "busy" to take care of yourself or aren't you? Is it too expensive to take care of yourself or isn't it? (She did hit 86 lbs yesterday though, so that is an improvement. I think she is eating a little bit more. It is just super-weird to me that she spends so much time looking at food magazines at the store and reading recipes or watching the food channel -- I swear, the food channel is always on when she's watching TV -- but not eating asdfsjk;df;asdf)
Yeah, and she'll be reading food labels, nutrition information, etc. Sure signs that it's an eating disorder (as if that weren't obvious). Keep working on getting her there.
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EPT
