Hey guys, nothing heavy, but thanks for all the well wishing, today, 4 days after my surgery I finally am beginning to feel normal again.
5 Hours of Success! So what happened was that I was supposed to get a couple of small incisions in my ankle, but in the end they sliced it right open as there was a lot more damage than they had expected within in ankle joint, so they ended up cleaning up the entire joint, not just section of it (meaning that they scraped and reformed the cartilage where they could and micro drilled where I had a hole), but the problem was that for most people, they could get right into the joint with some minor maneuvering, but not for mine.
My tendons were so tightly holding the joint together that they finally needed to open up the entire ankle joint and put in some clamps to get at the entire joint enough to do the work. The surgeon said it was the first time he had seen someone with such tight joints, and even when they stretched the tendons to get at the joint, the clamps ended up popping off a couple of times because of the strength of the tendons.
Before I went under I told the surgeon, 'do whatever you can so I can play rugby again one time, if you need to graft it, do it, whatever it takes'. So from a 1 hour surgery it went to 5 hours.
Getting on to the operating table was cool, and there were two cute girl intern doctors there too (haha), but about 5 people, as I was getting gassed to go out, I took about 3 deep breaths, and don't remember anything else until I work up after the surgery was over.
No Morphine =( I wasn't in a huge amount of pain, because my body was still pretty much knocked out, but I started to feel the pain and I asked for morphine, but my wife and my sister-in-law told the doctors not to give to me cause they thought I wasn't really in pain enough. They were actually laughing at me cause it was pretty obviously that I just wanted to have the morphine ^^ oh well. So I spent 3 days i the hospital for recovery, it was supposed to be a week, but the surgeon said that I was fine to go after the 2nd day, I think its because the pain killer drugs that I was on were enough and I didn't get a fever or any other complications so Thank God and so I got sent home in wheelchair which I'm now sitting in.
The first 36 hours were just really frustrating because it took about 10 hours after the surgery where I could take a piss and it wasn't until today where I totally feel normal inside, simply because the anesthesia basically paused all my internal systems, and I was dizzy, but most of all, I was so weak. I mean I could only focus for about 10 mins intently, then I'd be totally wiped out and would need to rest for about a hour before I could even begin to do anything. On the second day I go on the wheelchair and wheeled myself around the floor for about 10mins, and I was totally gassed out, like dizzy from the exhaustion. Even sitting up right after my surgery was near impossible to do.
I've had this feeling before, when I had a CT of my organs done as a major health check up, lots of radiation which basically knocked my energy levels down for about 2 months. But this was about 10 times worse that than. But of course, I know, I just finished surgery and was under for 5 hours, what did I expect? Thing was that I had some contracts due and I was just so knocked out, that on the day that I was to check out, I ended up gritting my teeth and finishing up a contract and sent it out, then got home took and nap and finished another contract and sent it out and passed out for 5 hours.
Reality Check The things I came away from this are, fuck if I ever wanna go into surgery again for any reason, and I'm quitting smoking 100% as of today. Met some friends who flew into Korea to meet with me and ask me some business related stuff, they smoked 2 packs in front of me, I resisted the urge to smoke with them for 4 hours then felt my throat locking up from the second hand smoke, and by the time I had lost my resolve, luckily they had smoked all the cigarettes in front of them. I opted to just go home after that meeting (plus the fact that I'm on crutches and when you're 115kg, crutches is fucking hard work to move your body around), and I ended up getting blisters on my palms from the pressure of walking about 400 m on crutches.
Not Being me I fucking hated this feeling of being unable to work, to focus and get something done. I think at the back of my mind, I've always thought, no matte what happens, if I focus and do, it will be done, and no matter how sick or drunk or fat or tired, I've always been able to press on, but fml, surgery, wow, totally something else- and this is all obvious, but until you experience it, and when you have such a macho rambo type mentality like me, I really couldn't ever see myself as an enfeebled person in any capacity. I'm the guy when I dream I'm fighting, and sometimes you feel as though you can't punch cause you're like in water or something, my intent is so much that I actually throw the punch while I'm sleeping (my wife thinks its cute when I do that cause she knows I'm dreaming about being in some big fight, but my punches are these arm flopping movements while I'm sleeping). But when I say, I'm going to do this, I'm going to hit this, I'm gonna do it or die trying.
