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How to tell a girl that we're just friends?

Blogs > Loser777
Post a Reply
1 2 3 Next All
Loser777
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
1931 Posts
April 28 2012 08:31 GMT
#1
Before I go any further, I have to make the very embarrassing admission that this blog isn't about me or any girl I actually know per se, but I'm trying to help a friend out. Obviously my poor looks anti-female body armor would prevent such a situation from arising on my end.

Motivating Problem:
      So, my friend--let's call him "natural philosophy master," ("physics master") in short, has known said girl--let's call her "Paula," for a few months now. I know from physics master's ramblings that he was initially a classmate of Paula's and that they've spent a fair amount of time doing 'friend' activities--i.e. activities that in the wrong context may be construed as belonging to the 'date' category. Strictly speaking, these were limited to things such as eating dinner together consuming sustenance in the dining halls and touring the city walking together to various bus stops. Let me make it clear that he hasn't shown any signs of affection during these activities--I can confirm this to a limited extent through my observations of them together working on homework assignments.
      In fact, until recently, physics master was completely unaware of the situation until he was asked by said girl to a trip to a local amusement park. He was still even somewhat doubtful of the idea that she had feelings for him until I reinforced his own brewing suspicious.
      At this instant, he realized that he had a serious problem. Saying that she is not a vector in his subspace of compatible girlfriends is putting it lightly; even the projection of said vector in the subspace is the zero vector. Every physics master has boundary conditions.

Initial condition:
At time t=0, physics master will be at the amusement park with said girl. The function must be continuous on the entire interval of Saturday and must be well-behaved (he must avoid any ugly scenario as they will likely end up taking the bus together home). I can't apply any existence theorem here to guarantee that such a solution even exists, but that's where the infinite wisdom of TL comes into play.

TL DR; Find a build order that lets my friend get through a "date" while maintaining a safe rush distance. This will be a macro game.

**I apologize for making this blog unnecessarily vague; I only wish to protect the identities of all those involved

****
6581
Blazinghand *
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States25558 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-04-28 08:41:35
April 28 2012 08:37 GMT
#2
If you realize a girl's asking you on a date and you're not interested, you should say (BEFORE THE DATE) that you're only interested in her as a friend. 2 plausible responses:
1) she says "lol me too" and it's all good
2) she is like "aww man that sucks" but at least it's out in the open and you can deal with it.

The whole idea of going to the park on false pretenses is bad. He should talk to her beforehand and tell her firmly but kindly that he sees her only as a friend. If she's still down for going to the park then hey, go to the park. If not, you've each saved money since you don't have to buy amusement park tickets!

So yeah be honest and frank up front and it'll be all good.

I give it a 4/5-- good girl blog but not about you.
When you stare into the iCCup, the iCCup stares back.
TL+ Member
UniversalSnip
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
9871 Posts
April 28 2012 08:41 GMT
#3
I cannot provide any provable solution as I have worked on a similar problem with little success for some two years. Factual statements appear to be incompatible with the solution problem space.
"How fucking dare you defile the sanctity of DotA with your fucking casual plebian terminology? May the curse of Gaben and Volvo be upon you. le filthy casual."
Blazinghand *
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States25558 Posts
April 28 2012 08:42 GMT
#4
On April 28 2012 17:41 UniversalSnip wrote:
I cannot provide any provable solution as I have worked on a similar problem with little success for some two years. Factual statements appear to be incompatible with the solution problem space.


Yeah or you could just tell her you're not interested up front??? Honestly it will hurt her less to find out earlier... imagine if you were the one getting friendzoned-- better to know earlier right
When you stare into the iCCup, the iCCup stares back.
TL+ Member
Loser777
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
1931 Posts
April 28 2012 08:43 GMT
#5
On April 28 2012 17:37 Blazinghand wrote:
If you realize a girl's asking you on a date and you're not interested, you should say (BEFORE THE DATE) that you're only interested in her as a friend. 2 plausible responses:
1) she says "lol me too" and it's all good
2) she is like "aww man that sucks" but at least it's out in the open and you can deal with it.

