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Before I begin this is going to be a whine blog, so whatever.
My relationship with my brother has always been awful, I won't deny it and I have not made any effort to make the difference smaller mostly because I know its not worth the effort. He is the laziest sack of shit I have ever met in my entire fucking life, not to mention he's always rude and disrespectful to everyone. One instance of his laziness would be him NEVER getting up and getting ANYTHING for himself. He lords over my 8 year old sister and gets her to do everything. Like I know in Korean families you can get the younger siblings to do some stuff, but this is fucking ridiculous. He needs some pants to go outside during the rare occasions he bothers to go outside, "HEY GO GET MY PANTS, NO NOT THOSE PANTS ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID" or getting water, I'm amazed he can wipe his arse by himself.
His attitude, theres something fucked up with his brain. He has this attitude that because he cares about the environment and stuff that he's better than me. I admit I don't particularly care about the environment, but I know how much of a massive hypocrite he is when he does nothing proactive about global warming. He disrespects ANYONE who asks him to do even the most trivial task. I swear to fuck putting on some pants and taking out the garbage isn't hard, yet he'll moan and gripe about it for 30 minutes before he either A) decides to go take out the garbage or B) I go take out the garbage. He actually yells at my parents because they don't bring him some food I actually cannot stress how annoying this is, he starts throwing around chairs, yelling, and shouting. Then two months later he actually has the gall to ask why the chairs are breaking. WELL MAYBE ITS BECAUSE YOUR FAT ASS NEVER LEAVES THEM AND WHEN THEY DO ITS BECAUSE YOU'RE THROWING THEM EVERYWHERE, HUH?!!?!?!?! He actually once started doing this in front of my GRANDPARENTS like seriously, my grandma can be a bit overbearing sometimes(a lot) but I don't fucking start yelling(well I do but only because her hearing is going) and throwing shit
On weekends he won't wear a shirt or pants, he'll just go around in boxers closing all the blinds and windows because he's afraid people will see him (we live on the third floor of an apartment, in a pretty sparsely populated area). The thing is none of my family wants to see his sagging manboobs and his gut, but he won't wear a shirt or pants.
My parents recently went on their first vacation in over 10 years after working long hours that most people wouldn't even consider. The first thing he starts bitching about is how this will affect how much DotA time he'll be playing. WHAT THE FUCK ITS DOTA, WHY DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT YOUR PARENTS LIKE SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU. And of course he did nothing basically and my aunt and grandmother coddled him like the baby that he is saying "he's too young to be working" and blah blah blah so me and my cousin had to cover the hours he was originally supposed to work and we were fucking pissed off. I worked 105 hours in 19 days and he worked like 4.
His fucking anger issues are the worst thing about him he'll throw shit, and break plates and then at school he'll play shy asian boy and its really annoying to see someone so fake, that I know is a massive douchebag
/endrant
P.S. I could probably go on, and theres probably worst things he's done, but these are the things that he basically does on a bi-weekly basis that really have stuck
  
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Can I ask how old you all are? That's pretty screwed up though, makes me grateful for the family I have 
Btw what do your parents being gone have to do with his playing Dota?
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Austin10831 Posts
My relationship with my brother has always been awful, I won't deny it and I have not made any effort to make the difference smaller mostly because I know its not worth the effort.
Maybe he feels the same way, and maybe that's why you have a terrible relationship. In the end, you're both still really young. I have a sister who's 22 now, and still fairly self-important. I used to get myself worked up about her antics, her egocentric attitude and the fact that I felt like I was putting much more into the relationship than she was. Ultimately, I had to realize she was dealing with her own problems in her own way.
To be honest, it sounds like you both might have some growing up to do. You need to find a way to view your relationship with your brother as one where the work and effort you put in is enough to satisfy you. Even if he doesn't reciprocate, knowing you're doing all you can will make you feel much better about it.
Reminds me of a thing Isabel Allende said in her "This I Believe"
The pain of losing my child was a cleansing experience. I had to throw overboard all excess baggage and keep only what is essential. Because of Paula, I don't cling to anything anymore. Now I like to give much more than to receive. I am happier when I love than when I am loved. I adore my husband, my son, my grandchildren, my mother, my dog, and frankly I don't know if they even like me. But who cares? Loving them is my joy.
