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[Girl blog] What does she want? - Page 2

Blogs > JellowLight
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Probe1
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States17920 Posts
June 04 2012 06:06 GMT
#21
Lord grant this man the power to just kiss a girl and stop talking about it. Just go for it and stop thinking about it.
우정호 KT_VIOLET 1988 - 2012 While we are postponing, life speeds by
r.Evo
Profile Joined August 2006
Germany14081 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-06-04 06:19:04
June 04 2012 06:14 GMT
#22
On June 04 2012 14:21 HawaiianPig wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 04 2012 08:15 r.Evo wrote:
On June 04 2012 06:22 HawaiianPig wrote:
I was in a similar position once. There's no magic to this; just go for it. Be explicit, and just tell her how you damned feel. Don't come up with some elaborate plan, don't try to think of some kind of "move". Just find a moment alone with each other and speak from the heart.


Horrible advice. Talking about feelings doesn't build attraction. A girl won't fall in love with you because you tell her how you feel and how much you adore her, a girl falls in love with you because she's attracted, feels a connection with you while you - phyiscally - escalate the situation and take responsibility for it. In this case they have a lot of connection/rapport/comfort, just no physical escalation at all.


This is stupid.

He's "not building attraction". This isn't some Pick Up Artist bullshit where you have to lie and put up a front to her to get her to fall for you. The two of them are beyond some vapid night-club style flirt.

There is no "move"

Whatever you do, OP, don't listen to this kind of bullshit.

You have feelings for her, she most likely has feelings for you too.

The two of you need to talk it out. There's nothing more to it. Find an opportunity and raise it with her. Be a damned adult and just talk to her.


"Hey, you. I know you gave me plenty of opportunities to make out with you and all, but I'm a huge pussy and in love with you for months. I barely even knew you but I always knew you're going to be the love of my life and the future mother of my children. Now that I have told you that can we make out and be a happy couple?"

I'm not suggesting to lie in any kind of way, I'm suggesting that he should do what a person who is not scared by random bullshit that has nothing to do with this girl would do: get physical. Talking about getting physical or intimate is a stupid idea. Might as well write her an essay explaining why they would be a wonderful couple.

The only reason "I want to talk about my feelings" is even an option in his brain is because someone told him that that's what girls expect from him. What about being a man, leading her to what she wants in the first place (that's the only reason she's still dating him) and taking responsibilty for it?


Edit: I guess my main point is not that the whole "I will confess my feelings to her!" won't work. I actually know cases where it did. However, simply assuming from her actions (as you correctly put) that she has feelings for him and acting on it is much more foolproof. Not to mention it might actually help him develop a character that actually puts action before words and therefor will gain confidence in the long run.
"We don't make mistakes here, we call it happy little accidents." ~Bob Ross
HawaiianPig
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
Canada5155 Posts
June 04 2012 06:22 GMT
#23
Getting physical is good advice. Saying he needs to be an idiot caveman and hide his feelings is stupid.

Here's your build order:

"Move" for getting with a girl who already pretty much likes you anyway

      9 "I still have feelings for you"

            If you scout that she reciprocates in any way

      10 *kiss*

      12 Talk about how you damned feel while kissing her

gg
AdministratorNot actually Hawaiian.
JellowLight
Profile Blog Joined October 2011
60 Posts
June 04 2012 06:24 GMT
#24
Ok, after a good night rest and all of your advice I have decided I should ask her on another date, only this time I will make it feel like a date. Just plan out a good night where we have plenty of time with each other and be a fucking men.
I'll see how it goes from there. I'll keep all your advice with me and see how I can use it.
If the date does not go as planned for any reason I can still use HawaiianPigs advice and tell her straight forward like a damned adult

I'll make an update on this when anything special happends and if its major enough for a new blog then I shall make one

Any extra advice is welcome, since I atleast got until next weekend before seeing her, if she has time.

