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Azzur
Australia6267 Posts
Of course, your interest could be something else, e.g. photography, etc. Just don't suggest something nerdy. Or if you have nothing suitable, look at an event that's happening nearby and do some research on it and suggest that you both visit it. Also, don't make the mistake of asking what her interests are and then suggesting that you both do it. You'll want to be the one making the proactive moves. | ||
Hot_Bid
Braavos36402 Posts
also the older you get the more likely it's a date. usually, people don't hang out alone with opposite gender who you don't see or talk to regularly and have it only be a "friend" type of thing. it's ambiguous and you feel ambiguous about the situation, that's good. that means on some level its a date, just treat it as such. | ||
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Lysenko
Iceland2128 Posts
On June 21 2011 03:01 Hot_Bid wrote: people don't hang out alone with opposite gender who you don't see or talk to regularly and have it be a "friend" type of thing. Who doesn't? I sure do. As for whether there's any romantic possibility in the OP's situation, it's simply impossible to tell. Show up, play it straight, and read her behavior in the moment. On the good side, it's promising that she wants to go out of her way to meet up again. | ||
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SigmaoctanusIV
United States3313 Posts
On June 21 2011 00:54 Shifft wrote: Hi TL... Basically, there's this girl that I was really good friends with in high school. We hung out a lot but she was dating a friend of mine plus I was really awkward so naturally we were never more than friends. After high school we basically lost touch. Fast forward to now, it's 5 years later, and I run into her at a bar. We talk for a while and decide to get together this Wednesday night. So my dilemma is that I have no clue where I stand with this girl. Clearly she doesn't hate me or she wouldn't have agreed to go out, but it's super unclear whether we're just hanging out as friends or if this is a date or what. If possible I want to treat this like a new relationship and try to make something romantic happen, but I don't know if she still sees me as just a friend after so long. Also I'm not sure what kind of setting would be good for this outing, I was thinking of taking her to a comedy club since it would be kind of fun and layed back but also give us a chance to talk. I don't think there are any glaring flaws with that plan but idk. This is pretty much the most confusing social situation ever for me and I just have no idea how to go about it at all. If you were really good friends you will have an idea of her reactions. If you really liked her back then she probably knew, Most woman know when a guy is into them. So if she is cool with hanging out she will probably want you to bed her ;P. Well maybe not that fast but be yourself thats all anyone ever wants, cause if you try to be fake she will know. Jump into it feet first and everything will go the way it was mean't to be. Best of luck just be yourself, if she isn't interested in you that way just be glad you have another awesome friend in your life that is willing spend time with you. | ||
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Benjef
United Kingdom6921 Posts
Just be yourself and treat it like a normal date  . | ||
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Stratos
Czech Republic6104 Posts
Then again, you're a liar, Lysenko. | ||
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SaYyId
Portugal277 Posts
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Shifft
Canada1085 Posts
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dudeman001
United States2412 Posts
On June 21 2011 01:37 emperorchampion wrote: zatic, I see your graph, and raise you another one + Show Spoiler + ![[image loading]](http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2011/6/20/b4ff366a-6c6d-48c3-85d4-30bed3d6787f.png) I tried making a graph in excel 2010, but cheezburger.com is actually infinitely easier to use. grumble ![[image loading]](http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2011/6/20/9a687cfb-59ab-48ab-ab00-5a94b87aedbb.png) That's what it boils down to. So get that confidence up and go. You'll otherwise never know what you could've actually had. | ||
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StorkHwaiting
United States3465 Posts
On June 21 2011 01:37 emperorchampion wrote: zatic, I see your graph, and raise you another one This is a pretty retarded graph. | ||
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ILOVEKITTENS
Korea (South)112 Posts