But what about when you can't even lift a finger towards it, that the very thought of the action makes you so exhausted that you nearly pass out. Even when I had the CT, I still could power through it, drawing up some reserves,but then I'd be wiped out, but here, I was wiped out from the start. Quite the reality check. Always thought that I was fundamentally wolverine, mind you the fat happy human Korean version, but apparently this isn't the case.
Sometimes You Just Got to Experience it to Believe it As my strength has rapidly come back at this point for me to write this post, I'm truly changed by the experience in having for the first time in my life to be completely without anything that I felt were things that would never let me down. My strength, my focus, just gone. I just never ever want to feel that way again,
I didn't experience anything about life and death, my surgery was very very minor one, not life threatening in the least, one of the best specialist surgeons for this condition in Korea, and I'm not feeling a afraid to be injured again and not go and play rugby, but rather, I never want to put myself in that position where instead of me going for surgery because of a non-life threatening surgery that it was for something more serious that would require many surgeries or being under for a longer period of time. Things that can be prevented by me fully not smoking any longer, or excessive drinking or not keeping my health in check. To live a life exhausted and weak all the time with only a glimmer of your peak performance available for minutes out of the day. It is hard to even begin to envision that, and that scared me shitless. Forget about not being able to provide for your family or whatever, to not to be the person you've defined yourself to be, like a run who can't run anymore. Selfish view point, I agree, but honest, and to have that reality check now in my late 30's is something I feel as a huge blessing because I'm not one to listen to others when it comes to macho aspect of my life.
You Fucking Cunt My wife's cousin, is the head of a Chaebol subsidiarity in China, and about 2 years ago, we go out for drinks and his family is on leave from Shanghai and he's come back to visit Korea. As we're popping down some beers, he turns to me and says, 'I want you to listen to me, you cocky little fucker, take fucking care of your health you fucking cunt' and my wife and his sister just freeze, in Korean it sounded really bad, and while he is about 8 years my senior, if he was anyone except for my wife's first cousin, I would have knocked him out for using that language to me in Korea. At the time I just shrugged it off, that he was a bit drunk, he just wanted to drive the point home, but the language he used was pretty extreme, I wouldn't use that language unless I already decided that I was beat some guy like I didn't care if he woke up or not- like that extreme type of language. And I've never used that level of derogatory Korean, ever. But I actually get it now, after 2 years and I bring up his position because its like he really knew what type of mentality I was in, if I were to paraphrase it,
'look you cocky little prick, I know exactly how you feel, you think you're the best at want you do in business and you're good at it, but what allows you be as good as you are is your health. If your health is fucked then whatever business you can do, you won't be able to do, and you need to really fucking understand this now before you get fucked and fuck up everything,' but it came out the simple one line Korean way of '...you fucking cunt etc', but I still wouldn't have been able to understand it even if he had explained it to me in a more detailed way.
In any case, point finally taken, whatever happens at this point, I'll make the best of it. I get my stitched off on the 23rd, if I can I'll take a picture of the scar for fun and post it up, otherwise after the stitches are off, I'm in cast for 3 months, but in September 2013, I will play rugby again. ^^
I'm glad to hear you're feelin better, even if slowly.
I recently had to take care of my mother after a series of 3 major operations and I know exactly how bad that shit can get
Also, FUCK YES for quitting smoking! I started smoking 4 or so years ago like the fucking stupid kid I was and a couple weeks ago the friend I started smoking with called me to tell me he was never smoking a cigarette again cause his tongue was turning brown and getting sores on it. We both haven't touched a cigarette since and boy does it feel good to breath again.
On July 15 2012 00:42 Liquid`Nazgul wrote: MightyAtom 2.0
Glad your surgery went well and you handled it. All the old people in our culture always harp about health and are annoyingly looking for the next fad, but its really true like you've learned. Good health is an enabler and everything we do or able to do is an extension of our body upkeep!