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I don't know how it works with asians familys, but in mine, act like that and your going to get your sorry ass kicked.
but seriously, how comes nobody beats the crap out of him?
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i'm not sure if this is a troll or not
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i think u need to get your ass beat by your hyung like right now
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On April 28 2010 04:11 il0seonpurpose wrote:Can I ask how old you all are? That's pretty screwed up though, makes me grateful for the family I have Btw what do your parents being gone have to do with his playing Dota?
I'm 17, and he's 16.
My parents are going on a vacation and we're all expected to help out a bit at the business while he's gone, and he's concerned how much this will cut into his Internet time
On April 28 2010 04:14 BroOd wrote:Show nested quote +My relationship with my brother has always been awful, I won't deny it and I have not made any effort to make the difference smaller mostly because I know its not worth the effort. Maybe he feels the same way, and maybe that's why you have a terrible relationship. In the end, you're both still really young. I have a sister who's 22 now, and still fairly self-important. I used to get myself worked up about her antics, her egocentric attitude and the fact that I felt like I was putting much more into the relationship than she was. Ultimately, I had to realize she was dealing with her own problems in her own way. To be honest, it sounds like you both might have some growing up to do. You need to find a way to view your relationship with your brother as one where the work and effort you put in is enough to satisfy you. Even if he doesn't reciprocate, knowing you're doing all you can will make you feel much better about it. Reminds me of a thing Isabel Allende said in her "This I Believe" Show nested quote +The pain of losing my child was a cleansing experience. I had to throw overboard all excess baggage and keep only what is essential. Because of Paula, I don't cling to anything anymore. Now I like to give much more than to receive. I am happier when I love than when I am loved. I adore my husband, my son, my grandchildren, my mother, my dog, and frankly I don't know if they even like me. But who cares? Loving them is my joy.
I don't really know what kind of issues he would have to deal with, anything he would be teased about its because he brought it upon himself. The other morning after I was sleeping in on Sunday, after the 'volunteer work' I was asked to put up this massive tent that we have for flowers. I thought I had earned an honest break right, so I ask my mom to get my brother to do it since he hasn't done much. 3 minutes later he starts his usual yelling and screaming, and starts calling me gay, homo, retard, etc, etc. By then I'm awake and the blame falls on me again. I just can't get around how much he could disrespect his parents and grandparents and it really pisses me off, meh.
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Also this is not a troll, if anything I'm understating most of what happens -_-;
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trollin?
Edit: gues not, just smack him around when your parents aren't around.
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Hmm looks like he was a bit too spoiled as a child. I dont think theres anything you can do now. Hes just another spoiled stubborn teenager. When high school finishes hopefully your parents dont baby him too long and he gets hit in the face with reality.
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On April 28 2010 04:48 showkjh wrote:Show nested quote +On April 28 2010 04:11 il0seonpurpose wrote:
Btw what do your parents being gone have to do with his playing Dota? I'm 17, and he's 16. My parents are going on a vacation and we're all expected to help out a bit at the business while he's gone, and he's concerned how much this will cut into his Internet time
nigga if YOU'RE the jangnam and you're allowing your family to get dominated by someone lower than you in the hierarchy you are fucking failing, go punch him in the nose right now, don't even have a discussion. i'm serious yo. get off the computer, find a bat or something for self-confidence and go kick his ass, it's the only way and you only have one or two more years where u can abuse your mutual non-adult status to use physical violence
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That is not right. It is time for you to step in and fix the problem. Make him your bitch.
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If this is true, you should consider giving him the first beat down of his life. I probably shouldn't advocate violence, especially when I don't have all the facts (only your story), but he sounds like a spoiled bitch in serious need of a wake up call.
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Not working at 16 is a fairly standard deal man. I refused to work till I was 17 and only worked while on summer break. Not excusing the rest of his shitty behaviour, but not working a job is normal 
If hes on summer break already then yea, kinda lazy.