The whole idea of going to the park on false pretenses is bad. He should talk to her beforehand and tell her firmly but kindly that he sees her only as a friend. If she's still down for going to the park then hey, go to the park. If not, you've each saved money since you don't have to buy amusement park tickets!

So yeah be honest and frank up front and it'll be all good.

Let me clarify that the initial conditions cannot be changed. Being the boneless wimp that he is, physics master has already bought tickets; so saving money is impossible and that he really has no way to avoid going to the park with her aside from the imaginary solution (ditching). However, he agrees that he should be at least be honest if she does anything to escalate the situation.

I guess another question is recognize at what time he should firmly tell her what he thinks.
6581
Blazinghand *
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States25558 Posts
April 28 2012 08:45 GMT
#6
On April 28 2012 17:43 Loser777 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 28 2012 17:37 Blazinghand wrote:
If you realize a girl's asking you on a date and you're not interested, you should say (BEFORE THE DATE) that you're only interested in her as a friend. 2 plausible responses:
1) she says "lol me too" and it's all good
2) she is like "aww man that sucks" but at least it's out in the open and you can deal with it.

The whole idea of going to the park on false pretenses is bad. He should talk to her beforehand and tell her firmly but kindly that he sees her only as a friend. If she's still down for going to the park then hey, go to the park. If not, you've each saved money since you don't have to buy amusement park tickets!

So yeah be honest and frank up front and it'll be all good.

Let me clarify that the initial conditions cannot be changed. Being the boneless wimp that he is, physics master has already bought tickets; so saving money is impossible and that he really has no way to avoid going to the park with her aside from the imaginary solution (ditching). However, he agrees that he should be at least be honest if she does anything to escalate the situation.

I guess another question is recognize at what time he should firmly tell her what he thinks.


How much time do we have to work with here? If they're going to the thing tomorrow then basically we're totes bonerized

BUT

if it's like next weekend, you should just talk to her now, and if she doesn't want to go to the amusement park, scalp the tickets

OR, EVEN BETTER,

If she's like "wahh ok if you dont' want to bone me, then we're not gonna be friends" then just ask out a hot babe and BAM HAVE AN ACTUAL DATE

oh shiiii
When you stare into the iCCup, the iCCup stares back.
TL+ Member
surfinbird1
Profile Joined September 2009
Germany999 Posts
April 28 2012 08:46 GMT
#7
This might actually be the first man in the history of mankind with this problem.
life of lively to live to life of full life thx to shield battery
Blazinghand *
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States25558 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-04-28 08:49:51
April 28 2012 08:49 GMT
#8
"but blazinghand how do I know your advice is good"

that is a good question, imaginary question asker. Please refer to this diagram:

[image loading]

as you can see, I have hella hot babes. people who follow my advice will end up like me. This irrefutable photographic proof proves it.

EDIT: as you can see i have mad dance moves also
When you stare into the iCCup, the iCCup stares back.
TL+ Member
Vod.kaholic
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States1052 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-04-28 08:50:22
April 28 2012 08:49 GMT
#9


Boy dont you know, take it slow
work it hard, take it far

BOy dont you know, take it slow
work it hard, take it fa-a-a-a-a-a-ar

Do the sweet talk

But really, just let her know what's up right away. Trying to weasel your way through it DURING the date simply can't end well.
._. \: |: /: .-. :\ :| :/ ._. They see me rolling...
Loser777
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
1931 Posts
April 28 2012 08:50 GMT
#10
On April 28 2012 17:45 Blazinghand wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 28 2012 17:43 Loser777 wrote:
On April 28 2012 17:37 Blazinghand wrote:
If you realize a girl's asking you on a date and you're not interested, you should say (BEFORE THE DATE) that you're only interested in her as a friend. 2 plausible responses:
1) she says "lol me too" and it's all good
2) she is like "aww man that sucks" but at least it's out in the open and you can deal with it.