BTW, does going to a nice restaurant, followed up by a movie at my (or maybe her) place sounds like a good idea? I know she will like the idea, but do I get enough opportunities?
Probe1
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States17920 Posts
June 04 2012 06:35 GMT
#25
Just fucking wing it. Say hey, you want to go to a movie? Ok cool 8pm sounds good. Oh, do you want to get dinner first?

You're putting like, I'm going to propose-level of planning into it. Ask her if she wants to; man up if she gives you indecision and pick what you want and then follow through with kissing.
우정호 KT_VIOLET 1988 - 2012 While we are postponing, life speeds by
r.Evo
Profile Joined August 2006
Germany14081 Posts
June 04 2012 07:27 GMT
#26
On June 04 2012 15:24 JellowLight wrote:
Ok, after a good night rest and all of your advice I have decided I should ask her on another date, only this time I will make it feel like a date. Just plan out a good night where we have plenty of time with each other and be a fucking men.
I'll see how it goes from there. I'll keep all your advice with me and see how I can use it.
If the date does not go as planned for any reason I can still use HawaiianPigs advice and tell her straight forward like a damned adult

I'll make an update on this when anything special happends and if its major enough for a new blog then I shall make one

Any extra advice is welcome, since I atleast got until next weekend before seeing her, if she has time.

BTW, does going to a nice restaurant, followed up by a movie at my (or maybe her) place sounds like a good idea? I know she will like the idea, but do I get enough opportunities?


Personally I'm not a big fan of movies unless you escalated well enough before that (aka, unless you can comfortable grab one of those 2 person seats and put your arm around her without it being awkward).

If you don't think you can manage to get that done before that cooking+watching movie from a sofa is awesome. Best piece of furniture ever invented. So innocent and yet so... rawr. =D ... (Make sure to not do any at home plans if parents are involved. It's summer. Might as well do a picknick or sit outside in the evening and drink something just because you can.)

Don't even THINK about opportunities. Watch how couples interact. Do they have to wait for perfect moments to touch each other? If you go in trying to figure out a perfect moment, you won't do shit again because there will never be one. Start with light shit like patting her on the head for a stupid comment (careful if she has some kind of hairstyle with lots of work), if she complains, you tease her with it. Box her for jokes. Be like "Awwww... poor thing!" and pat her knee. Pretend you're a cat and snuggle up to her. Tell her you want a divorce because she never does the dishes and your kids are total brats. Let her be the one who has to make up for it and promise to be a better girl from now on.

Endless possibilites. Be silly, don't excuse yourself for stuff if you tease her a bit, get physical whenever. Hell, just tapping her arm when you emphasize certain points helps. Gesture bigger, touch her while you gesture.



PS: Caveman mode ez #1 if you're still too scared. Get horny, get real. Your penis knows what to do, even if your brain doesn't. =P
"We don't make mistakes here, we call it happy little accidents." ~Bob Ross
FractalsOnFire
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Australia1756 Posts
June 04 2012 07:28 GMT
#27
Actions speak louder than words. Show her you like her, don`t just say it.
Marti
Profile Joined August 2011
552 Posts
June 04 2012 13:56 GMT
#28
Yeah go for it man. And if it doesn't work, duct tape is your friend !
#adun giveafuck - - - "Did this guy just randomly finger me?" - Sayle
B.I.G.
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
3251 Posts
June 04 2012 17:54 GMT
#29
I gotta side with r.Evo here. Talking about your feelings with a girl before anything even happened is so lame.. Unless you are convinced the girl will fall for the sensitive little dork routine then I'd say try being a man first. If you have build up some man cred THEN maybe you can use the talking about feelings approach. I think the OP has the right idea though.
HyperionDreamer
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
Canada1528 Posts
June 04 2012 19:33 GMT
#30
On June 05 2012 02:54 B.I.G. wrote:
I gotta side with r.Evo here. Talking about your feelings with a girl before anything even happened is so lame.. Unless you are convinced the girl will fall for the sensitive little dork routine then I'd say try being a man first. If you have build up some man cred THEN maybe you can use the talking about feelings approach. I think the OP has the right idea though.

