After doing many special favours for NaDa (such as procuring the special ingredient that makes his hair smell so nice) I've finally been reimbursed with this precious top secret information about Trozz's upcoming Magic the Gathering: TL set. This game is sure to overshadow all TL/StarCraft card games that have come before it, and make you weep with happiness at its craftsmanship.
Though I've only managed to get a few pictures to leak, I think that they are more than enough to comment on the subtle balances of this game. As I reveal them I will tell you what I think of them. I realise one or two of the leaks may be old to you, but the majority of it is exclusive to Chef Enterprises(tm).
This is the banner for the blue card set. From the right side of the picture we can see that it will be orgasmic, lip-licking bliss to play, while at the same time being condescending to other players with its "I'm too lazy to even lift my head to look at you while you interrupt the ogling of my beautiful hand."
Continuing with the theme of condescension, players who use this deck will have the option to play this card. Not only does it express extreme disapproval, but it expresses disapproval from a man who was involved in a much scorned scandal. What has the opponent done to deserve such disapproval? Has he worn socks with sandals?
In complete seriousness, I think this deck will suit the styles of those who nerd rage or get angry at people over the internet, and because of that will probably be quite popular. This will increase the number of people attempting to create strategies for this deck, and possibly cause it to be more advanced than the other colours. However, this will not stop players from claiming that blue is the worst colour and requires several buffs to have any chance vs the other colours.
The banner for red shows that players who have long hair and dislike BroodWar probes may feel most comfortable playing this colour. This means Artosis wearing a wig, and his followers, will probably be playing this set. This will translate to a chaotic kind of rage that is perhaps missing from the blue colour. Where blue is the condescending 'thou art a noob' colour, red will take things into the mud in a 'play a man's colour' style.
The ability to control one's opponents with rage will appeal to trolls in equal proportion to Artosises, which means that players who user the colour red will likely be the focus of much of Magic the Gathering: TL Set's attention. They will be louder than blue players, and more offensive as well, while at the same time being loved by many for making the game more dramatic and interesting.
I was not able to procure the black set's banner, but I think this card reveals much of how the black set will be played. Players who use this set will likely be light hearted at the same time as being mean spirited. They will revel in the rage of the blue and red colour players, especially when playing seemingly unfair cards like this that utterly destroy what blue and red players have been macroing so long to be able to summon.
The card I found for white seems to show that this will be a colour for no-nonsense players like Nony. It does what it does, it's not unfair, and it manages to roll you anyway. We can expect when Nony becomes a full-time player for Magic the Gathering: TL Set, his favourite card will be Pokebunny for its ability to render opponents hopeless when massed in large numbers.
Green appears to the colour most suited to macro players, and this card shows that much of the green player's focus will be economy and building up while sitting in your base. Players who waited until they had 200/200 food to attack in the RTS games will probably feel at home playing green. Many complaints will be made about the overpoweredness of Waxangel, but all will be ignored as the ramblings of noobs who chose to play red and blue because they couldn't handle the raw power of green.