The whole idea of going to the park on false pretenses is bad. He should talk to her beforehand and tell her firmly but kindly that he sees her only as a friend. If she's still down for going to the park then hey, go to the park. If not, you've each saved money since you don't have to buy amusement park tickets!

So yeah be honest and frank up front and it'll be all good.

Let me clarify that the initial conditions cannot be changed. Being the boneless wimp that he is, physics master has already bought tickets; so saving money is impossible and that he really has no way to avoid going to the park with her aside from the imaginary solution (ditching). However, he agrees that he should be at least be honest if she does anything to escalate the situation.

I guess another question is recognize at what time he should firmly tell her what he thinks.


How much time do we have to work with here? If they're going to the thing tomorrow then basically we're totes bonerized

BUT

if it's like next weekend, you should just talk to her now, and if she doesn't want to go to the amusement park, scalp the tickets

OR, EVEN BETTER,

If she's like "wahh ok if you dont' want to bone me, then we're not gonna be friends" then just ask out a hot babe and BAM HAVE AN ACTUAL DATE

oh shiiii

Unfortunately, it's Saturday as in today (it's past midnight here). If only physics master and I had come up with that solution earlier D:

On the bright side he's just told me that Paula bought her own ticket, so it's not a (total) loss. He doesn't think that she's a very aggressive girl; but this poses the problem that it'll be difficult to read her actions. He doesn't want to unnecessarily blurt out oh we're just friends if that's she's been thinking the whole time.
6581
Masq
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
Canada1792 Posts
April 28 2012 08:51 GMT
#11
switch your gameplan, a macro build won't work.

You need to go head first with a micro intensive build after scouting such an opener. I suggest a baneling bust.
Blazinghand *
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States25558 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-04-28 08:55:31
April 28 2012 08:53 GMT
#12
On April 28 2012 17:50 Loser777 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 28 2012 17:45 Blazinghand wrote:
On April 28 2012 17:43 Loser777 wrote:
On April 28 2012 17:37 Blazinghand wrote:
If you realize a girl's asking you on a date and you're not interested, you should say (BEFORE THE DATE) that you're only interested in her as a friend. 2 plausible responses:
1) she says "lol me too" and it's all good
2) she is like "aww man that sucks" but at least it's out in the open and you can deal with it.

The whole idea of going to the park on false pretenses is bad. He should talk to her beforehand and tell her firmly but kindly that he sees her only as a friend. If she's still down for going to the park then hey, go to the park. If not, you've each saved money since you don't have to buy amusement park tickets!

So yeah be honest and frank up front and it'll be all good.

Let me clarify that the initial conditions cannot be changed. Being the boneless wimp that he is, physics master has already bought tickets; so saving money is impossible and that he really has no way to avoid going to the park with her aside from the imaginary solution (ditching). However, he agrees that he should be at least be honest if she does anything to escalate the situation.

I guess another question is recognize at what time he should firmly tell her what he thinks.


How much time do we have to work with here? If they're going to the thing tomorrow then basically we're totes bonerized

BUT

if it's like next weekend, you should just talk to her now, and if she doesn't want to go to the amusement park, scalp the tickets

OR, EVEN BETTER,

If she's like "wahh ok if you dont' want to bone me, then we're not gonna be friends" then just ask out a hot babe and BAM HAVE AN ACTUAL DATE

oh shiiii

Unfortunately, it's Saturday as in today (it's past midnight here). If only physics master and I had come up with that solution earlier D:

On the bright side he's just told me that Paula bought her own ticket, so it's not a (total) loss. He doesn't think that she's a very aggressive girl; but this poses the problem that it'll be difficult to read her actions. He doesn't want to unnecessarily blurt out oh we're just friends if that's she's been thinking the whole time.


