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F me and my life

Blogs > DNB
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DNB
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Finland995 Posts
December 25 2010 23:25 GMT
#1
I don't know how to post threads in the blog section, so I thought to write it just here... Basically, I was celebrating xmas eve at my friend's flat. There I hanged out with a very cute girl who was flirty with me all night... At one point I had a huge the urge to go to the bathroom for a piss, but she was there doing her hair. She told me that I could come in and do my thing, and that she wouldn't mind, after which I hesitated but in the end I walked in and tried to take a piss. I was incredibly shy, nothing came out... I forced myself hard to pee so I wouldn't look awkward, but I ended up letting out a huge fart... She stopped being flirty with me after that.

So, how was your christmas eve?
paper
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
13196 Posts
December 25 2010 23:26 GMT
#2
http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/myblog.php

As for your story, I don't even...
Hates Fun🤔
SweetNJoshSauce
Profile Joined July 2010
United States468 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-12-25 23:29:41
December 25 2010 23:27 GMT
#3
Oh man that was great. I was preparing myself for another typical Team Liquid girl post: "Oh I like this girl but woe to me were just friends" blah blah.

Thank you for sharing your humiliating experience
TOloseGT
Profile Blog Joined April 2007
United States1145 Posts
December 25 2010 23:27 GMT
#4
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Zurles
Profile Joined February 2009
United Kingdom1659 Posts
December 25 2010 23:28 GMT
#5
hahahahahahahahaha, what a jackass.
Narwhal
Profile Joined September 2009
United Kingdom314 Posts
December 25 2010 23:28 GMT
#6
LOL good one.


probably the wrong section though
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
Ho0ps
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United Kingdom216 Posts
December 25 2010 23:28 GMT
#7
[image loading]

What the christ.
FraCuS
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
United States1072 Posts
December 25 2010 23:28 GMT
#8
LOL!

My advice, next time go outside to pee if you're in that situation.

Apink/Girl's Day/miss A/IU/Crayon Pop/Sistar/Exo K :D l Kpop and Kdrama Enthusiast
Deleted User 3420
Profile Blog Joined May 2003
24492 Posts
December 25 2010 23:29 GMT
#9
wow, this story is hilarious
shawster
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Canada2485 Posts
December 25 2010 23:29 GMT
#10
best story i've heard on TL in a long time lmao
Jonoman92
Profile Blog Joined September 2006
United States9110 Posts
December 25 2010 23:29 GMT
#11
lol A+ story imo
imDerek
Profile Blog Joined August 2007
United States1944 Posts
December 25 2010 23:30 GMT
#12
sorry for you
Least favorite progamers: Leta, Zero, Mind, Shine, free, really <-- newly added
Zim23
Profile Joined August 2010
United States1681 Posts
December 25 2010 23:44 GMT
#13
God I hope this is real. Hahahaha
Do an arranged marriage if she's not completely minging, and don't worry about dancing, get a go-kart, cheers.
Comeh
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States18919 Posts
December 25 2010 23:46 GMT
#14
Yeah, nervous peeing sucks.

But you know, that usually doesn't matter when drinking.
:/.
ヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノDELETE ICEFROGヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(
Loanshark
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
China3094 Posts
December 26 2010 00:03 GMT
#15
LOLOOOL
No dough, no go. And no mercy.
Future)Breeze
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
Croatia88 Posts
December 26 2010 00:17 GMT
#16
L O L, just just rofl

now you learned (hard way unfortunately) to never force things in life, esp when near chicks.
Megaliskuu
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States5123 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-12-26 00:20:54
December 26 2010 00:20 GMT
#17
Haha I'm LOLing hard here nice one!

This chick may not be flirty with you anymore, but you have a 5 star blog on tl, thats all that matters :p.
|BW>Everything|Add me on star2 KR server TheMuTaL.675 for practice games :)|NEX clan| https://www.dotabuff.com/players/183104694
Noxide
Profile Joined July 2009
United States2870 Posts
December 26 2010 00:22 GMT
#18
That's the best story I have heard yet today
Flash ひなの戦争の王である || しかし、実際にはヤフーの ファンタジーサッカー、楽しいプレー私の週末を占めている
ShoCkeyy
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
7815 Posts
December 26 2010 00:34 GMT
#19
Lmao, i love you. You made me smile on christmas which hasn't been done in years.
Life?
elmizzt
Profile Joined February 2010
United States3309 Posts
December 26 2010 00:40 GMT
#20
el oh el oh el

