In my previous blogs, I discussed my descent to what I had imagined must have been the deepest depths of the North American ladder. The longer I played, though, the more I realized I was not being completely accurate. I have, it seems, barely scraped the surface of just one of the many hells encapsulated within the bronze league. Normally, I scoff when someone describes themselves as "high gold," or "high silver," thinking them braggarts who fancy themselves better than they really are, but I can't think of a better way to describe my own preeminent position within my league. I am, as much as it pains me to say it, "high bronze."
When I first began worker rushing and my MMR settled, I noticed I would play almost exclusively against bronze leaguers. Now, I'm facing a silver leaguer or above in about one of every four matches.
Welcome to bronze, bitches.
So what happened? I would not attribute it to any improvement in my worker rushing abilities. I've been using the same method since the beginning: Send workers and attack move. If they focus fire a single worker, I move it away, but I generally don't do anything more sophisticated than that. Hell, if I see them attack move, I immediately leave the game, so it's not like I'm somehow forcing victories through dexterous micromanagement where others would fail.
Why, then, has my MMR risen to the point where I am almost silver doing nothing but worker rushes? For that, I think we have the new ladder maps to blame. When I heard the news that Blizzard was removing close spawns, I was extremely pleased, which might sound odd coming from a worker rusher. Surely, I would want the spawns as close as possible, right? Well, while a close spawn is obviously preferable, and advantageous in any given game, knowing more precisely where my opponent's base may be located has turned out to lead to more overall victories. With the new map pool, after thumbing down three maps, four of the five remaining maps have either two, or functionally three spawning locations. So that means in almost every game I play, I can find my opponent's base with one or two guesses, effectively allowing me to win more games than when close spawns were included. Indeed, in the older pool, Shakuras Plateau was my winningest map, even with the close spawn potential of Shattered Temple still in effect.
"But wait," you might be thinking, "shouldn't you be losing? Aren't silver players better than bronze players?" As it turns out, no. No, they are not. So long as you show up reasonably early with your workers (made more likely by this season's changes), a silver or gold league player will shit his pants as readily as any bronzie. And then once I'm in their base I apparently have a 50% chance to win, as absurd as that statistic should be in any universe governed by a rational God. Removing close spawns and altering the map pool has streamlined the process of worker rushing considerably.
Another important factor is the ladder reset, which had a significantly different meaning to a worker rusher than it did to the serious players.
Workers of the world, unite!
Because with each passing season, fewer and fewer people play (if you believe some TL posters, I alone am responsible for driving away hundreds of bronze leaguers one worker rush at a time), and the leagues therefore shrink. So while in season three, my MMR was resting firmly in bronze territory, it has now evidently overlapped into silver as the bronze league has constricted slightly. The opponents should be the same, but the new leagues give a clear demarcation between bronze and silver, whereas before it was just a bunch of bronze and thus impossible to tell who was "high" and who was "low."
I have also arrived at this unique position at the top of the bronze league because of another aspect: I do not leave games needlessly. I do not leave games against Terran opponents, as some worker rushers do, and I do not leave games to lower my MMR before starting a session of portrait farming. So, unlike those worker rushers who dwell in what I imagine must truly be the bottom of the bronze league, I have floated to the top.
One final reason for my heightened MMR: I only play during peak hours. I have noticed that during off hours, such as when I would stay up late to watch the GSL, the opponents I would find on the ladder would have a dramatically lower chance of losing to a worker rush. I would get one win for every ten losses, and often, because of the reduced player pool, I would keep meeting the same players over and over again. Because I generally play video games at night, this had the effect of artificially tamping down my MMR every time a worker rush session dipped into the midnight hours. When, instead, I only played after schools let out and before 22:00, I could go on huge winning streaks, five or six games in a row, broken only by a single loss before another streak emerged. This is an effect I have noticed in other games as well, and I have deemed it the "Neckbeard Hypothesis." It states that:
Within a given region, after 22:00, the proportion of neckbeards online increases while the proportion of normal people simultaneously decreases, until the following day at 15:00, where the percentage of normal people once again overtakes the percentage of neckbeards. Because neckbeards on the whole are better at their chosen video game than the average person, this means that average player skill is highest during the periods of greatest neckbeard activity, and lowest during the periods of least neckbeard activity.
So, basically this means that if I time my play hours to right when schools are letting out, I can encounter the largest possible number of bad players while minimizing the number of good players I have to face. Since I must imagine that the ability to hold off a worker rush is closely linked with player skill, this method leads to the greatest number of wins per hour while minimizing time spent losing.
From my new vantage point upon the peaks of the bronze league, I shall continue my promised anthropological research into its inhabitants. I will take this opportunity to talk about some of the highest level bronze players, and their slight superiors in the leagues above.
While mid and low bronze are packed full of enragés, the upper echelon is full of what I have come to call the "incredulous."
As the name suggests, they are often a bit confused.
As one blog respondent explained it, there are people in the low bronze league who actually encounter nothing but worker rushes. At first, I noticed I would routinely match up against the same person twice, even three times in a row. Often, to my delight and their chagrin, I would successfully defeat them multiple times with the same rush. But as time passed, that phenomenon waned. My estimation is that if I started leaving games to lower my MMR, I would once again enter this domain of failure populated by only worker rushers and their victims.
Instead, trying to be as honest as a worker rushing portrait farmer can be, I've reached the point where there are so few of my kind that my opponents react with astonishment upon seeing me. It seems that you can either win a worker rush because your opponent is completely horrible, or because they are mostly horrible and simultaneously taken aback by sight of workers in their base.
Hey man, don't shoot the messenger. Or attack move his workers.
Because worker rushers rarely stray from the darkest recesses of bronze, when one shows his face in the light of silver, his opponents are bewildered and thrown off their guard, more confused than angry. How could this happen to them? They aren't one of those people, those noobs in the bronze league that everyone makes fun of, having to deal with worker rushes. They're silver! Honestly, that just doesn't happen in the silver league. They're better than that, aren't they? Surely! This is beneath them.
"Hmph. Your rush is dreadfully vulgar. My property value is lowered just hovering near you."