My advice to the OP is to listen to nobody and do what he feels is right.

After all, he knows the girl a heck of a lot better than all of us internet-strangers do. My advice is just to be very intentional with your actions; know what you want out of the relationship, be it a one night passionate fling or long term love. And make sure you communicate that to her immediately, and take charge right after it to guide the relationship where you want it to go (eg. if you want to bang her and then end it, take her out to a nice dinner and suggest that you head back to your place for a night cap). Girls dig honesty and confidence more than anything else.
BW4life! Jaedong ~ Savior ~ Shine ; "drowning sorrows in late night infomercials" - bnYsooch
JellowLight
Profile Blog Joined October 2011
60 Posts
June 04 2012 20:23 GMT
#31
HyperionDreamer, the point of this blog was to get some advice, not to ignore everybody xD

Ofcourse, I will act the way I feel is right, but the advice that has been given was very usefull. I've considerd everyone's advice and just came to the conclusion that my original "plan", was the best one. Now, I just need to freaking DO it. And that's my problem, but I think I should be able to do that.

I can not pussy out anymore. That's not an option. Even when I cycle back to my house and I am not satisfied with what I did will freaking turn around But, I won't think that is nessacary.

The problem is that we are both in extremely busy weeks, because of the schoolyear ending. So let's hope, things don't get delayed to much, because I am bad at waiting once I set my mind on an idea :p
broz0rs
Profile Joined July 2008
United States2294 Posts
June 05 2012 00:00 GMT
#32
My friend you are just one step away from what you want. From my experience, I knew some girls who would say they want to just be friends, but when I took them out and did nice things for them, they became more receptive. If she rejects you after a move, you can just light heartedly apologize and most likely still remain your friend.

More importantly, stay true to your intention, don't be somebody's friend just because you want her to be close to you.
HyperionDreamer
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
Canada1528 Posts
June 05 2012 13:35 GMT
#33
On June 05 2012 05:23 JellowLight wrote:
HyperionDreamer, the point of this blog was to get some advice, not to ignore everybody xD

Ofcourse, I will act the way I feel is right, but the advice that has been given was very usefull. I've considerd everyone's advice and just came to the conclusion that my original "plan", was the best one. Now, I just need to freaking DO it. And that's my problem, but I think I should be able to do that.

I can not pussy out anymore. That's not an option. Even when I cycle back to my house and I am not satisfied with what I did will freaking turn around But, I won't think that is nessacary.

The problem is that we are both in extremely busy weeks, because of the schoolyear ending. So let's hope, things don't get delayed to much, because I am bad at waiting once I set my mind on an idea :p

What was your original plan again?
BW4life! Jaedong ~ Savior ~ Shine ; "drowning sorrows in late night infomercials" - bnYsooch
JellowLight
Profile Blog Joined October 2011
60 Posts
June 06 2012 21:59 GMT
#34
Small update for the people who are still interested.

I got invited for a small "party" at her place(~10 people), upcoming saturday. It will be like the 3th or 4th week that we see each other in the weekend so, that is a whole lot better then the start of this year I will most likely not get any private moment with her or anything, so I am just going to enjoy the evening and we'll see what comes from it. I won't be able to ask her out for this week cause of neither of us having time but I think that I can find an opportunity for the next weekend

@HyperionDreamer, well basically just get on a date, show her that I am interested in a different way and at the end of the night (or if we get a moment, which would make it easier ) just go in for a kiss. And then I will see what happends.
r.Evo
Profile Joined August 2006
Germany14081 Posts
June 07 2012 01:45 GMT
#35
A kiss should be the natural next step, not some kind of barrier.

If you're already in each others arms and biting each others necks the "real" kiss isn't much of a deal anymore.


Oh welp, gl and keep us posted.
"We don't make mistakes here, we call it happy little accidents." ~Bob Ross
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