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On March 25 2011 11:01 3FFA wrote:I know my father's upbringing was with comic books and the old T.V. and all the old stuff. He has told me tons of stories about his upbringing. He told me his father told him about the war he participated in (I forgot which) right before his father died. He told me that his company (he works for a magazine on doctors, health, etc.) got forced to merge into a bigger one with the head boss being some guy that is just a plain old bully to everyone. At work everything is kept secret unless you hear it from someone up high. Decisions on things like the magazine cover being changed or not putting an article in are kept on a "need to know but if that one guy over there doesn't tell you it's your fault and if you complain guess who is going to get lade off?" basis. Overall, he hates the boss that runs the company. However the boss just above him is awesome and she brings cakes and bagels and all sorts of things to work along with just overall being awesome. Some times he brings some food home  . My father also hates twitter and face book. He plays only really classic video games (Pac Man is on his computer) and is great at drawing. He also designed quite a few pieces of merchandise on Printfection.com. So, yeah I know a good amount about my Dad and am pretty close with him. I know he used to own a dog. However, no parents ever talks about how they met/got married/etc. anymore  . Seems like once you get to the 30s you stop talking about it =/.
Hm, how relieving. No one talks about how they met in terms of marriage and dating, I wonder why...
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Haha never seen an OP actually derail his own thread like this. There is much anger in you.
I think trying to define your father is proving difficult because it's impossible. You can define who he is to you but that is just one fraction of who he is as a person. He was also a son, a husband, a student, a colleague, a father, and a man. He is all those things and more. Defining a person is difficult and takes a lot of the magic out of who they are. The better exercise is trying to figure out what he means to you.
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On March 25 2011 12:14 Zim23 wrote:
Haha never seen an OP actually derail his own thread like this. There is much anger in you.
I think trying to define your father is proving difficult because it's impossible. You can define who he is to you but that is just one fraction of who he is as a person. He was also a son, a husband, a student, a colleague, a father, and a man. He is all those things and more. Defining a person is difficult and takes a lot of the magic out of who they are. The better exercise is trying to figure out what he means to you.
Yeah, try not to follow in my footsteps
Thamks for the contribution
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Part of my personal portfolio webpage is including a section on biggest influences in my life - and my dad is definitely on there. I was considering writing about it, but... well... you were a total dick to someone responding on their thoughts.
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On March 25 2011 12:29 EscPlan9 wrote:
Part of my personal portfolio webpage is including a section on biggest influences in my life - and my dad is definitely on there. I was considering writing about it, but... well... you were a total dick to someone responding on their thoughts.
So you posted telling me that you're not going to post?
Really?
Life goes on whether you do or do not. But another person contributed and I wasn't "a dick"
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Vatican City State2594 Posts
You definitely took his post in the worst possible way, in my opinion. Not something to be expected from someone trying to write a thoughtful piece.
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Torte de Lini yoo need to relax it
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Yeah, I was feeling a bit testy and I misread "you" as "you, Tortellini, should not take your parents for granted" which lead to my interpretation or view that of: "Look at my father, you have nothing to complain about, don't take them for granted".
Hence why I apologized, unblocked him and tried to move forward, but it seems everyone else is more fixated on it more than the piece.
I think I'll write a new piece. This one is completely trashed by my own insecurity.
On March 25 2011 12:45 Coagulation wrote:
Torte de Lini yoo need to relax it
Noted, thanks, I think I do. I just lost like 5 games of 1v1, so it isn't helping now haha
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Vatican City State2594 Posts
It's the internet what do you expect? RAGE FLAME DRAMAAAAA
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On March 25 2011 12:48 Murderotica wrote:
It's the internet what do you expect? RAGE FLAME DRAMAAAAA
I'm trying to avoid that, but either people like to be immensely teaseful and harsh, which I can't handle or they like to be stern and stubborn.
I think I'm somewhere in-between there.
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Just after I turned 12 my father was diagnosed with two separate types of leukemia, requiring both radiation and chemotherapy to be done at the same time. He was given less than 2 weeks to live initially. He fought it off.
Over the next ~3 years, I watched him change from a strong, independent man to a frail man who would get winded by standing up due to the treatments. In 3 years, he went from being around 6 ft tall to 5 ft 6, he went from about 220 lbs to 90 lbs. He had roughly 70% of his skin covered in the equivalent of either 1st or 2nd degree burns due to the severity of the treatments, and because his immune system was compromised so badly, he couldn't repair the burns like a normal person would (which is already a nasty thing to deal with). He suffered through something that I wouldn't wish on any of my enemies. And he died of a severe infection just before my 15th birthday, and only a few days before my parent's 25th anniversary. Near the end, I dropped out of school to help take care of him.