i'll try this next time a girl gets flirty
d=(^_^)z
Coagulation
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States9633 Posts
December 26 2010 01:17 GMT
#21
ROFL
StorkHwaiting
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States3465 Posts
December 26 2010 01:22 GMT
#22
hahahaha so fking good. Thank you for this!
jaymik
Profile Joined November 2009
Korea (South)425 Posts
December 26 2010 01:22 GMT
#23
i actually laughed out loud. cheers to you mate
jaymik kr/na
SONE
Profile Joined May 2010
Canada839 Posts
December 26 2010 02:12 GMT
#24
my day is absolutely emo as fuck right now, but thank you for that read put a bright spot on my horrible day. TY OP.
ilovezil
Profile Blog Joined August 2006
United States4143 Posts
December 26 2010 02:27 GMT
#25
Yo, come on guys. It's really bad to be having fun and laughing at others' expense. Think of how hard it was for this guy, knowing he ruined his chances with a girl and making it humiliating and awkward every time he's near that girl. I mean, what if it happened to you? Would you guys still be laughing?

God, you guys should feel ashamed of yourselves...
ilovezil
Profile Blog Joined August 2006
United States4143 Posts
December 26 2010 02:28 GMT
#26
Pfft...

AHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
SpoR
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
United States1542 Posts
December 26 2010 02:35 GMT
#27
On December 26 2010 11:27 ilovezil wrote:
Yo, come on guys. It's really bad to be having fun and laughing at others' expense. Think of how hard it was for this guy, knowing he ruined his chances with a girl and making it humiliating and awkward every time he's near that girl. I mean, what if it happened to you? Would you guys still be laughing?

God, you guys should feel ashamed of yourselves...


pretty sure this story is fake
A man is what he thinks about all day long.
HuK
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
Canada1591 Posts
December 26 2010 02:51 GMT
#28
so funny
ProgamerLive like a God or die like a Slave 11:11
ilovezil
Profile Blog Joined August 2006
United States4143 Posts
December 26 2010 02:54 GMT
#29
On December 26 2010 11:35 SpoR wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 26 2010 11:27 ilovezil wrote:
Yo, come on guys. It's really bad to be having fun and laughing at others' expense. Think of how hard it was for this guy, knowing he ruined his chances with a girl and making it humiliating and awkward every time he's near that girl. I mean, what if it happened to you? Would you guys still be laughing?

God, you guys should feel ashamed of yourselves...


pretty sure this story is fake


Oh, Charlie, whatever will we do with you...
Sigh
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
Canada2433 Posts
December 26 2010 02:54 GMT
#30
HAHAHAHAHAHA
you just made my 7:54 PM.
Though i do feel sorry for you
NaDa/Flash/Thorzain Fan
allluckysevens7777
Profile Joined February 2009
United States53 Posts
December 26 2010 02:57 GMT
#31
Instead of forcing it, "I guess since it's already out..." Instant success.

+ Show Spoiler +
Or restraining order.
tarpman
Profile Joined February 2009
Canada723 Posts
December 26 2010 03:02 GMT
#32
omg what. I can't bring myself to believe that this could actually happen.
Saving the world, one kilobyte at a time.
FragKrag
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
United States11567 Posts
December 26 2010 03:09 GMT
#33
5/5
*TL CJ Entusman #40* "like scissors does anything to paper except MAKE IT MORE NUMEROUS" -paper
chobopeon
Profile Blog Joined May 2003
United States7342 Posts
December 26 2010 03:11 GMT
#34
awesome. i can picture exactly how this would happen. ah god it must have SUCKED.
:O
MaReK
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
Australia446 Posts
December 26 2010 07:26 GMT
#35
'Well my pants are half off, why aren't yours?'
"My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg "
Cambium
Profile Blog Joined June 2004
United States16368 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-12-26 07:35:04
December 26 2010 07:34 GMT
#36
You had the perfect build up for

"I accidentally peed in her mouth"

but good story :D
When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.
RageOverdose
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
United States690 Posts
December 26 2010 07:36 GMT
#37
Man, OP, no offense but it was funny. I hope you end up laughing at it too.

Especially since you ended the story on the "punchline" anyway.