Often, they become a sort of high-class terrorist, indignantly refusing to accept their fate. This was not supposed to happen to them when they hit the "Find Match" button, and they're going to make their disdain known as only the upper crust can, snobbishly.
"Get to work you filthy fucking prole."
Ultimately, though, their heads are as easily severed as any pleb's, and they are defeated just as the kind they so desperately struggle not to be. Their ratings rise as they improve their other, non worker rush-related game mechanics, and they eventually make it out of the reach of my lowly bronze grasp. Occasionally, though, after they have a long losing streak we will meet again and I, a humble Cerberus, gatekeeper to the bronze, will defeat them and remind them how truly awful they actually are.
Not all members of the highest tier of bronze are so pretentious. A few brave amateur souls fancy themselves above their station, and have sought to raise their place within the ladder just a few rungs. They are fierce, dedicated, and above all, clueless. They are the tryhards. The wonderful irony behind the plight of the tryhard is that they don't have to try hard at all. The onus to try is mine; I'm the one executing a strategy that should never work. As I said, if I see someone attack moving their workers I immediately concede defeat and leave the game. So, the only way I can even identify my opponent as a tryhard is for them to be both incredibly bad and in possession of an extreme, if misguided, fighting spirit. Tryhards are a rare breed, for most people who truly have the desire to win will simply opt for the quicker route, i.e., figuring out how to beat a worker rush. Most of the people I encounter are, after I become acquainted with their particular brand of crazy, easily categorized. This guy's a rager, this guy's a whiner, this guy's a noob, and so on. Tryhards, on the other hand, are so rare that each one has his own unique flair, and the games they produce are incredibly memorable. I would be remiss, then, if I were not to take this opportunity to give some detailed accounts of a select few of these games.
The first match I would like to share is between myself and BusRider, clearly a fellow proud of his proletarian heritage. Let us see how he handles his own workers.
We spawn on Metalopolis, myself as the blue Terran to the north and he as the red Protoss to the south. As I begin my march toward the nearest spawn location, my opponent shares some kind words.
I think we know where this is going.
I, per usual, say nothing and check the first base. No luck. As I head toward the second base, a seventh SCV, newly trained, joins his friends en route to the Protoss base. BusRider sends out a scouting probe just in time to miss the train of SCVs entering his base. One enters a bit before the others, and he immediately sends a probe to attack it, perhaps fearing some sort of devious proxy barracks that I might plant within sight range of his nexus. That imaginary threat thwarted, however, he seems to miss the six more that trail in through the minerals and begin attacking his other probes. Two lose their shields immediately.
I'm pretty sure I didn't make 108 actions this entire game, let alone in this minute.
My opponent does something resembling an attack move, but it doesn't look quite right, so I stay in the game and we trade a few SCVs and probes. At this point, he has five probes, six including the one lucky enough to be sent out on a scouting mission, whereas I have only four SCVs, two of them heavily damaged. It looks like he's going to win, so I almost decide to leave the game when, for no apparent reason, my opponent decides to run away. I give chase and we reengage in the open field. After a bit of micromanagement, I am left with two nearly dead SCVs to one full health probe. Unfortunately for my opponent, he seemed to have forgotten he had a probe at all, and he lets it sit there while my pair of SCVs kill it without resistance.
So, satisfied with yet another victory, I take my two hero SCVs, nearly defeated and in critical condition, and begin the process of whittling down the nexus. For a moment, all is quiet, and then BusRider decides to reveal his tryhard nature to me.
We shall see who has the last laugh out loud.
Immediately I know what's to come. Though I haven't seen it, I know he must have a scout probe hidden somewhere. I check my workers' condition: 10 and 25 HP. I sigh, knowing that if he attacks the weak SCV he should be able to kill it, retreat, and regenerate his shields before going to work on the other one. The replay reveals he has his probe queued up to attack the weak SCV and things are looking quite grim. There isn't much I can do, but just to give myself the greatest possible chance of victory, I position my two workers next to a mineral patch. As soon as I see his probe come into my field of vision, I spam a few clicks on the minerals and then attack move the ground behind them. My SCVs immediately lash out against the invading probe. In a panic, my opponent lets his probe's orders fall off and instead of focusing the nearly dead SCV, he attack moves. Unfortunately for him, the AI chooses to attack the SCV with 25 health. With twice as much firepower, my workers manage to destroy his lone probe handily. My opponent is first confused…
I love it when a plan falls apart.
…and then furious.
Well, they do say that it's good to let it all out. I'm not quite sure what it is, though.
This next game I was pitted against a tryhard who tried so hard that I was forced to reciprocate. I have never had a worker rush that went this long and required me to exert this much effort. This game was the most incredible display I have yet witnessed in my roughly one thousand worker rushes. This mindblowing gem from the bronze league lasted an astounding 12 minutes and I produced only one worker. I think I displayed more APM in this single game than I have over the previous 100 combined. I have been including replay packs with each blog post not with the idea that anyone would actually watch them, but merely as proof that this shit is actually happening. In this case, however, you might actually want to take a look, because I don't know if even the best writers of the modern English language could fully capture how ludicrous this game was.
I meet my opponent, KnockedOut, on the Shattered Temple. We spawn in lateral cross positions, myself to the east as the blue Zerg and he to the west as the red Protoss. KnockedOut wishes me "glgl" and things began normally as I send my initial drones to check the close air spawn, followed by the far spawn. My drones run past his scouting probe, his first pylon, and then finally into his base as he, like the kid who has taken a karate class but has no idea how to actually fight, positions his probes in a ridiculous combat stance.
The fetal position is not an effective countermeasure to a worker rush.
He immediately loses a probe due to his bizarre posturing. Realizing his error, he attempts to pull back and take up the fight in more open ground. Because workers move at the same speed, a player can retreat at any time. So, in my games where my enemies do not simply roll over and die, I have come up with a technique to entice them to stay: I use a weak worker as sacrificial bait. If a bronzie spies a worker he can kill, he will often be more inclined to engage in a fight, even if it means charging headlong into awkward angles and causing him to lose three times as many probes as he manages to kill. This method works well on KnockedOut. I end up trading one drone for five probes, making the worker count six to five.
However, something dawns on my opponent—he has 100 minerals left in his coffers. Like most bronze leaguers, he has forgotten to macro during the battle.