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On April 28 2010 05:03 Chriamon wrote:
Blame the parents.
My parents are wonderful people I could never REALLY blame them for anything. They went through the age old story of packing up everything and leaving South Korea to come to Canada in search of a better life for their children. My mom had a university degree in chemistry and was dabbling in planning for construction while looking for a job in her field. They basically left their entire family and their friends behind for their children, and my mom gave up her career to be basically a housewife/variety store clerk. Theres no way I could blame my parents for whatever he does, and frankly I'm a bit insulted.
On April 28 2010 05:06 BloodyC0bbler wrote:Not working at 16 is a fairly standard deal man. I refused to work till I was 17 and only worked while on summer break. Not excusing the rest of his shitty behaviour, but not working a job is normal If hes on summer break already then yea, kinda lazy.
Him not working really just shows me that he doesn't appreciate what my parents have done for us, and I perceived that as he not thinking they deserve a vacation.
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On April 28 2010 05:06 BloodyC0bbler wrote:Not working at 16 is a fairly standard deal man. I refused to work till I was 17 and only worked while on summer break. Not excusing the rest of his shitty behaviour, but not working a job is normal If hes on summer break already then yea, kinda lazy.
but its the family business...
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On April 28 2010 04:54 d_so wrote:Show nested quote +On April 28 2010 04:48 showkjh wrote:On April 28 2010 04:11 il0seonpurpose wrote:
Btw what do your parents being gone have to do with his playing Dota? I'm 17, and he's 16. My parents are going on a vacation and we're all expected to help out a bit at the business while he's gone, and he's concerned how much this will cut into his Internet time nigga if YOU'RE the jangnam and you're allowing your family to get dominated by someone lower than you in the hierarchy you are fucking failing, go punch him in the nose right now, don't even have a discussion. i'm serious yo. get off the computer, find a bat or something for self-confidence and go kick his ass, it's the only way and you only have one or two more years where u can abuse your mutual non-adult status to use physical violence
This is a horrible comment....wow
I've had problems with my younger brother growing up as well, and all I can say is in the end, just do everything you are asked to do, and totally ignore everything about him. He knows he can get under your skin really easy, and takes advantage of it. From now on, just ignore his presence. If he tries to speak to you, don't even give him eye contact. If you are both asked to do something, just go and do it, and who cares if he helps or not. In the end, your parents will look at you as the mature, respectful hardworking son, and view him as the lazy slob that in the end deserves nothing.
You may have to deal with his bullshit while you reside at home, but think of the future, and the respect your parents will show you. Hell even your brother will eventually stop being such a pain, and not bother wasting his time pissing you off, because in the end, you could care less.
ths approach really helped me and my brother get along when we were younger, and now that were both in our mid twenties, we have grown to appreciate brotherhood much more, and don't have to look back and think of possible times where we got violent (which is always ackward between brothers as they grow up)
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Shoot him and be done with it. Fucking guy reminds me of myself when I was 7.
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I'm just getting my first job and I'm 19. But then again my family isn't really in need of my work.
Yeah you should just school him and make him fear you. Also take away his internet in a month he won't remember it exists.
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Makes me appreciate that my brother is a nice guy.
Perhaps talk to your parents about it. Maybe they will consider straightening him up in some way if you think it would work out, 16 years old is definitely an age to get his shit together. I`ve never really been in a similar situation fortunately so I`m just guessing what could be done.
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Well it seems like his parents avoid confrontation at all costs, that's how he got like that.
OP you basically have to be his dad, and he won't except it until you show him that you are boss. With him violence will be a scary realization and a huge shock, he should straighten out.
You need to get to a point where he cringes in fear when you raise your voice/hand.
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On April 28 2010 05:17 sArite_nite wrote:
Shoot him and be done with it. Fucking guy reminds me of myself when I was 7.
Hahahaha.
Seriously, can't you just reason with him? or, y'know, wake him up with an air horn or something
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I would say, ask your parents to have a sitdown with your brother. Just ask them to tell him that he needs to stop acting so self-centred, and get him to understand your and their own situation. You're a family, and you have to be supportive of each other.
