at age 14, just try - that's all you have to do.. and don't be clingy (the less you give her, the more she wants, the more you give her, the less she wants... even if she doesn't know it yet)

DemonDeacon

United States158 Posts

March 28 2012 17:45 GMT

#26

if someone is attracted to you they're not going to become un-attracted just because you're friends... i think the friend zone only really happens for girls who aren't interested in a relationship, they just want to hook up with random guys and then have a group of friends they hang out with all the time... someone who is looking for a relationship isn't going to not date you just because you're friends.. that doesn't really make much sense and if they are attracted to you then it just takes some convincing to get them to date you...

as for asking her out... you just need to be confident and act like its not a big deal-even if it is a huge deal in your head. just ask her straight up if she wants to go out and if she says no just remember its not the end of the world. don't freak out, just say ok that's cool let's just be friends then. girls respect that a lot more than you think; when you convey confidence it doesn't matter what the outcome is just save face so she doesn't tell all her friends how creepy you acted when she said no, she'll say he was actually really cool about it and you might have a chance to ask her out again later as you get to know each other better.

Nub4ever

Canada1981 Posts

March 28 2012 20:01 GMT

#27

On March 29 2012 00:04 OpticalShot wrote:

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You guys will only know when you get an office job...

Also, cake, is her name Cheryl? LOL

Lol, no. Cheryl's a friend but no its not her. How the hell do you even know that name o.o?

OpticalShot

Canada6330 Posts

March 28 2012 22:38 GMT

#28

On March 29 2012 05:01 Nub4ever wrote:

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Lol, no. Cheryl's a friend but no its not her. How the hell do you even know that name o.o?

Just looked up your wall on Facebook. =)
Okay GLHF

Bigtony

United States1606 Posts

March 29 2012 20:28 GMT

#29

On March 28 2012 22:24 JWD wrote:

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This is terrible advice. Trying out dating is the only way to figure out how to eventually stop making it a waste of time and energy. And dates are fun (even at 14)!

If I never went out with any girls at ages where my relationships consumed time, energy, and money, sometimes annoyed me, and exposed me to nonsensical problems and hormonal frustrations, I'd still not have been on a single date by now (at age 24).

This is great advice, from someone who works with kids every day and sees the stupid bullshit that "having a boyfriend/girlfriend" causes. The only upside/benefit to romantic relationships (at that age) is making out and sex, neither of which I think are good ideas (again, at that age). You can have tons of fun with a lot less stress as just friends. You can learn to be supportive as a friend. You can learn to put the needs of someone else in front of your own (a key part of being in a relationship) as just friends. You can learn to deal with someone elses mood swings as just friends. There's plenty of time to "learn how to have a relationship" when you are older and your brain/body is more mature. Hell, at that stage of most people's lives they don't even know how to be a good friend, let alone a serious boyfriend/girlfriend.

If he wants to go for it, I wish him the best of luck and good times, but if he's asking for advice (and he is) then my non-cynical yet totally honest advice is "just be friends, it's just as much fun with a lot less bullshit."

babylon

8765 Posts

March 29 2012 20:49 GMT

#30

On March 30 2012 05:28 Bigtony wrote:

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Oh god, this brings back memories ...

This one guy at my school asked out one of my friends. She said yes, but decided a few days later (less than a week!) that she didn't want to be in a relationship, and while she was breaking this news to him, he said he loved her and tried to guilt-trip her into not breaking up with him. It's like, wtf, you've talked to her for a few days and you already "love" her? Gimme a break! She was already suffering from major depression at the time too; let me tell you, this "break-up" didn't help one bit.

This other guy asked out another one of my friends for a couple months, but he'd gone out with another girl earlier who just wouldn't let go. Guy ended up cheating on her; he and the other girl went to a movie theater, and she gave him a blowjob there and told my friend about it later. (Other girl was kind of a bitch, can you tell?) My friend and the guy separated on bad terms. (Luckily, he was already graduating anyways, so it didn't matter regardless.)

I have like three or four more really dumb HS relationship stories, but guess I'll just stop there. It's really kind of a waste of time, IMO, and you can use your energy more productively (studying, sports, writing, reading, etc.). But good luck to OP anyways; just remember to have fun.

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