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Gold and Shit Don't Mix

Blogs > EsX_Raptor
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1 2 3 4 5 Next All
EsX_Raptor
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States2802 Posts
November 05 2010 16:06 GMT
#1
Clumsy, stupid, ugly, and lonely are just a couple of the adjectives that can describe this guy. It wouldn’t impress anyone if I were to tell them he’s never had a girlfriend even though he’s 24. In fact, he’s even confessed he’s never jacked off. By the way, did I already mention he's stupid?

Since the beginning of the year, the guy has managed to keep in touch with one of the most gorgeous girls ever known to man, and she fucking likes him. But rest assured that it is more likely for me to journey deep into the Amazons, freeze an Indian chief's balls, fuck his wife, and make it out alive to sell them on E-Bay, than have this guy out on an ice-cream date with the aforementioned lady, or so I like to think. However, I’m afraid that those are some of the paradoxes in life one will first die before ever getting a logical explanation to, if at all.

Now, this is all due to women being so overly emotional; from time to time they will get depressed and power down their anti-faggot shields. This is exactly when creatures like this guy will lurk out of their caves and crawl towards these eye-burning angels to elicit some small-talk. The girls, naturally, will be so into their emotions that they will not see they're actually talking to a byproduct of some sort of WW2 radioactive waste.

But aside from the gene mutation talk, let me show you how the guy looks so you get a more realistic picture of who I’m talking about.

+ Show Spoiler [NSFW] +

[image loading]

[image loading]

[image loading]

[image loading]



Yes, I also regret having ever pressed that spoiler button.

The guy is cocky. He’s a videogame addict with a specialty in board, card, and turn-based RPG games. Who the fuck likes that? Anyways, he is convinced he will kick your ass if you ever happen to be so dumb as to even think about challenging him to a one-on-one. He prides himself so much in his abilities as a gamer that he’d make IdrA look like a kid who just made it out of Oxford Academy with honors.

I’ve even made a blog about him in the past. Click here to check it out.

He has no definition of sarcasm, common sense, and shows no sign of possessing the smallest amount of discernment. It is impossible to keep an interesting conversation with him; he’s always either talking about some dumb board game or about his "potential" girlfriend (which happens in most of the cases). It’s his joy to make you feel like shit by starting a girlfriend comparison talk, or by laughing his ass off if you happen to be single (like him).

To give a better feeling for the situation (and the readers happy), I’ve included some pictures of the girl in discussion.

+ Show Spoiler +

[image loading]

[image loading]

[image loading]

[image loading]



Do you now know what I’m talking about? This shit is so outrageous you’ll think I’m making all of this up, but believe me, I wish I was.

I won’t get into describing her since it would make a totally different blog, but let me just say she’s just a normal girl when it comes to personality, but a top university student, of German descent, trilingual, outgoing, real, and totally serious about her next relationship (Hell no).

To save her future, I will stop this beast from achieving something more than a friends-status with her. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself! (Yes, I like her, but I’m doing this rather because I hate the guy even more).

Discuss.

**
Slaughter
Profile Blog Joined November 2003
United States20255 Posts
November 05 2010 16:12 GMT
#2
God speed Brother.
Never Knows Best.
snowdrift
Profile Blog Joined February 2009
France2061 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-11-05 16:19:36
November 05 2010 16:13 GMT
#3
So ur trying to get into the girl's pants by saving her from the ugly nerd? Doesn't make u look any better

Maybe if you manned up and hit it off with her she wouldn't be in the clutches of the beast in the first place.
NaDa. Our Lord and sAviOr shall return. Learn to nydus you scrub
EsX_Raptor
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States2802 Posts
November 05 2010 16:15 GMT
#4
At least I get in her pants. =P
CKSide
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States223 Posts
November 05 2010 16:17 GMT
#5
eh. This post makes you look like a dick.
Can't you just let things run their course and leave it alone?
why do you HAVE to be involved?
seems more like you're so bored that you just want to butt in on other peoples lives.
well either way. GL on your journey.
Check
Rho_
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United States971 Posts
November 05 2010 16:22 GMT
#6
You're as worthless as he is.
251
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
United States1401 Posts
November 05 2010 16:25 GMT
#7
girls that take pictures of themselves this way: typically not worth it

gl hf trying to get the girl I guess
"If you can chill..........then chill."
emperorchampion
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
Canada9496 Posts
November 05 2010 16:26 GMT
#8
Whhhaaaaatt????