I think this just about sums it up.
So, he queues up another couple of probes and once again the situation is looking quite grim for my prospects of winning. He refuses to fight while the other two probes come out. Often, when my bronze opponents manage to acquire enough minerals to produce a probe, they forget to change the rally point, so the worker pops out and immediately gets swarmed and killed. I would have no such luck this time. When his probes are complete, KnockedOut gathers his forces away from his nexus. Rather than give pointless chase, I decide to use another tactic to force my bronze opponent to fight me: I start nibbling his nexus to pieces, hoping to draw him back home and put an end to this. KnockedOut proves to be a craftier sort, though. He does something that I have never seen any other player attempt. His own mineral line suffering a drone infestation, he starts long distance mining.
Now generally, I worker rush while watching a progamer's stream. So at this point in the game, I'm listening to CatZ dulcetly sing along to a Spanish love ballad while probably planting a hatch in some Protoss's base. The first time I see probes return with minerals, I have not been paying enough attention to my own game and think it's just some antebellum remnants that he's just now decided to deposit at his nexus. As he franticly attempts to return the resources, I manage to surround a probe and kill it. Thinking he would leave again and distracted by the canción filtering through my headphones my attention drifts and he returns to quickly assassinate a drone. I mange to kill one of his in kind, though, and as the next one is about to die we engage in yet another high stakes game of tag.
Duck, duck, you're losing to a worker rush.
Finally, we both give up on the strenuous chase and fight again in the open. This engagement ends in a draw, as we lose two workers each, leaving us both with three. He returns to long distance mine and I go back to my nexus-nibbling. When he returns again, minerals in hand, the existence of his covert mining operation finally dawns on me, but with only three drones I can do little more to stop it than peck at his shields and hope he fucks something up. He successfully deposits his minerals to the nexus, now at half health, which brings him to 45 minerals. Things were looking even worse. I had only two things going for me: months of worker rushing experience, and the slight hull damage I had manage to do to some of his probes. His next trip brings him to 60 minerals, and he trains another probe. After it pops out, he is now again in the probe lead, four to three. But instead of finally ending this marathon of stupid, he decides to run his three workers around in circles while the newly trained fourth stands idle and does nothing. Finally, he manages to completely screw up and gets a probe stuck behind his pylon, which he had no business being behind anyway.
Maybe this is what they mean by "ineffective" APM.
We are now three to two. I micro my weakened drone around in frenzied circles. Annoyed by such work, I give up that tactic and instead attempt once again to use him as bait, but I end up losing the drone while the probe I intended to gank sneaks away with just one hit point. We are now even once again. I decide the best thing to do is to finally finish this damnable nexus while he goes back to gather some more minerals from his natural. He returns and realizes he won't be able to produce any more probes before his home explodes, so he attacks one of the drones gnawing on his base. He gets it to half health before the nexus falls, and then I severely fuck up. Rather than take a moment to regenerate health, I immediately counterattack and finish the probe whose hull has only one health left. However, this leaves me susceptible to losing my already weakened drone, which is precisely what happens.
I blame lag.
I know immediately the folly of my decision, but there is nothing I can do to stop what happens. In that split second I feel like time skips a beat, giving me just enough time to lament, why? Why, after a thousand worker rushes, would I fuck up something so elementary, so ordinary? How stupid could I be? I give the order to run, but the drone dies regardless. We are now tied, one worker apiece.
There is nothing but a pylon left for him, so naturally I attempt to start working on killing it. However, he constantly hounds my drone with his probe, each time pulling back before taking hull damage. The shields of the pylon regenerate too fast, and this tactic proves untenable, so I decide to withdraw back to my base. I should mention now that I am fighting not only his probe, but an invisible enemy: the draw timer. While a normal player might never encounter this mechanism, as a worker rusher I have seen it many times. After going a certain amount of time without producing or destroying a building, producing a unit or an upgrade, or harvesting gas or minerals, the game declares that in three minutes, should none of those occur, the match will be declared a draw. As you might imagine, I am often in situations where these things happen, or don't happen, as it were. Normally, I would just mine a mineral and reset the timer. In this case, however, I can't do that without risking drone death.
Upon arriving at my base, I find the probe still chasing me, as it obviously has nothing better to do. Then, I make yet another critical error. As CatZ continues to hum the tune of a Lonely Island song dully into my ears, my addled brain is telling me that a drone will beat a probe in a stand up fight, which is true, if you both attack move and watch. The done should regenerate enough health to narrowly win. However, my drone is still at half health from his unsuccessful stint as a pylon demolitionist. Dumbly, I decide to attack his probe anyway. Of course, KnockedOut, having absolutely nothing else to spend his APM on, simply micros it away when the shields wane. Now I have left myself in a terrible position. I have an eight health drone and a ticking clock. His shields are going to regenerate much faster than my health will, and he can just chase my drone forever or until the clock times out.
I make the judgment that I have only one chance to prevent a tie—I need to reset the fight. I need to run around until my drone returns to full health. Then, maybe I can make something happen. With the timer winding down, I plot out a wide course of circles for my drone to run as it regenerates. As KnockedOut simply watches as his probe gives chase, he says the thing I hate more than anything else.
Oh, it's on now, motherfucker.
An offensive GG. My resolve is now steeled. I will win this game. Furious, my APM shoots into the 200s as I micro in circles around one of the ornamental statues in the middle of the map. Finally, my drone reaches full health and I return him to my base. I position him adjacent to a mineral patch, drain my opponent's probe's shields, and right as he retreats to regenerate, I stealthily mine a few loads of minerals. The draw timer is reset with just 30 game seconds left. I breathe a sigh of relief.
When the probe reaches maximum shield capacity, he returns to harass my drone, but I rally him around the hatchery until he has once again regained his full amount of hit points. Healthy again, I drive off the probe and mine another load of minerals. Finally, after a couple such happenings, KnockedOut realizes the futility of this dance, and admits defeat. This time, unironically. I immediately and literally laugh out loud, the only possible reaction to such a silly game. I shake my head in happy disbelief and grin, for a new hero has emerged. I call him the "Stallone Drone."
