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Due to a couple of replies in my other blog i decided to do this for the sake of those who think i just want to share the godlike glory of my everyday life, for the sake of admiration.
Due to wearing shin guards for soccer, i had no hair on my shins all the way up to when i was 18.
I once fell on my ass, in a pool of mudd, infront of an entire stadium full of people.
I once threw up infront of my crush in school. Because i wanted to impress her so bad, i
overexerted myself on a cooper test.
When i was 12, my selfesteem was so low, that i dressed up as a jester for a party. Just so i could preempt people calling me fool.
After my second fight, i cried in the lockerroom.
I realized that i might be the laziest person the world;
Once, i spend hours in close contact with a female, building up some severe pressure. So, when i finally came home that night, i really needed to pleasure myself.
And it was through this, that i realized, that i am quite possibly the most lazy person in the world.
As i reached climax, i discovered that i had underestimated the pressure buildt up. Because the initial orgasm contraction fired the first part of my sticky goodness straight at my own face.
Now. As some of you might know, in critical situations, time slows down. And that was exactly what happened here.
The moment i felt the wet warmth hit my face, this is what went through my head;
"AHHH SHIT, GAY!"
"Ohh fuck, i'm not done. Must avoid cumshotting myself for a second time!"
"Fuck, fuck, fuck hold on, if i point my cock to the side, i'll have to change my sheets."
"other hand too far from area to block."
"screw it, i'll have to shower anyway..."
That was my internal dialogue in the split second between jizzing myself in the face, and coming *resist urge to make pun* to the conclusion that repeating said action would involve less cleanup.
And so it came to be, that i would rather glaze myself like a christmas ham, than have to change the sheets on my bed.
I once stole a porn tape from my dad. Only to realize later that it was all tranny porn. For those lucky enough to not having been around in the VHS days of porn. Shit like that was devastating once you finally got your hands on some nature footage.
The first time i came, it hurt so bad that i froze, unable to move for like 30 seconds.
In the early days of internet pornography, when i had no computer of my own. I had to print out the dirty pictures. Resulting in my mom once finding a picture of a woman in a full latex suit recieving anal sex, in my room. And confronting me with the words "This is not how it happens in real life!" That was not awkward at all for a 12 year old boy, slowly exploring his sexuality.
 
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Yeah dont you hate when you know.., you jizz in your own face?
Quite an adventure you had there.
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On February 14 2011 10:28 Ushio wrote:
Yeah dont you hate when you know.., you jizz in your own face?
Quite an adventure you had there.
Well, it was certainly easier and faster to grab a silkwood shower and wash away the shame and failure, than putting on new sheets. ^^
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Don't take this the wrong way but I couldn't stop laughing when I read that you cummed in your face. So unexpected man.
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On February 14 2011 10:31 Blackjack111 wrote:Show nested quote +On February 14 2011 10:28 Ushio wrote:
Yeah dont you hate when you know.., you jizz in your own face?
Quite an adventure you had there.
Well, it was certainly easier and faster to grab a silkwood shower and wash away the shame and failure, than putting on new sheets. ^^
i usually just sleep in mine.
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On February 14 2011 10:37 Roe wrote:
i usually just sleep in mine.
Brave choice. ^^
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Yeah man, despite not personally experiencing it, i can imagine getting your own jizz in your face might suck. A lot.
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On February 14 2011 10:40 Colbear wrote:
Yeah man, despite not personally experiencing it, i can imagine getting your own jizz in your face might suck. A lot.
Ye, i was less than impressed with myself.
Then again, i guess it could have been worse. If i had thought it was fucking awesome to shoot a load in my own face. I might have needed to consider a lifestyle change.
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This is a great blog lol 5/5
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Finally a brag blog that delivers. Lololol! this is almost Day9 level.... With a little more effort maybe...
Anyway i hope you're fine now man. Right now you seem to be a very self-secure baller to be able to write that stuff bout yourself. Pretty sure youre not insecure anymore!:p
+ Show Spoiler +Also hope these shenanigans are a thing of the past!
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Dude - self-shot is mandatory to becoming a man! You gotta go through it - and the girl you are with WILL laugh her ass off.
I hit myself in the forehead - SMACK.
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On February 14 2011 13:19 Qzy wrote:
Dude - self-shot is mandatory to becoming a man! You gotta go through it - and the girl you are with WILL laugh her ass off.
I hit myself in the forehead - SMACK.
Meanwhile, in Denmark...
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Good that you are able to put it in the past and laugh it off. I had a good laugh too 
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Feb 14th and the rest of us would like to thank you.
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Oh man this is an easy 5/5 blog. Pure gold. Perfect for valentines day as well hahahaha
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Glad people are enjoying the failures of my past. 
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On February 14 2011 13:17 SushilS wrote:
Finally a brag blog that delivers.
Hahaha my thoughts exactly. I opened this page with spite and disdain ready and definitely got a good lol instead.
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When i was 12, my selfesteem was so low, that i dressed up as a jester for a party. Just so i could preempt people calling me fool.
i feel for the 12 year old kid version of you man.
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On February 14 2011 23:33 6xy wrote:Show nested quote +When i was 12, my selfesteem was so low, that i dressed up as a jester for a party. Just so i could preempt people calling me fool. i feel for the 12 year old kid version of you man.
Hehe, he had a rough time.
I do think it forced me to eventually become a better and stronger person. Adversity builds character i suppose. 
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EPT
