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Active: 1573 users

Can tempeh kill me?

Blogs > Djabanete
Post a Reply
Djabanete
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
United States2786 Posts
June 29 2011 20:58 GMT
#1
I live in a college house with 5 other dudes, and in the refrigerator is a package of tempeh. The "sell by" date is May 26, 2011, but there is no "eat by" date. The person that the tempeh belonged to moved out, so the package is in some sense his fossilized remains. It was extracted from the refrigerator sediment in a recent dig, and I can't tell whether it's safe to eat. It's still vacuum sealed. It is light brown in color, but there are some areas of darker brown around the sides.

Please help me, I didn't even know what the fuck tempeh was until I read the description on the package, but the description made it sound delicious so now I want to eat some. But I don't want to get sick or die. Is it safe to eat? If you're posting advice please mention whether or not you are an expert on tempeh so I know whether to believe you.

Poll: What should I do?

Eat it. (19)
 
58%

Don't eat it. (7)
 
21%

Call an ambulance and eat it. (5)
 
15%

Call a natural history museum. (2)
 
6%

33 total votes

Your vote: What should I do?

(Vote): Eat it.
(Vote): Don't eat it.
(Vote): Call an ambulance and eat it.
(Vote): Call a natural history museum.





****
May the BeSt man win.
j0k3r
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United States577 Posts
June 29 2011 21:00 GMT
#2
Question, what the fuck is tempeh for those of us who are unfamiliar? What type of product this is (meat, vegetable, soy) is important.
Djabanete
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
United States2786 Posts
June 29 2011 21:03 GMT
#3
It has brown rice and grains and soy things and protein.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tempeh

And if you come here later telling me you're an expert on tempeh I'm not going to believe you, just FYI.
May the BeSt man win.
dudeman001
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
United States2412 Posts
June 29 2011 21:09 GMT
#4
Hmm... dig in and good luck. Trust in the human immune system! Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger?

This would be the first time I'd ever heard of "death by tempeh." It sounds tasty though, I wanna try some.
Sup.
Derez
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Netherlands6068 Posts
June 29 2011 21:10 GMT
#5
Eat it, you'll be fine. The dark brown is normal even on freshly bought tempeh. If the vacuum seal wasn't broken there isn't much that can go wrong.
EsX_Raptor
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States2802 Posts
June 29 2011 21:15 GMT
#6
the thing's already a fermented product...
munchmunch
Profile Joined October 2010
Canada789 Posts
June 29 2011 21:18 GMT
#7
Actually, spoilage can happen even in a vacuum packed container. Since it's been so long, why not just get a fresh pack. Most supermarkets in north america carry it these days (check in the section next to the salad dressings). At the very least, check to see if it has a bad smell.
Buffy
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Sweden665 Posts
June 29 2011 22:00 GMT
#8
Wouldn't do it, doesn't sound like the best of ideas. Get a new one somewhere : )
Yes I am
Djabanete
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
United States2786 Posts
June 29 2011 22:02 GMT
#9
Poll: What if it was the last piece of tempeh in the universe?

Go for it (6)
 
100%

Don't go for it (0)
 
0%

6 total votes

Your vote: What if it was the last piece of tempeh in the universe?

(Vote): Go for it
(Vote): Don't go for it

May the BeSt man win.
Torenhire
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States11681 Posts
June 29 2011 22:05 GMT
#10
I think the proper vote option should be "don't be a pussy"


EAT IT FOOL.
SirJolt: Well maybe if you weren't so big and stupid, it wouldn't have hit you.
HornyHerring
Profile Joined March 2011
Papua New Guinea1059 Posts
June 29 2011 22:07 GMT
#11
How do you expect me not to choose the last poll option? xD

Anyway, it stays fresh for a while, so you shouldn't worry. Anyway, a little bit of fungal cant kill you, jsut give you diarrhea and tummyache.
oh, hai
besiger
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
Croatia2452 Posts
June 29 2011 22:37 GMT
#12
eat it while streaming, this way if you start convulsing and foaming at the mouth we can call an ambulance.
A weak will coupled with delusions of grandeur
Enki
Profile Blog Joined January 2007
United States2548 Posts
June 29 2011 22:48 GMT
#13
Mind as well try it, can always spit it out if it doesn't taste right.
"Practice, practice, practice. And when you're not practicing you should be practicing. It's the only way to get better. The only way." I run the Smix Fanclub!
Djabanete
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
United States2786 Posts
June 29 2011 22:56 GMT
#14
On an unrelated note, GG.NoRe had alts with a higher postcount than me. What the fuck is up with that? I need to start hanging out in live report threads.

I have one word of advice for you, GG.NoRe: temperance is a virtue.
May the BeSt man win.
Natsumar
Profile Joined March 2011
United States91 Posts
June 30 2011 00:27 GMT
#15
If you haven't tried it, don't. I work part-time at a local sub shop with a few franchises in the midwest (Planet Sub, if it means anything to you) and we carry tempeh for some sandwiches. I've tried every ingredient with crazy combinations on sandwiches, because, why not? It's free.

But there is literally nothing you can do to make tempeh taste better. Raw, cold, heated up, baked, doused in any sauce, eaten in combination with any meat or veggie: nothing helps it. It makes everything taste worse.

Take if from a person who makes a (part-time) living making food: don't touch the tempeh.
Woah guys, this is where it gets tricky. Because right now we're behind in every conceivable aspect [...] The only thing we're not behind in is micro. Right? We got tons of that shit.
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