The presence of the tryhards is at times vexing, but it adds another element to what would otherwise be a repetitive and humdrum activity. I can't help but wonder how the two skillsets of fierce competitiveness and utter cluelessness have collided to create these individuals, but I must admit they are amusing.
I was going to end this by saying that I'm running a bit dry on ideas, but the ladder always has something new in store. I do need to spend less time writing and more time worker rushing, though. Hopefully, when I return, my SCVs will have pandas painted on them.
Maybe you could share some experiences about worker rushing worker rushers in your next installment. Would be amusing for the workers to meet each other in the middle of the map.
An offensive GG. My resolve is now steeled. I will win this game. Furious, my APM shoots into the 200s as I micro in circles around one of the ornamental statues in the middle of the map
where do you live that you felt the earthquake? apparently it was felt all the way from Kansas City to Dallas. I'm in Norman and it shook our entire apartment complex for a good 20 seconds to the point where things were falling off the walls and tables. it even shattered some lightbulbs in the ceiling fixtures. it's pretty cute, Oklahoma kids can handle F5 tornadoes np, but as soon as a little quake hits everyone on campus is panicking and writing their wills
I once had a top diamond player worker rush me. At first I thought he was trying to demote himself, but after checking his match history I saw that he actually wins when he worker rushes on XelNaga Caverns. Anyways keep up with the blogs, very entertaining to read. Maybe you should consider submitting a few good ones to failcraft
On November 07 2011 08:38 PattyJ wrote: where do you live that you felt the earthquake? apparently it was felt all the way from Kansas City to Dallas. I'm in Norman and it shook our entire apartment complex for a good 20 seconds to the point where things were falling off the walls and tables. it even shattered some lightbulbs in the ceiling fixtures. it's pretty cute, Oklahoma kids can handle F5 tornadoes np, but as soon as a little quake hits everyone on campus is panicking and writing their wills
great blog too, very entertaining
I live outside of Tulsa. All it did was feel very strange and wobbly as I sat alone in the dark and pecked away at the keyboard before subsiding as quickly as it had come.
I can't help but wonder how the two skillsets of fierce competitiveness and utter cluelessness have collided to create these individuals, but I must admit they are amusing.
Ahahaha, fun read. Who knew worker rushes could be so intense The worker rushes I encounter are typically just people sacking their mmr and they are usually not very exciting since I have apm sufficient enough to deal with them ezpz ;-p
On November 07 2011 09:01 itkovian wrote: Ahahaha, fun read. Who knew worker rushes could be so intense The worker rushes I encounter are typically just people sacking their mmr and they are usually not very exciting since I have apm sufficient enough to deal with them ezpz ;-p
it requires 2 apm to beat a worker rush - box, a, click.
On November 07 2011 07:52 bkrow wrote: These blogs are constant entertainment.
Surely if they just A-move they'll have more workers by the time you arrive at their base?
edit: which race do you most prefer worker rushing with?
Both of these points are addressed in the nuts and bolts interlude:
Speaking of hit points, Terran are the best race to worker rush with, and the worst to worker rush. Even though they can't regenerate their HP, their 5 extra health makes them better in a stand up fight, which most worker rushes end on.
On November 07 2011 08:33 Childplay wrote: lol golden, although imo worker rushes arnt hard to hold off, then again, im in diamond
Not even thinly veiled brag. Just a straight up brag. "Hey, all you guys losing to worker rushes. I'm way better than you. I figured I'd post that in this blog here on teamliquid, that forum that you people in bronze probably don't read."
The only good thing is, when you'll finally have reached your desired portrait, you'll see that it doesn't matter at all, that it doesn't contribute to your enjoyment of this game. Maybe you'll even realize that you've been a dick to people for nothing and you find a hobby that does not include making other people have less fun in their free time. If not, you could find another way of being a dick. Have you thought about going to schools and punch little kids in the face? I mean, you're much stronger than those kids!
uhhh, your post doesn't make sense. You're just trying to get e-famous off of exploiting people not as good as you at a videogame.
First you say this,
So what happened? I would not attribute it to any improvement in my worker rushing abilities. I've been using the same method since the beginning: Send workers and attack move. If they focus fire a single worker, I move it away, but I generally don't do anything more sophisticated than that. Hell, if I see them attack move, I immediately leave the game, so it's not like I'm somehow forcing victories through dexterous micromanagement where others would fail.
Yet everything in all 4 of your posts suggest otherwise. That you actually do try, and you actually do your best to beat these "bads". I can't believe TL spotlights this garbage.
On November 07 2011 09:21 blackone wrote: The only good thing is, when you'll finally have reached your desired portrait, you'll see that it doesn't matter at all, that it doesn't contribute to your enjoyment of this game. Maybe you'll even realize that you've been a dick to people for nothing and you find a hobby that does not include making other people have less fun in their free time. If not, you could find another way of being a dick. Have you thought about going to schools and punch little kids in the face? I mean, you're much stronger than those kids!
But it does to him - hence his investment in obtaining it. What he's doing on its own isn't necessarily hilarious, but his write ups certainly are. As far as punching little kids in the face... if it was narrated in a similar manner I'd probably read about it too.
On November 07 2011 09:25 towers wrote: uhhh, your post doesn't make sense. You're just trying to get e-famous off of exploiting people not as good as you at a videogame.
So what happened? I would not attribute it to any improvement in my worker rushing abilities. I've been using the same method since the beginning: Send workers and attack move. If they focus fire a single worker, I move it away, but I generally don't do anything more sophisticated than that. Hell, if I see them attack move, I immediately leave the game, so it's not like I'm somehow forcing victories through dexterous micromanagement where others would fail.
Yet everything in all 4 of your posts suggest otherwise. That you actually do try, and you actually do your best to beat these "bads". I can't believe TL spotlights this garbage.
On November 07 2011 09:21 blackone wrote: The only good thing is, when you'll finally have reached your desired portrait, you'll see that it doesn't matter at all, that it doesn't contribute to your enjoyment of this game. Maybe you'll even realize that you've been a dick to people for nothing and you find a hobby that does not include making other people have less fun in their free time. If not, you could find another way of being a dick. Have you thought about going to schools and punch little kids in the face? I mean, you're much stronger than those kids!
