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I've never blogged, or even really thought about blogging. I wanted to post somewhere, and teamliquid.net seemed like the right place (as I do spend more time on this website than any other) and I feel very much a part of the community here.
Tonight I was involved in a major accident where one of the driver's died. I was not at fault but there is a significant possibility that the driver of another vehicle died when my car hit his. (There is no way to know whether or not he dead already)
His SUV was flipped upside down, unlit, and in the middle of my lane. I did not see the car until it was too late.. I struck the driver side door at about 50mph.
So.. after signing forms, giving statements, and taking a moment to pay my respects in silence, I am now home and safe. I am a lucky guy to be able to walk away from something like that without a scratch.
I don't even know the guy's name--
I am usually not very religious, but.. for whatever its worth, thank God that he was alone and there wasn't a family or any children etc in the car that I hit.
DRIVE SAFE ITS NOT A JOKE
edit: Has anyone experienced anything like this? Do you find out about the party involved, should I attend any funeral, should I let it go and move on?
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intrigue
Washington, D.C9935 Posts
that's very heavy. i am glad that you are safe.
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Well, I was in an accident about 3 years ago where the other driver got injured, I have no idea how seriously though. My parent's were like hiding shit from me about it since they were taking care of it.
But yes, she did end up with some injury possibly, and my insurance company had to go to court I think.
I was sorta pissed off because I had heard that she had alot of perscription drugs in her system at the time, but because I was taking a left hand turn of course it's my fault. That road was terrible, there was a huge blind spot because of tree's there (they have since removed them, thank god), and people were always speeding around that bend in the road, which she was speeding as well.
I don't know op, in my position, because of the circumstances of the accident, I never wished to see her or anything like that.
I would just let it go.
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I wouldn't get emotionally attached.... something like this could end up haunting you man...
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Im sure you did everything you could to control the situation. dont feel guilty!
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Ugh I remember reading the 2+2 anonymous confession thread and some guy talked about how he hit a pregnant woman's car because the sun was blocking his view and he killed her in the car accident that resulted. Just must suck so bad.
If there was nothing you could do, there was nothing you could do man. I'm really sorry.
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My mother died in a car accident where she was hit by a bus. The bus driver was not at fault, yet he called me to give his condolences, met my father for a talk, and attended the funeral. Very nice moves on his part, but then again it didn't make me happier either.
How about you call the guy's family to give your condolences and ask whether you are welcome to attend the funeral? They may or may not want to see you, so better ask beforehand.
Just make sure you don't reproach yourself. You are not at fault and had no chance of preventing the accident. If karma/the reaper/god/chance/whatever wanted to take the other driver, they would have done so anyway. You just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
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Do what you feel is necessary. It's your life. It might be awkward if you go to the funeral but you could probably play it cool and the family might be glad you came depending on how many of the family are able to make it. I would get in touch with the family first and make a decision based on their reaction if going to the funeral is something you really wanna do.
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I hope this doesn't seem inappropriate but there is an Australian film called 'Look Both Ways' that addresses this issue as part of the movie.
I think it would be a good idea for yours and their sake to offer condolences to their family as it could help contribute (even just a little bit) to everyone involved moving on. I'm not sure about attending the funeral, depending on your mental state.
Just know it's not your fault and take care of yourself. That's the most important thing.
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Glad you're safe. just know that its not your fault.
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All I wanna say is don't feel any guilt about this it wasn't you're fault and there was nothing you could do about it. You are probabbly gonna feel a little bad for a while but try not to beat you're self up unnecessarily about it. I was involved in a much less serious acident myself and I felt bad and guilty even though it wasn't my fault so I'm guessing you're feeling the same but like 10 times worse.
Its horrible but it wasn't you're fault man.
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My brother saw a biker get hit at full speed one night when he was 14. Apparently the image was horribly scarring. The biker broke his neck and is currently a quadriplegic. It's definitely crucial to drive safe. It kills me to see all of the stupid things that people do while driving.
Do what you think is right, but don't let people put any blame onto yourself if it was truly not your fault.
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On December 07 2010 19:12 Scorch wrote:
My mother died in a car accident where she was hit by a bus. The bus driver was not at fault, yet he called me to give his condolences, met my father for a talk, and attended the funeral. Very nice moves on his part, but then again it didn't make me happier either.
How about you call the guy's family to give your condolences and ask whether you are welcome to attend the funeral? They may or may not want to see you, so better ask beforehand.
Just make sure you don't reproach yourself. You are not at fault and had no chance of preventing the accident. If karma/the reaper/god/chance/whatever wanted to take the other driver, they would have done so anyway. You just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I think this is really good advice. I wouldn't take a chance and go to the funeral without asking the family first. "Probably" being okay with you there to pay your condolences isn't good enough for me. Assuming is wrong. Getting a confirmation is the proper way.
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I personally have never been in such a possition but I have been to many car crashes and all I know is that you should deal with the situation in some way just trying to forget it will fuck you over in the longrun. You have to cope with it and if it is just to write down your feelings and throw away the letter. Sucking it up just is a good way to have bad dreams and depression over come you at a time where you dont even know its because of that incident.
If you want to go to the funeral you should deffenetly ask if its ok.
If not just visit his grave a few days later to pay your respect.
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Sorry man, must be a strange feeling. I don't think you're obligated to go to the funeral though, as you didn't really cause the persons death. If you were responsible it would be a different story. If you feel like it will help the healing, then you should go. The family probably won't mind.
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You could contact the family, but probably should not attend the funeral. You don't know the person and a funeral is meant to be a celebration of somebodies life. It would probably be awkward for you and a lot of the people at the funeral, anyways.
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I'm extremely accident prone, but luckily have never been involved in a fatality accident...
You're very lucky to have walked away unhurt.
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EPT