Oh man that's a real toughie. It's a same day deal, that ALSO gets rid of the possibility of you finding another date on short notice-- unless you got some serious mad skills and like pick up a chick past midnight OR early in the morning. And scalping a ticket on the same day is a huge pain ;_; unless you're willing to take a loss on the ticket of course, then you could dump it around 10-11 ish when the families show up.

So what you could do is, tell her in the morning, THEN if she gets all mad, offer to buy out her ticket and then go with a friend. amusement parks are pretty fun! Just make sure you do this before you get on the bus.

EDIT: alternatively, if you're interested in her you should have him bail and then just show up and be like "oh hey baby did you get stood up or what" and she's like "oh loser777 physics guy just stood me up on this date" and you're like "hey baby its okay you can go on a date with me, that guy gave me this ticket anyways" and she's like "oh you're so handsome and i'm so emotionally vulnerable!" and it'll be good
When you stare into the iCCup, the iCCup stares back.
TL+ Member
Djabanete
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
United States2786 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-04-28 09:06:14
April 28 2012 08:55 GMT
#13
"Hey Paula, it's natural philosophy master. Listen, there's something I wanted to ask you: the amusement park plan, did you mean that as a date? Because as much as I enjoy going out and doing fun stuff together, I also don't have romantic feelings for you, and I suddenly got worried that I might be giving you the wrong signals. I know this is unexpected, but we've been hanging out a lot one-on-one, and I just wanted us to be on the same page so neither of us is hurt or embarrassed later on."

Or something. Paula will probably get the point and answer the question before natural philosophy master needs to say all that. He just needs to open the topic.

Edit: Oh. He's got the ticket? Just go as friends and if it's awkward, suck it up.
May the BeSt man win.
Loser777
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
1931 Posts
April 28 2012 08:55 GMT
#14
On April 28 2012 17:51 Masq wrote:
switch your gameplan, a macro build won't work.

You need to go head first with a micro intensive build after scouting such an opener. I suggest a baneling bust.

Imagine that the game doesn't end when the opponent is defeated; instead, you're stuck in chat with her for the rest of the day.

On April 28 2012 17:46 surfinbird1 wrote:
This might actually be the first man in the history of mankind with this problem.

I think it's very likely that you don't find every girl in the universe attractive. This problem is just an instance where you're on a date with one element of the set of unattractive girls.
6581
Blazinghand *
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States25558 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-04-28 09:01:51
April 28 2012 09:00 GMT
#15
So in any case, Looser777, i think the best strategy here is for the friend to tell her straight up and for you to swoop and implement the strategy I outlined here:

On April 28 2012 17:53 Blazinghand wrote:
EDIT: alternatively, if you're interested in her you should have him bail and then just show up and be like "oh hey baby did you get stood up or what" and she's like "oh loser777 physics guy just stood me up on this date" and you're like "hey baby its okay you can go on a date with me, that guy gave me this ticket anyways" and she's like "oh you're so handsome and i'm so emotionally vulnerable!" and it'll be good


[image loading]

EDIT: Assuming of course you are single & interested
When you stare into the iCCup, the iCCup stares back.
TL+ Member
Loser777
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
1931 Posts
April 28 2012 09:05 GMT
#16
On April 28 2012 18:00 Blazinghand wrote:
So in any case, Looser777, i think the best strategy here is for the friend to tell her straight up and for you to swoop and implement the strategy I outlined here:

Show nested quote +
On April 28 2012 17:53 Blazinghand wrote:
EDIT: alternatively, if you're interested in her you should have him bail and then just show up and be like "oh hey baby did you get stood up or what" and she's like "oh loser777 physics guy just stood me up on this date" and you're like "hey baby its okay you can go on a date with me, that guy gave me this ticket anyways" and she's like "oh you're so handsome and i'm so emotionally vulnerable!" and it'll be good


[image loading]

EDIT: Assuming of course you are single & interested

Haha, no--ironically I have even higher standards than physics master does.