I would generally not advocate violence. But if your parents can't or won't talk to him themselves, then you'll have to somehow force him to sit down for some man to man talk about how to behave himself. Don't start going crazy and punch him or anything, but just pin him to the ground or something and talk some sense into him.
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On April 28 2010 05:13 jtbem wrote:Show nested quote +On April 28 2010 05:06 BloodyC0bbler wrote:Not working at 16 is a fairly standard deal man. I refused to work till I was 17 and only worked while on summer break. Not excusing the rest of his shitty behaviour, but not working a job is normal If hes on summer break already then yea, kinda lazy. but its the family business...
Eh, it can be a family business. That doesn't mean he wants to work there?
I have worked at a corner store before, and the only reason they hired me was because their son didn't want to work there at the family business. It is normal, even if its really fing rude. I'm not excusing the rest of his behaviour in the least. But you can't for someone to get a job while they are young. Well not and expect good results.
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I think my parents just think this is a phase, but he's been acting this way for nearly 4 years now, and its starting. Like my mom and dad will lay down the law of the land once it gets to a certain point, but only at that point
MAYBE JUST MAYBE I'm wrong to be so pessimistic and maybe he'll grow out of it, but the way he acts and continues to act it really feels like his maturity has stunted
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Man boobs....gods way of punishing the lazy
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Austin10831 Posts
He's 16. There no trick that's going to suddenly make him into a good brother. You can hit him, go to your parents, or try to be Junior Dad, but in the end the change is going to have to come from him. You can't just force people to be what you want them to be. Tame your resentment, and don't focus on his short-comings because you're just going to fruitlessly frustrate yourself. Just work on being a good brother yourself, you'll be a whole lot happier.
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Yea dude 16 is just a teenager, thats what they do man.
Just give it some time, he'll mature. And deep down, he'll always feel bad/ashamed of the things he did.
Or if you're korean, just beat the shit out of him. yell at him in korean. repeat until better.
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On April 28 2010 05:42 BroOd wrote:
He's 16. There no trick that's going to suddenly make him into a good brother. You can hit him, go to your parents, or try to be Junior Dad, but in the end the change is going to have to come from him. You can't just force people to be what you want them to be. Tame your resentment, and don't focus on his short-comings because you're just going to fruitlessly frustrate yourself. Just work on being a good brother yourself, you'll be a whole lot happier.
This. Everyone commenting about "hit him blah blah blah". Shit aint going to work at all. Hes a stubborn "teenager" and judging the way he acts now i gaurantee he wont change until hes near his mid 20's
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does he have any friends
sounds like hikkikomori in a way
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My advice would be to just bear with it for a few mores years. Protect your sister and forget about your brother. Until he can show self growth you will be wasting your time and end up hating him even more. If you can't do this then I suggest making sure no one gets him shit and to tell people at school what he is really like. Nothing can change a guy better than a little embarrassment.
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Fake his signature and sign him up for the army
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this might sound like trolling but
1V1 him in real life
talk to him WHEN hes not on the computer aka eating/ other stuff
show him some 3rd world videos and tell him its a priveldge not a right ?i think thats how it goes
or tell him to read this blog
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I used to be addicted to dota man, and let me tell you, you can't reason with these people. I can totally relate to your brother, logging to garena or tda, pub stomping with 4 "dota buddies" probably meant the whole world to him.
If you want to change him to a loving son, a good brother and a responsible human being, you have to make him quit dota, and to do that, you have to change his lifestyle, get him a job, get him a girlfriend, go outside, anything that can get his mind off that game. It took me 2 years to quit and after I realized how much I have missed out on the real world, and I am still catching up to this day.
HELP YOUR BROTHER, STOP HIS ADDICTION BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!!!
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Or you can do this:
Install WC3 yourself.
Find out his nickname, and once you find that out, follow him when he joins a game
Feed the other team1
Watch & laugh at him in misery.
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My only advice is to beat his ass.