But it does to him - hence his investment in obtaining it.
I have made the experience (with all those achievements in video games) that once you complete them, they don't mean shit to you because they don't really add to the game.
On November 07 2011 09:21 blackone wrote: The only good thing is, when you'll finally have reached your desired portrait, you'll see that it doesn't matter at all, that it doesn't contribute to your enjoyment of this game. Maybe you'll even realize that you've been a dick to people for nothing and you find a hobby that does not include making other people have less fun in their free time. If not, you could find another way of being a dick. Have you thought about going to schools and punch little kids in the face? I mean, you're much stronger than those kids!
But it does to him - hence his investment in obtaining it. What he's doing on its own isn't necessarily hilarious, but his write ups certainly are. As far as punching little kids in the face... if it was narrated in a similar manner I'd probably read about it too.
On November 07 2011 09:21 blackone wrote: The only good thing is, when you'll finally have reached your desired portrait, you'll see that it doesn't matter at all, that it doesn't contribute to your enjoyment of this game. Maybe you'll even realize that you've been a dick to people for nothing and you find a hobby that does not include making other people have less fun in their free time. If not, you could find another way of being a dick. Have you thought about going to schools and punch little kids in the face? I mean, you're much stronger than those kids!
But it does to him - hence his investment in obtaining it. What he's doing on its own isn't necessarily hilarious, but his write ups certainly are. As far as punching little kids in the face... if it was narrated in a similar manner I'd probably read about it too.
On November 07 2011 09:25 towers wrote: uhhh, your post doesn't make sense. You're just trying to get e-famous off of exploiting people not as good as you at a videogame.
First you say this,
So what happened? I would not attribute it to any improvement in my worker rushing abilities. I've been using the same method since the beginning: Send workers and attack move. If they focus fire a single worker, I move it away, but I generally don't do anything more sophisticated than that. Hell, if I see them attack move, I immediately leave the game, so it's not like I'm somehow forcing victories through dexterous micromanagement where others would fail.
Yet everything in all 4 of your posts suggest otherwise. That you actually do try, and you actually do your best to beat these "bads". I can't believe TL spotlights this garbage.
I think you don't know what he means.
Enlighten me.
He says he doesn't use mico to win his games, yet in just this post alone, both games required extensive micro.
On November 07 2011 09:25 towers wrote: uhhh, your post doesn't make sense. You're just trying to get e-famous off of exploiting people not as good as you at a videogame.
First you say this,
So what happened? I would not attribute it to any improvement in my worker rushing abilities. I've been using the same method since the beginning: Send workers and attack move. If they focus fire a single worker, I move it away, but I generally don't do anything more sophisticated than that. Hell, if I see them attack move, I immediately leave the game, so it's not like I'm somehow forcing victories through dexterous micromanagement where others would fail.
Yet everything in all 4 of your posts suggest otherwise. That you actually do try, and you actually do your best to beat these "bads". I can't believe TL spotlights this garbage.
I think you don't know what he means.
Enlighten me.
He says he doesn't use mico to win his games, yet in just this post alone, both games required extensive micro.
Next time I will include a replay pack of me leaving 100 games where my opponent attack moves to sate your curiosity.
Micro can't pull a victory out of thin air; my opponent has to first allow me to win. I'm not stealing wins from bronzies. They are giving me wins through their poor responses to what is the most easily defeated "strategy" in existence.
Once again, well written and hilarious! I was reading the description of that last game with fervor, wondering who would come out on top.
Many have already said that you have writing talent, but you counter this by saying that the Bronze league provides the stories... Which leaves for us to admire your dedication and eye for observation. Keep on writing!
Time to lose a hundred games or something until I reach the bottom of the ladder. Worker rushing seem way more fun and epic than any pro game I have ever seen haha ^^
On November 07 2011 07:52 bkrow wrote: These blogs are constant entertainment.
Surely if they just A-move they'll have more workers by the time you arrive at their base?
edit: which race do you most prefer worker rushing with?
I can answer this one for you, I managed to get to Gold before I even knew what A-Move was, I would just right click at the enemy and focus fire. Haven't lost to a worker rush since I worked that out, before that I was trying to micro my way out of it.
Can't believe some people are being so serious in this thread. Hilarious series that I would not have found if it weren't spotlighted. TL.net, why are you so awesome?
"As CatZ continues to hum the tune of a Lonely Island song dully into my ears, my addled brain is telling me that a done will beat a probe in a stand up fight, which is true, if you both attack move and watch. The done should regenerate enough health to narrowly win. However, my probe is still at half health from his unsuccessful stint as a pylon demolitionist."
I'm sure you meant to leave the "r" out in drone and refer to the Stallone Drone as "probe" to see if people are actually reading your blog. hehe ^_^
On November 07 2011 09:21 blackone wrote: The only good thing is, when you'll finally have reached your desired portrait, you'll see that it doesn't matter at all, that it doesn't contribute to your enjoyment of this game. Maybe you'll even realize that you've been a dick to people for nothing and you find a hobby that does not include making other people have less fun in their free time. If not, you could find another way of being a dick. Have you thought about going to schools and punch little kids in the face? I mean, you're much stronger than those kids!
But it does to him - hence his investment in obtaining it.
I have made the experience (with all those achievements in video games) that once you complete them, they don't mean shit to you because they don't really add to the game.
Thanks for your input, however it kind of seems like he enjoys it just as a thing to do. Also just because you've had a sertain experience from something you've done doesn't mean everyone else will feel the same. I for one hate the saw movies. They creep the fuck out of me. Yet other people seem to love them. In time you will realize that there are different people on this earth, and a lot of us have different preferences.
I remember when Huk was on TL_Attack (?) and he got double worker rushed and he held it off by himself 1v2. I wouldn't just quit if they a-move, I bet if you micro really well you still have a good chance, but you are the master
On one hand, I admire your approach to worker rushing.
I also appreciate the humor in your blogs, the reactions, your willingness to be as honest as possible in your pursuit, and you made me question if I would be wise enough to react to such an attack. And now I will be!
