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Hello all, and welcome to my first blog ever on TL!
I've just turned 17, and without a father figure in my life I figured a lot of people here on TL would have good advice on some of my following questions with regard to moving on from adolexcence into adulthood. Hope ya'll can help me in some way <3
First off, a question on girls. No, not a girl blog, but a serious question. As a child growing up, I have been going to boys only schools for my whole educational life. The only time I ever meet girls is during my other sporting commitments such as tennis and taekwondo. I would be able to instantly name about 30-40 guys who I am quite friendly with off the top of my head, while I only really know 10 girls semi well, and only two are really good friends of mine. My question is, will my lack of interactions and experience with people of the opposite sex impede me at all through the rest of my life? Is it really a big deal that I don't know THAT many girls at this points in time? And if not, what could I perhaps do to start to work on this?
As a child in a single parent family, I am happy to say that my mum has provided me with almost everything I could need throughout my childhood til now, and I generally don't even notice the lack of a father. During some times such as when I was reaching puberty and now, however, I really wish there was someone I could talk to about this, and I was wondering - is it weird for me to talk about these sorts of things to another male adult who I can trust, such as an uncle or really good friend?
The last rally major issue is that now that I am growing up, there is an awkward stage in my life where my mum and I have not really figured out where we both stand. What I mean is that she sometimes treats me younger than I am and imposes some harsh restrictions, and then at others gives me full privilege and respnsibility for things which I perhaps would not be the best candidate for. Do and of you have advice for how to sort and deal with these things, or are they jsut natural pieces of my life which will fall in place eventually?
Finally, on a less major issue, I have played Starcraft since I was a kid, and played Zerg in SC2 when it came out. Problem is, Zerg in SC2 feel much more like a step back rather than a step forward, especially when I see small numbers of marines decimating Zerglings which once would have stomped through them in a straight up fight, and the lack of Lurkers and Mutas feeling much weaker thee day. Would it be worth switching to terran simply because they seem to be the most interesting and rewarding race to ply at this point in time?
anyway, I hope the great people of TL can help me with some of my bigger as well as the less major issues out there.
Cheers, Erronea
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If you leave high school and go to college the stuff what you're talking about tends to work itself out. When you have to fend for your its kind of a sink or swim approach, you'll have some (hilarious) failures in college but by the end of it you'll be fine.
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My best advice would be to hang around here without getting banned. ^^ Sometimes you have to focus on securing yourself the opportunity for improvement in the future, instead of directly going for those improvements right away.
For now I'll keep it short, I suddenly turned an adult in the past 4 months when I 1) graduated from university 2) got a job 3) bought my own car. It's a mixed feeling, sometimes I feel like a fucking boss and other times I'm sad that my "carefree" years are behind me. I guess what you can take from this is that changes in life are inevitable, and you should just be open to your road ahead.
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To me this sort of screams "I don't want to take responsibility", and really I wouldn't trust most of the people on TL for life advice, to put it frankly.
Things like "I don't know many girls, will this impede me later in life?" If you boil it all down to probabilities, you probably will find that guys who go to an all-guys school struggle in their relationships with females one way or another. But, it's up to you if you become one of those statistics or not. You are asking about how to change things, which is good, but really, we can all find excuses for why bad things happen to us in our lives, if we choose to think like that. And the more we think like that, the more those bad things happen because we haven't figured out the real causes.
I speak from a position of priviledge I guess, having a two-parent family, but again, while it may be statistically more likely that people from single-parent families will struggle, there's nothing saying that you have to be one of them.
A perhaps good analogy can come from starcraft. Let's say you start a drone down in an important game. Do you go into that game thinking you'll lose because you have a serious disadvantage, playing standard and just getting overrun by a superior economy? Looking back after the game and going "yeah well, I had one less drone!" Or do you try to find out a strat that will be least impacted by this disadvantage? Maybe you have to take a bigger risk than usual, maybe you have to go for ridiculous cheese - whatever it is.
And I don't think going to an all-boys school or growing up in a single parent family necessarily means you're "a drone down". Life and social interaction is sufficiently complex that any of us can look back in our past and point at things that disadvantaged us. Some might have more than others, but then - by what metric? Take these aspects of your life, find the positives in them, and own them.
I think at the end of the day, don't overthink things. Who cares how many male friends or female friends you have - and if it's a big deal to you, decide what kind of ratio you'd prefer that to be and work towards it! Really though, comparing numbers like this won't help towards getting a girlfriend anyway, which is where I assume that train of thought might be approaching. Some guys will have one female friend in the world, their partner, and others will have a ton... that's not the important part.