The experience affected me pretty badly, and a psychologist wanted to forcefully admit me into a mental institute to deal with the effects of it if I wouldn't go voluntarily. It didn't happen.
My two sisters and my brother are all much younger than me, so they don't remember much. In fact, my brother can't even remember my dad not being sick..... I'm not sure if they're lucky or unlucky - in one way, they won't remember how much the cancer and treatment changed him since they wont' know what he was like before and compare it to what he was like after, and they won't really remember much of how bad it got at the end. On the other hand, they won't know the man who was their father before the cancer and treatments. The father I know.
I'm 22 now, and there hasn't been a single day of my life that I haven't thought of him. I could easily write 1000 pages about how he influenced my life.
When TadH said "don't take your father for granted", listen to him. He speaks the truth more than you may ever know.
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On March 25 2011 12:57 Impervious wrote:
Just after I turned 12 my father was diagnosed with two separate types of leukemia, requiring both radiation and chemotherapy to be done at the same time. He was given less than 2 weeks to live initially. He fought it off.
Over the next ~3 years, I watched him change from a strong, independent man to a frail man who would get winded by standing up due to the treatments. In 3 years, he went from being around 6 ft tall to 5 ft 6, he went from about 220 lbs to 90 lbs. He had roughly 70% of his skin covered in the equivalent of either 1st or 2nd degree burns due to the severity of the treatments, and because his immune system was compromised so badly, he couldn't repair the burns like a normal person would (which is already a nasty thing to deal with). He suffered through something that I wouldn't wish on any of my enemies. And he died of a severe infection just before my 15th birthday, and only a few days before my parent's 25th anniversary. Near the end, I dropped out of school to help take care of him.
The experience affected me pretty badly, and a psychologist wanted to forcefully admit me into a mental institute to deal with the effects of it if I wouldn't go voluntarily. It didn't happen.
My two sisters and my brother are all much younger than me, so they don't remember much. In fact, my brother can't even remember my dad not being sick..... I'm not sure if they're lucky or unlucky - in one way, they won't remember how much the cancer and treatment changed him since they wont' know what he was like before and compare it to what he was like after, and they won't really remember much of how bad it got at the end. On the other hand, they won't know the man who was their father before the cancer and treatments. The father I know.
I'm 22 now, and there hasn't been a single day of my life that I haven't thought of him. I could easily write 1000 pages about how he influenced my life.
When TadH said "don't take your father for granted", listen to him. He speaks the truth more than you may ever know.
Edit: I can't fucking read today.
I'm sorry to hear about your loss. It's terrible that you had to endure so much at such a young age, even worse that your siblings didn't even get to know him before the illness. It may have been physically frail, but I'm sure he had a lot to offer not by his predicament, but rather by his wisdom, thoughts and insight at such a harsh and troublesome time.
I hope you got back into school. If you don't mind me asking, what kind of a person was he before? Job, education, etc. He sounds like an incredible person.
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On March 25 2011 13:02 Torte de Lini wrote:Show nested quote +On March 25 2011 12:57 Impervious wrote:
Just after I turned 12 my father was diagnosed with two separate types of leukemia, requiring both radiation and chemotherapy to be done at the same time. He was given less than 2 weeks to live initially. He fought it off.
Over the next ~3 years, I watched him change from a strong, independent man to a frail man who would get winded by standing up due to the treatments. In 3 years, he went from being around 6 ft tall to 5 ft 6, he went from about 220 lbs to 90 lbs. He had roughly 70% of his skin covered in the equivalent of either 1st or 2nd degree burns due to the severity of the treatments, and because his immune system was compromised so badly, he couldn't repair the burns like a normal person would (which is already a nasty thing to deal with). He suffered through something that I wouldn't wish on any of my enemies. And he died of a severe infection just before my 15th birthday, and only a few days before my parent's 25th anniversary. Near the end, I dropped out of school to help take care of him.
The experience affected me pretty badly, and a psychologist wanted to forcefully admit me into a mental institute to deal with the effects of it if I wouldn't go voluntarily. It didn't happen.