Honestly, however, any sort of non-standard play at low-level like this makes me wonder if it's better or worse for the community. And the idea that there are tons of people out there doing this, well, it does indeed bother me on some level. I want everyone to learn and grow and enjoy StarCraft for how awesome it is, and I wonder if people just portrait farming like this is counter-productive.
Ohhh my lord this blog was absolutly amazing. Made my day at word SO much better. You may have given me the motivation to log into NA and play some ladder games with the intention of trying to meet you in a game! Thank you very much sir i thouroughly enjoyed reading this.
Epic! You made me a drone rusher, dude ! Diamond yesterday, Gold today, Bronze tomorrow ! Only three wins for me so far, all against Platinum players (yes, Plat players can lose to worker rush ahah)
i don't know how to say this but once, just ONCE, PLEASE STREAM IT! make an announcement, make a show, get featured, and stream it. It would make the teamliquid implode and then respawn into a new era of starcraft. Just like the christians have BC and AD. we will have before WR and after.
excellent blog, i was laughing my various parts off at your incredibly entertaining games and your great ability to communicate these games to the reader in a humourous fashion.
On November 07 2011 22:42 esReveR wrote: This is funnier because I actually caught you on ladder as I was massing games for achievements recently. Glad I have good micro =P
On November 07 2011 08:33 Childplay wrote: lol golden, although imo worker rushes arnt hard to hold off, then again, im in diamond
Hahaha, that's part of the point when the OP talks about the silver leaguers. By not expecting it, it may provide the rusher with the advantage he needs. I'm Diamond as well and earlier today I lost to a six pool. I forgot when was the last time someone tried to 6pool me and my surprise was literally all my opponent needed (I have held 6pools countless times...back in gold). And yes, I was angry/confused/amused that one of the oldest rushes in the book had return from the depts of my ladder past to bite my current lack of practice against it :D
On November 07 2011 22:42 esReveR wrote: This is funnier because I actually caught you on ladder as I was massing games for achievements recently. Glad I have good micro =P
Nice brag post.
I just read every entry, this is such an funny blog. I'm intrigued now, how deep does the rabbit hole (bronze league) go? Surely there are players as unspeakably terrible in the depths of Bronze as there are players mindblowingly better than most others at the very top level. Who are these players? What sort of strategies do they do? Do they have crippling arthritis that leaves them incapable of macro or micro? Or are they just incapable of self improvement? And most importantly, why do they still play a game where even the Blizzard matchmaking system fails to keep them close to a 50% win rate?
Your anthropological study is intriguing, but by actually executing a worker rush you've put yourself out of reach of the true bottom of bronze.
On November 07 2011 19:24 Good1 wrote: Lol why is there "Пролетарии всех стран, соединяйтесь!" at the bottom of Season 4 ladder picture? Are you russian?
Eh, it was my attempt at a pun. The advert for season four said "Get ready for glory," which as a worker rusher made me think of a workers revolution or a communist revolution. I used the Russian translation of the Marx quote because I thought it might make the pun more clear, since to those of us raised on American action movies in lieu of a decent public education system think Russians are still commies.
Really, I just needed a picture to stick in the middle of those few paragraphs.
Had to go back and read all 3 parts (plus the special bonus interlude). Bravo. I love the paradoxical pairing of someone massing games with the worst, arguably easiest 'strategy' but relating their exploits for us to enjoy so proficiently. Hopefully the ladder experience stays fresh so we can get more tales from Bronze in the future.
The only thing I don't like about this experiment is when you try to convince your opponent to take his game back to the store. I think if they are so hopeless that they feel that way that you should point him to TL for tips or something. I really feel bad for those people.
I like this blog though. It's not so much an evolution of worker rushing, so much as it is an evolution of the human experience as you interact with degenerates on Battle.net 2.0. Very informative.
I honestly loved every single part of your in-depth and over-time analysis of the worker rush. I respect your commitment to research and if I had unlimited funds I'd pay you several dozen thousand dollars every year just to carry on this fantastic research. ILU
If you can build up this much hype for a game that involved nothing but workers fighting, I can't even imagine what kind of hype you could create doing a write up on actual games from MLG or GSL! I feel like TL needs to look into acquiring your services. I love it and I hope you keep going one of my favorite blogs on TL.
I just have watched some of your replays. That 2 hour game in which you built several mazes, a spore crawler carousel and the drone dancefloor was pretty hilarious. I also liked the "are you a nerd girl?" game. ("I'll report this! It's illegal! Protoss can build stuff faster than the others!" -- "I didn't build anything...")
First time I saw this I thought "hell no this is way to long to read" but after just finishing it I can say I am glad that I did. Hilarious. Great writing
I really tried to keep an open mind reading it but I just really don't get it, i'm not trying to hate (not that it would matter because OP clearly doesn't care) but as one of the few people who like to watch SC2 and follow a few players/some of the community but is reluctant to try 1v1 this puts me off the game quite alot.
It's not even about the OP, from what I see he is just a guy having fun (albeit at many other peoples expense) but what gets me quite worried is the community response. I know that SC2 has plenty of trolls/cheese but I always thought it was disliked by the communty, then I come across a thread like this that has 9 pages of people applauding OP and even a spotlight on the website generally considered the best SC community.
OP and everyone here knows that people will quit the game because of things like this though personally I think it it's not his fault if people don't like what he finds fun, but what I really find distasteful is that people seem to like this because of the effect it has on people, not in spite of it.
On November 08 2011 18:27 tsjb wrote: I really tried to keep an open mind reading it but I just really don't get it, i'm not trying to hate (not that it would matter because OP clearly doesn't care) but as one of the few people who like to watch SC2 and follow a few players/some of the community but is reluctant to try 1v1 this puts me off the game quite alot.
It's not even about the OP, from what I see he is just a guy having fun (albeit at many other peoples expense) but what gets me quite worried is the community response. I know that SC2 has plenty of trolls/cheese but I always thought it was disliked by the communty, then I come across a thread like this that has 9 pages of people applauding OP and even a spotlight on the website generally considered the best SC community.
OP and everyone here knows that people will quit the game because of things like this though personally I think it it's not his fault if people don't like what he finds fun, but what I really find distasteful is that people seem to like this because of the effect it has on people, not in spite of it.