Let's roleplay. I be her, you be you. Me: I'm a 20-something-year-old damsel at a bar. I'm probably either in college or recently out. It's been 5 years since high school, and like most 20-something-year-olds, high school has the relevance of a 1990's sitcom at this point. I'm just out and about, getting a few drinks. You: I'm also a 20-something-year-old, also either in college or recently out. My first thought upon meeting a girl I liked 5 years ago is that I want to spark things up again. This means that I don't have a girlfriend or any relevant romantic interests at this point. This is not necessarily a bad thing, just something that I apparently inherently assume about a girl I haven't seen in years. You: Oh hi, remember me? I am xxxxx from high school! Me: Oh yea! We used to be great friends -- irrelevant semi-ice-breaker conversation -- You: It's great that we got to see each other again, wanna meet up on Wednesday? Me: Sure! -- End -- POST-THOUGHTS: You: I have no clue where I stand with this girl, beyond that she doesn't hate me. Her: ** WE DON'T KNOW, APPARENTLY ** So where does this leave us? Oh, right, where we started. You don't stand anywhere. "Clearly she doesn't hate me," is this the first thing you have to cross out from the list every time someone agrees to do something with you? The obvious issues implied based on this mentality aside, the point is that the current relevant facts are:
So, theoretically speaking, what would be the difference between this being a date and this being just an outing between friends? I presume you do not have any relevant information to this fact, otherwise you would not be asking a StarCraft forum about it. Anyways, I will answer my rhetorical question for you: there is no difference. Be yourself. The past is irrelevant - it has only led you to this point, if vaguely at best. This point is where everything actually BEGINS. High school boyfriend this, used to like her that, lost touch this, awkward that. All irrelevant. What is important is that you see her this Wednesday, and that is when you must determine the following:
Doesn't seem that terrible to me. Honestly, this is what your post sounds like: "Yo I am going out with this girl on Wednesday, but idk if I am on the road to banging her or in the friend zone?" When, effectively, you are neither. Yet. You are an old acquaintance. You are a familiar face. Nothing more. 5 years ago, who were your best friends, and are you still best friends, or even keeping in touch? Even if the answer is yes, you are just a part of the absolute minority. That should shed some light on this situation. Also... "Most confusing social situation ever?" You must be blessed. Anyways, just go, and don't put so much pressure on yourself. You are making mountains out of molehills. Good luck! FIGHTING! | ||
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Otakusan
United States59 Posts
Honestly, if he looked good and she agreed to go out with him, this graph is pretty damn accurate. And if things go well on the first outing/date/whatever, the graph will go up. I don't know why this graph is retarded at all. Perhaps you can explain to me and everyone, because from my dating experiences and my understanding of girls, this is accurate. Edit: Not to mention I just showed my gf this article (her: "what is this? real life mmorpg?"), and she "ROFL-ed" at this graph and said it was pretty accurate also. To the OP: I was in similar shoes as you 2.5 years ago with my current gf. My advice is to go out with her, don't think about it too much, and HAVE FUN. Having fun and laughing is magnetic, so if you have a good time, chances are she will too, and hence she will associate you with fun, and her attraction towards you will grow. | ||
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hazelynut
United States2196 Posts
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Moonling
United States987 Posts
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-Frog-
United States514 Posts
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holy_war
United States3590 Posts
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Shifft
Canada1085 Posts
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Servius_Fulvius
United States947 Posts
On June 24 2011 10:32 Shifft wrote: So we fucked and I'm now proceeding to move on with my life. I'd hate to see the way you treat someone you like... | ||
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dakalro
Romania525 Posts
On June 24 2011 14:15 Servius_Fulvius wrote: I'd hate to see the way you treat someone you like... Lol what? It's sex, women like it too, a lot. I'm assuming he didn't insult her, beat her up or anything similar and it was consenting fun. The only mildly bad thing he said was that she'd turned into a boring person, which hopefully he didn't say in front of her. | ||
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TheGiz
Canada708 Posts
So the day after I saw her I sent her a message asking for her number, and she gave it to me. We're going to grab a coffee or something hopefully this weekend. If not I'll call her next week. So where do I think I stand? Nowhere! I am putting no stock in this meeting whatsoever, and I'm not bragging about it to any of my friends (although somehow my ex-girlfriend found out about it, which is actually good). This is just a simple meeting with a familiar face, and whether or not it moves on to something better is entirely dependent upon how the meeting goes. Dating is never dating at first unless you mutually declare your attraction for one another - it's just a series of meetings to let you determine if there's something worthwhile in front of you. | ||
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