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during this vacation would be a perfect time to stop taking shit from him. if he refuses to do his share of the work you cant really force him to (via beating him lol) but you can prevent him from using your sister. get your sister on your side and he will at least have to do basic shit for himself, and without your sister to support his selfish habits he should feel less comfortable being a huge baby, because there is no one to encourage it.
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College is next year, you're almost out.
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You just have to relize it's like that, and stop thinking about how bad it is. I have a sick father, who get's angry soooo fast. All you do is let them talk shit to you, and you just shut the fock up. Now you may think " Then he will think he is allowed to do that", sure that's true. BUT!
You will move out soon, you will work, get a good carrier or how u write it, and what will he have? Stuck with his parents until he is 50-60 (because they are dead) and what then?
See the positive in everything. You have a bitch situation, but hey, you will be 10 times more of a man than ur brother. That experiance may help you furder in life!
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Beat his sorry ass into submission.
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On April 28 2010 06:07 Zanric wrote:
Protect your sister...
You should definitely try to change him. Waiting for the change...that could take too many years and when you move out, she will be all alone, without any protection. So either try to crush his ego or beat him up. I don't think he is the kind of person that will listen to his parents, so that would be futile.
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On April 28 2010 06:23 Amnesia wrote:
Or you can do this:
Install WC3 yourself.
Find out his nickname, and once you find that out, follow him when he joins a game
Feed the other team1
Watch him languish in misery.
looool
as a ex-dota player, I support this painful method of punishment. Like, that would be more painful than any sort of physical abuse you could do.
DO IT!!!
changed laugh to languish cuz i dont get it..
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A brother like that I wouldn't trust to do the right thing while your little sister is around and your not there to protect her, You honestly have to put him in his place before you just run off to college, its obvious from what your saying your parents are too meek to step up to the plate. I've had to play junior dad before and trust me, a few years down the road they will thank you for it.
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On April 28 2010 06:52 Xenocide_Knight wrote:Show nested quote +On April 28 2010 06:23 Amnesia wrote:
Or you can do this:
Install WC3 yourself.
Find out his nickname, and once you find that out, follow him when he joins a game
Feed the other team1
Watch him languish in misery. looool as a ex-dota player, I support this painful method of punishment. Like, that would be more painful than any sort of physical abuse you could do. DO IT!!! changed laugh to languish cuz i dont get it..
Whoops, I meant watch & laugh. I'll edit it right now lol~
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I wish i had a brother or a sister 
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man. this is ridiculous. your brother sounds like a dick. if this is actually true, and you haven't exaggerated at all in this thread, you gotta talk to somebody about this. we really can't help much except give you our pity. I feel bad for you dude. I've always been great with my siblings, and I can't imagine any of them acting this way.
You GOTTA do something dude. I'm basing this response off of the possibility that people like your brother can exist. talk to a school counselor, your parents, your g-parents, your younger sister. get a powerbase, and figure this stuff out with teammates.
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lol this thread makes me lol so hard
grow a dick
and beat the shit out of your brother
let him know who's boss
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It's not worth beating up my brother, whatever I do to him will only get me in trouble with my parents, which I don't need right now. What the fuck will beating up my brother do, I've tried it in the past and all it got us was downstairs neighbours complaining about the noise upstairs. If I just try and beat him up right now what kind of respect would that give me seriously. I'm sure it'll get me tonnes of street cred and what not -_-
+ Show Spoiler +Also he weighs more than me now and I'd rather not have him sitting on me, just sayin'
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On April 28 2010 08:50 showkjh wrote:It's not worth beating up my brother, whatever I do to him will only get me in trouble with my parents, which I don't need right now. What the fuck will beating up my brother do, I've tried it in the past and all it got us was downstairs neighbours complaining about the noise upstairs. If I just try and beat him up right now what kind of respect would that give me seriously. I'm sure it'll get me tonnes of street cred and what not -_- + Show Spoiler +Also he weighs more than me now and I'd rather not have him sitting on me, just sayin'
then get some mad pussy. get his respect that way
sneak in some drunk horny broad into his room and act drunk
and be like .. sorry using your bed tonight
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On April 28 2010 08:52 DreaM)XeRO wrote:Show nested quote +On April 28 2010 08:50 showkjh wrote:It's not worth beating up my brother, whatever I do to him will only get me in trouble with my parents, which I don't need right now. What the fuck will beating up my brother do, I've tried it in the past and all it got us was downstairs neighbours complaining about the noise upstairs. If I just try and beat him up right now what kind of respect would that give me seriously. I'm sure it'll get me tonnes of street cred and what not -_- + Show Spoiler +Also he weighs more than me now and I'd rather not have him sitting on me, just sayin' then get some mad pussy. get his respect that way sneak in some drunk horny broad into his room and act drunk and be like .. sorry using your bed tonight
.... This has to be the worst piece of advice I've ever received in my life.