His main problem is that he doesn't want to be the bad guy. He's interested in another girl so he acknowledges that he needs to say this at some point and that the sooner the better.

She seems very excited to go on this trip. I'm telling him that he's actually being a bad guy by passively egging her on all this time.
6581
Djabanete
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
United States2786 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-04-28 09:08:31
April 28 2012 09:07 GMT
#17
On April 28 2012 18:05 Loser777 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 28 2012 18:00 Blazinghand wrote:
So in any case, Looser777, i think the best strategy here is for the friend to tell her straight up and for you to swoop and implement the strategy I outlined here:

On April 28 2012 17:53 Blazinghand wrote:
EDIT: alternatively, if you're interested in her you should have him bail and then just show up and be like "oh hey baby did you get stood up or what" and she's like "oh loser777 physics guy just stood me up on this date" and you're like "hey baby its okay you can go on a date with me, that guy gave me this ticket anyways" and she's like "oh you're so handsome and i'm so emotionally vulnerable!" and it'll be good


[image loading]

EDIT: Assuming of course you are single & interested

Haha, no--ironically I have even higher standards than physics master does.

His main problem is that he doesn't want to be the bad guy. He's interested in another girl so he acknowledges that he needs to say this at some point and that the sooner the better.

She seems very excited to go on this trip. I'm telling him that he's actually being a bad guy by passively egging her on all this time.

Make the fool talk to her already. If they're smart enough to do homework together then they're smart enough to figure out this stupid situation together once they both have the facts.

Edit: and Blazing's flowchart wins the thread.
May the BeSt man win.
Blazinghand *
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States25558 Posts
April 28 2012 09:08 GMT
#18
On April 28 2012 18:05 Loser777 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 28 2012 18:00 Blazinghand wrote:
So in any case, Looser777, i think the best strategy here is for the friend to tell her straight up and for you to swoop and implement the strategy I outlined here:

On April 28 2012 17:53 Blazinghand wrote:
EDIT: alternatively, if you're interested in her you should have him bail and then just show up and be like "oh hey baby did you get stood up or what" and she's like "oh loser777 physics guy just stood me up on this date" and you're like "hey baby its okay you can go on a date with me, that guy gave me this ticket anyways" and she's like "oh you're so handsome and i'm so emotionally vulnerable!" and it'll be good


[image loading]

EDIT: Assuming of course you are single & interested

Haha, no--ironically I have even higher standards than physics master does.

His main problem is that he doesn't want to be the bad guy. He's interested in another girl so he acknowledges that he needs to say this at some point and that the sooner the better.

She seems very excited to go on this trip. I'm telling him that he's actually being a bad guy by passively egging her on all this time.


Ah, well then that option is gone. I don't suppose the two of you have some other single, compatible friend to be a tissue box for her after the horrible potential letdown?

Regarding being a good guy: Oh yeah definitely. If he wants to be a good guy the best thing to do is tell her sooner. I'm sure he's been in the reverse situation, right? Better to know sooner rather than later.
When you stare into the iCCup, the iCCup stares back.
TL+ Member
Loser777
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
1931 Posts
April 28 2012 09:14 GMT
#19
I guess he understands what the consensus is at this point, but as with the protagonist of every other girl blog, he must realize that it is simply up to him to execute the delicately prepared build order.

I'll update with results as they happen.
6581
Lysenko
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Iceland2128 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-04-28 09:23:22
April 28 2012 09:22 GMT
#20
Let's postulate other girls B, C, D, and E, who each form basis vectors (when normalized) in said friend's subspace of girlfriend vectors. Friend can form a different cross product with each of B, C, D, and E, which should tell girl A (whose projection into friend's subspace is the zero vector) that her cross product is zero as well. And what girl wants a cross product that's zero in magnitude? Size isn't everything, but it's something...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lysenkoism
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