I think I deleted the rest of my post like 5 time, I literally have no response for this...

good luck, I guess :S
TRUEESPORTS || your days as a respected member of team liquid are over
University
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States263 Posts
November 05 2010 16:27 GMT
#9
Yeah, man I think you need to just like make a move on this girl or stop worrying about it. There are a lot of hot girls in the world - doesn't really matter if one is taken by this weird guy.
EsX_Raptor
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States2802 Posts
November 05 2010 16:28 GMT
#10
I'm not really worrying about this, I just find it hilarious.

lol

And Rho_, you're the God of one-liners.
plated.rawr
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Norway1676 Posts
November 05 2010 16:32 GMT
#11
Some girls have reversed social attraction - they dig for the lowest. If you're "better" than him, you won't stand a chance.

Anyhow, it's none of your business. Go work on your own shit instead of ruining other people's stuff.
Savior broke my heart ;_; || twitch.tv/onnings
jimminy_kriket
Profile Blog Joined February 2007
Canada5533 Posts
November 05 2010 16:36 GMT
#12
Are you sure she likes him? Like, how could she?
life of lively to live to life of full life thx to shield battery
Rho_
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United States971 Posts
November 05 2010 16:38 GMT
#13
On November 06 2010 01:28 EsX_Raptor wrote:
I'm not really worrying about this, I just find it hilarious.

lol

And Rho_, you're the God of one-liners.


You're welcome.
EsX_Raptor
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States2802 Posts
November 05 2010 16:43 GMT
#14
On November 06 2010 01:38 Rho_ wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 06 2010 01:28 EsX_Raptor wrote:
I'm not really worrying about this, I just find it hilarious.

lol

And Rho_, you're the God of one-liners.


You're welcome.

You're almost at 400, two more man.

She tells me she likes him as a "friend" but the guy is doing everything he can to win her heart and she's slowly falling for it (it seems).

I'll admit me and this guy are actually good friends. He tells me all his fantasies about her and I pretend not to like her to avoid him becoming more asocial and stop talking to me. That'd hurt him since he has zero friends but me and some other pal.

Guess I'll just let those two be and see how it turns out to be honest, but I wanted to jump her.
fredd
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
Estonia256 Posts
November 05 2010 16:45 GMT
#15
she doesn't look too bright but i'd hit it
sup
Kalingingsong
Profile Joined September 2009
Canada633 Posts
November 05 2010 16:45 GMT
#16
At least I get in her pants. =P


What kind of pants was she wearing?
Dess.JadeFalcon
Lucumo
Profile Joined January 2010
6850 Posts
November 05 2010 16:46 GMT
#17
On November 06 2010 01:25 251 wrote:
girls that take pictures of themselves this way: typically not worth it

I absolutely have to agree with this.
emperorchampion
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
Canada9496 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-11-05 16:47:11
November 05 2010 16:46 GMT
#18
On November 06 2010 01:43 EsX_Raptor wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 06 2010 01:38 Rho_ wrote:
On November 06 2010 01:28 EsX_Raptor wrote:
I'm not really worrying about this, I just find it hilarious.

lol

And Rho_, you're the God of one-liners.


You're welcome.

You're almost at 400, two more man.

She tells me she likes him as a "friend" but the guy is doing everything he can to win her heart and she's slowly falling for it (it seems).

I'll admit me and this guy are actually good friends. He tells me all his fantasies about her and I pretend not to like her to avoid him becoming more asocial and stop talking to me. That'd hurt him since he has zero friends but me and some other pal.

Guess I'll just let those two be and see how it turns out to be honest, but I wanted to jump her.


Wait, what the fuck?

Why must everything be an elaborate troll blog? I guess I'm eagerly awaiting the conclusion, in which I expect expert MSPaint images!
TRUEESPORTS || your days as a respected member of team liquid are over
Gleen
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Brazil707 Posts
November 05 2010 16:47 GMT
#19
i'm more rofling at those pictures than thinking about a solid reply.

Made my day.
I'm nowhere near good, but I still have fun playing with my probes
Rho_
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United States971 Posts
November 05 2010 16:49 GMT
#20
You claim to be his friend, but you also state that you hate him. Which one is it? Maybe you should worry about your asocial tendancies (hating/actively backstabbing someone you also consider a friend).
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