Same with your mum. Don't give all the responsibility to her, she's still a human and makes mistakes. She probably has given you too much responsibility some times, and not enough others. Don't just put the focus there, though. If she's giving you "too much" responsibility some times, then what that really means is that you weren't equipped to deal with the demands that ended up placed on you - it might be her duty to try to stop that from happening, but you can also work yourself to better equip yourself for the future. And the more "equipment" you show, the more likely you are to get given more responsibility in future and not treated like a child. And yes, that will probably work itself out as time goes on. Looking back, I know I did some retarded things as a teen and felt like my parents didn't really get me. It gets better.
Good luck 
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1) Well, there are the basics, such as how to talk to a girl without getting really nervous and saying stupid things, how to ask a girl out, etc. For the basics, doesn't really matter when you learn this stuff. For the advanced stuff, it isn't really about knowing how to deal with women, it's about knowing yourself. What kind of woman are you attracted to? What kind of relationship do you want? How do you act in a relationship? How are you going to decide when a relationship is not working out? Everyone has different answers for these questions, and I would guess that most people your age haven't worked out their answers yet. So you aren't behind at all.
+ Show Spoiler +
When you're in high school, it seems like relationships are competitive. You're competing with other men for the most attractive women. Hence you need to build up your skills. While that's true to some extent, relationships are also co-operative: women want all the things men want (perhaps with different emphasis, but then again different men want different things as well). So "girl skills" aren't really as important as they may seem.
2) Not weird. Well, it might be weird if you meet somebody and immediately start asking them questions. But somebody you've known for a long time will probably be flattered if you want to ask them for advice.
3) Normal for your age. Actually, this never really ends. But the big changes happen from 16-25. Just have to weather the storm.
4) No race switching, man. Your an adult now, time to take some responsibility. 
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Osaka27178 Posts
On September 30 2011 14:35 Turbovolver wrote:
To me this sort of screams "I don't want to take responsibility", and really I wouldn't trust most of the people on TL for life advice, to put it frankly.
Boo. TL consists of hundreds of talented and successful regular visitors that can give insight into situations based on their own experiences. Your image of TL as a buch of drooling nerds isn't what TL really is.
For the OP, some thoughts:
- Always play Terran. It is the best race.
- Your opportunities with women will change as your situation changes. If you are 17 then you have been in the high school environment for years. Once you leave that environment, you will have many more opportunities if you wish. If you have two good female friends, don't worry about it. If they are inflatable... maybe look into that.
- I think you can often talk to good friends or uncles better than you can fathers. You have no choice in blood relationships, but you can choose your friends. Choose friends you can speak to.
- Talk to you mom about your relationship, and how it is changing as you grow older. Again though, unless your situation changes, why should the relationship? Maybe there is something you can do, or some responsibilities you can accept, to help your mom now that you are older. By doing so, you would change the dynamic of your relationship and be able to talk/negotiate about other things such as your restrictions.
edit - I'm also convinced there is no "reaching adulthood". There is just an ongoing evolution of awareness. Was I an adult last year? Sure, but I look back on some things from last year and I say "how fucking childish was that".
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Use condoms NO MATTER WHAT SHE SAYS, never go down on girls and girls poop too.
+ Show Spoiler +If only I knew this at 17.
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On September 30 2011 13:56 Erronea wrote:+ Show Spoiler +
Hello all, and welcome to my first blog ever on TL!
I've just turned 17, and without a father figure in my life I figured a lot of people here on TL would have good advice on some of my following questions with regard to moving on from adolexcence into adulthood. Hope ya'll can help me in some way <3
First off, a question on girls. No, not a girl blog, but a serious question. As a child growing up, I have been going to boys only schools for my whole educational life. The only time I ever meet girls is during my other sporting commitments such as tennis and taekwondo. I would be able to instantly name about 30-40 guys who I am quite friendly with off the top of my head, while I only really know 10 girls semi well, and only two are really good friends of mine. My question is, will my lack of interactions and experience with people of the opposite sex impede me at all through the rest of my life? Is it really a big deal that I don't know THAT many girls at this points in time? And if not, what could I perhaps do to start to work on this? + Show Spoiler +
As a child in a single parent family, I am happy to say that my mum has provided me with almost everything I could need throughout my childhood til now, and I generally don't even notice the lack of a father. During some times such as when I was reaching puberty and now, however, I really wish there was someone I could talk to about this, and I was wondering - is it weird for me to talk about these sorts of things to another male adult who I can trust, such as an uncle or really good friend?
The last rally major issue is that now that I am growing up, there is an awkward stage in my life where my mum and I have not really figured out where we both stand. What I mean is that she sometimes treats me younger than I am and imposes some harsh restrictions, and then at others gives me full privilege and respnsibility for things which I perhaps would not be the best candidate for. Do and of you have advice for how to sort and deal with these things, or are they jsut natural pieces of my life which will fall in place eventually?