My two sisters and my brother are all much younger than me, so they don't remember much. In fact, my brother can't even remember my dad not being sick..... I'm not sure if they're lucky or unlucky - in one way, they won't remember how much the cancer and treatment changed him since they wont' know what he was like before and compare it to what he was like after, and they won't really remember much of how bad it got at the end. On the other hand, they won't know the man who was their father before the cancer and treatments. The father I know.
I'm 22 now, and there hasn't been a single day of my life that I haven't thought of him. I could easily write 1000 pages about how he influenced my life.
When TadH said "don't take your father for granted", listen to him. He speaks the truth more than you may ever know. Edit: I can't fucking read today. I'm sorry to hear about your loss. It's terrible that you had to endure so much at such a young age, even worse that your siblings didn't even get to know him before the illness. It may have been physically frail, but I'm sure he had a lot to offer not by his predicament, but rather by his wisdom, thoughts and insight at such a harsh and troublesome time. I hope you got back into school. If you don't mind me asking, what kind of a person was he before? Job, education, etc. He sounds like an incredible person.
Yea, I'm in uni right now. 3rd year. I went back to school once my life settled out a bit. Got my grades up, got some good extracurricular stuff going for me, did well in football, and ended up getting 7/8 of my uni applications (the only rejection was the one school I really didn't want to go to, which was actually Waterloo lol).
As for who he was before? I'm not even sure where to start.....
He started working straight out of high school in the printing industry, even though he was colour blind. He quickly worked up into a managerial position. In his spare time, was a successful entrepreneur on more than one occasion. He still found time to be an avid fisherman and hunter, as well as a general outdoorsman and handyman. He was a highschool jock. And he was always there when anyone ever needed him. At one point, he was competing with chess grandmasters.
An interesting thing happened when I was in high school - we went to the same school, and we ended up even having the same teacher in charge of the chess club (he had just started teaching when my father was there, and was near retirement when I went). That teacher was able to easily tell that I was my father's son, and even our style of play was similar lol.
As for wisdom and insight, he shared a lot of that with me. It's also why I'll never regret dropping out of school for that year.
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As for who he was before? I'm not even sure where to start.....
That's sorta where I had trouble too when I first started writing out my father. Of course, it must be harder for you. No doubt there.
He started working straight out of high school in the printing industry, even though he was colour blind.
Get out! That's so awesome! I am envious of how much you and your father shared and were so similar with. People say I'm like my father except they only mention this when I did something wrong or terrible (my mother likes to use it a lot).
I'm really sorry for your loss, but glad to hear you still had moments together and people who knew both of you!
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On March 25 2011 13:57 Torte de Lini wrote:That's sorta where I had trouble too when I first started writing out my father. Of course, it must be harder for you. No doubt there. I don't see this being an easy thing for anyone to answer, tbh, regardless of the situation.
Show nested quote +
He started working straight out of high school in the printing industry, even though he was colour blind.
Get out! That's so awesome! I am envious of how much you and your father shared and were so similar with. People say I'm like my father except they only mention this when I did something wrong or terrible (my mother likes to use it a lot). I'm really sorry for your loss, but glad to hear you still had moments together and people who knew both of you!
The thing is - even though I only got to know my father for less than 15 years of my life, I know as much as I could have possibly learned about him. Yea, there are a few nagging questions that I've developed as I got older, but there was no way I could have predicted that I'd have those questions when I was 14.
At the same time - you seem to know your father, but not know him, from what I read. I'm sure you know what I mean, and I seriously suggest you find out. There is going to be a lot below the surface that you won't find otherwise.
EDIT - also, gonna add something. I know it sounds sad, and it's definitely not an ideal situation, but for every bad memory I have about my father, I have many more that will put a smile on my face.
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I have this feeling that this should have been posted on father's day. A very good read by the way.
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wait a minute.....didnt you have like only 700 posts last week torte de lini?
xD
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On March 25 2011 18:16 krok(obs) wrote:
wait a minute.....didnt you have like only 700 posts last week torte de lini?
xD
No, I'm pretty sure it was a lot higher than that :B
On March 25 2011 14:21 yellowmoe wrote:
I have this feeling that this should have been posted on father's day. A very good read by the way.
Cheers
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How long did it take you to write/edit this blog? Seems like at least a few hours
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On March 26 2011 10:27 adeezy wrote:
How long did it take you to write/edit this blog? Seems like at least a few hours
23 minutes maybe. Not an hour.
I formed the ideas in my head for a while now.
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EPT