My sypathy for what he does comes from two things: 1. He puts a lot of effort into his blog posts. They are an entertaining read really and so he does not only take (wins from low bronze players), but also gives back a lot. 2. He is not bragging about what he is doing and reflects on what he is doing.
P.S.: Does anyone remember Belan the Looter from UO? This kindof reminds me of her.
I loved this blog. Let me give you an idea. Let BusRider and KnockedOut know they´re famous now. They gave you wins, fun and fame, give some of it back to them.
Meh it was funny the first time, but getting old now :p. Like the effort you put into the post, but there's only so much entertainment you can draw from reading about bronze worker rushes.
These posts are pure joy. As a 'high bronze' myself I revel in what sometimes happens in my games; both my dumb ass moves and my opponents. I get worker rushed and 6pooled more that I would like to see but I rarely loose to them...anymore.
This post made me half want to go on a cheese bender.
I guess I have to start with the fact that nobody should ever lose to a worker rush. Ever. It's a simple mathematical issue. By the time I get to my opponent's base, I will always have less workers than them.
Clearly you're not good enough at worker rushing (see game versus White-Ra) and clearly it isn't just idiots who lose to it. I like this series of blogs, but it's obviously not as easy to defend as you make out
Clearly the thing OP is doing is different from the 12drone rush
If people quit due to getting worker rushed they probably weren't going to stick around very long anyway. Think of the OP as a litmus test to see if people are going to be long term players of the game
Didnt someone else do a worker rush in bronze thread. Although this is higher (slightly) level play, still funny. Apparently worker rush works in GM as well
Since several people have asked: I have 327 wins until pandas. Many more than that til the dark voice. I have already written the next blog, but am going to wait to post it until I've achieved pandas.
Inspired by your blog, a friend and I queued up in 2s and worker rushed. When we won, it was so worth the 2 other failed games. Screaming in skype, it was so worth it.
I never thought a blog about a guy who worker rushes would be so good. Really enjoyed the intense battle reports. And way to show that offensive gg'er!
Regarding moral grounds; I think losing on purpose to play bronze leaguers is wrong if you do it just for the lolz of an easy win. But if they lose to a worker rush, then they should just learn to beat a worker rush... Probably mean but w/e.
Just a tip, if you HOLD POSITION your weakened worker instead of retreating, it'll drop the aggression of the enemy worker so that the enemy worker focuses on another target (provided the opponent isn't actively targeting your worker). It's much more efficient than running your worker away, as you can hold position on a single worker that's weakened, then quickly select another target for that same worker! Good luck!
Tried this for a couple hours yesterday, was pretty entertaining. The bane of my existence are 4player maps without close spawns disabled. The wins are oh so sweet, though. For extra cheesiness, I usually ask them a question right as my workers are marching up their (possible) ramp.
I think my favorite part is when they pull all their workers and run around, intent on forcing a stalemate or making me chase them or something, but I'm playing Terran and I land my CC right in their main and start mining minerals instead.
Hah, I read all the parts; I'm happy some people can afford to resign from BM.
And once you left BM-ing, it's pure entertainment :-) Although I would be bored to death even playing below 10-worker rushes in a row, the pieces you present are usually very funny.
I just tried this (on bronze account)... it is WAY harder than I thought. To think you can, at times, achieve over 50% win rate is absolutely mind blowing. You have serious skillz.
On November 09 2011 21:51 Geo.Rion wrote: that' s really really disgusting. 1 star. Nicely done but still the essence of it is rotten
people like you make me open up everyone of the OP's blogs and 5star them
well go ahead, if you take away the fact that this blog looks nicely, it's about a guy who spends hours on pissing off people on the bnet with doing one allin every time, then makes a brag post about how successful he is at pissing off people and robbing ladder points. Somehow i dont see how's that praise worthy. I get if someone plays just for fun, i get if someone plays just to get better, but somehow i can't put this in neither of those categories, unless one finds joy in pissing random people off.
ps: I've never met this guy, at least i dont remember, but there are lots of people who always do the same stupid cheese over and over again and are high masters/GM, and believe me, once you play those kind of guys a few times, u dont have any sympathy for blogs like this.
I've skimmed a bit through this thread, and although it seems interesting how you present the Worker Rush tactic, I hate the cheese overall. Countless people have tried it against me, and failed. Therefore it is inferior. I am not even that good a player, so it obviously has to have a very low win rate against at least decently skilled players. A funny thing though is, I once got worker rushed by a player impersonating Dimaga, going by the account name of mTwDIMAGA on the European server. He is Masters, and it was just lol when I defended his push. But it was a custom game, so he was likely not that serious.
After reading your blog Worker Rush Part 1 though, I was very entertained by the way you presented games surrounding that mediocre strategy Well done, it happened to be a great read!
On November 11 2011 04:46 NeThZOR wrote: I've skimmed a bit through this thread, and although it seems interesting how you present the Worker Rush tactic, I hate the cheese overall. Countless people have tried it against me, and failed. Therefore it is inferior. I am not even that good a player, so it obviously has to have a very low win rate against at least decently skilled players. A funny thing though is, I once got worker rushed by a player impersonating Dimaga, going by the account name of mTwDIMAGA on the European server. He is Masters, and it was just lol when I defended his push. But it was a custom game, so he was likely not that serious.
Posts like this make me LOL because you know they haven't read the whole thing.
Now that the contempt for Bronze players is gone, these entries are much better.
Protip: The reason why an inexperienced player shits his pants when he's worker-rushed (I did when I was first worker-rushed), is because everything in the game, implicit in every part, is the idea that you collect resources to increase your supply and make an army. Fighters fight, suppliers supply, workers work.
Sure, they do token damage, but until you see it happen, the idea of using workers as your main and only unit is completely counterintuitive, like sending pickup trucks to a tank battle.
This blog is the most unexpectedly brilliant thing I've ever seen; It masquerades in the guise of a video game ladder adventure diary but unveils very interesting truths about human nature.
On November 12 2011 00:59 salvagebar wrote: Now that the contempt for Bronze players is gone, these entries are much better.
Protip: The reason why an inexperienced player shits his pants when he's worker-rushed (I did when I was first worker-rushed), is because everything in the game, implicit in every part, is the idea that you collect resources to increase your supply and make an army. Fighters fight, suppliers supply, workers work.