Honestly, I wish my Christmas Eve/Day had been as eventful.
Loser777
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
1931 Posts
December 26 2010 08:27 GMT
#38
Thank you for reminding me of why I read
6581
DoX.)
Profile Joined December 2008
Singapore6164 Posts
December 26 2010 08:33 GMT
#39
Worthy of disciples graphic posters imo
thOr6136
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Slovenia1775 Posts
December 26 2010 09:16 GMT
#40
AHAHAHHAHAHAHA oh my god
BloodDrunK
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Bangladesh2767 Posts
December 26 2010 09:18 GMT
#41
OMG looooool............
You have the power to create your own destiny.
cArn-
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Korea (South)824 Posts
December 26 2010 09:23 GMT
#42
On December 26 2010 11:27 ilovezil wrote:
Yo, come on guys. It's really bad to be having fun and laughing at others' expense. Think of how hard it was for this guy, knowing he ruined his chances with a girl and making it humiliating and awkward every time he's near that girl. I mean, what if it happened to you? Would you guys still be laughing?

God, you guys should feel ashamed of yourselves...


wait you think she never farts mb

that was fucking hilarious
Twitter : http://twitter.com/CARNDARAK
darklordjac
Profile Joined July 2010
Canada2231 Posts
December 26 2010 09:33 GMT
#43
Lmfao
Bambipwnsu
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Canada698 Posts
December 26 2010 10:28 GMT
#44
On December 26 2010 17:33 DoX.) wrote:
Worthy of disciples graphic posters imo


oh my god, please make one disciple lol
LoL @ NA: bambipwnsu
TheAntZ
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Israel6248 Posts
December 26 2010 13:04 GMT
#45
oh god, im so sorry for your loss
I guess she didnt wanna talk to you after finding out that you're full of hot air
43084 | Honeybadger: "So july, you're in the GSL finals. How do you feel?!" ~ July: "HUNGRY."
GrackBauer
Profile Joined December 2010
4 Posts
December 26 2010 13:07 GMT
#46
Next time perhaps you should delay your gas timing.
madnessman
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
United States1581 Posts
December 26 2010 13:07 GMT
#47
hahahha so good. first time i've literally lol'd after reading something online in a while.
TheAntZ
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Israel6248 Posts
December 26 2010 13:38 GMT
#48
On December 26 2010 22:07 GrackBauer wrote:
Next time perhaps you should delay your gas timing.


The name + the comment made me spit out my water from laughter :D
43084 | Honeybadger: "So july, you're in the GSL finals. How do you feel?!" ~ July: "HUNGRY."
rotinegg
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States1719 Posts
December 26 2010 13:58 GMT
#49
ROFL

im so sorry for you but hopefully your christmas was alot better! merry christmas
Translator
zatic
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
Zurich15366 Posts
December 26 2010 14:07 GMT
#50
Finally a funny girl blog hahaha
ModeratorI know Teamliquid is known as a massive building
alexpnd
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
Canada1857 Posts
December 26 2010 15:47 GMT
#51
you blew it
www.brainyweb.ca //web stuff!
LittLeD
Profile Joined May 2010
Sweden7973 Posts
December 26 2010 16:13 GMT
#52
On December 27 2010 00:47 alexpnd wrote:
you blew it

ehehehehhe
this thread has made me rofl more than once for sure :D
☆Grubby ☆| Tod|DeMusliM|ThorZaiN|SaSe|Moon|Mana| ☆HerO ☆
Ghad
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Norway2551 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-12-26 16:59:02
December 26 2010 16:57 GMT
#53
I give you five stars for your valiant effort, lol.

Tbh, I would have gone and pissed in the kitchen sink rather than going in there, what the hell were you thinking?
forgottendreams: One underage girl, two drunk guys, one gogo dancer and starcraft 2. Apparently just another day in Europe.
DNB
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Finland995 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-12-31 22:46:28
December 31 2010 22:37 GMT
#54

