• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EDT 13:00
CEST 19:00
KST 02:00
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
herO wins GSL Code S Season 1 (2025)11Code S RO4 & Finals Preview: herO, GuMiho, Classic, Cure6Code S RO8 Preview: Classic, Reynor, Maru, GuMiho4Code S RO8 Preview: ByuN, Rogue, herO, Cure5[ASL19] Ro4 Preview: Storied Rivals7
Community News
Weekly Cups (May 12-18): Clem sweeps WardiTV May3Code S Season 2 (2025) - Qualifier Results162025 GSL Season 2 (Qualifiers)14Code S Season 1 - Classic & GuMiho advance to RO4 (2025)4[BSL 2v2] ProLeague Season 3 - Friday 21:00 CET7
StarCraft 2
General
Code S RO8 Preview: Classic, Reynor, Maru, GuMiho Code S Season 2 (2025) - Qualifier Results Replay cast herO wins GSL Code S Season 1 (2025) Power Rank: October 2018
Tourneys
RSL: Revival, a new crowdfunded tournament series DreamHack Dallas 2025 announced (May 23-25) [GSL 2025] Code S Season 1 - RO4 and Grand Finals PIG STY FESTIVAL 6.0! (28 Apr - 4 May) Monday Nights Weeklies
Strategy
Simple Questions Simple Answers [G] PvT Cheese: 13 Gate Proxy Robo
Custom Maps
[UMS] Zillion Zerglings
External Content
Mutation # 474 Futile Resistance Mutation # 473 Cold is the Void Mutation # 472 Dead Heat Mutation # 471 Delivery Guaranteed
Brood War
General
who is JiriKara /Cipisek/ from CZ BW General Discussion Where is effort ? ASL 19 Tickets for foreigners BGH auto balance -> http://bghmmr.eu/
Tourneys
[Megathread] Daily Proleagues The Casual Games of the Week Thread [ASL19] Semifinal A [USBL Spring 2025] Groups cast
Strategy
I am doing this better than progamers do. [G] How to get started on ladder as a new Z player Creating a full chart of Zerg builds
Other Games
General Games
Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread Beyond All Reason What do you want from future RTS games? Grand Theft Auto VI Nintendo Switch Thread
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
LiquidLegends to reintegrate into TL.net
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers
Hearthstone
Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
Vanilla Mini Mafia TL Mafia Community Thread TL Mafia Plays: Diplomacy TL Mafia: Generative Agents Showdown Survivor II: The Amazon
Community
General
Russo-Ukrainian War Thread Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine US Politics Mega-thread UK Politics Mega-thread European Politico-economics QA Mega-thread
Fan Clubs
Serral Fan Club
Media & Entertainment
[Manga] One Piece Movie Discussion! Anime Discussion Thread [Books] Wool by Hugh Howey
Sports
2024 - 2025 Football Thread Formula 1 Discussion NHL Playoffs 2024 NBA General Discussion
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread Cleaning My Mechanical Keyboard How to clean a TTe Thermaltake keyboard?
TL Community
The Automated Ban List TL.net Ten Commandments
Blogs
Narcissists In Gaming: Why T…
TrAiDoS
Poker
Nebuchad
Info SLEgma_12
SLEgma_12
SECOND COMMING
XenOsky
WombaT’s Old BW Terran Theme …
WombaT
Heero Yuy & the Tax…
KrillinFromwales
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 7361 users

Wanabe physchiatrists apply here.

Blogs > TheComeback
Post a Reply
VTArlock
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
United States1763 Posts
April 22 2010 23:44 GMT
#1
So this blog is asking for some advice and opinions on some issues I'm currently having.

Brief History. (There are 2 girls involved they will be known as ex.1 and ex.2)

Ok So ex.1 was my "first love" we were very close for about 7 years, fooling around but never actually committing to each other but in January of 2009 we made the leap and eventually moved in with each other. We had a very rocky relationship, like everyone we had our issues. On a sidenote, we knew each other better than anyone. I could look at her and know if something was wrong, or if something was bugging her. I could tell if she was annoyed,angry,upset,depressed and 100% of the time I could cheer her up. She could do the same for me.

We had a very bad breakup which lead to us blocking each other on facebook, not contacting each other at all and since the breakup (which occured in jan 2010) we have not talked. There has been no contact of any kind what so ever.