I don't have a good memory but I'm sure your 2nd child has had his 100day already! Congratulations.
Wow, I didn't know CT scans could do that to you O_O I had one recently and it literally just felt like a normal X-ray (i.e. no feeling whatsoever) but longer. Awesome to see that you're back up and ready to kick ass. Man, your wife's cousin definitely knew what he was talking about in retrospect; it's really unfortunate that the language he was using didn't come across completely, instead of just as serious/rude talk.
Definitely rooting for you to overcome smoking as well. It's so shitty for your body, and stopping smoking will definitely be great for your health. So good to have you back; wish I could word this more effectively, but in essence, welcome back and go on hwaiting ^^ let us know if/when you're able to enjoy rubgy one more time.
Sounds like quite an ordeal for you! I had my tonsils out a couple of months ago, first ever surgery, and I can definitely relate (to a lesser extent) the lethargy that you described. So strange how tired I felt considering all I did was lie on a bed for an hour or two.
Anyway, hope your recovery continues to go smoothly!
Glad to hear it worked out in the surgery and that you got some unexpected perspective from it. I went through a similar experience when my lung decided to collapse for no known medical reason.
Glad to hear that everything was a success. Also fuck your wife's cousin. He sound like a dick. I hate it when people wants to talk to you seriously but can't do it sober. Instead he lashes out on you while drunk. Dick move.
On July 15 2012 06:05 Antimatterz wrote: My uncle one day decided to quit smoking cold turkey, he said it was actually really easy for him to do. Hope the same goes for you as well :D
As we're popping down some beers, he turns to me and says, 'I want you to listen to me, you cocky little fucker, take fucking care of your health you fucking cunt' and my wife and his sister just freeze, in Korean it sounded really bad, and while he is about 8 years my senior, if he was anyone except for my wife's first cousin, I would have knocked him out for using that language to me in Korea.
Wow, you really hold first cousins in high regard. So if it was your wife's father you would have sent him to dreamland? Also, what if he gratuitously used the "F" word to the point of redundancy in some other country? What if he told you off in that neutral territory between North and South Korea that isn't really part of Korea at all? Lights out?
On July 15 2012 06:05 Antimatterz wrote: My uncle one day decided to quit smoking cold turkey, he said it was actually really easy for him to do. Hope the same goes for you as well :D
Must be pretty mentally solid O_O
It's surprisingly easy if you've made up your mind. I quit after smoking for 3-4 years by just not smoking again. I did try to smoke drunk a few months after but it felt horrible. My fiancee quit short after we started dating, because I wasn't a smoker. She smoked for 8 years.
It's either people are unsure how much they want to quit or some are addicted more than others. Hope it works out for OP
i'm personally interested in learning more about your operation. could you be a little more detailed with what exactly the surgery was and the complications? i'm studying to be a podiatrist so this is very interesting and relevant to me.
On July 15 2012 06:05 Antimatterz wrote: My uncle one day decided to quit smoking cold turkey, he said it was actually really easy for him to do. Hope the same goes for you as well :D
Must be pretty mentally solid O_O
I found quitting really easy too, the hardest thing is the temptation like 6 months down the line for me. I suppose that means I didn't really quit but I think I brought it back on by the sheer amount of "smoking" I did
On July 15 2012 01:58 Aerisky wrote: Fuck yeah, MightyAtom!
Wow, I didn't know CT scans could do that to you O_O I had one recently and it literally just felt like a normal X-ray (i.e. no feeling whatsoever) but longer. Awesome to see that you're back up and ready to kick ass. Man, your wife's cousin definitely knew what he was talking about in retrospect; it's really unfortunate that the language he was using didn't come across completely, instead of just as serious/rude talk.
Definitely rooting for you to overcome smoking as well. It's so shitty for your body, and stopping smoking will definitely be great for your health. So good to have you back; wish I could word this more effectively, but in essence, welcome back and go on hwaiting ^^ let us know if/when you're able to enjoy rubgy one more time.