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lmao DreaM
Harsh bro. Seems like he's the type that's not going to learn, is he? I don't think fighting would have solved the problem in any case.
Honestly, I don't know if you can do anything. I'd let it slide and just wait till he's out of your way once you're in college and hope he doesn't abuse your sister. Maybe he's just one of those type who mooches off their parents and becomes a fucking NEET for the rest of the lives...
Have you tried a psychologist? I dunno if they'd help at all, but it's worth a shot.
Also, I'd get at DotA and wreck his ass.
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On April 28 2010 08:50 showkjh wrote:It's not worth beating up my brother, whatever I do to him will only get me in trouble with my parents, which I don't need right now. What the fuck will beating up my brother do, I've tried it in the past and all it got us was downstairs neighbours complaining about the noise upstairs. If I just try and beat him up right now what kind of respect would that give me seriously. I'm sure it'll get me tonnes of street cred and what not -_- + Show Spoiler +Also he weighs more than me now and I'd rather not have him sitting on me, just sayin'
Its not about street cred or that shit. Are you seriously going to let your brother grow up into a lumbering slob because you don't want to get in trouble with your parents? Parents forgive, but if you let your brother keep on this road your not doing him any favors, you have to knock some fucking sense into him. Being Reasonable only works with reasonable people.
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3861 Posts
Have you talked to your parents one on one about this? I'm sure they are feeling similarly to you but just don't want to 'hurt his feelings' maybe you should have a mature conversation with them, where you're concerned for your brother's mental growth as a human instead of whining.
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On April 28 2010 11:56 lilsusie wrote:
Have you talked to your parents one on one about this? I'm sure they are feeling similarly to you but just don't want to 'hurt his feelings' maybe you should have a mature conversation with them, where you're concerned for your brother's mental growth as a human instead of whining.
My parents just say that they'll talk to him as they have in the past. My cousin and I actually talked quite a bit about him and she seems to believe that he'll grow out of it, but I'm not as sure.
Also now that I've calmed down this does seem rather whiny, but I just wanted to vent some of my frustration at the time ><
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On April 28 2010 04:54 d_so wrote:Show nested quote +On April 28 2010 04:48 showkjh wrote:On April 28 2010 04:11 il0seonpurpose wrote:
Btw what do your parents being gone have to do with his playing Dota? I'm 17, and he's 16. My parents are going on a vacation and we're all expected to help out a bit at the business while he's gone, and he's concerned how much this will cut into his Internet time nigga if YOU'RE the jangnam and you're allowing your family to get dominated by someone lower than you in the hierarchy you are fucking failing, go punch him in the nose right now, don't even have a discussion. i'm serious yo. get off the computer, find a bat or something for self-confidence and go kick his ass, it's the only way and you only have one or two more years where u can abuse your mutual non-adult status to use physical violence
Pretty much, and I'm not trolling. Also, this is coming from the perspective of a younger brother myself.
See, basically the problem is your brother is insanely spoiled, and there's no one in your family disciplining him. He's just acting out like an idiot because it's easy and he can, and he doesn't know better. He needs to be disciplined, and this is ultimately for his well-being as well as your family's.
Since your parents won't do it, and I'm not blaming them, some parents coddle their kids, the task falls to you.
Trust me, he'll appreciate the ass-kicking when he matures.
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EPT