So in my depression from this breakup ex.2 came around and definatly helped me get into the stages of "being happy" again. She was more of less of a rebound but I did like her. We broke up about a month ago and we talk every now and then. She tells me how much she misses me and she simply doesn't understand why we cant be together. I've never told her that its because whenever I sleep/touch/kiss her I think of ex.1 and I will not tell her because it would break her heart. She has (ex.2) been into me since highschool and I was never really interested but over the years she has become very attractice and shes a very "good girl". Unfortunatly I think shes a bit too much of a "good girl" for me. The sex is standard at best, I cant talk to her like I could ex.1 and I dont really feel like I can just be myself.

Thats why I ended things with ex.2 it gets a bit annoying how she will keep msging me or texting/calling saying how much she misses me and why she doesn't understand why we cant be together and I just keep saying its me not her and all that blah blah shit.

ANYWAYS heres my issue..

I've noticed that over the last week, I've had dreams of seeing ex.1. Like, I'll be at a party with friends and she'll show up. Or Ill be watching TV in my house and she'll walk in and be like I've missed you so much. Basically every dream ends with me being utterly shocked and amazed that shes actually there in front of me and the emotions run wild and I feel like finally the world has meaning again.

I know what my issue is... obviously I'm still in love with ex.1. Since contacting her is out of the question (because I'm too nervous to actually make the leap to do it and also my friends would hate me for it) She was a bit of a control freak and I can admit, I lived for her, if she wasn't happy I wasn't happy. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this girl.

Anyways... How do I get over her? What can I do to make me stop thinking of her, obviously getting a rebound girl did nothing except hurt someone else's feelings and I dont want to do that again.
Advice?Opinions? What has helped you guys get over "the one"... If theres any question about it thats what this is... This was "the one" and she got away... Help?

Why?
ella_guru
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Canada1741 Posts
April 22 2010 23:56 GMT
#2
She's not the one. And you weren't for her.

The one is _the one_ . The one that got away , isn't the one.

TAHT DEFEATS THE WHOLE POTN!!

but, you have to do the things that give you strength and what you feel define you as a person. These things are probably difficult. For me, practicing music or going for a walk by myself at a leisurely pace while trying to clear my mind are the two biggest.

Talk amongst friends, and laugh often with them.
Each day gets better : )
Thrill
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
2599 Posts
April 22 2010 23:57 GMT
#3
I would contact ReSpOnSe and ask him for advice.
gogogadgetflow
Profile Joined March 2010
United States2583 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-04-22 23:58:47
April 22 2010 23:57 GMT
#4
+ Show Spoiler +
not a psychologist


If you were truly happy with ex. 1 then fuck what your friends say (I mean listen to their opinions with respect but make your own decision).

Also I find your name really fitting in this situation.
edit: i realize i didnt answer your question of how to get over a girl. I guess i'm innocent enough that i've never had to 'get over' anyone I loved.
BroOd
Profile Blog Joined April 2003
Austin10831 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-04-23 00:00:31
April 23 2010 00:00 GMT
#5
you know who you should ask about the one who got away?
+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]
ModeratorSIRL and JLIG.
TelecoM
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
United States10666 Posts
April 23 2010 00:04 GMT
#6
bro's over hoes
AKA: TelecoM[WHITE] Protoss fighting
Atom Cannister
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
Germany380 Posts
April 23 2010 00:10 GMT
#7
As ella_guru said,

Just chill out with your friends and don't think about relationships for a while.
Do whatever you really want to do because you don't have any commitments at the moment.
...
IndecisivePenguin
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
United States771 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-04-23 00:13:11
April 23 2010 00:12 GMT
#8
I'm not going to pretend I have the answers for you, but I'll help you with what I know.

It's hard to really tell what kind of relationship you and ex.1 had because you discuss it so briefly and don't go into very much detail about it. My main curiosity is what happened between the two of you that caused such a horrible consequence. If you two were truly in a loving relationship, I do not understand how it would simply fall to the eventuality of completely shutting each other out. When you really love someone, you don't stop caring about them. Loving someone is more than a feeling, it's a choice.

Obviously you still care about ex.1. But you have brought it upon yourself to try to get over her instead of back with her, meaning the breakup probably shook things up pretty badly (even to the point of your friends becoming involved or affected).