It can't. This is a classic example of two independt incidents which happen by chance at the same time being tied together due to a lack of knowledge.
Perhaps if there was a contrast involved, but still 2 months is far too long for it to last.
I've had four operations on both legs, 20~ scars and some metal to my name.
All the advice I can give is just take each day as it comes, and eventually things start working again And be glad you didn't have the morphine, that stuff is horrible. Made me feel so inhuman and gross, I refused it after the 2nd op, just took the pain instead.
On July 15 2012 01:58 Aerisky wrote: Fuck yeah, MightyAtom!
Wow, I didn't know CT scans could do that to you O_O I had one recently and it literally just felt like a normal X-ray (i.e. no feeling whatsoever) but longer. Awesome to see that you're back up and ready to kick ass. Man, your wife's cousin definitely knew what he was talking about in retrospect; it's really unfortunate that the language he was using didn't come across completely, instead of just as serious/rude talk.
Definitely rooting for you to overcome smoking as well. It's so shitty for your body, and stopping smoking will definitely be great for your health. So good to have you back; wish I could word this more effectively, but in essence, welcome back and go on hwaiting ^^ let us know if/when you're able to enjoy rubgy one more time.
It can't. This is a classic example of two independt incidents which happen by chance at the same time being tied together due to a lack of knowledge.
Perhaps if there was a contrast involved, but still 2 months is far too long for it to last.
Ah okay. Yeah, I knew something didn't quite sound right and was really confused+curious about that. Correlation, causation, and all that
MightyAtom deserves more well-wishes I think keke, he is everybody's big beasting hyung!
It's great to hear you're okay, Atom. I'm really glad you're pulling through this; realizing that you aren't Rambo after all can only be good for you in the long run. You can still be Wolverine, as long as you're not a "fucking cunt", y'know?
Best wishes all around, and I expect a battle report for your first game of rugby!
On July 15 2012 12:33 LosingID8 wrote: good to hear that you're doing well!
i'm personally interested in learning more about your operation. could you be a little more detailed with what exactly the surgery was and the complications? i'm studying to be a podiatrist so this is very interesting and relevant to me.
Ok, so for this type of injury, the actual fracture/hole was on the inside (left side) of my right ankle, normally they'd do an Arthroscopy, so I have a two holes on my ankle, I'd assume the one on the right side of the right ankle is where the scope went it.
But in the end, the ended up slicing it up for about 10 cm (I now have a picture!), so not as big as the 15cm I eariler reported as I got the scar re-dressed.
So background on it: I had a rugby career ending injury being brought down by 3 guys on me, twice, I had two guys, at least 200 pounds plus on my back dragging me down and another guy, plus 200 pounds, speared me below my knees, litterally tore my boot spikes from the ground, I did a 365 flip, was free, took 3 steps more and got brought down again by all 3. ended up with 2 hyper extended knees, and what the doctors thought at the time was a severe sprain.
Having played rugby at a competitive state level most of my life, I was fine with the pain, but at the time there was a minor fracture, but the x-rays couldn't pick it up because of where the fracture was, and I did go in once a year after that, but it wasn't until about 2 months before, suddenly the pain was so much I couldn't walk and whenever I recovered over 3 or 4 days, it would swell up and I'd be put to bed, but the pain was so much that over the counter pain medication couldn't put a dent into it. So I did an MIR and then it clearly showed that this was a degenerative condition as the hole shape was clear that it wasn't fractured/torn that way initially and it was about 2.5 cm in diameter. But there was significant scar tissue or lesions in the hole area as well and the sides of the hole were clearly edged enough to grind and bit into the other joint as well. And this has been a worsen condition for 6 years.
Also the other complication was that it was highly likely that gout was also interacting with the joint, so that plus the gout crystals and the worsen state of the ankle was making it just a bad situation over all. It was recommended I go into surgery immediate 3 days later, but I booked it for a month after some pending negotiations were completed.