Sure, they do token damage, but until you see it happen, the idea of using workers as your main and only unit is completely counterintuitive, like sending pickup trucks to a tank battle.
How can you shit pants when you see workers? It's not like you are "OMG He has workers out already? I don't even have detection or anti-air omg omg...". Once you see your opponent attack with workers I don't think you need to be a strategic genius to come up with "What if I could use my WORKERS to defend against his WORKERS, it sounds crazy but him having to send the workers all over the map might even give me a slight home field advantage.."
On November 12 2011 00:59 salvagebar wrote: Now that the contempt for Bronze players is gone, these entries are much better.
Protip: The reason why an inexperienced player shits his pants when he's worker-rushed (I did when I was first worker-rushed), is because everything in the game, implicit in every part, is the idea that you collect resources to increase your supply and make an army. Fighters fight, suppliers supply, workers work.
Sure, they do token damage, but until you see it happen, the idea of using workers as your main and only unit is completely counterintuitive, like sending pickup trucks to a tank battle.
How can you shit pants when you see workers? It's not like you are "OMG He has workers out already? I don't even have detection or anti-air omg omg...". Once you see your opponent attack with workers I don't think you need to be a strategic genius to come up with "What if I could use my WORKERS to defend against his WORKERS, it sounds crazy but him having to send the workers all over the map might even give me a slight home field advantage.."
It is one of those things that, in retrospect, seems obvious. In the moment when it first happens to an inexperienced player, who is barely used to the rhythm of the game? Hearing "YOUR PROBES ARE BEING ATTACKED!" is confusing. I haven't met anyone who keeps dying to this over and over. Today, I know to box, a-move, keep making SCV's, and I'll come out ahead a couple of workers.
On November 12 2011 00:59 salvagebar wrote: Now that the contempt for Bronze players is gone, these entries are much better.
Protip: The reason why an inexperienced player shits his pants when he's worker-rushed (I did when I was first worker-rushed), is because everything in the game, implicit in every part, is the idea that you collect resources to increase your supply and make an army. Fighters fight, suppliers supply, workers work.
Sure, they do token damage, but until you see it happen, the idea of using workers as your main and only unit is completely counterintuitive, like sending pickup trucks to a tank battle.
How can you shit pants when you see workers? It's not like you are "OMG He has workers out already? I don't even have detection or anti-air omg omg...". Once you see your opponent attack with workers I don't think you need to be a strategic genius to come up with "What if I could use my WORKERS to defend against his WORKERS, it sounds crazy but him having to send the workers all over the map might even give me a slight home field advantage.."
It is one of those things that, in retrospect, seems obvious. In the moment when it first happens to an inexperienced player, who is barely used to the rhythm of the game? Hearing "YOUR PROBES ARE BEING ATTACKED!" is confusing. I haven't met anyone who keeps dying to this over and over. Today, I know to box, a-move, keep making SCV's, and I'll come out ahead a couple of workers.
My point was actually that you exactly do not need any retrospective look on the situation. It's not like it's a highly complex and elaborate rush. workers on workers. By doing this rush you opponent is actually explicitly showing that workers can be used to attack :>
You have truly inspired me, ive run through 80 games now, and after i was lowered to mid silver, i finally started to win, i think currently i have a win percent on about 40 or, so this means i will have to delve deeper into the pits of bronze. I must say i have never heard so much rage and at the same time, so much laughter at the same time
After reading this, I did the 11/10 drone rush and won 6 games in a row with a bronze account. One of them was very sincere, stating that it was his first multiplayer match and asking how to defend against it. I felt so bad LOL.
This was a hilarious read. I actually got worker ruhed yesterday and was shocked because I'm currently in 1st place of my gold league playing against platinum opponents. I remember my dark days as a bronzie loosing to worker rushes and wanting to smash my keyboard. Still probably the most frustrating way I've lost games.
A few weeks ago my Bronze girlfriend was the unfortunate victim of a worker rush. Immediately I asked her "Was the player called Gheed"? Turns out no, it was a higher-level troll. Remembering your posts, I told her to simply A-move her workers. She was not confident, so that night we played a few customs where I worker rushed. I played a game with every race and she held it off every time. Sure, she was upset after losing, but she never lost to it again!
Turns out my training against worker rushes is not finished. I was playing a 4v4 this weekend with my girlfriend and two younger brothers. A zerg foe opened the game by saying he would worker rush one of us. Immediately I told them all to a-move their workers over skype. A minute later 12 drones made their way up my brother's ramp. My build stopped as I started yelling "A-MOVE YOUR PROBES" over and over. He started by acting like a "tryhard" and do fancy micro and stacking. Finally he listened, A-moved, and won the battle with 5 probes left over. Our unsuccessful foe left the game saying he was going to uninstall. The team pooled some resources to help rebuild the probe line and the rest of our opponents BM'd their partner for the next 30 seconds.
Not only were these blog posts ridiculously entertaining, they inspired me to purchase a second copy of Starcraft to embark on the same journey. While I haven't worker rushed nearly as much as Gheed, I can say the following: I went through all of the same stages. Amusement, playful bad manner, hate, amusement, and more hate. Eventually after about a hundred or so of these rushes I was still surprised that I ever won. It is also surprising how many other worker rushers you meet, often in the middle of the map.
I decided to abandon worker rushing after a short while, because I'm just too mature for that ;-). I started raising the mmr on my worker rush account by executing various one base all ins. But there was always a nagging urge to worker rush. As it turns out I found that you can even win some games with platinum mmr by worker rushing.
This may seem surprising, but I guess it doesn't matter how good you are if you shit your pants as Gheed says.
EPT![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/HQrWn.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/bH1XX.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/bI5bv.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/Nd4ay.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/LYCmh.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/MWsis.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/EXUMV.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/YQcjC.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/JnAPe.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/N6VYy.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/FHTyJ.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/KS5Xq.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/1yZ1A.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/OUqWm.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/Z2SQL.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/EJSa8.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/OvcbL.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/LLAyX.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/855/workerrushrage.jpg/)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/DWOrT.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/1DFZ0.jpg)