If you really want to try and see if there's any possibility of another chance between you two, you should really just sum up the courage to go through with contacting her. Again, I stress my misunderstanding of how you two managed to get in such a bad spot with each other, to the point of not even being able to speak to one another. But yes, if it's something you'd really want, you have to just push yourself.

But this isn't what you're asking, right? You want to get over her. Something terrible has happened and it's not worth going back to for you. One thing that really helps is the break of communication, which you two have already established. Not being constantly reminded of their presence will work wonders for getting over a person. Another thing that can probably help is to disallow yourself to be around certain things that remind you of her.

Aside from these though, it might be best to actually go back and re-evaluate the relationship you two had. This will help for multiple reasons: it will decide whether or not it would be worth pursuing again, and it will help establish whether or not she's as great as you once thought of her.

The key to any relationship is balance, and it's really a dominating aspect of the success. Both people need to mutually care for one another, be willing to understand from their partner's viewpoints, and be willing to compromise. If she were unable to do any of these things, a healthy relationship was not in the making. She needs to have cared for you as much as you have for her. She needs to have considered you before herself, just as you should have been doing as well. You two should have been wanting the same things out of the relationship. If she hasn't been able to do these things for you, then it is for the best that the relationship did not last.

I'm not some expert on these things, really, but I hope these kind of help a bit. After you think about what kind of person she was, it would be good to think a bit about what kind of person you are too I think. If you still find yourself in the same position, then just try to keep her out of your everyday life as much as you can. The feelings will fade eventually, because in the end, we all need someone to love us, and we eventually realize how pointless it is to be chasing something that cannot be caught. And the mentality that these girls remind you of her is temporary, because in reality, she was probably just the first to arrive. These girls are independent of each other. They are unique, and in my opinion, should be treated as such. There's always going to be something special about each of them. What that something is just needs to be found out in time.

I really hope the best for you man. Good luck and best wishes.
GoTuNk!
Profile Blog Joined September 2006
Chile4591 Posts
April 23 2010 00:13 GMT
#9
Get over her (ex1) , evaluate(your feelings) if a relationship with ex2 would be enyojable, act on it. Do sports/weights, always helps :p.
Smix *
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United States4549 Posts
April 23 2010 01:17 GMT
#10
LOL BROOD.

But on a related matter, do you mind going into why you and ex. 1 broke up? It seems like what you guys had was pretty substantial... what happened to tear that apart?
TranslatorBe an Optimist Prime, Not a Negatron // twitter @smixity
Spazer
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
Canada8029 Posts
April 23 2010 01:22 GMT
#11
I suggest you submit a sample of your handwriting to Chef for analysis. You'll be surprised at what he finds.
Liquipedia
VTArlock
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
United States1763 Posts
April 23 2010 02:11 GMT
#12
On April 23 2010 10:17 Smix wrote:
LOL BROOD.

But on a related matter, do you mind going into why you and ex. 1 broke up? It seems like what you guys had was pretty substantial... what happened to tear that apart?


Well she ended up moving to away to college (3 hours away) and that made things a bit difficult. On top of that there was some jealousy issues on both of our parts. I was 100% faithful but I cant say the same for her. It was only once, and she was drunk. But trust was a big issue, and that on top of being 3 hours away made things very very difficult
Why?
MrStorkie
Profile Joined April 2010
United Kingdom697 Posts
April 23 2010 02:32 GMT
#13
deep down, u already know what u want/should do..

perhaps you just needed someone to give u that little push, so yea, go for it..
1a2a3a4z5z6d7d8d9p0p
VTArlock
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
United States1763 Posts
April 23 2010 07:00 GMT
#14
On April 23 2010 11:32 MrStorkie wrote:
deep down, u already know what u want/should do..

perhaps you just needed someone to give u that little push, so yea, go for it..