So because of the size of the hole, grafting from my knee was an option on the table; but what ended up happening as I was told in my post op was: 1. They went in, expecting just to do an arthroscopy procedure and d the micro drilling. but 2 things were clear, that the scaring/lesions and the shape of my ankle due to the length and nature of the condition wasn't localized to just where the initial injury was. and that they were having a hard time actually manuvering between the joint itself.
2. In the end, they had to take out the scopes, slice it right open, then put in clamps to make space between my joints, but basically my joints due to my tendons were that tight together, the surgeon said it was the first time he saw someone with joints as tight as mine, but as an aside, when you play a contact sport for most of your life with my position as a front row, your bones and such are naturally denser (I'm a 4.1 bone density when 1 is the medium), so i don't think it would be uncommon with high level athletes in a similar high impact + strength role.
3. They ended up shaping the entire joint face, making it smooth and did the micro drilling, and in the end the 1 hour procedure ended up being 5 hours. But good fucking call on going completely under.
I can't bear weight on this ankle for at least 1.5 months to 3months, when I got my stitches cleaned yesterday, the ankle and foot was very swollen still after 6 days and i couldn't move the ankle whatsoever.
I hope that this was enough, 1. I've found that what the doctors thing is going on and what I think is going on is usually off by 20% lol, just cause as a rugby player I kinda thing everything is just an injury that will eventually sort itself out, so I'm not a doctor, so my descriptions might be a bit too simple or they made it simple for me.
2. if you have any other specific questions, let me know and I can ask my doctor then next time I see him, I'm sure I'm going to do another mri afterwards to see if the fibro cartelige actually came into place properly or isn't getting destroyed by me haha.
that is really awesome. thanks for the extra details. i'm in my 2nd year right now currently taking lower extremity anatomy and next semester i'm going to be taking pod surgery so this is really cool to see and learn about. kind of like a little preview of what is to come lol.
Thanks for that info as well, really interesting. The initial source of that injury just sounds absolutely brutal
For some reason, from the moment I heard you really enjoyed playing rugby, I was actually able to picture you in a Nike commercial or something playing and trashing plebs left and right, rugby definitely seems to suit you ^^
There is another minor set of set of stitches on the other side of the ankle, just like 3 stitches ^^ Enjoy! This was yesterday as I got the dressing changed and then they re set the ankle in a brace, once the stitches are off, then I'll get a plaster cast on for 2.5 months.
You play Rugby in Korea? Didn't know Korea was a rugby sort of place! Nice, im glad your able to play again. Also, damn Koreans smoke huh? 2 packs thats 40 smokes in just a conversation? im guessing 2-3hours tops? Wow thats crazy.
Good luck quitting smoking, it has to be done! Might be hard, but there's lots of stuff out there now that can be used to help you quit.
But on the story itself, health is crazily important, when i felt the way you did for a different reason, i to was not even able to muster the strength to get myself onto the computer and all i did was sleep, it's crazy how your health can hit you for six so much. I'm glad your experience didn't last to long as it can be frustrating, but i see you have such great fight that it will take alot to keep you down which is a fantastic assest to have and i salute you for that, truely are Mighty Atom! All i think about when stories like this come out is that of my Uncle's lung cancer where he went from being able to work and do jobs around the house, to barely being able to move and grip anything with his hands.
GL getting yourself back into shape for the rugby though! It is some good rehab you will need to get back onto the pitch!
Oh wow that picture, haha i can't say i can look at that without being a bit sick! Such a big stich.
Finally, got my stitches off, and the doctor was like you don't need a cast, here is an ankle brace, don't put any weight on it for 3 months if you can, after 3 months it will be 90% done, and after 6 months it should be 100% as it can be. So I'm going to go in 1 month later for a check up.
So I was going to fly out this morning at 8am, but I cancelled my flight cause my foot ballooned and swelled so much I couldn't feel my foot, I assume it is because it was no longer compressed as much, but I wasn't going to get on a plane with a swollen foot and get a blood clout, so today, Im just going to take it easy, play a bit of dota2, rest up so I can get on the flight for tomorrow. fml!
EPT
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