Finally, on a less major issue, I have played Starcraft since I was a kid, and played Zerg in SC2 when it came out. Problem is, Zerg in SC2 feel much more like a step back rather than a step forward, especially when I see small numbers of marines decimating Zerglings which once would have stomped through them in a straight up fight, and the lack of Lurkers and Mutas feeling much weaker thee day. Would it be worth switching to terran simply because they seem to be the most interesting and rewarding race to ply at this point in time?
anyway, I hope the great people of TL can help me with some of my bigger as well as the less major issues out there.
Cheers, Erronea
Welcome 
I'm gonna focus on this because it is a lesson that applies to everything. There are very few things that will permanently impede you for the rest of your life. Apart from your basic biology (eg it is highly doubtful you will ever fall pregnant), you can change pretty much anything.
For me, being an adult is simply accepting responsibility for the situation you are in and doing what you feel is best. If you have a problem with meeting girls, find somewhere where the ratio is good and throw yourself in the deep end. Hell I took up salsa classes, found a girl and have been living with her ever since. If you don't like something, change it.
I gotta agree with Mani (aside from the Terran thing, imbalanced bastards), adulthood is nothing special. Adults are just people doing the best with what they have, they are just a little better at pretending to know what is going on.
Edit:
On September 30 2011 14:50 Adam.Ioba wrote:Use condoms NO MATTER WHAT SHE SAYS, never go down on girls and girls poop too. + Show Spoiler +If only I knew this at 17.
What is it with you and sex? That is the third post of yours that brings sex into threads that haven't exactly brought it up before. It is just weird. That aside, condoms are the go! Always have one ready when there is a chance of nooky.
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On September 30 2011 14:50 Adam.Ioba wrote:Use condoms NO MATTER WHAT SHE SAYS, never go down on girls and girls poop too. + Show Spoiler +If only I knew this at 17.
I get the feeling that you're not even 17 let alone older.
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thedeadhaji
39489 Posts
On September 30 2011 14:50 Adam.Ioba wrote:
Use condoms NO MATTER WHAT SHE SAYS
gotta quote
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Haha, thanks for all the responses so far, they've really put things into a bit more perspective for me. I DO believe in TLers being able to give good advice, and let's be honest mate - most of the ones giving bad advice are easy to spot. With that said, *almost* everyone has given food for thought, though I guess the point on condoms could be useful... if that was what I wanted to know 
Lastly,
On September 30 2011 14:35 Turbovolver wrote:
A perhaps good analogy can come from starcraft. Let's say you start a drone down in an important game. Do you go into that game thinking you'll lose because you have a serious disadvantage, playing standard and just getting overrun by a superior economy? Looking back after the game and going "yeah well, I had one less drone!" Or do you try to find out a strat that will be least impacted by this disadvantage? Maybe you have to take a bigger risk than usual, maybe you have to go for ridiculous cheese - whatever it is.
And I don't think going to an all-boys school or growing up in a single parent family necessarily means you're "a drone down". Life and social interaction is sufficiently complex that any of us can look back in our past and point at things that disadvantaged us. Some might have more than others, but then - by what metric? Take these aspects of your life, find the positives in them, and own them.
I actually feel more like the gu who might have lost the early drone but decided to play super safe in order to compensate - and ends up playing better than normal ^^, but we'll see how things go in the long run haha.
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On September 30 2011 14:50 Adam.Ioba wrote:
Use condoms NO MATTER WHAT SHE SAYS
idk man some people are ready to be a father and mother.
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I went to an all boys school, if anything I think it helped - not being around girls during your formative "dickwad" years probably means you don't have many bad habits plus dorky and awkward is cute, as long as it's not too much.
absolutely not weird at all. I have deep and meaningfuls with my friends regularly, and if they find it weird, they're probably not that good a friend to begin with.
I'm 25, have been through university, lived completely on my own for 2-3 years now, and at uni for 4. My mother still treats me like an idiot child eating glue and getting confused about shoelaces. It's what they do.
I dunnolol I suck at SC.
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You don't have to be friends with girls, most of the time it simply complicates matters. If you like one, just go for the all-in. Women love confident guys so don't beat around the bush ^_^ And if she's not interested gg out faster than Idra and move on!
Trying to convince a girl to like you (which is impossible) is probably the biggest mistake noobies make
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On September 30 2011 14:50 Adam.Ioba wrote:Use condoms NO MATTER WHAT SHE SAYS, never go down on girls and girls poop too. + Show Spoiler +If only I knew this at 17.
Took this advice, still hoping to get a child.
- Play Terran, fight for the humans. Be a badass and play Protoss Zerg
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See this is why TL is awesome <3
Everyone here has been helpful, and I really appreciate your responses to my questions ^^
I guess I'll see you all around the forums from now on, and maybe next time when I do what all TLers have to do once in a while - write a girl blog
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On September 30 2011 14:50 Adam.Ioba wrote:Use condoms NO MATTER WHAT SHE SAYS, never go down on girls and girls poop too. + Show Spoiler +If only I knew this at 17.
I hope those last two things are not related.
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EPT