****



F me and my life - Part Two



I experienced another quite a similar event, not as tragic as the first, but I thought to share it anyways, because I already made this blog about my previous miserable experience... Basically, I went to this public swimming center last thursday. After swimming a few laps I decided to go to this hot jacuzzi with about 4-5 people in it. I noticed a very pretty and fit woman sitting in the opposite from my side, and I saw her checking me out when I entered the pool. She still kept looking at me while I was there, and I pretended to ignore, being the shy beta male I am... I had hundreds of thoughts going through my head about it, but at 5 minutes of this awkward "interaction" between us, I decided to look at her in the eyes and smile at her, while swimming over to her side. She smiled back, and we started to talk about different stuff. Things were going fine, and I told her that I was thirsty and wanted to buy a drink from the bar close to the jacuzzi... Just after I stepped out of the jacuzzi, I slipped hard on the floor and my leg hit some other waitress carrying a huge portion of french fries... There I was laying on the ground looking like a pathetic wimp with a ton of fries, ketchup, mayo and some other shit on me... The waitress apologized and wiped some of the food off of me, and I told the waitress and the other girl that I was going to the shower for a moment to clean myself.


It should have only took a few minutes, but in the shower I started to have a huge boner out of nowhere... I had to calm down my penis for at least 8 minutes so that I could go out to the swimming area again... Finally after that I got back to the jacuzzi area, only to notice that the woman had gone.


Life is a bitch...



****



LazyMacro
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
976 Posts
December 31 2010 22:42 GMT
#55
Wow, I thought my day sucked. I suddenly feel better.
Comeh
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States18919 Posts
December 31 2010 22:49 GMT
#56
I usually don't laugh at other people's misfortune, but that's pretty hilarious.
Boners are so annoying sometimes :/.
ヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノDELETE ICEFROGヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(
LazyMacro
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
976 Posts
January 01 2011 00:04 GMT
#57
On January 01 2011 07:49 Comeh wrote:
I usually don't laugh at other people's misfortune, but that's pretty hilarious.
Boners are so annoying sometimes :/.

No kidding...
GGTeMpLaR
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
United States7226 Posts
January 01 2011 01:14 GMT
#58
ahahaha that sucks man

on the bright side, you'll always have this funny story though =D
Initial_H.C.
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
Canada560 Posts
January 01 2011 01:18 GMT
#59
Wowowow totally unexpected lol
palanq
Profile Blog Joined December 2004
United States761 Posts
January 01 2011 01:18 GMT
#60
there you stand, broken-hearted
tried to pee, but only farted
time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana
Juliette
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United States6003 Posts
January 01 2011 01:32 GMT
#61
im sad
OKAY FROM THAT PERSPECTIVE I SEE WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT
StorkHwaiting
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States3465 Posts
January 01 2011 17:23 GMT
#62
On January 01 2011 10:18 palanq wrote:
there you stand, broken-hearted
tried to pee, but only farted


hahahaha
cArn-
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Korea (South)824 Posts
January 01 2011 17:48 GMT
#63
rofl I like part two too
Twitter : http://twitter.com/CARNDARAK
buickskylark
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Canada664 Posts
January 01 2011 18:56 GMT
#64
i love that you didn't try to make the story long. Just the right amount of details.
RezChi
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
Canada2368 Posts
January 01 2011 22:18 GMT
#65
This is so win, lol.

Note to self:Don't try forcing oneself to piss.
scDeluX
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
Canada1341 Posts
January 01 2011 23:03 GMT
#66
haha your blogs are good, first one was gold ! gee gee
Brood War is forever
eLiE
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Canada1039 Posts
January 02 2011 01:03 GMT
#67
wow, how did I miss this? That is the worst thing I've ever heard.
How's the weather down there?
3JeanPierre3
Profile Joined July 2010
Peru43 Posts
February 18 2011 02:25 GMT
#68
LOL
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
MaRiNe23
Profile Blog Joined December 2006
United States747 Posts
February 18 2011 03:32 GMT
#69
I normally don't "lol" in real life very often but this beats the cake XD
We have competitive ladder, strong community, progaming in Korea going strong, perfectly balanced game..why do we need sc2? #1 ANTI-SC2 fan
Xtal
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Haiti385 Posts
February 18 2011 04:20 GMT
#70
My only question... should I bring the lube?
Have you ever heard the story, about the Zergling and the Probe? The Probe didn't make it across the creep.
mizU
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States12125 Posts
February 18 2011 05:00 GMT
#71
LMAO.

It sucks when you're sitting down, trying to fart, and then you pee.
if happy ever afters did exist <3 @watamizu_
nayumi
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Australia6499 Posts
February 18 2011 05:47 GMT
#72
lmao so good ...
Sugoi monogatari onii-chan!
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