I know exactly what I want to do, I just cant do that. Contact with her is not ok. I cant/wont do it. I need to get over her... Shes hazardous to my health
Why?
Cr4zyH0r5e
Profile Blog Joined November 2007
Peru1308 Posts
April 23 2010 07:27 GMT
#15
Man I'm about to be in the same situation as you are... well maybe... I'll find out on april 30th... except my gf did not cheat on me...
However in all honesty if I were in that situation (being cheated on) as much as it hurted and however difficult it could be to get over someone with whom I believe to be truly in love... I'm pretty sure you talked about the consequences of such acts and drunk or not a person is still somewhat conscious of their actions. If I were in that situation I'd say fuck her, because when it comes to something that big/important for a relationship there shouldn't be second chances. She cheats -> she's out. But then again it's ultimately your decision and where you stand on those issues.
Diamond 4 Jungle/Support - http://www.twitch.tv/cr4zyh0r5e/c/3051057 Zyra support 101
Squeegy
Profile Joined October 2009
Finland1166 Posts
April 23 2010 11:26 GMT
#16
On April 23 2010 16:00 TheComeback wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 23 2010 11:32 MrStorkie wrote:
deep down, u already know what u want/should do..

perhaps you just needed someone to give u that little push, so yea, go for it..


I know exactly what I want to do, I just cant do that. Contact with her is not ok. I cant/wont do it. I need to get over her... Shes hazardous to my health


Good choice man. I'm still struggling myself after a year! But it gets better, things are way easier now than they were. You just have to realize that you don't need her.
Stan: Dude, dolphins are intelligent and friendly. Cartman: Intelligent and friendly on rye bread with some mayonnaise.
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
Next event in 7h
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
mouzHeroMarine 764
MindelVK 24
StarCraft: Brood War
Bisu 4272
Shuttle 1984
Jaedong 1782
Soulkey 558
Snow 544
firebathero 379
Rush 148
BeSt 141
Dewaltoss 129
JYJ88
[ Show more ]
ToSsGirL 43
sSak 31
sorry 24
soO 21
Terrorterran 20
IntoTheRainbow 18
Backho 13
ajuk12(nOOB) 9
Shine 8
Dota 2
Gorgc10335
qojqva2387
Dendi557
XcaliburYe192
Counter-Strike
olofmeister7791
fl0m4557
ceh9411
Other Games
hiko1224
FrodaN1074
Beastyqt600
Mlord385
Lowko331
crisheroes230
ArmadaUGS164
Liquid`VortiX146
Livibee91
Trikslyr80
QueenE55
Organizations
StarCraft 2
ESL.tv136
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
sctven
[ Show 20 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• StrangeGG 69
• LUISG 23
• Adnapsc2 8
• Hinosc 7
• Kozan
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• sooper7s
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• Migwel
• intothetv
• IndyKCrew
StarCraft: Brood War
• FirePhoenix2
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
• BSLYoutube
Dota 2
• WagamamaTV374
League of Legends
• Nemesis3344
• Jankos1300
• TFBlade676
Other Games
• imaqtpie218
Upcoming Events
PiGosaur Monday
7h
The PondCast
17h
Replay Cast
1d 7h
Replay Cast
1d 17h
Replay Cast
2 days
Replay Cast
2 days
Road to EWC
2 days
Replay Cast
3 days
SC Evo League
3 days
Road to EWC
3 days
[ Show More ]
Afreeca Starleague
4 days
BeSt vs Soulkey
Road to EWC
4 days
Wardi Open
5 days
Replay Cast
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Proleague 2025-05-16
2025 GSL S1
Calamity Stars S2

Ongoing

JPL Season 2
ASL Season 19
YSL S1
BSL 2v2 Season 3
BSL Season 20
China & Korea Top Challenge
KCM Race Survival 2025 Season 2
NPSL S3
Heroes 10 EU
IEM Dallas 2025
PGL Astana 2025
Asian Champions League '25
ECL Season 49: Europe
BLAST Rivals Spring 2025
MESA Nomadic Masters
CCT Season 2 Global Finals
IEM Melbourne 2025
YaLLa Compass Qatar 2025
PGL Bucharest 2025
BLAST Open Spring 2025
ESL Pro League S21

Upcoming

Rose Open S1
CSLPRO Last Chance 2025
CSLAN 2025
K-Championship
SEL Season 2 Championship
Esports World Cup 2025
HSC XXVII
Championship of Russia 2025
Bellum Gens Elite Stara Zagora 2025
2025 GSL S2
DreamHack Dallas 2025
IEM Cologne 2025
FISSURE Playground #1
BLAST.tv Austin Major 2025
ESL Impact League Season 7
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2025 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.